Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005): Season 2, Episode 22 - Danger in the Deep Freeze - full transcript
The museum asks Jackie to help someone who claims to have made a major discovery in the arctic circle.
Jackie: And 3 days ago,
Paul connell notified the museum
that he had made
a major discovery.
Yeah, well,
I made a major discovery, too.
You can get frostbite
on your butt.
Mr.
connell described his find as
a prehistoric humanoid
frozen in the ice.
Whoa! A caveman!
That was the last the
museum heard from him.
I suspect. that connell
and his inuit laborers got-
Eaten?
Frightened.
That would explain
why there was nobody
at the research lab
when we arrived there.
This place could
creep anyone out.
We must enter the cave with...
Flashlights!
Respect.
Jade: Whoa.
(Gasps)
Yes, whoa.
We must bring it back
to the lab for study.
Look at his expression.
I wonder what was
going through his mind.
(Gasps)
Look out behind you.
Yes, perhaps.
No. I mean, look out behind you.
(All grunting)
(All grunting)
Please, we mean you no harm.
I am an archeologist.
This creature is an important
scientific discovery.
I'm only taking him to our lab
for further study, ok?
(Man grunts)
You have disturbed that which
should not be disturbed.
Jade, get on the sled.
Ahh. Are those boots elk skin?
Moose.
(Grunts)
Oh.
Sorry.
Jade: Jackie!
Good dogs! Mush!
(Grunts)
Whoa!
Pretty good save, huh?
Yes, but Jade,
could you...
Just wait till tohru and uncle
get a load of ice guy.
They're gonna freak!
Jade!
What did you say?
Uh-oh.
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Bad day, bad day!
Oh...
Save number 2. I rule.
Yes. And from now on,
I drive.
Oh. Jackie,
why you turn temperature down?
You want us to wind up like him?
It is important to keep
the specimen frozen
for preservation purposes.
Sorry, old timer.
Guess it's another
cold night for you.
I found something!
It is some sort of
tribal artifact.
There are markings.
That your I.D.
Bracelet, big fella?
Hmm...
Ancient inuit hieroglyphics.
What does it mean, uncle? Ow!
It means quiet!
I must study.
(Snoring)
I believe little man
symbol represents day.
Bird represents life.
Huh...
Translation difficult
under these conditions.
(Yawns) Without sleep.
Without tea!
And this is a tree.
They had those back in your
day, too.
Just not locally.
And these are snow tires.
(Yawns)
Jade, why are you still awake?
Because I'm not sleeping?
(Yawns)
Finish translations in morning.
Good idea. Jade?
Soon.
Gonna show him some ads
for snowboarding equipment
so what is this, ice guy?
Your grocery list or something?
Hmm...
Ok, so here's what I got.
"When cold turns to heat,
"uh, something will arise.
"When night turns to day,
blah, blah, will run free."
(Sighs)
Ok, I give up. What's it mean?
(Gasps)
Did you just...
Are you...
(Snoring)
Oh...
Huh?
90 degrees?
Uncle!
Aah! Huh.
Feels like we are
back in San Francisco.
Why did you adjust
the thermostat?
I did no such thing.
Tohru, did you turn up the heat?
Heat? What heat?
(Gasps)
The specimen!
Ice man has risen!
Bad omen.
Frozen prehistoric creatures
do not just walk away.
I suspect someone
broke in and...
(loud grunt)
Aye-yah!
Jade!
(Gasps)
I do not believe it.
Me neither.
Jade, you found cereal.
Sorry, all gone.
Guess a couple of thousand
years in the deep freeze
will give a guy an appetite.
(Burps)
Jade, what have you done?
Defrosted him.
Didn't I, Duane?
Duane?
Named him after a friend's dad.
He's got this real hairy
back, and...
Jade,
this is not a
cute, furry animal.
This prehistoric pre-humanoid
could be very dangerous.
Come on, Jackie.
Duane is totally mellow.
(Burps)
Ok, so he could use
come table manners,
but that's where I come in.
I can teach him
all kinds of stuff.
Wait till I show you TV, Duane.
Cable toon channel's
gonna blow your mind!
You will not show him anything.
He does not belong here.
He should be...
On ice!
(Grunts)
(Screaming)
(Growls)
Nice going, uncle Jackie.
You hurt his feelings.
We gotta find Duane.
He's been out of circulation
for a couple thousand years.
He could get lost or hurt.
Or hurt someone else.
There he is!
Strange.
The inuit is using fish
to lure the ice man.
Duane likes fish, remember?
It's tohru who hates fish.
But the inuits seem
terrified of the creature.
Why would they...
(engine roaring)
(Gasps)
Both: Avalanche!
Aah!
Both: Aah!
(Grunts)
(Gasps)
(Whistles)
(Both grunting)
Good dogs! Mush!
(Craaaash)
(Avalanche stops)
Both: Whew!
Ahh...
You really are
man's best friend.
That was... Kind of cool,
except for, you know,
the part about almost
getting crushed.
I suspect the avalanche
was no accident.
There was a snowmobile
atop the glacier.
(Gasps) Someone is coming!
Uncle?
What are you doing here?
Ice fishing.
Uncle finish translation.
Tell story of ice man.
One more thing...
He's not dangerous.
Told you.
Maybe the ice creature
is not dangerous,
but whoever kidnapped him is.
Come, uncle. I may need you.
Oh...
Uncle never gets to
do what he wants.
(Indistinct murmuring)
No sign of our caveman.
Hey, there's the guy who
tried to shishkabob us.
Bet you he's got Duane
locked up in his tent.
I will sneak around the back.
You 2 wait here.
(Scoffs)
Jackie gets to go to a
nice, warm tent.
Leaves us here to freeze.
Always thinking of himself.
Come.
Need to work on your
sneaking around.
Inuits can hear
footsteps in snow
a mile away.
That so?
Uncle, Jade!
I told you to...
We are not armed...
But that doesn't mean
we won't go polar on your butt
if you don't hand over Duane.
Jade, please.
She means the prehistoric
cave creature.
No such creature here.
Oh, so maybe your
sister has big feet?
My sister has tiny feet.
She is delicate like a bird.
Come inside.
Ancient legend tells
of an evil snow spirit
who many moons past
rained ice upon the world.
Would have frozen
the whole planet
if inuit ancestors
had not defeated him.
And that's what you think
the creature we excavated is?
A "snow spirit?"
Mmm...
Must be returned to the ice cave
before he destroys the world.
But Duane isn't an evil spirit.
He's sweet. He eats cereal.
Child speaks truth.
Ice man not evil.
Not even a spirit.
I am not familiar
with this legend.
Where did you hear of it?
From the great shaman.
Only last week, he foretold
the evil spirit's return.
Bah... Shaman.
You are superstitious old fool.
Takes one to know one.
Everything you say like glue...
Sticks back to you.
That does not even make sense.
Both of you,
please stop fighting.
Bah...
Artifact tells of how ice man
was trapped and frozen in cave.
Ancient inuits
tried to free him.
Could not, but foretold the day
he would once again
run free across tundra.
There you go.
If he was an evil spirit,
why would they try
to set him free?
Hmm...
You make a good point.
But the great shaman
says different.
Says it is an evil spirit,
and must be destroyed.
Where is this shaman?
Duane!
He's no shaman.
That is Peter Bailey,
a black marketeer.
He steal artifacts and sells
them to the highest bidder.
But the shaman has great powers.
He can speak to other shamans
across the sea through
a magical black box.
You mean like this?
It's called a cell phone. Hello?
Everybody's got one back
where we come from...
Except for me.
(Ringing)
Uncle: Uncle's antique.
Not here. Call back.
Hey!
Stop!
Many moons have passed.
Must return evil
spirit creature to ice.
You lie.
The ice man is harmless.
You believe them?
These are evil ones who
set evil spirit free.
That's just some phony
baloney legend you made up.
Maybe you want to
show me the trick
with the cell phone again.
He's got your number, Bailey.
Face!
You want to talk numbers, girly?
That hairy missing
link's worth 10 times
more than that junk
I came here for.
He's a living creature, not some...
Beanie.
You can't sell Duane.
Ha! Try and stop me, mates.
Uncle, watch Jade!
Jade?
Mush!
You fish?
What do you think?
I go to a drive-thru
burger place?
Ha ha! 6 dogs versus
a hundred horsepower?
Don't think so, pally.
Baah!
(Sighs)
Need less weight.
(Grunting)
Uh, hi.
What are you doing here?
Duane's my friend.
I thawed him out
and fed him and...
Too dangerous. Stay with tohru.
I found moose jerky.
Go! Go!
(Laughing)
Aah!
Go! Go!
Get along, little doggies!
Ahh.
(Grunts)
(Grunts)
Whoa! Oof.
Everyone ok?
Aah!
Aah!
Oof!
You're about to join
the polar Bear club,
pally, but hey,
look at the bright side.
Maybe someone will dig you up
in about a thousand years.
(Roaring)
Get back, you hairy beast!
I'm warning you!
(Growls)
Whaah!
No, please, help me!
I hear ice fishing is very good
this time of year.
Don't worry,
you're drifting east.
Should reach solid
ground in 2 days.
Hold tight, Jackie,
'cause it's Jade of
the north coming in
for one more save.
Too late.
I was already assisted by...
A friend.
Let's get this
gentleman onto the sled.
Then we'll head to the airport.
You want to take
Duane home with us?
He will be safe at section 13...
Placed under
observation, studied,
fed cereal.
Hello.
King Kong? Mighty Joe young?
We can't take Duane
back to civilization.
But I thought he
was your friend.
He is, and that's why
we got to leave him...
Here.
Ahh...
The Aurora borealis.
Northern lights.
The inscription!
"When night turns to day,
something...
something will run free."
I expect you are correct, Jade.
And also correct about
Duane staying here
in his natural habitat.
Go ahead, big guy.
Run. Be free.
Where is sensei?
(Gasps)
Uncle!
By now, probably at war
with the inuit elder.
Huh... My secret.
Anchovy, eh?
Baah! Catch nothing but minnows.
What do you fish with, worms?
Mung beans wrapped
in tea leaves.
Fish take a number
to get on hook.
Ahh...
Big talk, no action.
Ahh, see?
I got something.
(Grunting)
(Grunting)
So does uncle.
Big something!
Ha! See?
My bait gone.
Yours still on hook.
So what?
So, fish we lost was mine!
No, that was my fish.
My fish!
You're a liar!
My fish!
You cheated.
Hey, Jackie?
Do you miss your family
when you're off making movies?
My business is, uh,
very, very difficult,
because I'm so busy.
A location scout,
training, rehearsal.
The camera rolling.
The only things I know is
comedy, action.
Great stunts, great action.
Sometimes when I'm off camera,
take a break...
Then I do miss my family.
But what can I do?
Travel, travel, travel, travel.
Paul connell notified the museum
that he had made
a major discovery.
Yeah, well,
I made a major discovery, too.
You can get frostbite
on your butt.
Mr.
connell described his find as
a prehistoric humanoid
frozen in the ice.
Whoa! A caveman!
That was the last the
museum heard from him.
I suspect. that connell
and his inuit laborers got-
Eaten?
Frightened.
That would explain
why there was nobody
at the research lab
when we arrived there.
This place could
creep anyone out.
We must enter the cave with...
Flashlights!
Respect.
Jade: Whoa.
(Gasps)
Yes, whoa.
We must bring it back
to the lab for study.
Look at his expression.
I wonder what was
going through his mind.
(Gasps)
Look out behind you.
Yes, perhaps.
No. I mean, look out behind you.
(All grunting)
(All grunting)
Please, we mean you no harm.
I am an archeologist.
This creature is an important
scientific discovery.
I'm only taking him to our lab
for further study, ok?
(Man grunts)
You have disturbed that which
should not be disturbed.
Jade, get on the sled.
Ahh. Are those boots elk skin?
Moose.
(Grunts)
Oh.
Sorry.
Jade: Jackie!
Good dogs! Mush!
(Grunts)
Whoa!
Pretty good save, huh?
Yes, but Jade,
could you...
Just wait till tohru and uncle
get a load of ice guy.
They're gonna freak!
Jade!
What did you say?
Uh-oh.
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Bad day, bad day!
Oh...
Save number 2. I rule.
Yes. And from now on,
I drive.
Oh. Jackie,
why you turn temperature down?
You want us to wind up like him?
It is important to keep
the specimen frozen
for preservation purposes.
Sorry, old timer.
Guess it's another
cold night for you.
I found something!
It is some sort of
tribal artifact.
There are markings.
That your I.D.
Bracelet, big fella?
Hmm...
Ancient inuit hieroglyphics.
What does it mean, uncle? Ow!
It means quiet!
I must study.
(Snoring)
I believe little man
symbol represents day.
Bird represents life.
Huh...
Translation difficult
under these conditions.
(Yawns) Without sleep.
Without tea!
And this is a tree.
They had those back in your
day, too.
Just not locally.
And these are snow tires.
(Yawns)
Jade, why are you still awake?
Because I'm not sleeping?
(Yawns)
Finish translations in morning.
Good idea. Jade?
Soon.
Gonna show him some ads
for snowboarding equipment
so what is this, ice guy?
Your grocery list or something?
Hmm...
Ok, so here's what I got.
"When cold turns to heat,
"uh, something will arise.
"When night turns to day,
blah, blah, will run free."
(Sighs)
Ok, I give up. What's it mean?
(Gasps)
Did you just...
Are you...
(Snoring)
Oh...
Huh?
90 degrees?
Uncle!
Aah! Huh.
Feels like we are
back in San Francisco.
Why did you adjust
the thermostat?
I did no such thing.
Tohru, did you turn up the heat?
Heat? What heat?
(Gasps)
The specimen!
Ice man has risen!
Bad omen.
Frozen prehistoric creatures
do not just walk away.
I suspect someone
broke in and...
(loud grunt)
Aye-yah!
Jade!
(Gasps)
I do not believe it.
Me neither.
Jade, you found cereal.
Sorry, all gone.
Guess a couple of thousand
years in the deep freeze
will give a guy an appetite.
(Burps)
Jade, what have you done?
Defrosted him.
Didn't I, Duane?
Duane?
Named him after a friend's dad.
He's got this real hairy
back, and...
Jade,
this is not a
cute, furry animal.
This prehistoric pre-humanoid
could be very dangerous.
Come on, Jackie.
Duane is totally mellow.
(Burps)
Ok, so he could use
come table manners,
but that's where I come in.
I can teach him
all kinds of stuff.
Wait till I show you TV, Duane.
Cable toon channel's
gonna blow your mind!
You will not show him anything.
He does not belong here.
He should be...
On ice!
(Grunts)
(Screaming)
(Growls)
Nice going, uncle Jackie.
You hurt his feelings.
We gotta find Duane.
He's been out of circulation
for a couple thousand years.
He could get lost or hurt.
Or hurt someone else.
There he is!
Strange.
The inuit is using fish
to lure the ice man.
Duane likes fish, remember?
It's tohru who hates fish.
But the inuits seem
terrified of the creature.
Why would they...
(engine roaring)
(Gasps)
Both: Avalanche!
Aah!
Both: Aah!
(Grunts)
(Gasps)
(Whistles)
(Both grunting)
Good dogs! Mush!
(Craaaash)
(Avalanche stops)
Both: Whew!
Ahh...
You really are
man's best friend.
That was... Kind of cool,
except for, you know,
the part about almost
getting crushed.
I suspect the avalanche
was no accident.
There was a snowmobile
atop the glacier.
(Gasps) Someone is coming!
Uncle?
What are you doing here?
Ice fishing.
Uncle finish translation.
Tell story of ice man.
One more thing...
He's not dangerous.
Told you.
Maybe the ice creature
is not dangerous,
but whoever kidnapped him is.
Come, uncle. I may need you.
Oh...
Uncle never gets to
do what he wants.
(Indistinct murmuring)
No sign of our caveman.
Hey, there's the guy who
tried to shishkabob us.
Bet you he's got Duane
locked up in his tent.
I will sneak around the back.
You 2 wait here.
(Scoffs)
Jackie gets to go to a
nice, warm tent.
Leaves us here to freeze.
Always thinking of himself.
Come.
Need to work on your
sneaking around.
Inuits can hear
footsteps in snow
a mile away.
That so?
Uncle, Jade!
I told you to...
We are not armed...
But that doesn't mean
we won't go polar on your butt
if you don't hand over Duane.
Jade, please.
She means the prehistoric
cave creature.
No such creature here.
Oh, so maybe your
sister has big feet?
My sister has tiny feet.
She is delicate like a bird.
Come inside.
Ancient legend tells
of an evil snow spirit
who many moons past
rained ice upon the world.
Would have frozen
the whole planet
if inuit ancestors
had not defeated him.
And that's what you think
the creature we excavated is?
A "snow spirit?"
Mmm...
Must be returned to the ice cave
before he destroys the world.
But Duane isn't an evil spirit.
He's sweet. He eats cereal.
Child speaks truth.
Ice man not evil.
Not even a spirit.
I am not familiar
with this legend.
Where did you hear of it?
From the great shaman.
Only last week, he foretold
the evil spirit's return.
Bah... Shaman.
You are superstitious old fool.
Takes one to know one.
Everything you say like glue...
Sticks back to you.
That does not even make sense.
Both of you,
please stop fighting.
Bah...
Artifact tells of how ice man
was trapped and frozen in cave.
Ancient inuits
tried to free him.
Could not, but foretold the day
he would once again
run free across tundra.
There you go.
If he was an evil spirit,
why would they try
to set him free?
Hmm...
You make a good point.
But the great shaman
says different.
Says it is an evil spirit,
and must be destroyed.
Where is this shaman?
Duane!
He's no shaman.
That is Peter Bailey,
a black marketeer.
He steal artifacts and sells
them to the highest bidder.
But the shaman has great powers.
He can speak to other shamans
across the sea through
a magical black box.
You mean like this?
It's called a cell phone. Hello?
Everybody's got one back
where we come from...
Except for me.
(Ringing)
Uncle: Uncle's antique.
Not here. Call back.
Hey!
Stop!
Many moons have passed.
Must return evil
spirit creature to ice.
You lie.
The ice man is harmless.
You believe them?
These are evil ones who
set evil spirit free.
That's just some phony
baloney legend you made up.
Maybe you want to
show me the trick
with the cell phone again.
He's got your number, Bailey.
Face!
You want to talk numbers, girly?
That hairy missing
link's worth 10 times
more than that junk
I came here for.
He's a living creature, not some...
Beanie.
You can't sell Duane.
Ha! Try and stop me, mates.
Uncle, watch Jade!
Jade?
Mush!
You fish?
What do you think?
I go to a drive-thru
burger place?
Ha ha! 6 dogs versus
a hundred horsepower?
Don't think so, pally.
Baah!
(Sighs)
Need less weight.
(Grunting)
Uh, hi.
What are you doing here?
Duane's my friend.
I thawed him out
and fed him and...
Too dangerous. Stay with tohru.
I found moose jerky.
Go! Go!
(Laughing)
Aah!
Go! Go!
Get along, little doggies!
Ahh.
(Grunts)
(Grunts)
Whoa! Oof.
Everyone ok?
Aah!
Aah!
Oof!
You're about to join
the polar Bear club,
pally, but hey,
look at the bright side.
Maybe someone will dig you up
in about a thousand years.
(Roaring)
Get back, you hairy beast!
I'm warning you!
(Growls)
Whaah!
No, please, help me!
I hear ice fishing is very good
this time of year.
Don't worry,
you're drifting east.
Should reach solid
ground in 2 days.
Hold tight, Jackie,
'cause it's Jade of
the north coming in
for one more save.
Too late.
I was already assisted by...
A friend.
Let's get this
gentleman onto the sled.
Then we'll head to the airport.
You want to take
Duane home with us?
He will be safe at section 13...
Placed under
observation, studied,
fed cereal.
Hello.
King Kong? Mighty Joe young?
We can't take Duane
back to civilization.
But I thought he
was your friend.
He is, and that's why
we got to leave him...
Here.
Ahh...
The Aurora borealis.
Northern lights.
The inscription!
"When night turns to day,
something...
something will run free."
I expect you are correct, Jade.
And also correct about
Duane staying here
in his natural habitat.
Go ahead, big guy.
Run. Be free.
Where is sensei?
(Gasps)
Uncle!
By now, probably at war
with the inuit elder.
Huh... My secret.
Anchovy, eh?
Baah! Catch nothing but minnows.
What do you fish with, worms?
Mung beans wrapped
in tea leaves.
Fish take a number
to get on hook.
Ahh...
Big talk, no action.
Ahh, see?
I got something.
(Grunting)
(Grunting)
So does uncle.
Big something!
Ha! See?
My bait gone.
Yours still on hook.
So what?
So, fish we lost was mine!
No, that was my fish.
My fish!
You're a liar!
My fish!
You cheated.
Hey, Jackie?
Do you miss your family
when you're off making movies?
My business is, uh,
very, very difficult,
because I'm so busy.
A location scout,
training, rehearsal.
The camera rolling.
The only things I know is
comedy, action.
Great stunts, great action.
Sometimes when I'm off camera,
take a break...
Then I do miss my family.
But what can I do?
Travel, travel, travel, travel.