Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005): Season 3, Episode 4 - Aztec Rat Race - full transcript
The search for the Talisman powered animals continues in Mexico where they get help from El Toro. The rat's power is activated and brings a statue to life.
Tch, if we go any deeper into
Mexico, we'll hit China.
Jade, on the phone.
Uncle,
we have been hiking for hours
and there is still no sign.
Are you certain this
cat's whisker will work?
You do not trust uncle's
locator spell ingredients?
What finds rats? A cat!
One more thing. Daolon wong
will stop at nothing to gain
the talisman power
within the rat.
So, do not dilly-dally.
But I am not dilly-dallying.
Oh. Must go. Lunch is ready.
Whoa. Acupuncture city. (Laughs)
Real acupuncture is a good
thing, Jade.
It stimulates the
energy channels,
and rids the body of...
Hola, seor chan.
Bad chi.
Fork over your rat finder, chan.
Come and get it, superfreaks.
Uh, no, uh,
go and find your own.
Jade, get help.
Ohh.
Wah!
Agh!
Wah!
Aah!
Unh.
Whoa!
Too bad your niece
won't be showing up
with the federales anytime soon.
Help has arrived, amigo.
All: El toro!
Grr.
(Grunts)
Sorry... Uhh!
Whoa! Oof.
(Yelling)
Whoa!
We'll be back, chan!
Antler action!
It is fortunate that
Jade located me and paco.
Yes, El toro... ugh... quite.
So, did you manage to scout
any likely rat habitats?
Just the village of nueva plata,
though there is rumored to be
an abandoned silver mine nearby.
Is not! Is too!
Is not! Is too!
Hey, children.
Why do you argue?
Paco just can't accept
the fact that supermoose
is, like, so totally last year.
Is not! À El cuernudo à poderoso
is the greatest
masked hero ever.
The greatest?
Uh, that is a lovely moose
pen, paco,
but I think we can all agree
that finding the rat
before the dark forces return,
is the most important
thing right now.
So totally 90s.
So totally not.
Do you hear that?
You did not mention there
would be more than one rat.
Not that I am bothered.
Which is the rat that we want?
The one with the power
to bring motion to the
motionless, moose boy.
This way!
Jackie: It is...
Silver.
Excavated from the mine
to build this shrine.
In honor of quetzalcoatl.
Ko-wetzel-who-zel?
The Mayan god of the
sun, sky and agriculture.
According to legend,
he was part human and part plumed serpent.
Well, if he's not part rat,
where is the little...
(Rat squeaks)
Aah!
Bingo.
Nngh-aah!
Cute little varmint, isn't he?
(Kisses)
(Choking) Ew! Yech.
Did it hurt you?
Uh, no. It, uh,
merely took me by surprise, paco.
I will catch him.
Brr-argh!
No! If you startle the rat,
you could activate its...
Power.
Sorry.
Who dares trespass in my lair?
The talisman power?
Motion to the motionless.
Well?
Uh, we are not trespassers,
your lordship, sir.
Uh, we are, uh...
(rat squeaking)
Gotcha!
Uh, pest control.
Uh, yes, uh,
a deity such as yourself
can not have rats in his lair.
Most unbecoming.
Cihuacoatl.
It looks more like a Mickey,
but you can name him
whatever you want.
That creature's name is of
no concern to me, Princess.
Quetzalcoatl thinks Jade...
Is the Mayan goddess
of the earth!
Uh...
I sort of see a
resemblance, but come on.
My do's way sassier than hers.
I see you have not lost your
sense of humor, cihuacoatl.
Come. Let us at last
complete our journey.
Uh, what journey?
We must fly together
into the sun.
Heh heh.
Heh heh.
I don't suppose you'd believe
you're really just a
statue, would you?
Let us fly into the sun,
so that our combined magic
will rain upon the earth
and protect the land from
the forces of darkness.
The statue can do that?
I do not want to
wait and find out.
You will not have to.
Princess, the sun awaits.
Heh. You got it.
Let me just run out
for some tanning butter. Ooh.
Who dares?
Xolotl.
You are talking to me?
Oh. Quetzalcoatl thinks El toro
is the god of the underworld!
You Bear the horned feet.
You are xolotl's messenger.
But they are antlers.
El toro: Wait!
He is not... I am not...
Ohh!
You will not take
cihuacoatl to the underworld
while I am here to defend her.
Aah!
Oof!
(Groans)
El toro, are you ok?
Of course, paco.
The statue can shoot
fire from his hands?
God of the sun, duh.
Chan had a masked crime fighter with
him, your wongship.
The sun was in our eyes!
We need bigger weapons!
Excuses, excuses!
I see that if I wish
this task accomplished,
I must do it myself.
Oof! Ooh.
That's cool. We'll wait here,
rest up, order some chi pizza.
Humph. You 3 shall
accompany me and watch!
Perhaps you will
learn something.
Uh, perhaps quetzalcoatl
would not be so angry
if you prove to him you are
not, you know...
El toro fuerte never
removes his mask.
Unhand the Princess,
or face my wrath.
Uh, maybe you should
make an exception.
Go, go, go!
The statue can fly, too?
God of the sky, duh.
Jackie: In here.
Quetzalcoatl: Aargh!
Jade: Hi-yo, silver mine.
In you go!
Hang on tight!
(Grunting)
Please keep your
paws and whiskers
inside the vehicle at all times.
(Rumbling)
(Grunting)
The underworld? No!
Bad day. Muy bad.
Aah!
(Cell phone rings)
Hello? Uncle?
Now is not a good time.
What is more important
than talking to uncle?
Jackie: I am in a
speeding mining car,
fleeing a reanimated
Mayan statue,
trying to seize Jade so he
can fly her into the sun!
Why did you not say so?
It seems you have found the rat.
Yes.
If the living statue
touches the rat again,
he will return to
his original form.
I do not think he is in the
mood to do us any favors.
Unh!
Uncle: One more thing...
(Scream)
Whoa! Oof.
(Groans)
Whee. Can we ride again?
Flee no more, xolotl.
The statue can grow
unbreakable vines?
I know, agriculture, duh.
Where are your dark powers
now, xolotl?
Hello...
Wake up and smell the
chimichangas, wingding.
"A," he's not...
uh, whoever you think he is.
2, you're really a statue.
And "b," I may have an
incredibly cool coif,
but I'm not a Mayan goddess.
Hmm. Clearly xolotl
has clouded your mind
with his dark magic.
Grr... I mean, yes.
And now that you've
imprisoned him,
the fog has lifted, oh,
mighty lizard-head-guy.
Now do your favorite
goddess a favor
and pet the pretty rat.
An odd request, but as you wish.
Daolon wong: Ahh!
I see my work has
already been done for me.
I will take the rat.
The rat is mine.
And, like the rat,
my enemies have been caged.
Apparently by this
able-bodied warrior.
Yeah, right, uh,
maybe giant lizard guy
has better powers than us.
Ever think of that?
Yeah. Excuses!
Who are the interlopers?
They're evil to the Max.
Don't let them rip off the rat.
Uh, I mean, it would please
your most trusty goddess
to not let the true villains
escape, o great flying one.
But it is he who bears the
symbol of the horned one.
Paco, give me your pen.
Huh?
Let us depart.
Oomph! (Squeaking)
Oh! What?
Be gone, brat!
Oh!
You just stand there?
Hey, watch and learn, remember?
Look, oh lord of sunlight,
he is truly the god
of the underworld.
You, there!
Your power of light is no
match for the blackest chi.
Dark magic.
So, you are truly xolotl.
But then, you...
Uh...
Talk later!
Princess!
See? The first lesson of
battle: Surprise the enemy.
Surprise!
What? Stop her!
Little girl? We can handle that.
(Panting)
(Pants)
Hey! Oh!
Gah!
Adios.
Ooh. Where's a mouse
hole when you need one?
Give me that!
Hi. We're your new neighbors.
Can we borrow a cup of rat?
Eh, cuernudo?
How about a heaping
helping of moose?
(Squeaks)
Come here, you!
(Gulps)
Ay-yi-yi!
What is keeping those fools?
(Henchmen screaming)
Supermooses: Antler action!
Que?
Viva los cuernudos à poderosos!
More horned ones?
Uh-uh. Antlers.
Hey, uh, supermooses...
Supermeese?
You guys, free my friends!
♪ Ba-da-ba-ba ba-ba ♪
Antler...
Action!
Ooh.
Freedom is mine, once again!
Antler action!
Shoo!
Shoo!
Shoo!
Stop, xolotl!
I shall right my wrongs.
You shall try.
Ooh!
Well, I'll be stuffed. Candy!
Sweet!
Open season, boys!
It's like a birthday party!
Super moose to the rescue!
(Gasps)
Los cuernudos àneed help!
Oomph! Ugh.
Finn: Piatas.
Made to take a beating.
Tag. Quit it. Ow.
Whoa!
Ahem!
Ok. It's on.
No. It is over.
Supermoose: ♪
boo-doo-dul-oo-boo boo-boo ♪
Yeah! Bravo!
Whoa! Oof!
Give me the rat!
Why, I will scatter its
power back to the winds!
I don't care if he isn't cute.
I won't let you hurt him!
Very well, child.
Quetzalcoatl: And I do not care
if she is not a goddess.
I will not let you harm her!
Yeeow!
Ho-ho! You go!
You da sun god! You da sun god!
Give me some hoof
there, partner!
Such power within
this small creature.
And such courage within you.
With heroes such as you
protecting the land from
the forces of darkness,
I am content to return
to my proper place.
Quetzalcoatl bids you farewell.
I think quetzalcoatl
is muy excelente.
Almost as excelente as
you, El toro.
You saved us all.
Him and El à cuernudo poderoso.
Some toys never go out of style.
(Rat squeaks)
Jade,
I think it is feeding time.
Want to do the honors?
Uh, si.
Jade: I think it likes
you, seor fuerte!
Cute!
Hey, Jackie! Yes?
Have you done any
extreme sports?
When I'm filming
everyday, I always do
the dangerous things,
the dangerous things.
Then when I get hurt,
you can see it on the screen.
Some of my friends,
they went skiing.
Coming back, one broken leg,
one broken arm.
When on holiday,
I never do these kinds of things.
On the screening,
I do everything.
Mexico, we'll hit China.
Jade, on the phone.
Uncle,
we have been hiking for hours
and there is still no sign.
Are you certain this
cat's whisker will work?
You do not trust uncle's
locator spell ingredients?
What finds rats? A cat!
One more thing. Daolon wong
will stop at nothing to gain
the talisman power
within the rat.
So, do not dilly-dally.
But I am not dilly-dallying.
Oh. Must go. Lunch is ready.
Whoa. Acupuncture city. (Laughs)
Real acupuncture is a good
thing, Jade.
It stimulates the
energy channels,
and rids the body of...
Hola, seor chan.
Bad chi.
Fork over your rat finder, chan.
Come and get it, superfreaks.
Uh, no, uh,
go and find your own.
Jade, get help.
Ohh.
Wah!
Agh!
Wah!
Aah!
Unh.
Whoa!
Too bad your niece
won't be showing up
with the federales anytime soon.
Help has arrived, amigo.
All: El toro!
Grr.
(Grunts)
Sorry... Uhh!
Whoa! Oof.
(Yelling)
Whoa!
We'll be back, chan!
Antler action!
It is fortunate that
Jade located me and paco.
Yes, El toro... ugh... quite.
So, did you manage to scout
any likely rat habitats?
Just the village of nueva plata,
though there is rumored to be
an abandoned silver mine nearby.
Is not! Is too!
Is not! Is too!
Hey, children.
Why do you argue?
Paco just can't accept
the fact that supermoose
is, like, so totally last year.
Is not! À El cuernudo à poderoso
is the greatest
masked hero ever.
The greatest?
Uh, that is a lovely moose
pen, paco,
but I think we can all agree
that finding the rat
before the dark forces return,
is the most important
thing right now.
So totally 90s.
So totally not.
Do you hear that?
You did not mention there
would be more than one rat.
Not that I am bothered.
Which is the rat that we want?
The one with the power
to bring motion to the
motionless, moose boy.
This way!
Jackie: It is...
Silver.
Excavated from the mine
to build this shrine.
In honor of quetzalcoatl.
Ko-wetzel-who-zel?
The Mayan god of the
sun, sky and agriculture.
According to legend,
he was part human and part plumed serpent.
Well, if he's not part rat,
where is the little...
(Rat squeaks)
Aah!
Bingo.
Nngh-aah!
Cute little varmint, isn't he?
(Kisses)
(Choking) Ew! Yech.
Did it hurt you?
Uh, no. It, uh,
merely took me by surprise, paco.
I will catch him.
Brr-argh!
No! If you startle the rat,
you could activate its...
Power.
Sorry.
Who dares trespass in my lair?
The talisman power?
Motion to the motionless.
Well?
Uh, we are not trespassers,
your lordship, sir.
Uh, we are, uh...
(rat squeaking)
Gotcha!
Uh, pest control.
Uh, yes, uh,
a deity such as yourself
can not have rats in his lair.
Most unbecoming.
Cihuacoatl.
It looks more like a Mickey,
but you can name him
whatever you want.
That creature's name is of
no concern to me, Princess.
Quetzalcoatl thinks Jade...
Is the Mayan goddess
of the earth!
Uh...
I sort of see a
resemblance, but come on.
My do's way sassier than hers.
I see you have not lost your
sense of humor, cihuacoatl.
Come. Let us at last
complete our journey.
Uh, what journey?
We must fly together
into the sun.
Heh heh.
Heh heh.
I don't suppose you'd believe
you're really just a
statue, would you?
Let us fly into the sun,
so that our combined magic
will rain upon the earth
and protect the land from
the forces of darkness.
The statue can do that?
I do not want to
wait and find out.
You will not have to.
Princess, the sun awaits.
Heh. You got it.
Let me just run out
for some tanning butter. Ooh.
Who dares?
Xolotl.
You are talking to me?
Oh. Quetzalcoatl thinks El toro
is the god of the underworld!
You Bear the horned feet.
You are xolotl's messenger.
But they are antlers.
El toro: Wait!
He is not... I am not...
Ohh!
You will not take
cihuacoatl to the underworld
while I am here to defend her.
Aah!
Oof!
(Groans)
El toro, are you ok?
Of course, paco.
The statue can shoot
fire from his hands?
God of the sun, duh.
Chan had a masked crime fighter with
him, your wongship.
The sun was in our eyes!
We need bigger weapons!
Excuses, excuses!
I see that if I wish
this task accomplished,
I must do it myself.
Oof! Ooh.
That's cool. We'll wait here,
rest up, order some chi pizza.
Humph. You 3 shall
accompany me and watch!
Perhaps you will
learn something.
Uh, perhaps quetzalcoatl
would not be so angry
if you prove to him you are
not, you know...
El toro fuerte never
removes his mask.
Unhand the Princess,
or face my wrath.
Uh, maybe you should
make an exception.
Go, go, go!
The statue can fly, too?
God of the sky, duh.
Jackie: In here.
Quetzalcoatl: Aargh!
Jade: Hi-yo, silver mine.
In you go!
Hang on tight!
(Grunting)
Please keep your
paws and whiskers
inside the vehicle at all times.
(Rumbling)
(Grunting)
The underworld? No!
Bad day. Muy bad.
Aah!
(Cell phone rings)
Hello? Uncle?
Now is not a good time.
What is more important
than talking to uncle?
Jackie: I am in a
speeding mining car,
fleeing a reanimated
Mayan statue,
trying to seize Jade so he
can fly her into the sun!
Why did you not say so?
It seems you have found the rat.
Yes.
If the living statue
touches the rat again,
he will return to
his original form.
I do not think he is in the
mood to do us any favors.
Unh!
Uncle: One more thing...
(Scream)
Whoa! Oof.
(Groans)
Whee. Can we ride again?
Flee no more, xolotl.
The statue can grow
unbreakable vines?
I know, agriculture, duh.
Where are your dark powers
now, xolotl?
Hello...
Wake up and smell the
chimichangas, wingding.
"A," he's not...
uh, whoever you think he is.
2, you're really a statue.
And "b," I may have an
incredibly cool coif,
but I'm not a Mayan goddess.
Hmm. Clearly xolotl
has clouded your mind
with his dark magic.
Grr... I mean, yes.
And now that you've
imprisoned him,
the fog has lifted, oh,
mighty lizard-head-guy.
Now do your favorite
goddess a favor
and pet the pretty rat.
An odd request, but as you wish.
Daolon wong: Ahh!
I see my work has
already been done for me.
I will take the rat.
The rat is mine.
And, like the rat,
my enemies have been caged.
Apparently by this
able-bodied warrior.
Yeah, right, uh,
maybe giant lizard guy
has better powers than us.
Ever think of that?
Yeah. Excuses!
Who are the interlopers?
They're evil to the Max.
Don't let them rip off the rat.
Uh, I mean, it would please
your most trusty goddess
to not let the true villains
escape, o great flying one.
But it is he who bears the
symbol of the horned one.
Paco, give me your pen.
Huh?
Let us depart.
Oomph! (Squeaking)
Oh! What?
Be gone, brat!
Oh!
You just stand there?
Hey, watch and learn, remember?
Look, oh lord of sunlight,
he is truly the god
of the underworld.
You, there!
Your power of light is no
match for the blackest chi.
Dark magic.
So, you are truly xolotl.
But then, you...
Uh...
Talk later!
Princess!
See? The first lesson of
battle: Surprise the enemy.
Surprise!
What? Stop her!
Little girl? We can handle that.
(Panting)
(Pants)
Hey! Oh!
Gah!
Adios.
Ooh. Where's a mouse
hole when you need one?
Give me that!
Hi. We're your new neighbors.
Can we borrow a cup of rat?
Eh, cuernudo?
How about a heaping
helping of moose?
(Squeaks)
Come here, you!
(Gulps)
Ay-yi-yi!
What is keeping those fools?
(Henchmen screaming)
Supermooses: Antler action!
Que?
Viva los cuernudos à poderosos!
More horned ones?
Uh-uh. Antlers.
Hey, uh, supermooses...
Supermeese?
You guys, free my friends!
♪ Ba-da-ba-ba ba-ba ♪
Antler...
Action!
Ooh.
Freedom is mine, once again!
Antler action!
Shoo!
Shoo!
Shoo!
Stop, xolotl!
I shall right my wrongs.
You shall try.
Ooh!
Well, I'll be stuffed. Candy!
Sweet!
Open season, boys!
It's like a birthday party!
Super moose to the rescue!
(Gasps)
Los cuernudos àneed help!
Oomph! Ugh.
Finn: Piatas.
Made to take a beating.
Tag. Quit it. Ow.
Whoa!
Ahem!
Ok. It's on.
No. It is over.
Supermoose: ♪
boo-doo-dul-oo-boo boo-boo ♪
Yeah! Bravo!
Whoa! Oof!
Give me the rat!
Why, I will scatter its
power back to the winds!
I don't care if he isn't cute.
I won't let you hurt him!
Very well, child.
Quetzalcoatl: And I do not care
if she is not a goddess.
I will not let you harm her!
Yeeow!
Ho-ho! You go!
You da sun god! You da sun god!
Give me some hoof
there, partner!
Such power within
this small creature.
And such courage within you.
With heroes such as you
protecting the land from
the forces of darkness,
I am content to return
to my proper place.
Quetzalcoatl bids you farewell.
I think quetzalcoatl
is muy excelente.
Almost as excelente as
you, El toro.
You saved us all.
Him and El à cuernudo poderoso.
Some toys never go out of style.
(Rat squeaks)
Jade,
I think it is feeding time.
Want to do the honors?
Uh, si.
Jade: I think it likes
you, seor fuerte!
Cute!
Hey, Jackie! Yes?
Have you done any
extreme sports?
When I'm filming
everyday, I always do
the dangerous things,
the dangerous things.
Then when I get hurt,
you can see it on the screen.
Some of my friends,
they went skiing.
Coming back, one broken leg,
one broken arm.
When on holiday,
I never do these kinds of things.
On the screening,
I do everything.