Jackie Chan Adventures (2000–2005): Season 1, Episode 12 - The Tiger and the Pussycat - full transcript
The Tiger Talisman is finally located. It has the power of balance, when Jackie accidentally splits the talisman in half, Jackie is split in two, and causes some trouble.
(People murmuring)
The tiger talisman
is inside one of these pies.
Pfft. Piece of cake... Er, pie.
We just join the contest
and eat till we find it.
And the beauty is,
Mr. green jeans is
our only competition.
(Footsteps approach)
Uh...
Was.
(Evil laugh)
Maybe tohru didn't
leave room for desert?
(Tweeet)
(Slurping)
(Crunch)
Somethin' crunchy in my pie.
Thank you!
Ahhh!
Gimmie that ta...
He was gonna say "pie," right?
Wha...?!
Grrr.
Huh?
47 pies!
A new record!
After 9 centuries,
all 12 talismans
have been recovered,
yet I possess only 2,
while Jackie chan has 10!
You have failed me, valmont!
Now, shendu,
just because chan's locked
them away in section 13
doesn't mean we won't find them.
The new year approaches!
It is essential that I have
all 12 talismans before then
if you ever wish to lay eyes upon
the treasure of o'in shi'huang.
Tohru!
Bring me Jackie chan.
He will surrender the
location of section 13,
with proper prodding.
(Buzz buzz)
Chinese new year rocks!
Especially the sweets.
Jackie: Jade.
2 more days till new years.
Aww.
Hot cha!
Jackie, the tiger talisman
possess the power of balance.
Cool!
So, whoever has it
can't lose their...
Whoa!
The kind of balance your parents in
Hong Kong sent you here to learn.
Within each and every one of
us lies conflicting forces:
Yin and Yang,
light and dark,
good and evil.
Like Jackie àhas a dark side.
I do. Her name is Jade.
Ba-dum-pum-tch!
Balance?!
That's not even a real power.
Good. I will enjoy taking this
powerless talisman to section 13,
so we can put this
quest to rest.
While Jade will enjoy making
tea for her dear old uncle.
Rrr.
Huh?
Cracked?
How did...?
(Crunch)
Ahh.
Whaa?!
Whoa!
Whew. Mirror.
Oh! Where's the other half?
(Crunch)
(Crying) Uncle!
What is it?
I stepped on a bug!
(Crying)
Tea is ready, dear uncle.
(Gasps)
Mmm. Good.
Jackie!! That's my candy!
Not any more. Got milk?
What happened to Jackie?
He is such a crybaby!
He's such a jerk!
He is in the library weeping
all over my research!
No, he's in the kitchen,
raiding the fridge.
Jackie? Jackie?
Whaa! Whaa!
(Braaaack)
Whaa! Whaa!
Hmm...
When the talisman broke,
Jackie's yin was
separated from his Yang.
Whoa.
Jackie-lite and Jackie-dark.
I am the dark side.
I murdered a bug!
You're the side
who ate my candy?
You're evil! Eviiiil!!!
Not evil.
Just lacking sound judgement
without his good
side to guide him.
So, each of you has
half of the talisman?
Good.
You must join them together
to reunite into one Jackie.
Me and wimpy?!
Oh, please, no!
He burps out loud without
saying "excuse me"!
You must restore balance!
But... ow! But... ow!!
Ow!
Oo, you will pay for that!
Ow! Oh!
Uh... Jackies?
(Growls) (Whimpers)
The dark hand.
Hide the talisman!
What are we gonna do?
Laugh like circus clowns
while they scream for mercy.
Run!!
Guess we'll never
know if 2 jackies
are better than... whoa!
This is no place for children!
Chan, you're coming with...
Oh!
Hey. You didn't
even let him finish.
(Crack)
(Crack)
Ahh! Whoa!
Fighting is not nice.
Get him!
Jackie-lite is still
packin' Jackie moves,
but I bet he's gonna need some
"Jade dark" to balance him out.
Men: Ow! Ugh! Ow!
Seem like chan's in a
particularly bad mood today?
You mean the psycho?
He copped my jacket!
Oh, who cares?
Look what I copped.
Hey!
Grrr.
Run! Totally run!
Uncle: Hiyeee! Hyah! Hyah!
Grrrr.
Ahhh!
Ahhhhhhhhh!
Huh. He'll never catch us.
Weren't we supposed
to catch him?
Shut up.
(Imitates guitar playing)
It's him!
Ahh!
Here. Take it.
What, and spoil my fun?
This better be good.
Ahhhhhhh!
Ahh!
(Gasps)
Chinese new year rocks!
Half a talisman?
It's a start, I suppose.
Now tell me the location
of section 13 or...
(vidphone rings)
What is it?
We got chan.
Valmont: I know.
He's right here.
He is?
No, he's not. He's right here.
Oh, hello.
How are you?
The tiger talisman is the glue
that binds the
conflicting powers
of all the other talismans
into one unified whole.
If it was divided by chan,
it is likely that chan
himself is divided
into light and dark.
So, which chan do we have?
And when the fish hit the road,
you guys all went, "bwaaa!"
(Laughing)
Ya know, chan, you're all right.
Yeah.
Too bad we gotta eliminate you.
Eliminate me?
(Door opens)
Shh, shh. It's big "v."
Valmont: Perhaps there
is another option.
Bring me the talismans
from section 13,
and I will make you rich.
Works for me.
Get in there.
Are those seats real leather?
Oh, those poor cows!
(Jackie sobbing)
(Gunfire)
Section 13! They're shootin'!
Get down!
(Fireworks popping)
Jade, this is terrible!
I know, I know.
I shouldn't be playing with fireworks.
Yes, that's very true.
But even worse,
those bad men captured
my other half!
We need section 13's help,
but if captain black sees you,
he's never gonna believe
there's another you
who needs rescuing.
So you have to wait
here, capiche?
Uh-huh. Good.
Now, hand me your
half of the talisman
so I can put it in the
vault for safekeeping.
Captain black!
The dark hand captured Jackie!
What?! We've got to...
You almost had me, scamp.
(Humming)
But I'm serious!
He's in trouble!
Now, now, Jade.
I just saw Jackie.
Look, there he goes again.
Heh heh.
You totally blew it!
I told you to wait outside!
Cool jacket.
Get your mitts off it.
Grrr.
Why are you being such a...
Jerk?
Brother!
You're ok!
Oh, are you going fishing?
Went.
Talisman fishing.
Oh! You're a bad boy.
And you're ugly!
Now, where's the other
half of the tiger?
Oh, that tickles!
Ugh!
Aah!
Ugh.
Ok, meanie! What are you...
Was I mean to you?
Oh, I'm sorry!
What are you àdoing down here?
I told you to wait outside.
The bad me. Stole the talismans.
Most of them, anyway.
You gotta stop him!
I tried scolding him, but...
I mean "stop" him!
You know...
Hyah! Aiyyee! Hyah!
Hyah! Aiyyee! Hyah!
Oh! Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Fighting is not nice.
Rrr.
Wait!
You can't do this!
If the dark hand gets
all the talismans,
then something really,
really bad is gonna happen!
So?
But you're not evil, remember?
Uncle said everyone
has yin and Yang.
You can't be all Yang.
Yang-dang-doodle.
Doobie-doobie-doo.
Jackie.
(Jade growls)
Hyah!
I liked these.
Oopsie?
Hyaaah!
Hyaaah!
Ah, ah, ah.
It's not nice to
drop-kick little girls.
See? If he has a fighting side,
then you've gotta have
a, er, nice guy side.
Once I give these to valmont,
I'll have a rich guy side.
Give me that, you little gnat!
Ah, ah, ah!
Name-calling is not nice, either.
Jackie-lite may need a
little magic back-up.
(Straining) Come on! Come on!
Ooh, let's get you
an icepack for that.
(Vidphone rings)
Any sign of chan?
No.
Then get off your
tremendous behind!
I want those talismans!
Yes, master.
(Straining)
(Pants)
Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ooh!
Smarts.
I like the burn.
Ahh!
Hyah!
Oh, I got you all dirty.
(Strains)
Yes!
These are not the talismans!
Let me go!
Help!
Jackie!
Jade!
Too bad. I kinda liked her.
She's scrappy.
Oh! She's family!
We have to save her!
We do?
You'll get to fight
more bad guys.
8... 9...
10 and 11.
Yes.
I can feel my power returning.
The statue talked?
You guys are working
for a statue?
Quiet!!
11 1/2.
What?
Valmont and shendu:
Where is the other half?!
(Whistles casually)
It's always tohru's fault.
Everyone blames tohru. Huh?!
So, which one's
on our side again?
Jackie-dark: Black's
not my color.
(Elevator music plays)
(Crack)
(Crack)
Come on down.
Can't we get along?
(Straining)
No! Stop, please! Stop! (Laughs)
I said "please."
The chans are in the building.
They do not possess
the missing half.
Well, it must be...
Somewhere.
Hey, you have pretty decent
chops for such a big baby.
Oh, I owe it all to teamwork.
Don't touch me.
Jade: Jackie!
Stop him! He has all 12!
Stop! Stop!
Hy...! Hy!!
Game over, chan.
Way over.
I live!!!
Rrrrrrrrr.
Jade: Hey, Jackie?
Yes?
What's your favorite junk food?
My favorite junk food?
My favorite junk food...
Ice cream
yum yummy.
I love ice cream.
Chocolate,
vanilla, strawberry.
That's all.
Mostly I like ice cream,
but after I ate
ice cream today...
Chocolate...
More punching, more kicking.
Ow!
Let's go to eat some ice cream.
The tiger talisman
is inside one of these pies.
Pfft. Piece of cake... Er, pie.
We just join the contest
and eat till we find it.
And the beauty is,
Mr. green jeans is
our only competition.
(Footsteps approach)
Uh...
Was.
(Evil laugh)
Maybe tohru didn't
leave room for desert?
(Tweeet)
(Slurping)
(Crunch)
Somethin' crunchy in my pie.
Thank you!
Ahhh!
Gimmie that ta...
He was gonna say "pie," right?
Wha...?!
Grrr.
Huh?
47 pies!
A new record!
After 9 centuries,
all 12 talismans
have been recovered,
yet I possess only 2,
while Jackie chan has 10!
You have failed me, valmont!
Now, shendu,
just because chan's locked
them away in section 13
doesn't mean we won't find them.
The new year approaches!
It is essential that I have
all 12 talismans before then
if you ever wish to lay eyes upon
the treasure of o'in shi'huang.
Tohru!
Bring me Jackie chan.
He will surrender the
location of section 13,
with proper prodding.
(Buzz buzz)
Chinese new year rocks!
Especially the sweets.
Jackie: Jade.
2 more days till new years.
Aww.
Hot cha!
Jackie, the tiger talisman
possess the power of balance.
Cool!
So, whoever has it
can't lose their...
Whoa!
The kind of balance your parents in
Hong Kong sent you here to learn.
Within each and every one of
us lies conflicting forces:
Yin and Yang,
light and dark,
good and evil.
Like Jackie àhas a dark side.
I do. Her name is Jade.
Ba-dum-pum-tch!
Balance?!
That's not even a real power.
Good. I will enjoy taking this
powerless talisman to section 13,
so we can put this
quest to rest.
While Jade will enjoy making
tea for her dear old uncle.
Rrr.
Huh?
Cracked?
How did...?
(Crunch)
Ahh.
Whaa?!
Whoa!
Whew. Mirror.
Oh! Where's the other half?
(Crunch)
(Crying) Uncle!
What is it?
I stepped on a bug!
(Crying)
Tea is ready, dear uncle.
(Gasps)
Mmm. Good.
Jackie!! That's my candy!
Not any more. Got milk?
What happened to Jackie?
He is such a crybaby!
He's such a jerk!
He is in the library weeping
all over my research!
No, he's in the kitchen,
raiding the fridge.
Jackie? Jackie?
Whaa! Whaa!
(Braaaack)
Whaa! Whaa!
Hmm...
When the talisman broke,
Jackie's yin was
separated from his Yang.
Whoa.
Jackie-lite and Jackie-dark.
I am the dark side.
I murdered a bug!
You're the side
who ate my candy?
You're evil! Eviiiil!!!
Not evil.
Just lacking sound judgement
without his good
side to guide him.
So, each of you has
half of the talisman?
Good.
You must join them together
to reunite into one Jackie.
Me and wimpy?!
Oh, please, no!
He burps out loud without
saying "excuse me"!
You must restore balance!
But... ow! But... ow!!
Ow!
Oo, you will pay for that!
Ow! Oh!
Uh... Jackies?
(Growls) (Whimpers)
The dark hand.
Hide the talisman!
What are we gonna do?
Laugh like circus clowns
while they scream for mercy.
Run!!
Guess we'll never
know if 2 jackies
are better than... whoa!
This is no place for children!
Chan, you're coming with...
Oh!
Hey. You didn't
even let him finish.
(Crack)
(Crack)
Ahh! Whoa!
Fighting is not nice.
Get him!
Jackie-lite is still
packin' Jackie moves,
but I bet he's gonna need some
"Jade dark" to balance him out.
Men: Ow! Ugh! Ow!
Seem like chan's in a
particularly bad mood today?
You mean the psycho?
He copped my jacket!
Oh, who cares?
Look what I copped.
Hey!
Grrr.
Run! Totally run!
Uncle: Hiyeee! Hyah! Hyah!
Grrrr.
Ahhh!
Ahhhhhhhhh!
Huh. He'll never catch us.
Weren't we supposed
to catch him?
Shut up.
(Imitates guitar playing)
It's him!
Ahh!
Here. Take it.
What, and spoil my fun?
This better be good.
Ahhhhhhh!
Ahh!
(Gasps)
Chinese new year rocks!
Half a talisman?
It's a start, I suppose.
Now tell me the location
of section 13 or...
(vidphone rings)
What is it?
We got chan.
Valmont: I know.
He's right here.
He is?
No, he's not. He's right here.
Oh, hello.
How are you?
The tiger talisman is the glue
that binds the
conflicting powers
of all the other talismans
into one unified whole.
If it was divided by chan,
it is likely that chan
himself is divided
into light and dark.
So, which chan do we have?
And when the fish hit the road,
you guys all went, "bwaaa!"
(Laughing)
Ya know, chan, you're all right.
Yeah.
Too bad we gotta eliminate you.
Eliminate me?
(Door opens)
Shh, shh. It's big "v."
Valmont: Perhaps there
is another option.
Bring me the talismans
from section 13,
and I will make you rich.
Works for me.
Get in there.
Are those seats real leather?
Oh, those poor cows!
(Jackie sobbing)
(Gunfire)
Section 13! They're shootin'!
Get down!
(Fireworks popping)
Jade, this is terrible!
I know, I know.
I shouldn't be playing with fireworks.
Yes, that's very true.
But even worse,
those bad men captured
my other half!
We need section 13's help,
but if captain black sees you,
he's never gonna believe
there's another you
who needs rescuing.
So you have to wait
here, capiche?
Uh-huh. Good.
Now, hand me your
half of the talisman
so I can put it in the
vault for safekeeping.
Captain black!
The dark hand captured Jackie!
What?! We've got to...
You almost had me, scamp.
(Humming)
But I'm serious!
He's in trouble!
Now, now, Jade.
I just saw Jackie.
Look, there he goes again.
Heh heh.
You totally blew it!
I told you to wait outside!
Cool jacket.
Get your mitts off it.
Grrr.
Why are you being such a...
Jerk?
Brother!
You're ok!
Oh, are you going fishing?
Went.
Talisman fishing.
Oh! You're a bad boy.
And you're ugly!
Now, where's the other
half of the tiger?
Oh, that tickles!
Ugh!
Aah!
Ugh.
Ok, meanie! What are you...
Was I mean to you?
Oh, I'm sorry!
What are you àdoing down here?
I told you to wait outside.
The bad me. Stole the talismans.
Most of them, anyway.
You gotta stop him!
I tried scolding him, but...
I mean "stop" him!
You know...
Hyah! Aiyyee! Hyah!
Hyah! Aiyyee! Hyah!
Oh! Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Fighting is not nice.
Rrr.
Wait!
You can't do this!
If the dark hand gets
all the talismans,
then something really,
really bad is gonna happen!
So?
But you're not evil, remember?
Uncle said everyone
has yin and Yang.
You can't be all Yang.
Yang-dang-doodle.
Doobie-doobie-doo.
Jackie.
(Jade growls)
Hyah!
I liked these.
Oopsie?
Hyaaah!
Hyaaah!
Ah, ah, ah.
It's not nice to
drop-kick little girls.
See? If he has a fighting side,
then you've gotta have
a, er, nice guy side.
Once I give these to valmont,
I'll have a rich guy side.
Give me that, you little gnat!
Ah, ah, ah!
Name-calling is not nice, either.
Jackie-lite may need a
little magic back-up.
(Straining) Come on! Come on!
Ooh, let's get you
an icepack for that.
(Vidphone rings)
Any sign of chan?
No.
Then get off your
tremendous behind!
I want those talismans!
Yes, master.
(Straining)
(Pants)
Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ooh!
Smarts.
I like the burn.
Ahh!
Hyah!
Oh, I got you all dirty.
(Strains)
Yes!
These are not the talismans!
Let me go!
Help!
Jackie!
Jade!
Too bad. I kinda liked her.
She's scrappy.
Oh! She's family!
We have to save her!
We do?
You'll get to fight
more bad guys.
8... 9...
10 and 11.
Yes.
I can feel my power returning.
The statue talked?
You guys are working
for a statue?
Quiet!!
11 1/2.
What?
Valmont and shendu:
Where is the other half?!
(Whistles casually)
It's always tohru's fault.
Everyone blames tohru. Huh?!
So, which one's
on our side again?
Jackie-dark: Black's
not my color.
(Elevator music plays)
(Crack)
(Crack)
Come on down.
Can't we get along?
(Straining)
No! Stop, please! Stop! (Laughs)
I said "please."
The chans are in the building.
They do not possess
the missing half.
Well, it must be...
Somewhere.
Hey, you have pretty decent
chops for such a big baby.
Oh, I owe it all to teamwork.
Don't touch me.
Jade: Jackie!
Stop him! He has all 12!
Stop! Stop!
Hy...! Hy!!
Game over, chan.
Way over.
I live!!!
Rrrrrrrrr.
Jade: Hey, Jackie?
Yes?
What's your favorite junk food?
My favorite junk food?
My favorite junk food...
Ice cream
yum yummy.
I love ice cream.
Chocolate,
vanilla, strawberry.
That's all.
Mostly I like ice cream,
but after I ate
ice cream today...
Chocolate...
More punching, more kicking.
Ow!
Let's go to eat some ice cream.