JAG (1995–2005): Season 5, Episode 11 - Ghosts of Christmas Past - full transcript
Harm makes another annual Christmas Eve visit to the Vietnam Veterans' Memorial ("The Wall") in honor and recognition of his father. There he meets another visitor, a retired fictional singer, Jenny Lake, who briefly knew Harm Sr. aboard his carrier just before he crashed and became captured in North Vietnam. Jenny tells Harm about her time as a member of a USO group, with Bob Hope, Les Brown, Phyllis Diller, Diana Ross, and other performing artists who entertained the troops. During the ensuing flashbacks, Harm acts as Harm Sr., Mac acts as Jenny, and other JAG characters play various roles aboard the ship in 1969. Jenny offers Harm a gift, but they leave it at The Wall.
Merry Christmas, Dad.
Oh, excuse me.
I... didn't mean to disturb you.
I forgot to bring
something to light this with.
Oh.
Not a problem.
Who are you here to honor?
An aviator...
Lieutenant Harmon Rabb.
( theme song plays)
"Little Harm."
That's what your
father called you, isn't it?
Yes.
You look so much like him.
Uh, did you know him?
You must've been...
I was five.
Last time I saw him, he
took me to Mission Park.
We... carved our
initials in a roller coaster.
Do you ever go back there?
They tore it down.
How did you know him?
I met him on the
USS Ticonderoga.
I was in a U.S.O. Troupe
with Bob Hope
on his annual tour.
You're Jenny Lake.
I have your album
with Count Basie.
Oh, my jazz experiment.
That was a few years later.
I met your father
on December 23...
30 years ago yesterday.
1969.
That Christmas Eve...
He was shot down.
I know.
I was there.
( shouting): Next time, we
take separate helicopters!
It's not my fault
it was crowded.
The only spare inch for
your hand was on my chest?
MAN OVER P.A.: Catapult and arresting
gear crew assemble at boardroom B.
Catapult and arresting gear
crew assemble at boardroom B.
Oh, hello.
Hello, and welcome
to the USS Ticonderoga.
That must be the express.
Never mind the noise.
Hope is going to plotz
when he sees this water hazard.
We'll give him a mulligan.
I'm Ensign Kyle Everett
of the Public
Information Office.
I'll be your official
escort and liaison officer.
Harvey Bambini...
I'm the road manager
for this here traveling zoo.
This is Jerry Colonna,
Bob's not-so-straight man
and Les Brown.
I love your band.
(jet engine roaring)
Tough act to follow, huh?
Yeah.
Hey, whatever
happened to "ladies first"?
I'm Phyllis Diller, cutie pie.
This is Diana Ross.
This is Jenny Lake.
The Captain invites you
to join him on the bridge.
(jet engine roaring)
Ba-dah-boom.
Ba-dah-bing.
( chuckling)
Folks, I just got word
Mr. Hope's helo had
to turn back to Da Nang.
Unfortunately,
mechanical problems.
Are they all right?
Oh, they're fine,
but won't be able
to join us till tomorrow.
The show's today.
Not without Bob, it's not.
We can do it tomorrow.
There's room on the schedule.
That is, if the skipper
will be kind enough
to put us up for the night.
Well, now, women
generally aren't allowed
to overnight on
American warships.
You're not going to throw us
to the sharks, are you Captain?
That'd better than
sleeping with the band.
Speak for yourself, honey.
Well, I think we can
find accommodations
that are appropriate
for all of you.
Excuse me, Captain.
We got us a sick bird coming in.
Who is it?
Rabb.
Panther Tower,
this is Badman One,
five miles astern.
Roger, Badman One.
What's the nature
of your problem?
Flak damage
to the flight control system.
Ailerons are acting up.
Roger. You'll signal
Charlie on arrival.
You going to be
able to get us down?
RABB SR.: Just keep your eye
on the hydraulic pressure.
Roger that.
Tong, Hammer, you trap first.
What, don't you want witnesses,
or are you afraid you're
going to foul the deck?
Both.
Wilco.
See you by the Christmas tree.
Break.
Control, this is Badman Two.
We are first on approach.
Roger, Badman Two.
Call the Ball.
Roger, Ball, two point four.
I can't watch.
It's okay, honey. One's down.
RABB SR.: How's
that hydraulic pressure?
It's fluctuating between
zero and 1,500 PSI.
RABB SR.: Panther Tower,
2-0-1 Bears abeam.
300 knots.
Roger. Angel on the way.
This is Angel.
We have a visual.
Roll excursions.
Oh...
I'm losing it!
Eject! Eject!
Angel, plane in the water.
Just off the fantail.
Two good chutes.
Affirmative. We
have two good chutes.
Roger. Angel is there.
I didn't know you were going
to have a floor show, Skipper.
Well, it wasn't on the
schedule, trust me.
Are they all right?
CAPTAIN: Oh, they'll be fine
if they don't... shrink
when they get wet.
Ensign Everett will show you
to your quarters, ma'am.
EVERETT: Aye, sir.
Now, if you'll follow me.
Just watch out for
the knee-knockers.
Her fiancé was a Marine pilot.
Killed in action?
One week ago.
She shouldn't be here.
She's a trouper.
EVERETT: I sing a
little, too, Miss Lake,
but nothing like you.
Well, for one thing
your voice would be
a little deeper, wouldn't it?
( cackling)
Yes, ma'am.
Uh, here you are.
Somebody will be
bringing your bags.
Thank you, Ensign.
( laughing): Oh...
This place could
use some wallpaper.
Phyllis, I shouldn't have come.
I know it isn't easy, kid.
Watching that plane
go in the water...
it was like seeing David die.
Look, kid, we're
stuck here tonight.
But after tomorrow,
you can get back on
a plane to the States.
No...
No, it's only another week.
I... I can do it.
( chuckling)
Whoa...
Looks like Santa came early.
DILLER: Can we
help you gentlemen?
MAN: Yeah, you could,
uh, tell us what you're doing
in our stateroom.
This is Phyllis Diller
and this is Jenny Lake
from the Bob Hope U.S.O. Tour.
Bob's stuck in Da
Nang till tomorrow.
I guess the skipper
thought you wouldn't mind.
No. We can, uh,
hot-bunk someplace.
How about here?
( cackling)
Uh, we were just about
to grab some chow.
If you ladies
would like to join us.
Phyllis, go with them.
No, go. I'm fine, I promise.
Well, if she insists.
( cackling)
Hoot, I'll, uh,
catch up with you.
I just want to grab that
combat mission log.
You okay?
Go.
Gone.
Shy little thing, huh?
Yeah. It used to be her act.
Now, she's been
doing it so long...
She is her act.
You, I guess, are, uh...
a little newer to
show business, huh?
Hey, um, I'll just
get out of your way
so you can find
that mission log.
( roaring)
More planes going up.
It's the catapult.
How long does that go on?
Until they launch the squadron.
( roaring)
Um...
Is there someplace I can go
to get away from the noise?
Fantail... it's the
opposite end of the ship.
I can take you
there if you like.
Are you Rabb or Gibson?
Rabb.
Mort Reese. I need
a picture of the hero
they pulled out of the water.
That was you?
Look brave.
Uh, no, I don't know what
papers it's going to be in.
No, I can't give you a copy.
You ready?
( roaring)
No, I'm kind of
getting used to it now.
Hammer...
Oh, uh... sorry to interrupt.
CAG wants to see
you on the bridge.
See you later?
Sure.
( door closes)
RABB SR.: In a clearing,
sir, somewhere about here.
"Somewhere."
By morning, those
missiles are going
to be dispersed all
over the province.
We're sending in an
intruder strike tonight.
I can't pinpoint it
on this map, sir,
but I could find it again.
You're not qualified
on intruders, son.
You'd have to fly
the bombardier's seat.
A passenger?
Well, we could always
strap you to the bomb rack.
Uh, no, sir.
Second seat will be fine.
Then grab some chow.
You launch in an hour.
Aye, aye, sir.
I was mad at your father.
It made no sense.
My father was a pilot
who survived, ma'am.
Your pilot didn't.
He reminded of David, too.
Not that he looked like him.
All fighter jocks are kind
of alike, they say, ma'am.
Like you?
I was... but not anymore.
When my father got back,
did you see him again?
Oh, yes.
I saw him later that night.
( crowd laughing and applauding)
PHYLLIS DILLER: So,
Jerry, tell me the truth.
What's that thing
on your mouth...
A mustache or a caterpillar?
( laughter)
JERRY COLONNA: Why don't
you kiss me and we'll find out?
AUDIENCE: Whoo!
Well, I guess my
insurance is paid up.
( laughter)
( crowd whooping)
Something moved.
The earth?
No, your tongue. Blaah!
That wasn't my tongue.
Oh!
I don't think you want
to know what it was.
That's the stuff Bob
won't let them do.
So, I go to the doctor.
Said, "Doc, I got a pain
under my left breast."
Yeah, what did he say it was?
My trick knee.
Shouldn't be talking
this way around
all these sailors.
It's like being in the
middle of a big desert tray.
( laughter)
Watch out, fellas.
She likes to nibble
on a few appetizers
before she gets
to the main course.
( laughter)
( applause)
VOICE OVER P.A.: Now
hear this. Now hear this.
Munitions loading
about to commence.
The smoking lamp is
out throughout the ship.
The smoking lamp is
out throughout the ship.
DILLER: I've got underwear
older than most of them.
COLONNA: I'm warning
you guys, she's been...
You're going to
have to put this out.
Mind if I sit down?
Yeah, wherever you want.
I was just leaving.
Hey, if it's on my account,
I can eat in my quarters,
or should I say your quarters?
Kind of a confusing night, huh?
Look, Lieutenant...
Harm.
You seem like a nice guy.
I'd like to be alone
with my thoughts.
Probably shouldn't be on an
aircraft carrier, then, ma'am.
No, I probably shouldn't.
DILLER: When we were flying in,
I couldn't believe how
small this deck looked.
The only safe way to get
down is to get shot down.
( laughter)
You almost got killed today.
Wasn't as close at it looked.
Doesn't it bother you?
Not half as much as this chow.
You almost got killed
an-and you crack jokes?
What would you suggest I do?
Rabb?
Joe Garcia.
I hear you're looking
for a ride downtown.
You my chauffeur?
Yeah, if you know
how to work the knobs
in the passenger seat.
I've been studying up on
my handy pocket checklist.
You didn't eat much.
Nervous?
I figured you'd be
serving a box lunch.
I'll see you when I get back.
If you get back.
She's with the comedy troupe.
Mm.
( sighs)
Jenny, what the
hell are you doing?
Having the time of my life, Les.
Can't you tell?
We're supposed to be
cheering these men up.
Well, how about
getting them out of here
so they don't get killed.
Wouldn't that cheer them up?
Hey, you're out of line.
Then send me home.
Hey, Harm.
Tong.
I'll see you in the ready room.
Listen, uh...
are you taking a
run at that singer?
She looks like
she's hurting, Tong.
Well, you might
send her to sick bay.
Last I heard, Dr. Hammer
was a happily married man.
He still is.
This girl just
needs a big brother.
Okay. What does
big brother need?
A little sister.
Don't worry about it.
HARM SR.: It
must get kind of dull
flying these turkeys every day.
Well, we do kill a SAM
every now and then
mostly by accident.
Hope you don't get bored.
I brought a book.
Then mark your place.
This is Sunday
Puncher One taking
the pause that refreshes.
Yeee-hah!
Whoo!
How's your book?
Boring.
Good. 'cause
we're going feet dry.
( playing up-tempo music)
Whoo!
All right!
DILLER: Whoa. Here we go.
( cackling)
Well, it's not the Supremes,
but it does make you
want to dance, doesn't it?
Why is that, Captain?
Well, I believe you
said it yourself, Diana...
if I may call you that.
"Love is like an
itching in my heart."
Hmm. Not the song I had in mind.
What were you thinking of?
"You can't hurry love."
HARM SR.: We're being painted.
Time to go down.
GARCIA: Charlies with
the popguns are the worst.
Target should be
about twelve o'clock,
five or six miles.
We got that SAM
at eleven o'clock.
I don't get excited till
three or four are in the air.
What do you say I
dispense chaff anyway?
Whatever.
Come two degrees left.
I see the target.
Follow your designator.
Commencing run. Get ready.
Your pickle is hot.
Steady.
Steady.
Release! Release!
Release!
Nailed them.
Outstanding.
We took some flak
in the wing tank.
We're streaming fuel.
Our wingman's been hit.
Did they get out?
HARM SR.: I have
two good chutes.
Ma'am...
are, are, are you lost?
I'm looking for the fantail.
Fantail? Well, see,
that'd be the, uh...
that'd be the hangar deck,
and this is, the, um,
this is the 0-2 level.
See, the, uh...
the first two numbers here, um,
they may tell you
what level you're at,
and then the next three tell you
what frame you're at and then...
So I have to go up?
Uh, yes, ma'am, down.
Ma'am, you know,
the fantail wouldn't be
a real safe place
to be right now.
We got some intruders
coming in pretty bad shape.
In fact, one of them
just got shot down.
Who... who was in it?
Well, I-I don't know that,
ma'am, but if you'd like
to go see them come
in, I can take you
up to vultures' row, and
you can watch them come in.
Would you like to, um...
It's this way.
Only one in so far.
Here comes another.
GARCIA: Call my fuel.
1,200 pounds.
I hope this thing
gets good mileage.
You don't want to
swim twice in one day?
I forgot my flippers.
1,100 pounds.
Paddles, this is
Sunday Puncher One.
Intruder Ball one-point-one.
Roger, Ball, you're low.
Get it up. Get it up.
Never had that problem before.
GARCIA: I can't see.
Thank you.
Bad habit. We all
had it back then.
MAN: Excuse me.
Miss Lake?
Yes.
Private First Class
Philip A. Fields.
First Air Cav.
Till I got shot up at Quan Loi.
You visited me at the hospital
at Cam Ranh Bay.
You and, and-and Bob Hope
and that guy with the big eyes.
Jerry Colonna.
I... I had a picture
of Jimi Hendrix
on the wall above my bed,
and you told me you
liked, uh, "Purple Haze."
Nobody played the
guitar like Hendrix.
( chuckles)
You remember.
Yes.
You kissed me on the cheek
and... I was really hurting.
It, it meant a lot to me.
To all of us, and...
Well, I just wanted
to say thank you.
No, Private Fields.
Thank you.
( light chuckle)
Merry Christmas.
That must make you feel good.
Yeah, very good.
Where was I?
The photographer had
blinded the pilot with his flash.
Oh, God, I thought that plane
was going to go in the water
with your father in it.
I can't see!
Go around.
No!
I'm getting some
of my vision back.
What the hell was that flash?
I don't know. I
was looking down.
How's our fuel?
RABB SR.: Point six.
I have the Ball.
A mile and three-quarters.
Check me out. Am I on line?
RABB SR.: To the left.
A little more.
Nose up.
Touch of power.
( relieved sighing)
That was the one wire.
Was that the one wire?
I thought it was the whitecap.
Well, Hammer, that'll
teach you to go flying
in a dump truck, huh?
Didn't do too bad
for a blind man.
I'm sorry about the flash.
Really, I had no idea.
I just took a picture.
Just so I get
a copy. He doesn't give
his photos away.
Not this batch.
The CAG deep-sixed
his camera. With
my picture in it?!
Yeah, there's a loss.
The party's still going
on down in the mess.
Come on, I'll buy
you guys a root beer.
Maybe later.
Has anybody seen...?
Jenny Lake?
You know, she
watched Garcia there,
almost buy the farm
with you on board.
She got so upset,
she ran off crying.
Well, I didn't know she cared.
She doesn't care.
Phyllis Diller told me.
Her fiancé was an aviator.
He got killed last week.
♪ Anchors aweigh, my boys ♪
♪ Anchors aweigh ♪
♪ Farewell to college joys ♪
♪ We sail at break of day ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪
♪ Anchors aweigh, my boys ♪
♪ Anchors aweigh ♪
♪ Sail on to victory ♪
♪ And sink their bones ♪
♪ To Davey Jones, hooray. ♪
( soldiers cheering,
Diller laughing)
Come on, kid.
You wanted to be a singer.
( feedback squeal)
( mellow blues guitar intro)
Great job, Phyllis.
Here, take this.
♪ Sittin' in the morning sun ♪
♪ I'll be sittin' till
the evenin' comes ♪
♪ Watchin' the ships roll in ♪
♪ Then I'll watch
'em roll away again ♪
♪ I'm just a-sittin' on
the dock of the bay ♪
♪ Watchin' the tide roll away ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I'm sittin' on the
dock of the bay ♪
♪ Wastin' time... ♪
You really flew
missions into China?
Those missions are secret, Jojo.
I hope I can count
on you to be discreet.
The outcome of the
war could depend on it.
Bob said we'd meet
men like you here.
We don't think of
ourselves as brave.
We're just men doing our jobs.
Bob didn't say "brave."
He said "full of crap."
If they fought the communists
as hard as they're
fighting to get
into these girls' pants,
this war would have
been over a long time ago.
We should lend Dixie and Jojo
to the South Vietnamese.
They've got a great defense.
♪ Looks like nothing's
gonna change ♪
♪ Everything still remains... ♪
You know, I was a
very big supporter
of the Reverend
Martin Luther King.
♪ ...I can't do what
ten people tell me to ♪
Honestly.
♪ So I guess I'll
remain the same... ♪
She lived next door to me.
We used to play
in my tree house.
She was the only
girl I ever loved.
"I know we made promises.
"Maybe I'm just weak,
but I honestly believe
I've fallen in love
with Dennis..."
My best friend.
We were on the
tennis team together.
"It happened after a Jefferson
Airplane concert in Hartford.
"I'm sorry if this hurts you,
"but waiting for you...
"not knowing if you'd
ever make it back,
it was just too much for me."
I'm thinking about joining the
priesthood when I get home.
"Dear Reggie..."
I thought you said
your name was Archie.
It is.
She called me Reggie...
A pet name, you know.
Really.
♪ ...My home in Georgia ♪
♪ And I headed
to the Frisco Bay ♪
♪ 'Cause I got
nothing to live for ♪
♪ No, nothing's
gonna come my way ♪
♪ I'm just a-sittin' on
the dock of the bay ♪
♪ Watchin' the tide roll away ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I'm sittin' on the
dock of the bay ♪
♪ Wastin' time ♪
♪ It looks like nothing's
gonna change ♪
♪ I can't do what ten
people tell me to ♪
♪ So I guess I'll
remain the same ♪
♪ Sittin' here
restin' my bones ♪
♪ And this loneliness
won't leave me alone ♪
♪ 2,000 miles I roamed ♪
♪ Just to make
this dock my home ♪
♪ I'm just a-sittin' on
the dock of the bay ♪
♪ Watchin' the tide roll away ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I'm sittin' on the
dock of the bay ♪
♪ Wastin' time... ♪
Were you really going to jump?
Yes, I think so.
What happened?
Your father happened.
It doesn't have any right
to be this beautiful, does it?
My grandmother was
born in South Dakota.
Died in South Dakota.
Never saw the sea
until she was 75.
My father put her
in his Plymouth
and drove her out to California,
walked her out on the
Santa Monica Pier...
she looked out at the ocean.
You know what she said?
No.
"Oh, my God, it's big
enough to hold South Dakota."
You know the view is much nicer
from this side of the rail.
I'm all right, I promise.
Just leave me alone.
I don't think I can do that.
Why not?
'cause I need
somebody to talk to.
( playing electric blues)
You're not bad, kid.
Navy got an exclusive
contract on you?
Only for another two years,
four months and three days.
You're not counting the hours?
Four hours.
The plane exploded.
There were two chutes.
A skinny kid from
Chicago named Rodgers
and a loudmouth called O'Rourke,
who thought he
could bluff at poker.
We haven't heard a damn
thing from them since.
They're alive?
Maybe.
Maybe they got
shot on the ground.
Maybe they landed
in a river and drowned.
Maybe they're being marched
to a P.O.W. camp right now.
That would be the worst thing.
Worse than dying?
People who love you
should have closure.
Who loves you, Lieutenant?
My wife.
My son... little Harm.
He's all boy.
Drives his mother crazy.
You must miss them very much.
Miss? Oh...
They send me letter tapes.
I listen to them till my
roommate screams.
He can recite
them along with me.
"Hey, Dad.
"Went to Marineland today.
"Mom bought me a shark's tooth.
Got one for you, too."
That's a hell of a way
for me to talk to a woman
who's just lost her fiancé...
Running on about my family.
Oh, it's, it's better than
someone trying to cheer me up.
What was his name?
David.
He was an aviator, like you.
Did you love the part of him
that made him an aviator?
You mean did I
love the thing in him
that got him killed?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I wanted to have
babies with David.
( crying)
Hey.
Hey.
It's all right.
You're kissing him.
Who are you kissing?
OFFICER: I don't know, sir.
He should be here soon.
Morning, sir.
CAG: Well, I'm glad you
could join us, Lieutenant.
Sorry, sir.
Bob Hope just
arrived, gentlemen,
and I'm going to say hi.
I hope you enjoyed that
impromptu show last night
because you're going
to miss the one today.
CAG will brief you.
X.O., you got it.
CAG: The powers that be don't
think Uncle Ho deserves a break
just because it's Christmas Eve
and they don't think
you deserve one, either.
What's the mission, sir?
A SAM site that's taken
out three of our aircraft.
It's got to go.
The mission's an iron hand.
So we're going to be giving them
some early
Christmas gifts... us.
You let their radar lock on
so your missiles
can follow it home.
Fire and run like hell.
You know the drill.
Nobody talk, nobody move.
I got to get this
eyelash back on.
Very delicate.
It's been with me since Guam.
Ta-dah!
Now for my next trick.
( cackling)
do you have to go? Now?
It isn't exactly voluntary.
And you...
I think you need a
good-bye kiss for luck.
( cackles)
Why, thank you.
Jen, give me a zip.
DILLER: I think we
need a little alone time.
But just don't start anything
unless you're
prepared to finish me.
( cackles)
DILLER: You're
kind of cute. Whoa.
DILLER: Whoa-ho, ooh!
I'd better chaperone
that poor boy.
Well, you'd better come
back before I leave.
Well, let's see.
You and 3,000 sailors
or a North Vietnamese
P.O.W. Camp?
Don't do that brave
joke crap with me, Harm.
It's all we have, Jenny.
You can't take that away.
Harm...
Jenny, if this
was another life...
Well, you just get back here
for the life you have.
I'm going to have
a life now, too,
because of you.
Here, take this for luck.
There's something
I want you to have.
Your wings?
It's Christmas Eve.
Everybody should have something.
( upbeat big band music playing)
Every Christmas, someone brings
a little bit of the
United States
out here to us far from home.
And no, I don't mean Santa.
It's a great honor for
me to welcome this man
and his U.S.O. Troupe
to the USS Ticonderoga.
Mr. Bob Hope!
( sailors cheering
and applauding)
( big band music continues)
Hello, sailors.
HOPE: "Hay, cameraman"?
Where'd you learn to spell?
"Hay, cameraman"... h-a-y.
I don't know how
you got that high.
I want to tell you that.
I just... Where the hell
are we, anyway, here?
Oh, yeah, the Ticonderoga.
Hey, we're very, very thrilled.
Hello, you Tico tigers.
( sailors return greeting)
Oh, isn't this a pretty sight?
Isn't this beautiful?
Who are these kids over there?
Are they on our side?
( sailors laughing)
It's amazing the change, though,
that comes over the crew
when you bring five
beautiful girls aboard.
We got more steam
on deck than we have
in the catapults.
( applause, cheers)
They were pretty nice to me.
I had to go over
to the North Hollywood
draft board and report in.
They gave me a physical,
but I thought they
were pretty rude about it.
They burned my draft card.
( laughter)
All right, enough about me.
Here's the one I know
you guys will welcome...
Miss Jenny Lake.
( cheers and applause)
( soft music playing)
♪ I'm dreaming tonight
of a place I know ♪
♪ Even more than I usually do ♪
♪ And although I know
it's a long road back ♪
♪ I promise you ♪
♪ I'll be home for Christmas ♪
♪ You can count on me ♪
♪ Please, have
snow and mistletoe ♪
♪ And presents under the tree ♪
♪ Christmas Eve will find me ♪
♪ Where the lovelight gleams ♪
♪ I'll be home for Christmas ♪
♪ If only in my dreams ♪
♪ Christmas Eve will find me ♪
♪ Where the lovelight gleams ♪
♪ I'll be home for Christmas ♪
♪ If only in my dreams. ♪
♪ I'll be home for Christmas ♪
♪ If only in my dreams. ♪
JENNY: We never
heard from him again.
His worst fear.
You know all that.
I didn't know about you and him.
Harm, he loved your
mother very much.
And you... he would
be so proud of you.
I finished that tour and
I came back every year
until all our boys were home...
one way or another.
I fell in love
with a bass player in the band
and I have two
wonderful children
who wouldn't have existed
if your father hadn't chased
a mixed-up girl
out to the fantail
of an aircraft carrier
in the middle of a crazy war.
I was going to leave
these at the memorial,
but they belong to you.
My father's wings.
No, they belong to him.
Oh, excuse me.
I... didn't mean to disturb you.
I forgot to bring
something to light this with.
Oh.
Not a problem.
Who are you here to honor?
An aviator...
Lieutenant Harmon Rabb.
( theme song plays)
"Little Harm."
That's what your
father called you, isn't it?
Yes.
You look so much like him.
Uh, did you know him?
You must've been...
I was five.
Last time I saw him, he
took me to Mission Park.
We... carved our
initials in a roller coaster.
Do you ever go back there?
They tore it down.
How did you know him?
I met him on the
USS Ticonderoga.
I was in a U.S.O. Troupe
with Bob Hope
on his annual tour.
You're Jenny Lake.
I have your album
with Count Basie.
Oh, my jazz experiment.
That was a few years later.
I met your father
on December 23...
30 years ago yesterday.
1969.
That Christmas Eve...
He was shot down.
I know.
I was there.
( shouting): Next time, we
take separate helicopters!
It's not my fault
it was crowded.
The only spare inch for
your hand was on my chest?
MAN OVER P.A.: Catapult and arresting
gear crew assemble at boardroom B.
Catapult and arresting gear
crew assemble at boardroom B.
Oh, hello.
Hello, and welcome
to the USS Ticonderoga.
That must be the express.
Never mind the noise.
Hope is going to plotz
when he sees this water hazard.
We'll give him a mulligan.
I'm Ensign Kyle Everett
of the Public
Information Office.
I'll be your official
escort and liaison officer.
Harvey Bambini...
I'm the road manager
for this here traveling zoo.
This is Jerry Colonna,
Bob's not-so-straight man
and Les Brown.
I love your band.
(jet engine roaring)
Tough act to follow, huh?
Yeah.
Hey, whatever
happened to "ladies first"?
I'm Phyllis Diller, cutie pie.
This is Diana Ross.
This is Jenny Lake.
The Captain invites you
to join him on the bridge.
(jet engine roaring)
Ba-dah-boom.
Ba-dah-bing.
( chuckling)
Folks, I just got word
Mr. Hope's helo had
to turn back to Da Nang.
Unfortunately,
mechanical problems.
Are they all right?
Oh, they're fine,
but won't be able
to join us till tomorrow.
The show's today.
Not without Bob, it's not.
We can do it tomorrow.
There's room on the schedule.
That is, if the skipper
will be kind enough
to put us up for the night.
Well, now, women
generally aren't allowed
to overnight on
American warships.
You're not going to throw us
to the sharks, are you Captain?
That'd better than
sleeping with the band.
Speak for yourself, honey.
Well, I think we can
find accommodations
that are appropriate
for all of you.
Excuse me, Captain.
We got us a sick bird coming in.
Who is it?
Rabb.
Panther Tower,
this is Badman One,
five miles astern.
Roger, Badman One.
What's the nature
of your problem?
Flak damage
to the flight control system.
Ailerons are acting up.
Roger. You'll signal
Charlie on arrival.
You going to be
able to get us down?
RABB SR.: Just keep your eye
on the hydraulic pressure.
Roger that.
Tong, Hammer, you trap first.
What, don't you want witnesses,
or are you afraid you're
going to foul the deck?
Both.
Wilco.
See you by the Christmas tree.
Break.
Control, this is Badman Two.
We are first on approach.
Roger, Badman Two.
Call the Ball.
Roger, Ball, two point four.
I can't watch.
It's okay, honey. One's down.
RABB SR.: How's
that hydraulic pressure?
It's fluctuating between
zero and 1,500 PSI.
RABB SR.: Panther Tower,
2-0-1 Bears abeam.
300 knots.
Roger. Angel on the way.
This is Angel.
We have a visual.
Roll excursions.
Oh...
I'm losing it!
Eject! Eject!
Angel, plane in the water.
Just off the fantail.
Two good chutes.
Affirmative. We
have two good chutes.
Roger. Angel is there.
I didn't know you were going
to have a floor show, Skipper.
Well, it wasn't on the
schedule, trust me.
Are they all right?
CAPTAIN: Oh, they'll be fine
if they don't... shrink
when they get wet.
Ensign Everett will show you
to your quarters, ma'am.
EVERETT: Aye, sir.
Now, if you'll follow me.
Just watch out for
the knee-knockers.
Her fiancé was a Marine pilot.
Killed in action?
One week ago.
She shouldn't be here.
She's a trouper.
EVERETT: I sing a
little, too, Miss Lake,
but nothing like you.
Well, for one thing
your voice would be
a little deeper, wouldn't it?
( cackling)
Yes, ma'am.
Uh, here you are.
Somebody will be
bringing your bags.
Thank you, Ensign.
( laughing): Oh...
This place could
use some wallpaper.
Phyllis, I shouldn't have come.
I know it isn't easy, kid.
Watching that plane
go in the water...
it was like seeing David die.
Look, kid, we're
stuck here tonight.
But after tomorrow,
you can get back on
a plane to the States.
No...
No, it's only another week.
I... I can do it.
( chuckling)
Whoa...
Looks like Santa came early.
DILLER: Can we
help you gentlemen?
MAN: Yeah, you could,
uh, tell us what you're doing
in our stateroom.
This is Phyllis Diller
and this is Jenny Lake
from the Bob Hope U.S.O. Tour.
Bob's stuck in Da
Nang till tomorrow.
I guess the skipper
thought you wouldn't mind.
No. We can, uh,
hot-bunk someplace.
How about here?
( cackling)
Uh, we were just about
to grab some chow.
If you ladies
would like to join us.
Phyllis, go with them.
No, go. I'm fine, I promise.
Well, if she insists.
( cackling)
Hoot, I'll, uh,
catch up with you.
I just want to grab that
combat mission log.
You okay?
Go.
Gone.
Shy little thing, huh?
Yeah. It used to be her act.
Now, she's been
doing it so long...
She is her act.
You, I guess, are, uh...
a little newer to
show business, huh?
Hey, um, I'll just
get out of your way
so you can find
that mission log.
( roaring)
More planes going up.
It's the catapult.
How long does that go on?
Until they launch the squadron.
( roaring)
Um...
Is there someplace I can go
to get away from the noise?
Fantail... it's the
opposite end of the ship.
I can take you
there if you like.
Are you Rabb or Gibson?
Rabb.
Mort Reese. I need
a picture of the hero
they pulled out of the water.
That was you?
Look brave.
Uh, no, I don't know what
papers it's going to be in.
No, I can't give you a copy.
You ready?
( roaring)
No, I'm kind of
getting used to it now.
Hammer...
Oh, uh... sorry to interrupt.
CAG wants to see
you on the bridge.
See you later?
Sure.
( door closes)
RABB SR.: In a clearing,
sir, somewhere about here.
"Somewhere."
By morning, those
missiles are going
to be dispersed all
over the province.
We're sending in an
intruder strike tonight.
I can't pinpoint it
on this map, sir,
but I could find it again.
You're not qualified
on intruders, son.
You'd have to fly
the bombardier's seat.
A passenger?
Well, we could always
strap you to the bomb rack.
Uh, no, sir.
Second seat will be fine.
Then grab some chow.
You launch in an hour.
Aye, aye, sir.
I was mad at your father.
It made no sense.
My father was a pilot
who survived, ma'am.
Your pilot didn't.
He reminded of David, too.
Not that he looked like him.
All fighter jocks are kind
of alike, they say, ma'am.
Like you?
I was... but not anymore.
When my father got back,
did you see him again?
Oh, yes.
I saw him later that night.
( crowd laughing and applauding)
PHYLLIS DILLER: So,
Jerry, tell me the truth.
What's that thing
on your mouth...
A mustache or a caterpillar?
( laughter)
JERRY COLONNA: Why don't
you kiss me and we'll find out?
AUDIENCE: Whoo!
Well, I guess my
insurance is paid up.
( laughter)
( crowd whooping)
Something moved.
The earth?
No, your tongue. Blaah!
That wasn't my tongue.
Oh!
I don't think you want
to know what it was.
That's the stuff Bob
won't let them do.
So, I go to the doctor.
Said, "Doc, I got a pain
under my left breast."
Yeah, what did he say it was?
My trick knee.
Shouldn't be talking
this way around
all these sailors.
It's like being in the
middle of a big desert tray.
( laughter)
Watch out, fellas.
She likes to nibble
on a few appetizers
before she gets
to the main course.
( laughter)
( applause)
VOICE OVER P.A.: Now
hear this. Now hear this.
Munitions loading
about to commence.
The smoking lamp is
out throughout the ship.
The smoking lamp is
out throughout the ship.
DILLER: I've got underwear
older than most of them.
COLONNA: I'm warning
you guys, she's been...
You're going to
have to put this out.
Mind if I sit down?
Yeah, wherever you want.
I was just leaving.
Hey, if it's on my account,
I can eat in my quarters,
or should I say your quarters?
Kind of a confusing night, huh?
Look, Lieutenant...
Harm.
You seem like a nice guy.
I'd like to be alone
with my thoughts.
Probably shouldn't be on an
aircraft carrier, then, ma'am.
No, I probably shouldn't.
DILLER: When we were flying in,
I couldn't believe how
small this deck looked.
The only safe way to get
down is to get shot down.
( laughter)
You almost got killed today.
Wasn't as close at it looked.
Doesn't it bother you?
Not half as much as this chow.
You almost got killed
an-and you crack jokes?
What would you suggest I do?
Rabb?
Joe Garcia.
I hear you're looking
for a ride downtown.
You my chauffeur?
Yeah, if you know
how to work the knobs
in the passenger seat.
I've been studying up on
my handy pocket checklist.
You didn't eat much.
Nervous?
I figured you'd be
serving a box lunch.
I'll see you when I get back.
If you get back.
She's with the comedy troupe.
Mm.
( sighs)
Jenny, what the
hell are you doing?
Having the time of my life, Les.
Can't you tell?
We're supposed to be
cheering these men up.
Well, how about
getting them out of here
so they don't get killed.
Wouldn't that cheer them up?
Hey, you're out of line.
Then send me home.
Hey, Harm.
Tong.
I'll see you in the ready room.
Listen, uh...
are you taking a
run at that singer?
She looks like
she's hurting, Tong.
Well, you might
send her to sick bay.
Last I heard, Dr. Hammer
was a happily married man.
He still is.
This girl just
needs a big brother.
Okay. What does
big brother need?
A little sister.
Don't worry about it.
HARM SR.: It
must get kind of dull
flying these turkeys every day.
Well, we do kill a SAM
every now and then
mostly by accident.
Hope you don't get bored.
I brought a book.
Then mark your place.
This is Sunday
Puncher One taking
the pause that refreshes.
Yeee-hah!
Whoo!
How's your book?
Boring.
Good. 'cause
we're going feet dry.
( playing up-tempo music)
Whoo!
All right!
DILLER: Whoa. Here we go.
( cackling)
Well, it's not the Supremes,
but it does make you
want to dance, doesn't it?
Why is that, Captain?
Well, I believe you
said it yourself, Diana...
if I may call you that.
"Love is like an
itching in my heart."
Hmm. Not the song I had in mind.
What were you thinking of?
"You can't hurry love."
HARM SR.: We're being painted.
Time to go down.
GARCIA: Charlies with
the popguns are the worst.
Target should be
about twelve o'clock,
five or six miles.
We got that SAM
at eleven o'clock.
I don't get excited till
three or four are in the air.
What do you say I
dispense chaff anyway?
Whatever.
Come two degrees left.
I see the target.
Follow your designator.
Commencing run. Get ready.
Your pickle is hot.
Steady.
Steady.
Release! Release!
Release!
Nailed them.
Outstanding.
We took some flak
in the wing tank.
We're streaming fuel.
Our wingman's been hit.
Did they get out?
HARM SR.: I have
two good chutes.
Ma'am...
are, are, are you lost?
I'm looking for the fantail.
Fantail? Well, see,
that'd be the, uh...
that'd be the hangar deck,
and this is, the, um,
this is the 0-2 level.
See, the, uh...
the first two numbers here, um,
they may tell you
what level you're at,
and then the next three tell you
what frame you're at and then...
So I have to go up?
Uh, yes, ma'am, down.
Ma'am, you know,
the fantail wouldn't be
a real safe place
to be right now.
We got some intruders
coming in pretty bad shape.
In fact, one of them
just got shot down.
Who... who was in it?
Well, I-I don't know that,
ma'am, but if you'd like
to go see them come
in, I can take you
up to vultures' row, and
you can watch them come in.
Would you like to, um...
It's this way.
Only one in so far.
Here comes another.
GARCIA: Call my fuel.
1,200 pounds.
I hope this thing
gets good mileage.
You don't want to
swim twice in one day?
I forgot my flippers.
1,100 pounds.
Paddles, this is
Sunday Puncher One.
Intruder Ball one-point-one.
Roger, Ball, you're low.
Get it up. Get it up.
Never had that problem before.
GARCIA: I can't see.
Thank you.
Bad habit. We all
had it back then.
MAN: Excuse me.
Miss Lake?
Yes.
Private First Class
Philip A. Fields.
First Air Cav.
Till I got shot up at Quan Loi.
You visited me at the hospital
at Cam Ranh Bay.
You and, and-and Bob Hope
and that guy with the big eyes.
Jerry Colonna.
I... I had a picture
of Jimi Hendrix
on the wall above my bed,
and you told me you
liked, uh, "Purple Haze."
Nobody played the
guitar like Hendrix.
( chuckles)
You remember.
Yes.
You kissed me on the cheek
and... I was really hurting.
It, it meant a lot to me.
To all of us, and...
Well, I just wanted
to say thank you.
No, Private Fields.
Thank you.
( light chuckle)
Merry Christmas.
That must make you feel good.
Yeah, very good.
Where was I?
The photographer had
blinded the pilot with his flash.
Oh, God, I thought that plane
was going to go in the water
with your father in it.
I can't see!
Go around.
No!
I'm getting some
of my vision back.
What the hell was that flash?
I don't know. I
was looking down.
How's our fuel?
RABB SR.: Point six.
I have the Ball.
A mile and three-quarters.
Check me out. Am I on line?
RABB SR.: To the left.
A little more.
Nose up.
Touch of power.
( relieved sighing)
That was the one wire.
Was that the one wire?
I thought it was the whitecap.
Well, Hammer, that'll
teach you to go flying
in a dump truck, huh?
Didn't do too bad
for a blind man.
I'm sorry about the flash.
Really, I had no idea.
I just took a picture.
Just so I get
a copy. He doesn't give
his photos away.
Not this batch.
The CAG deep-sixed
his camera. With
my picture in it?!
Yeah, there's a loss.
The party's still going
on down in the mess.
Come on, I'll buy
you guys a root beer.
Maybe later.
Has anybody seen...?
Jenny Lake?
You know, she
watched Garcia there,
almost buy the farm
with you on board.
She got so upset,
she ran off crying.
Well, I didn't know she cared.
She doesn't care.
Phyllis Diller told me.
Her fiancé was an aviator.
He got killed last week.
♪ Anchors aweigh, my boys ♪
♪ Anchors aweigh ♪
♪ Farewell to college joys ♪
♪ We sail at break of day ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪
♪ Anchors aweigh, my boys ♪
♪ Anchors aweigh ♪
♪ Sail on to victory ♪
♪ And sink their bones ♪
♪ To Davey Jones, hooray. ♪
( soldiers cheering,
Diller laughing)
Come on, kid.
You wanted to be a singer.
( feedback squeal)
( mellow blues guitar intro)
Great job, Phyllis.
Here, take this.
♪ Sittin' in the morning sun ♪
♪ I'll be sittin' till
the evenin' comes ♪
♪ Watchin' the ships roll in ♪
♪ Then I'll watch
'em roll away again ♪
♪ I'm just a-sittin' on
the dock of the bay ♪
♪ Watchin' the tide roll away ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I'm sittin' on the
dock of the bay ♪
♪ Wastin' time... ♪
You really flew
missions into China?
Those missions are secret, Jojo.
I hope I can count
on you to be discreet.
The outcome of the
war could depend on it.
Bob said we'd meet
men like you here.
We don't think of
ourselves as brave.
We're just men doing our jobs.
Bob didn't say "brave."
He said "full of crap."
If they fought the communists
as hard as they're
fighting to get
into these girls' pants,
this war would have
been over a long time ago.
We should lend Dixie and Jojo
to the South Vietnamese.
They've got a great defense.
♪ Looks like nothing's
gonna change ♪
♪ Everything still remains... ♪
You know, I was a
very big supporter
of the Reverend
Martin Luther King.
♪ ...I can't do what
ten people tell me to ♪
Honestly.
♪ So I guess I'll
remain the same... ♪
She lived next door to me.
We used to play
in my tree house.
She was the only
girl I ever loved.
"I know we made promises.
"Maybe I'm just weak,
but I honestly believe
I've fallen in love
with Dennis..."
My best friend.
We were on the
tennis team together.
"It happened after a Jefferson
Airplane concert in Hartford.
"I'm sorry if this hurts you,
"but waiting for you...
"not knowing if you'd
ever make it back,
it was just too much for me."
I'm thinking about joining the
priesthood when I get home.
"Dear Reggie..."
I thought you said
your name was Archie.
It is.
She called me Reggie...
A pet name, you know.
Really.
♪ ...My home in Georgia ♪
♪ And I headed
to the Frisco Bay ♪
♪ 'Cause I got
nothing to live for ♪
♪ No, nothing's
gonna come my way ♪
♪ I'm just a-sittin' on
the dock of the bay ♪
♪ Watchin' the tide roll away ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I'm sittin' on the
dock of the bay ♪
♪ Wastin' time ♪
♪ It looks like nothing's
gonna change ♪
♪ I can't do what ten
people tell me to ♪
♪ So I guess I'll
remain the same ♪
♪ Sittin' here
restin' my bones ♪
♪ And this loneliness
won't leave me alone ♪
♪ 2,000 miles I roamed ♪
♪ Just to make
this dock my home ♪
♪ I'm just a-sittin' on
the dock of the bay ♪
♪ Watchin' the tide roll away ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I'm sittin' on the
dock of the bay ♪
♪ Wastin' time... ♪
Were you really going to jump?
Yes, I think so.
What happened?
Your father happened.
It doesn't have any right
to be this beautiful, does it?
My grandmother was
born in South Dakota.
Died in South Dakota.
Never saw the sea
until she was 75.
My father put her
in his Plymouth
and drove her out to California,
walked her out on the
Santa Monica Pier...
she looked out at the ocean.
You know what she said?
No.
"Oh, my God, it's big
enough to hold South Dakota."
You know the view is much nicer
from this side of the rail.
I'm all right, I promise.
Just leave me alone.
I don't think I can do that.
Why not?
'cause I need
somebody to talk to.
( playing electric blues)
You're not bad, kid.
Navy got an exclusive
contract on you?
Only for another two years,
four months and three days.
You're not counting the hours?
Four hours.
The plane exploded.
There were two chutes.
A skinny kid from
Chicago named Rodgers
and a loudmouth called O'Rourke,
who thought he
could bluff at poker.
We haven't heard a damn
thing from them since.
They're alive?
Maybe.
Maybe they got
shot on the ground.
Maybe they landed
in a river and drowned.
Maybe they're being marched
to a P.O.W. camp right now.
That would be the worst thing.
Worse than dying?
People who love you
should have closure.
Who loves you, Lieutenant?
My wife.
My son... little Harm.
He's all boy.
Drives his mother crazy.
You must miss them very much.
Miss? Oh...
They send me letter tapes.
I listen to them till my
roommate screams.
He can recite
them along with me.
"Hey, Dad.
"Went to Marineland today.
"Mom bought me a shark's tooth.
Got one for you, too."
That's a hell of a way
for me to talk to a woman
who's just lost her fiancé...
Running on about my family.
Oh, it's, it's better than
someone trying to cheer me up.
What was his name?
David.
He was an aviator, like you.
Did you love the part of him
that made him an aviator?
You mean did I
love the thing in him
that got him killed?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I wanted to have
babies with David.
( crying)
Hey.
Hey.
It's all right.
You're kissing him.
Who are you kissing?
OFFICER: I don't know, sir.
He should be here soon.
Morning, sir.
CAG: Well, I'm glad you
could join us, Lieutenant.
Sorry, sir.
Bob Hope just
arrived, gentlemen,
and I'm going to say hi.
I hope you enjoyed that
impromptu show last night
because you're going
to miss the one today.
CAG will brief you.
X.O., you got it.
CAG: The powers that be don't
think Uncle Ho deserves a break
just because it's Christmas Eve
and they don't think
you deserve one, either.
What's the mission, sir?
A SAM site that's taken
out three of our aircraft.
It's got to go.
The mission's an iron hand.
So we're going to be giving them
some early
Christmas gifts... us.
You let their radar lock on
so your missiles
can follow it home.
Fire and run like hell.
You know the drill.
Nobody talk, nobody move.
I got to get this
eyelash back on.
Very delicate.
It's been with me since Guam.
Ta-dah!
Now for my next trick.
( cackling)
do you have to go? Now?
It isn't exactly voluntary.
And you...
I think you need a
good-bye kiss for luck.
( cackles)
Why, thank you.
Jen, give me a zip.
DILLER: I think we
need a little alone time.
But just don't start anything
unless you're
prepared to finish me.
( cackles)
DILLER: You're
kind of cute. Whoa.
DILLER: Whoa-ho, ooh!
I'd better chaperone
that poor boy.
Well, you'd better come
back before I leave.
Well, let's see.
You and 3,000 sailors
or a North Vietnamese
P.O.W. Camp?
Don't do that brave
joke crap with me, Harm.
It's all we have, Jenny.
You can't take that away.
Harm...
Jenny, if this
was another life...
Well, you just get back here
for the life you have.
I'm going to have
a life now, too,
because of you.
Here, take this for luck.
There's something
I want you to have.
Your wings?
It's Christmas Eve.
Everybody should have something.
( upbeat big band music playing)
Every Christmas, someone brings
a little bit of the
United States
out here to us far from home.
And no, I don't mean Santa.
It's a great honor for
me to welcome this man
and his U.S.O. Troupe
to the USS Ticonderoga.
Mr. Bob Hope!
( sailors cheering
and applauding)
( big band music continues)
Hello, sailors.
HOPE: "Hay, cameraman"?
Where'd you learn to spell?
"Hay, cameraman"... h-a-y.
I don't know how
you got that high.
I want to tell you that.
I just... Where the hell
are we, anyway, here?
Oh, yeah, the Ticonderoga.
Hey, we're very, very thrilled.
Hello, you Tico tigers.
( sailors return greeting)
Oh, isn't this a pretty sight?
Isn't this beautiful?
Who are these kids over there?
Are they on our side?
( sailors laughing)
It's amazing the change, though,
that comes over the crew
when you bring five
beautiful girls aboard.
We got more steam
on deck than we have
in the catapults.
( applause, cheers)
They were pretty nice to me.
I had to go over
to the North Hollywood
draft board and report in.
They gave me a physical,
but I thought they
were pretty rude about it.
They burned my draft card.
( laughter)
All right, enough about me.
Here's the one I know
you guys will welcome...
Miss Jenny Lake.
( cheers and applause)
( soft music playing)
♪ I'm dreaming tonight
of a place I know ♪
♪ Even more than I usually do ♪
♪ And although I know
it's a long road back ♪
♪ I promise you ♪
♪ I'll be home for Christmas ♪
♪ You can count on me ♪
♪ Please, have
snow and mistletoe ♪
♪ And presents under the tree ♪
♪ Christmas Eve will find me ♪
♪ Where the lovelight gleams ♪
♪ I'll be home for Christmas ♪
♪ If only in my dreams ♪
♪ Christmas Eve will find me ♪
♪ Where the lovelight gleams ♪
♪ I'll be home for Christmas ♪
♪ If only in my dreams. ♪
♪ I'll be home for Christmas ♪
♪ If only in my dreams. ♪
JENNY: We never
heard from him again.
His worst fear.
You know all that.
I didn't know about you and him.
Harm, he loved your
mother very much.
And you... he would
be so proud of you.
I finished that tour and
I came back every year
until all our boys were home...
one way or another.
I fell in love
with a bass player in the band
and I have two
wonderful children
who wouldn't have existed
if your father hadn't chased
a mixed-up girl
out to the fantail
of an aircraft carrier
in the middle of a crazy war.
I was going to leave
these at the memorial,
but they belong to you.
My father's wings.
No, they belong to him.