JAG (1995–2005): Season 5, Episode 15 - Boomerang: Part 1 - full transcript
USS Chicago made a port visit to Sydney, Australia, 28 years ago, during the Vietnam War. It appears that, after an altercation at a waterfront amusement park, a petty officer from that ship was murdered; at the same time a seaman disappeared from the Royal Australian Navy. Recently, however, local authorities apprehended a man believed to be the missing seaman; they book him for the old murder. At Brumby's request Harm and Bud fly to Sydney because the prisoner asks to speak with a JAG officer of the US Navy; the accused tells Harm that he is the US sailor previously believed to be dead. Harm has trouble while driving in left-hand traffic. Mac escorts back to Sydney the body, long buried in the US, of the one believed to be the US sailor. The Australian judicial system takes jurisdiction. While in Sydney, Mac behaves as the Romans do. [To be continued.]
( people screaming)
( overlapping conversations)
( eerie laughter)
Did you love it?
It was okay.
Okay?!
I almost wet my panties.
From the ride or from
the way my hand was...?
You're horrible, Kevin!
Am I, Jenny?
Yes, but I love it.
MAN: Oy, that's my bird
you're kissing there, yank.
Don't go starting trouble, Ian.
Looks like you did
the starting, Jen.
What are you? An old boyfriend?
No, no, I'm her
bloody fiancé, mate.
You got to have a
ring to be engaged, Ian!
So that's all you care
about now... getting a ring?
One thing I don't
care about is you.
Guess that says it all.
Let's kick this sepo's ass.
Is that how you Aussies do it?
Three onto one?
I don't need my
mates to send you
to the scab picker.
Bring it on.
SAILOR: Hey, wait up, mate!
I'll be seeing you, yank.
Make it soon.
My ship leaves port in two days.
It's the USS Chicago.
Come on, mate, let's go.
Come on, let's go to my place.
Mm, that turned you on.
Mm, you turn me on.
Mmm...
Let it go, mate.
A slag like
Jenny's not worth it.
It ain't her.
It's the sepo he
wants a piece of.
Go get him, mate.
We'll keep the S.P.S busy.
( overlapping chatter)
( boat horn blaring)
( panting)
( water splashing)
Hey! A shark!
And a body!
( theme song plays)
REPORTER: Well, it's the third
week of record-breaking lows
and a new front today
will be bringing six
more inches of snow.
Meteorologists are warning that
there may be another 24 hours
before this system loses team.
ROBERTS: Even with the change,
I couldn't get out of the way.
And I saw the 18-wheeler
and little A.J.'s life
flash before my eyes.
You had the baby with you?
No, ma'am, but as
soon as I realized that
I might end up as roadkill,
all I could think about
was little A.J.
growing up without me.
I see him going
off to kindergarten,
playing high school football,
graduating from Annapolis...
Bud, sometimes...
you're... very...
( sneezes)
Gesundheit. Strange.
Thank you. You know...
I'm just not going to get through
this winter without pneumonia.
RABB: It's the convertible.
I caught colds every
winter when I had my 'Vette.
Now I four-wheel
through the snow,
sip my morning coffee,
listen to Jimmy Lafave.
Very...
( sneezes)
Gesundheit.
Funny. Thank you.
Sirs, ma'am, the
admiral would like
to see you in his
office, ASAP. If I may?
What's up, Gunny?
Don't know, sir.
But Commander Brumby called
him from Australia this morning.
Brumby?
Yes, ma'am.
That man's like a boomerang.
Oh, thanks. Colonel.
Oh, thanks, Gunny.
Anytime, ma'am.
During the Vietnam War,
the USS Chicago made
a port call in Sydney.
One of her sailors was murdered.
Apparently, the Aussies
have apprehended the suspect
a seaman who's been U.A.
from the Royal Australian Navy
for the last 28 years.
Not long enough.
There's no statute of
limitations on murder.
Commander Brumby
has requested our assistance.
RABB: Forensics, sir?
No. Evidently,
the suspect refuses
to talk until he's spoken
to a U.S. Navy JAG officer.
So says Commander Brumby.
You have reason to
doubt him, Colonel?
Sir, he's been trying
to get me to Australia
since the day he left.
He even offered to buy me a
business-class seat on Quantas.
Wow.
Probably an
upgrade with mileage.
MacKENZIE: He e-mails me
Sydney's air and
water temps daily.
That's right.
It's summer Down Under.
He even sends me
postcards of the beaches.
As I recall, they're topless.
Wow.
Uh, sir.
But I never, never thought that
he would pull a stunt like this.
Um, he didn't.
He should be...
He didn't, sir?
No, Mac. Um...
he requested Commander Rabb
and Lieutenant Roberts.
Oh, uh, Bud, when you're
making flight arrangements
with Commander Brumby,
make sure that he knows
we're expecting favored nations.
Business class on Quantas, sir?
Uh-huh. Oh, Mac,
what hotel was Mic
going to put you up at?
Not another word.
Come on, Mac, you left
yourself wide open in there.
Yeah, I know, and now
you've all had your laugh,
so drop it!
( sneezes)
Gesundheit.
Gesundheit. Gesundheit.
(door slamming)
She's pretty upset, sir.
Of course, it was
pretty embarrassing.
Oh, I don't think
that's it, Bud.
I think that Mac is upset
that Mic didn't ask for her.
Why didn't he ask for her, sir?
Because he's one smart dingo.
WOMAN OVER PA: Quantas
Flight 281 has arrived at Gate 37.
WOMAN OVER PA: Quantas
Flight 281 has arrived at Gate 37.
RABB: Some people never change.
My thought exactly, Commander.
Welcome to Oz.
Hello, sir. Good to see you.
You, too, mate. How's
Harriet and the baby?
Oh, terrific.
I've got pictures.
I thought you might.
Let me see, mate.
Oh, look at that.
There's his six-month birthday.
Do those biannually, do you?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
His first sled ride.
His first haircut,
and look at this, look
at this... his first step.
Quite a collection of firsts.
I know. I'm a little
overenthusiastic,
but little baby
A.J. is my first.
I hope you're working on
not making him your last.
Oh, yes, sir.
I guess you could say that.
Sorry about the dirt, mate.
I was in the outback. I'll give
her a washup on the weekend.
We going on a safari, Commander?
Down here, we
call it going bush.
I do it on the weekends.
Roo-bar on the front,
snorkel for crossing streams.
I've got a radio...
To call for help
when you get lost?
Hmm, hmm.
Care to give her
a try, Commander?
Yeah. Oh, we drive on the left.
Might be a bit much for you,
especially after
the long flight.
I slept most of the way.
The wheel's on
the other side, mate.
I know that.
I'm opening the door for you.
(sighs)
Better fasten
your seat belt, Bud.
Driving on the left side
takes a bit of getting used to.
BRUMBY: So, after Petty
Officer Kevin Lee was murdered,
Seaman Dunsmore went U.A.
and hid out with Jenny
Brooker in Woolgoolga.
Wool-what?
Woolgoolga.
It's an aboriginal name
for a banana-bender
town on the coast.
What's a banana bender, sir?
They grow bananas, Bud,
and that's what
he and Jenny did.
He eventually married her,
using the name Tom Kingsly.
How did he get caught
after 28 years, anyway?
He got unlucky.
About ten years ago, he and
Jenny moved back to Sydney,
opened a restaurant in Manly.
He'd still be there dishing
out prawns if his home
hadn't got burgled and
the burglar got caught.
Uh... sir!
( tires squealing, horn honking)
See, the detective investigating
the robbery was a constable
on the Lee murder
investigation 28 years ago.
And among the items recovered
was a watch with the USS Chicago
engraved on the back
and Seaman Dunsmore's dog tags.
Kingsly's alias didn't
hold up under scrutiny,
and when the detective
found out Jenny's maiden name
was Brooker, he
arrested Tom Kingsly,
or rather Ian Dunsmore, and
remanded into our custody.
Take a right at the circle.
Down here we go around
the circle to the left, mate.
You said take a right.
After going around
the circle to the left.
Begging your pardon, sir,
but in Australia, we drive on
the left-hand side of the road.
Why didn't you tell me?
I.D., please?
Thank you, sir.
Thanks, leader.
BRUMBY: Left, Harm, left.
That's my spot up ahead
between those two cars, mate.
Better let me park it.
I think that would
probably be a good idea, sir.
I'll give it a try.
My step-father had a
cottage in the Bahamas.
That's where I learned to drive.
Sir...
Don't they drive
on the left-hand side
of the road in the Bahamas?
Bloody hell!
Seaman Dunsmore,
this is Commander Rabb
and Lieutenant Roberts
of the United States
Navy JAG Corps.
They've flown 10,000 miles
to hear what you have to say.
I hope it's important.
It is, sir.
Thanks for coming, Commander.
You're welcome. Now,
uh... why am I here?
I'll need an American Naval
JAG to protect my rights
once I prove that I didn't
murder Petty Officer Kevin Lee.
But you are not in the American
Navy, Seaman Dunsmore.
Yes, I am, sir.
I'm not Seaman Ian Dunsmore.
( American accent): I'm
Petty Officer Kevin Lee.
BRUMBY: You're claiming the
body found floating in the harbor
that morning was
Seaman Dunsmore?
Yes, sir.
I switched uniforms
and dog tags with him.
After you murdered him.
I didn't murder him!
It was an accident!
Why didn't somebody
from his ship identify the body?
Harbor sharks had a feed on him.
There are sharks in the harbor?!
It's Australia, mate.
There's sharks in the bathtub.
You said it was an
accident. What happened?
After the run-in with
Ian and his mates,
Jen and I decided to leave
the park to avoid more trouble.
We ran for the ferry.
It pulled out just as
we got to the dock.
I've lain awake many a night,
wishing we'd got there
just a minute sooner.
( boat horn blaring)
( panting)
Ian, don't be such an ocker!
Yeah, well, what do you expect
when you take up
with a sepo, eh?
You want to slug it out?
I'm all for it, but
stow the knife.
Oh, I'll stow it...
in your gut, you sepo bastard!
No, Ian! Stop!
( people screaming)
No!
( screaming)
No! Stop!
Ian, stop!
( eerie laughter)
No!
It was an accident.
He tripped over a cleat
and fell on his knife.
If it was an accident,
why didn't you
wait for the police?
I did... for a while.
Then I realized that Ian
and I looked a bit alike
and that swapping identities
would be a way to start over.
Why the need to start over?
When I was 18,
I was forced to marry a girl
because she was pregnant.
You had a wife and baby?
I didn't love her.
I wasn't even sure
the baby was mine.
I joined the Navy to
get away from them.
You abandoned them!
They got my military insurance.
Your child grew
up without a father!
Bud, take it easy.
Running away
makes you look guilty.
Jen can testify.
She'll tell you it
was an accident.
The corroborating testimony
of a wife is next to useless.
Especially one who
ran off with a murderer.
I didn't murder him!
I don't believe you.
All that matters is
what a jury believes.
Then you'll help me, Commander?
Look, until we verify
you're U.S. Navy
there's nothing we can do.
( knock at door)
I'd like to see my wife.
Which one, mate?
I'm sure Commander
Brumby will arrange the visit.
Commander Rabb...
whatever happens...
years with Jen were worth it.
Commanders, I never
appreciated how good you were
at playing good cop/bad cop.
Who's playing? Who's playing?
Why is it so damn cold in here?
I can barely sign my name.
Furnace conked out again, sir.
Well, get the damn thing fixed!
GUNNY: Maintenance
is on it, Admiral.
But it's older than I am
and it needs to be replaced.
Not in this year's
budget, Gunny.
Tiner and I better start
chopping some
firewood, then, ma'am.
What is it, Gunny?
The FBI reports
on those fingerprints
Commander Rabb
e-mailed from Australia, sir.
Hmm, I see the
deceased is alive.
Yes, sir.
I'm trying to locate his wife
to tell her the good
news/bad news.
"Your husband's
alive, but you've got
to repay the money
you got from Uncle Sam."
Sounds like bad news/bad news.
Yes, ma'am, it does.
We'll have to ship the body
buried here back to Australia.
I prepared the necessary
papers for your signature, sir.
Where's he interred, Gunny?
Nashville, Tennessee, ma'am.
I assume you'll want
an NCO to escort
the body home, sir?
Absolutely.
You just signed
off on my cases, sir,
and I have some leave coming,
so I could escort
the body to Sydney.
Protocol only requires
an NCO, ma'am.
Yeah, but considering
the circumstances,
having an officer
escort the remains
is the least we could do.
Hell, I'd like to get
out of this damn cold.
Take a week.
I can't spare you and
Commander Rabb
longer than that.
Dismissed.
Aye, sir. Thank you. sir.
God, I'd like to be in Australia
to watch this one unfold.
It sounds like a
slam-dunk conviction, sir.
Hell, I'm not talking
about the trial.
( chuckling)
( chirping)
ROBERTS: Wow!
It's like an R-rated
Baywatch out there!
Remember, you're a
married man, Lieutenant.
Some men don't
need reminding, Mic.
Righto. The dead ones.
You boys ready?
Yeah. Um...
Oh, wow, you're
going to make a killing.
Pardon me?
A yank, dress
whites, gold wings...
You're going to
have the girls buzzing.
What about me, love?
Sorry, no gold wings.
Yeah, but I've got
a 'roo in my pocket.
( both laughing)
A round of beers and a
plate of prawns, please.
I'll have an iced tea.
You're in Australia, Harm.
A beer at lunch is
okay in our navy.
I'm not in your navy, Mic.
I'll have an iced
tea, too, please.
A beer for skippy, two
iced teas for the yanks
and prawns for three.
Nice pins for an old girl.
Let's talk about
Petty Officer Lee.
Nothing to talk about
until his identity's confirmed.
I don't think he's lying
about who he is, sir.
What would be the point?
I don't know, but the
bugger's as wily as a dingo.
I'd bet my bars he murdered
Dunsmore and calling
you here is part of his plan
to wiggle his way out of it.
Did you feel that way when
you thought he was Dunsmore?
( phone rings)
Commander Rabb.
Gunnery Sergeant Galindez, sir.
Gunny. Hey, how's Washington?
Doing a terrific imitation
of Antarctica, sir.
How's the weather Down Under?
You really want to know?
Ha! That good, sir?
Better.
Did you get the fingerprints?
Yes, sir. They
belong to Petty Officer
Kevin Lee, U.S. Navy.
Fingerprints confirm
he's Petty Officer Lee.
The admiral's going
to need to authorize
the return of the
body to Australia.
It's already done, sir.
Colonel MacKenzie's escorting
the remains in the morning.
Mac is?
Yes, sir. She volunteered.
Ask him if Bud's there with him.
Uh, yes, sir. If Lieutenant
Roberts is there,
his wife would like
a word with him, sir.
Mac is what, Harm?
Oh, Gunny,
it is wild down here!
I haven't seen so
many naked breasts
since... since...
Since when, Bud?!
Harriet?!
You didn't tell me
Harriet was on the phone!
Well, I didn't know
you were going to
talk about breasts.
I'm sorry.
She's escorting Gunsmore
body back, isn't she?
I'm sure it was
the admiral's idea.
Must have been.
Harriet's gone.
Probably looking
for a divorce attorney.
Don't be silly.
Harm's right, Bud.
She'd never do that.
Lieutenant Singer
would jump at the chance
to take the case, though.
I'm only kidding, Bud.
Sir, when are we flying home?
As soon as Commander
Brumby releases Petty Officer Lee
into our custody.
Not going to happen, mate.
Why not? I'm sure
the usual port of call
agreement was in effect
at the time Chicago
docked in '72.
That gives us jurisdiction.
This isn't some drunken
sailor busting up a pub.
He's one of ours, Mic.
He may be one of yours,
but he murdered one of
ours and he did it here.
So, he'll damn
well be tried here.
I think you scared
her off, Commander.
I think she realized
who we were.
You said that Kevin and
Jenny had a restaurant in Manly.
This wouldn't be it, would it?
Could be, mate.
So, that was Jenny.
Give the man a meat pie.
Admiral, Kevin Lee is an
American Navy Petty Officer
and as such, I feel he
should be returned to the U.S.
to stand court-martial.
For what, desertion?
No, sir...
Well, yes, sir, eventually.
Obviously, the murder
charges need to be investigated
and prosecuted if substantiated.
Commander, the murder
happened in Australia.
Any witnesses, even
if they can be found
are probably in Australia.
The police investigators,
case reports are in Australia.
Now with those givens,
why would we want to
initiate a jurisdiction dispute
to bring all those people and
documents back to the States
for an investigation and trial?
In the interest
of fairness, sir.
Are you doubting the integrity
of the Australian legal system?
Not at all, sir.
Admiral, I'm only
thinking of precedent.
We have always tried
to maintain jurisdiction
over Naval personnel
accused of crimes on port calls.
Commander, the man
deserted 28 years ago.
I don't think this
case will impact
on jurisdiction in the future.
Yes, sir.
This is because of your dislike
for Commander Brumby, isn't it?
This case will be tried in
an Australian civil court, sir.
Commander Brumby
wouldn't be involved.
Harm, let the
Australians handle it.
I'm sure justice will be done.
Yes, sir.
Good.
Admiral...
one more thing, sir.
Not realizing his wife
was on the phone,
Lieutenant Roberts made
an unfortunate comment
to the gunny.
What did he say?
A slightly libertine one, sir,
involving topless
females on a beach here.
He didn't.
I'm afraid he did, sir.
So he wants me to
refloat his sunk dinghy.
Well, anything
you could do, sir,
I'm sure would be
greatly appreciated.
I'll see what I can salvage.
Thank you, sir.
He's going to talk to Harriet.
Thank you, sir.
Well?
We're accepting
Australian jurisdiction.
The admiral
overruled you, did he?
I want to speak to Petty
Officer Lee one more time.
He's on his way to Long
Bay Correctional Complex
to await trial, but I can
arrange for you to see him.
You transferred him before
we agreed on jurisdiction.
I never had any doubt
who had jurisdiction.
You did.
When are you flying home?
When I'm satisfied
that Petty Officer Lee
is properly represented.
You afraid of me being alone
down here with Mac, Harm?
You know, Brumby,
one of these days
you and I are going
to strip blouses.
Always assumed we would, mate.
Question's only been when.
GALINDEZ: It's just
a guy thing, ma'am.
It doesn't mean anything.
It means my husband's a lech.
No, it doesn't.
It just means that, you know
guys need to
share... information.
Why does Bud feel the
need to share with you
how many bare-breasted
women he's seen?
Lieutenant, did you ever hear the
story about the guy who was stranded
on a deserted island
with Julia Roberts?
Julia Roberts was
stranded on an island?
No, she wasn't, ma'am.
It's a joke.
It's not funny, Gunny.
I haven't finished
telling it, Lieutenant.
So anyway this guy...
this average Joe is
stuck on this island
with Julia Roberts, and...
eventually, one
thing leads to another
if you know what I mean, ma'am.
They sleep together.
Exactly... and you'd think
it makes him
happy, but it doesn't.
He gets so frustrated
that he has to ask Julia Roberts
to put on his clothes,
draw a mustache on her upper lip
and pretend she's
a guy named Fred.
So he's a pervert?
No, ma'am. He just
needed another guy to tell
he was sleeping
with Julia Roberts.
Gunny, are you trying to tell me
that my husband is sleeping with
bare-breasted
Australian hussies?
No, ma'am. No, ma'am.
Lieutenant Sims.
Yes, sir?
Come with me.
Yes, sir.
Gunny... Yes, sir.
Don't ever get into
family counseling.
Aye, aye, sir.
Harriet...
Does Bud love you?
I'm not sure, sir.
Lieutenant Sims, does
your husband love you?
Yes, sir.
Good.
Dismissed.
Aye, sir.
ROBERTS: You're
not really going to fight
Commander Brumby, are you?
Why, you don't
think I can take him?
I'm sure you'll put
up a good fight, sir.
But you're not betting on me.
Well, sir, he's a
professional boxer.
Which is why
you can't fight him,
because his fists
are lethal weapons.
I promise not to sue.
You must really hate him, sir.
I don't hate him.
He just bugs me. He always has.
I don't know if
it's that smug grin
or that Crocodile Dundee
accent or the way he...
Chases after Colonel
MacKenzie, sir?
Et tu, brute?
Sir, with all due respect,
I think there's some validity to
what Commander Brumby said.
Look, Mac has
either been a partner
or a worthy adversary
for the past four years.
I just don't want to see her make
another bad choice with a man.
Well, are you certain that Commander
Brumby is a bad choice, sir?
What, you don't think so?
Sir! Is that Clayton Webb?
Hey, Mr. Webb!
( speaking French)
( man speaking French)
I guess it isn't him.
Either that, or he's on a mission
and he couldn't acknowledge us.
What kind of mission would
he be on in Australia, sir?
Well, by the looks of that
woman... mission impossible!
MAN: Cell block six, section
B, your time privileges are now...
RABB: Sorry, Petty Officer Lee,
but my request for JAG
jurisdiction was denied.
I don't care who tries to
hang me, Commander.
Or maybe I do.
You'd not only
court-martial me for murder
but tag on desertion.
Well, after all these years,
unless they're wanted
for some offense
deserters from
the Vietnam conflict
are just given an
administrative separation.
Is that true, sir?
Usually.
But I think that desertion
is the least of your worries.
We saw your wife today.
( chuckles)
How was she?
She seemed in good spirits.
Of course she's in good spirits.
She knows I didn't murder Ian.
She told you that, didn't she?
I didn't talk to her.
Why not, sir?
I didn't know that I
was in your restaurant.
I didn't know she was your wife
until she overheard
us discussing the case
and then she ran off.
Jen ran off?
As fast as she could.
Well, she's sensitive.
Probably upset hearing about it.
Look, if she's that sensitive
how's she going to handle
being on the witness stand?
Well, you said the jury
wouldn't believe her, sir.
No, they probably won't,
but she's the only person
who can corroborate your story.
The irony is, if
she was testifying
against you, they'd
probably believe her.
That's why a wife can't
testify against a husband.
You'll calm her down, Commander.
I can't defend you
in an Australian court.
Can't you get me a
dispensation or something?
Look, even if I could,
why would you want
me to represent you?
( sighs)
No matter how many
years I've lived here,
in that courtroom,
I'll still be a yank
who murdered an
Aussie to get his girl.
You saw how Commander
Brumby went after me.
You think a local defense lawyer
will put up a fight against him?
Commander Brumby
won't be prosecuting you.
He said he was.
He's the yank?
Yes, sir, that's him.
Captain Howell, Commander
Rabb and Lieutenant Roberts
of the United States Navy's
Judge Advocate General Corps.
Welcome to Australia, gentlemen.
Thank you, sir.
It's a pleasure to be here.
You don't look it.
Sir?
You look like the beer
boatswain cut your ration.
If you've got a problem,
Commander, let's hear it.
Captain, are you
familiar with the case
of Petty Officer Kevin Lee?
Enough to know that you disagree
with the decision to allow us
to prosecute him.
Sir, my disagreement ended
the moment Admiral Chegwidden
made that decision, though, sir,
I do think the admiral
would be chagrined
to discover Commander
Brumby is prosecuting.
Our Supreme Court decided
it was the only fair thing to do.
Fair, sir?
When Admiral Chegwidden
relinquished jurisdiction,
he requested you be permitted
to act as defending counsel.
The Supreme Court agreed.
That's fair, don't you think?
Yes, sir.
So, it's me against you.
That's right, mate.
You and me.
Excuse me, Commander.
Yes, sir?
Ian's mum tells
me that you're going
to prosecute the sepo
that murdered Ian.
That's correct,
Mister...? Oh, uh...
Chief Barry Toohey, retired.
I got a pub down in Bellemaine.
Ian and I were
shipmates on the Swan.
He was a good mate, sir.
I knew he didn't desert.
Do you know anything
about the night he was murdered?
I was there.
At Luna Park? Yes, sir.
I know enough to
hang that sepo bastard!
Thank you, Colonel.
Will you be needing
transportation, ma'am?
MacKENZIE: Not necessary.
Thank you.
Squad, turn!
Forward
march!
Left wheel!
Welcome to Australia, Colonel.
( sneezes)
Oh.
Thanks. I ran out of tissues.
No worries. We'll bake
that cold out of you.
Oh, it's so nice and warm here.
Look, I'm off duty.
What do you say to
a day at the beach?
Oh, that sounds great.
You know, I... I
expected Harm and Bud
to meet me here.
They're meeting
with their defendant.
Harm is defending
Petty Officer Lee?
Won't do him any good, though.
I'm prosecuting.
Oh, Mic.
RABB: Your wife should have
been here half an hour ago.
Saturday... it's a shark-feeding
frenzy at the restaurant.
And, with me here,
Jen's shorthanded.
She did agree to meet us?
Of course she did.
I calmed her down.
I told her everything
would be fine
as long as she told the truth.
Bud, why don't
you call the uluru
and find out if she's left yet.
Yes, sir.
( door buzzing) Dunsmore's
body should be arriving about now.
You know...
in a funny way, I owe him.
Why, if he'd
spent that weekend with
Jen instead of his mates...
(chuckles) she and I
would never have met.
Dunsmore would still be alive,
and you wouldn't have deserted.
Or would you?
Is that important to my defense?
It's important to your
defense attorney.
You lost someone in Vietnam.
Your father?
Oh, I'm sorry.
You must really despise me.
I don't despise you.
I just don't have a great
deal of respect for you.
But you will defend me, sir?
On the murder charge,
not on the desertion.
But you said I'd get an
administrative separation
and be set free.
Lieutenant Roberts said that.
I didn't.
But, unfortunately,
he's correct.
Unfortunately? What
do you want me to say?
My father died doing his duty.
You lived running from yours.
If that's the way you feel,
how can I trust that you
won't let them hang me?
Because, like my
father, I do my duty.
( door buzzing)
I got ahold of uluru.
The guy who answered said
that Jenny was too busy working
to come to the phone.
Did he tell her who was calling?
Yeah. I heard him.
She said, "Hang up," and he did.
That's my Jen...
Business before anything.
Even your life?
MacKENZIE: I can't
believe this is February.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
It is gorgeous!
I mean, the air is so clean,
and the water's so blue.
A few sharks down there, though.
What? In the harbor?
Yeah. Not the
man-eaters, though.
The sharks you got to
worry about wear Speedos.
You're pretty quiet, Bud.
You all right?
Yes, sir.
The colonel left a
message for me at the B.Q.
She invited me
to dinner tonight.
Really?
Harriet asked her
so that I wouldn't be lonely.
That means
Harriet's forgiven you.
I don't think so, sir.
The colonel left Washington
before I made that
stupid phone call.
So Mac doesn't know?
No, sir, and I'd appreciate it
if you didn't say anything.
You need to call Harriet, Bud.
I was kind of waiting
until after the admiral
smoothed things over, sir.
Call your wife, Lieutenant.
That's an order.
They're 16 hours behind us, sir.
It's, uh... it's almost
midnight there.
I can wake up baby A.J.
You chicken.
( boat horn blaring)
Yes, sir.
MAN OVER P.A.: Circular quay
ferry now arriving at Manly Beach.
Circular quay ferry now
arriving at Manly Beach.
It's been so long
since I've had time off,
I'm afraid I've forgotten
how to have fun.
Well, I'm not worried.
I'll fix that. ( chuckling)
ROBERTS: Well, would you like
to join us tonight, Commander?
No, thanks, Bud.
I got to bone up
on my Australian rules
of criminal procedure.
Shouldn't I go with you, sir?
No, you go to dinner with Mac.
Better you than Brumby.
MacKENZIE: Oh,
the sand feels great.
It's so warm between my toes.
Nicest beaches in the world.
Beats the hell out of being
stuck in D.C., doesn't it?
( gasps)
Oh, God, it's beautiful.
I knew you'd love it.
What's not to love?
Very nice.
Your bikini, that is.
Yeah, I knew that's
what you meant.
Yeah, but you're
in Australia, Mac.
Wear an Aussie bikini.
I'm afraid to ask.
Oh, no worry, it's
just a two-piece:
a hat and a bottom.
Jenny, I'm Lieutenant
Commander Rabb.
This is Lieutenant Roberts.
We're your husband's attorneys.
I know who you are.
Two dozen rock
oysters, one barramundi
and a blue swimmer crab salad.
You didn't show up
at the conference.
Like I could leave here, eh?
Where are the
prawns for table eight?
Coming up.
Don't you care if your
husband's convicted of murder?
Why don't you just
put it on the telly?
If that's what it takes
to get you to talk to us.
Prawns are for table eight.
Let's walk.
What's going on?
MacKENZIE: Mic,
I'm a Marine colonel.
I have to maintain a
certain level of decorum.
You're not a Marine
colonel out here, Mac.
You're the most beautiful
woman on the beach.
Uh... why don't you
just tie it behind my back
so I don't get strap marks?
Aw, come on, Mac.
When in Rome...
Did you talk to the
prosecutor, Jenny?
An Australian Commander
named Brumby?
I did.
What did you tell him?
What I could remember.
That's all we want
to hear, Mrs. Lee.
I'm not Mrs. Lee.
That's some woman
back in the States.
You didn't know?
You think I'd have
married Kevin if I'd known?
No, ma'am, I can
see that you wouldn't.
28 years...
and he never once told me
that he had a wife and a kid.
Jenny, what happened
that night on the ferry dock?
I knew that Ian and his mates
weren't going to give it up,
so I asked Kevin to leave.
We ran for the ferry,
but it pulled out before
we could get on board.
While we were waiting
on the dock, Ian found us.
They had words, and
then Ian pulled out a knife.
Was there anybody
else on the dock?
No. The ferry
had just pulled out.
There wasn't another
one for half an hour.
So they fought.
Like a couple of dingoes.
Kevin grabbed
Ian around the neck
and spun him round
and held off the other
hand with the knife.
They struggled
like this for a bit
and then Ian
tripped over a cleat
and fell on his knife.
What did you do?
Bloody screamed is what I did!
I guess no one heard
because the noise from
the park was so loud.
Did Seaman
Dunsmore die instantly?
What do you think?
He had a knife
through his heart!
Jenny, you've just told us
exactly what Kevin told us.
That's what you
wanted to hear, wasn't it?
No, I want to hear
your recollection
of what happened
that night, not Kevin's.
You don't want to know
what I remember, Commander.
What I remember will hang him.
Sir, is that Colonel
MacKenzie topless?
( overlapping conversations)
( eerie laughter)
Did you love it?
It was okay.
Okay?!
I almost wet my panties.
From the ride or from
the way my hand was...?
You're horrible, Kevin!
Am I, Jenny?
Yes, but I love it.
MAN: Oy, that's my bird
you're kissing there, yank.
Don't go starting trouble, Ian.
Looks like you did
the starting, Jen.
What are you? An old boyfriend?
No, no, I'm her
bloody fiancé, mate.
You got to have a
ring to be engaged, Ian!
So that's all you care
about now... getting a ring?
One thing I don't
care about is you.
Guess that says it all.
Let's kick this sepo's ass.
Is that how you Aussies do it?
Three onto one?
I don't need my
mates to send you
to the scab picker.
Bring it on.
SAILOR: Hey, wait up, mate!
I'll be seeing you, yank.
Make it soon.
My ship leaves port in two days.
It's the USS Chicago.
Come on, mate, let's go.
Come on, let's go to my place.
Mm, that turned you on.
Mm, you turn me on.
Mmm...
Let it go, mate.
A slag like
Jenny's not worth it.
It ain't her.
It's the sepo he
wants a piece of.
Go get him, mate.
We'll keep the S.P.S busy.
( overlapping chatter)
( boat horn blaring)
( panting)
( water splashing)
Hey! A shark!
And a body!
( theme song plays)
REPORTER: Well, it's the third
week of record-breaking lows
and a new front today
will be bringing six
more inches of snow.
Meteorologists are warning that
there may be another 24 hours
before this system loses team.
ROBERTS: Even with the change,
I couldn't get out of the way.
And I saw the 18-wheeler
and little A.J.'s life
flash before my eyes.
You had the baby with you?
No, ma'am, but as
soon as I realized that
I might end up as roadkill,
all I could think about
was little A.J.
growing up without me.
I see him going
off to kindergarten,
playing high school football,
graduating from Annapolis...
Bud, sometimes...
you're... very...
( sneezes)
Gesundheit. Strange.
Thank you. You know...
I'm just not going to get through
this winter without pneumonia.
RABB: It's the convertible.
I caught colds every
winter when I had my 'Vette.
Now I four-wheel
through the snow,
sip my morning coffee,
listen to Jimmy Lafave.
Very...
( sneezes)
Gesundheit.
Funny. Thank you.
Sirs, ma'am, the
admiral would like
to see you in his
office, ASAP. If I may?
What's up, Gunny?
Don't know, sir.
But Commander Brumby called
him from Australia this morning.
Brumby?
Yes, ma'am.
That man's like a boomerang.
Oh, thanks. Colonel.
Oh, thanks, Gunny.
Anytime, ma'am.
During the Vietnam War,
the USS Chicago made
a port call in Sydney.
One of her sailors was murdered.
Apparently, the Aussies
have apprehended the suspect
a seaman who's been U.A.
from the Royal Australian Navy
for the last 28 years.
Not long enough.
There's no statute of
limitations on murder.
Commander Brumby
has requested our assistance.
RABB: Forensics, sir?
No. Evidently,
the suspect refuses
to talk until he's spoken
to a U.S. Navy JAG officer.
So says Commander Brumby.
You have reason to
doubt him, Colonel?
Sir, he's been trying
to get me to Australia
since the day he left.
He even offered to buy me a
business-class seat on Quantas.
Wow.
Probably an
upgrade with mileage.
MacKENZIE: He e-mails me
Sydney's air and
water temps daily.
That's right.
It's summer Down Under.
He even sends me
postcards of the beaches.
As I recall, they're topless.
Wow.
Uh, sir.
But I never, never thought that
he would pull a stunt like this.
Um, he didn't.
He should be...
He didn't, sir?
No, Mac. Um...
he requested Commander Rabb
and Lieutenant Roberts.
Oh, uh, Bud, when you're
making flight arrangements
with Commander Brumby,
make sure that he knows
we're expecting favored nations.
Business class on Quantas, sir?
Uh-huh. Oh, Mac,
what hotel was Mic
going to put you up at?
Not another word.
Come on, Mac, you left
yourself wide open in there.
Yeah, I know, and now
you've all had your laugh,
so drop it!
( sneezes)
Gesundheit.
Gesundheit. Gesundheit.
(door slamming)
She's pretty upset, sir.
Of course, it was
pretty embarrassing.
Oh, I don't think
that's it, Bud.
I think that Mac is upset
that Mic didn't ask for her.
Why didn't he ask for her, sir?
Because he's one smart dingo.
WOMAN OVER PA: Quantas
Flight 281 has arrived at Gate 37.
WOMAN OVER PA: Quantas
Flight 281 has arrived at Gate 37.
RABB: Some people never change.
My thought exactly, Commander.
Welcome to Oz.
Hello, sir. Good to see you.
You, too, mate. How's
Harriet and the baby?
Oh, terrific.
I've got pictures.
I thought you might.
Let me see, mate.
Oh, look at that.
There's his six-month birthday.
Do those biannually, do you?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
His first sled ride.
His first haircut,
and look at this, look
at this... his first step.
Quite a collection of firsts.
I know. I'm a little
overenthusiastic,
but little baby
A.J. is my first.
I hope you're working on
not making him your last.
Oh, yes, sir.
I guess you could say that.
Sorry about the dirt, mate.
I was in the outback. I'll give
her a washup on the weekend.
We going on a safari, Commander?
Down here, we
call it going bush.
I do it on the weekends.
Roo-bar on the front,
snorkel for crossing streams.
I've got a radio...
To call for help
when you get lost?
Hmm, hmm.
Care to give her
a try, Commander?
Yeah. Oh, we drive on the left.
Might be a bit much for you,
especially after
the long flight.
I slept most of the way.
The wheel's on
the other side, mate.
I know that.
I'm opening the door for you.
(sighs)
Better fasten
your seat belt, Bud.
Driving on the left side
takes a bit of getting used to.
BRUMBY: So, after Petty
Officer Kevin Lee was murdered,
Seaman Dunsmore went U.A.
and hid out with Jenny
Brooker in Woolgoolga.
Wool-what?
Woolgoolga.
It's an aboriginal name
for a banana-bender
town on the coast.
What's a banana bender, sir?
They grow bananas, Bud,
and that's what
he and Jenny did.
He eventually married her,
using the name Tom Kingsly.
How did he get caught
after 28 years, anyway?
He got unlucky.
About ten years ago, he and
Jenny moved back to Sydney,
opened a restaurant in Manly.
He'd still be there dishing
out prawns if his home
hadn't got burgled and
the burglar got caught.
Uh... sir!
( tires squealing, horn honking)
See, the detective investigating
the robbery was a constable
on the Lee murder
investigation 28 years ago.
And among the items recovered
was a watch with the USS Chicago
engraved on the back
and Seaman Dunsmore's dog tags.
Kingsly's alias didn't
hold up under scrutiny,
and when the detective
found out Jenny's maiden name
was Brooker, he
arrested Tom Kingsly,
or rather Ian Dunsmore, and
remanded into our custody.
Take a right at the circle.
Down here we go around
the circle to the left, mate.
You said take a right.
After going around
the circle to the left.
Begging your pardon, sir,
but in Australia, we drive on
the left-hand side of the road.
Why didn't you tell me?
I.D., please?
Thank you, sir.
Thanks, leader.
BRUMBY: Left, Harm, left.
That's my spot up ahead
between those two cars, mate.
Better let me park it.
I think that would
probably be a good idea, sir.
I'll give it a try.
My step-father had a
cottage in the Bahamas.
That's where I learned to drive.
Sir...
Don't they drive
on the left-hand side
of the road in the Bahamas?
Bloody hell!
Seaman Dunsmore,
this is Commander Rabb
and Lieutenant Roberts
of the United States
Navy JAG Corps.
They've flown 10,000 miles
to hear what you have to say.
I hope it's important.
It is, sir.
Thanks for coming, Commander.
You're welcome. Now,
uh... why am I here?
I'll need an American Naval
JAG to protect my rights
once I prove that I didn't
murder Petty Officer Kevin Lee.
But you are not in the American
Navy, Seaman Dunsmore.
Yes, I am, sir.
I'm not Seaman Ian Dunsmore.
( American accent): I'm
Petty Officer Kevin Lee.
BRUMBY: You're claiming the
body found floating in the harbor
that morning was
Seaman Dunsmore?
Yes, sir.
I switched uniforms
and dog tags with him.
After you murdered him.
I didn't murder him!
It was an accident!
Why didn't somebody
from his ship identify the body?
Harbor sharks had a feed on him.
There are sharks in the harbor?!
It's Australia, mate.
There's sharks in the bathtub.
You said it was an
accident. What happened?
After the run-in with
Ian and his mates,
Jen and I decided to leave
the park to avoid more trouble.
We ran for the ferry.
It pulled out just as
we got to the dock.
I've lain awake many a night,
wishing we'd got there
just a minute sooner.
( boat horn blaring)
( panting)
Ian, don't be such an ocker!
Yeah, well, what do you expect
when you take up
with a sepo, eh?
You want to slug it out?
I'm all for it, but
stow the knife.
Oh, I'll stow it...
in your gut, you sepo bastard!
No, Ian! Stop!
( people screaming)
No!
( screaming)
No! Stop!
Ian, stop!
( eerie laughter)
No!
It was an accident.
He tripped over a cleat
and fell on his knife.
If it was an accident,
why didn't you
wait for the police?
I did... for a while.
Then I realized that Ian
and I looked a bit alike
and that swapping identities
would be a way to start over.
Why the need to start over?
When I was 18,
I was forced to marry a girl
because she was pregnant.
You had a wife and baby?
I didn't love her.
I wasn't even sure
the baby was mine.
I joined the Navy to
get away from them.
You abandoned them!
They got my military insurance.
Your child grew
up without a father!
Bud, take it easy.
Running away
makes you look guilty.
Jen can testify.
She'll tell you it
was an accident.
The corroborating testimony
of a wife is next to useless.
Especially one who
ran off with a murderer.
I didn't murder him!
I don't believe you.
All that matters is
what a jury believes.
Then you'll help me, Commander?
Look, until we verify
you're U.S. Navy
there's nothing we can do.
( knock at door)
I'd like to see my wife.
Which one, mate?
I'm sure Commander
Brumby will arrange the visit.
Commander Rabb...
whatever happens...
years with Jen were worth it.
Commanders, I never
appreciated how good you were
at playing good cop/bad cop.
Who's playing? Who's playing?
Why is it so damn cold in here?
I can barely sign my name.
Furnace conked out again, sir.
Well, get the damn thing fixed!
GUNNY: Maintenance
is on it, Admiral.
But it's older than I am
and it needs to be replaced.
Not in this year's
budget, Gunny.
Tiner and I better start
chopping some
firewood, then, ma'am.
What is it, Gunny?
The FBI reports
on those fingerprints
Commander Rabb
e-mailed from Australia, sir.
Hmm, I see the
deceased is alive.
Yes, sir.
I'm trying to locate his wife
to tell her the good
news/bad news.
"Your husband's
alive, but you've got
to repay the money
you got from Uncle Sam."
Sounds like bad news/bad news.
Yes, ma'am, it does.
We'll have to ship the body
buried here back to Australia.
I prepared the necessary
papers for your signature, sir.
Where's he interred, Gunny?
Nashville, Tennessee, ma'am.
I assume you'll want
an NCO to escort
the body home, sir?
Absolutely.
You just signed
off on my cases, sir,
and I have some leave coming,
so I could escort
the body to Sydney.
Protocol only requires
an NCO, ma'am.
Yeah, but considering
the circumstances,
having an officer
escort the remains
is the least we could do.
Hell, I'd like to get
out of this damn cold.
Take a week.
I can't spare you and
Commander Rabb
longer than that.
Dismissed.
Aye, sir. Thank you. sir.
God, I'd like to be in Australia
to watch this one unfold.
It sounds like a
slam-dunk conviction, sir.
Hell, I'm not talking
about the trial.
( chuckling)
( chirping)
ROBERTS: Wow!
It's like an R-rated
Baywatch out there!
Remember, you're a
married man, Lieutenant.
Some men don't
need reminding, Mic.
Righto. The dead ones.
You boys ready?
Yeah. Um...
Oh, wow, you're
going to make a killing.
Pardon me?
A yank, dress
whites, gold wings...
You're going to
have the girls buzzing.
What about me, love?
Sorry, no gold wings.
Yeah, but I've got
a 'roo in my pocket.
( both laughing)
A round of beers and a
plate of prawns, please.
I'll have an iced tea.
You're in Australia, Harm.
A beer at lunch is
okay in our navy.
I'm not in your navy, Mic.
I'll have an iced
tea, too, please.
A beer for skippy, two
iced teas for the yanks
and prawns for three.
Nice pins for an old girl.
Let's talk about
Petty Officer Lee.
Nothing to talk about
until his identity's confirmed.
I don't think he's lying
about who he is, sir.
What would be the point?
I don't know, but the
bugger's as wily as a dingo.
I'd bet my bars he murdered
Dunsmore and calling
you here is part of his plan
to wiggle his way out of it.
Did you feel that way when
you thought he was Dunsmore?
( phone rings)
Commander Rabb.
Gunnery Sergeant Galindez, sir.
Gunny. Hey, how's Washington?
Doing a terrific imitation
of Antarctica, sir.
How's the weather Down Under?
You really want to know?
Ha! That good, sir?
Better.
Did you get the fingerprints?
Yes, sir. They
belong to Petty Officer
Kevin Lee, U.S. Navy.
Fingerprints confirm
he's Petty Officer Lee.
The admiral's going
to need to authorize
the return of the
body to Australia.
It's already done, sir.
Colonel MacKenzie's escorting
the remains in the morning.
Mac is?
Yes, sir. She volunteered.
Ask him if Bud's there with him.
Uh, yes, sir. If Lieutenant
Roberts is there,
his wife would like
a word with him, sir.
Mac is what, Harm?
Oh, Gunny,
it is wild down here!
I haven't seen so
many naked breasts
since... since...
Since when, Bud?!
Harriet?!
You didn't tell me
Harriet was on the phone!
Well, I didn't know
you were going to
talk about breasts.
I'm sorry.
She's escorting Gunsmore
body back, isn't she?
I'm sure it was
the admiral's idea.
Must have been.
Harriet's gone.
Probably looking
for a divorce attorney.
Don't be silly.
Harm's right, Bud.
She'd never do that.
Lieutenant Singer
would jump at the chance
to take the case, though.
I'm only kidding, Bud.
Sir, when are we flying home?
As soon as Commander
Brumby releases Petty Officer Lee
into our custody.
Not going to happen, mate.
Why not? I'm sure
the usual port of call
agreement was in effect
at the time Chicago
docked in '72.
That gives us jurisdiction.
This isn't some drunken
sailor busting up a pub.
He's one of ours, Mic.
He may be one of yours,
but he murdered one of
ours and he did it here.
So, he'll damn
well be tried here.
I think you scared
her off, Commander.
I think she realized
who we were.
You said that Kevin and
Jenny had a restaurant in Manly.
This wouldn't be it, would it?
Could be, mate.
So, that was Jenny.
Give the man a meat pie.
Admiral, Kevin Lee is an
American Navy Petty Officer
and as such, I feel he
should be returned to the U.S.
to stand court-martial.
For what, desertion?
No, sir...
Well, yes, sir, eventually.
Obviously, the murder
charges need to be investigated
and prosecuted if substantiated.
Commander, the murder
happened in Australia.
Any witnesses, even
if they can be found
are probably in Australia.
The police investigators,
case reports are in Australia.
Now with those givens,
why would we want to
initiate a jurisdiction dispute
to bring all those people and
documents back to the States
for an investigation and trial?
In the interest
of fairness, sir.
Are you doubting the integrity
of the Australian legal system?
Not at all, sir.
Admiral, I'm only
thinking of precedent.
We have always tried
to maintain jurisdiction
over Naval personnel
accused of crimes on port calls.
Commander, the man
deserted 28 years ago.
I don't think this
case will impact
on jurisdiction in the future.
Yes, sir.
This is because of your dislike
for Commander Brumby, isn't it?
This case will be tried in
an Australian civil court, sir.
Commander Brumby
wouldn't be involved.
Harm, let the
Australians handle it.
I'm sure justice will be done.
Yes, sir.
Good.
Admiral...
one more thing, sir.
Not realizing his wife
was on the phone,
Lieutenant Roberts made
an unfortunate comment
to the gunny.
What did he say?
A slightly libertine one, sir,
involving topless
females on a beach here.
He didn't.
I'm afraid he did, sir.
So he wants me to
refloat his sunk dinghy.
Well, anything
you could do, sir,
I'm sure would be
greatly appreciated.
I'll see what I can salvage.
Thank you, sir.
He's going to talk to Harriet.
Thank you, sir.
Well?
We're accepting
Australian jurisdiction.
The admiral
overruled you, did he?
I want to speak to Petty
Officer Lee one more time.
He's on his way to Long
Bay Correctional Complex
to await trial, but I can
arrange for you to see him.
You transferred him before
we agreed on jurisdiction.
I never had any doubt
who had jurisdiction.
You did.
When are you flying home?
When I'm satisfied
that Petty Officer Lee
is properly represented.
You afraid of me being alone
down here with Mac, Harm?
You know, Brumby,
one of these days
you and I are going
to strip blouses.
Always assumed we would, mate.
Question's only been when.
GALINDEZ: It's just
a guy thing, ma'am.
It doesn't mean anything.
It means my husband's a lech.
No, it doesn't.
It just means that, you know
guys need to
share... information.
Why does Bud feel the
need to share with you
how many bare-breasted
women he's seen?
Lieutenant, did you ever hear the
story about the guy who was stranded
on a deserted island
with Julia Roberts?
Julia Roberts was
stranded on an island?
No, she wasn't, ma'am.
It's a joke.
It's not funny, Gunny.
I haven't finished
telling it, Lieutenant.
So anyway this guy...
this average Joe is
stuck on this island
with Julia Roberts, and...
eventually, one
thing leads to another
if you know what I mean, ma'am.
They sleep together.
Exactly... and you'd think
it makes him
happy, but it doesn't.
He gets so frustrated
that he has to ask Julia Roberts
to put on his clothes,
draw a mustache on her upper lip
and pretend she's
a guy named Fred.
So he's a pervert?
No, ma'am. He just
needed another guy to tell
he was sleeping
with Julia Roberts.
Gunny, are you trying to tell me
that my husband is sleeping with
bare-breasted
Australian hussies?
No, ma'am. No, ma'am.
Lieutenant Sims.
Yes, sir?
Come with me.
Yes, sir.
Gunny... Yes, sir.
Don't ever get into
family counseling.
Aye, aye, sir.
Harriet...
Does Bud love you?
I'm not sure, sir.
Lieutenant Sims, does
your husband love you?
Yes, sir.
Good.
Dismissed.
Aye, sir.
ROBERTS: You're
not really going to fight
Commander Brumby, are you?
Why, you don't
think I can take him?
I'm sure you'll put
up a good fight, sir.
But you're not betting on me.
Well, sir, he's a
professional boxer.
Which is why
you can't fight him,
because his fists
are lethal weapons.
I promise not to sue.
You must really hate him, sir.
I don't hate him.
He just bugs me. He always has.
I don't know if
it's that smug grin
or that Crocodile Dundee
accent or the way he...
Chases after Colonel
MacKenzie, sir?
Et tu, brute?
Sir, with all due respect,
I think there's some validity to
what Commander Brumby said.
Look, Mac has
either been a partner
or a worthy adversary
for the past four years.
I just don't want to see her make
another bad choice with a man.
Well, are you certain that Commander
Brumby is a bad choice, sir?
What, you don't think so?
Sir! Is that Clayton Webb?
Hey, Mr. Webb!
( speaking French)
( man speaking French)
I guess it isn't him.
Either that, or he's on a mission
and he couldn't acknowledge us.
What kind of mission would
he be on in Australia, sir?
Well, by the looks of that
woman... mission impossible!
MAN: Cell block six, section
B, your time privileges are now...
RABB: Sorry, Petty Officer Lee,
but my request for JAG
jurisdiction was denied.
I don't care who tries to
hang me, Commander.
Or maybe I do.
You'd not only
court-martial me for murder
but tag on desertion.
Well, after all these years,
unless they're wanted
for some offense
deserters from
the Vietnam conflict
are just given an
administrative separation.
Is that true, sir?
Usually.
But I think that desertion
is the least of your worries.
We saw your wife today.
( chuckles)
How was she?
She seemed in good spirits.
Of course she's in good spirits.
She knows I didn't murder Ian.
She told you that, didn't she?
I didn't talk to her.
Why not, sir?
I didn't know that I
was in your restaurant.
I didn't know she was your wife
until she overheard
us discussing the case
and then she ran off.
Jen ran off?
As fast as she could.
Well, she's sensitive.
Probably upset hearing about it.
Look, if she's that sensitive
how's she going to handle
being on the witness stand?
Well, you said the jury
wouldn't believe her, sir.
No, they probably won't,
but she's the only person
who can corroborate your story.
The irony is, if
she was testifying
against you, they'd
probably believe her.
That's why a wife can't
testify against a husband.
You'll calm her down, Commander.
I can't defend you
in an Australian court.
Can't you get me a
dispensation or something?
Look, even if I could,
why would you want
me to represent you?
( sighs)
No matter how many
years I've lived here,
in that courtroom,
I'll still be a yank
who murdered an
Aussie to get his girl.
You saw how Commander
Brumby went after me.
You think a local defense lawyer
will put up a fight against him?
Commander Brumby
won't be prosecuting you.
He said he was.
He's the yank?
Yes, sir, that's him.
Captain Howell, Commander
Rabb and Lieutenant Roberts
of the United States Navy's
Judge Advocate General Corps.
Welcome to Australia, gentlemen.
Thank you, sir.
It's a pleasure to be here.
You don't look it.
Sir?
You look like the beer
boatswain cut your ration.
If you've got a problem,
Commander, let's hear it.
Captain, are you
familiar with the case
of Petty Officer Kevin Lee?
Enough to know that you disagree
with the decision to allow us
to prosecute him.
Sir, my disagreement ended
the moment Admiral Chegwidden
made that decision, though, sir,
I do think the admiral
would be chagrined
to discover Commander
Brumby is prosecuting.
Our Supreme Court decided
it was the only fair thing to do.
Fair, sir?
When Admiral Chegwidden
relinquished jurisdiction,
he requested you be permitted
to act as defending counsel.
The Supreme Court agreed.
That's fair, don't you think?
Yes, sir.
So, it's me against you.
That's right, mate.
You and me.
Excuse me, Commander.
Yes, sir?
Ian's mum tells
me that you're going
to prosecute the sepo
that murdered Ian.
That's correct,
Mister...? Oh, uh...
Chief Barry Toohey, retired.
I got a pub down in Bellemaine.
Ian and I were
shipmates on the Swan.
He was a good mate, sir.
I knew he didn't desert.
Do you know anything
about the night he was murdered?
I was there.
At Luna Park? Yes, sir.
I know enough to
hang that sepo bastard!
Thank you, Colonel.
Will you be needing
transportation, ma'am?
MacKENZIE: Not necessary.
Thank you.
Squad, turn!
Forward
march!
Left wheel!
Welcome to Australia, Colonel.
( sneezes)
Oh.
Thanks. I ran out of tissues.
No worries. We'll bake
that cold out of you.
Oh, it's so nice and warm here.
Look, I'm off duty.
What do you say to
a day at the beach?
Oh, that sounds great.
You know, I... I
expected Harm and Bud
to meet me here.
They're meeting
with their defendant.
Harm is defending
Petty Officer Lee?
Won't do him any good, though.
I'm prosecuting.
Oh, Mic.
RABB: Your wife should have
been here half an hour ago.
Saturday... it's a shark-feeding
frenzy at the restaurant.
And, with me here,
Jen's shorthanded.
She did agree to meet us?
Of course she did.
I calmed her down.
I told her everything
would be fine
as long as she told the truth.
Bud, why don't
you call the uluru
and find out if she's left yet.
Yes, sir.
( door buzzing) Dunsmore's
body should be arriving about now.
You know...
in a funny way, I owe him.
Why, if he'd
spent that weekend with
Jen instead of his mates...
(chuckles) she and I
would never have met.
Dunsmore would still be alive,
and you wouldn't have deserted.
Or would you?
Is that important to my defense?
It's important to your
defense attorney.
You lost someone in Vietnam.
Your father?
Oh, I'm sorry.
You must really despise me.
I don't despise you.
I just don't have a great
deal of respect for you.
But you will defend me, sir?
On the murder charge,
not on the desertion.
But you said I'd get an
administrative separation
and be set free.
Lieutenant Roberts said that.
I didn't.
But, unfortunately,
he's correct.
Unfortunately? What
do you want me to say?
My father died doing his duty.
You lived running from yours.
If that's the way you feel,
how can I trust that you
won't let them hang me?
Because, like my
father, I do my duty.
( door buzzing)
I got ahold of uluru.
The guy who answered said
that Jenny was too busy working
to come to the phone.
Did he tell her who was calling?
Yeah. I heard him.
She said, "Hang up," and he did.
That's my Jen...
Business before anything.
Even your life?
MacKENZIE: I can't
believe this is February.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
It is gorgeous!
I mean, the air is so clean,
and the water's so blue.
A few sharks down there, though.
What? In the harbor?
Yeah. Not the
man-eaters, though.
The sharks you got to
worry about wear Speedos.
You're pretty quiet, Bud.
You all right?
Yes, sir.
The colonel left a
message for me at the B.Q.
She invited me
to dinner tonight.
Really?
Harriet asked her
so that I wouldn't be lonely.
That means
Harriet's forgiven you.
I don't think so, sir.
The colonel left Washington
before I made that
stupid phone call.
So Mac doesn't know?
No, sir, and I'd appreciate it
if you didn't say anything.
You need to call Harriet, Bud.
I was kind of waiting
until after the admiral
smoothed things over, sir.
Call your wife, Lieutenant.
That's an order.
They're 16 hours behind us, sir.
It's, uh... it's almost
midnight there.
I can wake up baby A.J.
You chicken.
( boat horn blaring)
Yes, sir.
MAN OVER P.A.: Circular quay
ferry now arriving at Manly Beach.
Circular quay ferry now
arriving at Manly Beach.
It's been so long
since I've had time off,
I'm afraid I've forgotten
how to have fun.
Well, I'm not worried.
I'll fix that. ( chuckling)
ROBERTS: Well, would you like
to join us tonight, Commander?
No, thanks, Bud.
I got to bone up
on my Australian rules
of criminal procedure.
Shouldn't I go with you, sir?
No, you go to dinner with Mac.
Better you than Brumby.
MacKENZIE: Oh,
the sand feels great.
It's so warm between my toes.
Nicest beaches in the world.
Beats the hell out of being
stuck in D.C., doesn't it?
( gasps)
Oh, God, it's beautiful.
I knew you'd love it.
What's not to love?
Very nice.
Your bikini, that is.
Yeah, I knew that's
what you meant.
Yeah, but you're
in Australia, Mac.
Wear an Aussie bikini.
I'm afraid to ask.
Oh, no worry, it's
just a two-piece:
a hat and a bottom.
Jenny, I'm Lieutenant
Commander Rabb.
This is Lieutenant Roberts.
We're your husband's attorneys.
I know who you are.
Two dozen rock
oysters, one barramundi
and a blue swimmer crab salad.
You didn't show up
at the conference.
Like I could leave here, eh?
Where are the
prawns for table eight?
Coming up.
Don't you care if your
husband's convicted of murder?
Why don't you just
put it on the telly?
If that's what it takes
to get you to talk to us.
Prawns are for table eight.
Let's walk.
What's going on?
MacKENZIE: Mic,
I'm a Marine colonel.
I have to maintain a
certain level of decorum.
You're not a Marine
colonel out here, Mac.
You're the most beautiful
woman on the beach.
Uh... why don't you
just tie it behind my back
so I don't get strap marks?
Aw, come on, Mac.
When in Rome...
Did you talk to the
prosecutor, Jenny?
An Australian Commander
named Brumby?
I did.
What did you tell him?
What I could remember.
That's all we want
to hear, Mrs. Lee.
I'm not Mrs. Lee.
That's some woman
back in the States.
You didn't know?
You think I'd have
married Kevin if I'd known?
No, ma'am, I can
see that you wouldn't.
28 years...
and he never once told me
that he had a wife and a kid.
Jenny, what happened
that night on the ferry dock?
I knew that Ian and his mates
weren't going to give it up,
so I asked Kevin to leave.
We ran for the ferry,
but it pulled out before
we could get on board.
While we were waiting
on the dock, Ian found us.
They had words, and
then Ian pulled out a knife.
Was there anybody
else on the dock?
No. The ferry
had just pulled out.
There wasn't another
one for half an hour.
So they fought.
Like a couple of dingoes.
Kevin grabbed
Ian around the neck
and spun him round
and held off the other
hand with the knife.
They struggled
like this for a bit
and then Ian
tripped over a cleat
and fell on his knife.
What did you do?
Bloody screamed is what I did!
I guess no one heard
because the noise from
the park was so loud.
Did Seaman
Dunsmore die instantly?
What do you think?
He had a knife
through his heart!
Jenny, you've just told us
exactly what Kevin told us.
That's what you
wanted to hear, wasn't it?
No, I want to hear
your recollection
of what happened
that night, not Kevin's.
You don't want to know
what I remember, Commander.
What I remember will hang him.
Sir, is that Colonel
MacKenzie topless?