JAG (1995–2005): Season 7, Episode 8 - Jagathon - full transcript

Sir.

Good to see you, Lieutenant.
Let's go on in.

(engine revving,
tires squealing)

(tires squealing)

(onlooker shouting)

Oh, my God.

Ma'am, are you
all right?

Where did he come from?

I didn't even see him.

Ma'am, are you injured
in any way?

No. I don't think so.



Do you have a cell phone?

Yes.

Get out of the car

and dial 9-1-1.

Okay.

(man grunting)

Oh, my leg.

(groans loudly)

You may have a severed artery,
Sergeant.

Can you help me, sir?

Is he okay?

Sir,

I want you to put
your hands here.

All right, Sergeant,
I'm going to unlace your boots.



Nothing.

Sergeant, I'm going to have

to apply a tourniquet.

You want to use my tie?

No. Just keep
the pressure on.

(groaning)

Do you have a pen?

Yeah.

Hang on to it.

Okay.

All right,
this is gonna hurt.

Now the bleeding stopped.

They're minutes away.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

MAN:
Petty Officer Dill?
Nice job, son,

but when you're done with this

you're going to have
to come with me.

Colonel, can we talk?

Talk.

If you and I can
decide on a deal,

we can end this now.

Let me think about it.

Hey, I'm doing
you a favor here.

I'm the one
holding the cards.

Your client impersonated
an officer, Commander.

And then saved
a man's life.

Which you haven't failed
to mention

at every juncture
of this trial.

CHEGWIDDEN: ...makes me
proud of all of you.

(applause, hooting)

Anyway, I wanted
to go over the details

of our first ever
charity Jagathon.

The response has been excellent.

We have over 30 entrants

in tomorrow's
ten kilometer race.

We have raised over $9,000
for the Pentagon Victim's Fund.

(applause)

Lieutenant Sims, our coordinator
and creator of the event,

will now give you the rest
of the details.

Lieutenant.

Thank you, sir.
Thank you.

(applause)

First of all, the sign-in
will be at the south end

of Carter Park at 1100.

We'll have water stations
all over for you guys.

Uh, I have a master-at-arms

and a corpsman for security
and any medical emergencies.

The first and only prize,
as I'm sure you are all aware,

is highest rank privilege
for a whole day.

(applause and cheering)

Okay, and don't
forget females

get a three minute
head start, so go, ladies.

Sir, I'd like to go on record

saying I consider that unfair,
and frankly, unnecessary.

Lieutenant Sims,

can Lieutenant Singer start
with the men?

If she prefers to, sir.

CHEGWIDDEN:
So be it.

Admiral, in that case, I would
like to start with the ladies.

(laughter)

Ladies, take your marks.

I now pronounce the Jagathon
officially underway.

(applause and cheering)

PETTY OFFICER TINER:
When was the last time
you ran this distance, Gunny?

Marines run all the time,
Tiner.

Yeah, but you're
a desk jockey now.

Are you questioning
my fitness?

No. Just curious.

Huh.

I don't know. Six weeks.

What about you?

Oh, yesterday.

Maybe you better consider
pacing yourself.

I'm not worried.

That's the jarhead
in you talking.

I'd take it easy.

And I'd take your sorry
squid tactics out of my face.

ROBERTS: I think what you're
doing is really cool.

I'm very proud of you.

Thank you, sweetheart.

I'm glad you
said that

'cause I need a little
something from you.

Anything.

I want you to have fun
in the race tomorrow.

I haven't entered.

Yes, you have.

On your marks, get set...

(applause and cheering)

The petty officer's heroics are
a significant factor, Colonel.

Not in terms
of his guilt.

Now all you
have to do

is convince the members
of that, huh?

Hi.

Hi.

Hey, uh, did you scope out

the track yet?

I haven't signed up.

HARM: The academy's top
middle-distance runner.

Why not?

It didn't feel right.

I already made a contribution
to Lieutenant Sims.

Well, Sturgis,
there's no one

in this race who
can touch you.

I think the winner should
be someone

who's been here
for a while, huh?

Excuse me.

I am available
to talk further, Colonel.

Sounds like someone

who's looking
to make a deal.

His client saved a life
while impersonating an officer.

It's been a challenge
trying to stay on point.

The commander turns everything
into a forum

on the petty officer's good deed

and why he should
have been accepted

to OCS
in the first place.

Smart.

(sighs)

Yeah, if you were me?

Offer that the adjudged
confinement be suspended

so long as the accused takes
his bad conduct discharge

packs up and leaves.

You think the commander
will go for it?

I would.

Um...

Good luck.

Oh, Harm?

Maybe we can

find a time to sit down
and talk.

When?

Um...

when it happens.

Oh.

All right.

Hey, uh...

I hope you do well tomorrow.

Yeah, same to you.

Um, are you feeling
like you're ready?

Hey, with Sturgis
out of the way,

I have no competition.

Commander, what are you
doing in last place?

Kicking myself.

It'll look bad
if you don't participate

in a race that I organized.

It's too long.

I just can't handle
the distance.

You've been jogging
with Commander Turner.

Yeah, but I go
a couple miles

and he has to
go get his car
and pick me up.

Jogging has been so good
for you, Bud.

You're losing weight.

You can go
at your own pace.

Well, I didn't
get any pledges.

I got some for you.

Okay, look, Harriet,
the point is

is that I'll be
out there with
my colleagues;

people that I
see every day.

No one's a professional, Bud.

They'll all be starting
in the same position you are.

But I'm afraid that I'm
going to embarrass myself.

Well, then don't do it
for yourself.

Do it for me.

Why?

Because I have
more faith in you.

You know what I'm going to do
with my first place prize?

I'm going to grant
everyone in JAG Ops

highest rank
for an hour.

Won't work, Tiner.

Why not?

Once you to get
to Lieutenant Singer,

she'll countermand
your previous order

and make herself
JAG forever.

What I'm going to do...

Don't look at me
like that, Tiner.

I have as much
of a chance of winning as you.

I didn't say anything.

(groans)

You two look like
you're glued together.

Here you go, guys.

Me, neither, ma'am.

I'm ready to talk,
Commander.

I'm sorry, Colonel,
but I'm off the case.

At least for the
next 24 hours.

What happened?

Another client of mine escaped
custody this morning,

was apprehended and is being
arraigned in 40 minutes.

You can't ask
for a continuance?

No. Colonel Blakely claims
it'll push his schedule.

My new co-counsel
is taking the lead.

You'll have to make
your deal with him.

RABB:
Why were you turned down
for OCS?

A previous psychological
evaluation, sir.

The doctor reported
I was confused.

Did he give you a reason?

That's never been made clear
to me, sir.

So why did you do it?

I was frustrated, sir.

I wanted so badly
to wear an officer's uniform

I went out and bought one.

Well, what did you expect
to accomplish by doing this?

I wanted to prove

that I was right
about myself, sir.

Even if others disagreed.

The blues that I bought, sir,
fit like a glove.

It was like a sign.

Do you wish to continue
your career in the navy?

Absolutely, sir.

I know I can contribute.

Well, Petty Officer Dill,

with your consent,
I'd like to take a run at it.

You got it, sir!

This feels right to me.

Why is that?

I like you energy, sir.

It's centered.

On your left.

(breathing heavily
and wheezing)

Try and stay

in one place, Lieutenant.

(chuckles)

(wheezing)

Save yourself.

Your wasting it on me.

I consider that
an insult, sir.

(wheezing)

You're doing great, sir.

Am I far behind?

Oh, very much so, sir.

This is a very
interesting case, Mac.

Let's deal.

He wants to stay
in the navy.

Absolutely not.

Well, I'm going to have
to go with him on this one.

What?!

I like the kid.
I'll see you in court.

Well, not only
are you contradicting

what you told me earlier,

you're using my doubts
about this case against me.

Hey, I have the right
to change my mind, Mac.

The moment
I don't think

you can overcome
your doubts,

I'll suggest you hand
in those oak leaves.

Commander, are you aware

that your substitute counsel is
unwilling to deal?

Yes, Colonel.

He talked me into it.

You're not going

to hold this against me.

Yes.

What are you going to do,
not talk to me?

No. I'm going to beat you
in the race tomorrow.

(laughs)

Mac.

You don't think I can.

Not without a shortcut.

Hmm.

Look, I want
you to do well,

but reach for something
attainable.

This is attainable.
I have three minutes on you.

Hey, you could have six minutes
on me

and you wouldn't beat me.

Fine. I'll take it.

Interested in placing a bet
on tomorrow's race?

Are you a bookie now?

Oh, loosen up, Lieutenant.

What kind of bet?

You know, five, $10.

You do realize
this is for charity.

I'll take that response
as a no.

In light of
what's going on

in the world today, Lieutenant,

don't you think this is
a little bit... frivolous?

No, in fact,
I think the opposite.

We could all use a little relief
from the tension,

especially those of us charged
with defending our country.

Lieutenant, you're defending
a corporal

who's been accused
of stealing a motor scooter.

You know what I mean.

Okay, look, go ahead and
do whatever you're going to do

'cause you never
listen to me anyway.

You having a bad day?

I promised Harriet that I'd run
in the race tomorrow.

So?

Obviously you've never
seen me run.

Then walk.

SINGER:
The pot is now up to $176.

Now don't forget,
money can be wagered

on more than just first place.

You can bet on anyone--
including yourself--

to win, place, show, finish
dead last, or not finish at all.

Hmm, did you bet on
yourself, Lieutenant?

What do you think,
Gunny?

Fifth.

Let it never be said

you suffer from a lack
of confidence, ma'am.

Which is a subtle way
of saying I overreach?

No, I actually haven't, uh,

done that much thinking
about it, ma'am.

Maybe you will when I greet
you at the finish line.

(crowd oohs)

Whatever, ma'am.

Any last bets?

No? Okay, window's closed.

Good luck.

Excuse me, ma'am.

Could you look
in your book

and tell me how much
money is on me to win?

As I recall, Tiner... none.

None?

I don't understand,
ma'am.

I used to run cross-
country in high school.

Why isn't anyone
betting on me?

WOMAN:
Hi.
Watch out!

(grunting)

Sorry.

Where the devil
were you looking?

(laughing): See you
at the finish line, Tiner!

(laughing)

(grunts)

Admiral?

I just got off the phone
with the SECNAV's yeoman, sir.

SECNAV's niece is a pre-law
student at Georgetown

and he thought
she would enjoy

a tour of our offices.

Did he?

Sir, I told him I'd have
to check with you first.

But he's expecting it
to happen anyway.

Yes, sir.

All right, set it up.

You take care of it.

I'll shake her hand

and exchange exactly one
minute of pleasantries.

Aye, sir.

Then put her someplace,
out of the way.

Understood, sir.

Who was it last year,
his brother-in-law?

Yes, sir, the television writer.

Was he the one that kept
asking me if I'd killed anyone?

You showed great restraint, sir.

Let's hope I can maintain it.

What the hell is this?

It's a call, sir.

Are you out
of your mind?

Well, no, sir, you asked me
to hold it for you.

I didn't tell you
to harass me with it.

I'm in a race here.

Yes, sir, but...
Take a message.

Um...

Hey, uh, good
luck in court.

Hey, you, too.
You, too.

Listen...

about before...

What do you mean?

This thing with Mac and I.

We're just in a
weird place right now,

so don't let it
bother you, all right?

Okay.

It's bothering you.

I don't even know
what you're talking about.

Well, you were
sensing something.

Tension.

There you go.

I don't know anything
about your relationship.

Doesn't mean
anything to me.

Right.

Just don't assume
anything, all right?

Like what?

Like nothing.

Whatever you're thinking,
you're probably wrong.

If you say so, buddy.

'Cause Mac and I
are just friends.

Now, I didn't say you weren't.

I know.
Is there some reason
to believe otherwise?

No.
'Cause you seem
to be suggesting...

I'm not suggesting
anything.

Were you ever a couple?

No.

Did it come up?

Harm, are you involved with her?

I'm not.

You sure?

Look, anyone who has ever
been involved with Mac

is either dead
or feels like they are.

Excuse me.

Hey...

Please.

How's it going, Colonel?

What?

I... I'm sorry, sir.

Everything okay?

Uh, yeah, everything's fine.

Good.

Uh...

Carry on.
Thanks...

TINER:
You'll never
make it.

I don't have time
for this, Tiner.

We'll deal with it tomorrow.

(breathing heavily):
It's over, Gunny.

Dinner at Orsino's
says you don't finish, Tiner.

Bottle of scotch
says you drop.

RABB:
One thing's for sure,

neither of you is going to win.

Commander Gilfry,
are you a navy psychiatrist?

I am.

Was Petty Officer Dill
a patient of yours in 1999?

Yes, he was.

MacKENZIE:
What was the reason
for these visits?

His C.O. at the time
made the recommendation.

He claimed the petty officer

was fabricating stories
about his accomplishments.

What did you determine?

I noted some
identity dysfunction.

Were you surprised when you
later heard the petty officer

had been caught
impersonating a navy lieutenant?

No, it was consistent
with my evaluation.

What do you believe is
responsible for this behavior?

Objection.

Your Honor,
this is getting

into psychiatrist-patient
privilege.

Your Honor, that
privilege only applies

to confidential communication
made after November 1, 1999

when Rule 513
came into effect.

She's right, Counselor.
Overruled.

Answer the question,
Commander.

Petty Officer Dill
is likely reacting

to what happened in his youth.

He indicated
he wasn't respected as a child

and forced to take on
inferior roles.

He was subjected to
verbal abuse and criticism,

and because he
was never encouraged,

he felt unworthy.

Did this have an effect
on his development?

As an adult, his
personality appears

to have remained immature
and prone to fantasy.

MacKENZIE:
So, was putting
on the uniform

a way for Petty Officer Dill
to embrace another reality?

Yes, I believe so.

Thank you.
No more questions.

Commander, I pulled this article
off the Internet an hour ago.

Did you write it?

Yes, it's a contribution

to a behavioral psychology
Web site.

Uh, please,
read the title for us.

"Compensating Grandiosity
in the Year 2000:

A Clinical Evaluation."

What does that mean?

It's the terminology
used to describe

the behavior I attributed
to Petty Officer Dill.

RABB:
Are you an expert
on the subject?

I certainly know about it.

Do you encounter
this condition often?

Often enough.

Oh. The article is based
on 32 case studies.

In a year,
on average, Commander,

how many patients do you see?

A few hundred.

32 out of a few hundred.

That's a pretty
high percentage, isn't it?

I suppose.

Do you have
a referral system set up?

Some way to attract these cases
from other psychiatrists?

No.

Oh, just lucky, then,
I guess.

Objection.

Sustained.

Is there anything
about the navy, Commander,

that encourages
this type of condition?

Nothing that comes to mind.

Commander, the reason you see
so many of these cases

is because you're looking
for them-- isn't that true?

No.
And the condition
keeps appearing

because it's in your best
interest for it to do so.

Objection.

The commander's
already answered the question.

Sustained.
Don't push it, Commander.

Are you sure you want to push
yourself like this, sir?

Yes.

You're looking
a little flushed, sir.

Not concerned.

Well, I don't want to see you
hurt yourself, sir.

Can I... Can I get you anything?
Water? Anything?

You can do me a favor,
Lieutenant.

Listen, I realize
we're having a bad day.

I've known you
to reach before, Harm,

but that tactic was way
below your standards.

Well, you forgot effective.

It's a cheap way
of obscuring your
client's problem.

My client's problem is
he was reacting to rejection

from someone who should've been
a little more open-minded.

Now, if you only
believed that.

I do believe it.

You've betrayed and offended me,

why not insult my intelligence?

I think he deserves
a second chance.

Listen...

what I said earlier
about your exes...

Harm, I don't want to talk
about that right now.

Would you accept an apology?

Fine.

Okay, uh, this thing
about the race.

Can we also agree not to make
a big deal out of that?

(sighs):
Not even with your handicap?

I don't care about the handicap.

Oh, you're holding to it?

I made the statement.

Do I sense goodwill here?

Mac, winning isn't important
to me tomorrow.

Mac, I don't want to compete
with you anymore.

Colonel?

Uh, Commander Rabb
has a message for you.

He says, "Enjoy your lead

because it won't be long
before you're eating his dust."

ROBERTS:
Harriet...

I have my pledge
sheet for the race

and I signed it.

Thank you.

You're running tomorrow,
Lieutenant ?

Yes, sir.

I'm pleasantly surprised.

We have my wife
to thank for that, sir.

Excellent.

Excellent.

Uh, you'll be fine.

Let me give you a pointer.

Don't give in to
your body too early.

You're going to have
to push through

the initial point
of exhaustion.

There's more than one, sir?

Well, what I mean...

Look, sir, the truth is,

I'm going to do everything I can
to try and finish.

It's okay, Bud.

Well, hold on, Lieutenant,

I think it's important
he keep his expectations high.

It's only six miles.

With all due
respect, sir,

there's no reason
for him to push.

It's only a race.

You're right.
You're right.

My apologies.
Good luck, Lieutenant.

Just do the best
you can, Bud.

(breathing heavily)

(breathing heavily)

What are you doing
still running?

You're supposed to have
dropped out by now.

What are you
talking about?

Everybody agreed

that your
not finishing the race

was the safest bet
on the table.

What do you mean
by "everyone"?

Uh... forget I even
mentioned it.

MACKENZIE:
Would you state your name,
rank, and duty station, please?

Ramsey Dill, Petty Officer
Second Class,

stationed aboard
the USS Gainesville.

Has this ever been a point of
confusion to you, Petty Officer?

No, sir.

Your C.O. says you lied to him
about your accomplishments.

Is that true, Petty Officer?

It is not, sir.

What did you tell him?

That I was
a congressional intern

and a junior circuit
tennis player.

And why do you think
he disbelieved you?

DILL:
Because of my background.

RABB:
What is your background?

I was one of six raised

in a tough neighborhood
of Detroit.

My mother, she didn't work,

my father was in
and out of prison.

Did you discuss any of this
with Commander Gilfry?

Yes, sir.
Were you asked

how you obtained your college
degree, Petty Officer?

No, sir.

Please, tell us.

Objection, relevance.

It goes to character,
Your Honor.

I'll allow it.

I went to school
at night, sir.

RABB:
For how long?

Over a seven-year period.

Did anyone else
in your family

go beyond secondary
education?

I'm the only one, sir.

How did you do it,
Petty Officer?

Those are considerable
handicaps.

Through faith, sir.

Faith.

Did you have a momentary
lapse in faith

the night of September 23?

Yes, sir, I'm afraid I did.

Did you purchase

a navy lieutenant's uniform

from a surplus store
and put it on?

I did, sir.

Why?

The simple answer, sir

is that I was angry
about being rejected for OCS.

Thank you.

But I think there was
something bigger at work, sir.

I wouldn't have been there
to save that man's life

if I hadn't been wearing
an officer's uniform.

Thank you. Nothing further.

Petty Officer Dill, are you
saying you were guided

the evening you impersonated
an officer?

In a sense, ma'am.

By whom, God?

I don't know, ma'am.

Did you hear a voice?

No, ma'am,
this is in retrospect.

So that makes
what you did right?

Objection, Your Honor.

The petty officer has already

made his understanding
on this matter clear.

Overruled.

I'm not saying that what I did
was right, but...

it did turn out
to be a good thing.

Would you do it again?

No, ma'am. I realize...

Even if
you were being guided?

Well, that depends.

On what?

On what I was being asked to do.

No more questions.

Redirect, Your Honor.

Petty Officer,

did God tell you to put on
that officer's uniform?

No, sir.

Did you put it on

because you believed
you were officer material?

Yes, sir.

Thank you.
No further questions.

(breathing heavily)

RABB:
Let's be someone else
for a moment.

Imagine a childhood filled
with hardship and pain.

You see the navy as a way
to better your station in life.

You muster

the initiative to get
a college degree

in your spare time.

You seek the opportunity

to lead... to influence

other young people
with similar handicaps.

But you are summarily rejected

for reasons
you don't understand.

One night...

you see a uniform
in a surplus store window,

and you think

"Was I so wrong about myself?

If I were to put this on,
would it not feel right?"

And, in a moment
of intense curiosity,

you buy it, you put it on

and it fills you with purpose.

You realize, in fastening
that last brass button

that this simple
dress blue jacket

with the stripes on the sleeves

is the absolute fulfillment
of your destiny.

You feel so serene,
so confident

that when you go out that night

and see a fellow serviceman
imperiled, you rush to his aid

embodying the mantle
of officerhood

to which you so deeply aspire.

You assess the scene,
initiate action

and remedy the situation.

Now what do you think
of yourself?

Are you a criminal...

or do you represent everything
you've always believed

you could be?

(gasping)

You wanted to see me, sir?

Close the door.

Have a seat, Commander.

This is personal,

so I trust you'll keep this
conversation to yourself.

Of course, sir.

As a matter
of principle

I try not to pry

into the personal lives
of my people.

Understood, sir.

But, uh...

given recent events,

I have some concerns
about the colonel.

I was wondering if you
might have some insights.

What sort of concerns, sir?

Well, she seems upset.

Today, in particular, Admiral?

Yes.
Well, Admiral,

that might have something
to do with me

uh, not agreeing to settle
on a case.

Well, I get

a sense of hurt...

Well, that, uh,
that may also, uh, have to do

with an indiscreet comment
I made, sir.

...and anger?

We were discussing
the Jagathon, Admiral, and...

You're responsible for this?

It's one of those days, I guess.

I, uh, I seem to be
pushing her buttons.

Commander, can you stop
doing that?

I am trying, Admiral.

And why the hell

are you arguing about a race?

Mac thinks that I am not
treating her participation

in this race
with enough respect.

(chuckling)

And, uh... as a result

I have agreed to grant her--
and I guess the rest

of the field--

an additional
three-minute handicap.

Why wouldn't you respect her?

She's not a runner, Admiral.

She jogs.

Says who?

I'm sorry?

Well, since her return,

the colonel and I
have been running together

three mornings a week.

We've been training
for tomorrow's race.

(breathing heavily)

Commander!
Sir?

Ease up!
You're breathing too hard.

You look flushed!

I'm fine, sir.

You've been training.

You don't knock?

You played me.

And you condescended to me.

I was operating under
an incorrect assumption.

Instead of asking questions.

You should have told me.

You want
your three minutes back?

No.

Then I'll see you on race day.

Huh.

About the SECNAV's
niece, Admiral.

She's in your hands, Tiner.

Apparently not, sir.

Excuse me, Admiral.

I've been told the SECNAV

prefers you escort her

around JAG, sir.

Was this a request
or a demand?

Sir, I was given her phone
number and available dates.

Call his yeoman back
and tell him--

and you can quote me--

that we are too damn busy
to hold the hand

of some mollycoddled
schoolgirl.

If she is genuinely
interested

in military law, I suggest
that she enlist.

Yes, sir.

Would Monday or Tuesday
of next week work, sir?

Tuesday.

Reschedule my morning
appointments, cancel my lunch.

Aye, sir.

I'm sorry, sir.

Didn't you hear me earlier?

Sir, it's beyond
my control.

Who the hell is this?

(gasping)

Loud and clear, Mr. Secretary.

She's where?!

Sir, we set this up
for Tuesday--

there's no one
in the office today.

Yes, sir, we'll-we'll consider
it our mistake.

Yes, sir, I'll call the, uh,
I'll call the, uh, guard gate.

I'll authorize them
to let her in.

I should be there in,
uh, 20 minutes.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.
Good-bye, Mr. Secretary.

(grunts)

Where are you
going, sir?

(under breath):
To hell in a handbasket.

Mac!

Commander Rabb!

I need you
to stop, sir.

Sir!
What are you doing?!
Get out of my way!

I'm sorry--

I'm sorry, sir, but
more than one person

has expressed concern about
your physical condition.

The corpsman
needs to determine

if you can continue
the race, sir.

(gasping)

JUDGE:
Commander, will you please read
your decision.

Signalman Second Class
Ramsey Dill,

United States Navy,

on the charge and specification
of impersonating an officer

this court-martial finds
you guilty.

Will the senior member please
read the sentence.

This court sentences you
to no punishment.

JUDGE:
We are adjourned.
(bangs gavel)

Thank you so much, sir.

You're welcome,
Petty Officer.

You realize that this incident
will always be on your record.

I understand, sir,

but some real good
did come out of this.

I now know what I want
to do with my life.

What's that?

I've decided to go
into medicine, sir.

Well, from what I've observed,
you're up to the challenge.

I appreciate the support,
Commander.

I don't need to be examined;
I feel fine.

You look flushed, sir.

I just ran five miles.

Lieutenant, I am not happy!

Sir, it'll only take a second.

The corpsman just needs
to check your vitals.

"Admiral, I had a lunch date
with my mother.

"Couldn't wait any longer.

"Tried to call you
on your cell phone,

but whoever answered didn't
speak English."

RABB:
You should've seen
the members' faces.

I mean, there was no way

they were going to punish
the petty officer.

In retrospect,
I wish I'd downplayed
the confession aspect.

I might even have walked away
with a not guilty verdict.

Ah, what turned
them around?

MACKENZIE:
The oldest trick
in the book:

characterize the accused
as one of them

and then ask them to forgive
themselves for being human.

I saw your face,
Colonel.

You were sold.

Rhetoric aside, you believe
Petty Officer Dill is

as deluded and confused as I do.

You just can't handle the idea
of not winning.

Oh, and you were
trying to lose?

Admit it-- you enjoyed
the challenge

so you rose
to the occasion.

(uncomfortable chuckle)

Is something wrong,
Commander?

No, I'm sorry, but do you two
always get this personal?

No.
Yes.

Or is it me?

No.
Yes.

This is clearly
none of my business,

but I'm feeling you might want
to deal with it.

Deal with what?

Whatever's going on here.

What do you think
that is?

I'm not sure.

He doesn't know
anything.

Is there something to know?

Because when I asked you
last time,

you wouldn't answer me.

What are you
expecting to hear?

Are you two involved
with each other?

That's what this is about?

You think that Harm
would cheat on Renee?

Well, I'm talking
about since they split.

You split?

TURNER:
What I'm trying
to say is...

(sighs):
This is none of my business.

Yeah, I think I better go.

Colonel...

Colonel, I apologize
if I stepped in something...

I, I could've said
that better.

I...

Why are you so interested in
my relationship with Harm?

It interests me only
in how it affects me.

It has nothing
to do with you.

Then why I am caught
in the middle of it?

It's like a giant vacuum

that sucks everything
into its path.

Maybe the solution is
to stop questioning it

and trust that Harm and I
can work out our differences

to everyone's satisfaction.

Well, you see,
that's the problem.

You're working it out
in a space that I occupy.

I don't see anyone
else complaining.

I guess they're used to it.

Then get used to it.
Why should I?

Because we're
all human here.

We get upset at each other
from time to time.

But this time, Colonel,
it became unprofessional.

It's almost like something
you'd see on a soap opera.

Oh, you mean,
about like arguing
about personal issues

in public, with a
coworker, Commander?

Point made.

Then allow me
to make another one.

It's unfair of
you to accuse us
of being intrusive

when you're doing
the same thing

with Lieutenant Roberts.

What do you mean?

I know that you pushed him
into jogging with you.

He's out of shape.

And did you address that
because it offended you?

No.

I thought
I could help him.

Then maybe you
can help us, too

by being more understanding
and less judgmental.

I'm sorry, sir, when I requested
a corpsman, I just assumed...

What were you doing?

Hanging around sick bay
answering phones?

I feel like I've
let you down, sir.

This is not good,
Petty Officer.

I'm going to talk
to your C.O.

Well, sir... at least let me
take your blood pressure...

Sergeant,
get him out of here!

Lieutenant, are you taking
bets on the Jagathon?

Yes. It's not a secret.

In fact, I'm surprised
you just found out.

That troubles me, Lieutenant.

We're not doing it
on government property.

And besides, I think it adds
color to the proceedings.

You mean green.

Yeah, just like
our pledges.

Only in this case,
it allows us to
have some fun.

I think you're having fun

stepping on my event,
Lieutenant.

I'm sorry you
feel that way.

Would you feel better
if I asked the winner

to donate his or her take
to the Pentagon Fund?

I would feel better if you
would stop kicking everybody

on your way to the top.

We would all have
fewer bruises

and you would be less alone.

(panting)

Do you need some help,
Lieutenant?

No.

All right.

(sniffles)

(whimpers)

(cries)

Commander...

I don't want to talk
about it right now.

Well, ever?

Now's not a good time.

GALINDEZ:
And grab a toothbrush,
'cause I when I win,

you'll be scrubbing every head
in the facility.

Well, I'm glad you're not
feeling competitive, Gunny.

You bring it out
in me, Tiner.

Don't look so glum, Bud.

Oh, you'll be lucky
if I finish by sundown.

When you do finish,
I'll be right there for you.

Give me two seconds.

(TV playing, knocking on door)

Enter.

Admiral there's...

(turns off TV)

Have a seat, Commander.

Thank you, sir.

Admiral, I'm having some trouble
fitting in here,

and I was wondering

if you had any thoughts
on the matter.

Yes. You're delusional.

Next matter.

With all due respect, sir,

I get the distinct feeling

I'm not loose enough
for this office.

This is by no means
a criticism.

I do consider this to be
my own problem, sir.

Commander, do, um, you insult
your colleagues?

Uh, no, sir.

Do you become peevish or private
when questioned by a superior?

Not generally, sir.

Are you able to do your job
without dragging my six into it?

So far, sir, yes.

Then you are a profoundly
welcomed addition

to JAG, Commander.

I thank you for
the support, sir,

but that still
doesn't completely

address my problem.

Well, then your "problem,"
Commander,

is that you haven't chosen
to recognize

what rest of us find
very obvious:

that you're already
an accepted member

of this family,

and I expect you to contribute
here for some time.

Longer, uh...
probably, than myself.

(panting)

Isn't this the way
it used to be?

Uh-huh.

Huh?

Can you live with that?

As long as I win.

Lieutenant, I'm glad I
caught you before you left.

Is this
about your case, sir?

Eh, the Jagathon.

Oh, well,
I'm sorry, sir,

if you'd like
to place a wager,

you'll have to do that
with Lieutenant Singer.

I'm not interested
in betting.

I want to enter.

(both breathing heavily)

(both groan)

Why didn't you tell
me about Renee?

Well, I don't know, Mac.

It occurred too late
for it to mean anything.

In English, please?

I couldn't.

She broke up with you?

It's been over
for a while.

I'm sorry.

So am I.

Sorry I...
sorry I couldn't tell you.

Were you afraid
you'd look foolish?

Maybe. I don't know.

I don't know why we couldn't
work things out with us, Harm.

So where does
that leave us?

I don't know, Mac,
at the end, I guess.

How about back
at the beginning?

I am so sorry, you guys.

I wanted to be here,

but I had to take care
of Gunny and Tiner.

MACKENZIE:
What happened?

Gunny pulled a muscle

and Tiner
bruised a rib.

They didn't finish the race?

No.

(laughs)

What?

Well, they both won
their bet then.

Well, what happened
with you guys?

Who beat who?

It was a tie.
It was a tie.

Oh...

Well, then I guess
you both can share second place.

TURNER:
Congratulations.

RABB:
When did you finish?

Four minutes ago.

Uh, Lieutenant
Sims informs me

that I can start my highest rank
privilege anytime I choose.

That's great.

I, uh, choose now

and, being your superior

I have a...
I have an order for both of you.

Hey, Lieutenant.

Well, pretty tired of
this, huh, Commander--

me dropping out and you
coming to pick me up?

Why are you dropping out?

I'm just doing what
everybody expected.

Nobody expected you to quit,
Bud.

Well, then why did
you bet that I would?

Who told you that?

You haven't been talking
to Lieutenant Singer, have you?

(groans)

Kill me now.

Sweetie, I'm sorry.

I'm tired...

What can I say?

Say you'll meet me
at the finish line, Bud.

Say hello to your
encouragement, Bud.

Hello, encouragement.

Let's go!