Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005): Season 2, Episode 23 - Into the Mouth of Evil - full transcript
Jackie is asked to deliver some photos to a colleague's friend in India. But it's a ploy to deliver something else
Jackie: Ahem. Uh...
I am here to see Mr. jambah.
The curator?
He asked if I would
pick up some photos
to deliver to a colleague of his
at the archeology
conference in Calcutta.
Eh... Which I will be
flying to in 2 hours.
If you could call
him, please, for...
(snores)
The museum directors
must feel very secure
knowing you are on the job.
Mr. jambah?
Hello?
Man: You know why we have come.
Where are the sutras
of rachtajhiba?
Man: Tell your master I
know nothing about them.
You speak lies!
Jackie, help! Thieves!
Stop! Stay where you are,
nobody gets hurt.
This does not concern you.
Leave here!
Mr. jambah is a
respected colleague.
You leave!
Oh, you are yoga masters.
Nonviolent.
But I thought yoga was
to promote peace within.
Ooh...
I am still standing.
Oh... Oh!
Ahh.
Jackie! Oh!
Jackie, a thousand apologies.
It's ok. I am fine.
Ow... Ooh.
Oh, I've done you
a terrible wrong.
You are hurt.
Those men. Who were they?
Thieves. Very bad men.
They mentioned the
sutras of rachta...
Rachtajhiba,
an ancient evil text
said to possess great
destructive power.
To think I would even permit
such an unpleasant artifact
to be included in my collection
is beyond ridiculous.
And impossible, because you see,
the sutras of rachtajhiba
are mere legend.
Oh. Perhaps we should get
you some medical attention.
No. I'm fine. Really.
(Moans) Oh... Oh...
The photos you wanted
me to bring to India?
Oh, yes! My colleague
from the British museum
will be meeting you
at the conference.
You are very kind
to do this for me.
It is my... ah! Pain.
Oh, you are coming with me
to see my dentist Dr. Webber.
He is very gentle.
Thank you.
Flying is disagreeable enough,
even without having to
suffer a painful mouth.
Man: Where are the sutras?
Mohajah, I...
(man thinking) We have
disappointed our master.
We are not worthy.
You return empty-handed?
But, mohajah,
we were outnumbered.
Concentrate.
Mustn't allow mohajah to read my mind
or he will know we
were defeated by...
Tell me of this one man
who bested 3 disciples.
Well,
I'm afraid you're going to need
a complete jaw
transplant, Mr. chan.
Huh?!
Ha ha ha! Just kidding!
You simply have a
displaced filling.
We'll have you
fixed up in no time.
Elisa, prepare a shot of
novocaine, please.
Uh... I don't like needles.
Oh... Well...
I could drill
without numbing you.
(Gulps) Ok. Numbing, please.
Ha ha ha.
One new filling coming right up.
If jambah or one
of his accomplices
is to return to India
with the sutras,
he must pass through here.
(Muffled speech)
Good-bye, uncle.
We'll be back on thurday.
I cannot understand a
word you are saying.
His mouth's still
numb from the dentist.
He said if the school sends over
any homework, it's a mistake.
Just toss it.
No! I did-ent. I thaid...
No, no, don't talk! Listen!
Make sure not to forget
to pick up spices
for uncle in Calcutta.
Yeth, uncle.
Curry powder.
I wrote ID down. Thee?
That is the man
from the museum...
Jambah's colleague.
(Beeping)
(Beep beep beep)
Oh, ah got a new fillin' today.
Shee?
I must move closer,
read his mind.
Here's your ticket, Jade.
It's so cool you're
taking me along
on this once-in-a-lifetime
educational experience, uncle Jackie.
(Thinking) Three whole days...
no school! Yes!
Ah mith you, uncle.
(Thinking) I'll miss you, uncle.
An' don' worry...
I won' forget da curry powder.
You are a good nephew.
(Thinking) Ah!
Jackie will forget!
He always forgets!
There are too many minds here.
(Gasps)
The sutras of rachtajhiba...
I know you have them.
Well, actually, had.
Jackie chan?!
Stop him!
Ah, I can. Speak clearly again.
Great. Now you can
chitchat with the eggheads.
Oh, first things first.
I am starving.
No, duh. You dribbled everything
you tried to eat on the plane.
Ow!
Oh, sorry.
I just had some
dental work done.
I am. So not with him.
Pardon me.
Would you be Mr. Jackie chan?
Oh, I would... Anytime.
I mean, yes.
Hmm. Portia martindale,
British museum.
And you have something I want.
I do?
The photographs from Mr. jambah.
Oh. Oh! Yes.
The light is so much
better out on the balcony.
Care to join me?
Ok.
Go, Jackie!
Mr. chan, may I just say...
Oh, please. Call me Jackie.
Jackie, I was so impressed
when I read how you discovered
that lost city in patagonia.
Oh, thank you.
I was very lucky.
I had a very good map.
Mmm, and he's humble, too.
Oh, so clumsy!
Oh, please. Allow me.
There is the signal.
Thank you, Jackie.
You know, it's so very nice out,
I feel like a walk.
How about you?
Oh, that would be...
(woman screaming)
Nice to meet you.
Good-bye. Thank you.
Excuse me. Oh, sorry.
Pardon me.
Jade, return to the hotel room!
Didn't say "please."
Sorry! I'll bring it back!
Thank you!
Got him.
In my sights, gentlemen.
Why do you keep chasing me?
Oh!
Aah! Oof!
Hey, you! Pay first!
Whoa! Dumbo, heel! Please!
He's traveling by elephant,
the bazaar in the medan.
(Screaming)
Oh! Ow!
My tooth! No shock absorbers!
Yeow! Oof!
(Cell phone rings)
Hello?
Ah, Jackie,
do not forget curry powder.
Ok, uncle. I took care of it.
Have to go. Bye.
Sorry about your shop.
Send me your bill. Thank you!
(Groans)
(Grunts)
Huh?
Jambah?
Miss martindale!
Dr. weber? I don't understand.
Oh, you will in a moment.
A little novocaine
to ease the pain?
Oh, don't bother, portia.
Mr. chan hates needles.
Ha ha ha.
No. Please!
Don't!
There now.
That wasn't so bad, was it?
Yes, it was.
I suppose we owe you an
explanation, Jackie.
You heard of the sutras
of rachtajhiba, yes?
Only at your museum.
You said they were
just a legend.
I lied.
You see,
the sutras do very much exist.
In my filling!
Magnificent, are they not?
A 3,000-word incantation
painstakingly inscribed
by skilled sorcerers
onto a piece of silver
no larger than a
grain of basmati rice.
Legend foretells that when the
sutras are returned to the Ganges,
the river will dry up.
Oh, that would be...
So those thieves who
have been after me...
You have been
trying to stop them!
Well... No.
Actually,
they've been trying to stop us.
They are not truly
thieves, you see.
They are disciples of mohajah.
Who? Oh, a do-gooder mystic...
A psychic.
Claims his mission is to
protect India from evil magic.
Mohajah suspected I was in
possession of the sutras
and was planning to
transport them here to India.
But none of us could carry the sutras
without the mohajah knowing it.
That mind-reading power of his...
oh!
Real nuisance.
So you had to find a courier
who did not know he was
carrying the sutras.
Me.
We do so appreciate your
help, Jackie.
But that means you want to
dry up the Ganges river. Why?!
Have you no sense of
vision, man?
Do you not realize what
treasures lie on the riverbed?
Centuries worth of
artifacts, silver, gold,
riches beyond measure
there for the taking!
But millions of people
depend upon the river
for farming and travel and...
(gasps) Lives will be destroyed!
Oh, Jackie's a bit
of a sentimentalist.
So sweet, but, really,
one must have priorities.
We're talking about the archeological
event of the millennium.
If a few people must
be inconvenienced,
(hums)
You are bad people...
all of you!
Ah, yes.
Soon to be very rich people.
(Grunts)
Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt.
Jade?! I told you to go
back to the hotel room.
Lost my key.
Ok, now, let the chan man go.
Dr. weber,
give the child a lollipop.
Don't sucker me, sucker! Hyah!
Stand back, or I'll...
Dribble?
Jade, the other one!
Ha! Your plan to
destroy a million lives
has gone down the drain.
Yes! The drain...
Which leads to the sewers...
Which flow directly
into the Ganges river.
Aah! Jade! We have to...
As you were.
Care to tell them what a
full-on blast of X-ray radiation
will do to one's internal
organs, Dr. weber?
Ha ha ha. Well,
those lead aprons we provide our patients
are not frivolous accessories.
So let's all just sit tight
and let the sewer do its
work, shall we?
Uh, Jackie, did you remember
to get uncle's curry powder?
Yes, Jade,
but now is not the time to...
Uncle's curry powder... yes.
Right... Here!
(Sneezing and coughing)
We must find a way into...
there!
Ugh!
Finding a tiny piece of
silver in all of this...
This... this yuck!
Oh! Follow the current!
What if we stop the current?
(Groans)
Jade, no!
Whoa!
Aaah! Aaah!
(Screaming)
Jade: Look!
(Gasps) The opening
to the river!
I only hope we are not too late.
I see it!
Ugh!
Bottle cap. Heh.
Hmm? That chanting...
It's coming from the sutras,
as if they sense the river is...
(gasps)
Oh!
Aaah!
Yes!
Jade!
I know. I am good.
Behind you!
The sutras...
I will be taking them now.
You'll have to pry 'em out of my
wet, cold, yucky fingers.
Whoa. I am good.
They cannot move.
Mind control.
The sutras, please.
Oh, no, you don't!
(Grunting) It is all
right, Jade.
They are the good guys.
(Whispering) You sure?
He's got this whole
Spock mind-meld
scanner thing happening.
Thank you, Jackie chan.
My disciples and I shall ensure
that the sutras
remain safe from those
who would use them for evil.
You are welcome.
Aah! Very bad toothache.
Huh? My toothache... It's gone.
Power of the mind.
Hey, uh, think you could
do some power of the mind
to remove the yuck
from my shoes?
(Cell phone rings)
My cell phone!
It is your uncle
reminding you to bring
home curry powder.
That is... Amazing.
There is one more
thing that he desires.
Though I am not quite
sure I understand.
Ow!
Hey, Jackie!
Yes?
Where do you get the
ideas for your stunts?
So many years I've
been doing action films
I really, like, school myself.
Study every movie,
every Bruce Lee film,
Stallone film, everybody.
I've been thinking,
punch or kicking all same.
Sometimes just boring.
The props really help me a lot.
Situation, props,
and different country,
different culture,
different background...
They all help me.
They all help me to doing a stunt.
Yeah.
I am here to see Mr. jambah.
The curator?
He asked if I would
pick up some photos
to deliver to a colleague of his
at the archeology
conference in Calcutta.
Eh... Which I will be
flying to in 2 hours.
If you could call
him, please, for...
(snores)
The museum directors
must feel very secure
knowing you are on the job.
Mr. jambah?
Hello?
Man: You know why we have come.
Where are the sutras
of rachtajhiba?
Man: Tell your master I
know nothing about them.
You speak lies!
Jackie, help! Thieves!
Stop! Stay where you are,
nobody gets hurt.
This does not concern you.
Leave here!
Mr. jambah is a
respected colleague.
You leave!
Oh, you are yoga masters.
Nonviolent.
But I thought yoga was
to promote peace within.
Ooh...
I am still standing.
Oh... Oh!
Ahh.
Jackie! Oh!
Jackie, a thousand apologies.
It's ok. I am fine.
Ow... Ooh.
Oh, I've done you
a terrible wrong.
You are hurt.
Those men. Who were they?
Thieves. Very bad men.
They mentioned the
sutras of rachta...
Rachtajhiba,
an ancient evil text
said to possess great
destructive power.
To think I would even permit
such an unpleasant artifact
to be included in my collection
is beyond ridiculous.
And impossible, because you see,
the sutras of rachtajhiba
are mere legend.
Oh. Perhaps we should get
you some medical attention.
No. I'm fine. Really.
(Moans) Oh... Oh...
The photos you wanted
me to bring to India?
Oh, yes! My colleague
from the British museum
will be meeting you
at the conference.
You are very kind
to do this for me.
It is my... ah! Pain.
Oh, you are coming with me
to see my dentist Dr. Webber.
He is very gentle.
Thank you.
Flying is disagreeable enough,
even without having to
suffer a painful mouth.
Man: Where are the sutras?
Mohajah, I...
(man thinking) We have
disappointed our master.
We are not worthy.
You return empty-handed?
But, mohajah,
we were outnumbered.
Concentrate.
Mustn't allow mohajah to read my mind
or he will know we
were defeated by...
Tell me of this one man
who bested 3 disciples.
Well,
I'm afraid you're going to need
a complete jaw
transplant, Mr. chan.
Huh?!
Ha ha ha! Just kidding!
You simply have a
displaced filling.
We'll have you
fixed up in no time.
Elisa, prepare a shot of
novocaine, please.
Uh... I don't like needles.
Oh... Well...
I could drill
without numbing you.
(Gulps) Ok. Numbing, please.
Ha ha ha.
One new filling coming right up.
If jambah or one
of his accomplices
is to return to India
with the sutras,
he must pass through here.
(Muffled speech)
Good-bye, uncle.
We'll be back on thurday.
I cannot understand a
word you are saying.
His mouth's still
numb from the dentist.
He said if the school sends over
any homework, it's a mistake.
Just toss it.
No! I did-ent. I thaid...
No, no, don't talk! Listen!
Make sure not to forget
to pick up spices
for uncle in Calcutta.
Yeth, uncle.
Curry powder.
I wrote ID down. Thee?
That is the man
from the museum...
Jambah's colleague.
(Beeping)
(Beep beep beep)
Oh, ah got a new fillin' today.
Shee?
I must move closer,
read his mind.
Here's your ticket, Jade.
It's so cool you're
taking me along
on this once-in-a-lifetime
educational experience, uncle Jackie.
(Thinking) Three whole days...
no school! Yes!
Ah mith you, uncle.
(Thinking) I'll miss you, uncle.
An' don' worry...
I won' forget da curry powder.
You are a good nephew.
(Thinking) Ah!
Jackie will forget!
He always forgets!
There are too many minds here.
(Gasps)
The sutras of rachtajhiba...
I know you have them.
Well, actually, had.
Jackie chan?!
Stop him!
Ah, I can. Speak clearly again.
Great. Now you can
chitchat with the eggheads.
Oh, first things first.
I am starving.
No, duh. You dribbled everything
you tried to eat on the plane.
Ow!
Oh, sorry.
I just had some
dental work done.
I am. So not with him.
Pardon me.
Would you be Mr. Jackie chan?
Oh, I would... Anytime.
I mean, yes.
Hmm. Portia martindale,
British museum.
And you have something I want.
I do?
The photographs from Mr. jambah.
Oh. Oh! Yes.
The light is so much
better out on the balcony.
Care to join me?
Ok.
Go, Jackie!
Mr. chan, may I just say...
Oh, please. Call me Jackie.
Jackie, I was so impressed
when I read how you discovered
that lost city in patagonia.
Oh, thank you.
I was very lucky.
I had a very good map.
Mmm, and he's humble, too.
Oh, so clumsy!
Oh, please. Allow me.
There is the signal.
Thank you, Jackie.
You know, it's so very nice out,
I feel like a walk.
How about you?
Oh, that would be...
(woman screaming)
Nice to meet you.
Good-bye. Thank you.
Excuse me. Oh, sorry.
Pardon me.
Jade, return to the hotel room!
Didn't say "please."
Sorry! I'll bring it back!
Thank you!
Got him.
In my sights, gentlemen.
Why do you keep chasing me?
Oh!
Aah! Oof!
Hey, you! Pay first!
Whoa! Dumbo, heel! Please!
He's traveling by elephant,
the bazaar in the medan.
(Screaming)
Oh! Ow!
My tooth! No shock absorbers!
Yeow! Oof!
(Cell phone rings)
Hello?
Ah, Jackie,
do not forget curry powder.
Ok, uncle. I took care of it.
Have to go. Bye.
Sorry about your shop.
Send me your bill. Thank you!
(Groans)
(Grunts)
Huh?
Jambah?
Miss martindale!
Dr. weber? I don't understand.
Oh, you will in a moment.
A little novocaine
to ease the pain?
Oh, don't bother, portia.
Mr. chan hates needles.
Ha ha ha.
No. Please!
Don't!
There now.
That wasn't so bad, was it?
Yes, it was.
I suppose we owe you an
explanation, Jackie.
You heard of the sutras
of rachtajhiba, yes?
Only at your museum.
You said they were
just a legend.
I lied.
You see,
the sutras do very much exist.
In my filling!
Magnificent, are they not?
A 3,000-word incantation
painstakingly inscribed
by skilled sorcerers
onto a piece of silver
no larger than a
grain of basmati rice.
Legend foretells that when the
sutras are returned to the Ganges,
the river will dry up.
Oh, that would be...
So those thieves who
have been after me...
You have been
trying to stop them!
Well... No.
Actually,
they've been trying to stop us.
They are not truly
thieves, you see.
They are disciples of mohajah.
Who? Oh, a do-gooder mystic...
A psychic.
Claims his mission is to
protect India from evil magic.
Mohajah suspected I was in
possession of the sutras
and was planning to
transport them here to India.
But none of us could carry the sutras
without the mohajah knowing it.
That mind-reading power of his...
oh!
Real nuisance.
So you had to find a courier
who did not know he was
carrying the sutras.
Me.
We do so appreciate your
help, Jackie.
But that means you want to
dry up the Ganges river. Why?!
Have you no sense of
vision, man?
Do you not realize what
treasures lie on the riverbed?
Centuries worth of
artifacts, silver, gold,
riches beyond measure
there for the taking!
But millions of people
depend upon the river
for farming and travel and...
(gasps) Lives will be destroyed!
Oh, Jackie's a bit
of a sentimentalist.
So sweet, but, really,
one must have priorities.
We're talking about the archeological
event of the millennium.
If a few people must
be inconvenienced,
(hums)
You are bad people...
all of you!
Ah, yes.
Soon to be very rich people.
(Grunts)
Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt.
Jade?! I told you to go
back to the hotel room.
Lost my key.
Ok, now, let the chan man go.
Dr. weber,
give the child a lollipop.
Don't sucker me, sucker! Hyah!
Stand back, or I'll...
Dribble?
Jade, the other one!
Ha! Your plan to
destroy a million lives
has gone down the drain.
Yes! The drain...
Which leads to the sewers...
Which flow directly
into the Ganges river.
Aah! Jade! We have to...
As you were.
Care to tell them what a
full-on blast of X-ray radiation
will do to one's internal
organs, Dr. weber?
Ha ha ha. Well,
those lead aprons we provide our patients
are not frivolous accessories.
So let's all just sit tight
and let the sewer do its
work, shall we?
Uh, Jackie, did you remember
to get uncle's curry powder?
Yes, Jade,
but now is not the time to...
Uncle's curry powder... yes.
Right... Here!
(Sneezing and coughing)
We must find a way into...
there!
Ugh!
Finding a tiny piece of
silver in all of this...
This... this yuck!
Oh! Follow the current!
What if we stop the current?
(Groans)
Jade, no!
Whoa!
Aaah! Aaah!
(Screaming)
Jade: Look!
(Gasps) The opening
to the river!
I only hope we are not too late.
I see it!
Ugh!
Bottle cap. Heh.
Hmm? That chanting...
It's coming from the sutras,
as if they sense the river is...
(gasps)
Oh!
Aaah!
Yes!
Jade!
I know. I am good.
Behind you!
The sutras...
I will be taking them now.
You'll have to pry 'em out of my
wet, cold, yucky fingers.
Whoa. I am good.
They cannot move.
Mind control.
The sutras, please.
Oh, no, you don't!
(Grunting) It is all
right, Jade.
They are the good guys.
(Whispering) You sure?
He's got this whole
Spock mind-meld
scanner thing happening.
Thank you, Jackie chan.
My disciples and I shall ensure
that the sutras
remain safe from those
who would use them for evil.
You are welcome.
Aah! Very bad toothache.
Huh? My toothache... It's gone.
Power of the mind.
Hey, uh, think you could
do some power of the mind
to remove the yuck
from my shoes?
(Cell phone rings)
My cell phone!
It is your uncle
reminding you to bring
home curry powder.
That is... Amazing.
There is one more
thing that he desires.
Though I am not quite
sure I understand.
Ow!
Hey, Jackie!
Yes?
Where do you get the
ideas for your stunts?
So many years I've
been doing action films
I really, like, school myself.
Study every movie,
every Bruce Lee film,
Stallone film, everybody.
I've been thinking,
punch or kicking all same.
Sometimes just boring.
The props really help me a lot.
Situation, props,
and different country,
different culture,
different background...
They all help me.
They all help me to doing a stunt.
Yeah.