JAG (1995–2005): Season 4, Episode 23 - Yeah, Baby - full transcript

Okay, Harm, it's pizza night.

My stomach is growling.

What say we trap this time?

Tomcat 1-7-3,

you're at a mile and a quarter.

Call the Ball.

1-7-3 Tomcat. Clara,

three point six.

Fan left, Harm.

1-7-3 Tomcat.
Ball, three point five.

Roger, Ball.



You're a little low.

Power, power,

power!

You're not taking
this personally,

are you, Major?

I mean all's fair in love,
war and the courtroom, right?

Wrong!

Want to talk about this?

No, I don't.

Look, Major,

I don't want there to be any
hard feelings between us.

There is nothing between us...

Good, bad or otherwise.

And if you try to stop this
door from closing one more time



I will dislocate your shoulder.

Blimey, I like
your style, Major.

You must be a hellcat in the...

Well, good morning.

Hey.

Well, this a surprise.

I couldn't sleep, so I thought

I'd come over and
make you breakfast.

Hmm. Oh, sweaty!

Well, you know,

this girlish figure doesn't
come without sacrifice. Uh-huh.

You ought to come
running with me sometime.

Ah, no, thanks.

Medical studies prove women
need more body fat than men.

Oh, really?

Who sponsored that
study? Hostess Twinkies?

Funny. How would
you like to try running

with a broken kneecap?

Oh, you're vicious
when you're angry.

I'm going to take a shower,

but I'll be back.

You do that.

Harm?

Heads up!

Wide load coming through.

Clear the deck.

Good morning, Lieutenant.

Good morning, Tiner.

How are you feeling today?

Ugh! My bladder's being crushed

I can practically hear
my skin stretching,

and I'm retaining so much water

that my butt is
shifting with the tide.

Well, at least

it's for a good cause, ma'am.

And if I may be candid,

well, there are some men
who find pregnant women very...

attractive.

Well, thank you, Tiner.

I appreciate the compliment.

But if you really want
to make me feel better,

think foot rub.

Ah.

Have you seen the
sailor who did this to me?

Ma'am? Lieutenant Roberts.

My husband.

Ah! Never mind.

Thank you.

Good morning, sir.

Bud?

Mr. Roberts.

Lieutenant.

Bud!

Sweetie, I made a
list for the pharmacy.

Could you go get
these things for me?

Sure.

"Prenatal vitamins..."

For a healthy baby.

"Vitamin E cream..."

for my stretch marks.

"Breast pump."

In case I have to express

some breast milk.

Excuse me.

What?

You just grimaced.

No, I didn't.

Yes, you did.

I am basking

in the natural glow

of motherhood

and you're grossed out.

No, I'm not, and...

and can we talk about
this at home? Later?

There's nothing to talk about.

I am pregnant with
your baby, Bud,

and for your information,
there are some men around here

that find a woman
in my state sexy.

Yeah? Name one.

Hold the elevator, please.

Thanks, Major.

Ready to go at it?

Excuse me?

In court today.

Uh...

More cutbacks in
military spending?

Don't even think about it.

What?

Think about what?

Did you tell Lieutenant
Sims that she was sexy?

Sir?

It's a simple question, Tiner.

Did you tell the Lieutenant

that you were sexually
attracted to her?

No, sir. No?

The Lieutenant
was feeling blue, sir.

I was just trying to
make her feel better.

I don't recall that being part
of your duties, Petty Officer.

Get your own pregnant wife.

Lieutenant.

Do you have a good reason

for badgering
Petty Officer Tiner?

No, sir.

Then I suggest that
you get back to work

and get your own Petty Officer.

Yes, sir.

This is your brain.

This is your brain
during fatherhood.

Any questions?

No, sir.

Good.

"The role of the
military justice

"must evolve along with...

with society, if... if..."

You ever heard of knocking?

I did, sir.

Well, obviously,
I didn't hear you.

I'm sorry.

Sorry. Come on in.

I've got to... make a speech

to the House National Security
Subcommittee this afternoon.

Can this wait?

Well, sir, I've been putting
this off for two days already.

Admiral, if you wouldn't mind.

Sir, I'd like the opportunity

to change my designator.

I joined the Navy to
serve as a Naval Aviator,

which I was forced to abandon,

because of a medical problem

which has since been corrected.

Sir, I've enjoyed
my time here at JAG,

especially serving
under you, Admiral, but I...

I also believe that I could
be of service to the Navy,

and to my country if I
returned to active flight status.

Nice speech.

How long have
you been practicing?

About a week, sir.

Want to address Congress?

No, sir. Thank you.

But you do want to leave JAG?

Sir, it's not so much
that I want to leave JAG,

as... it's... I want
the opportunity

to return to a fighter squad.

Admiral, I was forced
to give up flying.

It was never my decision,

and if I decide to
stay here at JAG,

I would like it to
be my decision.

Hmm.

Well, this sounds stupid,

but, um, have you given this
a lot of thought, Commander?

Day and night, sir,
for quite some time.

If you go back to a squadron...

Providing that you can
pass the flight physical...

I can pass the
flight physical, sir.

You'll be going backwards.

Hell, you might be taking
orders from guys half your age.

I don't think there are many
17-year-old fighter pilots, sir.

Not too many
35-year-old JAG lawyers

flying these days
either, Commander.

Well, I'd like the opportunity

to be the first, sir.

Well, I think we should
discuss this at length.

Admiral, I love the law,

but all I've ever really
wanted to do is fly.

So did Icarus.

Icarus never flew an F-14, sir.

As Commanding Officer, I
sometimes have to make decisions

that I consider the
best for my people.

Occasionally, those
decisions are in opposition

to the individual.
Sir, are you saying

that you are not going
to approve my request?

You're going to need a
lot more than my approval

to make this happen.

But it can't happen without
your approval, Admiral.

I have a speech to give
this afternoon, Commander.

I will give you my
decision in due time.

Dismissed.

Aye, aye, sir.

Thank you, sir.

MacKENZIE:
You're kidding, right?

Sorry, ma'am.

They say it could
take up to 30 minutes

for a technician to get here.

Then we'll just have
to spend this time

getting to know each
other a little better.

Let's not.

What are you afraid of, Major...

That you might find
yourself liking me?

Look, Commander, I like you.

I think you're a
nice enough guy.

And you're a pretty good lawyer.

Stop. You're embarrassing me.

I'm just not interested in
a relationship with you...

or anyone else right now.

And is this a hard and fast rule

against dating those
within your command

or is it more of a guideline?

It's a commandment.

I had a boyfriend
die in a car accident...

my... ex-husband
is dead, and, uh...

a lawyer I was involved
with was murdered.

Do you see a pattern here?

Yeah, I do.

Not a damn
Australian in the lot.

Wh-Why me?

Honestly?

Yeah.

You kind of remind
me of my mother.

Your mother?

Let me give you a
little advice on that, Mic.

That line might work
with women down under,

but as a rule,

American women don't like being
compared to anyone's mother.

I'm pulling your leg, Major.

My mum was three times
your size and twice as mean.

But God, she was a special lady.

And I just think you are, too.

That's all.

Is there something
wrong with the elevator?

Yeah. It's stuck
between floors, ma'am.

I'd take the stairs
if I were you.

Oh... if you were me,
you'd be at home whining,

with your feet up.

Have to do that
again sometime soon.

Thank you.

I think I'll pass.

On May 2, 1998,

Lance Corporal
Edward Carr turned 21.

He decided to celebrate his
birthday with his fellow Marines

at a local watering hole.

Yes, he had a little
too much to drink,

and yes, his staff NCO
had to drive him home,

only she didn't drive
him to his place.

She took him to her place,
presumably to dry out.

Two weeks later, he was
reprimanded for his behavior.

This was to become the first
of many unfavorable reports

and evaluations
filed against my client,

which ultimately led to
a special court-martial

for dereliction of duty
due to culpable inefficiency.

The point of this
hearing, please?

New information has
come to our attention

which has a direct bearing
on this case, Your Honor.

Specifics, Mr. Roberts.

If Staff Sergeant Morris would
be so kind as to stand up?

Objection, Your Honor.

The staff sergeant
is not on trial here.

We put this case to bed

almost a year ago?

Commander Imes
has a point, Lieutenant.

I believe the evidence
speaks for itself, sir.

Humor him.

Your Honor, it is
our intention to prove

that Staff Sergeant
Aileen Morris

purposefully orchestrated
the seduction of Corporal Carr

with the intention of
getting herself pregnant,

then took steps to distance
the Corporal from herself

in order to keep
her scheme a secret.

You're kidding.

No, sir. Your Honor,
this is insulting

to the Staff Sergeant
as well as the court.

Can you prove that the
child she's carrying is his?

A simple DNA test
would do so, Your Honor.

The Staff Sergeant has no
intention of submitting herself

or her unborn baby to any
unnecessary medical procedures,

especially this late
in her pregnancy.

Do you have any other evidence

to substantiate your
claim, Lieutenant? Yes, sir.

Then we will proceed with
this hearing tomorrow at 1400.

What other evidence
do we have, sir?

I'm working on it.

Surprise! Surprise!

Oh, you guys!

It is a boy, right?

When last we checked,
with fingers crossed...

This is so adorable!

Look at this!

Where in the world
did you find it?

Carolyn picked it out.

They... they didn't
have Marine greens.

Oh, it's so cute.
Bud's going to love it

You guys didn't have to do this.

Are you kidding? I love
shopping for baby clothes.

Of course, I only
get to buy them

when a friend's having a baby.

Oh, you should have seen
the little outfits they had for girls.

These little capri pants with a
leopard-print top and matching...

Shoes! Shoes!

You're so lucky, Harriet.

I wish I was having a baby.

Don't you, Mac?

Well, I-I think I
should probably have

a-a relationship with
someone first. Oh...

Oh, yeah.

Details, details.

Yeah, getting
pregnant's the easy part.

It's finding the right
guy... That's the hard part.

Well, not for Harriet.

Hey... you know,

maybe Bud could
get us all pregnant.

Look at the pants!

Hey!

What are you doing out here?

Uh, you weren't home.

I was going to leave.

Well, you should
have let yourself in

and waited inside, you nut.

Hey, what's up?

It seems like something's wrong.

You tell me... before
I left this morning,

I saw your request to
change your designator.

I was going to tell you.

Tell me what, Harm?

You know you can't fly
because of your eyes.

I had them fixed...
Laser ablation.

So you can go back to flying?

It's a long shot, but, uh...

if my, uh, request is approved
and if I decide that, uh...

that's what I want to do,

and, uh, if I make
my qualifications.

A lot of "ifs" there.

But you make it sound like you
haven't decided yet. I haven't.

But you submitted your letter?

This morning.

It's the first step in a long
process, Jordan... you know that.

I've been dumped for another
woman before, but I've never

been dumped for an airplane.

I'm not dumping you.

Look, Jordan, frankly,
you're one of the reasons

that I haven't made up my mind.

But if I do decide to
return to a squadron,

it doesn't change what we have.

It does for me; I fell in love
with Harmon Rabb the lawyer,

not a fighter pilot I might
see twice a year if I'm lucky.

I'm still the same man, Jordan.

You're not making this easy.

Why should I?

The man I love just told me
he's thinking about leaving.

JAG, not you.

It's the same thing!

Call me when you've
made up your mind.

Jordan...

If you married my dad,

then I could have
a mom for real.

And then you two
could have a baby

and then I'd have
parents and a little sister.

You know, your dad's
going to have his hands full

with one new woman...
He doesn't need me.

But I do.

I'm only a phone call away.

Be right back.

Hi.

Hey. Oh, hi, Chloe.

Hey, Harm.

I'm... sorry. I didn't
know you had company.

Oh, no, we're just having
a slumber party here.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm good.

I was in the neighborhood.

I thought I'd stop by.

Do you guys want
to be left alone?

Yeah. No.

That's okay.

I got to go put on
my jammies anyway.

You two behave
yourselves out here.

What's going on?

Well, uh...

Jordan and I had a fight.

Mm, let me guess:

She, uh, wants a commitment?

How'd you know that?

Well, it's... what every
woman wants, I guess.

What, you're not, you're
not ready to commit?

Well, the rules of engagement
have changed, Mac.

What do you mean?

I had eye surgery. I
got my night vision back.

What?

When did this happen?

A couple weeks ago.

You had a major operation
and you didn't tell me?

A triple bypass is a
major operation, Mac.

Eye surgery's like
having your teeth cleaned.

I tell you when I'm
going to the dentist.

Well, I wasn't sure how
it would work out, frankly.

But it did?

Oh, like a dream.

Well...

So, what now?

You thinking about trying to...

return to a fighter squadron?

I spent my life preparing
to be a naval aviator, Mac.

Yeah, except for three
years in law school and...

four years as a JAG.

I, uh...

I put my request in to
Admiral Chegwidden today,

to return to
active flight status.

You can't do that.

Why not?

Because if you do,

it would mean that flying is
more important to you than JAG,

it's more important
to you than Jordan,

it's more important to...
to you than everything.

Well, I thought
you, of all people,

would know how much
flying means to me.

I do.

I do, Harm,

but this is the last... thing

that I need right now.

You're starting to sound
a lot like Jordan, Mac.

You guys almost finished?

Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah.

Well, uh...

we'll talk about it later.

I'd better get going.

See you later, Chloe.

Good-bye.

Cute toes!

Very colorful.

It's just the best.

Catchy.

Yep.

I think I understand now
why you can't marry my dad.

You're in love with Harm.

Good evening, Major.

Mic...

These are for you...

Wow, they're beautiful.

Thank you.

And this, little lady...

is for you.

Thank you.

Lieutenant Commander Mic Brumby,

this is my little sister, Chloe.

It's a pleasure to
meet you, Chloe.

I didn't know you
had a sister, Mac.

Oh, she's not really my sister.

Mac's kind of like
my surrogate mother.

So, who's up for pizza?

I am.

You just had two
pounds of chicken wings.

I am at a vital stage
of my development

and I require lots of protein.

Protein, yes... pizza, no.

Maybe some other time, Mic.

Bad timing, huh?

The worst.

Say good night, Mic.

Good night, Mic.

Bye.

I think that Australian
really likes you.

Lucky me.

Are you sad because
Harm might leave JAG?

Were you eavesdropping?

It's a small apartment.

Mm...

I don't know what I'm feeling.

Well, if it makes
you feel any better

you should know that
Harm's in love with you, too.

Harm has a girlfriend.

A woman can sense
this kind of thing.

Oh, really?

Yes, really.

Harm and Mac,

sittin' in a tree.

K-i-s-s-i-n...

g!

How come boys don't
get any smarter with age?

That's one of nature's
greatest mysteries.

I'm going to miss you, kiddo.

I'm going to miss you, too.

Sometimes, I come here

to remind myself why
we do the things we do.

Now, what seems to
be the problem, AJ?

I, um...

I need to ask a favor, sir.

Well, I'm not one who
grants many favors, Admiral.

Nor am I one to ask.

So, what is it?

It's, um, it's about
Commander Rabb.

Oh, what's he done now?

It's not so much what he's done.

It's what he may want to do...

Change his designator.

If he wants to fly,

tell him to hop on
a red-eye to Vegas.

The Navy is not in the practice

of spending millions of dollars

retraining pilots who
are past their prime.

Sir, he was, um, he
was grounded, uh...

due to a vision problem

that's since been corrected.

Rabb's a damn fine aviator

and he just wants
the option to fly again.

Knowing full well
it's career suicide?

Well, sir, with all due
respect, it is his career.

Well, it was until now.

Now, I know you
don't like me, AJ.

Mr. Secretary...

And to be honest,
I don't give a damn,

but I also know that coming here
and asking me for help must be

about the hardest
thing in the world for you.

So, why are you putting
yourself through this?

Rabb has given you more trouble

than anyone else
under your command.

Why are you going
to the wall for him?

I believe in him, sir.

Well, that makes one of us.

Rabb's been a thorn in my side

ever since I first
heard his name.

So, I can't say as I have
any real desire to help him.

On the other hand, it
would be a good opportunity

to get him the hell
out of Washington.

I'll think about it.

I appreciate it,
sir. I owe you one.

Yes... you do.

I'd like to offer into
evidence exhibits G and H...

Performance evaluation
recommendations

from Staff Sergeant Morris
to the commanding officer.

Objection.

Irrelevant.

I'm not done, sir.

Overruled.

Get to your point, Lieutenant.

My client had an
exemplary record

before he was seduced
by the staff sergeant.

After that...

Objection.

Facts not in evidence.

We have seen no proof

of this alleged seduction.

Oh, really?

I suppose that this
is a bowling ball

underneath her uniform.

Lieutenant, another
remark like that

and I'll cite you with contempt.

Sorry, sir.

Don't apologize to me,
apologize to the staff sergeant.

I apologize.

You're 32 years old
and have a history

of failed
relationships, correct?

Objection.

Hearsay.

Sustained.

Is it not true that you want

to be a mother and have a family

but you don't want to have
a husband or a boyfriend

or really any man in your life?

Can you blame me, sir?

You saw a potential father
in Lance Corporal Carr,

and you seduced him with
the intention of getting pregnant,

then you gave him
a bad evaluation.

Objection, Your Honor.

The Lieutenant
is editorializing.

Sustained.

Ask a question,
Lieutenant, or rest.

Why did you keep
this pregnancy a secret

from Lance Corporal Carr?

It was none of
his business, sir.

Your Honor, the Staff
Sergeant has been

more than patient
with Mr. Roberts.

I would like to request that
we put an end to this now.

She's got a point.

Now, I've given
you every chance,

but you're spinning your wheels.

I've heard enough.

One last question, Your Honor.

Make it snappy.

Staff Sergeant Morris,
did you seduce my client

with the purpose
of getting pregnant,

then take steps to transfer him

the moment that you
realized you'd conceived?

It's a simple question.

Please answer the
question, Staff Sergeant.

Failure to do so is

as good as an
admission of guilt.

Objection... badgering.

Witness is being
uncooperative, sir.

I can't answer, sir.

The witness is
hostile, Your Honor.

I'm not hostile, sir.

I think my water broke.

Nice job, Lieutenant.

You badgered her into labor.

We'll recess until
further notice.

How you doing, Staff Sergeant?

I've been better, sir.

All right, Commander,
Lieutenant,

will you help the Staff Sergeant

into one of the benches, please?

Oh, boy.

Just breathe through it.

Do you have anybody we can call

to take you to the hospital? No.

I can take her to the hospital.

I don't think
that's a good idea,

Lance Corporal, all
things considered.

Ooh.

I-I don't think I
can do this alone.

Then let me take you.

It's your call, Staff Sergeant.

He should be there.

He is the father.

I am?

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

We can talk about this
later... after you get me

to the hospital.

Congratulations, Lieutenant.

You just won your
right to appeal.

Enter!

Sir.

At ease.

I, um, spoke to the SECNAV

concerning your request
to change of designator.

It's in his hands now.

Thank you, sir.

Don't thank me, Commander.

For the record, if you do this,

it'll be the stupidest
thing you've done

since I've been here.

Well, I'm sorry you
feel that way, Admiral.

If you oppose it
so strongly, sir,

why go the SECNAV
in the first place?

I'm afraid I don't have time
for this right now, Commander.

I'm trying to find
your replacement,

unless I can convince
Commander Brumby

to extend the length of
his exchange program.

You're considering
replacing me with Brumby, sir?

Better sooner than later.

Dismissed.

Aye, aye, sir.

I don't think I could
ever thank you enough

for bringing Chloe
and me together, Major.

It was my pleasure, Chief.

I hope you'll continue
to play an important role

in my daughter's life, ma'am.

I wouldn't have it
any other way, Chief.

We're about as close to a family

as three strangers
could be, ma'am.

So, you'd better call me Kyle

from here on in.

Okay, Kyle.

Well, I wish we
could stay longer,

but we've got a plane to catch.

Thanks again, Major.

I'll send you a letter

as soon as I get to
my grandparents'.

You'd better. I will.

And a picture of
me riding a horse.

Cool.

Come on, you.

Be good.

I will.

Bye.

Hello.

Ooh...

Oh.

Mm.

Whew.

Looking for something
specific, Major?

Uh, yeah...

Something with enough
sugar to put me into a coma.

One of your cases
giving you trouble?

Oh, it's not work, sir.

My career is great.

It's my life that sucks.

Would you, uh...
like to talk about it?

Not really, sir.

Well, if there's
anything I can do...

There isn't.

I... I'm sorry...

but... you're one of them.

Excuse me?

Did I say that out loud, sir?

I'm sorry, Admiral.

I meant no offense.

It's just that...

you're a man and, as usual,

most of my... problems
come from... men.

Who might it be this time?

The Commander.

Brumby or Rabb?

Both of them, sir.

Mm...

Thank you.

Thank you, sir.

Oh!

Ow!

Ah-ah, ow, ow, ow-ow-ow, ah, ah.

Ah.

Ow!

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Ow! Ah!

Harriet, wha...?

It's time, sir.

You... you mean it's baby time?

Yes, sir.

Uh...

Can-can you get up?

Easy.

Ow.

Okay, here, put your
arm around my waist.

There you go.

We have to stop
meeting like this, Harriet.

People are going to talk.

Don't make me laugh, sir.

I'm going to drop it right here.

Ow!

Don't even kid like that, okay?

Who's kidding? Ahh!

Tiner.

Sir.

Get Lieutenant
Roberts on the double.

Yes, sir.

Sit.

Can I get you anything?

You don't have an
epidural in your desk,

do you, sir?

Uh, okay, hang in there,

and, uh...

Lieutenant Roberts
will be here soon,

and he'll get you to
the hospital in no time.

Lieutenant, she's in labor.

Yes, Petty Officer
Tiner, she is,

but we have
everything under control.

No, sir, not her.

I mean, she looks like

she's in labor, too,

but it's Lieutenant
Sims. Harriet?

Harriet's in labor?

My wife's in
labor. I gotta, uh...

Are you going to be okay here?

We'll be fine.

'Cause I gotta... Go!

Go!

Good luck, Staff
Sergeant Morris!

You, too, Lieutenant.

Ahh! Ooh...

Harriet?

Are you in labor?

That's a big 10-4,
Major. Where's Bud?

Harriet?

Are you having a contraction?

That was, uh...

Wow. That can't be right.

Your contractions
are too long, sweetie.

Tell that to my uterus.

How, how far apart...?

Are you having
another contraction?

This isn't supposed
to happen like this.

So sue me.

Has your water broken?

Yes, sir. I think so, sir.

I'm going to go get
the van, sweetie.

Oh, hey, hey...

Sorry, it's an emergency.

I'm still working on that.

Come on, come on, come on.

Oh, no.

Harriet!

Ahh!

She's having
double-peaked contractions.

The elevator's not working.

She's never going

to make it down the stairs.

I'll call an ambulance.

Okay, who's your doctor?

Dr. Bradley at Banneker.

555-0110.

I'll call him.

Tiner, stay with her.

Just breathe, ma'am.

You got to get me out of here!

I'm having a baby!

There'll be an ambulance
here any minute.

I think I need to lie down, sir.

Let's put her in
the Admiral's office.

Tiner, see if you
can find a blanket

and something for her
to lie down on, will you?

Aye, sir.

What can we do to make
you feel better, Harriet?

Shoot me.

Right here.

Okay, hold her.

Okay.

Okay.

All right, easy.

Oh, man!

You okay?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Okay. Be right back.

What?

Okay, the doctor said that
she skipped right through

the first stage of labor,
and went into the second.

That's why her labor's so hard.

That's our Harriet...
Always the overachiever.

What's all the commotion?

Harriet's gone into labor.

Give them hell, Lieutenant.

What if she starts
to have the baby

before the ambulance gets here?

She won't.

Yeah, but if she does,
you know what to do.

You've delivered babies
before, right? Baby.

Baby... one.

But the fact is, you've done it.

Mac, it's something I did once.

I don't want to do it
again if I can help it.

I'll do it.

You've delivered a baby?

Yeah. It's a piece of cake.

Delivered dozens of
them back home in Oz.

Sort of comes with
living in the outback.

Really? You ever deliver one

in a hospital
full of terrorists?

MacKENZIE: I'll get out

the measuring stick later, boys.

Harm, go get Bud.
Brumby, you're with me.

Been waiting to hear that.

All right, Harriet, you're
in good hands now.

Commander Brumby's
delivered babies before.

That's right, Lieutenant.

Now don't you fret.

Mother Nature
usually sees everything

goes off without a hitch.

And when it doesn't, we're
here to give her a hand.

Just relax. Breathe.

It's not a breech, is it?

Breech?

God, I hope not.

Well, no worries if it is.

You see, the key is to get
a rope around their feet.

A rope?

I don't want a rope
around my feet.

Not yours,
Lieutenant, the baby's.

But don't worry.

I once delivered

eight kids in six hours.

And one of them

had two heads.

I mean, that's more common
in sheep than humans.

Out!

What? Did I say something wrong?

Good-bye, Dr. Dolittle.

Here, Lieutenant.

This will help
you breathe easier

and take some of
the edge off the pain.

My grandmother was a midwife.

My mom had my brothers
and sisters at home.

Where's Bud?

I need him here.

I know, Harm went
to get him, sweetie.

You're in good hands, okay?

I know it's difficult, ma'am.

But just try and relax.

I'm just going to
take a quick peek

and see how far along you are.

Okay.

What is it?

What's the matter?

It's crowning.

I-I can see its head.

That's a good thing, right?

That's a good
thing, Petty Officer?

Tiner!

MacKENZIE: Hey, where's Bud?

I can't find him.

How's she doing?

Everything's under control.

It was.

Tiner?

Hey, you all right?

He fainted.

No, I didn't.

Like a schoolgirl.

Petty Officer Tiner,
why don't you go outside

and get some fresh air.

Hello.

Yeah, just a second.

Harriet, it's for you.

Me?

Hello?

Bud, where the hell are you?!

I got stuck in the elevator.

I know, I know, Harriet.

I just wasn't thinking.

Just-just keep breathing.

Okay, where is the ambulance?

I don't know, but it
should be here by now.

I need to push.

No.

Don't push.

No.

No.

Harriet?

Harriet?

Ow!

Hang on, Harriet, I'm coming!

Is the ambulance here yet? No.

Has anyone seen the EMT crew?

No word on that, ma'am.

Excuse me, Colonel, Commander,

as soon as the
ambulance gets here,

would you send them
right to the Admiral's office?

The ambulance just left with
Staff Sergeant Morris, Major.

Who is Staff Sergeant Morris?

She was a witness.

She was in labor.

They took the
wrong pregnant lady.

Somebody open the door!

Bud?

Open it up. Okay.

You've got to get
me out of here!

I need to get out of
here now! Come on!

Oh!

What the hell?

Admiral.

I can explain, sir.

I don't think that's
going to be necessary.

There's an ambulance

on the way, sir.

Whoa!

There'd better be room for two.

I can't do this.

Oh, sure you can,
the hard part's over.

Hand me the bag, Rabb.

No, it hurts too much.

Now. I want you to look at Harm.

Focus on his face.

Breathe with her.

Good. Okay, on
this next contraction,

I want you to push as
hard as you can, okay?

Push! You can do it, Harriet.

Good one! That's
a good one, Harriet!

Yeah, that's great!

Keep breathing.

Hey, his head's out.

You want to feel it?

No!

Okay, okay, now,
this next contraction's

real important, Harriet, okay?

We need to get his shoulders

all the way out.

I can't do this anymore!

You can do it, Harriet.

This is it. No!

It hurts too much!

Come on.

Breathe.

Harriet?

Bud!

Oh, Bud!

Bud, hand me a towel.

Give me your shoelaces.

Sir?

I need to tie off
the umbilical cord.

Ooh!

Breathe, breathe.

Give me a towel.

Breathe.

Come on! Come on, Lieutenant!

Push! That's an order!

Ahh... ow!

Ow! Bud, put a
towel on my shoulder.

Put a towel on my shoulder.

Left shoulder. Left.

Cover the medals.

Here we go. Here we go.

Okay, okay.

That's good. That's good.

Oh, yeah, Buddy. There you go.

Take the string out of my mouth.

Tie it right above my fingers.

Here you go.

All right, cut the string.

Go up six inches...

Tie it again.

Okay, now cut.
Cut it right between.

Good.

Now, now get another towel.

Get another towel.

Here you go. Put your
knees down, darling.

Here we go. Congratulations,
Bud and Harriet.

Looks like you have
a healthy baby boy.

Nice work, Lieutenant.

You did it, Harriet.

Thank you. Thank all of you.

We have a son.

I'm a daddy.

Welcome to the club, Lieutenant.

Let's take it in. Here we go.

Careful with them.

That's my son.

In, one, two, three.

Quite a day, huh, sir?

Yep.

Never a dull moment
around this place.

You okay?

Every time I think I've put
the pieces of my life together

somebody comes along
and jumbles them back up.

Everybody who's ever
meant anything to me

is leaving my life.

You'll be okay, Mac.

You'll get to see Chloe again.

One day, you'll have
kids of your own.

Yeah? Not at this rate.

My biological clock is going off

and I keep hitting
the snooze button.

Ha.

Tell you what.

Five years from this moment,

if neither of us is
in a relationship,

we'll go halves on a kid.

You and me?

Have a baby together?

With your looks and my brains,

he'll be perfect.

And what if she has
your looks and my brains?

That could work, too.

So what do you say?

Deal?

Don't make a promise
you can't keep.

I haven't yet.