Inspector Gadget (1983–1986): Season 1, Episode 8 - Haunted Castle - full transcript

Dr. Claw tries to sabotage a crime fighter's convention held at Count Dracula's home in Transylvania.

[SIREN]

- ♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

♪ HOO-HOO

♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

[EXPLOSION]
♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

♪ HOO-HOO

♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

♪ GO, GADGET, GO

♪ GO, GADGET, GO

♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

♪ HOO-HOO



♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

- SO THIS IS TRANSYLVANIA.

- YES, PENNY, TRANSYLVANIA,

HOME OF THE LEGENDARY
COUNT DRACULA

AND OTHER GHOSTS,
GOBLINS, AND SPOOKS.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH BRAIN, PENNY?

- I THINK HE BELIEVES IN GHOSTS.
DON'T YOU, BRAIN?

- BOO!

- REOWW!

- SORRY, BRAIN.
I COULDN'T RESIST THAT.

[BRAIN GROWLING]

THESE ROADS ARE
AN ABSOLUTE MENACE.

GO, GO, GADGETMOBILE.

- HA HA HA HA!



HA HA HA HA!

THIS NASTY
TRANSYLVANIAN ATMOSPHERE

IS GOOD FOR MY HEALTH.

OUR FRIEND
INSPECTOR GADGET APPROACHES.

YOU KNOW WHAT MUST BE DONE.

- THERE.

THAT OUGHT TO HOLD YOU.

- HMM, LOOKS LIKE
A BORDER CROSSING AHEAD.

- GRR!

- GOOD EVENING.

[BRAIN'S TEETH CHATTERING]

- THAT BORDER GUARD
LOOKS A LOT LIKE COUNT DRACULA.

- OH, YES, OF COURSE, PENNY.

THEY DO IT ALL FOR
THE TOURISTS HERE.

- [EUROPEAN ACCENT]
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

- I'M GOING TO
A LAW-ENFORCEMENT CONVENTION

UP IN YOUR BEAUTIFUL MOUNTAINS.

- [REGULAR VOICE]
IS THAT SO?

EHH, I MEAN, UM...

[EUROPEAN ACCENT]
HOW INTERESTING.

- UNCLE GADGET, LOOK.

[MAN GRUNTING]

- VERY ENTERTAINING LITTLE SHOW
FOR THE TOURISTS.

VERY SCARY, EH, BRAIN?

- WE DO IT ALL FOR YOU.

HAVE NICE VISIT.

- WHILE I'M AT THE CONVENTION,

YOU'LL BE ABLE TO ENJOY THIS
SPECTACULAR SCENERY.

- I CAN'T SEE A THING.

- AS A MATTER OF FACT, PENNY,
NEITHER CAN I.

ONLY ONE WAY TO FIX THAT.

A LITTLE GADGET FIREWORKS
SHOULD DO THE TRICK.

- I THINK I LIKED IT
BETTER WITH THE FOG.

- LET'S SEE...

THE SCREAMING TUNNEL...
BAT WING PEAK...

THE SKELETON PASS...

WE SHOULD BE
RIGHT...THERE.

- [CAW CAW]

- THE SKULL INN.

- IS THIS WHERE THEY'RE
HAVING THE CRIME FIGHTING
CONFERENCE?

- YOU KNOW HOW IT IS WITH
THE CHIEF. HE LOVES HIS SECRECY.

[BRAIN GRINDING TEETH]

- I MUST SAY, PENNY, THEY'VE
GONE TO GREAT EXPENSE

TO GET THE SPOOKY
ATMOSPHERE JUST RIGHT.

ANY OF THE OTHER
INSPECTORS HERE YET?

[BRAIN WHIMPERS]

HEY, CHIEF! GREAT DISGUISE!

[BRAIN'S TEETH CHATTER]

- WHEW!

- WERE YOU FOLLOWED?

- [LAUGHS] WERE WE FOLLOWED?
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

THE CHIEF INVITES ME
TO A MOUNTAIN RESORT

IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE,
AND HE ASKS ME IF--WHOA!

- THIS IS SERIOUS, GADGET.

A FEW HOURS FROM NOW,
LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS
FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD

WILL BE HAVING
A SECRET CONFERENCE HERE.
YOU SEE THAT CASTLE?

THAT'S COUNT DRACULA'S
FORMER HOME.

- RIGHT. I SAW IT MENTIONED
HERE IN THE TOURIST BROCHURE.

"VISIT COUNT DRACULA'S
HAUNTED CASTLE."

- LATELY, THE VILLAGERS HAVE
BEEN HEARING VOICES UP THERE.

- CHIEF, THESE
LOCAL SUPERSTITIONS
ARE UTTERLY RIDICULOUS.

- READ THAT.

- "DR. CLAW
PLANNING TO SABOTAGE LAW
ENFORCEMENT CONVENTION.

"SUSPECT HE'S
IN DRACULA'S CASTLE.

"YOUR MISSION
IS TO GET CLAW BEFORE
HE GETS THE CONVENTION.

THIS MESSAGE
WILL SELF-DESTRUCT."

DON'T WORRY, CHIEF.
I'M ALWAYS ON DUTY.

- OH!

[EXPLOSION]

OHHHH...

- SO, GADGET, I'LL
SHOW YOU SOME SIGHTS...

YOUR LAST! HA HA HA!

- [MEOW]

[M.A.D. CAT CHUCKLING]

- DR. CLAW WOULD NEVER
USE THIS PLACE AS A HIDEOUT.

- WHY NOT?

- WELL, FOR ONE THING, IT'S
TOO OBVIOUS.

- COMPANY APPROACHES.

TIME TO LAY OUT
MY WELCOME MAT.

HA HA HA!

HIT THE BUTTON,
M.A.D. CAT.

- OH, UNCLE GADGET,
LOOK OUT! THE ROAD!

- JUST A ROUGH PATCH, PENNY.

WE'LL BE OVER IT IN JUST
A MOMENT.

THESE COUNTRY ROADS.

- OH, NO!

- WITH THE GADGETMOBILE,

EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE
IN FIVE MINUTES.

YIPE!

- UNCLE GADGET!

- I'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE.

HMM.

- WHOA!

- GO, GO, GADGET ARM!

- UNCLE GADGET, PLEASE!

- GO, GO, GADGET ARM!

OOF!

- UNCLE GADGET, HURRY!

- GO, GO, GADGET ARM!

- WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO,
UNCLE GADGET?

- I'M GOING TO PHONE
THE TOURIST BUREAU

AND COMPLAIN ABOUT
THESE ROADS.

- [CAW CAW]

- RUH-OH!

- COME ON, BRAIN.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU TWO ANYWAY?

- HE'S AFRAID OF GHOSTS.

- WELL, THIS IS A WONDERFUL
OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU

TO GET OVER THOSE
SILLY SUPERSTITIONS.

YOU SEE?
NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF HERE.

I WONDER
WHERE THE TOUR GUIDE IS.

- HEH HEH HEH HEH!

- WHAT'S THAT SOUND?

[BRAIN'S TEETH CHATTERING]

- YIPE! AAH!

- GET A HOLD
OF YOURSELF, BRAIN!

YOU COULD GIVE SOMEONE
A TERRIBLE HEADACHE.

- FRIGHTENED, MY FRIENDS?
HEH HEH HEH! HA HA!

IS EVERYTHING READY?

- I'M SCARED, TOO, DR. CLAW.

I'VE BEEN HEARING NOISES
IN THIS PLACE ALL MORNING.

- ENOUGH! OOH!

YOU'RE AS BAD
AS THAT LITTLE GIRL AND HER DOG!

SET THE PLAN IN MOTION!

- I KEEP FEELING
SOMEONE IS WATCHING US.

SOMEONE OR SOMETHING.

- NONSENSE, PENNY.
YOUR IMAGINATION
IS PLAYING TRICKS ON YOU.

BUT JUST TO REASSURE YOU,
LET'S GO AND CHECK
ALL THE CLOSETS.

- HEH HEH HEH!

- OK, BUT DON'T GET
TOO FAR AHEAD OF ME.

[SINISTER LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

- HMM. THIS DOOR
SEEMS TO BE LOCKED.

LET ME SEE HERE.

- DON'T, UNCLE GADGET.

- NONSENSE, PENNY. IT'S PROBABLY
JUST LOCKED BY MISTAKE.

MY GADGET SKELETON KEY
WILL UNLOCK IT IN A SNAP.

[RAIN AND THUNDER]

SEE? SO MUCH FOR GHOSTS.

SOME CARELESS PERSON
HAS LEFT THE WINDOW OPEN.

- AAH! OOH!

OOF!

[BRAIN SCREAMS]

- I KNOW YOU'RE
FRIGHTENED, BRAIN,

BUT TRY NOT TO BE SO CLUMSY.

THESE ARE PROBABLY PRICELESS
FAKE ARTIFACTS.

- COME UPSTAIRS
FOR A LITTLE VISIT.

THAT'S JUST WHERE I WANT YOU.

HO HO HO HO HO! HA HA!

HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!

- I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT,
UNCLE GADGET.

ALL THAT STUFF ABOUT GHOSTS
IS JUST SUPERSTITION.

- PRECISELY, PENNY.

AND THAT STUFF
ABOUT M.A.D. AGENTS

USING THIS PLACE AS
A HIDEOUT IS PREPOSTEROUS.

[WHISTLING]

- AAH!

- WILL YOU STOP THAT, BRAIN?

- WHAT NEXT?

- I'M NOT SURE, PENNY.

- WE'VE GOT TO FIND A WAY
TO SEPARATE THEM, M.A.D. CAT.

- MEOW!

- REALLY? YOU DON'T THINK
THAT'S TOO OBVIOUS?

QUITE RIGHT.

INSPECTOR GADGET
LOVES SIMPLE CLUES.

- WOWSERS!

HMM, AN OLD TENNIS BALL.

MUST BE AN OLD
TENNIS COURT UPSTAIRS.
THINK I'LL GO TAKE A LOOK.

- I'M GOING, TOO,
UNCLE GADGET.

- NO, PENNY, I DON'T THINK
THAT WILL BE NECESSARY.

YOU AND BRAIN
CAN WAIT RIGHT HERE.

HMM. LOOKS AS IF THIS LEADS
TO THE TOWER.

FUNNY PLACE
FOR A TENNIS COURT.

- BRAIN, THERE'S SOMETHING FUNNY
GOING ON AROUND HERE.

I'M GOING TO HAVE A LOOK AROUND
THE BASEMENT.

[BRAIN BARKING]

NO. YOU KEEP AN EYE ON
UNCLE GADGET, O.K.?

IF YOU'RE
SO AFRAID OF GHOSTS,

MAYBE YOU'D BETTER DRESS AS ONE
AND THEN THEY WON'T BOTHER YOU.

- UGH.

[GROWLING]

[WOOF]

[TEETH CHATTERING]

- HE'S HEADING UP
THE STAIRS TOWARDS
YOU RIGHT NOW.

IS EVERYTHING READY?

- I'M READY AS SOON AS HE COMES
THROUGH THE DOOR, DR. CLAW.

- A TENNIS BALL WITH
THE M.A.D. INSIGNIA

ROLLS DOWN THESE VERY
STAIRS. COINCIDENCE?

I DON'T THINK SO.

PERHAPS I MIGHT
JUST HAVE STUMBLED

ON THE HEADQUARTERS
OF THEIR TENNIS TEAM.

[BRAIN'S TEETH CHATTERING]

- NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF HERE.

THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS A GHOST.

AND THIS IS JUST A--OHH!

WHAT'S THIS?
A SECRET PASSAGEWAY.

I'D BETTER CALL BRAIN.
[WATCH BEEPS]

PENNY TO BRAIN. COME IN.

BRAIN, I FOUND
A SECRET PASSAGEWAY
IN THE BASEMENT.

GET UNCLE GADGET QUICK
AND--OHH!

- HMM. IT MUST BE
A VERY SMALL TENNIS COURT.

WOWSERS!

AHA! SO THERE ARE M.A.D.
AGENTS HERE AFTER ALL.

ALL RIGHT. YOW!
- YOW!

- UGH.

YAAH!

[CRASH]

- OOF! UH! UH!

[WOOF]

BRAIN, YOU CRAZY CANINE.

FOR A MINUTE, I THOUGHT
YOU WERE A M.A.D. AGENT.

[WOOF WOOF]

WHAT IS IT, BRAIN?

DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT?

BRAIN, WAIT! AAH! OOF!

YAAH! YOW!

[CRASH]

PENNY'S DOWN HERE?

[WOOF]

HMM. LET'S HAVE A LOOK.

- WHAT WERE YOU DOING
IN THE MOAT?

- WELL, UH...WELL, I, UH...

- WHAT HAPPENED TO GADGET?

- WELL, HE--UH, UM,
I DON'T KNOW, SIR.

- YOU DON'T KNOW?!
WHERE IS HE NOW?

- WELL, UH, I'M NOT
SURE, SIR. UH...

- NEVER MIND!

WELL, WELL. FEELING BRAVE,
ARE YOU, GADGET? HEH HEH.

WELL, BY ALL MEANS,

HAVE A LOOK AROUND
OUR CATACOMBS.

I'LL MAKE SURE
YOUR VENTURE ISN'T
TOO UNINTERESTING.

HA HA HA HA HA!

[BRAIN BARKING]

- UNCLE GADGET!
AM I EVER GLAD TO SEE YOU!

- NEVER FEAR. GADGET'S HERE.

HMM. LOOKS LIKE THE KIND OF
PLACE A M.A.D. AGENT MIGHT
LIKE TO HIDE.

- MY MECHANICAL RODENT

WILL TRAP GADGET IN
A BLAZING INFERNO.

HA HA HA HA HA!

- AHA.

GO, GO, GADGET FINGER.

NOW LET'S GET
SOME FRESH AIR.

THIS SMOKE IS BAD
FOR OUR HEALTH.

I THINK
IT'S TIME TO GO BACK UPSTAIRS.

THERE'S NOBODY DOWN HERE.

- SO, GADGET, YOU THINK
YOU'VE ESCAPED.

- EH, DR. CLAW, IT'S KIND
OF SCARY DOWN HERE.

- ENOUGH! SURROUND OUR VISITORS

BEFORE THEY CAN
GET BACK UPSTAIRS.

- HMM, THIS MUST BE
THE WAY UPSTAIRS.

DON'T THESE DOORS
HAVE SECRET BUTTONS?

- YIKES!

- HUH?

[AGENT GROWLING]

[BRAIN SCREAMING]

- WHO-OA!

WE SEEM TO HAVE FALLEN INTO
THE WINE CELLAR, PENNY,

OR PERHAPS THE WINE PRESS.

- YAAH!

- RRARR!

- AHH! GADGET,
I'VE GOT YOU NOW.

- UNCLE GADGET, THE WALLS
ARE CLOSING IN.

[BRAIN YELPS]

UNCLE, PLEASE!

- GO, GO, GADGET ARMS!

[WOOF WOOF]

- AAH!

- GO, GO, GADGET LEGS!

[ALARM]

- UNCLE, LOOK, A SWITCH.

- GO, GO, GADGET HAND!

WE SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT
THE EXTENSION.

[WOOF WOOF WOOF]

- DUH.
- NO! NO!

- WHAT ARE YOU FOOLS DOING?

[LASERS FIRING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- HUH? IT'S GADGET.

THERE MUST BE TROUBLE.
LET'S GO.

[SIRENS]

- HI THERE, BRAIN. WOULD YOU
MIND HITTING THAT SWITCH?

- I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DID IT,
GADGET. NICE WORK.

- YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE
THIS, CHIEF.

I THINK M.A.D. HAD A MINIATURE
TENNIS COURT UP THERE.

- OH? IS THAT SO?

[EXPLOSION]
LOOK!

- GOOD-BYE, GADGET.

YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME.

NEVER!

- OH, UNCLE GADGET,
IT'S LIKE PARADISE UP HERE.

- YES. BUT ONE CARELESS MATCH
COULD TURN IT INTO

A DISASTER AREA. WE MUST BE
VERY CAREFUL WITH FIRE.

- BUT WHAT IF WE WERE CAMPING?
WE'D NEED A FIRE.

- WELL, I'D KEEP THE FIRE
VERY SMALL...

[MACHINE HUMMING]

AND HAVE A BUCKET
OF WATER NEARBY AT ALL TIMES.

- HOW DO YOU MAKE SURE IT'S OUT?

- WHEN NO SMOKE

OR GLOWING COALS ARE VISIBLE,

THEN YOU'RE SAFE TO WALK AWAY.

- I GUESS IT'S MUCH BETTER
TO PLAY IT SAFE.

- RIGHT, PENNY.

IT ONLY TAKES A FEW MINUTES.

A FOREST TAKES A LIFETIME
TO GROW BACK AGAIN.

- ♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

♪ HOO-HOO

♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

♪ GO, GADGET, GO

♪ GO, GADGET, GO

♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

♪ HOO-HOO

♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

- I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME,
GADGET.

NEXT TIME!

[M.A.D. CAT SCREECHES]