Insecure (2016–…): Season 5, Episode 7 - Chillin', Okay?! - full transcript

"You and I"
by Jakob Ogawa playing...

♪ Close your eyes ♪

♪ Let it flow inside ♪

Hey! Okay, ladies.

I see y'all
with the casual slay.

Damn, Tiff, how'd you get
the whole collection?

The perks of being
well-connected.

She don't know nobody.

She paid a 200%
markup on StockX.

Hater.

Okay, so I have
a full evening planned.



First, our group
massage at 5 P.M.

And next, we have dinner
reservations at Nueva at 8 P.M.

But right now?

We pregame
for maximum relaxation.

Mmm!

Molly, you get the nicest
one 'cause you need it the most.

Lowkey, I rerolled it
like 10 times.

All the other ones
are kinda soggy.

I so needed this.

Well, we got
you 'cause today is

all about letting
you decompress.

We are not gonna talk
about your mom at all.

Like I did just now,
but that's the last time.

It won't happen
again after this.



Girl, it's, it's okay.

And for the record, she's
actually doin' much better.

But I am so glad
that we get to do this.

As we should.

I...

- You good?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, okay.

It's in her chest.
It's in her chest.

I agree.

Yay!

♪ Three, two, three, better
blow your mama's teeth out ♪

♪ I chew like I'm Pika,
then I spit like I'm Nina... ♪

Damn, you look good.

I think I got it.

That's not
the sunset.

Y'all said to capture
natural beauty.

I mean... hellur?

Oh, shoot.

Hello?

What?

Nooo!

Really?

Okay, well, thanks
for letting me know.

Uh, bad news.

A pipe burst at the spa,
and everything's canceled.

Damn. I dreamt about
them stones last night.

Let myself get too hopeful.

Well, I got some loose
rocks in the courtyard.

I can just throw 'em in the
microwave real quick, and...

Or we can
just reschedule.

Any weekend...
except my Art Walk.

That's fine, but we still
got three hours till dinner.

Should we just start
drinkin' right now?

Hell yes!

Thank god.

Well, I'm still Cali-sober,

so while y'all do that,

you mind if I polish off

- them soggy joints?
- Oh, I got you.

Hey, hey, hey!

Oh, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.

I have the best idea.

Better
than these soggy joints?

- Ay!
- Oh, shit!

Okay, we see you, DJ.

Ay!

♪ Last night ♪

♪ I couldn't even
get an answer ♪

What? C'mon, ay!

What did you try to do?

♪ I tried to call ♪

Ay!

♪ But my pride
wouldn't let me dial ♪

♪ Dial ♪

Okay, girl,
I see you.

♪ ♪

Don't tell me you still
got a subscription to Lids.

I do, but that's not
what this is for.

You guys, clearly I'm suggestin'
we play the best game ever.

Questions in a Hat!

Damn, we haven't
played that in so long.

I'm sayin'!

Look, are you sure we wanna
be playin' this Jumanji-ass game?

You know the power it has.

The last time we played,
shit spun outta control.

I was in my own
personal retrograde.

Stop bein' a scaredy bitch and start
thinkin' of some good-ass questions.

I ain't scared!
A bitch got preguntas.

- Hey, hey.
- Hey!

Hi, handsome.

Hello!

How'd it go last night?
Did he sleep?

Yeah, with his, uh, butt
right up in the air like always.

- You did?
- I'll just get the rest.

Thanks.

Hey, you had your
butt in the air?

I missed you.

I missed you, little
one. Yes, I did.

There were a few more
of these out front.

Oh, I think those are the
extra pieces for my shelf.

You... want me to get it done?

Oh, that's okay. I was gonna
have a friend do it this week.

You sure?
I mean... I'm here.

- I mean, if you have the time.
- Uh, yeah.

- I'm not doin' shit else.
- Join the club.

Thank you, um, come in.

♪ If I'm really on your mind,
show me now ♪

♪ Boy, make me ♪

♪ Boy, make me ♪

- M'kay.
- Okay.

Ooh, okay! "What is an
embarrassing fact about you

that none of us know?"

Oh.

Girl, I ain't
never seen "Love Jones."

- What?!
- I know I told you I had in college,

and now, I'm in too deep.

But we bonded over lovin'
Larenz and everything.

Which one was he?
Is he Love or is he Jones?

I should've known.

Okay, my fact.

I used to start every day

drinkin' two Red Bulls.

You know what? That's
probably why my period stopped

from the time I was 20 to 25.

That or I had
a five-year pregnancy.

Okay, my turn.

So, when I masturbate, which,
I mean, I don't do often,

but when I do,
I still think about...

Derek.

I think of Derek, too,
but you shouldn't.

That's gross.
That's your husband.

- Wait, what?
- Okay.

- Kelli, you pull next.
- Nuh-uh, what's your fact?

The person who pulls
doesn't have to answer.

You know what?
I already know your fact.

- Your titty out, and I'm embarrassed for you.
- From where?

- "Have you ever broken a friend's vase?"
- For real?

- Just tell the truth, Iss.
- That's not what this game is for.

Tell the truth, Issa!

- We're not doin' this again.
- Nope.

Mm, this is a good one.

"If you could only spend
the rest of your life

"with the last person
you slept with,

how would you feel?"

Oh, I'm good.
He was rich.

And I don't mind
bein' a sugar baby.

- What about you, Iss?
- I don't know.

Nathan and I are
kinda up in the air.

Is there
something we don't know?

We got into it.

And he called me inconsistent.

What?! No, you?

- Crazy...
- Wow, really?

- Yeah, you dumb bitch.
- If we're just bein' honest...

The point is, I don't know
where we stand right now.

And ever since he left my...

"I love you" hanging,
things have been weird.

It's pretty clear how
Nathan feels about you.

Is it? 'Cause...

I don't wanna be in a
relationship where I have to guess.

But it is what it is.
Um, I'll start over.

I've done it before.
I'll do it again.

It's fine.

It's starting.

- What's starting?
- The game.

It's got shit
it wants to uncover.

Knock knock...

here it comes.

- Shit!
- What in the hell?!

I thought it was a ghost
again. Remember that time?

- You always think it's a ghost.
- Because it was the last time.

Trina! Hey.

I saw another spider.
You need to tent the buildin'.

I told you
spiders are normal.

They are everywhere.

Oh, you right 'cause I see
a poisonous one right there.

I thought I heard
a bird say somethin'.

A-ha.

Okay.

- Uck!
- What was that? I thought you two were cool.

She thinks I'm a bad
influence on little Benjamin,

but did she ever stop
and think that, maybe,

he was a bad
influence on me?

Okay, let's keep the
party goin', shall we?

Yup.

All right.

"What goes in the bowl first: The milk or the cereal?"

I gotta take this. This is a
work call. Excuse me, guys.

What loser put this in here?

It's obviously both
at the same time.

You know we
need better questions.

Yes!

Stop.

- It was all you.
- She on a work call?

Who dis bitch kiki-in' with?

But thank
you. This is exciting.

I'm proud of us.
All right, bye.

- What?
- Since when does debt law make you bite your lip?

Since it started comin'
out of Taurean's mouth?

Shut up, okay?
We were just excited

because the partners approved
our rebranding proposal.

Aye!

Oh, I found this
in the hat.

"Y'all fuckin'?"

We are not fucking, okay?

But...

it's just like since the retreat,
things have been different.

- Different how?
- Well, he calls to check in on me about my mom.

And then he's been texting about
this project late at night... a lot.

And, you know, he's always
asking what I'm up to.

So, there's definitely
some energy there.

Woo, ooh! It's about to go down.

I love
a workplace romance.

Um, do y'all got
broom closets there?

"Hey, Taurean. Do you
object to these titties?"

"Objection overruled.

How 'bout you gimme some
of that e pluribus anus?"

- Ay!
- Legal, legal, legal.

Y'all are dumb.

But I don't know
what to do. It's like...

we both like
creepin' up to that line,

but neither one of us
wants to cross it.

Should I... give him
the green light?

♪ Give me the green light ♪

- Shut up!
- Okay! Wait, wait, wait.

That's a sign.
I'mma do it.

- Okay, okay.
- Look at my girl goin' after what she wants.

- I love it!
- Me too.

I stan!

Speaking of,
I know what I want.

An appetizer.
I can't wait till dinner.

I need a snack now.

Ooh, you be right, Tiff.
I'm hungry, too.

Yo, nuh-uh.

Don't go too hard, okay,
'cause we got reservations at 8.

♪ I'm checkin' your smile ♪

♪ Workin your back like,
it's goin' out of style ♪

All right, it's done.

- Thank you.
- You know, tell any of your friends

if they need
a shelf built,

I'm booked.

- Oh, someone likes a Dad joke.
- Oh yeah?

Okay, what you eatin',
little man?

It is a carrot
and squash night.

- Not his favorite.
- I thought I smelled a Bolognese.

Oh, that's
my takeout.

You know, I had all these
plans before he got here.

I was gonna make
all our food.

I guess it's just different
when they're here.

Yeah, so different.

Okay, airplane's
comin' in.

Permission to land,
ground control.

Come on.

We are just not
having much luck.

I do the choo-choo train.

You know, way safer.
Keep it on the ground.

- Oh, the choo-choo, huh?
- Yeah, it's in the name, chew-chew.

- Okay, let's see it then.
- Okay.

All right, buddy.
You ready?

Cargo is loaded.

- Chugga, chugga, chugga.
- Come on.

Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga.

Oh, so there's sound
effects?

All aboard!

Yay!

You're really good with him.

You're a really
good dad.

Thanks...
That means a lot.

♪ I don't wanna
waste your time ♪

♪ I don't wanna
take things far ♪

♪ If you don't feel the same ♪

Did you put Doritos
in this cookie dough?

- Cool Ranch.
- It works.

Oof, "If you could
have one do-over..."

One?

"What would it be?"

Mm, we gettin' deep.

Kelli ain't the only one
with good preguntas.

Careful.

You know, even with
everything I've been through?

Nothing.

I feel like Derek and I
went through everything

we went through
to get us where we are.

Or where we will be.

Aw, Tiff.
That's so poetic.

I see you,
For Colored Girl.

For me...

I just...

wish I'd figured out what
I wanted to do sooner.

Mm, well, I literally
had to die to realize

I'm not above
finding a purpose.

I'm worried you don't know
what "literally" means.

I am proud of you, okay?

You gave up drinkin',
you over here meditating...

And the other day,
I discovered walking.

Y'all ever just go on a walk?

- All the time.
- Yeah, Columbus.

We've invited you repeatedly.

But, seriously, I got
clarity about some shit.

Like with my job.

I am done helping
rich white men...

help rich white men
get richer.

- That's it.
- Join the club, Boo.

Dang, Questions in a Hat
is on our necks.

That's the sound of cookies.

Hello! Ha ha!

Ooh, that's
the one I want.

Y'all smell
that Cool Ranch?

Y'all smell it?

All right, let's keep
playin'. You're up.

All right.

"If you had to choose,

"which one
of your friends' exes

would you fuck?"
Who wrote this?

Well, we all know
which one of Issa's exes

- we would wanna fuck.
- Yes, we do.

Personally,
I'mma go with Marshawn.

Marshawn who used
to work at the dinin' hall?

- Yes.
- He did use to pack that extra meat. Mm.

No, bitch!

- Daniel!
- Absolutely. Yes.

That ass? Oh my god.

Y'all really think Daniel is

- the finest man I've been with?
- Yes, bitch!

And stop throwin' it
in all our faces.

Shit, I'm startin' to feel
like Lawrence up in here.

Wow, too soon.
Fuck you.

Nuh-uh.

I actually ran into Lawrence
and Condola at the hospital.

- What?
- And their baby.

- Girl, what happened?
- Nothing happened. It was just odd.

And I knew I'd run
into them eventually.

And of course they got back
together. They have a whole baby.

But I guess I was
just expecting...

to get closure about
everything, but...

Anyway, I saw
he moved back,

and I'm sure they're happy.

The baby seems tall,

so that's just the way it is.

So, they were both
at Simone's birthday.

- Yeah.
- And...

They did not
look great.

It was really tense.

- Really?
- Yeah, so be glad you dodged that bullet, girl.

Yeah, I am. I knew it was
gonna get messy enough,

so I cut it off.
I didn't want that life.

But...

I do feel a little guilty
about how things ended.

I mean...

I loved Lawrence, you know?

And y'all know how hard
it was for me to let him go.

And then...

when the baby was born,
I didn't even reach out.

You made the smart choice.

But why was it
the smart choice?

'Cause she's not tryin'
to be somebody's stepmom.

What'd that look like?

Okay,
I get that, but...

sometimes it's not about
making the smart choice.

It just has to make
sense to you.

And it doesn't have
to be the smart choice

to be the right choice.

Well, your choice was
smart and right, so.

Y'all, we should go get dressed.
It's, it's gettin' late.

Okay.

You think she would
give me Daniel's number?

♪ D-Diego,
B-B-Bankroll Got It ♪

♪ Got 'em like, "mm-hmm,"
pussy too good ♪

♪ Real boss bitch,
need a nigga out the hood ♪

♪ Askin' where I'm at, I'm
in the "wish a bitch would" ♪

♪ Pretty-ass face, but I'm
known for hittin' juggs ♪

♪ Mm-hmm, swipe that card ♪

♪ Ass on fat
and my bag on large ♪

♪ Milkshake bring trap
niggas to the yard ♪

♪ He ain't never leave... ♪

- What.
- Your shoes.

I actually like them.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hm.

Oh, before I forget.

Oh, my earrings!

- Have you had those since El Cholo?
- Mm-hm.

Hold up.

Has it been that long
since we last got together?

Yeah, like three months.

We gotta do better.

Yeah, we can't let
that much time pass

before we get
together again.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

I love y'all.

Come over here, girl.

The fuck I'm cryin' for?

- Derek and I might be moving to Denver.
- Wait, what the fuck?

Denver, Denver?
Like the omelet?

Wait! Tiff?

When did this happen?
Why?!

I mean, this is why
I fuckin' hate this game.

Derek got a job offer
a week and a half ago.

And he's got family there,
and the money can go a long way,

and I, I think
it'll be good for us.

Why you just
now tellin' me?

Because I knew if I told you,
then that would make it real,

and I wasn't ready to face it.

And it's all just
happening so fast.

And I don't know what
I'm gonna do without y'all.

Girl.

Why are you scared?

Because what if we
wanna have more kids?

What if I get depressed again?

Girl, then we will be on
the next flight to Denver.

Listen, if this situation with
my mom taught me anything,

it's that...

you gotta be really intentional
with the people you love.

Gettin' us all together is gonna take
some planning, but we'll make it work.

Yeah.

Dinner's at 8.

Uh, yeah... it's 7:40.

Should we go?

Or we could just... have
another drink here instead.

Yeah.

These are my "goin' out
titties," but they can stay home.

Nah, for me

your sister followin' me
is when I was like,

"Okay, things are good.

- Things are good."
- Oh no. Then I probably

shouldn't tell you that
that was a fuck-up follow.

What?!

Listen, I'mma take my wins
where I can get 'em.

Want help?

You know, I know this last year
has been a lot for both of us, and, uh,

hasn't always felt easy,
or felt good, or...

I don't know, I just, you know,
if things had gone different,

then, you know, he
wouldn't be here, and...

well, he's the best thing
that ever happened to me.

It really makes me happy
to hear you say that.

I just, um...

What?

- Uh, what I...
- No, no, it's just, um...

when I was pregnant,
and, um...

our situation
wasn't good...

I, actually,
thought about, um...

I'm sorry.

You shouldn't feel
bad about that.

Shit was rough,
and... I was an asshole.

- I...
- We both had a learning curve.

And even now, I know
you've given up a lot.

And I don't want you
to be miserable... - I'm not.

All right, and I don't, I
don't blame you for anything.

Okay.

'Cause I want
you to be happy.

I really do.

And, you know, I, um,
I want the same for you, too.

Thanks.

I'll text you later.

♪ ♪

♪ The black dogs are
back with another one ♪

♪ I said the black
dogs are back ♪

Ahh!

♪ ♪

Ay, ay, ay!

♪ I can't say
I don't lust for you ♪

♪ Turn a fuss for you ♪

♪ I'm a must for you, yeah ♪

♪ I can say I got
love for you ♪

♪ But I lied, yeah... ♪

Y'all, we should
text Taurean.

Sometimes men just
need the go-ahead.

- Nuh-uh, and say what?
- I got you.

I'm gon' say, "Hey,
Taurean. I was wondering if..."

"Wondering if you wanna
fuck tonight?" Press send.

- No, Kelli.
- I'm not gon' do it.

"I was wondering if you would
like to go out for a drink sometime?"

I'm just gonna say,
"Hey, Taurean.

"I was wondering if
we could get together

- outside of the office one day?"
- Okay.

"You know, 'cause I do look a lot
different outside my work clothes."

You're so stupid.

Okay, you guys suck.

All right, what about,
what about this?

Nuh-uh, bitch. Why the
fuck is Dro calling you?

Dro?! I don't,
I don't know.

Maybe he's just checkin' up
on me about my mom.

This is the power
of the game.

The exes are upon us,

and the only thing left
to do is to let it happen.

Oh, mm-hm, would
you look at that.

Daniel Kaluuya
just slid in my DMs.

- What?!
- Bitch, you DM'd him.

So what? I was just
gettin' ahead of it.

C'mon, help me
take a tit pic.

I don't wanna
hold 'em again.

Girl, please don't
let her post that.

- Who you callin'?
- Lawrence.

- Girl, no! Why?!
- You heard...

You heard Kelli.

We gotta get ahead of it.
It's the game.

"The game"?

And what was you gonna
say if he picked up?

I don't know.

A lot has happened, and I
felt like we just need to talk.

Girl, you know
I love you, right?

So, remember earlier when you were
talkin' about bein' inconsistent and shit?

You're doin' it.

Like, how is this gon' help?

Look, if sober you wants
to call him tomorrow...

go right ahead.

Um, shit just got real.

I just texted Daniel
Kaluuya your address,

so y'all gonna have
to Queen & Scram.

"Get
Out" was right there, girl.

Bitch, shut the fuck up!

- Love y'all.
- Love you, too.

Call me when
you make it home.

♪ ♪

Uh, hey.

Hey.

So, uh,

yeah, yeah, I wanted
to hit you yesterday,

but I didn't wanna
disturb Girl's Night.

Y'all have a good time?

Yeah, it was good...
Everybody just left.

Cool.

Yeah, so, listen.

I know things have been
a little off with us lately,

and, uh,

I just wanted to say...

Issa, I do love you...

I always have.

Oh.

Okay.

I was kinda just in my
head about it before.

It's not something that
I've ever really said.

Wow.

Well, I'm... I'm sorry for

putting so much pressure
on you about it.

I... definitely
shouldn't have done that.

Nah... nah I was
on some childish shit.

I can be avoidant,
and I need to fix that.

So... you not leavin'?

No.

I'mma figure this shit out.

Okay, good.

Well, call me after work?

I will.

I love you.

I love you, too.

♪ You should be here with me ♪

♪ Givin' me what I need ♪

♪ Won't you come closer ♪

♪ I can't wait
that much longer ♪

♪ If you could only see ♪

You've reached the voicemail
box of Issa Dee.

Please leave a message
after the beep.

♪ I'll go
the distance for you ♪

♪ I'll go the distance
for you ♪

♪ I'll go
the distance for you ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I'll go
the distance for you ♪

♪ I'll go the distance
for you ♪

♪ I'll go
the distance for you ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I just gotta reach you, ooh ♪

♪ I just gotta hold
you now, baby ♪

♪ I just gotta brake
the wall for you, ooh ♪

♪ I need you hurry ♪

♪ Now ♪

♪ I'll go
the distance for you ♪

♪ Yeah, for you ♪

♪ I'll go
the distance for you ♪

♪ I'll go the distance
for you ♪

♪ I'll go
the distance for you ♪

♪ Ooh, I'll go
the distance for you ♪