Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005): Season 4, Episode 2 - Samurai Ratso - full transcript
The Chan clan head to Tokyo to locate an Oni mask. They learn that they have to adopt new methods to defeat each mask.
I am the one and only
king of the shadowkhan.
(Gasps) Oni.
My mother told me
tales of the oni...
Hideous horned demons.
Tarakudo: It was from this mask
that shendu drew the power to
control his shadowkhan army.
Tohru: Ancient warriors once
cast a spell to defeat this oni.
The key ingredient
was Japanese steel.
Tarakudo's reign came to an end
when the spirits of his generals
were trapped within masks.
9 general... 9 masks.
9 different tribes
of shadowkhan?
Whoa.
"Captain black,"
"do not allow anyone
to wear this mask."
Jackie: Please lock it
in the vault immediately.
Jade, uncle, tohru,
and I are currently in Tokyo, Japan,
where we hope to discover a lead
to the location of
the next oni mask.
Karaoke break, anyone?
Jade, the first rule of
research is Patience.
Uncle: Can you not read
faster, tohru?
Cobwebs are forming on uncle!
My Japanese is rusty, sensei.
Hmmhh! At this rate,
new forces of darkness
will locate 8 other masks
before we leave room!
(Jade shouts)
Jade!
Why do research
when you can come on down to
the oni mask superstore!
Oni!
Until a cursed one is worn,
these are merely masks.
Then why do I have a strange,
clammy feeling down my spine?
You...
Have the willies?
Usually a pretty good sign
that the king of all
oni is in the house!
Tarakudo! Tarakudo!
(Shuddering) Ohhh!
Henchmen!
Lend a hand, won't you,
and fetch the mask.
Ratso: Uh...
Which mask?
The magic one!
No! Stop!
Nope. Nope.
No. That's not it.
Nuh-uh. Ho ho.
Nah. Nope. That's not it.
Nope. Nope.
Jade: Hands off!
Quickly, tohru!
We most devise locator spell
so we may find mask
before they do!
Back! Back!
Easy. You could chop
someone's head off with that.
What are you doing?!
Uh... Lookin' for the mask?
Try this fellow.
Hak foo: Kangaroo hop!
Nice grab.
Ratso: Gotcha!
Huh?
Heee-yah!
Ratso: Ooh!
Oopsy.
(Groaning)
Ohhh...
Whoa.
Oh, I wanted that mask!
Ow!
Too late for locator spell.
We need mask removal spell.
Good thing Japanese
steel ingredient
very handy this time.
Oh, man! I feel like...
Summoning shadowkhan?
Yeahhhh!
So... Do I just yell for
'em, or what?
You must feel the power, ratso.
Call upon the darkness within.
Oh, ok. I got it.
Uhh! No! No feeling! No calling!
Gohh... uhh!
Come on, shadowkhan!
(Gasps)
Unhh!
Whoa!
Sweet.
Go, ratso!
9 masks...
9 different tribes
of shadowkhan.
Uncle, how is
your mask removal spell coming?
All done.
Aiiyee!
The sword did not work, sensei.
It must be wrong ingredient.
Each mask must require
a unique removal spell!
Which do we need to
remove this mask?
You are Japanese expert!
That is your department!
Ahem.
Oh. Right.
Make papa proud!
You hit him high,
Jackie, I'll hit him low.
Awpp!
D-uhh!
Uhh!
Uhhh! Uhh...?
Uhh!
Aah!
Come. Let us seek more masks
while ratso summons
more shadowkhan.
Hah hah hah hah!
The more, the scarier.
Urrrhhh!
D-eeeee!
Uncle: Oh, Mr. ninja!
Eat chi magic!
Uncle's regular magic
does not work on
these new shadowkhan!
We must devise new stun spell.
Uhh! Euhh! Uhh!
(Metal clang)
Heh. Sayonara.
Jackie! Sensei! Run!
Come on, come on, come on!
Ooowahh!
Darkness within.
Darkness within.
Darkness within.
Unhh! - Uhh! - Uhh!
Ohhhhh...
Boy...
Yes! I am good!
Get chan!
Huh?
Ohh... Grab on!
D-uhhh...
Yaahhh! Aaahhh!
Tohru: Aaahhh... Uhh!
P-uhhh.
I hate fish.
Ratso: Hey!
Where'd everybody go?
Tarakudo: A job well done, boys.
For our next trick...
Whoo-o-o-o!
Whoa. Are you all right?
What is it, big kahuna?
I think I...
Have the willies.
Sensei...
The scroll speaks
of the legendary Hana-fuda...
An ancient deck of cards.
My mommy told me of these
cards when I was young.
Phewww! More fairy tales.
Cards not important!
But legend indicates that
the cards are magic...
And may point the way to
the remaining oni masks.
I am telling you,
cards not important!
Tohru?
Let me guess.
Your old pal Willie?
So...
Hoping to find the
Hana-fuda cards?
Well, I can't let you do that!
Ok...
Maybe cards important.
Back!
Onion?
Do not be foolish, tohru.
Use garlic.
Whoa! Easy with that
veggie, big fella.
Aaahh! My eyes!
It does work!
I think it is checkout time.
Rahhhhhh!
Mommy always told me
onions keep the oni away.
I used to sleep with
one under my pillow.
You da man, t! You da man!
Yes... He is.
The best thing
about makin' your
own team of ninjas?
Is makin' enough for 2 teams!
Ratso: Ooh, high fly!
If I wore the mask,
all of Japan would be
under my rule by now!
Oh, ball boy...
Ohhh... Get it yourself.
You don't want to
spoil our fun...
Do you, hak foo?
Tarakudo: Ratso!
Gather your shadow minions.
You must see to
it Mr. chan fails
to acquire a certain...
Deck of cards.
Let the games begin.
We must take the
train to matsue.
The Hana-fuda cards are housed
in an ancient shrine there.
Legend indicates that the
cards contain the spells
which originally
defeated the oni.
Handy-dandy mask removal action.
Oh, uncle,
that is not our train.
It is mine.
Uncle must go to airport now.
What?
Why?
Bein' away from shop for so long
makes me... Nervous?
Uncle...
(Sighs)
I am only getting in your way.
Tohru has knowledge
of Japanese legends...
Which uncle does not.
Tohru gets willies from oni,
which uncle does not.
Tohru knows tricks
with vegetables,
which uncle...
I require your guidance.
I offer you my confidence.
Jade, go with uncle.
Ohhh...
Jade: I miss him already.
Jade!
I told you to go with uncle,
not stay with... Uncle.
Tch! No wonder I got confused.
Too many uncles.
Ratso: All aboard...
The shadowkhan express!
Gonna make you cry, demon boy.
(Munching)
Mmm, mmm. Yummy.
Uh, ratso is still part human,
and his human side likes onions?
Quick! Inside!
Darkness within,
darkness within,
darkness within,
darkness within...
You have a train to catch!
Huhh! Uhh!
Unhh!
Heyyy-yuhh!
Uuurrrhhhh!
Uncle told me to devise
a new stun spell...
So I did.
This is it.
That's a shrine?
If it was, it is a factory now.
Wait.
This kanji meaning Hana-fuda...
Is also the factory logo.
Jackie: Hello!
Anybody here?
Oh. You do not work here.
Uh, maybe you can help us, sir.
We are looking for some...
Cards.
Hana-fuda cards?
Those would be the ones.
Thus, the cards were handed
down from my ancestors.
As you can see,
I based my company logo
on the Hana-fuda kanji.
So... Why are you so interested
in my family's deck of cards?
Are you familiar with... Oni?
Of course.
My grandmother would read me stories
when I was a child. Why?
Some very bad oni
know of your cards.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
(Laughing) Oni are not real.
They are stuff of
children's tales.
What is it?
The girl...
Her shadow.
Uh-oh.
Hiya.
Oni! (Sobbing) Ohhh!
Ohhhhh!
Take the cards! They are yours!
Hand them over!
Here you go.
Oh, gee, thanks.
Hey!
Sorry I would not return them.
Thank you.
Get those cards!
The old fake hand-off.
A mask removal spell
is the only way
to stop ratso's
shadowkhan for good.
They're all blank?
Did the scroll say
anything about how to play?
No.
Then we need to figure
out how to play...
Fast.
(Grunting and shouting)
Hmm.
Hooahh!
D-ohh!
D-ohhhh!
D-ohh.
Aaahh!
Bye-bye! Drive safely!
Uhhh!
D-oohh! D-oohh! Uhh! D-oohh!
Uh... Gin rummy?
How about... Crazy 8s?
Whoa! Look!
It's showing us the mask!
But we already know that part.
This one's telling
us where to find...
Er, where we found it.
And... For a lifetime
supply of grape soda...
The mask removal
spell ingredient is...
Tohru: Japanese silk.
You mean like in a kimono?
Where can we find a
kimono at this time of...
Game... Over.
Ohhhh!
Leave him alone, you bully!
Tohru didn't invite
me to play cards.
You can play my favorite...
Go fish.
Hel-lo.
Uncle!
Hmm.
Very good stun spell.
Yeah?
Well, I got more ninja bad boys
where they came from. Mmhh!
Unhhh... Hhh!
D-ohh! Ooh!
Uncle! You're back!
Only because I realized
I do not have keys to shop!
(Keys jingle)
Oops. (Chuckles embarrassedly
keys not important now!
Did you discover ingredient
for mask removal spell?
Japanese silk?
Blended wool and polyester!
Uncle does not wear clothes
of movie star or male model!
Or...
President of car company?
Ruhh! Uhh! Uhh! Uhh! Ohh!
Uhh! Uhhhh!
Uhhh! Juhh!
(Chanting)
(Chanting)
Hey!
Urrrhhh!
Uhhh! Gahh!
G-uhh! G-uhh!
Ohhh! Gahh! G-uhh!
Uhhh...
Yes!
Ohhh...
(Stupidly) I was havin'
the weirdest dream.
Waaahhh!
Yaaahhh!
Oh! Ooh! Ooh! My turn at bat!
It would appear chan
possesses the cards,
since you no longer
possess horns!
Ohhh...
Yeah.
(Chuckles embarrassedly)
Two down...
7 to go.
Well...
Anyone up for some slapjack?
Sensei, what will keep tarakudo
from penetrating the vault?
Urrrrhhh!
Uhhh!
Ohhh...
Aahh!
My eyes!
My eyes!
Oni magic cannot
defeat onion magic.
A little trick I learned
from my...
Apprentice.
Jade: Hey, Jackie,
do you play baseball?
Of course I like baseball.
You know what?
I'm the honorable
chairman baseball captain
in Hong Kong.
Uh, I do play baseball,
but I'm...
actually, I'm not really good,
because when I look at
TV, it just easy.
But you really try to hit
it, it's difficult.
I love... Baseball.
king of the shadowkhan.
(Gasps) Oni.
My mother told me
tales of the oni...
Hideous horned demons.
Tarakudo: It was from this mask
that shendu drew the power to
control his shadowkhan army.
Tohru: Ancient warriors once
cast a spell to defeat this oni.
The key ingredient
was Japanese steel.
Tarakudo's reign came to an end
when the spirits of his generals
were trapped within masks.
9 general... 9 masks.
9 different tribes
of shadowkhan?
Whoa.
"Captain black,"
"do not allow anyone
to wear this mask."
Jackie: Please lock it
in the vault immediately.
Jade, uncle, tohru,
and I are currently in Tokyo, Japan,
where we hope to discover a lead
to the location of
the next oni mask.
Karaoke break, anyone?
Jade, the first rule of
research is Patience.
Uncle: Can you not read
faster, tohru?
Cobwebs are forming on uncle!
My Japanese is rusty, sensei.
Hmmhh! At this rate,
new forces of darkness
will locate 8 other masks
before we leave room!
(Jade shouts)
Jade!
Why do research
when you can come on down to
the oni mask superstore!
Oni!
Until a cursed one is worn,
these are merely masks.
Then why do I have a strange,
clammy feeling down my spine?
You...
Have the willies?
Usually a pretty good sign
that the king of all
oni is in the house!
Tarakudo! Tarakudo!
(Shuddering) Ohhh!
Henchmen!
Lend a hand, won't you,
and fetch the mask.
Ratso: Uh...
Which mask?
The magic one!
No! Stop!
Nope. Nope.
No. That's not it.
Nuh-uh. Ho ho.
Nah. Nope. That's not it.
Nope. Nope.
Jade: Hands off!
Quickly, tohru!
We most devise locator spell
so we may find mask
before they do!
Back! Back!
Easy. You could chop
someone's head off with that.
What are you doing?!
Uh... Lookin' for the mask?
Try this fellow.
Hak foo: Kangaroo hop!
Nice grab.
Ratso: Gotcha!
Huh?
Heee-yah!
Ratso: Ooh!
Oopsy.
(Groaning)
Ohhh...
Whoa.
Oh, I wanted that mask!
Ow!
Too late for locator spell.
We need mask removal spell.
Good thing Japanese
steel ingredient
very handy this time.
Oh, man! I feel like...
Summoning shadowkhan?
Yeahhhh!
So... Do I just yell for
'em, or what?
You must feel the power, ratso.
Call upon the darkness within.
Oh, ok. I got it.
Uhh! No! No feeling! No calling!
Gohh... uhh!
Come on, shadowkhan!
(Gasps)
Unhh!
Whoa!
Sweet.
Go, ratso!
9 masks...
9 different tribes
of shadowkhan.
Uncle, how is
your mask removal spell coming?
All done.
Aiiyee!
The sword did not work, sensei.
It must be wrong ingredient.
Each mask must require
a unique removal spell!
Which do we need to
remove this mask?
You are Japanese expert!
That is your department!
Ahem.
Oh. Right.
Make papa proud!
You hit him high,
Jackie, I'll hit him low.
Awpp!
D-uhh!
Uhh!
Uhhh! Uhh...?
Uhh!
Aah!
Come. Let us seek more masks
while ratso summons
more shadowkhan.
Hah hah hah hah!
The more, the scarier.
Urrrhhh!
D-eeeee!
Uncle: Oh, Mr. ninja!
Eat chi magic!
Uncle's regular magic
does not work on
these new shadowkhan!
We must devise new stun spell.
Uhh! Euhh! Uhh!
(Metal clang)
Heh. Sayonara.
Jackie! Sensei! Run!
Come on, come on, come on!
Ooowahh!
Darkness within.
Darkness within.
Darkness within.
Unhh! - Uhh! - Uhh!
Ohhhhh...
Boy...
Yes! I am good!
Get chan!
Huh?
Ohh... Grab on!
D-uhhh...
Yaahhh! Aaahhh!
Tohru: Aaahhh... Uhh!
P-uhhh.
I hate fish.
Ratso: Hey!
Where'd everybody go?
Tarakudo: A job well done, boys.
For our next trick...
Whoo-o-o-o!
Whoa. Are you all right?
What is it, big kahuna?
I think I...
Have the willies.
Sensei...
The scroll speaks
of the legendary Hana-fuda...
An ancient deck of cards.
My mommy told me of these
cards when I was young.
Phewww! More fairy tales.
Cards not important!
But legend indicates that
the cards are magic...
And may point the way to
the remaining oni masks.
I am telling you,
cards not important!
Tohru?
Let me guess.
Your old pal Willie?
So...
Hoping to find the
Hana-fuda cards?
Well, I can't let you do that!
Ok...
Maybe cards important.
Back!
Onion?
Do not be foolish, tohru.
Use garlic.
Whoa! Easy with that
veggie, big fella.
Aaahh! My eyes!
It does work!
I think it is checkout time.
Rahhhhhh!
Mommy always told me
onions keep the oni away.
I used to sleep with
one under my pillow.
You da man, t! You da man!
Yes... He is.
The best thing
about makin' your
own team of ninjas?
Is makin' enough for 2 teams!
Ratso: Ooh, high fly!
If I wore the mask,
all of Japan would be
under my rule by now!
Oh, ball boy...
Ohhh... Get it yourself.
You don't want to
spoil our fun...
Do you, hak foo?
Tarakudo: Ratso!
Gather your shadow minions.
You must see to
it Mr. chan fails
to acquire a certain...
Deck of cards.
Let the games begin.
We must take the
train to matsue.
The Hana-fuda cards are housed
in an ancient shrine there.
Legend indicates that the
cards contain the spells
which originally
defeated the oni.
Handy-dandy mask removal action.
Oh, uncle,
that is not our train.
It is mine.
Uncle must go to airport now.
What?
Why?
Bein' away from shop for so long
makes me... Nervous?
Uncle...
(Sighs)
I am only getting in your way.
Tohru has knowledge
of Japanese legends...
Which uncle does not.
Tohru gets willies from oni,
which uncle does not.
Tohru knows tricks
with vegetables,
which uncle...
I require your guidance.
I offer you my confidence.
Jade, go with uncle.
Ohhh...
Jade: I miss him already.
Jade!
I told you to go with uncle,
not stay with... Uncle.
Tch! No wonder I got confused.
Too many uncles.
Ratso: All aboard...
The shadowkhan express!
Gonna make you cry, demon boy.
(Munching)
Mmm, mmm. Yummy.
Uh, ratso is still part human,
and his human side likes onions?
Quick! Inside!
Darkness within,
darkness within,
darkness within,
darkness within...
You have a train to catch!
Huhh! Uhh!
Unhh!
Heyyy-yuhh!
Uuurrrhhhh!
Uncle told me to devise
a new stun spell...
So I did.
This is it.
That's a shrine?
If it was, it is a factory now.
Wait.
This kanji meaning Hana-fuda...
Is also the factory logo.
Jackie: Hello!
Anybody here?
Oh. You do not work here.
Uh, maybe you can help us, sir.
We are looking for some...
Cards.
Hana-fuda cards?
Those would be the ones.
Thus, the cards were handed
down from my ancestors.
As you can see,
I based my company logo
on the Hana-fuda kanji.
So... Why are you so interested
in my family's deck of cards?
Are you familiar with... Oni?
Of course.
My grandmother would read me stories
when I was a child. Why?
Some very bad oni
know of your cards.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
(Laughing) Oni are not real.
They are stuff of
children's tales.
What is it?
The girl...
Her shadow.
Uh-oh.
Hiya.
Oni! (Sobbing) Ohhh!
Ohhhhh!
Take the cards! They are yours!
Hand them over!
Here you go.
Oh, gee, thanks.
Hey!
Sorry I would not return them.
Thank you.
Get those cards!
The old fake hand-off.
A mask removal spell
is the only way
to stop ratso's
shadowkhan for good.
They're all blank?
Did the scroll say
anything about how to play?
No.
Then we need to figure
out how to play...
Fast.
(Grunting and shouting)
Hmm.
Hooahh!
D-ohh!
D-ohhhh!
D-ohh.
Aaahh!
Bye-bye! Drive safely!
Uhhh!
D-oohh! D-oohh! Uhh! D-oohh!
Uh... Gin rummy?
How about... Crazy 8s?
Whoa! Look!
It's showing us the mask!
But we already know that part.
This one's telling
us where to find...
Er, where we found it.
And... For a lifetime
supply of grape soda...
The mask removal
spell ingredient is...
Tohru: Japanese silk.
You mean like in a kimono?
Where can we find a
kimono at this time of...
Game... Over.
Ohhhh!
Leave him alone, you bully!
Tohru didn't invite
me to play cards.
You can play my favorite...
Go fish.
Hel-lo.
Uncle!
Hmm.
Very good stun spell.
Yeah?
Well, I got more ninja bad boys
where they came from. Mmhh!
Unhhh... Hhh!
D-ohh! Ooh!
Uncle! You're back!
Only because I realized
I do not have keys to shop!
(Keys jingle)
Oops. (Chuckles embarrassedly
keys not important now!
Did you discover ingredient
for mask removal spell?
Japanese silk?
Blended wool and polyester!
Uncle does not wear clothes
of movie star or male model!
Or...
President of car company?
Ruhh! Uhh! Uhh! Uhh! Ohh!
Uhh! Uhhhh!
Uhhh! Juhh!
(Chanting)
(Chanting)
Hey!
Urrrhhh!
Uhhh! Gahh!
G-uhh! G-uhh!
Ohhh! Gahh! G-uhh!
Uhhh...
Yes!
Ohhh...
(Stupidly) I was havin'
the weirdest dream.
Waaahhh!
Yaaahhh!
Oh! Ooh! Ooh! My turn at bat!
It would appear chan
possesses the cards,
since you no longer
possess horns!
Ohhh...
Yeah.
(Chuckles embarrassedly)
Two down...
7 to go.
Well...
Anyone up for some slapjack?
Sensei, what will keep tarakudo
from penetrating the vault?
Urrrrhhh!
Uhhh!
Ohhh...
Aahh!
My eyes!
My eyes!
Oni magic cannot
defeat onion magic.
A little trick I learned
from my...
Apprentice.
Jade: Hey, Jackie,
do you play baseball?
Of course I like baseball.
You know what?
I'm the honorable
chairman baseball captain
in Hong Kong.
Uh, I do play baseball,
but I'm...
actually, I'm not really good,
because when I look at
TV, it just easy.
But you really try to hit
it, it's difficult.
I love... Baseball.