JAG (1995–2005): Season 7, Episode 11 - Answered Prayers - full transcript

( bell jingling,
people talking excitedly )

( women laughing )
Merry Christmas.

Thank you, sir.

Help save the children.
Here you go.

Thank you, ma'am.
Thank you.

Merry Christmas.

Change a 20, Santa?

Merry Christmas.

( clattering )

In there.

( man speaks indistinctly )



( grunting )

There.

( people talking excitedly )

What happened?
You all right?

( clattering )

There.

Right.

Hey! Hey!

Hey, hey, hey!

My shift is over,
soldier boy.

Sorry, Santa.

Hey.

WOMAN ( over P.A. ):
Mrs. Evans
to the toy department.

Mrs. Evans to the toy
department.



( knocking on door )

Anyone there?

WOMAN:
What is it?

Please open
this door.

Hi.

Can I help you?

Petty Officer
Jennifer Coates,

you're under arrest.

SIMS:
The eagle has landed, sir.

You're sure that's
what he said?

Those are Commander Turner's
exact words, sir:

"The eagle has landed."

Then there is
a Santa Claus.

Sir?

That means that Sturgis
found a starter motor

manufactured between
January and March 1968.

That's great, sir.

You always want original
parts, Lieutenant.

Of course, sir.

It's a guy thing,
Lieutenant.

Men are always very fond
of their original parts.

( chuckles )

Plans for the
holidays, Loren?

A romantic Christmas

and that's all
I'm saying.

CHEGWIDDEN:
Enter.

Have a seat.

Sorry to do this
two days before Christmas.

Petty Officer Third Class
Jennifer Coates

is an electronic technician
aboard the USS Gainesville.

She has high proficiency marks
for her skills

but has a record
of insubordination

and unauthorized absence.

Earlier this week, she resisted

apprehension
and was caught

impersonating Santa Claus
and pocketing the cash.

How much did she get, sir?

Uh, $48.18.

That's barely a misdemeanor.

SINGER:
She took money intended
for a charity, sir.

What could be more heinous?

Save it for closing arguments,
Lieutenant.

You'll be prosecuting.

Commander, you will defend.
( knocking on door )

Let's wrap this one
up quickly. Tiner?

Sorry to interrupt, sir.

This just came in.

Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, et al
v. The United States Navy...

Tiner, is this a joke?

From a base
in Keflavik, Iceland, sir.

Reindeer broke through
a runway fence.

Base security corralled
the reindeer

in order
to safeguard them.

Some kids
in New York

saw it on ZNN and got scared

Santa wouldn't be bringing
any Christmas presents.

One of their fathers
is a lawyer, sir.

"Federal class action..."

"Emergency motion
to release impounded reindeer"?

I can see the headlines now,
Admiral:

"Navy Grounds Santa Claus."

That will be all, Commander.

Each year 170 enlisted personnel
are given SECNAV nominations

for admission to
the U.S. Naval Academy.

You're a very lucky man,
Petty Officer.

You have friends in high places.

As his special assistant,
SECNAV has asked me

to look into
your application.

Your evals are
outstanding

and your application
essay heartfelt.

Thank you, sir.

However, there are
several questions

regarding your record.

When serving on
the Wake Island,

you fired a CIWS into
a "no engage" sector?

Yes, sir.

But that wasn't Mikey...

Petty Officer Roberts' fault,
Commander Lindsey.

Another sailor came forward
and admitted to tampering

with the petty officer's
fire control system.

And the incident in Mazatlan?

That was a scam

to shake down
the navy, sir.

It says here that
your father helped you

out of that jam,
Petty Officer?

He'd seen many
foreign ports, sir,

and had a feel
for what happened

and how to do deal
with the situation.

Retired Master Chief
Storekeeper Roberts.

Prosecuted
for wrongful disposition

of military property
and larceny.

He was acquitted, sir.

You have an interesting
family, Petty Officer.

But a naval academy
midshipmen

must be of sterling character;

must demonstrate a clear
potential for leadership.

Commander, I think
I'm up for the challenge.

The navy's my life.

Serving my country,
fighting for my country,

especially now,
that's all I want.

And if you give me this chance,
I'll be a damned...

...darned good officer.

You make a good case
for yourself, Petty Officer.

We'll be
in touch.

RABB:
Okay, drop the resisting.

She pleads to U.A.
30 days confinement.

She returns
the Santa suit.

60 days plus reduction
in rate to E-Four.

COATES:
In the brig?

That's kind of steep, Loren,
for a first infraction.

First charge.

Petty Officer Coates
was previously

officially reprimanded
at captain's mast

for gambling aboard
the USS Gainesville.

Like I was the first sailor
to ever play poker, ma'am.

That'll be enough,
Petty Officer.

She also bet
on the anchor pool.

I've done that,
Lieutenant.

But you never yelled,
"Man overboard"

to delay the anchor drop
to win a bet.

You rigged
the anchor pool?

None of this would
have happened, sir,

if I'd done
a lousy six months

in Frederick County Jail.

Jail?

A couple bounced checks.

What else?

A little
shoplifting

here and there.

The judge over in Hagerstown
had it in for me.

He gave me a choice:

serve my time or
serve my country.

Do you have a great desire

to remain in the navy,
Petty Officer?

Yes, sir.

That's why I was standing
on a street corner

impersonating Santa Claus.

How'd you like to be
home for Christmas?

Petty Officer Third Class
Jennifer Coates.

Unauthorized absence,
resisting apprehension.

Are we going
to dispose of this?

Your Honor, this court
has no personal jurisdiction

over Petty Officer Coates

and these charges
should be dismissed.

Do tell, Commander.

Ma'am,
her enlistment

was not voluntary.

It's therefore
defective.

Under The United States
v. Catlow, ma'am...

I'm familiar with the case.

I thought congress
took care of that

and civilian judges stopped
sending us their mistakes.

Lieutenant Singer,

what's the government's
position on this motion?

We will argue there was
a constructive enlistment

and demand an evidentiary
hearing, ma'am.

Lieutenant, there is
no way to get

the state court transcripts here
before the holiday.

Then we'll take this up
after the holidays.

The Bailiff
will transport

the defendant to... Oh...

Actually, I allowed the bailiff
to go do his Christmas shopping.

Defense Counsel will transport

the defendant to restricted
barracks at Anacostia.

Merry Christmas, Commander.

MAN:
Children around the world
have taken up the cause

of the reindeer imprisoned
by the U.S. Navy

at Keflavik Naval Air Station,
Iceland.

Will they be freed in time
to lead Santa's sleigh

or will they remain incarcerated
on a lonely naval base

in the frozen North?

( knocking on door )

Enter.

Excuse me, Admiral.
More letters, sir.

Hand them to me.

( loud thud )

Thank you, Tiner.

Aye, sir.

MAN:
We've closed up
for the holidays, Commander.

Everyone's either deployed
or out on good behavior.

Can I help
you, sir?

I have a pretrial detainee.

I could call the brig and let
them know you're on your way.

Lock me up for the holidays?

Well, if you're in the
commander's custody,

Petty Officer,
it's his call.

Either he can take you
to the brig, or...

Or...?

Or I can return you
to your unit.

They're aboard
the USS Gainesville, sir,

deployed on exercises
off the coast of Panama.

Or I can place you with a second
party whom I trust,

who will guarantee
you'll not go U.A. again.

That sounds a lot better
than ten days behind bars, sir.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

Merry Christmas.

Same to you.
Good luck, sir.

You could leave me with
my brother, Hal, sir.

He's very responsible.

What does Hal do?

He's a CPA, sir.

Family man.
Straight arrow.

His wife Helen's
an excellent cook.

Roast goose
is her specialty.

Next Friday, he can
take me to court himself.

( upbeat music playing )

♪ It's holiday time ♪

♪ Hear those sleigh bells
ringing ♪

Not so fast, Petty Officer.

♪ Get your Christmas boxes
swinging ♪

Jen, that you?

Hey, Tiny.

Where's Hal?

Oh, he went for more beer.

My brother's
shopping, sir.

I'll just...
I'll wait here for him.

You got a brother?

♪ We got the jukebox jumping ♪

Nice try.

Who the hell's your brother?

Where are we
going now, sir?

Well, Petty Officer,

unless you have
another relative...

Father, sir.

He's a minister.

♪ It's holiday time ♪

He is.

♪ Everybody's singing... ♪

MIKEY:
What's wrong with going
to the naval academy?

What's wrong
with being an enlisted man?

Nothing. I just thought
you would be pleased.

I guess it's all right
if you want to be

a ringknocker like
Harmon Rabb Jr.

Dad, what I want is to get
a great education

and be a naval officer.

How in the hell are you going
to pass electrical engineering?

I was at the top of my class
in "C" School. Top of my class.

Son, they can train a monkey
to be a fire controlman.

Dad, Mikey is motivated.

He has a goal.

Hey, I'm trying
to spare him the heartache.

What heartache?

Not everybody gets
what they want in life.

It's time Mikey learned that.

RABB:
Reverend Coates?

What'd Jennifer do now?

Merry Christmas to you,
too, Daddy.

I'm Commander Rabb, sir.

I'm with the JAG Corps.

You want to leave her here?

Yes, sir.
Just until next Friday.

What's the matter,
all the jails full?

Closed actually, like your mind.

Reverend, I'm going
to need you to take

responsibility
for the petty officer

just until her court date, sir.

I rented out your room.

You can sleep on the sofa.

Not in the manger?

That's about the gutter level
I expect from you.

Come in
if you're coming.

Want to stick around
for plum pudding, Commander?

Let's go.

Sorry to put you
through that.

Don't pity me, sir.

Don't you dare.

CHEGWIDDEN:
Tiner, do you know

what reindeer eat?

Not offhand, sir.

Apparently, neither do
the mess cooks in Keflavik.

Been feeding them leftovers.

All nine reindeer
are indisposed.

Now all the children
of the world think

we're poisoning
Santa's sleigh team.

Admiral,
the reporter

from the Times
called again, sir.

He wants your comment
on several rumors

that have been circulating
on the Internet.

Christmas dinner
at Keflavik, sir?

The Times wants to know...

is it really going
to be venison?

SIMS:
I hope you'll join us
for eggnog tomorrow night

before we go to church.

At your home?

It is Christmas, Loren.

Since we're all
headed to hear

Commander Turner's
father preach,

I thought,
you know, maybe...

Okay. Well, I've got
nothing better to do.

Sorry.

Kevin was supposed
to come from Boston.

A suite at the Willard,
romantic dinner...

Who's Kevin?

Commodities trader.

Aggressively
sweet.

What happened?

His family insisted
he join them at Hyannis.

Somehow they forgot
to invite me.

But he sent his regrets.

Are those real?

( elevator bell dings )
They'd better be.

CHLOE:
And then this one's
from Bahrain.

Dad said that I'd be really good
at riding a camel

but that the jumps
might be tricky.

I'm sorry you couldn't be
with your dad for Christmas.

This was going to be
our first Christmas together,

but then he got deployed
when the world got all freaky.

( "O Holy Night" playing )

There's just so much
I want to tell him

that I can't
say to Grandma.

Well, you can tell anything,
Chloe.

Okay.

There's this boy....

And...?

Can a best friend
become your boyfriend?

( softly ):
Sometimes...

if you're lucky.

( knocking on door )

RABB:
Mac, it's me.

♪ A new and glorious morn ♪

♪ Fall ♪

♪ On your knees... ♪

Merry Christmas.

Thank you.

Perfume, right?

I hope so.

Um, your present's
under the tree.

Lieutenant
Colonel MacKenzie,

Chloe Madison,

this is Petty
Officer Coates.

She's...

His-His prisoner.

Cool.

Uh, come in.

♪ When Christ was born ♪

You'll do anything

not to spend Christmas alone,
won't you?

RABB:
That's what I want
to talk to you about.

I want to know
if you wouldn't mind

looking after
the petty officer just at night.

She really is
your prisoner?

It's a long story.

I have Chloe.

I think it would be cool, Mac.

I'm going back to Vermont
tomorrow, where it really snows.

Um...

Okay, just one night.

You don't mind sleeping
on the couch?

I've slept in stranger places.

MIKEY:
Maybe Dad is right.

The whole thing is crazy.

Midshipman Roberts?

You can do it, Mikey.

You've got your foot
in the door.

The back door.

Come on, Bud.

Those academy guys
are all brainiacs.

Hey, don't let Dad get to you.

How'd you do it?

Do what?

Become an officer?

Go to law school?

Have a life?

Oh, I had... a couple of
people who believed in me...

loved me.

ROBERTS:
Hey, buddy.

Getting ready
for bed?

Give me a kiss.

I'll be in
in a minute.
Okay.

Kiss good-night.

Night-night,
Uncle Mikey.

Night-night.
Night.

Good night,
little A.J.

All right.

Now I see what you mean,
only I don't have good friends

like Commander Rabb
and Colonel MacKenzie

or a woman like Harriet.

Mikey, I never thought
it would happen to me either,

and then one day... it did.

You've just got to stick it out
and hang in there.

Have faith.

Yeah.

MacKENZIE:
So, any news
about your brother?

Oh, the Red Cross say
he's doing fine,

considering he's a prisoner.

Winter in Chechnya, though.

Are you okay?

Um, I got a postcard from Mic.

He's spending his Christmas
at sea.

I got a postcard
from Renee's mother.

Renee and the mortician
are honeymooning in Maui.

That's what you get after
two years of loving someone:

a postcard.

I bet you know
a lot about guys.

Way too much.

There's this boy
in my class, Rick.

You want him to like you?

Yeah.

Steal his watch.

What?

Then find it.
He'll owe you.

RABB:
Listen, Mac,
thanks for taking care

of the petty officer.

Where are you headed?

Um... I've got to meet

Sturgis.

CHLOE:
He's the sweetest horse.
you're ever going to meet.

He's a baby.

Petty Officer,
I'll see you tomorrow.

Not if I see you first.

It's a joke, sir.

Make sure that it is.

0900.

See you, Chloe.

Bye.

( door closes )

RABB:
Sturgis, did you ever get
in trouble as a kid?

The only son
of Chaplain Turner.

What do you think?

Come on. Never?

When I was 12,
I borrowed

a bicycle without asking.

To my father,

wrongful appropriation
was the same as stealing.

Why'd you do it?

Show my
independence...

you know, get out
from Dad's shadow.

Some stupid kid reason.

What did he do to you?

Or should I ask him
tomorrow night?

No, no. He forgave me.

He forgave me.

'Course that was after

I scrubbed the chapel floors
with a toothbrush, but, uh...

Yeah.

( engine starting )

( chuckling )

You did it.

We did it.

I could have done this
without you.

What do you say we take her
for a little spin?

Without a top?

What if it snows?

Since when are you afraid
of a little snow?

Since I sunk my entire
bank account into this baby.

I don't know if you noticed,
but it's winter outside.

MacKENZIE:
You're pretty handy
in the kitchen.

I ran away from home;

I got a job as
a short-order
cook when I was 14.

Is that legal?

I told the manager
I was an orphan.

You lied?

More like wishful thinking.

I used to make things up.

Mm. Chloe used to tell people
that I was her mother.

Then I realized you can't
have everything you want.

So, I settled
for a big sister.

I stopped acting out
when Mac found my father.

Yeah, maybe she could
help me lose mine.

MacKENZIE:
That's a terrible thing to say.

I doubt you'd
understand

any better than
Commander Rabb.

Try me.

The two of you
are so perfect.

A couple of recruiting posters.

I could just picture
your childhoods.

( phone rings )

You don't know anything.

Lieutenant Colonel MacKenzie.

Mac's father was an alcoholic,
her mother ran off,

and Harm's father was shot down

Everything's
fine.
in Vietnam,
Christmas, 1969.

I never even knew my father
till I was 11.

And Harm has a brother
in a Chechen prison.

You're not the only one
with problems.

She's right here.

Chloe, it's for you.

Hello.

Daddy!

CHLOE:
I knew you were
going to call.

Colonel, I'm-I'm sorry
for what I said.

That's all right,
but if you want to talk...

Talk about what?

I don't know-- your future.

You're an electronics
technician, right?

How'd you know
that, ma'am?

Commander Rabb told me.

And you're pretty good at it.

All fours and fives
on your evals

except
for conduct.

Why did he even bother to look?

( sighs )

Because he cares.

He cares so much, he spent
the day trying to get rid of me.

My guess is that you can
be pretty annoying,

Petty Officer Coates,

and the commander
doesn't like

to be a junior
in that department.

( laughs )

What are your goals,
anyway?

Stay out of jail.

Mm, lofty ambition.

I don't know.

I... I want a job
that I like...

the right guy, a couple kids.

Two out of three
would be all right.

You know what that makes you?

No, ma'am.

Just like the rest of us.

COATES:
Colonel MacKenzie told me

how much you love
your old Thunderbird.

RABB:
Corvette.

It's a 1968 Mako Shark.

Fiberglass body,
rally red.

That fits you, sir.

How'd you end up with the Lexus?

Guy named Gemmill
stuck me with it.

Oh, no, not again.

This has
happened before?

Yeah. 29 months
and seven days ago.

Next time
buy a Subaru.

Sorry.

This is unbelievable.

( keypad beeping )
I...

7th Precinct, Officer Greene.

Hi. This is Navy Commander
Harmom Rabb.

I'm with the JAG Corps.

I need to report a stolen car.

Sir, you know
it's the day before Christmas.

Yes, I'm aware
it's the day before Christmas.

All right, hang on.
Thanks.

Sir, you'll have
to come in

to the station
to make the report.

So?

So, who would do something
like this?

Sir...

I mean, what kind of a low-life
scum goes around stealing

other people's stuff?

I'm sorry.
I-I didn't mean you.

Yeah, you did.

Look, sir,
some people steal

because they want
what other people have.

Some for the thrill...

some just for the attention.

Is that your story?

You want to know the truth?

( cell phone rings )

Rabb.

Happy holidays.

( explosion, glass rattling )

RABB:
What the hell was that?

I gave my nephew a chemistry set
for Christmas.

He opened his Christmas present
early?

That's what I wanted
to talk to you about, Rabb.

Well, if you're wondering
what you can

get me for Christmas,
you can get me a new car.

( multiple explosions )

Where the hell are you anyway?
Kabul?

( glass clattering )

RABB:
Webb?!

Hello?

( static hissing )

Let's get out of here.

Where are we going, sir?
I got to see
the authorities.

You're taking me to the brig?

I have to go
to the 7th Precinct.

They need me
to report this in person.

( sighs )

They drag me out of retirement
this time every year.

Make yourself comfortable.

Sir.

This will be Dad's
50th Christmas sermon.

That's right.

Let me have
your things, Dad.

There you go.

First one was during
the Korean War.

Sasebo, Japan.

A company of marines
who had just returned

from Heartbreak Ridge.

Headed straight
for the brothels.

Well, the only way to get
those marines in the chapel

was to hire the ladies of the
night to sing in the choir.

You ever hear "Silent Night"
in Japanese, Admiral?

( chuckling ):
No.

I've heard it in Vietnamese
by French nuns in Can Tho.

We climbed our way
out of the Delta,

made it to an old
French plantation

for services under
the stars.

Most of us never thought
we'd make it back home

for Christmas again, but a...

navy chaplain lifted us out
of the mud and despair.

"In a time of great hardship,

"a star appeared,
brighter than the rest

"giving us hope
that God is with us,

"that no matter the depth
of the darkness,

God's love shines in the night."

That was you.

Sir, those, uh...

those words gave
us great comfort.

They still do.

Thank you.

That's, uh, good to hear.

( knocking on door )

Excuse me, Admiral.

The clerk of District Court
in New York just called, sir.

There's to be a hearing
by telephone

on the restraining order
at 1900.

Thank you, Tiner.

Aye, sir.

What kind of case
needs to be heard

on Christmas Eve, sir?

Reindeer rustling.

At Keflavik?

We saw that on TV.

Seabees are fixing

the perimeter fencing
around the runway,

but until then,

the navy is keeping
the reindeer corralled.

Chaplain at Keflavik's
an old friend.

Maybe he can help.

I've got a federal judge
breathing down my neck.

It may take more
than just prayer.

Oh, that's a
beautiful bracelet.

A Christmas gift.

One-of-a-kind.

( whistles )

What'd you have to do
to earn that, Lieutenant?

I'm sure it was
given with love,
Master Chief.

Mm-hmm-hmm.

I thought so, too, Colonel,
until I went to the jeweler

to have it appraised
for the insurance.

They're not real?

Oh, they're real.

But the jeweler
called me "Patty."

Turns out Kevin
sent the same

one-of-kind bracelet
to a Patty Sachs,

and on cross-examination,

he admitted
he sent an identical one

to a Wendy Pearson.

A serial Santa.

A serial jerk.

( knocking on door )

SIMS:
Commander!

Merry Christmas.

Oh, Merry Christmas.
Come on in.

Thank you.
Hi.

Lieutenant Sims,
this is Petty Officer Coates.

It's Jennifer, ma'am.

Very nice to meet you,
Jennifer.

This is for Baby A.J.

Thank you.

Welcome. Come in.
Make yourself at home.

Thanks.

Lieutenant Roberts,
Petty Officer Coates.

Hi.

Lieutenant.

Master Chief Roberts,
retired.

Master Chief.

Call me Big Bud, honey.

( cell phone rings )

Excuse me.

Rabb.

Rabb! Let's try this again!
( helicopter blades whirring )

RABB:
Webb?

Where the hell are you?

That's classified.

I've got news.

What?

Webb?

Rabb, can you hear me?

Can you hear me?

( line goes dead )

MacKENZIE:
Hey, Harm.

Hey.

How are you?

Good. You?

I'm, uh, a little beleaguered,
but I'm okay.

Is Sturgis here?

He's with his father

getting ready
for tonight's service.

SINGER:
Commander,

what is your prisoner
doing here?

( chuckles )

Don't ask.

Just where did she spend
last night?

With me.

Really?

What about tonight?

I need a beverage.

Excuse me.

MacKENZIE:
Okay.

ROBERTS:
Here you go, sir.

Aw, thank you.

Place looks great, Bud.

Sir, thank you so much.

A.J. loves this little car.

( chuckles )

Well, I hope
nobody steals yours.

Any news on your
Vette, sir?

Not yet.

Did you know that
Colombian drug dealers

love to collect
classic American cars?

Just like you'd special-order
from a dealer,

they just call up
a car-theft ring

and say, "Get me a '68 Corvette

with four-on-the-floor,
preferably red."

Hmm.

I'll just bet

your Vette's
on board a freighter

bound for Barranquilla
right now.

( laughing )

So, you're really
a prisoner?

Yes.

What do you usually do
on Christmas Eve?

Well, when I was a kid,
I'd sing in the choir,

listen to my father preach

and commit random
acts of violence.

Really?

Yeah, my old man
used to get drunk

and sing dirty
Christmas carols.

Well, mine gave sermons

that threatened damnation
for jaywalking.

So, I'm guessing
you and your dad

didn't get along too well, huh?

No.

The Right Reverend Conrad Coates

loves the Father, the Son
and the Holy Ghost.

That doesn't leave much room
for anyone else.

Yeah, my dad's a jerk.

But, you know, I love him.

How does that work?

He's the only dad I've got.

RABB:
I'm sure you know,
Master Chief,

what an appointment to the
academy would mean for Mikey.

Yeah, it'd mean he can
push enlisted men around

for the next 30 years.

He's going to have a lot
of work ahead of him.

He'll need
your encouragement.

And I need a drink.

Hey, Pop.

( indistinct conversations )

You have a great family.

Yeah. We're
a regular Brady Bunch.

It's easy to forget
there's such a thing
as everyday happiness.

What made you
suddenly remember?

I don't know.

Meeting all of you.

Humph. Hey, news flash.

Life ain't no
Jimmy Stewart movie.

( Baby A.J. giggling )

( sighs )

You know what gets me?

( puts bottle down )

I can't help my sons.

I can only hurt them.

It's always been
that way for us.

Your sons love you.

How the hell do you know that?

One of them
just told me.

Was he drinking?

RABB:
Yeah, I can be there in, uh...

15 minutes.

Thank you.

Mac, they found it.

Look, can you look after
the petty officer?

I'll be back.

Ah, okay.

Admiral.
Commander.

Good evening, sir.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.

Tiner.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, sir.

Excuse me.

Officer.

I'm Commander Rabb.

How you doing, Commander?

Sorry.

( indistinct radio
tranmissions )

It's an automatic.

So?

So, I have a four-speed stick.

( chuckles )

This isn't my car.

Well, some poor bastard's not
having a Merry Christmas.

( chuckles )

In a startling development
from the frozen North,

the reindeer incarcerated
by the U.S. Navy

have been granted
a work release.

They'll be permitted
to spend one night

under the supervision
of Santa Claus or his alter ego,

Commander Saul Ruttenberg,
a navy chaplain.

Rabbi Ruttenberg, any message
for the children of the world?

Ho-ho-ho!

Merry Christmas
and a Happy Hanukkah!

And a Happy Hanukkah
to you, too, Rabbi.

Merry Christmas, Admiral.

It is, now.

I think Chaplain Turner
has a direct line to heaven.

SINGER:
Damn it, my bracelet's gone.

I took it off
in the bathroom

and she went
in there.

I didn't steal your bracelet.

That's what you do, isn't it?

CHEGWIDDEN:
Lieutenant.

Loren, I'm sure it's
around here somewhere.

Why don't we all
look for it, okay?

I'll go look in
the kitchen. Okay?

SINGER:
I just took it off
to wash my hands.

It was by the basin.

I've already looked.
It's not there.

No sign of the bracelet, sir.

Any luck out here?

None.

Where's
Petty Officer Coates?

I thought she
was with you.

Admiral.

She left.

COATES:
Follow the lady
wherever she goes.

She's here,
she's there,

she's everywhere.

Where is she now?

That one.

Sorry.

You're cheating.

You're an idiot!

Merry Christmas.

( sighs )

Thanks.

How did you find me?

Well, I, uh...
I got a call

from the admiral,
reading me the riot act,

so I stopped by
your friend Tiny's house

and he told me you hang out
here sometimes.

I didn't steal that
witch's bracelet.

That's Lieutenant Witch to you.

Whatever.

Do you believe me, sir?

Why'd you run?

Force of habit.

You know, Jen,
a lot of people

have turned their lives
around in the military.

Respectfully, spare
me the lecture.

I really don't
belong in the navy.

I just want to get
back to my life.

What? Standing on the corner
begging for small change?

Why does any of this matter
to you, sir?

It's Christmastime.

Why didn't you just
leave me with my father?

Is that what you wanted?

No.

I spent a lifetime trying
to get away from him.

Jen, whatever you're doing,
it's not working.

Look, no one wants me,
Commander.

That's not true.

Look at you, sir!

Passing me from hand to hand.

You've done everything
you can to get rid of me.

Well, that was wrong of me,
I'm sorry.

What will Lieutenant Singer do,
sir?

Well, when she retracts
her claws from the ceiling,

she'll probably add grand theft
to your list of sins.

Don't worry about it, Jen.

We'll get through this.

I'll stay with you
every step of the way.

( sniffling )

You be a good boy, okay,
sweetheart?

Tiner, thank you
very much for babysitting.

Glad to, ma'am.
We'll be fine.

Okay. Everybody,
let's get going.

Uh-oh!

Hey, Lieutenant,
this is your lucky night.

( forced laughter )

Do you want to keep
your pension?

Commander.

Sir.

Petty Officer.

See you at the church.

RABB:
Aye, sir.

SIMS:
Commander,
is everything all right?

Absolutely.

The petty officer just needed
a long walk to clear her head.

Any luck with
the car, sir?

False alarm.

Lieutenant Singer,
about the bracelet...

Sir... um, A.J. took it
out of the bathroom.

We found it behind
the dresser, sir.

I was wrong about you.

You were quick to judge, ma'am.

And you were quick to run.

Yes, ma'am.

So where does that leave us?

Let's forget about the bracelet
and the walk around the block.

But I'm not going to dismiss

the U.A. charge
or the resisting.

That would be too much
to hope for, ma'am.

SIMS:
Okay, you guys,

let's not be late.

Well, Petty Officer...

Hey.

You made it.

Yeah. Oh, here, let me.

Oh, thanks. Great.

There.

Thanks.

Sure.

Uh-oh, awkward
moment #310.

( laughs softly )

CHOIR:
♪ Holy infant so tender
and mild ♪

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪

♪ Sleep
in heavenly peace. ♪

When God revealed himself to us,

he did so through a family.

Which is why I speak to you
tonight of Joseph,

the forgotten man
of the Christmas story.

We know much about Mary and,
of course, the Christ child,

but the Bible

makes few references
into the life of Joseph.

Therefore, he remains
somewhat of a mystery,

much as many
of our own fathers do.

But we do know that

Joseph was a gentle father
and a courageous man.

He saved his family from Herod

by taking them on the dangerous
journey to Egypt,

taught his son his own trade,
as fathers do even today.

Joseph died before Jesus
grew up to become a man

and begin his ministry.

Yet Joseph still believed.

"Blessed are those who believe

"that He will bind up
the brokenhearted

and free the captives."

At his best, a father is the
solid foundation of a house,

his support taken for granted.

At other times

he may need shoring up himself.

He may be tired,
he may be impatient,

he may be mired
in his own problems.

But always, the father looks
beyond the here and now.

He keeps one eye trained

on the next generation.

So, out of necessity,

he is a man filled with hope--

hope that a knowing God watches
over the universe;

hope that justice will prevail;

hope that we will be reunited

with our loved ones.

As Saint Paul said,

"Abide by these three:
faith, hope and love.

The greatest of these is love."

So, when we give thanks
to the Father for our blessings,

let us not forget Joseph,
or our own fathers,

that they not be forgotten
this Christmas.

May God bless you
and Merry Christmas.

CHOIR:
♪ Joy to the world ♪

♪ The Lord is come ♪

♪ Let earth
recieve her king... ♪

Chaplain, you
did it again.

Thank you, Admiral.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas
to you, sir.

Uh, excuse me.

You will be getting
formal notice next week,

Petty Officer, but, uh,
I think I can say it now.

Merry Christmas,
Midshipman Roberts.

Thank you, sir!

And, uh, Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

And good luck.

Hey, congratulations,
Mikey!
Congratulations.

Thanks, Bud.

You'll make a fine officer,
Mikey.

How can you know that, Pop?

I spent a lifetime
around officers.

And you hated them all.

Yeah, well, maybe I didn't know
them as good as I know you.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Pop.

Commander Lindsey,
I'm Loren Singer.

Oh, very nice
to meet you.

It must be fascinating
working for the SECNAV.

( vehicle approaching )
Harm...

You might want
to see this.

Excuse me, sir.

You found my car?

TURNER:
Found it? No.

You stole it?!

What are you talking about?
Took it for a little spin.

To get the new top.

Sturgis...

What?

You are all right.

( chuckling )

Merry Christmas, buddy.

Merry Christmas to you.

Harm, I don't think
we'll all fit.

( laughs )

Well, I'll come by tomorrow
and take everyone for a ride.

You all right?

Yeah, I'll be fine.

Colonel MacKenzie's offered
to let me stay with her.

I know.

We'll discuss
your case tomorrow.

On Christmas Day?

Well, I have to come by and give
everybody a ride, right?

And I still have

a present
under your tree.

COATES:
About your argument, sir,

defective enlistment, is true,

the judge made me enlist, but...

I can stay in if I want, right?

What made you change your mind?

You.

Can they throw me
in the brig for that?

Yes.

It was worth it.

It's that time.

Tell him "Merry Christmas"
for me.

( sighs )

"To Harmon Rabb Sr.

The father I never knew."

Now we're all here.

Sergei?

Hello, my brother.

How did you get here?

Well, I have a friend

in Argun who has
a friend in Grozny.

Webb.

You traded favors.

That's what I was trying
to call you about.

I traded two boxcars of wheat
for Sergeant Zhukov.

We've been on the road
for 18 hours.

Merry Christmas, Harm.

Merry Christmas, Clay.

Good night.

Uh, Mr. Webb...

You're welcome.

My brother.