Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005): Season 1, Episode 5 - Shell Game - full transcript
An aquarium acquires a tortoise, with a Talisman attached to its shell. The news station broadcasts the story on the tortoise which sends Jackie and the Dark Hand racing to the aquarium.
Andrews, have a look.
I've never seen
anything like it.
I've seen you see something
just like it, Nelson.
It's called a tortoise.
No, no. Look here.
There's something
encrusted onto its shell.
Oh, my.
Whatever could it be?
Breathe deeply.
(Inhaling and exhaling)
The breathe flows
to the fingertips,
then down to the toes...
Then the toes go up...
The bad guy's nose.
Hyah!
What? He was asking for it.
Discipline, Jade.
But I want to be a lean, mean,
Jackie chan machine.
Don't be in such a hurry.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Chinese proverb, right?
Uh, Greek, actually.
The story of the tortoise and the hare.
Once upon a... where you going?
Breakfast. Race ya!
Ahhh!
Morning, Jackie.
Hello, Kevin.
It's going to be sunny today.
I have to take your word for it.
Newscaster: Today's
weather forecast,
clear and sunny with highs in
the mid 80's for the bay area.
Morning, Jade.
Hey, Carlos.
And now for local events.
This big fellow's name is
aesop, and he's the star
of the new galapagos island
exhibit at the bay aquarium.
Tortoise?
Talk about your coinkadink.
The odd thing is,
the aquarium's experts
noticed this little
"who knows what"
imbedded in aesop's shell.
A tortoise and a hare?
Jackie!
What?
That!
No, we are not getting a dog.
I saw a talisman.
It's on the tortoise's
shell at the bay aquarium.
It had 2 long ears like a bunny.
The tortoise?
No. The talisman.
Huh. There is a rabbit
in the Chinese zodiac.
I will investigate.
Cool.
While you're in school.
Aw.
Stop!
Valmont, hey. New suite?
Heh heh. Lookin' sharp.
Go back one.
Tohru.
So there I was,
flying the plane all by myself,
no co-pilot,
and Jackie's hanging out
the back flopping around
with no parachute or anything.
Yeah, right.
I bet the snake lady was there, too.
Viper? Nah.
That was in New York.
Teacher: Jade!
Perhaps you can answer
the question for us.
Uh, that last question
or the one before
it, miss hardman?
The question you would have heard
if you were paying attention.
Perhaps you need an
extra-credit assignment.
Hmm. Dibs on the topic?
The rabbit talisman.
The question is
how to remove it.
No need to worry about
harming aesop's shell.
It's very durable.
Uh, little girl,
this area is off limits.
Little girl?
Jade!
You should be home.
That's why they call it homework?
Uh-uh-uh. It's legit. Research.
I'm doing a report on aesop.
Look, Jade, that really is
a talisman on the tortoise,
and if you saw it on TV we can
bet the dark hand did, too.
(Scoffs) Like bad guys watch...
Jade: TV.
Chan?
Go! Take Jade.
Ohh!
Ooh!
Uhh! - Ugh! - Eh!
Uhh.
Hyah! Ooh!
Puh, pluh, ptooey.
Ooh?
Aah!
Hyah!
And I'm getting extra
credit for this.
Whoop!
Uhh. Uh. Uh.
Uh, ew, uh. Let go of me.
Ooh!
(Growling)
Mm-mmm, uh, mm.
Aah!
Jade: Jackie!
The tortoise.
(Sighing)
Jackie, what do we do?
Mm-mmm!
Which way?
I'll make him talk. Whoop!
Remember,
slow and steady wins the race.
I like my plan better.
Yuck!
Now, let's watch and learn.
You know, shendu,
these talisman expeditions...
let's just say I'm racking up
some hefty out-of-pocket
expenses and as of yet
there's nothing coming
back into my pocket.
When and only when your men
acquire all 12 talismans,
the lost treasure
of chin chi wong
shall cover your expenses
10 thousand times over.
The reputed lost treasure.
Ahh. So we have a sceptic.
Aah! Ooh!
Patience, valmont.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Ahem. Valmont,
we scored the talisman.
Heh heh heh.
And the team mascot.
You have the tortoise?
When chan showed,
we had to bail with the snail.
Prepare for a detour.
I have an acquaintance
whom I'm certain will pay top
dollar for our endangered friend.
That's why you're the boss, "v".
Whoa! Getting another call.
Hello.
Yo, ratso.
Oh, well, sorry, dude.
Forget sorry. I need a ride.
Where?
Yeah. I can find it.
He's arranging to
meet with the others.
Cool! Now we jump him?
Keep low, he'll see us.
But this time wait for me!
Quick! Jump in.
Hey!
Jade.
Uncle?
Grr!
So how was school?
Peachy.
Aah. Peachy.
One more thing.
Did Jackie find the rabbit talisman?
(Growling) I am not Jade. I am paigon
the powerful, ruler of the rabbit realm.
Ohh! Aah!
(Growling) I must
fulfill my destiny
or the universe itself
shall become un-made.
Release me at once.
(Coughing) Man,
that's rough on the throat.
We're outnumbered. Aah!
Don't you have a report to do?
Hello. Research?
Need the tortoise.
Gentlemen.
Are you Karl niver?
Ni-vor. Dr. Karl nivor.
In the flesh.
Who's this nivor guy?
Shh!
And this fellow must be the merchandise
of which my friend valmont spoke.
Mmm, yes.
You're a fine
specimen, aren't you?
Aren't you?
The money!
Boris, pay the man.
Care to join me for dinner?
Thank you, no.
But we're having
quite the delicacy.
A dish so rare,
you might say it's endangered.
Turtle soup.
Eww. He's gonna eat aesop?
Oh. He's gonna eat aesop.
Are you sure? Hmm?
Yes, we, uh... uh... um...
must deliver this to valmont.
Ohh. Tohru has the talisman.
He's going to eat aesop.
Well? The sooner you
fetch a forklift,
the sooner I may lift
a fork to my lips.
Wait here.
Whoa!
Jackie! Where you going?
After the talisman.
But what about aesop?
You could choose another
topic for your report.
Duh!
This isn't about the report.
Aesop's going to be that creepy guy's
din-din if we don't do something.
We will do something...
After I get the talisman.
Follow me.
But you never want
me to follow you,
and aesop's in immediate danger.
Jade, we don't know what power
this talisman possesses.
If the dark hand gets it,
people could be in danger.
Oh, so you're ok letting something
that looks just like uncle get eaten?
Ohh! Where do you come up
with these things? Huh?
Chan?
I thought I heard your voice.
Maim him.
Jade: Whoa! Jackie: Ooh!
Aah! Ohh!
Ha! Whoo! Aah! Uhh!
Whoo. Grr.
Uhh!
Aah!
Ooh! Aah! Huh? Whoa!
Uhh!
Ooh! Uncle.
Where?
Eyah! Ooh!
Tohru: Ooh!
Tohru!
(Fighting in plane)
Ooh!
Careful!
That one turns you
into a chocolate bunny.
How did you get down there...
So fast?
Aah!
Ooh!
Mmm... Peppy.
Boris, that braised manatee
you prepared last week
was absolutely exquisite and
the grilled American condor
on a bed of fava beans...
(Smacking lips) To die for.
Don't forget the carrots.
I'll be aft in the study.
Unh! Unh!
Uhh!
Who's a...
Chocolate...
Bunny...
Now?
Hmm?
Uhh!
Whoa!
Big man can move.
(Growling)
Whoa!
Something's... aah!
Tohru: Aah!
Jade?
Jade!
Uhh! Come on. Come on.
(Meat locker shuts)
Stop!
Heh.
Pretty please?
A stowaway?
Release aesop,
you tortoise-eating creep.
Such a delightful child.
She'll go well with a nice bernaise
sauce, wouldn't you say, Boris?
(Gasp) What?
Only joking, Princess.
Children are much too common
for my sophisticated palate.
Lock her up and get on with my dinner.
I'm getting cranky.
Jade! Jade! Jade.
How like...
Duh!
(Clanking)
Jade?
Jade!
Jackie, I'm in here.
Whoa. How'd you go
there to here so fast?
And now we'll save the tortoise.
See?
Slow and steady wins the race.
But you have super rabbit speed.
I'm getting mixed messages here.
Oh... eh... uh...
don't be smart.
Whoop!
Valmont,
your men are supposed to find
talismans, not sell pets.
Perhaps if you had
given fair consideration
to the advance I requested,
none of this would have...
Whoa. I did not know
he could do that.
I assure you, shendu,
the rabbit talisman will be retrieved.
How right you are.
Kitchen's closed.
Uhh! Jackie: Come on.
Unh! Ah!
Uhh! Eh!
Ohh!
Uh-oh.
Out here?
Ha ha ha. What's up, doc?
What? How did you...
I want my dinner.
Whaa!
Whoa!
Jade and doctor: Huh?
Vamoose!
What?
Uh... Welcome?
I don't have it.
Charge!
Huh? Oh!
Jade: Wahoo!
Ah! Anyone for leftovers?
Boy: Oh, come on!
A turbo turtle?
Faster than a speeding rabbit.
No way!
Way!
Yeah, right.
I bet that super strong
ox guy was there, too.
Jade: El toro? Nah. That was in
Mexico when I was flying the plane.
Boy: Hey, Jackie,
do you like to watch television?
Yes. I learn so many
things on television.
You know,
my English I learned from the TV.
I like education channel,
discovery channel.
Even cartoon I can
learn something.
I want TV.
I'm only in Hong Kong.
I can watch what's
going on in Morocco.
What's going on South Africa and
Europe, everywhere.
And really learn a lot of
things I don't know before.
Even training, I watch TV.
TV is my teacher.
I love TV.
I've never seen
anything like it.
I've seen you see something
just like it, Nelson.
It's called a tortoise.
No, no. Look here.
There's something
encrusted onto its shell.
Oh, my.
Whatever could it be?
Breathe deeply.
(Inhaling and exhaling)
The breathe flows
to the fingertips,
then down to the toes...
Then the toes go up...
The bad guy's nose.
Hyah!
What? He was asking for it.
Discipline, Jade.
But I want to be a lean, mean,
Jackie chan machine.
Don't be in such a hurry.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Chinese proverb, right?
Uh, Greek, actually.
The story of the tortoise and the hare.
Once upon a... where you going?
Breakfast. Race ya!
Ahhh!
Morning, Jackie.
Hello, Kevin.
It's going to be sunny today.
I have to take your word for it.
Newscaster: Today's
weather forecast,
clear and sunny with highs in
the mid 80's for the bay area.
Morning, Jade.
Hey, Carlos.
And now for local events.
This big fellow's name is
aesop, and he's the star
of the new galapagos island
exhibit at the bay aquarium.
Tortoise?
Talk about your coinkadink.
The odd thing is,
the aquarium's experts
noticed this little
"who knows what"
imbedded in aesop's shell.
A tortoise and a hare?
Jackie!
What?
That!
No, we are not getting a dog.
I saw a talisman.
It's on the tortoise's
shell at the bay aquarium.
It had 2 long ears like a bunny.
The tortoise?
No. The talisman.
Huh. There is a rabbit
in the Chinese zodiac.
I will investigate.
Cool.
While you're in school.
Aw.
Stop!
Valmont, hey. New suite?
Heh heh. Lookin' sharp.
Go back one.
Tohru.
So there I was,
flying the plane all by myself,
no co-pilot,
and Jackie's hanging out
the back flopping around
with no parachute or anything.
Yeah, right.
I bet the snake lady was there, too.
Viper? Nah.
That was in New York.
Teacher: Jade!
Perhaps you can answer
the question for us.
Uh, that last question
or the one before
it, miss hardman?
The question you would have heard
if you were paying attention.
Perhaps you need an
extra-credit assignment.
Hmm. Dibs on the topic?
The rabbit talisman.
The question is
how to remove it.
No need to worry about
harming aesop's shell.
It's very durable.
Uh, little girl,
this area is off limits.
Little girl?
Jade!
You should be home.
That's why they call it homework?
Uh-uh-uh. It's legit. Research.
I'm doing a report on aesop.
Look, Jade, that really is
a talisman on the tortoise,
and if you saw it on TV we can
bet the dark hand did, too.
(Scoffs) Like bad guys watch...
Jade: TV.
Chan?
Go! Take Jade.
Ohh!
Ooh!
Uhh! - Ugh! - Eh!
Uhh.
Hyah! Ooh!
Puh, pluh, ptooey.
Ooh?
Aah!
Hyah!
And I'm getting extra
credit for this.
Whoop!
Uhh. Uh. Uh.
Uh, ew, uh. Let go of me.
Ooh!
(Growling)
Mm-mmm, uh, mm.
Aah!
Jade: Jackie!
The tortoise.
(Sighing)
Jackie, what do we do?
Mm-mmm!
Which way?
I'll make him talk. Whoop!
Remember,
slow and steady wins the race.
I like my plan better.
Yuck!
Now, let's watch and learn.
You know, shendu,
these talisman expeditions...
let's just say I'm racking up
some hefty out-of-pocket
expenses and as of yet
there's nothing coming
back into my pocket.
When and only when your men
acquire all 12 talismans,
the lost treasure
of chin chi wong
shall cover your expenses
10 thousand times over.
The reputed lost treasure.
Ahh. So we have a sceptic.
Aah! Ooh!
Patience, valmont.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Ahem. Valmont,
we scored the talisman.
Heh heh heh.
And the team mascot.
You have the tortoise?
When chan showed,
we had to bail with the snail.
Prepare for a detour.
I have an acquaintance
whom I'm certain will pay top
dollar for our endangered friend.
That's why you're the boss, "v".
Whoa! Getting another call.
Hello.
Yo, ratso.
Oh, well, sorry, dude.
Forget sorry. I need a ride.
Where?
Yeah. I can find it.
He's arranging to
meet with the others.
Cool! Now we jump him?
Keep low, he'll see us.
But this time wait for me!
Quick! Jump in.
Hey!
Jade.
Uncle?
Grr!
So how was school?
Peachy.
Aah. Peachy.
One more thing.
Did Jackie find the rabbit talisman?
(Growling) I am not Jade. I am paigon
the powerful, ruler of the rabbit realm.
Ohh! Aah!
(Growling) I must
fulfill my destiny
or the universe itself
shall become un-made.
Release me at once.
(Coughing) Man,
that's rough on the throat.
We're outnumbered. Aah!
Don't you have a report to do?
Hello. Research?
Need the tortoise.
Gentlemen.
Are you Karl niver?
Ni-vor. Dr. Karl nivor.
In the flesh.
Who's this nivor guy?
Shh!
And this fellow must be the merchandise
of which my friend valmont spoke.
Mmm, yes.
You're a fine
specimen, aren't you?
Aren't you?
The money!
Boris, pay the man.
Care to join me for dinner?
Thank you, no.
But we're having
quite the delicacy.
A dish so rare,
you might say it's endangered.
Turtle soup.
Eww. He's gonna eat aesop?
Oh. He's gonna eat aesop.
Are you sure? Hmm?
Yes, we, uh... uh... um...
must deliver this to valmont.
Ohh. Tohru has the talisman.
He's going to eat aesop.
Well? The sooner you
fetch a forklift,
the sooner I may lift
a fork to my lips.
Wait here.
Whoa!
Jackie! Where you going?
After the talisman.
But what about aesop?
You could choose another
topic for your report.
Duh!
This isn't about the report.
Aesop's going to be that creepy guy's
din-din if we don't do something.
We will do something...
After I get the talisman.
Follow me.
But you never want
me to follow you,
and aesop's in immediate danger.
Jade, we don't know what power
this talisman possesses.
If the dark hand gets it,
people could be in danger.
Oh, so you're ok letting something
that looks just like uncle get eaten?
Ohh! Where do you come up
with these things? Huh?
Chan?
I thought I heard your voice.
Maim him.
Jade: Whoa! Jackie: Ooh!
Aah! Ohh!
Ha! Whoo! Aah! Uhh!
Whoo. Grr.
Uhh!
Aah!
Ooh! Aah! Huh? Whoa!
Uhh!
Ooh! Uncle.
Where?
Eyah! Ooh!
Tohru: Ooh!
Tohru!
(Fighting in plane)
Ooh!
Careful!
That one turns you
into a chocolate bunny.
How did you get down there...
So fast?
Aah!
Ooh!
Mmm... Peppy.
Boris, that braised manatee
you prepared last week
was absolutely exquisite and
the grilled American condor
on a bed of fava beans...
(Smacking lips) To die for.
Don't forget the carrots.
I'll be aft in the study.
Unh! Unh!
Uhh!
Who's a...
Chocolate...
Bunny...
Now?
Hmm?
Uhh!
Whoa!
Big man can move.
(Growling)
Whoa!
Something's... aah!
Tohru: Aah!
Jade?
Jade!
Uhh! Come on. Come on.
(Meat locker shuts)
Stop!
Heh.
Pretty please?
A stowaway?
Release aesop,
you tortoise-eating creep.
Such a delightful child.
She'll go well with a nice bernaise
sauce, wouldn't you say, Boris?
(Gasp) What?
Only joking, Princess.
Children are much too common
for my sophisticated palate.
Lock her up and get on with my dinner.
I'm getting cranky.
Jade! Jade! Jade.
How like...
Duh!
(Clanking)
Jade?
Jade!
Jackie, I'm in here.
Whoa. How'd you go
there to here so fast?
And now we'll save the tortoise.
See?
Slow and steady wins the race.
But you have super rabbit speed.
I'm getting mixed messages here.
Oh... eh... uh...
don't be smart.
Whoop!
Valmont,
your men are supposed to find
talismans, not sell pets.
Perhaps if you had
given fair consideration
to the advance I requested,
none of this would have...
Whoa. I did not know
he could do that.
I assure you, shendu,
the rabbit talisman will be retrieved.
How right you are.
Kitchen's closed.
Uhh! Jackie: Come on.
Unh! Ah!
Uhh! Eh!
Ohh!
Uh-oh.
Out here?
Ha ha ha. What's up, doc?
What? How did you...
I want my dinner.
Whaa!
Whoa!
Jade and doctor: Huh?
Vamoose!
What?
Uh... Welcome?
I don't have it.
Charge!
Huh? Oh!
Jade: Wahoo!
Ah! Anyone for leftovers?
Boy: Oh, come on!
A turbo turtle?
Faster than a speeding rabbit.
No way!
Way!
Yeah, right.
I bet that super strong
ox guy was there, too.
Jade: El toro? Nah. That was in
Mexico when I was flying the plane.
Boy: Hey, Jackie,
do you like to watch television?
Yes. I learn so many
things on television.
You know,
my English I learned from the TV.
I like education channel,
discovery channel.
Even cartoon I can
learn something.
I want TV.
I'm only in Hong Kong.
I can watch what's
going on in Morocco.
What's going on South Africa and
Europe, everywhere.
And really learn a lot of
things I don't know before.
Even training, I watch TV.
TV is my teacher.
I love TV.