Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005): Season 2, Episode 29 - Enter the Cat - full transcript
Jackie finds a highly valued cat statue. Anyone who is scratched by it, is magically transformed. Both Valmont and Jade are affected.
Looks like we missed
the garage sale.
What we are looking for is
most likely well-hidden, Jade.
According to an 18th century
text found in a museum,
this palace was the last known
home of the cat of Khartoum.
(Cat meows)
I think I hear it!
It is a statue, Jade,
not an actual...
(frustrated cries)
Oh, kitty! Got your little
leg all caught in palace junk?
(Meows)
You're welcome!
Hungry, girl?
So, what's your name?
Rrr-bbbeee rrr-bbbeee.
Ruby! Ha ha ha!
That tickles Ruby!
Odd. This tile is not as
weathered as the others.
Perhaps...
Ahh!
(Agitated yowls)
What's the matter, girl?
Booby trap!
Mayday!
(Both coughing)
Jade, are you...
Fine.
(Agitated yowl)
It's ok, Ruby.
That kind of stuff happens all the time
when you hang out with uncle Jackie.
(Gasps) The cat of Khartoum!
That's it?
Looks like something you buy
at a swap meet for a buck.
Worth quite a bit
more, young lady.
(Gasps) Valmont!
Thanks ever so for finding
the cat for me, chan.
Now hand it over!
No! It belongs to the museum!
Yeah, so step off!
We almost got pancaked
looking for that thing!
Please,
let's not compare hardships.
My men have been combing this
disgusting pig sty for the past 3 days,
searching for that kitty.
Aw! Ruined my best shirt!
It's your only shirt.
Oh, look at my shoes!
Soon as we collect the 20 large
for that kitty statue, I'm gonna...
Do put a sock in it, Finn.
Get that cat!
Hey! Maybe you haven't heard,
but possession is
nine-tenths of the law!
Yeah? And this here's
the other two-tenths!
You need to work on your math!
Yeah? Well,
my math's good enough to know
that 3-against-1
ain't very good odds!
Spare me the gladiator scene.
Just get the merchandise!
Yes! Keep your eye on the kitty!
Jade: Go, Jackie!
You hit 'em high,
I'll hit 'em...
Aah!
Low.
Ooh, he's got drapery!
What you gonna do, redecorate?
Yes! Hey! Wha-
(meows) Jackie!
Ruby! (Yowls)
Aah!
Ahh!
Ow!
Sharp little devil, aren't you?
Jade, wait here!
Ohh!
Valmont, this is very dangerous!
If we fall, we...
How do you do that?
It's all a matter of
balance, chan.
Case in point.
Uh-oh. Uhoh.
Whoa... uhh!
Aah!
(Sighs)
No way.
Fantastic!
I've never felt so alive!
Something about this
statue, chan.
It's good luck!
Good luck or bad magic?
This cafe is owned
by Cardiff zendo,
the largest collector of
art objects in tangiers,
(whispers) And known as
a very shady character.
Thank you.
I suspect valmont and company
will be showing up any time now
to conduct their... Business.
And then we take back the cat.
Right, Ruby?
(Meows)
Jade, you cannot bring an
animal into a public restaurant!
It's not hygienic!
Jackie, cats are very clean.
(Cell phone rings)
Is that you, uncle?
No! It is a magazine salesman
calling you at 5:00 in morning.
Oh! Sorry.
It's almost lunchtime here.
Uncle has been researching
the cat of Khartoum.
Yes, and did you discover
any unusual legends or...
Getting to that!
According to legend,
anyone who gets scratched
by claw of statue...
Becomes like a cat himself.
Ooh! You already know so much,
why you bother me?
There is one thing I do not
know, uncle.
What is the antidote?
Antidote?!
Do not get scratched by claw of cat!
I mean,
how do you reverse the process?
Or, are you getting to that?
No. Getting to bed.
Call you back later.
(Valmont slurping)
Dude, check it out.
Ahh!
Want a little coffee with
your cream there, big v?
I'll give him one thing...
He's very tidy.
I say we collect the dough
for this thing pronto,
get valmont to a doctor.
Maybe there's some kind of cure.
Don't you mean a veterinarian?
(Both stifle laughter)
I heard that.
In fact, my hearing
has become quite acute.
There is no cure because
this is not a disease.
It's a transformation...
And I rather like the new me.
Besides,
why sell to Cardiff zendo
for a mere 20 large?
This little kitty
should go to market,
where we can auction it
off to the highest bidder,
or better yet... Hmm.
(Chuckles)
Uh, you got a hairball, boss?
An inspiration.
Obviously,
it was a scratch from tabby here
that changed me into the glorious
specimen you now see before you.
Why not use her to create
others like myself?
Stealth, cunning,
and the agility of a cat!
Just one tiny scratch
away, boys.
We'll be able to steal
every treasure in the world!
We? We?
(Chuckles)
(Meows) Tassels!
I never realized what
pleasure they can give!
So, what do you say?
9 lifetimes of playing
with yarn balls.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Ditto.
Perhaps in time
you'll come to see
how wonderful the
feline life can be!
(Meows)
Excuse me, but there's a
phone call for you, monsieur.
For me?
Yes.
You may take it in the back.
Perhaps uncle couldn't
reach me by cell phone.
Whatever.
Ha ha ha!
Hello?
Rrarr!
Did you want to use the phone?
Uhh!
Uhh! Rrarr!
Mayday! Mayday!
Aah! Sorry.
I really should be
getting back to... whoa!
Ehh! Uhh! Ehh!
Pillow fight?
Aah!
Heh heh!
Uhh!
You are going to be
in big trouble...
With the phone company.
Rrarr! Ohh!
Thank you.
(Chuckles) It is I who
should be grateful, Mr. chan.
That display case you
nearly plowed into
contains many
priceless objet d'art.
You are Cardiff zendo.
So I am!
My treasures,
and soon joining them,
the most marvelous
collectible of all...
The cat of Khartoum.
But a little birdie tells me you
are after the statue as well.
Yes, and I am sure my niece
has located it by now.
If you like,
I will go and find her, and...
That won't be necessary.
Get your hands off me or I'll...
I'll...
You don't even want to know!
Let her go!
Yes, do let her go.
(Meows)
You have just given me the most
delightful idea, Mr. chan...
One that will
benefit us mutually.
What?
Based upon the late
hour, I can only surmise
that Mr. valmont has had second
thoughts about our little transaction.
Your niece will find him
and fetch me the statue.
In exchange,
you get your freedom.
No! It is too dangerous!
I'll give you, say,
an hour to complete the task...
That is, if you ever want
to see your uncle again.
Don't worry, Jackie.
I'll nab that tabby.
Please, Jade.
Be very careful of the statue's claws.
Hey, I know my way around a cat.
(Whistles)
You touch one hair
on Jackie's head,
you're gonna have
to answer to me!
(Chuckles) Spunky.
Lock him up.
Heh.
So, how long have you gentlemen
been in the restaurant business?
(Cell phone rings)
Oh. I have to take this.
Nice chatting with you.
Uncle?
No. Irish sweepstakes.
You win a million bucks!
Please, uncle.
I need to know about the...
Getting to that!
Old Moroccan legend of cat
statue speaks of a proverb...
"the antidote to the
cat curse lies within."
Lies within?
Lies within whom, uncle?
No idea. Sounds like fortune
cookie nonsense to me.
Naptime. Good-bye.
Why'd he bring us here?
Said it was supposed
to be a big score.
It's a crummy factory.
(Sniffs)
Tcha, with a vault.
I'm starting to like
the new valmont.
He's thinking bigger,
working new angles.
Sweet!
(Purrs)
Good girl, Ruby! You found him.
Lassie's got nothing on you!
A cow factory?
Oh, big v, that is so gross!
Yeah, and all that cholesterol!
(Meowing)
Shh! They'll hear us!
What is it, girl?
(Slurps)
Oh, that's nothing
to worry about.
Just a big old tub of...
cream! Duh!
That's the trail
you were following.
Whatever.
You still found valmont.
Be back in 2 shakes of a tail.
(Slurps)
(Sniffs)
(Growls)
We have us a cat burglar.
Time to scat, cat!
(Hisses)
Whoa!
(Yowls)
Cats hate water.
(Meows)
Don't worry, Ruby.
I won't let you get...
Hey, let me go!
(Yowling)
Hey! Cut it out!
Aah! Uhh!
(Rip)
Ow! You owe me for
a new pair of jeans!
Ok, you've got your statue.
Finally! The cat of Khartoum!
Mine!
Yes! And without having to
spend a penny to acquire it!
Oh! I was not,
of course, implying
that you're cheap, Mr. zendo.
(Nervous laugh)
You'll find your uncle in the
supply closet off the hall.
No hard feelings,
my impressive young friend.
Jade!
Told you I'd find the statue.
I'm just glad you are unharmed.
Why wouldn't I be?
Now, let's get the plaster cat
back from that zendo creep!
You wait here, please!
I suspect zendo will not
surrender the cat easily.
Mmm! (Slurps) Mmm!
Got evaporated milk?
(Gasps) Those
claws, those teeth!
Yes. The artistry is marvelous.
(Gasps)
Zendo: Valmont!
Oh, dear. Look at the time.
I must go do that thing...
That I must go do.
(Snarling) Oh!
How delightful to see you!
Yes.
I was absolutely beside myself
to hear of how that
awful little scamp
stole the statue before
you and I had a chance
to complete our transaction.
Grrr!
But, of course,
you want your money.
20 large, as agreed.
Count it if you like.
I just did.
Now, then,
there is one more thing I require...
My statue!
But I paid for it!
It's mine!
No! It belongs to the museum!
And you belong to me, rat!
Jade: Think again, katman-don't!
(Hisses)
Oh! Jade!
Hah!
You... you were
scratched by the statue!
They were old jeans, anywho.
Oh, you mean the
turning-into- a-cat thing?
I was wondering about that.
(Valmont and Jade hiss)
Whoa. Cat fight.
Forget them! Get chan!
Aah!
No! (Gasps)
Babylonian urn!
What's a babylonian urn?
Probably more than we do!
Here, kitty kitty.
(Hissing)
(Jackie grunting)
Ow! - Uhh! - Ohh!
Uhh! Uhh!
When in tangiers,
beware of flying carpets.
(Ruby meows)
(Gasps) Jade?
Wha...
(grunts)
Uhh!
(Snarls)
Whoa! A mouse!
Mouse?
Uhh!
(Groans)
I think the words you're
looking for are, "me-ow."
Nobody messes with Jade,
queen of the jungle cats.
(Hisses)
Jade, you're not a jungle cat.
I know that, Jackie. Hello!
And I know I've
got to change back,
so how do I do it?
Um...
What'd uncle say?
He said,
"the antidote lies within."
Sounds like fortune
cookie talk to me.
He said that, too.
Perhaps the statue
itself has some writing,
some clue as to how
to undo the curse.
We must find zendo.
(Plant rustles)
(Nervous laugh)
Where's zendo?
I don't know.
Truly I would tell you if I did.
Let me put it another way...
(hisses)
Aah! Mr. chan! Young lady!
I'm delighted to see
you're all right.
I'm sure. The statue.
Oh, yes, yes. Of course.
I always felt it
belonged in a museum.
Here's chappy!
(Gasps)
(Both hiss and spit)
No. This is too dangerous
to be in a museum.
Uhh!
Wha... uhh!
The antidote lies within...
Within the statue itself!
Uhh!
Uhh!
Ow! Please get off!
I bruise easily!
Well, that was different.
The cat of Khartoum!
How could you?!
There's no use crying
over spilled milk.
Hey, Jackie!
What did you study
at Chinese opera?
Beginning, the teacher really
don't know what I'm good for.
I train everything... kicking, punch...
All kind of things.
Suddenly he find out I have a very...
pretty good voice.
(Sings Italian opera)
After that,
the opera is not famous anymore.
Then I'm back to training.
Almost whole day,
nonstop training
until 11:00, 12:00.
When I take off my
shoes, ooh, stink.
the garage sale.
What we are looking for is
most likely well-hidden, Jade.
According to an 18th century
text found in a museum,
this palace was the last known
home of the cat of Khartoum.
(Cat meows)
I think I hear it!
It is a statue, Jade,
not an actual...
(frustrated cries)
Oh, kitty! Got your little
leg all caught in palace junk?
(Meows)
You're welcome!
Hungry, girl?
So, what's your name?
Rrr-bbbeee rrr-bbbeee.
Ruby! Ha ha ha!
That tickles Ruby!
Odd. This tile is not as
weathered as the others.
Perhaps...
Ahh!
(Agitated yowls)
What's the matter, girl?
Booby trap!
Mayday!
(Both coughing)
Jade, are you...
Fine.
(Agitated yowl)
It's ok, Ruby.
That kind of stuff happens all the time
when you hang out with uncle Jackie.
(Gasps) The cat of Khartoum!
That's it?
Looks like something you buy
at a swap meet for a buck.
Worth quite a bit
more, young lady.
(Gasps) Valmont!
Thanks ever so for finding
the cat for me, chan.
Now hand it over!
No! It belongs to the museum!
Yeah, so step off!
We almost got pancaked
looking for that thing!
Please,
let's not compare hardships.
My men have been combing this
disgusting pig sty for the past 3 days,
searching for that kitty.
Aw! Ruined my best shirt!
It's your only shirt.
Oh, look at my shoes!
Soon as we collect the 20 large
for that kitty statue, I'm gonna...
Do put a sock in it, Finn.
Get that cat!
Hey! Maybe you haven't heard,
but possession is
nine-tenths of the law!
Yeah? And this here's
the other two-tenths!
You need to work on your math!
Yeah? Well,
my math's good enough to know
that 3-against-1
ain't very good odds!
Spare me the gladiator scene.
Just get the merchandise!
Yes! Keep your eye on the kitty!
Jade: Go, Jackie!
You hit 'em high,
I'll hit 'em...
Aah!
Low.
Ooh, he's got drapery!
What you gonna do, redecorate?
Yes! Hey! Wha-
(meows) Jackie!
Ruby! (Yowls)
Aah!
Ahh!
Ow!
Sharp little devil, aren't you?
Jade, wait here!
Ohh!
Valmont, this is very dangerous!
If we fall, we...
How do you do that?
It's all a matter of
balance, chan.
Case in point.
Uh-oh. Uhoh.
Whoa... uhh!
Aah!
(Sighs)
No way.
Fantastic!
I've never felt so alive!
Something about this
statue, chan.
It's good luck!
Good luck or bad magic?
This cafe is owned
by Cardiff zendo,
the largest collector of
art objects in tangiers,
(whispers) And known as
a very shady character.
Thank you.
I suspect valmont and company
will be showing up any time now
to conduct their... Business.
And then we take back the cat.
Right, Ruby?
(Meows)
Jade, you cannot bring an
animal into a public restaurant!
It's not hygienic!
Jackie, cats are very clean.
(Cell phone rings)
Is that you, uncle?
No! It is a magazine salesman
calling you at 5:00 in morning.
Oh! Sorry.
It's almost lunchtime here.
Uncle has been researching
the cat of Khartoum.
Yes, and did you discover
any unusual legends or...
Getting to that!
According to legend,
anyone who gets scratched
by claw of statue...
Becomes like a cat himself.
Ooh! You already know so much,
why you bother me?
There is one thing I do not
know, uncle.
What is the antidote?
Antidote?!
Do not get scratched by claw of cat!
I mean,
how do you reverse the process?
Or, are you getting to that?
No. Getting to bed.
Call you back later.
(Valmont slurping)
Dude, check it out.
Ahh!
Want a little coffee with
your cream there, big v?
I'll give him one thing...
He's very tidy.
I say we collect the dough
for this thing pronto,
get valmont to a doctor.
Maybe there's some kind of cure.
Don't you mean a veterinarian?
(Both stifle laughter)
I heard that.
In fact, my hearing
has become quite acute.
There is no cure because
this is not a disease.
It's a transformation...
And I rather like the new me.
Besides,
why sell to Cardiff zendo
for a mere 20 large?
This little kitty
should go to market,
where we can auction it
off to the highest bidder,
or better yet... Hmm.
(Chuckles)
Uh, you got a hairball, boss?
An inspiration.
Obviously,
it was a scratch from tabby here
that changed me into the glorious
specimen you now see before you.
Why not use her to create
others like myself?
Stealth, cunning,
and the agility of a cat!
Just one tiny scratch
away, boys.
We'll be able to steal
every treasure in the world!
We? We?
(Chuckles)
(Meows) Tassels!
I never realized what
pleasure they can give!
So, what do you say?
9 lifetimes of playing
with yarn balls.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Ditto.
Perhaps in time
you'll come to see
how wonderful the
feline life can be!
(Meows)
Excuse me, but there's a
phone call for you, monsieur.
For me?
Yes.
You may take it in the back.
Perhaps uncle couldn't
reach me by cell phone.
Whatever.
Ha ha ha!
Hello?
Rrarr!
Did you want to use the phone?
Uhh!
Uhh! Rrarr!
Mayday! Mayday!
Aah! Sorry.
I really should be
getting back to... whoa!
Ehh! Uhh! Ehh!
Pillow fight?
Aah!
Heh heh!
Uhh!
You are going to be
in big trouble...
With the phone company.
Rrarr! Ohh!
Thank you.
(Chuckles) It is I who
should be grateful, Mr. chan.
That display case you
nearly plowed into
contains many
priceless objet d'art.
You are Cardiff zendo.
So I am!
My treasures,
and soon joining them,
the most marvelous
collectible of all...
The cat of Khartoum.
But a little birdie tells me you
are after the statue as well.
Yes, and I am sure my niece
has located it by now.
If you like,
I will go and find her, and...
That won't be necessary.
Get your hands off me or I'll...
I'll...
You don't even want to know!
Let her go!
Yes, do let her go.
(Meows)
You have just given me the most
delightful idea, Mr. chan...
One that will
benefit us mutually.
What?
Based upon the late
hour, I can only surmise
that Mr. valmont has had second
thoughts about our little transaction.
Your niece will find him
and fetch me the statue.
In exchange,
you get your freedom.
No! It is too dangerous!
I'll give you, say,
an hour to complete the task...
That is, if you ever want
to see your uncle again.
Don't worry, Jackie.
I'll nab that tabby.
Please, Jade.
Be very careful of the statue's claws.
Hey, I know my way around a cat.
(Whistles)
You touch one hair
on Jackie's head,
you're gonna have
to answer to me!
(Chuckles) Spunky.
Lock him up.
Heh.
So, how long have you gentlemen
been in the restaurant business?
(Cell phone rings)
Oh. I have to take this.
Nice chatting with you.
Uncle?
No. Irish sweepstakes.
You win a million bucks!
Please, uncle.
I need to know about the...
Getting to that!
Old Moroccan legend of cat
statue speaks of a proverb...
"the antidote to the
cat curse lies within."
Lies within?
Lies within whom, uncle?
No idea. Sounds like fortune
cookie nonsense to me.
Naptime. Good-bye.
Why'd he bring us here?
Said it was supposed
to be a big score.
It's a crummy factory.
(Sniffs)
Tcha, with a vault.
I'm starting to like
the new valmont.
He's thinking bigger,
working new angles.
Sweet!
(Purrs)
Good girl, Ruby! You found him.
Lassie's got nothing on you!
A cow factory?
Oh, big v, that is so gross!
Yeah, and all that cholesterol!
(Meowing)
Shh! They'll hear us!
What is it, girl?
(Slurps)
Oh, that's nothing
to worry about.
Just a big old tub of...
cream! Duh!
That's the trail
you were following.
Whatever.
You still found valmont.
Be back in 2 shakes of a tail.
(Slurps)
(Sniffs)
(Growls)
We have us a cat burglar.
Time to scat, cat!
(Hisses)
Whoa!
(Yowls)
Cats hate water.
(Meows)
Don't worry, Ruby.
I won't let you get...
Hey, let me go!
(Yowling)
Hey! Cut it out!
Aah! Uhh!
(Rip)
Ow! You owe me for
a new pair of jeans!
Ok, you've got your statue.
Finally! The cat of Khartoum!
Mine!
Yes! And without having to
spend a penny to acquire it!
Oh! I was not,
of course, implying
that you're cheap, Mr. zendo.
(Nervous laugh)
You'll find your uncle in the
supply closet off the hall.
No hard feelings,
my impressive young friend.
Jade!
Told you I'd find the statue.
I'm just glad you are unharmed.
Why wouldn't I be?
Now, let's get the plaster cat
back from that zendo creep!
You wait here, please!
I suspect zendo will not
surrender the cat easily.
Mmm! (Slurps) Mmm!
Got evaporated milk?
(Gasps) Those
claws, those teeth!
Yes. The artistry is marvelous.
(Gasps)
Zendo: Valmont!
Oh, dear. Look at the time.
I must go do that thing...
That I must go do.
(Snarling) Oh!
How delightful to see you!
Yes.
I was absolutely beside myself
to hear of how that
awful little scamp
stole the statue before
you and I had a chance
to complete our transaction.
Grrr!
But, of course,
you want your money.
20 large, as agreed.
Count it if you like.
I just did.
Now, then,
there is one more thing I require...
My statue!
But I paid for it!
It's mine!
No! It belongs to the museum!
And you belong to me, rat!
Jade: Think again, katman-don't!
(Hisses)
Oh! Jade!
Hah!
You... you were
scratched by the statue!
They were old jeans, anywho.
Oh, you mean the
turning-into- a-cat thing?
I was wondering about that.
(Valmont and Jade hiss)
Whoa. Cat fight.
Forget them! Get chan!
Aah!
No! (Gasps)
Babylonian urn!
What's a babylonian urn?
Probably more than we do!
Here, kitty kitty.
(Hissing)
(Jackie grunting)
Ow! - Uhh! - Ohh!
Uhh! Uhh!
When in tangiers,
beware of flying carpets.
(Ruby meows)
(Gasps) Jade?
Wha...
(grunts)
Uhh!
(Snarls)
Whoa! A mouse!
Mouse?
Uhh!
(Groans)
I think the words you're
looking for are, "me-ow."
Nobody messes with Jade,
queen of the jungle cats.
(Hisses)
Jade, you're not a jungle cat.
I know that, Jackie. Hello!
And I know I've
got to change back,
so how do I do it?
Um...
What'd uncle say?
He said,
"the antidote lies within."
Sounds like fortune
cookie talk to me.
He said that, too.
Perhaps the statue
itself has some writing,
some clue as to how
to undo the curse.
We must find zendo.
(Plant rustles)
(Nervous laugh)
Where's zendo?
I don't know.
Truly I would tell you if I did.
Let me put it another way...
(hisses)
Aah! Mr. chan! Young lady!
I'm delighted to see
you're all right.
I'm sure. The statue.
Oh, yes, yes. Of course.
I always felt it
belonged in a museum.
Here's chappy!
(Gasps)
(Both hiss and spit)
No. This is too dangerous
to be in a museum.
Uhh!
Wha... uhh!
The antidote lies within...
Within the statue itself!
Uhh!
Uhh!
Ow! Please get off!
I bruise easily!
Well, that was different.
The cat of Khartoum!
How could you?!
There's no use crying
over spilled milk.
Hey, Jackie!
What did you study
at Chinese opera?
Beginning, the teacher really
don't know what I'm good for.
I train everything... kicking, punch...
All kind of things.
Suddenly he find out I have a very...
pretty good voice.
(Sings Italian opera)
After that,
the opera is not famous anymore.
Then I'm back to training.
Almost whole day,
nonstop training
until 11:00, 12:00.
When I take off my
shoes, ooh, stink.