Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005): Season 5, Episode 10 - Weight and See - full transcript
The Immortal Weapons with the Mountain Demon Chi are found. But they're mixed in with other normal items. The Mountain Demon Chi is absorbed just as Drago decides to take a new approach to dealing with the Chans.
Tohru: Unh! Oh!
Jade: That's it, big guy.
Only 2 more miles.
Tohru: Oh, I can't...
I can't make it.
Jade: Can't isn't
in our vocabulary.
Feel the burn!
(Tohru groans)
Uncle: Aiiyaa!
Jackie!
Jade: What is it, uncle?
Uncle: A drum!
The immortal relic
used to defeat po Kong,
the mountain demon.
Demon chi has been activated!
Jackie: Canada.
Stone walls. Must be Quebec.
It's a walled city.
We'd better move quickly.
After losing the
thunder demon chi,
drago will be more
determined than ever.
(Tohru breathing heavily)
Jade: Going somewhere?
Jackie: Canada.
The mountain demon chi is in Quebec.
Jade: Cool!
I can practice my French.
Croissant, crepe,
creme brulee, baguette.
Tohru: Mmm! Baguette.
Jade: No baguette, tohru!
Think lean and mean protein.
No bread, no pasta, no
rice, no cookies, no cake.
Jackie: No Quebec.
And no argument.
You have a big math test tomorrow.
Remember?
You stay here with tohru.
Jade: Aww. Tohru: Ugh!
(Chi-o-matic sputtering)
Jackie: Is it broken?
Uncle: Not anymore.
Jackie: "Ancient rice and
artifacts collection?"
Rice? I thought we were
searching for a drum.
Maybe that thing is broken.
Maybe it's that new
containment jar.
Uncle: Since when are
you the big-time expert?
New containment
jar not a problem.
Uncle made so device can hold
more than one demon chi at once.
Does not affect the
way detector works.
Now knock.
French woman: Bonjour.
Comment allez-vous
à aujourd'hui?
Jackie: Maybe we should
have brought Jade.
Jackie: Uh... Bonjour.
My name is Jackie chan,
and this is my uncle.
We are from America,
and we are looking
for an ancient drum.
Do you have one?
French woman: Bienvenue.
Entree, entree.
Merci de venir.
Amusez-vous.
Uncle: Uncle knows that
people collect many things...
But rice?
Chopsticks?
Jackie: Wooden chopsticks.
Uncle: Carved from ancient
drumsticks, used to play
immortal drum.
Jackie: But which ones?
Drago: Chan fried rice, anyone?
Uncle: Aiiyaa!
Jackie: Drago!
Drago: I'd say it was
good to see you, chan,
but why start the day with a
big, fat lie?
Jackie: Uncle!
The chopsticks!
We will have to take them all!
French woman:
Qu'est-ce à que c'est?
Jackie: Watch out!
Uh, you know,
I never did get your name.
Uncle: Aiiyaaa!
Drago: So how would you like
your uncle to be cooked?
Rare, medium or well-done!
Jackie: Strike.
Uncle: Maybe uncle
should retire?
Drago: Dead end, old man,
in more ways than one.
(Tohru grunting)
Jade: Come on, tohru.
You need to get in shape.
No pain, no gain.
Almost there.
(Tohru grunts)
Jade: Perfect! That was one.
Way to push yourself, dude.
Eating right is cool, you dig?
If you don't,
your butt's too big.
Sorry, pal.
Think lean. But cheer up!
There's a tasty tofu Patty
back home with your name on it.
(Tohru groans)
Jackie: I don't think
I've ever been so tired.
(Yawns)
Uncle: No yawning!
We have work to do!
(Yawns)
Jackie: I know, I know.
We must find which chopsticks
contain the mountain demon chi.
(Uncle yawns)
(Grunts)
Jackie: You falling asleep!
Uncle: Stop pointing finger!
You are the one falling asleep!
Jackie: No, I am wide awake!
But you, you are doing this!
(Imitates yawn)
Uncle: Not sleeping.
Resting eyes.
But maybe tea will help
you keep yours open.
Uncle will put kettle on...
In just a minute.
(Both snoring)
(Stomach growls)
(Stomach growls)
Tohru: I heard you
the first time.
(Both snoring)
Tohru: Ohh, I hate fish...
And tofu Patty.
Mmm. Yummy pork fried rice.
No. Jade said I
should not have rice.
One bite couldn't hurt.
Jade.
Hmm.
Pretty.
(Drago growls)
Drago: I can't believe we're
back in this lame junkyard!
The space needle lair, gone!
The thunder demon chi, gone!
And any faith I ever
had that you 3 were
strong enough to beat Jackie
chan, gone!
Strikemaster ice: Yo, dude,
step off the blame game.
It wasn't our fault.
Drago: Then whose fault was it?!
Mc cobra: Yours?
Drago: You wanna guess again?
Mc cobra: Nah. I'm cool.
Drago: I'm through losing
everything to Jackie chan.
I want that mountain demon chi.
And then it's payback time.
Oh, yeah, it's gonna be something
chan's never gonna forget.
Hear what I'm sayin'?!
But first thing's first.
Strikemaster ice: Uh,
are we supposed to follow him or what?
Both: Huh?
Jade: 5 pounds?!
Uncle: Aiiyaa!
Jackie: Mommy!
Jade: How did you gain
5 pounds in 2 days?
You've been cheating on your
diet, haven't you?
Haven't you?!
You know what that means.
Tohru: No! No, please.
Not push-ups.
Jade: Drop and give me 20!
Tohru: That scale's an antique.
Perhaps it is defective.
Uncle: Nothing in uncle's
shop is defective!
(Chi-o-matic sputters)
Jackie: Make that
almost nothing.
Uncle: Detector not defective,
just temperamental.
Now hurry and dig
through the chopsticks.
We are behind schedule
because you fell asleep.
Jackie: So did you.
Uncle: Uncle merely
resting brain.
Jackie: How is it possible?
None of these chopsticks
contain the demon chi?
Uncle: Maybe you dropped pair?
Jackie: I did not drop anything.
Besides you were the
one holding the bag.
Just admit it. I'm right.
That machine of yours
has gone haywire.
Uncle: Uncle not saying yes.
Uncle not saying no.
Uncle not saying haywire.
Uncle will run test.
Happy?
Jade: You've got
to be kidding me!
7 more pounds in one day?
Don't even try to tell
me you're not cheating,
'cause I know you are!
Tohru: I may have been...
Snacking.
Jade: On what, concrete?
Uncle: Aiiyaa!
Uncle's been robbed!
Jackie: What did they take?
Ancient carvings, rare paintings?
Uncle: Bagels!
Jackie: Bagels? Jade: Bagels.
Uncle: Doughnuts, soup,
hummus, everything's gone!
Jackie: What kind of
thief steals only food?
Uncle: Hungry thief.
Calling police.
Put out apb for
uncle's cream cheese.
Jackie: Uncle,
the police don't have time
to track down your...
Jade: Besides there is no thief.
It was just tohru...
Cheating on his diet.
He's gained 7 pounds
since yesterday!
Tohru: Maybe I'm
retaining a little water.
Jade: Yeah, maybe you're
retaining the pacific ocean.
Drago: This is more like it!
The right crib.
Makes all the difference.
Strikemaster ice: Place
rocks, d-man!
Mc cobra: Yeah,
and these night vision things
are off the hook!
Drago: If you think
this is sweet,
just wait'll we bring
it to the chans!
Strikemaster ice:
Bring on the hurt...
Mc cobra: Bring on the pain!
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
so what's the plan, d-dude?
Drago: Surprise attack
on the antique shop
owned by chan's uncle.
Strikemaster ice: Cool.
Hit 'em on their own turf.
Drago: We're gonna
take down the chans,
take down section 13,
and then all the demon
chi will finally be mine!
It's gonna be my turn
to call the shots!
Strikemaster ice: For
reals, homes.
Security guard:
Hey, who's in there?
Drago: We don't need any
unnecessary heat right now.
Meeting adjourned.
Don't forget the swag.
Jackie: Uncle, it's very late.
Are you all right?
Uncle: Uncle is fine.
And so is chi detector.
Chopsticks do not have
mountain demon chi.
Jackie: Then where did it go?
Jade: I knew it.
He is so weak.
Whoa! So not nutritious.
Tohru: Food!
Jade: Aah! Aah! Jackie! Uncle!
Uncle: Why can't niece
use indoor voice?
Jade: Told ya.
It's like he's a giant trash compactor.
(Jackie gasps)
Uncle: Not trash!
Priceless antiques!
Drago: Approaching
target of opportunity.
200 yards and closing.
Continue stealth mode.
Mc cobra: Why is he
talkin' into the headset?
Yo, we're right here.
Strikemaster ice:
Dude's into protocol.
Drago: The chans will
never see this coming.
Or anything else ever again.
Take no prisoners.
Jackie: I don't know
how it happened,
but tohru must have absorbed
the mountain demon chi.
Jade: Ya think?
Uncle: Aiiyaa!
Han dynasty noodle cabinet!
Tohru, uncle's shop is not
an all you can eat buffet!
No! Stop!
Not Tibetan prayer table!
Cost uncle small fortune!
Jackie: Uncle!
Forget about the table!
We need to remove.
The demon chi from tohru.
Uncle: How about
plastic mahjong set?
Much better for digestion!
Jade: Whoa. Looks like tohru's
done with the appetizers.
Jackie: And moving on
to the main course.
Uncle: Uncle's afraid today's
special is San Francisco!
Jade: Hurry! We must remove the
mountain demon chi from tohru
before he turns the entire
city into breakfast!
All: Whaa! Hyah!
Drago: Game over, chan!
Strikemaster ice: Whoa! Looks like
somebody already crizzashed this partay!
Mc cobra: Drag.
Drago: Grrr!
I smell demon chi.
Jackie: Tohru, stop!
Jade: Whoa!
He is so gonna have heartburn.
Uncle: Too far away.
Must get closer!
Jackie: Aah!
Oh, no! Not now!
Ow!
Bad day, bad day.
Jade!
Uncle: Aiiyaa!
Jade: Aah! Aah!
Tohru: Jade.
Jade: Aah!
Drago: It's over, chan!
Your family tree is
about to be chopped down!
Strikemaster ice: Whoa!
Earthquake?
Jade: Tohru quake!
(Tohru grunting)
Tohru: Arrgh! (Snorts)
All: Aah!
Drago: Yo,
jolly green freak show!
You've got something
that belongs to me,
and I want it back!
(All grunting)
Uncle: Jackie! The blowfish!
Jackie: Whoa!
Jade, stay here.
Jade: This time, I think I will.
(Uncle chanting in Chinese)
Jackie: Uncle!
Wait!
If you remove the mountain
demon chi from tohru,
he will be crushed!
Jackie: No! Tohru!
Tohru: Ugh!
Drago: Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
(Uncle chanting in Chinese)
Drago: No!
Drago: You're
gonna pay for that!
Uncle: Uncle doesn't have cash.
How about I.O.U.?
(Chanting in Chinese)
Drago: Aah!
(Uncle chanting)
Tohru: Ugh! What's happening?
Jackie: Uncle is trying to
remove drago's fire power.
Jade: Yes!
(Uncle chanting)
Drago: Aghh!
Ugh!
My fire power!
This isn't over!
Jackie: Actually...
I think it is.
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
don't sweat it, d-man.
We got your back!
Jade: Ooh! Uncle really put
drago's fire breath on ice!
Jackie: And now.
- Section 13 will finally have
all the demon chi
powers under control.
(Tohru burping)
Tohru: Ooh, sorry.
Must've been something I ate.
Jade: Yeah, well,
I hope you enjoyed your little binge,
'cause from here on out,
I have 2 words for you.
Celery sticks.
And don't think that just because
you saved us and everything
you get to skip your workout tomorrow,
'cause that's not gonna happen.
Tohru: Unhh!
Jade: Hey, Jackie,
have you ever flown a plane?
Jackie: Actually, I did.
Not the commercial one,
of course, the private jet,
with the pilot and the
copilot let me to drive.
But I'd really like
to learn helicopter.
Jade: That's it, big guy.
Only 2 more miles.
Tohru: Oh, I can't...
I can't make it.
Jade: Can't isn't
in our vocabulary.
Feel the burn!
(Tohru groans)
Uncle: Aiiyaa!
Jackie!
Jade: What is it, uncle?
Uncle: A drum!
The immortal relic
used to defeat po Kong,
the mountain demon.
Demon chi has been activated!
Jackie: Canada.
Stone walls. Must be Quebec.
It's a walled city.
We'd better move quickly.
After losing the
thunder demon chi,
drago will be more
determined than ever.
(Tohru breathing heavily)
Jade: Going somewhere?
Jackie: Canada.
The mountain demon chi is in Quebec.
Jade: Cool!
I can practice my French.
Croissant, crepe,
creme brulee, baguette.
Tohru: Mmm! Baguette.
Jade: No baguette, tohru!
Think lean and mean protein.
No bread, no pasta, no
rice, no cookies, no cake.
Jackie: No Quebec.
And no argument.
You have a big math test tomorrow.
Remember?
You stay here with tohru.
Jade: Aww. Tohru: Ugh!
(Chi-o-matic sputtering)
Jackie: Is it broken?
Uncle: Not anymore.
Jackie: "Ancient rice and
artifacts collection?"
Rice? I thought we were
searching for a drum.
Maybe that thing is broken.
Maybe it's that new
containment jar.
Uncle: Since when are
you the big-time expert?
New containment
jar not a problem.
Uncle made so device can hold
more than one demon chi at once.
Does not affect the
way detector works.
Now knock.
French woman: Bonjour.
Comment allez-vous
à aujourd'hui?
Jackie: Maybe we should
have brought Jade.
Jackie: Uh... Bonjour.
My name is Jackie chan,
and this is my uncle.
We are from America,
and we are looking
for an ancient drum.
Do you have one?
French woman: Bienvenue.
Entree, entree.
Merci de venir.
Amusez-vous.
Uncle: Uncle knows that
people collect many things...
But rice?
Chopsticks?
Jackie: Wooden chopsticks.
Uncle: Carved from ancient
drumsticks, used to play
immortal drum.
Jackie: But which ones?
Drago: Chan fried rice, anyone?
Uncle: Aiiyaa!
Jackie: Drago!
Drago: I'd say it was
good to see you, chan,
but why start the day with a
big, fat lie?
Jackie: Uncle!
The chopsticks!
We will have to take them all!
French woman:
Qu'est-ce à que c'est?
Jackie: Watch out!
Uh, you know,
I never did get your name.
Uncle: Aiiyaaa!
Drago: So how would you like
your uncle to be cooked?
Rare, medium or well-done!
Jackie: Strike.
Uncle: Maybe uncle
should retire?
Drago: Dead end, old man,
in more ways than one.
(Tohru grunting)
Jade: Come on, tohru.
You need to get in shape.
No pain, no gain.
Almost there.
(Tohru grunts)
Jade: Perfect! That was one.
Way to push yourself, dude.
Eating right is cool, you dig?
If you don't,
your butt's too big.
Sorry, pal.
Think lean. But cheer up!
There's a tasty tofu Patty
back home with your name on it.
(Tohru groans)
Jackie: I don't think
I've ever been so tired.
(Yawns)
Uncle: No yawning!
We have work to do!
(Yawns)
Jackie: I know, I know.
We must find which chopsticks
contain the mountain demon chi.
(Uncle yawns)
(Grunts)
Jackie: You falling asleep!
Uncle: Stop pointing finger!
You are the one falling asleep!
Jackie: No, I am wide awake!
But you, you are doing this!
(Imitates yawn)
Uncle: Not sleeping.
Resting eyes.
But maybe tea will help
you keep yours open.
Uncle will put kettle on...
In just a minute.
(Both snoring)
(Stomach growls)
(Stomach growls)
Tohru: I heard you
the first time.
(Both snoring)
Tohru: Ohh, I hate fish...
And tofu Patty.
Mmm. Yummy pork fried rice.
No. Jade said I
should not have rice.
One bite couldn't hurt.
Jade.
Hmm.
Pretty.
(Drago growls)
Drago: I can't believe we're
back in this lame junkyard!
The space needle lair, gone!
The thunder demon chi, gone!
And any faith I ever
had that you 3 were
strong enough to beat Jackie
chan, gone!
Strikemaster ice: Yo, dude,
step off the blame game.
It wasn't our fault.
Drago: Then whose fault was it?!
Mc cobra: Yours?
Drago: You wanna guess again?
Mc cobra: Nah. I'm cool.
Drago: I'm through losing
everything to Jackie chan.
I want that mountain demon chi.
And then it's payback time.
Oh, yeah, it's gonna be something
chan's never gonna forget.
Hear what I'm sayin'?!
But first thing's first.
Strikemaster ice: Uh,
are we supposed to follow him or what?
Both: Huh?
Jade: 5 pounds?!
Uncle: Aiiyaa!
Jackie: Mommy!
Jade: How did you gain
5 pounds in 2 days?
You've been cheating on your
diet, haven't you?
Haven't you?!
You know what that means.
Tohru: No! No, please.
Not push-ups.
Jade: Drop and give me 20!
Tohru: That scale's an antique.
Perhaps it is defective.
Uncle: Nothing in uncle's
shop is defective!
(Chi-o-matic sputters)
Jackie: Make that
almost nothing.
Uncle: Detector not defective,
just temperamental.
Now hurry and dig
through the chopsticks.
We are behind schedule
because you fell asleep.
Jackie: So did you.
Uncle: Uncle merely
resting brain.
Jackie: How is it possible?
None of these chopsticks
contain the demon chi?
Uncle: Maybe you dropped pair?
Jackie: I did not drop anything.
Besides you were the
one holding the bag.
Just admit it. I'm right.
That machine of yours
has gone haywire.
Uncle: Uncle not saying yes.
Uncle not saying no.
Uncle not saying haywire.
Uncle will run test.
Happy?
Jade: You've got
to be kidding me!
7 more pounds in one day?
Don't even try to tell
me you're not cheating,
'cause I know you are!
Tohru: I may have been...
Snacking.
Jade: On what, concrete?
Uncle: Aiiyaa!
Uncle's been robbed!
Jackie: What did they take?
Ancient carvings, rare paintings?
Uncle: Bagels!
Jackie: Bagels? Jade: Bagels.
Uncle: Doughnuts, soup,
hummus, everything's gone!
Jackie: What kind of
thief steals only food?
Uncle: Hungry thief.
Calling police.
Put out apb for
uncle's cream cheese.
Jackie: Uncle,
the police don't have time
to track down your...
Jade: Besides there is no thief.
It was just tohru...
Cheating on his diet.
He's gained 7 pounds
since yesterday!
Tohru: Maybe I'm
retaining a little water.
Jade: Yeah, maybe you're
retaining the pacific ocean.
Drago: This is more like it!
The right crib.
Makes all the difference.
Strikemaster ice: Place
rocks, d-man!
Mc cobra: Yeah,
and these night vision things
are off the hook!
Drago: If you think
this is sweet,
just wait'll we bring
it to the chans!
Strikemaster ice:
Bring on the hurt...
Mc cobra: Bring on the pain!
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
so what's the plan, d-dude?
Drago: Surprise attack
on the antique shop
owned by chan's uncle.
Strikemaster ice: Cool.
Hit 'em on their own turf.
Drago: We're gonna
take down the chans,
take down section 13,
and then all the demon
chi will finally be mine!
It's gonna be my turn
to call the shots!
Strikemaster ice: For
reals, homes.
Security guard:
Hey, who's in there?
Drago: We don't need any
unnecessary heat right now.
Meeting adjourned.
Don't forget the swag.
Jackie: Uncle, it's very late.
Are you all right?
Uncle: Uncle is fine.
And so is chi detector.
Chopsticks do not have
mountain demon chi.
Jackie: Then where did it go?
Jade: I knew it.
He is so weak.
Whoa! So not nutritious.
Tohru: Food!
Jade: Aah! Aah! Jackie! Uncle!
Uncle: Why can't niece
use indoor voice?
Jade: Told ya.
It's like he's a giant trash compactor.
(Jackie gasps)
Uncle: Not trash!
Priceless antiques!
Drago: Approaching
target of opportunity.
200 yards and closing.
Continue stealth mode.
Mc cobra: Why is he
talkin' into the headset?
Yo, we're right here.
Strikemaster ice:
Dude's into protocol.
Drago: The chans will
never see this coming.
Or anything else ever again.
Take no prisoners.
Jackie: I don't know
how it happened,
but tohru must have absorbed
the mountain demon chi.
Jade: Ya think?
Uncle: Aiiyaa!
Han dynasty noodle cabinet!
Tohru, uncle's shop is not
an all you can eat buffet!
No! Stop!
Not Tibetan prayer table!
Cost uncle small fortune!
Jackie: Uncle!
Forget about the table!
We need to remove.
The demon chi from tohru.
Uncle: How about
plastic mahjong set?
Much better for digestion!
Jade: Whoa. Looks like tohru's
done with the appetizers.
Jackie: And moving on
to the main course.
Uncle: Uncle's afraid today's
special is San Francisco!
Jade: Hurry! We must remove the
mountain demon chi from tohru
before he turns the entire
city into breakfast!
All: Whaa! Hyah!
Drago: Game over, chan!
Strikemaster ice: Whoa! Looks like
somebody already crizzashed this partay!
Mc cobra: Drag.
Drago: Grrr!
I smell demon chi.
Jackie: Tohru, stop!
Jade: Whoa!
He is so gonna have heartburn.
Uncle: Too far away.
Must get closer!
Jackie: Aah!
Oh, no! Not now!
Ow!
Bad day, bad day.
Jade!
Uncle: Aiiyaa!
Jade: Aah! Aah!
Tohru: Jade.
Jade: Aah!
Drago: It's over, chan!
Your family tree is
about to be chopped down!
Strikemaster ice: Whoa!
Earthquake?
Jade: Tohru quake!
(Tohru grunting)
Tohru: Arrgh! (Snorts)
All: Aah!
Drago: Yo,
jolly green freak show!
You've got something
that belongs to me,
and I want it back!
(All grunting)
Uncle: Jackie! The blowfish!
Jackie: Whoa!
Jade, stay here.
Jade: This time, I think I will.
(Uncle chanting in Chinese)
Jackie: Uncle!
Wait!
If you remove the mountain
demon chi from tohru,
he will be crushed!
Jackie: No! Tohru!
Tohru: Ugh!
Drago: Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
(Uncle chanting in Chinese)
Drago: No!
Drago: You're
gonna pay for that!
Uncle: Uncle doesn't have cash.
How about I.O.U.?
(Chanting in Chinese)
Drago: Aah!
(Uncle chanting)
Tohru: Ugh! What's happening?
Jackie: Uncle is trying to
remove drago's fire power.
Jade: Yes!
(Uncle chanting)
Drago: Aghh!
Ugh!
My fire power!
This isn't over!
Jackie: Actually...
I think it is.
Strikemaster ice: Yo,
don't sweat it, d-man.
We got your back!
Jade: Ooh! Uncle really put
drago's fire breath on ice!
Jackie: And now.
- Section 13 will finally have
all the demon chi
powers under control.
(Tohru burping)
Tohru: Ooh, sorry.
Must've been something I ate.
Jade: Yeah, well,
I hope you enjoyed your little binge,
'cause from here on out,
I have 2 words for you.
Celery sticks.
And don't think that just because
you saved us and everything
you get to skip your workout tomorrow,
'cause that's not gonna happen.
Tohru: Unhh!
Jade: Hey, Jackie,
have you ever flown a plane?
Jackie: Actually, I did.
Not the commercial one,
of course, the private jet,
with the pilot and the
copilot let me to drive.
But I'd really like
to learn helicopter.