Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005): Season 2, Episode 15 - Shanghai Moon - full transcript
The Panku box reveals the location of the Moon Demon's portal. The quest leads to outer space.
Yes!
Yes.
To find this portal,
we must travel north...
Very north.
Brrr, chilly.
Very, very north.
Ok, check the
warranty on the box.
We're like halfway to the moon.
Where did you think
tso LAN the moon
demon would be found?
(Nervous chuckle) No
way to get up there.
Ha! Yeah, right.
It's not like valmont
owns a flying saucer.
Yeah, I mean,
we'd have to go all the way to cape
whatchacall in Florida to
catch a rocket to space... oof!
Ahh, very well, then.
Why couldn't it have
been the earth demon?
Jade.
Maybe a working volcano exhibit
is too advanced for me.
Jackie?
Science project.
Valmont and his cronies have
been spotted in Florida,
near cape canaveral.
I'm on my way.
Goin' on a mission, Jackie?!
Uh, no. Not a mission. It's...
A conference on feng shui.
In Minnesota.
Want to come?
Um, I would Jackie,
but, you know
I have that new science
project to cook up.
My goosebumps are
gettin' goosebumps.
I say we vote.
Anyone who doesn't
want to go orbital,
raise your hand.
Uh, we didn't count
valmont's vote.
Never mind valmont.
You will board that
spacecraft or you will perish.
Unh.
No sign of the portal.
Let's keep it that way.
Rocks and minerals...
Dullsville.
Photosynthesis...
Double dullsville.
(Sighs) Maybe I can get
inspired by the science network.
Announcer: The launchpad area
has been cleared for liftoff
of the experimental space
shuttle, saratoga,
which will later dock with
space station niagara.
Hello.
Minnesota, hmm?
Announcer: Liftoff in
t-minus 30 seconds.
Oh, uh, don't we need
like, astronaut training?
Climb aboard!
Announcer: Countdown at 10, 9...
8, 7, 6...
5, 4...
3, 2...
1...
Liftoff. We have liftoff.
Aah!
Black.
Tell uncle I have a strong hunch
that the portal belongs
to the moon demon.
(Machines hiss) (Gasp)
(Gasp) Talk later!
Ah!
Whoa.
Ahh, liftoff, indeed.
Where are we?
What are you wearing?
Oh, no! Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Uh, we're cruisin' for la
Luna, big v.
But that's impossible!
Who's piloting this craft?
Ahoy.
There has been a grave error.
I demand you turn this ship
around, posthaste!
Aah!
(Screaming)
Aw.
Aah! Guh, guh...
Hi, Jackie.
Jade!
Check out the monkey suit.
Literally.
But, how did you...
Speed talisman.
Fastest way to get to...
Minnesota.
Autopilot.
You can relax, big v.
Major Matt monkey's flying
with training wheels.
I feel so much better.
Ugh, those whirly
rides make me nauseous.
Space makes me nauseous.
The spinning of the station
creates gravitational pull. See?
I am so going to get an
"a" on my science project.
Secure the station.
Piece of cake.
We're the only ones here.
Let us ensure utmost privacy.
Surveillance and
communications systems
are down? How?
The monkey.
Now, we wait for this
station to intersect
with the portal
belonging to tso LAN.
And open her up with this key.
I hope uncle is on his
way with that chi spell.
This is a level 7 override.
My engineers will
take over from here.
Ok.
I have a second shuttle
prepped to take you to Jackie.
Aiiyah!
Do I look like flash Gordon?
I am too old to play space man!
But, if you do not go, sensei,
who will cast the chi spell?
(Groans)
We are mere minutes from
the portal location.
Ready the pan ku box.
Uhh!
Well?!
Yo, chow
oh!
Whoa.
Chan!
Everybody's an astronaut.
Where is the pan ku box?!
(Hissing)
(Snarls) Hak foo!
Retrieve it! Unh!
You go, hak!
And you, simpletons,
get chan!
Jackie!
You use it!
Raaah!
Uhh! Uhh!
The eagle has landed.
Tiger prowls...
Through pudding.
Turtle fist!
Sloth kick!
Aah!
Uhh! (Gasp)
Oh, boy.
(Chuckling)
Flying monkey
snatches magic box.
Yaah!
Uhh!
Where is hak foo?!
The portal approaches.
No box, no demon. Check, please!
(Chattering)
Good monkey.
Nice monkey.
No, cosmo! Run!
Give it up! Give it up!
(Cosmo screeches)
Huh?
Yes.
Houston, we have a problem.
Get it.
Tso LAN, so good to see you.
Skip the pleasantries, shendu.
I am interested only in seizing
control of the moon's gravity
so that I may pull the
ball from its orbit.
But... but that'll wreck
all of earth's ecosystems.
How do you know?
I watch the science network.
Puhhht!
The child is correct.
And only then will earth's
landscape be to my liking.
Whoa!
He wants to kebosh the planet.
And you made us let him out?
Just be glad you are up here.
Duh-oh!
Argh! Ehh...
You have joined us in time to see the
Nemesis of all demon sorcerers destroyed.
This is Jackie chan?
No. That is.
Bwwaaaa!
Ah! Oh! Uhh!
Duh-ah!
Time to put out the trash.
Uhh!
Shendu, I despise you.
I heard that.
It appears the pleasure of
destroying you shall be mine alone.
A good chi spell would
be nice right now.
Tohru, can you hear me?
Wha-a-a-at?
You make faces at me!
Whu... Uh... Eh...
No, sensei.
Hiding only delays
the inevitable.
Hey...
Lucky rabbit.
(Chittering)
Shoo! Shoo!
(Chittering)
(Screeching)
I see no one.
Uncle: Prepare the chi
spell, then socialize!
Now, do you have the lotus pod?
Check.
Jelly of jelly fish?
Check.
(Screeching)
Behold...
My mastery of gravity.
And for you,
things look very grave.
Jackie, man the torpedo.
Full speed ahead!
Uhh!
Outta the park.
Uh-oh.
He's rolling down moon river.
This is very bad.
We need uncle's chi spell.
Earth to Jackie. We're in space.
Where are we gonna
get a chi spell?
A lotus pod?
Isn't that...?
The symbol of the immortal
who originally defeated
tso LAN the moon demon.
- Tohru?
- Tohru!
But... Where's uncle?
Uncle, yelling: Tohru!
Do you or do you not
have nosehair of possum?!
Hmm...
Could use a facelift.
Tall, dark, and creepy's
doing his moon-makeover thing.
Tohru, the chi spell.
Uncle: A spell can not work
if a demon is out of range
of the immortal's symbol!
How can we move the immortal
symbol into range fast?
Jade: Duh!
Bad day! Bad day! Bad day!
Jade, it's not safe.
So?
Eh, it's never safe.
I require assistance.
Awww, I thought that's
why you brought cosmo.
Where on earth do I find
a moon demon on the moon?
Oh!
Behind you.
Heh. Hello.
You dare interrupt me
in my moment of triumph?
It's what I do.
Whuh!
Oh!
Oh...
Where's the lotus pod?
You put it in your suit.
Found it.
Tohru, the incantation!
Uncle: Aiyaaa! That is my job!
Uncle!
Hurry!
(Chanting)
(Uncle chanting)
An incantation?
(Chanting continues)
The lotus pod.
In order for it to hex me,
you must remove your helmet,
which you cannot do.
Oh! Grrr! Eh!
Then let me air this out.
(Inhales)
Aah!
Ah! (Breaths deeply)
Yesss!
(Cheering)
Right on!
So long, tso LAN.
My science product
is gonna rock!
Hey, Jackie,
if you weren't an actor,
what would you be?
I wanna be a pilot.
Oh, I just feel so cool.
Nothing cooler than pilot.
(Imitates plane flying)
Carrying the helmet,
wearing the suit,
walking... But slow-motion.
The track behind you...
With... with the glasses.
Just by yourself,
go to the place nobody knows, you know.
Oh, just, I wanna be a pilot.
Yes.
To find this portal,
we must travel north...
Very north.
Brrr, chilly.
Very, very north.
Ok, check the
warranty on the box.
We're like halfway to the moon.
Where did you think
tso LAN the moon
demon would be found?
(Nervous chuckle) No
way to get up there.
Ha! Yeah, right.
It's not like valmont
owns a flying saucer.
Yeah, I mean,
we'd have to go all the way to cape
whatchacall in Florida to
catch a rocket to space... oof!
Ahh, very well, then.
Why couldn't it have
been the earth demon?
Jade.
Maybe a working volcano exhibit
is too advanced for me.
Jackie?
Science project.
Valmont and his cronies have
been spotted in Florida,
near cape canaveral.
I'm on my way.
Goin' on a mission, Jackie?!
Uh, no. Not a mission. It's...
A conference on feng shui.
In Minnesota.
Want to come?
Um, I would Jackie,
but, you know
I have that new science
project to cook up.
My goosebumps are
gettin' goosebumps.
I say we vote.
Anyone who doesn't
want to go orbital,
raise your hand.
Uh, we didn't count
valmont's vote.
Never mind valmont.
You will board that
spacecraft or you will perish.
Unh.
No sign of the portal.
Let's keep it that way.
Rocks and minerals...
Dullsville.
Photosynthesis...
Double dullsville.
(Sighs) Maybe I can get
inspired by the science network.
Announcer: The launchpad area
has been cleared for liftoff
of the experimental space
shuttle, saratoga,
which will later dock with
space station niagara.
Hello.
Minnesota, hmm?
Announcer: Liftoff in
t-minus 30 seconds.
Oh, uh, don't we need
like, astronaut training?
Climb aboard!
Announcer: Countdown at 10, 9...
8, 7, 6...
5, 4...
3, 2...
1...
Liftoff. We have liftoff.
Aah!
Black.
Tell uncle I have a strong hunch
that the portal belongs
to the moon demon.
(Machines hiss) (Gasp)
(Gasp) Talk later!
Ah!
Whoa.
Ahh, liftoff, indeed.
Where are we?
What are you wearing?
Oh, no! Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Uh, we're cruisin' for la
Luna, big v.
But that's impossible!
Who's piloting this craft?
Ahoy.
There has been a grave error.
I demand you turn this ship
around, posthaste!
Aah!
(Screaming)
Aw.
Aah! Guh, guh...
Hi, Jackie.
Jade!
Check out the monkey suit.
Literally.
But, how did you...
Speed talisman.
Fastest way to get to...
Minnesota.
Autopilot.
You can relax, big v.
Major Matt monkey's flying
with training wheels.
I feel so much better.
Ugh, those whirly
rides make me nauseous.
Space makes me nauseous.
The spinning of the station
creates gravitational pull. See?
I am so going to get an
"a" on my science project.
Secure the station.
Piece of cake.
We're the only ones here.
Let us ensure utmost privacy.
Surveillance and
communications systems
are down? How?
The monkey.
Now, we wait for this
station to intersect
with the portal
belonging to tso LAN.
And open her up with this key.
I hope uncle is on his
way with that chi spell.
This is a level 7 override.
My engineers will
take over from here.
Ok.
I have a second shuttle
prepped to take you to Jackie.
Aiiyah!
Do I look like flash Gordon?
I am too old to play space man!
But, if you do not go, sensei,
who will cast the chi spell?
(Groans)
We are mere minutes from
the portal location.
Ready the pan ku box.
Uhh!
Well?!
Yo, chow
oh!
Whoa.
Chan!
Everybody's an astronaut.
Where is the pan ku box?!
(Hissing)
(Snarls) Hak foo!
Retrieve it! Unh!
You go, hak!
And you, simpletons,
get chan!
Jackie!
You use it!
Raaah!
Uhh! Uhh!
The eagle has landed.
Tiger prowls...
Through pudding.
Turtle fist!
Sloth kick!
Aah!
Uhh! (Gasp)
Oh, boy.
(Chuckling)
Flying monkey
snatches magic box.
Yaah!
Uhh!
Where is hak foo?!
The portal approaches.
No box, no demon. Check, please!
(Chattering)
Good monkey.
Nice monkey.
No, cosmo! Run!
Give it up! Give it up!
(Cosmo screeches)
Huh?
Yes.
Houston, we have a problem.
Get it.
Tso LAN, so good to see you.
Skip the pleasantries, shendu.
I am interested only in seizing
control of the moon's gravity
so that I may pull the
ball from its orbit.
But... but that'll wreck
all of earth's ecosystems.
How do you know?
I watch the science network.
Puhhht!
The child is correct.
And only then will earth's
landscape be to my liking.
Whoa!
He wants to kebosh the planet.
And you made us let him out?
Just be glad you are up here.
Duh-oh!
Argh! Ehh...
You have joined us in time to see the
Nemesis of all demon sorcerers destroyed.
This is Jackie chan?
No. That is.
Bwwaaaa!
Ah! Oh! Uhh!
Duh-ah!
Time to put out the trash.
Uhh!
Shendu, I despise you.
I heard that.
It appears the pleasure of
destroying you shall be mine alone.
A good chi spell would
be nice right now.
Tohru, can you hear me?
Wha-a-a-at?
You make faces at me!
Whu... Uh... Eh...
No, sensei.
Hiding only delays
the inevitable.
Hey...
Lucky rabbit.
(Chittering)
Shoo! Shoo!
(Chittering)
(Screeching)
I see no one.
Uncle: Prepare the chi
spell, then socialize!
Now, do you have the lotus pod?
Check.
Jelly of jelly fish?
Check.
(Screeching)
Behold...
My mastery of gravity.
And for you,
things look very grave.
Jackie, man the torpedo.
Full speed ahead!
Uhh!
Outta the park.
Uh-oh.
He's rolling down moon river.
This is very bad.
We need uncle's chi spell.
Earth to Jackie. We're in space.
Where are we gonna
get a chi spell?
A lotus pod?
Isn't that...?
The symbol of the immortal
who originally defeated
tso LAN the moon demon.
- Tohru?
- Tohru!
But... Where's uncle?
Uncle, yelling: Tohru!
Do you or do you not
have nosehair of possum?!
Hmm...
Could use a facelift.
Tall, dark, and creepy's
doing his moon-makeover thing.
Tohru, the chi spell.
Uncle: A spell can not work
if a demon is out of range
of the immortal's symbol!
How can we move the immortal
symbol into range fast?
Jade: Duh!
Bad day! Bad day! Bad day!
Jade, it's not safe.
So?
Eh, it's never safe.
I require assistance.
Awww, I thought that's
why you brought cosmo.
Where on earth do I find
a moon demon on the moon?
Oh!
Behind you.
Heh. Hello.
You dare interrupt me
in my moment of triumph?
It's what I do.
Whuh!
Oh!
Oh...
Where's the lotus pod?
You put it in your suit.
Found it.
Tohru, the incantation!
Uncle: Aiyaaa! That is my job!
Uncle!
Hurry!
(Chanting)
(Uncle chanting)
An incantation?
(Chanting continues)
The lotus pod.
In order for it to hex me,
you must remove your helmet,
which you cannot do.
Oh! Grrr! Eh!
Then let me air this out.
(Inhales)
Aah!
Ah! (Breaths deeply)
Yesss!
(Cheering)
Right on!
So long, tso LAN.
My science product
is gonna rock!
Hey, Jackie,
if you weren't an actor,
what would you be?
I wanna be a pilot.
Oh, I just feel so cool.
Nothing cooler than pilot.
(Imitates plane flying)
Carrying the helmet,
wearing the suit,
walking... But slow-motion.
The track behind you...
With... with the glasses.
Just by yourself,
go to the place nobody knows, you know.
Oh, just, I wanna be a pilot.