Inspector Gadget (1983–1986): Season 1, Episode 13 - Movie Set - full transcript

[SIREN]

- ♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

♪ HOO-HOO

♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

[EXPLOSION]
♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

♪ HOO-HOO

♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

♪ GO, GADGET, GO

♪ GO, GADGET, GO

♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

♪ HOO-HOO



♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

- YIKES!

OH, THE FARTHER FROM GADGET,
THE SAFER.

AH, HERE COMES GADGET NOW.

- I'M TOTALLY BAFFLED, PENNY.

WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD THE CHIEF
WANT TO MEET ME AT THE TOP

OF LOOK OUT PEAK?

HE'S SCARED TO DEATH OF HEIGHTS.

- I DON'T KNOW,
UNCLE. WHAT DID HE SAY?

- WELL, HE DID SAY THAT TO
DELIVER THIS MESSAGE,

THERE WOULD HAVE TO BE LOTS OF
WIDE-OPEN SPACES BETWEEN US.

I WONDER WHERE HE IS.

- UNCLE, DON'T MOVE!

- DUTY CALLS, PENNY.
AND AS I ALWAYS SAY,



WOWSERS! YOW!

- I THINK YOU'D BETTER GET OUT
THIS SIDE WITH US.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

- THAT MUST BE THE CHIEF NOW.

IS THAT YOU, CHIEF?

[CHIEF SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
ON PHONE]

YOU'RE WHERE?

CHIEF, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GET DOWN THIS INSTANT!

YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T
STAND HEIGHTS.

WHAT'S THIS? A PAPER AIRPLANE
FROM CHIEF QUIMBY?

"NEVER MIND, GADGET. JUST READ.

"A NEW MOVIE IS SHOOTING ON
LOCATION NEAR A TOP SECRET
MILITARY INSTALLATION.

"IT IS SUSPECTED
THAT THE LEADING LADY
IS AN AGENT OF M.A.D.

"YOUR MISSION IS TO MAKE SURE
NO MILITARY SECRETS

"FALL INTO HER HANDS.

THIS MESSAGE
WILL SELF DESTRUCT."

HMM, THAT'S IT.

THE WINGS ON THIS AIRPLANE ARE
TOO FAR BACK.

HA HA HA HA!

JUST A SUGGESTION, CHIEF.

IF YOU'RE GONNA SEND ANY MORE
OF THESE AIR MAIL MESSAGES,

I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND
THIS DESIGN MORE
AERODYNAMICALLY SOUND.

- NO! NO! NO!

- HMM.

"WHY DO I PUT UP WITH YOU?

P.S. HERE IS A PHOTO OF
THE M.A.D. ACTRESS."

LANA L'MOUR?

LANA L'MOUR--
THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS.

I'M ASSIGNED TO KEEP MY EYE
ON LANA L'MOUR.

- UNCLE GADGET!

- GO, GO, GADGET LANA!

UH, NO.

THAT'S GO, GO, GADGET L'MOUR.

UH, NO.

GO, GO, GADGET 'BRELLA.

WHO-OA!

WOWSERS!

AH.

[AWK]

LANA L'MOUR!

[CRASH]

- BRAIN, LOOK, UNCLE GADGET WILL
BE CRUSHED.

UNCLE GADGET, BEHIND YOU!
A LANDSLIDE!

- HUH? "SLIDE"? RIGHT INTO
THE ARMS OF MY PRECIOUS LANA.

GO, GO, GADGET SKATES.

YOW!

AAH!

[SHUDDERS]

COME ALONG, NOW, PENNY.

I SHOULDN'T KEEP
MS. L'MOUR WAITING.

- UNCLE GADGET, AREN'T YOU
FORGETTING YOUR ASSIGNMENT?

- HOW COULD I FORGET?
I'M SUPPOSED TO WATCH...

LANA L'MOUR.

- RIGHT BECAUSE
SHE'S A M.A.D. AGENT.

- THAT'S RIDICULOUS. THERE'S
SOME KIND OF MISTAKE.

LANA L'MOUR DOESN'T HAVE
A M.A.D. BONE IN HER BODY,

AND I'LL PROVE IT.

- WE MUST FIND A WAY TO
PENETRATE THE MISSILE BASE.

YOUR MISSION IS TO PHOTOGRAPH
THE TOP SECRET INSTALLATION.

THIS MAN IS THE STUMBLING BLOCK
TO THE OPERATION.

HIS NAME IS INSPECTOR GADGET.

- HE LOOKS HARMLESS ENOUGH.

[MEOW!]

- DON'T LET
APPEARANCES FOOL YOU.

HE'S A DANGEROUS MAN.

[M.A.D. CAT PURRING]

- I'VE NEVER HAD TROUBLE
WITH MEN BEFORE.

- HEE HEE!

- LANA L'MOUR A M.A.D. AGENT?
PREPOSTEROUS.

THE HONOR IS MINE,
DEAR LADY.

EH, HEH HEH. AH.

[WOLF WHISTLE]

- [AROO]

- A DREAM COME TRUE.

- DO YOU THINK BRAIN AND I
COULD COME ALONG, UNCLE GADGET?

- NO, I'M SORRY, PENNY.

I'LL ALREADY HAVE MY HANDS FULL
WITH LANA--EH--EH--

EH, THAT IS, UH--I MEAN, UH,
IT'S MUCH TOO DANGEROUS.

[CHUCKLES]
WELL...

I'D BETTER BE RUNNING ALONG.

- THIS IS SERIOUS.
UNCLE GADGET'S GONE LOVE CRAZY.

HE'LL BE DEFENSELESS
AGAINST HER. YOU BETTER
FOLLOW HIM, BRAIN.

- IF I GET THIS JOB AS AN EXTRA,
I MIGHT EVEN BE ABLE TO TALK

TO LANA AND STRAIGHTEN
THIS WHOLE MESS OUT.

LANA L'MOUR A M.A.D. AGENT.
RIDICULOUS.

- OH!
- OOH!

[THUD]

- NEXT?
- OH!

- OK. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

- UH, ME? NOTHING AT ALL. IF YOU
DON'T BELIEVE ME,

JUST ASK THESE PEOPLE.

- WHAT PICTURES HAVE YOU BEEN
IN, PICKLE BREATH?

- I BEG YOUR PARDON.

- BUT, LANA, DR. CLAW SAID--

- YOU TAKE CARE OF FILMING
THE INSTALLATION.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF GADGET.

- LOOK, MACK, ALL I WANT TO KNOW
IS WHAT MOVIES YOU'VE BEEN IN.

- NEVER MIND. I'LL TAKE CARE
OF THIS ONE MYSELF.

- WHATEVER YOU SAY, MS. L'MOUR.

"MS. L'MOUR"?

WOWSERS!

- LOOK AT THAT FACE. TODAY IS
YOUR LUCKY DAY.

I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU A STAR.

- LANA L'MOUR? A STAR? ME?

- MEET ME AT MY TRAILER IN
5 MINUTES.

- HMM, THIS IS MY CHANCE TO
FIND THE REAL M.A.D. AGENTS
AND PROVE LANA'S INNOCENCE.

MS. L'MOUR, IT'S ME...
[KNOCK KNOCK]

THE FACE.

- ENTRE.

- ENTRY?

THAT MEANS "COME IN."

[CRASH]

OH. I THOUGHT WE WOULD BE ALONE.

- WE WILL BE...LATER. RIGHT NOW,
THE BOYS ARE HERE TO FIT YOU

FOR YOUR COSTUME.

- OW! THAT SMARTS.

- YOW!

- BOYS.

- OW!
- OW!

- BOYS!

THERE. HOW'S THAT?

- DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING
IN POLYESTER?

- HMM, THE FIT IS EXCELLENT.

I THINK YOU LOOK FABULOUS IN
STEEL.

[STEAM WHOOSHING]

- EW.

- TILL WE MEET AGAIN, MY SWEET.

[BLOWS KISS]

- AND YOU, MY PRECIOUS JEWEL.

MWAH.

- BLECH.

- YES, BRAIN?

[BRAIN BARKING]

WHAT?!

[HORN PLAYING]

[BRAIN IMITATING MAN SIGHING]

IT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD. I'LL BE
THERE AS SOON AS I CAN.

- SO IS EVERYTHING READY?

- WE'RE GONNA GET SOME GREAT
PICTURES. HA HA!

- SHH! JUST START FILMING.

- SO, MY FRIEND, LANA THINKS
YOU HAVE TALENT, YES?

- UH, I'M NO EXPERT,
BUT SHOULDN'T THE CAMERA
BE POINTED AT ME?

- OF COURSE. FORGIVE ME.
EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.

- SO THAT'S LANA L'MOUR.
SHE DOESN'T LOOK SO GREAT.

- BUT THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE.
LANA, I INSIST.

WE MUST DO AWAY WITH
THIS GADGET PERSON AT ONCE.

- SOMEHOW I HAVE TO WARN
UNCLE GADGET!

[CLANGING]

- SO A LITTLE GIRL SPY.

WHOA!

WE HAVE WAYS TO TAKE CARE OF
LITTLE GIRL SPIES. HA HA HA!

- QUIET ON THE SET.
LET'S MAKE A MOVIE!

ARE YOU READY, MY FRIEND?

- ALWAYS ON DUTY, SIR.

- IN THIS SCENE, YOU MUST DEFEAT
THE BLACK KNIGHT.

- WOWSERS.

- TO WIN THE FAIR LADY'S HEART,
A JOUST.

THIS WILL BE THE BLACK KNIGHT'S
HORSE.

AND HERE'S YOURS.

- HEE-HAW!

- THAT'S FAIR. I DON'T LIKE
HEIGHTS.

[FANFARE]

- BY THE WAY,
HERE'S YOUR WEAPON.

READY ON THE SET?!

- READY, SIR. HEH HEH!

- I WILL BE YOUR HERO,
MY PRINCESS.

[MWAH]

- I SAID SILENCE!

- [ARF]

["CHARGE" PLAYING]

[NEIGHING]

- COME ON! HURRY UP! LET'S GO.

HEY, I DIDN'T HAVE MY BREAKFAST
EITHER. THIS CAN WAIT.

[BRAIN CHUCKLES]

["CHARGE" PLAYS]

[HEE-HAW! HEE-HAW!]

WHOA!

HEY, CUT! CUT!
- NO, NO! ACTION. ACTION.

NO!
[CRASHING]

- OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

- PLACES, EVERYONE.

[KNIGHT GROWLING]

NOW, IN THIS SCENE,
IT'S HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT.

- NOW THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.
MAY THE BEST KNIGHT WIN.

OH, MY PRINCESS.

[BLACK KNIGHT GROWLS]

NO, NO. I'M SUPPOSED TO WIN,
BUT ONLY AFTER A FIGHT.

ALLOW ME.

- [GRR]

- OOPS.

- NO, NO, NO! BRING OUT
THE GIRL NOW.

- SHE'S READY, BOSS.

- HA HA! GOOD.

WARM UP THE FLAMING DRAGON.

ARE YOU READY? IN THIS SCENE,
YOU MUST SAVE THE MAIDEN

FROM THE FLAMING DRAGON.

[CHUCKLES]

HERE'S YOUR LANCE.

POSITIONS.

[BRAIN WHIMPERS]

- HOLD IT!

WHERE'S LANA? THIS ISN'T LANA?

[MUFFLED SPEECH]

- COME, NOW, MY FRIEND.
THIS IS LANA'S DOUBLE.

LANA HAS HAD A VERY TRYING DAY.
SHE'S RESTING.

MAY WE BEGIN NOW?

- OH, OF COURSE. FORGIVE ME.

- THANK YOU. PLACES, PLEASE.
ROLL 'EM!

- BRAIN!

[PENNY SCREAMS]

- [BARKING EXCITEDLY]

- I'M AWFULLY SORRY.
ARE YOU HURT?

I'M AFRAID I COULDN'T SEE YOU
WITH THIS--OOPS!

[GROWLING NOISES]

- CUT, CUT! WHERE'S THAT GIRL?

- SHE'S RUN OFF, BOSS.

- WELL, FIND HER.

- DID YOU GET WHAT YOU WANTED?

- NOT ENTIRELY.

- REALLY? I THOUGHT IT WENT
QUITE WELL.

- THAT WAS QUICK THINKING,
BRAIN. YOU DID A WONDERFUL JOB.

- [RUFF!]

- OH!
- [ARF!]

- OH, GOSH. THAT'S THE MILITARY
INSTALLATION.

I THINK IT'S TIME TO FIND OUT

WHAT KIND OF MOVIE THEY'RE
SHOOTING.

- YES, WE DID FAIL. BUT IF
YOU GIVE US ONE MORE CHANCE--

- ONE LAST CHANCE,
MY DEAR, BUT IF YOU FAIL,

YOU'LL PAY, DARLING.

- I HAVE THE MOST TERRIBLE TRAP
FOR HIM--ME.

- TODAY WILL BE YOUR END,
GADGET, OR MINE.

- [WHISTLING]

LANA, MY SWEET, IT IS I,
YOUR HANDSOME KNIGHT.

- [DEADPAN]
OH, MY HERO.
IS THAT YOU?

- SHE CALLED ME HER HERO.
HEE HEE!

YOW! YOW! YOW!

- I WAS AWAITING YOU.

- HEY!
- HEY! WHOA!

AAH. HOW ABOUT TAKING ME BACK
TO MY TRAILER

FOR SOME COCOA?

- NO PROBLEM.

[BRAIN BARKS]

[CRASH]

BOY, LANA, I COULD REALLY USE
THAT COCOA NOW.

[DR. CLAW CHUCKLING SINISTERLY]

- WELL, MY SWEET, THIS DOESN'T
LOOK PROMISING.

- HMM.

BLANK! THEY'RE ALL BLANK.
THEY MUST BE KEEPING
THE FILM SOMEWHERE ELSE.

[TWIG SNAPS]

UH-OH.

- I THOUGHT I SAW
A LIGHT IN HERE.

- THE BOSS WANTS TO SEE TODAY'S
FILM. NOW COME ON.

- OH.

- READY, BOSS?

- THAT'S THE ARTILLERY SUPPLY.
THAT'S THE ARMORY.

THAT'S GADGET.

GADGET?

- I'D BETTER CALL CHIEF QUIMBY.

MESSAGE FROM INSPECTOR GADGET.
THEY HAVE THE FILM.

MOVE IN ALL UNITS AT ONCE.

- OH, INSPECTOR, YOU WERE
WONDERFUL TODAY.

- HERE. LET ME GIVE YOU
A HAND WITH THAT.

AHEM, AHEM.

- MY, YOU ARE A HANDY MAN.

[GADGET CHUCKLES]

- I'VE GOT A MILLION OF THEM.

[TWEET!]

I'VE GOT A SPOON IN HERE
SOMEWHERE.

POOR KID. SHE MUST BE EXHAUSTED.

- YOU! GET YOUR COSTUME ON.

AND BE ON THE SET IN 5 MINUTES.

THIS IS NO BUSINESS FOR--
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO LANA?

ARE YOU STILL HERE?

- HMM. SOMETHING'S UP.
I'LL DO WHAT HE SAYS,

BUT I'D BETTER KEEP
MY EYES OPEN.

- DR. CLAW HAS GIVEN ME
THE FINAL SCENE--

THE DESTRUCTION OF
THAT BIONIC BOOB.

SO YOU LIKE ACTION, MY FRIEND.

- LOVE IT. ABSOLUTELY.

- LISTEN CAREFULLY. THIS SCENE
IS THE KEY TO THE MOVIE.

YOU MUST JUMP FROM THIS PARAPET
TO THAT PARAPET.

- THAT LOOKS AWFULLY RISKY.

- NONSENSE, MY FRIEND.

RIGHT. ACTION!

- YOW!

YAAH! GO, GO,
GADGET RAINCOAT!

AAH!

[ALL YELLING]

- GADGET, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

- WELL, DID I GET THE PART?

- GET THE PART?
YOU STOLE THE SHOW.

GADGET, YOU'RE REALLY SOMETHING.

- THANKS, CHIEF,
BUT NO PICTURES PLEASE.

- YOU DO ANYTHING YOU WANT.
YOU'VE EARNED IT.

- I'LL MAKE YOU PAY, GADGET,
SOMEDAY SOON.

YOU'LL PAY!

[M.A.D. CAT SCREECHES]

- NOW TO GET OUT OF
THIS--YAARGH--

CAST-IRON--UGH--KIMONO.

- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT,
UNCLE GADGET?

- "ALL RIGHT"? I'M FINE,
JUST FINE.

- YOU TOOK AN AWFUL
FALL OUT THERE.

- LET'S JUST SAY I LEARNED
MY LESSON.

I SHOULD HAVE CHECKED THAT ROPE
MYSELF.

- BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

SOMEONE CUT THE ROPE.

- WHO WOULD DO THAT? THEY SEEMED
SO FRIENDLY.

- HUH?

[PENNY AND BRAIN LAUGHING]

- ♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

♪ HOO-HOO

♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

♪ GO, GADGET, GO

♪ GO, GADGET,
GO ♪

♪ INSPECTOR
GADGET ♪

♪ HOO-HOO

♪ INSPECTOR GADGET

- I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME,
GADGET.

NEXT TIME!

[M.A.D. CAT SCREECHES]