Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005): Season 2, Episode 13 - Queen of the Shadowkhan - full transcript
When her classmates get a tattoo, Jade decides to get one also. The design she chooses, comes from a magical book which has unexpected consequences.
Ahh. Finally.
Uncle said this book
could help put an end
to all of this "demon
portal" business.
I hope uncle is right.
Aah! Oh!
Uhh... Uhh... Oh!
Shadowkhan!
Uhh!
Let go! Leggo, leggo!
Chan at 12 o'clock.
Grab the ladder.
We're showing chan the door.
Enforcers: Heave, ho!
Aaah!
Whew.
I guess it's curtains for me.
Uh... Oopsy?
Heh heh. Ha.
Boy: Oh, wow!
Girl: Drew got a tattoo?!
Yeah, been thinkin' I
might get one of those.
Oh, yeah, sure, Jade.
Like your dig-in-the-dirt-
with-tiny-brushes
uncle Jackie would ever
let you get a tattoo.
He would so let me, drew!
By tomorrow,
I'm gonna have the gnarliest tattoo
in the history of... Gnarl!
Uncle: The archive
à of demon magic
is an encyclopedia of spells,
written by the demon
sorcerers themselves.
But it may hold clues
which will help defeat
the demons who created it.
Both of you, clear room for
my new research project.
Both: Yes, uncle.
(Humming)
Hey, Jackie, how was your trip?
Have you lost weight?
Can I get a tattoo?
Ha, my trip was...
A tattoo?!
Please, Jackie?
All the kids at school are...
No. But...
No. But...
No. But...
No tattoos for Jade. Period.
Aw!
(Sighs) Drew was right.
What am I gonna...
Jade: Whoa.
My tattoo doesn't
have to be real.
It just has to be gnarly.
A little ink...
A little water...
A little squeeze...
And I'm bad to the bone.
I will put up with a
lot, shendu,
but I draw the line
at wearing a dress!
Shendu: This is a
sorcerer's robe!
Finn: Whoa!
Shendu-dette.
Pretty dress.
Very becoming.
Grr! Where is my archive?!
Uh, chan's got it?
But it wasn't our fault!
Yeah, that's right.
The shadowkhan were there, too.
The shadowkhan are my puppets.
They do only what I command.
Are you suggesting
this is my fault?
Uh-uh.
Then redeem yourselves.
No doubt.
Chan has brought my book
to his uncle's shop.
Oh, but every time we go there,
we get our butts kicked.
You have never been there...
With me.
Boy: Wow.
Girl: It's even gnarlier
than drew's tattoo.
And I didn't scream once
while they were doing it.
(Scoffs) That
looks about as real
as those magic ninjas
Jade's always talking about.
The ninjas are real,
and so's my tattoo!
Unlike yours.
Hey, where's your tattoo?
Uh... Well, I thought you knew.
They peel right off.
Like this!
Hey, watch it, drew! Cut it out!
Whoa!
Uh...
Told you it was real.
Come on, off!
Off!
I'm in trouble.
Hey.
Jade...
Why are you wearing snow boots?
Heard it might snow?
It's 72 degrees out.
Avalanche!
Heh. False alarm.
Oh! Jade,
wash this off right now!
Er, tried that.
What? It's a real tattoo?
By accident!
How can you get a tattoo by acci...
ohh!
(Uncle gasps)
This is a symbol of great evil.
We must find a spell to
remove it immediately.
Who knows what catastrophe
such a tattoo will bring?
Hand over the...
Yaaaah!
Angry crow takes flight!
Yah! Uhh!
Mad monkey kung fu!
Mantis boxing style!
Rabbit punch!
Swish!
I got it!
Aah!
Lion stalks its prey!
Run like cheetah,
leap like gazelle!
Uhh... Uhh!
Uh-oh.
Yaaaah!
Black tiger corners little lamb.
Help!
Anybody!
(Gasps) Shadowkhan.
Oh, no, oh, no oh, no, oh, no.
Bunny flees from
vicious jackals.
Aaaah!
I'm... Still alive?
Weird.
I am telling you
it was the shadowkhan
who did this to me!
Finn: Chan kicked our
butts, too.
Yeah, you don't hear
us lying about it.
Need I remind you,
the shadowkhan do
only what I command.
Come, minions!
Minions?
Valmont: It would seem you
have lost your touch, shendu.
Shendu: I have
not lost my touch!
Chan is obviously
using the power
of my archive against me!
I don't care how you do it,
but get my book!
Jackie: Jade?
Jade?!
Wake up,
you're going to be late.
I am going to uncle's
to help him find a
tattoo-removing spell,
so I will see you
there after school.
(Yawns) Mmm.
Jackie: Oh,
and don't forget to eat breakfast.
(Scoffs) I wish I had
time for breakfast.
Aah!
Breakfast?
The tattoo.
That's what happened last night!
I called for help
and you guys came!
Jade: Tres chique.
Mmm.
Now this has to be
our little secret.
If Jackie won't let
me have a tattoo,
there's no way he'd let
me have my own ninjas.
Oh, forgot my wallet.
Are you ready for...
Under control.
Why are you wearing black?
I'm in a dark mood.
Jade: Get ready, guys.
Time to prove my magic
ninjas are for real.
Ha ha! Oh, yeah?
Being dumb enough to get a
real tattoo is one thing,
but ninjas? Come on!
Ha ha ha!
(Kids laugh)
Let me show you.
Heh heh. Later, ninja girl.
Ohh.
Finn to ratso: I'm in position.
Uncle: Too busy!
Come back later!
But I am a wealthy
art collector.
Welcome to uncle's rare finds.
Were you looking for
something in particular?
Oh,
just some priceless artifacts
for the many,
many museums I own.
Jackie! Tohru!
Uncle: Bring tea!
Uncle: This one dates
back to the han dynasty.
It is a very good piece.
Uh, I'll let you know.
You are both very bad salesmen!
Having ninja tutors
is gonna make homework
way more fun!
Can you believe they
bought my disguise?
Ho ho ho! What a plan.
We're geniuses!
They're here.
Give 'em a spanking.
You were too slow with the tea.
Good salesmen must always...
Wha... wha... wha...
Where is the archive?!
Uhh!
Jade! Jade!
It's ok. He's one of us.
Jade: See, Jackie?
Total control.
They do what I tell 'em,
and I only tell 'em to do good.
So can I keep 'em?
Jackie: No, Jade.
Aw, why not?
Because. You're turning blue.
Blue's my favorite color.
Besides, we gave tohru a chance.
Tohru is human.
Now I want you to
make them go away
until uncle can find a...
Hot chaaaa!
I have found a potion
that will make
Jade's tattoo vanish.
But I like my tattoo.
You can't do this to me.
Jackie: It's for your own
safety, Jade.
Now sit still while
I apply the potion.
Ohh!
Jade: Do not touch me!
I am and shall remain
queen of the shadowkhan.
Jade!
I... Uh...
You're grounded!
(Scoffs) You're not
giving me orders anymore.
I must find her.
I will take the potion.
Run a background check and...
whoa!
Jade, you...
What happened to you?
I've become queen...
(Gasps)
And every queen needs a palace.
Jade!
Jaaade!
Jade? Black.
Jade's gone ninja.
And they've taken section 13.
Jade: Fo... Shee... Kwong...
Shoo... Wee...
Grr! How can I know the
secrets of the archive
if I can't understand
a single, stupid word of it?!
Bring me someone who can.
Shendu: So are you telling me
I still don't have my book back,
and the child
controls my minions?!
Valmont: What? Aah! Help!
Shendu: No.
This could work to my advantage.
Valmont: (Gasps)
We're in section 13.
The talismans!
Shendu: Quiet, you fool!
Take the talismans
if you desire them.
I am interested in
far greater powers.
Valmont: Smashing!
I'll just... uhh!
Shendu: I require no
talismans, your majesty.
I only wish to pay my respects.
Ow!
Uh... Uh...
(Gasps)
Jade: Now read me a
story, demon.
Forgive me, your highness.
I could easily translate
this entire volume for you,
but true power does not
reside in textbooks.
I could teach you, dark queen.
And why should I trust you?
Beware!
Oh! Uhh! I... oh!
You!
Do you trust me now?
Take the potion from him!
Ooh...
Gaaa!
Oh!
Haa... Uhh...
Ooof!
Your skill far exceeds your
years, majesty.
Uhh!
Oh. Bwooo!
(Gasps)
No!
Hear this, my queen:
Your first and most
valuable lesson:
Always destroy your enemies.
Don't listen to him, Jade.
He's a demon. I'm your uncle,
your friend!
(Scoffs) You were.
But things are different now.
I have new friends.
Oh? If shendu is your friend,
why is he stealing your book?
Hiss! Traitor!
After him!
Nooo!
No!
Destroy chan!
No, destroy...
The book!
Nooo!
Ohh!
Hyaaaaah!
Uhh!
Ooof!
Valmont: You could've
at least let me grab
the talismans, shendu.
Very important rule of magic.
Always make extra. Just in case.
Ohh... I have a weird feeling
I did something bad.
If you mean getting a tattoo
when I told you not to,
yes, you did.
But if you mean destroying
the demon archive...
We can live with that.
Hey, Jackie, what kinds of
books do you like to read?
I like mystery,
comedy, everything.
All can helping me for
the location scout.
Different pictures, wow.
I like good magazines
and education magazines.
I can really learn
a lot of things.
It really helps me.
Uncle said this book
could help put an end
to all of this "demon
portal" business.
I hope uncle is right.
Aah! Oh!
Uhh... Uhh... Oh!
Shadowkhan!
Uhh!
Let go! Leggo, leggo!
Chan at 12 o'clock.
Grab the ladder.
We're showing chan the door.
Enforcers: Heave, ho!
Aaah!
Whew.
I guess it's curtains for me.
Uh... Oopsy?
Heh heh. Ha.
Boy: Oh, wow!
Girl: Drew got a tattoo?!
Yeah, been thinkin' I
might get one of those.
Oh, yeah, sure, Jade.
Like your dig-in-the-dirt-
with-tiny-brushes
uncle Jackie would ever
let you get a tattoo.
He would so let me, drew!
By tomorrow,
I'm gonna have the gnarliest tattoo
in the history of... Gnarl!
Uncle: The archive
à of demon magic
is an encyclopedia of spells,
written by the demon
sorcerers themselves.
But it may hold clues
which will help defeat
the demons who created it.
Both of you, clear room for
my new research project.
Both: Yes, uncle.
(Humming)
Hey, Jackie, how was your trip?
Have you lost weight?
Can I get a tattoo?
Ha, my trip was...
A tattoo?!
Please, Jackie?
All the kids at school are...
No. But...
No. But...
No. But...
No tattoos for Jade. Period.
Aw!
(Sighs) Drew was right.
What am I gonna...
Jade: Whoa.
My tattoo doesn't
have to be real.
It just has to be gnarly.
A little ink...
A little water...
A little squeeze...
And I'm bad to the bone.
I will put up with a
lot, shendu,
but I draw the line
at wearing a dress!
Shendu: This is a
sorcerer's robe!
Finn: Whoa!
Shendu-dette.
Pretty dress.
Very becoming.
Grr! Where is my archive?!
Uh, chan's got it?
But it wasn't our fault!
Yeah, that's right.
The shadowkhan were there, too.
The shadowkhan are my puppets.
They do only what I command.
Are you suggesting
this is my fault?
Uh-uh.
Then redeem yourselves.
No doubt.
Chan has brought my book
to his uncle's shop.
Oh, but every time we go there,
we get our butts kicked.
You have never been there...
With me.
Boy: Wow.
Girl: It's even gnarlier
than drew's tattoo.
And I didn't scream once
while they were doing it.
(Scoffs) That
looks about as real
as those magic ninjas
Jade's always talking about.
The ninjas are real,
and so's my tattoo!
Unlike yours.
Hey, where's your tattoo?
Uh... Well, I thought you knew.
They peel right off.
Like this!
Hey, watch it, drew! Cut it out!
Whoa!
Uh...
Told you it was real.
Come on, off!
Off!
I'm in trouble.
Hey.
Jade...
Why are you wearing snow boots?
Heard it might snow?
It's 72 degrees out.
Avalanche!
Heh. False alarm.
Oh! Jade,
wash this off right now!
Er, tried that.
What? It's a real tattoo?
By accident!
How can you get a tattoo by acci...
ohh!
(Uncle gasps)
This is a symbol of great evil.
We must find a spell to
remove it immediately.
Who knows what catastrophe
such a tattoo will bring?
Hand over the...
Yaaaah!
Angry crow takes flight!
Yah! Uhh!
Mad monkey kung fu!
Mantis boxing style!
Rabbit punch!
Swish!
I got it!
Aah!
Lion stalks its prey!
Run like cheetah,
leap like gazelle!
Uhh... Uhh!
Uh-oh.
Yaaaah!
Black tiger corners little lamb.
Help!
Anybody!
(Gasps) Shadowkhan.
Oh, no, oh, no oh, no, oh, no.
Bunny flees from
vicious jackals.
Aaaah!
I'm... Still alive?
Weird.
I am telling you
it was the shadowkhan
who did this to me!
Finn: Chan kicked our
butts, too.
Yeah, you don't hear
us lying about it.
Need I remind you,
the shadowkhan do
only what I command.
Come, minions!
Minions?
Valmont: It would seem you
have lost your touch, shendu.
Shendu: I have
not lost my touch!
Chan is obviously
using the power
of my archive against me!
I don't care how you do it,
but get my book!
Jackie: Jade?
Jade?!
Wake up,
you're going to be late.
I am going to uncle's
to help him find a
tattoo-removing spell,
so I will see you
there after school.
(Yawns) Mmm.
Jackie: Oh,
and don't forget to eat breakfast.
(Scoffs) I wish I had
time for breakfast.
Aah!
Breakfast?
The tattoo.
That's what happened last night!
I called for help
and you guys came!
Jade: Tres chique.
Mmm.
Now this has to be
our little secret.
If Jackie won't let
me have a tattoo,
there's no way he'd let
me have my own ninjas.
Oh, forgot my wallet.
Are you ready for...
Under control.
Why are you wearing black?
I'm in a dark mood.
Jade: Get ready, guys.
Time to prove my magic
ninjas are for real.
Ha ha! Oh, yeah?
Being dumb enough to get a
real tattoo is one thing,
but ninjas? Come on!
Ha ha ha!
(Kids laugh)
Let me show you.
Heh heh. Later, ninja girl.
Ohh.
Finn to ratso: I'm in position.
Uncle: Too busy!
Come back later!
But I am a wealthy
art collector.
Welcome to uncle's rare finds.
Were you looking for
something in particular?
Oh,
just some priceless artifacts
for the many,
many museums I own.
Jackie! Tohru!
Uncle: Bring tea!
Uncle: This one dates
back to the han dynasty.
It is a very good piece.
Uh, I'll let you know.
You are both very bad salesmen!
Having ninja tutors
is gonna make homework
way more fun!
Can you believe they
bought my disguise?
Ho ho ho! What a plan.
We're geniuses!
They're here.
Give 'em a spanking.
You were too slow with the tea.
Good salesmen must always...
Wha... wha... wha...
Where is the archive?!
Uhh!
Jade! Jade!
It's ok. He's one of us.
Jade: See, Jackie?
Total control.
They do what I tell 'em,
and I only tell 'em to do good.
So can I keep 'em?
Jackie: No, Jade.
Aw, why not?
Because. You're turning blue.
Blue's my favorite color.
Besides, we gave tohru a chance.
Tohru is human.
Now I want you to
make them go away
until uncle can find a...
Hot chaaaa!
I have found a potion
that will make
Jade's tattoo vanish.
But I like my tattoo.
You can't do this to me.
Jackie: It's for your own
safety, Jade.
Now sit still while
I apply the potion.
Ohh!
Jade: Do not touch me!
I am and shall remain
queen of the shadowkhan.
Jade!
I... Uh...
You're grounded!
(Scoffs) You're not
giving me orders anymore.
I must find her.
I will take the potion.
Run a background check and...
whoa!
Jade, you...
What happened to you?
I've become queen...
(Gasps)
And every queen needs a palace.
Jade!
Jaaade!
Jade? Black.
Jade's gone ninja.
And they've taken section 13.
Jade: Fo... Shee... Kwong...
Shoo... Wee...
Grr! How can I know the
secrets of the archive
if I can't understand
a single, stupid word of it?!
Bring me someone who can.
Shendu: So are you telling me
I still don't have my book back,
and the child
controls my minions?!
Valmont: What? Aah! Help!
Shendu: No.
This could work to my advantage.
Valmont: (Gasps)
We're in section 13.
The talismans!
Shendu: Quiet, you fool!
Take the talismans
if you desire them.
I am interested in
far greater powers.
Valmont: Smashing!
I'll just... uhh!
Shendu: I require no
talismans, your majesty.
I only wish to pay my respects.
Ow!
Uh... Uh...
(Gasps)
Jade: Now read me a
story, demon.
Forgive me, your highness.
I could easily translate
this entire volume for you,
but true power does not
reside in textbooks.
I could teach you, dark queen.
And why should I trust you?
Beware!
Oh! Uhh! I... oh!
You!
Do you trust me now?
Take the potion from him!
Ooh...
Gaaa!
Oh!
Haa... Uhh...
Ooof!
Your skill far exceeds your
years, majesty.
Uhh!
Oh. Bwooo!
(Gasps)
No!
Hear this, my queen:
Your first and most
valuable lesson:
Always destroy your enemies.
Don't listen to him, Jade.
He's a demon. I'm your uncle,
your friend!
(Scoffs) You were.
But things are different now.
I have new friends.
Oh? If shendu is your friend,
why is he stealing your book?
Hiss! Traitor!
After him!
Nooo!
No!
Destroy chan!
No, destroy...
The book!
Nooo!
Ohh!
Hyaaaaah!
Uhh!
Ooof!
Valmont: You could've
at least let me grab
the talismans, shendu.
Very important rule of magic.
Always make extra. Just in case.
Ohh... I have a weird feeling
I did something bad.
If you mean getting a tattoo
when I told you not to,
yes, you did.
But if you mean destroying
the demon archive...
We can live with that.
Hey, Jackie, what kinds of
books do you like to read?
I like mystery,
comedy, everything.
All can helping me for
the location scout.
Different pictures, wow.
I like good magazines
and education magazines.
I can really learn
a lot of things.
It really helps me.