Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005): Season 3, Episode 9 - The Invisible Mom - full transcript
The Chans look for the snake in India. Tohru's mother visits him.
Now I see why they call
this place bizarre.
Jade, it is a bazaar.
Anywhere grown men play with
baby toys is bizarre in my book.
Uncle is not playing.
This rattle's filled with the
enchanted teeth of mongoose,
which will lead us to the snake,
which possesses the
power of invisibility.
Do you think our search
will take long, sensei?
(Rattling) Oh! No. I do not.
(Rattling)
The snake we seek
must be within.
Jackie, take basket!
Oh!
Do not even breathe.
Cobras are very poisonous.
I know.
They say you can hypnotize 'em
by looking right
into their eyes.
Jade!
(Rattling)
Ugg! Uncle!
But not our snake.
Put basket down.
Ugg. How?
Quickly, of course.
We must find real snake
before dark forces arrive.
Ahh!
Aah!
Huh?
(Hiss)
Ow.
You!
Billy goat!
Uh, mommy!
Whoa! Mrs. t?
What brings you
to bizarr-o world?
And when are you leaving?
Mother, what a coincidence
bumping into you all
the way in India.
Coincidence?
You invited me!
Uh-oh.
Tohru!
You did not tell uncle
you invited spider woman!
(Moans)
See? Even Jackie moans with
displeasure at her arrival.
Uh, Jackie?
Are you all right?
Jackie,
how many fingers do you see?
(Groaning)
(Gasps) Jackie has
been bitten by snake.
Well, what a co-inky-dink.
We're looking for a snake.
These strange men,
they appeared out of thin air.
They used to be men.
Now they're card-carrying members
of the forces of darkness.
Stop them, tohru!
Yarrgg... ulp.
My baby will not fight
forces of darkness!
(Laughs) Hear that?
Yeah. Tohru's mommy won't
let him come out and play.
Heh heh.
Maybe he needs his diaper changed.
(All laugh)
Hohhh!
Stop them, Jackie!
Eh, hello.
Jackie!
Heh heh. That's called the
slippery cobra technique.
Whoa.
I'm not sure who's dizzier.
Chan or me?
Maybe we should get
Jackie to a doctor.
We must find snake
before dark forces do,
then uncle will cure Jackie.
Do not worry. I once saw television
program about cobra poisoning.
Jackie only in stage one.
Very slight dryness of mouth.
(Wheezes)
(Jackie wheezing)
Wa... Ter...
Must have... Water.
Wa... Ter.
Thank you.
Yarrr... Matey!
Stage 2?
Stark-raving madness.
Shiver me timbers! Yo ho ho!
(Humming popeye theme)
Luckily stage 2 very brief.
Do not understand.
Locator spell was warm
near first basket.
Now it is cold.
(Rattle)
(Gasps)
The magic snake!
Oh, look! It is getting away!
And so are we!
See ya.
Uncle,
if daolon wong gets the snake,
he'll have the power of...
Shh!
The talisman power
of invisibility
lies within the
snake within the egg.
(Rattling)
Uncle, you so sly.
Do not tell your mother.
She has big mouth, and dark forces
must not discover the truth.
It is best if we treat Jackie
before onset of stage 3.
What happens in stage 3?
(Moans)
Jackie lies
motionless on ground.
Jackie needs root
of Willow tree.
Yes, Willow tree perfect,
if Jackie had chapped lips.
Then what does madam
tarantula recommend?
Sycamore sap.
Jackie does not
have athlete's foot.
Must use garlic.
Too much garlic!
No such thing too much garlic.
Uncle knew you were vampire.
Grrr. Junk seller!
Oh, blood sucker!
Jade: Hey... It's working!
Hello.
Good thing I was here to help.
What kind of uncle are you?
I would never let my
tohru play with snakes.
Mother, please.
There is no need to
be so overprotective.
Overprotective?
Mother is not overprotective!
You must eat.
It is past lunchtime.
Yes, mother.
I am feeling much better.
Thank you.
Of course you are,
thanks to my remedies.
Mine!
No, mine! No, mine!
No, mine. Mine!
Mine! Mine!
Ah! You yell too much.
Gives me headache.
I am going to bed.
You are old yeller.
And that is uncle's room.
Billy goat's suitcase on my bed?
He has no respect for
other people's things.
(Sniffs)
Garlic, fahh!
Bad for snake bite,
but good for headache.
Ahh...
Essence of snake
eggshell even better.
Mmm...
Ahh, headache disappearing.
Ah, head feeling much... (Gasps)
Where is my head?
Ohh!
Some kind of magic.
A trick!
Billy goat did this to me!
He will pay!
Mother means well,
but sometimes I think she
forgets that I am a grown man.
Uh, very grown.
When she gets in your face,
tell her to give you some space.
She would just take
it the wrong way.
(Sighs)
I love her, but sometimes...
I wish mother would
just disappear.
Oh, be careful what you wish
for, tohru.
Mother,
I made warm milk for you.
Mommy?
Aw, why can't we go help
tohru look for his mom?
Because uncle must guard egg from forces
of darkness while Jackie recuperates,
and because uncle must beat Jade
in a friendly game of mah-jongg.
Well?
The concierge said mother
scheduled a bus tour
to the Taj Mahal.
Told you the dark chi
dudes didn't get her.
Of course they did not.
She is more fearsome than they.
Grrr.
Whoa-aah!
Sensei, are you all right?
(Giggles)
Chair very slippery.
Now, it is your move, Jade.
Whoa! I win!
Uh-huh, uh-huh!
It's my birthday!
I won! You lost!
Impossible!
I know three dark warriors
who are finally about to make
daolon wong a happy wizard.
Let's not be hasty.
This snake can
make us invisible.
We can sneak into any
movie we want for free.
Ahem.
If ol' crazy eyes can't see us,
we can sneak up and
stomp the chi outta him.
And force him to turn us back
into our normal old selves.
Yeah!
Talisman power... Ho!
Hey, I can still see you guys.
Uh, 'cause we're all invisible.
Ohh!
I was never any good at science.
Hiya, boss.
Ratso here was wondering
if you needed any pictures
hung, big d.
All that I need is for you to
bring me the correct snake!
(Screaming)
Are you certain you won't
return home with us, tohru?
I should wait here for mother
to return from her tour.
Good thing we are leaving.
Hotel has terrible draft.
Whoa!
Hotel gives uncle the willies.
It is as if spirits lurk.
(Knock at door) Bellhop!
Ahh! Jackie!
Bellhops are very careless.
You must not let them carry
bag containing snake egg.
Uggh!
Is that a fact?
Hey, it's a trick.
Snakes don't lay eggs.
Yeah!
Ok, you got me.
Wait. Do they?
Get chan!
So, the egg is magic.
Finn: Chan!
Jackie!
Egg very fragile!
If it breaks,
talisman power could be released.
Or a baby snake could get hurt.
Jackie needs backup. Oop!
Too dangerous!
Aww...
Tohru, help Jackie.
I cannot climb up there, sensei.
Good. Too dangerous.
The egg, chan,
or we scramble you.
I prefer over easy.
Egg roll!
Huh?
Whoa... Whoa...
Invisible snake or flying one?
Ohh!
Why did egg not break?
Mrs. t: Because chicken
eggs are fragile.
Snake eggs are durable.
Mommy?
Oh. Hello.
Someone's here.
Whoaaaa! Whoaaaa!
Unlike egg,
forces of darkness do not bounce.
Tohru, catch your mother!
I...
Had better go fetch the egg.
I'll go with.
Do not worry, mother.
Sensei will find a way to
make you visible again.
Why? She is more pleasing
to the eyes this way.
This is my choice, tohru.
I will remain invisible
so that I may always
protect my baby.
(Gulp) Always?
Tell me you have my snake.
Uh... Right here, big d.
And I cannot see it? Why?
'Cause it's invisible.
Look! There it goes!
Whoa! It's climbing up my pants.
Whoa-oaa-oaa!
So be it.
Whoa.
There!
Paper beats rock!
Mine!
Whoop.
Ooh ooh! Ow ow! Aii aii!
Whoa!
Chow: Mine!
Hey...
The egg's a dud.
Not dud. Snake invisible.
Duh.
Poor little guy's scared.
He activated the talisman
power for protection.
End of the trail.
For you!
I told you,
no fighting forces of darkness.
Not even the skinny one?
Ha ha ha!
That's right, tohru.
Listen to mommy.
Gohh! Gaa! Unh!
Had enough of mommy?
Heh. Come and get me.
Mother!
Remain in safety zone, tohru.
Ha ha ha. Where am I, over here?
Or am I over here?
Mommy!
(Gasps)
Grrr...
Nobody touches my mommy.
Heh heh.
Aah!
Uhh.
Sometimes I can take care of
myself, mother.
And you.
My baby.
Any last wishes, chan?
Uhh! Oof!
Jade, what are you doing?
Shh!
Told you they can be hypnotized.
Now, let's get you back to
section 13 with the other animals,
for your safety.
Sensei says this is the only
way to make you visible again.
Hmph. Probably poison.
Or garlic. (Grumbles)
(Gasps)
What? What is it?
Do not look in mirror.
Aaaah!
Billy goat!
You will pay for this!
Aiiya!
Tohru: Mommy, no!
See? Your fault.
Told you antidote should
always contain garlic.
Jade: Hey, Jackie,
did you do well in school?
Kind of. I'm very bad boy.
I don't want to get
up in the morning.
Later on. Later on.
The teacher been training me,
become very disciplined.
Get up 5:00 in the morning,
training, training, training.
Work very hard every day.
But usually, I'm pretty good.
this place bizarre.
Jade, it is a bazaar.
Anywhere grown men play with
baby toys is bizarre in my book.
Uncle is not playing.
This rattle's filled with the
enchanted teeth of mongoose,
which will lead us to the snake,
which possesses the
power of invisibility.
Do you think our search
will take long, sensei?
(Rattling) Oh! No. I do not.
(Rattling)
The snake we seek
must be within.
Jackie, take basket!
Oh!
Do not even breathe.
Cobras are very poisonous.
I know.
They say you can hypnotize 'em
by looking right
into their eyes.
Jade!
(Rattling)
Ugg! Uncle!
But not our snake.
Put basket down.
Ugg. How?
Quickly, of course.
We must find real snake
before dark forces arrive.
Ahh!
Aah!
Huh?
(Hiss)
Ow.
You!
Billy goat!
Uh, mommy!
Whoa! Mrs. t?
What brings you
to bizarr-o world?
And when are you leaving?
Mother, what a coincidence
bumping into you all
the way in India.
Coincidence?
You invited me!
Uh-oh.
Tohru!
You did not tell uncle
you invited spider woman!
(Moans)
See? Even Jackie moans with
displeasure at her arrival.
Uh, Jackie?
Are you all right?
Jackie,
how many fingers do you see?
(Groaning)
(Gasps) Jackie has
been bitten by snake.
Well, what a co-inky-dink.
We're looking for a snake.
These strange men,
they appeared out of thin air.
They used to be men.
Now they're card-carrying members
of the forces of darkness.
Stop them, tohru!
Yarrgg... ulp.
My baby will not fight
forces of darkness!
(Laughs) Hear that?
Yeah. Tohru's mommy won't
let him come out and play.
Heh heh.
Maybe he needs his diaper changed.
(All laugh)
Hohhh!
Stop them, Jackie!
Eh, hello.
Jackie!
Heh heh. That's called the
slippery cobra technique.
Whoa.
I'm not sure who's dizzier.
Chan or me?
Maybe we should get
Jackie to a doctor.
We must find snake
before dark forces do,
then uncle will cure Jackie.
Do not worry. I once saw television
program about cobra poisoning.
Jackie only in stage one.
Very slight dryness of mouth.
(Wheezes)
(Jackie wheezing)
Wa... Ter...
Must have... Water.
Wa... Ter.
Thank you.
Yarrr... Matey!
Stage 2?
Stark-raving madness.
Shiver me timbers! Yo ho ho!
(Humming popeye theme)
Luckily stage 2 very brief.
Do not understand.
Locator spell was warm
near first basket.
Now it is cold.
(Rattle)
(Gasps)
The magic snake!
Oh, look! It is getting away!
And so are we!
See ya.
Uncle,
if daolon wong gets the snake,
he'll have the power of...
Shh!
The talisman power
of invisibility
lies within the
snake within the egg.
(Rattling)
Uncle, you so sly.
Do not tell your mother.
She has big mouth, and dark forces
must not discover the truth.
It is best if we treat Jackie
before onset of stage 3.
What happens in stage 3?
(Moans)
Jackie lies
motionless on ground.
Jackie needs root
of Willow tree.
Yes, Willow tree perfect,
if Jackie had chapped lips.
Then what does madam
tarantula recommend?
Sycamore sap.
Jackie does not
have athlete's foot.
Must use garlic.
Too much garlic!
No such thing too much garlic.
Uncle knew you were vampire.
Grrr. Junk seller!
Oh, blood sucker!
Jade: Hey... It's working!
Hello.
Good thing I was here to help.
What kind of uncle are you?
I would never let my
tohru play with snakes.
Mother, please.
There is no need to
be so overprotective.
Overprotective?
Mother is not overprotective!
You must eat.
It is past lunchtime.
Yes, mother.
I am feeling much better.
Thank you.
Of course you are,
thanks to my remedies.
Mine!
No, mine! No, mine!
No, mine. Mine!
Mine! Mine!
Ah! You yell too much.
Gives me headache.
I am going to bed.
You are old yeller.
And that is uncle's room.
Billy goat's suitcase on my bed?
He has no respect for
other people's things.
(Sniffs)
Garlic, fahh!
Bad for snake bite,
but good for headache.
Ahh...
Essence of snake
eggshell even better.
Mmm...
Ahh, headache disappearing.
Ah, head feeling much... (Gasps)
Where is my head?
Ohh!
Some kind of magic.
A trick!
Billy goat did this to me!
He will pay!
Mother means well,
but sometimes I think she
forgets that I am a grown man.
Uh, very grown.
When she gets in your face,
tell her to give you some space.
She would just take
it the wrong way.
(Sighs)
I love her, but sometimes...
I wish mother would
just disappear.
Oh, be careful what you wish
for, tohru.
Mother,
I made warm milk for you.
Mommy?
Aw, why can't we go help
tohru look for his mom?
Because uncle must guard egg from forces
of darkness while Jackie recuperates,
and because uncle must beat Jade
in a friendly game of mah-jongg.
Well?
The concierge said mother
scheduled a bus tour
to the Taj Mahal.
Told you the dark chi
dudes didn't get her.
Of course they did not.
She is more fearsome than they.
Grrr.
Whoa-aah!
Sensei, are you all right?
(Giggles)
Chair very slippery.
Now, it is your move, Jade.
Whoa! I win!
Uh-huh, uh-huh!
It's my birthday!
I won! You lost!
Impossible!
I know three dark warriors
who are finally about to make
daolon wong a happy wizard.
Let's not be hasty.
This snake can
make us invisible.
We can sneak into any
movie we want for free.
Ahem.
If ol' crazy eyes can't see us,
we can sneak up and
stomp the chi outta him.
And force him to turn us back
into our normal old selves.
Yeah!
Talisman power... Ho!
Hey, I can still see you guys.
Uh, 'cause we're all invisible.
Ohh!
I was never any good at science.
Hiya, boss.
Ratso here was wondering
if you needed any pictures
hung, big d.
All that I need is for you to
bring me the correct snake!
(Screaming)
Are you certain you won't
return home with us, tohru?
I should wait here for mother
to return from her tour.
Good thing we are leaving.
Hotel has terrible draft.
Whoa!
Hotel gives uncle the willies.
It is as if spirits lurk.
(Knock at door) Bellhop!
Ahh! Jackie!
Bellhops are very careless.
You must not let them carry
bag containing snake egg.
Uggh!
Is that a fact?
Hey, it's a trick.
Snakes don't lay eggs.
Yeah!
Ok, you got me.
Wait. Do they?
Get chan!
So, the egg is magic.
Finn: Chan!
Jackie!
Egg very fragile!
If it breaks,
talisman power could be released.
Or a baby snake could get hurt.
Jackie needs backup. Oop!
Too dangerous!
Aww...
Tohru, help Jackie.
I cannot climb up there, sensei.
Good. Too dangerous.
The egg, chan,
or we scramble you.
I prefer over easy.
Egg roll!
Huh?
Whoa... Whoa...
Invisible snake or flying one?
Ohh!
Why did egg not break?
Mrs. t: Because chicken
eggs are fragile.
Snake eggs are durable.
Mommy?
Oh. Hello.
Someone's here.
Whoaaaa! Whoaaaa!
Unlike egg,
forces of darkness do not bounce.
Tohru, catch your mother!
I...
Had better go fetch the egg.
I'll go with.
Do not worry, mother.
Sensei will find a way to
make you visible again.
Why? She is more pleasing
to the eyes this way.
This is my choice, tohru.
I will remain invisible
so that I may always
protect my baby.
(Gulp) Always?
Tell me you have my snake.
Uh... Right here, big d.
And I cannot see it? Why?
'Cause it's invisible.
Look! There it goes!
Whoa! It's climbing up my pants.
Whoa-oaa-oaa!
So be it.
Whoa.
There!
Paper beats rock!
Mine!
Whoop.
Ooh ooh! Ow ow! Aii aii!
Whoa!
Chow: Mine!
Hey...
The egg's a dud.
Not dud. Snake invisible.
Duh.
Poor little guy's scared.
He activated the talisman
power for protection.
End of the trail.
For you!
I told you,
no fighting forces of darkness.
Not even the skinny one?
Ha ha ha!
That's right, tohru.
Listen to mommy.
Gohh! Gaa! Unh!
Had enough of mommy?
Heh. Come and get me.
Mother!
Remain in safety zone, tohru.
Ha ha ha. Where am I, over here?
Or am I over here?
Mommy!
(Gasps)
Grrr...
Nobody touches my mommy.
Heh heh.
Aah!
Uhh.
Sometimes I can take care of
myself, mother.
And you.
My baby.
Any last wishes, chan?
Uhh! Oof!
Jade, what are you doing?
Shh!
Told you they can be hypnotized.
Now, let's get you back to
section 13 with the other animals,
for your safety.
Sensei says this is the only
way to make you visible again.
Hmph. Probably poison.
Or garlic. (Grumbles)
(Gasps)
What? What is it?
Do not look in mirror.
Aaaah!
Billy goat!
You will pay for this!
Aiiya!
Tohru: Mommy, no!
See? Your fault.
Told you antidote should
always contain garlic.
Jade: Hey, Jackie,
did you do well in school?
Kind of. I'm very bad boy.
I don't want to get
up in the morning.
Later on. Later on.
The teacher been training me,
become very disciplined.
Get up 5:00 in the morning,
training, training, training.
Work very hard every day.
But usually, I'm pretty good.