Insecure (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 3 - Lowkey Thankful - full transcript
- Oh, I know what I'm getting.
- Oh, thank you.
It's weird
that you're still working
with Condola
when she's dating Lawrence.
It's weird but...
it doesn't have to be,
and I'm... I'm fine with it.
I gotta admit, I thought
maybe I scared you away
- when I told you I was divorced.
- No. Nah.
So, is it true?
Dad cheated on Mom?
- They worked through it.
- They worked through it?
- Lower your voice, please.
- Molly, what...
- How could you cheat on Mom?
- He made a mistake.
- I can't. No.
- Honey...
I'm sorry about the other night.
It's just hard for me
to let someone in like that.
It just might take some time.
- I got time.
- Cool.
- Who was that?
- Uh, just some... some work shit.
You stay working.
I've overseen numerous projects
from concept to completion.
I've demonstrated the ability
to turn detailed data analysis
into useful strategic insights
in order to make
the appropriate recommendations
to the Meridian team.
That's why I think...
Wow, okay, it can't be healthy
for you to wake up like this.
It's the only way I'll wake up.
I once slept through
an emergency water landing.
I have follow-up questions,
but I'ma leave it alone for now.
You have time?
- Mmm.
- Aw.
I wish!
But the plumber
is coming to my house
and then I'm heading to my
firm's Thanksgiving "Give Back."
Right.
Look at you,
using your powers for good.
- Stop.
- No, I'm serious.
You doin' big things.
It makes me feel like
I need to step my game up.
You're perfect.
So Thanksgiving. I know you
don't have family here either.
So you wanna do something?
I was gonna hop around.
My boy, Mike,
makes this Hennessy turkey.
It's trash, though.
That sounds fun,
but I'm actually
hosting a little
Friendsgiving at my place.
Oh. Do you want me to come?
Sure. I... didn't
know you'd want to.
Yeah, of course I do.
- Oh, Jesus.
- Wow. I know.
Hey, I have a meeting
with Tim and Cameron.
They ready?
Actually, they just got
pulled into something.
They have to reschedule.
Is everything okay?
Mm-hmm.
Anyway, man, one of
the investors pulled out,
now they're talking about
letting half of the company go.
Man, you gettin' fired already?
Hell no.
There's only three people
on my team
and I'm the only black person
they got.
Oh, shit, you black
and bulletproof.
What's the problem, my guy?
Well, it means that nobody's
getting promoted, man.
I'm supposed to be moving up,
not standing still.
Oh, nigga,
that's not standing still.
I ain't sold a house
in over a month, nigga.
That's standing still.
I'm falling apart.
- Wait, what?
- Earthquakes, nigga. The bubble, bro.
I get to spend more time with Leah,
that's the silver lining.
Speaking of, I finally saw
Silver Linings Playbook.
Whatever happened to Bradley
Cooper? He fell off after Limitless.
If I don't sell a house soon,
I'ma end up like that nigga.
Then why did you buy
a brand new Range?
To keep up appearances,
my nigga.
Wh... for what, man? For who?
Shit, everybody.
Mostly Leah, though.
And other bitches.
You need to upgrade your shit,
by the way.
Stop embarrassing Condola
driving around
in your daddy's old Jaguar.
She doesn't care about
that shit, man. We're good.
Yeah, I know y'all good. That girl
got you on the path and everything.
Meetin' the Fockers and shit.
Bradley should
have been in that.
It's just a Friendsgiving.
Calm down, man.
I just wish there wasn't
always one piece missing, man.
It's like, if it's not
the relationship, it's work.
If it's not work,
then it's some other shit.
You're still doing way better
than you were last year.
You were a bum.
You got money now, man.
Act like it.
You wanna buy a house?
- I'ma hold off on it.
- All right.
Also, for the record,
Bradley Cooper is doing great.
If you say so.
Issa?
- Oh, my God, hey.
- What up?
- How you doin'?
- Good.
What, you watching
Finding I-Kwon?
Yeah, I just took
a little break.
How did I not know
he went missing?
Spoiler alert, they found him.
Oh, that's what we doing?
We spoiling stuff again?
Well, you know in Coming to America,
they went back to Africa.
In Love Don't Cost A Thing,
shit got expensive.
Well, the best man in The Best Man,
he ends up being the worst man.
Okay, well,
in Set It Off, they...
all die except Jada.
I think. Just tried...
- Who died? Jada?
- Yeah.
- No, she's alive.
- Oh.
- Condola, hey.
- Hey.
We were just making jokes
about movies.
Oh.
Funny.
Yeah.
Oh, sorry I stole your spot.
I just love it so much.
The music is so easy to ignore.
They play a lot of Macy Gray.
I hope she's okay, though.
Oh, I'm glad you love
this place.
Oh, I was actually just leaving.
I was just finishing up!
Got a matcha tea latte
and a meatball sub for Issa.
- I just got some food to go.
- Order for here, Issa!
Uh, well, it was so good
to see you guys.
- See ya the next time.
- Oh, you, too.
Kelli:
Happy Thanksgiving week, y'all.
Countdown to Turkey Day.
Okay, I'm here
waitin' on my aunties.
How you gonna miss three
flights in one day?
My family. But...
a little pre-game
ain't never hurt nobody.
Sorry, got to take this. Urgent.
Hello?
Kelli's hosting all her aunties?
- Yup.
- Even the one who...
Yuuuuuup!
How many of these
do you usually use?
- Hmm, about 12.
- For a seven-layer dip?
Do you think you need that many?
Because I avoca-don't.
I probably need more.
My dad inhales the shit.
Oh, so you
and your dad are good.
Hell no. It's just dip.
And I've accepted the fact
that our relationship
won't be the same
and I'm fine with that.
Well, shit, be thankful your
parents don't have new families.
Me and Ahmal gotta celebrate
with Stanley this year.
Your mama still with him?
Delilah love her a project.
And she's obsessed with
gettin' to know his kids.
Like, why can't I just overeat
and binge drink
with my own blood?
Wait, does that mean
you're not coming over
for pie this year?
Oh, bitch, best believe
I'm comin' over, okay?
I'ma eat that pie
all the way out.
I'ma fuck that pie... up.
I'ma fuck that pie up!
You know, I've been going
back and forth with this,
but should I invite Andrew?
I mean, we are exclusive now.
Mm, I don't know, girl.
I mean, y'all only been talking
what, like, two, three months.
You gonna pull an old Molly
and scare his ass away.
- What are you doin'?
- I can't afford all this.
The block party's in two months
and me and Condola
are in the thick of it.
I don't know why
you keep acting like
everything's cool with that.
It is cool.
Matter of fact,
I saw the two of them together yesterday.
What, like on a date?
How was it?
It was all love all around.
Positive vibes, good.
Loose.
I'm glad your little throuple
is a success.
Bitch, you were just in
a throuple with Dro yesterday.
Well, at least I wasn't fuckin'
for free weed and toiletries.
Whoa, okay, what the fuck is up?
- 'Cause that was unnecessary.
- You were coming for me.
And I feel like you've
been coming for me.
- What's going on?
- I don't know, girl.
But the last couple of months,
it just feels like we've been...
Off.
Yeah, I know.
Should we, like, talk this out?
Yeah, definitely.
I got to go check out
a vendor later,
but you wanna just
talk at Thanksgiving?
- Yeah, let's do it around pie time.
- Cool.
It's open.
Gobble, gobble,
I brought a couple bottles!
All right, I will let myself out,
thank you.
No, don't go.
- I was just jokin'.
- I know, so was I.
You dressed up. This is a look.
You know, I wanted to make
a good impression.
Oh, hey, I thought the plumber
came to fix your sink.
He canceled on me.
He showed up and was like,
"Oh, you got a sink sink."
And then left.
I mean, you know, I...
I could try to fix it.
You don't have to do that.
I'll just schedule someone else.
No, it's all good. I got you.
Well, I appreciate that.
I am going to go
and finish my hair,
but there should be some
tools underneath the sink.
- All right, cool.
- Thanks.
- Don't take long.
- I won't.
'Cause I'm quick!
Man: Welcome
to "Fixing Sinks for Playas,"
teaching you
how to lay that pipe.
Now go ahead and grip
your wrench tight.
We 'bout to bust somethin' open.
- Derek: Tiff!
- Tiffany: Hey, daddy.
Derek: This smells crazy.
Gobble the dick,
gobble the dick.
Gotta gobble, turkey,
gobble, ha, ha.
Gobbledy, gobbledy, got turkeys!
- Hey, Mom.
- Hey.
Mwah.
What are they feeding you
at that new law firm?
That booty don't run
in our family.
Carter women are
known for our ankles.
Just say I gained weight.
Dang, ma.
- You ready to make these pies?
- I been ready.
Uh, will you take the skins off
those sweet potatoes
for me, please?
Yep, I just gottta get
another bag out the car,
and don't forget to make
an extra crispy crust for Issa.
Uh-oh, is that Big Head I hear?
Talkin' with her big mouth.
Shut up, ugly.
Hey, so good to see you, sis.
When do I get to try that
famous seven-layer dip?
Your nephew is hungry.
Oh, well, we're about
to make some right now.
You know you still got, like,
three months to jump ship, right?
Why everybody keep sayin' that?
- Molly.
- Hey.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
- Fat Albert.
- Throwback.
- I didn't see you come in.
I was getting some
drinks from out back.
- I got your favorites.
- Aw, Dad, man,
I'm just about to lay off
the sugar, but thanks.
- Hey, Curtis.
- Oh, yoink, sucker.
You dress like
a swap meet mannequin.
I'm gettin' buff, too.
You see me gettin' buff.
Okay, we staying here for
two hours max, then we out.
Bet. Which twin has alopecia?
Keisha. It's so easy.
Keisha, alopecia.
Right. Kassandra
got the big tooth.
Yeah, and if Stanley
starts a sentence with.
"Have I ever told you about?"
just say yes.
- That nigga got way too many anecdotes.
- Too many.
Wait, what the fuck?
Shit, Mom.
No! Oh, wait, never mind.
It's just Stanley.
I can see his neck.
- Oh, thank God.
- Mom!
- Hey.
- Is everything okay?
Yeah, Stanley slipped
on some loose gravy.
It could have been worse,
but Jesus said no.
Amen. That's what's up.
- Sorry, Stanley.
- Thanks, y'all.
Lila, I'm ready.
- Oh!
- Oh, okay, look,
I'm gonna ride
to the hospital with him.
But he's got some family coming
and the twins are coming over.
You should stay for dinner.
Yeah?
- Oh, oh, mmm, bye.
- Bye, I love you.
Stanley: Baby,
did I ever tell you the time
I lost my hearing,
but it came back stronger?
- What? No.
- Yeah.
Mwah, bye, babies.
Stanley: Easy, easy,
easy! God damn.
Easy!
- I don't fuck with adult twins.
- Bet.
This year has just been so busy,
I feel like I haven't
seen you guys.
Thank you for coming.
- Mm-hmm.
- Of course.
And everybody knows not
to miss a Condola joint.
She's party Spike Lee.
So Condola say you're in tech.
So am I.
- What do you do?
- Yeah, I'm in business development for Meridian.
He could also
moonlight as a plumber,
because he fixed
my sink this morning.
I didn't know men
could still fix things.
I know, right? Um, where you at?
I'm a coder over at Hummingbird.
Oh, dope. Yeah,
that's the spot right now.
- Congrats.
- Thanks.
Though Meridian's
going through changes, right?
Yeah, it's just, you know,
a bit of restructuring.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, I just found out.
But my job's safe. I, uh,
I've been thinking about
moving on anyway.
- I'm sure you'll figure it out.
- Thanks.
I'm working on it.
So can I get
you guys anything else?
Oh, yes, tell me where
did you get that shirt?
It's sublime.
All right, so, Isaac,
you wanna fold it like this,
and then like that,
so it looks like a fan.
Got it?
You think you want to try one?
- Yeah.
- I see you're getting your practice in.
How long you gonna make me wait?
Mom, chill.
Well, is there someone
in the picture, at least?
There is. I mean,
we've just been hanging out.
Does he have money?
Don't need you buying lunch
like you used to
with that one boy.
Mom, that was high school
and he wasn't my boyfriend.
- He was my bully.
- What y'all used to do
ain't none of my business.
What's your new man look like?
Okay. Here.
Oh!
- Is he Korean?
- Mom, stop.
- I can't ask questions?
- What y'all doing?
- Checking out Molly's new guy. Look.
- Oh, I want to see it.
Ah, let me see it.
Oh, this is you?
Is he crazy and rich? Oh!
This is why I didn't
wanna say nothing.
You should have brought him.
We would have been
on our best behavior.
You don't think that would
have been too much?
Issa said that might
scare him away.
You know, 'cause it's only
been a couple of months.
Don't you worry about a thing.
If he's right for you,
he won't think you're too much.
Don't overthink it.
Plus, look at your brothers.
They don't overthink nothin'.
Oh, you mad?
Ooh.
- Mm, let me figure this out.
- All right.
Kelli: Back in black,
damn it, y'all!
It's lit up in this house.
Look, look, look.
Okay, that's my auntie Tina
right there.
Okay, that's Kelli Sr.,
she ain't fuckin' around, look.
She ain't fuckin' around.
- We eating, bitch.
- Yeah!
The wait is an hour, though.
You still going to Molly's?
Yeah, I'll just text her
I'm gonna be late.
Okay, I'm going to the bar.
Time for that?
No.
Aw, cute.
No, don't, don't do it.
Don't say it, don't say it.
Okay, say it again.
Beret.
Pascal: What is so funny?
Nikki, you need some water?
You need some water?
- Drunk Nikki?
- Drunk Nikki.
Hey, so, uh,
when is the wedding?
Well, the goal is next year,
but we haven't even
found a venue yet.
Have you looked
in the art galleries?
They're easy to dress and then you
can make them whatever you want.
No, but that's a great idea.
Condola, do you just
wanna plan our wedding?
I'm not interested in planning
a wedding ever again.
Keep me far away
from that aisle.
Actually, just put me
in the overflow section.
Yeah, you know, I get it. I uh,
I never want an s-curl again.
Yo, because I burnt
the shit out of my scalp.
Lawrence, no you didn't!
You burned your scalp?
Coco, you have to plan a funeral now,
'cause I'm fucking dead!
Can't put a beret on that.
Uh, you know what?
Your glass is empty.
Uh, can I get anybody
else some wine?
Nikki: Yes, please!
I'ma follow you so I can look
at the back of your scalp.
Excuse me, croissant.
Ha, ha, whoo!
You know, I'm also wasted.
I just present it differently.
I'm so very drunk right now.
I'm so drunk.
Oh, my god, you are so fun.
Oh, thanks. Yeah, you fun too.
Ah, good for Condola.
You're everything she needed.
- Oh, for real?
- Mmm.
Yeah, how so?
After Mark left her
and they got divorced,
she needed to let loose
and have fun
and get over him.
Keep it casual.
Well, I mean, that's,
that's good to know.
Anyway, I'm glad
she's finally doin' it.
Oh, my gosh, who brings
quiche to Thanksgiving?
Pascal, was that you?
Hey, raspberry beret.
Oh, shit, shit.
Shit.
- Yes!
- Whoo, yes.
Thank you.
Ooh, it's hot. Okay, shit.
What a crazy Thanksgiving.
Not as crazy as the Thanksgiving
where Dad threw the turkey
in the pool.
Talking 'bout he tripped.
Why are things always
falling around Mom?
He did not fall.
He tossed that shit.
Why else would he be outside
with a whole-ass cooked turkey?
- 'Cause Mom was wild back then.
- They both were.
I don't fuck with Stanley,
but Mom and Dad were not happy.
The holidays always sucked.
At least you got to be yourself.
Remember that year I brought
my "roommate," Jordan?
I don't know why
they acted like that.
That long-ass,
pointed-ass prayer.
"Lord, thank you for
your flawless pairings...
Sun and moon, turkey and gravy,
man and woman."
- Magnets, too.
- "I'm talking about everyone, Lord."
No one specific."
Meanwhile, Aunt Ruby
brought a full married man
to Thanksgiving dinner.
Ain't nobody say shit.
Whatever happened to Jordan,
by the way? I liked him.
Jordan was trash.
After him, and even Cody,
I'm just done changing
myself for people.
I'm just gonna be me.
Some nigga's gonna have
to deal with this shit.
I saw Lawrence and his new
girlfriend the other day.
What? What'd you do?
I said hello, uh,
got my shit to-go,
and kept it pushin'.
He looked really happy.
So, you good?
'Cause that would have
activated me. I'm petty.
I mean...
I'd be lying if I said it
didn't bother me a little bit.
We were together for five years.
Yeah, you ain't been
broken up that long.
I know.
But the person he is now is
not the person he was with me.
- What do you mean?
- Like, they were out to lunch,
and I'm pretty sure
he was gonna pay.
Okay, I never got that.
That's true.
Niggas don't be payin'.
Yes!
I don't know, I got
the nigga with potential.
You know, I got
the work-in-progress.
And it took a lot of support
and patience and...
I just...
I feel like...
she's reaping all the benefits
of his time with me.
Damn.
Let me shut up 'cause I know I
don't have a right to feel like that.
No, you have a right to feel
however you wanna feel.
Seriously.
Fuck that nigga.
What? Did you do this?
- No, did you do this?
- Yo, this is kind of tight.
This is fire.
Why is there a Mexican
Thanksgiving song?
I don't know,
but I'm feelin' it!
Okay, let's go, because why?
- Call the family.
- Mm-hmm.
Jerome, you're a mama's boy
so you gonna be on Mom's team.
Which mom? Ha, ha, ha!
I'm just playin'.
That was funny, baby.
And Stupid, as always,
you're on Dad's team.
Oh, you know, we have
an odd number this year.
I should probably
just keep score.
Oh, man, I thought
I was gonna do that.
Oh, you are,
baby. Auntie Molly's just making jokes.
Hey, Molly, can you help me in the
kitchen real quick? I'll be right back.
You know what this sound
means, right?
Misery is what it means.
How long you gonna
drag this out?
- Drag what out?
- You've been weird to Dad
for months now.
It's pretty obvious.
Okay, well, finding out
all that shit about him
really messed me up,
like, a lot.
I mean, you and Mom can pretend
like it didn't happen, but I can't.
What do you mean Mom can
pretend? It happened to her.
I get that, but I just
saw that differently.
You're focusing on the negative.
You keep ignoring the part
where that nigga stayed
and made things right
afterwards.
- Don't call Dad a nigga.
- Dads are niggas too.
Just all grown up.
I'm just sayin',
he a regular-ass dude
who fucked up, he owned it,
and he made it right.
I guess.
Man, can we get
this Taboo going?
I've been trying to play
this shit all fuckin' night.
Is that... I love fucking Taboo.
You know I do. Come on.
Gwen: Are you sure you don't
need any help cleaning up?
Condola: I think we got it.
Thank you for coming.
- Later, y'all.
- You, too.
My friends loved you.
They thought you were hilarious.
Thank you for being
such a great co-host.
Yeah, they're cool.
Thanks for, uh, inviting me.
What?
I mean, you know, technically,
I didn't invite you.
- What?
- I mean, you kind of invited yourself,
but I'm really glad you came.
It was way better with you here.
Wait, you weren't
gonna invite me?
I just didn't wanna pressure
you or feel pressure.
So Drunk Nikki was right.
Oh, God, what did she say?
Well, she basically said
I was your fuck buddy.
- What? She said that?
- Yeah.
Lawrence, I am so sorry.
She is a mess.
Why would she say that?
I don't know. She was drunk.
- But is that how you feel?
- No, of course not.
Okay, it's just...
Look...
I don't know, I just,
I feel like, uh...
like I'm learning
a lot of new shit here.
- Like...?
- Like...
I didn't know you didn't
want a family.
- I never said that.
- Yeah, well, you said
you never wanted
to get married again.
I mean, I don't.
Lawrence,
I just got divorced a year and a half ago.
You know what, I get it.
It's just...
I'm just gonna come out and ask.
Are you still
getting over your ex?
How did this become about him?
That is over.
Okay.
I mean, if anybody should
be worried about an ex,
it should probably be me.
- Come on.
- What?
You and Issa have little jokes
and you have the same friends.
How do you think
that makes me feel?
It's not like that between us.
Like, I broke up with her.
- Because she cheated.
- I still left.
- But if she hadn't.
- She hadn't what? Cheated?
- Okay, she did.
- But if she hadn't.
Would you still be together?
- Thanks for the ride.
- Yeah, for sure.
Gotta go to Molly's
to go get this pie.
Y'all good?
Yeah, we just
gotta have this talk.
Never mind, we good.
Just regular friend shit.
Mom said, oh,
it's about Stanley.
"It's a small fracture but
he's okay. Keep him in prayer.
"And thanks for spending time
with the family today.
It means a lot."
Hm.
We should have stayed, huh?
Fuck the twins.
You ain't gotta do something
just 'cause they say
you supposed to.
- You right.
- I know.
It's what my therapist say.
Well, this was
a much better Thanksgiving.
It was.
- I hate you.
- Hate you, too.
You are a bad loser.
So you ready
to get smacked again?
Ah, you want to play again?
I don't really feel like
winning again tonight.
- Wow!
- What?
Your eyebrows went
in there extra strong.
Oh, they're extra strong.
Officer: I want to assure
the good people of Los Angeles
that we are doing
everything in our power
to ensure the safe return
of this lost Toyota.
Sir, again, this is
the case about
the missing African-American
girl, LaToya Thompson.
Not a missing vehicle.
No further comment at this time.
Sir. Sir!
Chad:
Another beautiful Thanksgiving
with my beautiful
baby at the bar.
Say hey, Leah.
She wanna act mad.
That was my cousin's sister,
baby, don't be crass.
Anyways, happy Thanksgiving,
niggas. Be blessed.
We got yams... oh, shit.
I wonder who that is.
Who comin' to Thanksgiving?
Get your ass in here
with your Crown Royal.
Trina in the house. Hey, hey.
Derek:
Look at this little cutie here.
Don't mind if I do.
Happy Turkey Day, fam.
Gobble the dick,
gobble the dick.
Oh, shit!
- I'm going.
- Okay.
I'ma just circle around
the block one more time.
Has Molly said something to you?
- About what?
- She's been on my neck lately.
You'd tell me
if she was ugly, right?
Girl, of course not.
When I am struggling,
my man gets it.
I get that you have a lot
of work, but...
I'm just trying to figure out
where I fit in.
That's my little angel
right here.
- You want to hold her?
- Uh...
I just dropped a burrito
earlier today...
Then hell no.
- Oh, thank you.
It's weird
that you're still working
with Condola
when she's dating Lawrence.
It's weird but...
it doesn't have to be,
and I'm... I'm fine with it.
I gotta admit, I thought
maybe I scared you away
- when I told you I was divorced.
- No. Nah.
So, is it true?
Dad cheated on Mom?
- They worked through it.
- They worked through it?
- Lower your voice, please.
- Molly, what...
- How could you cheat on Mom?
- He made a mistake.
- I can't. No.
- Honey...
I'm sorry about the other night.
It's just hard for me
to let someone in like that.
It just might take some time.
- I got time.
- Cool.
- Who was that?
- Uh, just some... some work shit.
You stay working.
I've overseen numerous projects
from concept to completion.
I've demonstrated the ability
to turn detailed data analysis
into useful strategic insights
in order to make
the appropriate recommendations
to the Meridian team.
That's why I think...
Wow, okay, it can't be healthy
for you to wake up like this.
It's the only way I'll wake up.
I once slept through
an emergency water landing.
I have follow-up questions,
but I'ma leave it alone for now.
You have time?
- Mmm.
- Aw.
I wish!
But the plumber
is coming to my house
and then I'm heading to my
firm's Thanksgiving "Give Back."
Right.
Look at you,
using your powers for good.
- Stop.
- No, I'm serious.
You doin' big things.
It makes me feel like
I need to step my game up.
You're perfect.
So Thanksgiving. I know you
don't have family here either.
So you wanna do something?
I was gonna hop around.
My boy, Mike,
makes this Hennessy turkey.
It's trash, though.
That sounds fun,
but I'm actually
hosting a little
Friendsgiving at my place.
Oh. Do you want me to come?
Sure. I... didn't
know you'd want to.
Yeah, of course I do.
- Oh, Jesus.
- Wow. I know.
Hey, I have a meeting
with Tim and Cameron.
They ready?
Actually, they just got
pulled into something.
They have to reschedule.
Is everything okay?
Mm-hmm.
Anyway, man, one of
the investors pulled out,
now they're talking about
letting half of the company go.
Man, you gettin' fired already?
Hell no.
There's only three people
on my team
and I'm the only black person
they got.
Oh, shit, you black
and bulletproof.
What's the problem, my guy?
Well, it means that nobody's
getting promoted, man.
I'm supposed to be moving up,
not standing still.
Oh, nigga,
that's not standing still.
I ain't sold a house
in over a month, nigga.
That's standing still.
I'm falling apart.
- Wait, what?
- Earthquakes, nigga. The bubble, bro.
I get to spend more time with Leah,
that's the silver lining.
Speaking of, I finally saw
Silver Linings Playbook.
Whatever happened to Bradley
Cooper? He fell off after Limitless.
If I don't sell a house soon,
I'ma end up like that nigga.
Then why did you buy
a brand new Range?
To keep up appearances,
my nigga.
Wh... for what, man? For who?
Shit, everybody.
Mostly Leah, though.
And other bitches.
You need to upgrade your shit,
by the way.
Stop embarrassing Condola
driving around
in your daddy's old Jaguar.
She doesn't care about
that shit, man. We're good.
Yeah, I know y'all good. That girl
got you on the path and everything.
Meetin' the Fockers and shit.
Bradley should
have been in that.
It's just a Friendsgiving.
Calm down, man.
I just wish there wasn't
always one piece missing, man.
It's like, if it's not
the relationship, it's work.
If it's not work,
then it's some other shit.
You're still doing way better
than you were last year.
You were a bum.
You got money now, man.
Act like it.
You wanna buy a house?
- I'ma hold off on it.
- All right.
Also, for the record,
Bradley Cooper is doing great.
If you say so.
Issa?
- Oh, my God, hey.
- What up?
- How you doin'?
- Good.
What, you watching
Finding I-Kwon?
Yeah, I just took
a little break.
How did I not know
he went missing?
Spoiler alert, they found him.
Oh, that's what we doing?
We spoiling stuff again?
Well, you know in Coming to America,
they went back to Africa.
In Love Don't Cost A Thing,
shit got expensive.
Well, the best man in The Best Man,
he ends up being the worst man.
Okay, well,
in Set It Off, they...
all die except Jada.
I think. Just tried...
- Who died? Jada?
- Yeah.
- No, she's alive.
- Oh.
- Condola, hey.
- Hey.
We were just making jokes
about movies.
Oh.
Funny.
Yeah.
Oh, sorry I stole your spot.
I just love it so much.
The music is so easy to ignore.
They play a lot of Macy Gray.
I hope she's okay, though.
Oh, I'm glad you love
this place.
Oh, I was actually just leaving.
I was just finishing up!
Got a matcha tea latte
and a meatball sub for Issa.
- I just got some food to go.
- Order for here, Issa!
Uh, well, it was so good
to see you guys.
- See ya the next time.
- Oh, you, too.
Kelli:
Happy Thanksgiving week, y'all.
Countdown to Turkey Day.
Okay, I'm here
waitin' on my aunties.
How you gonna miss three
flights in one day?
My family. But...
a little pre-game
ain't never hurt nobody.
Sorry, got to take this. Urgent.
Hello?
Kelli's hosting all her aunties?
- Yup.
- Even the one who...
Yuuuuuup!
How many of these
do you usually use?
- Hmm, about 12.
- For a seven-layer dip?
Do you think you need that many?
Because I avoca-don't.
I probably need more.
My dad inhales the shit.
Oh, so you
and your dad are good.
Hell no. It's just dip.
And I've accepted the fact
that our relationship
won't be the same
and I'm fine with that.
Well, shit, be thankful your
parents don't have new families.
Me and Ahmal gotta celebrate
with Stanley this year.
Your mama still with him?
Delilah love her a project.
And she's obsessed with
gettin' to know his kids.
Like, why can't I just overeat
and binge drink
with my own blood?
Wait, does that mean
you're not coming over
for pie this year?
Oh, bitch, best believe
I'm comin' over, okay?
I'ma eat that pie
all the way out.
I'ma fuck that pie... up.
I'ma fuck that pie up!
You know, I've been going
back and forth with this,
but should I invite Andrew?
I mean, we are exclusive now.
Mm, I don't know, girl.
I mean, y'all only been talking
what, like, two, three months.
You gonna pull an old Molly
and scare his ass away.
- What are you doin'?
- I can't afford all this.
The block party's in two months
and me and Condola
are in the thick of it.
I don't know why
you keep acting like
everything's cool with that.
It is cool.
Matter of fact,
I saw the two of them together yesterday.
What, like on a date?
How was it?
It was all love all around.
Positive vibes, good.
Loose.
I'm glad your little throuple
is a success.
Bitch, you were just in
a throuple with Dro yesterday.
Well, at least I wasn't fuckin'
for free weed and toiletries.
Whoa, okay, what the fuck is up?
- 'Cause that was unnecessary.
- You were coming for me.
And I feel like you've
been coming for me.
- What's going on?
- I don't know, girl.
But the last couple of months,
it just feels like we've been...
Off.
Yeah, I know.
Should we, like, talk this out?
Yeah, definitely.
I got to go check out
a vendor later,
but you wanna just
talk at Thanksgiving?
- Yeah, let's do it around pie time.
- Cool.
It's open.
Gobble, gobble,
I brought a couple bottles!
All right, I will let myself out,
thank you.
No, don't go.
- I was just jokin'.
- I know, so was I.
You dressed up. This is a look.
You know, I wanted to make
a good impression.
Oh, hey, I thought the plumber
came to fix your sink.
He canceled on me.
He showed up and was like,
"Oh, you got a sink sink."
And then left.
I mean, you know, I...
I could try to fix it.
You don't have to do that.
I'll just schedule someone else.
No, it's all good. I got you.
Well, I appreciate that.
I am going to go
and finish my hair,
but there should be some
tools underneath the sink.
- All right, cool.
- Thanks.
- Don't take long.
- I won't.
'Cause I'm quick!
Man: Welcome
to "Fixing Sinks for Playas,"
teaching you
how to lay that pipe.
Now go ahead and grip
your wrench tight.
We 'bout to bust somethin' open.
- Derek: Tiff!
- Tiffany: Hey, daddy.
Derek: This smells crazy.
Gobble the dick,
gobble the dick.
Gotta gobble, turkey,
gobble, ha, ha.
Gobbledy, gobbledy, got turkeys!
- Hey, Mom.
- Hey.
Mwah.
What are they feeding you
at that new law firm?
That booty don't run
in our family.
Carter women are
known for our ankles.
Just say I gained weight.
Dang, ma.
- You ready to make these pies?
- I been ready.
Uh, will you take the skins off
those sweet potatoes
for me, please?
Yep, I just gottta get
another bag out the car,
and don't forget to make
an extra crispy crust for Issa.
Uh-oh, is that Big Head I hear?
Talkin' with her big mouth.
Shut up, ugly.
Hey, so good to see you, sis.
When do I get to try that
famous seven-layer dip?
Your nephew is hungry.
Oh, well, we're about
to make some right now.
You know you still got, like,
three months to jump ship, right?
Why everybody keep sayin' that?
- Molly.
- Hey.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
- Fat Albert.
- Throwback.
- I didn't see you come in.
I was getting some
drinks from out back.
- I got your favorites.
- Aw, Dad, man,
I'm just about to lay off
the sugar, but thanks.
- Hey, Curtis.
- Oh, yoink, sucker.
You dress like
a swap meet mannequin.
I'm gettin' buff, too.
You see me gettin' buff.
Okay, we staying here for
two hours max, then we out.
Bet. Which twin has alopecia?
Keisha. It's so easy.
Keisha, alopecia.
Right. Kassandra
got the big tooth.
Yeah, and if Stanley
starts a sentence with.
"Have I ever told you about?"
just say yes.
- That nigga got way too many anecdotes.
- Too many.
Wait, what the fuck?
Shit, Mom.
No! Oh, wait, never mind.
It's just Stanley.
I can see his neck.
- Oh, thank God.
- Mom!
- Hey.
- Is everything okay?
Yeah, Stanley slipped
on some loose gravy.
It could have been worse,
but Jesus said no.
Amen. That's what's up.
- Sorry, Stanley.
- Thanks, y'all.
Lila, I'm ready.
- Oh!
- Oh, okay, look,
I'm gonna ride
to the hospital with him.
But he's got some family coming
and the twins are coming over.
You should stay for dinner.
Yeah?
- Oh, oh, mmm, bye.
- Bye, I love you.
Stanley: Baby,
did I ever tell you the time
I lost my hearing,
but it came back stronger?
- What? No.
- Yeah.
Mwah, bye, babies.
Stanley: Easy, easy,
easy! God damn.
Easy!
- I don't fuck with adult twins.
- Bet.
This year has just been so busy,
I feel like I haven't
seen you guys.
Thank you for coming.
- Mm-hmm.
- Of course.
And everybody knows not
to miss a Condola joint.
She's party Spike Lee.
So Condola say you're in tech.
So am I.
- What do you do?
- Yeah, I'm in business development for Meridian.
He could also
moonlight as a plumber,
because he fixed
my sink this morning.
I didn't know men
could still fix things.
I know, right? Um, where you at?
I'm a coder over at Hummingbird.
Oh, dope. Yeah,
that's the spot right now.
- Congrats.
- Thanks.
Though Meridian's
going through changes, right?
Yeah, it's just, you know,
a bit of restructuring.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, I just found out.
But my job's safe. I, uh,
I've been thinking about
moving on anyway.
- I'm sure you'll figure it out.
- Thanks.
I'm working on it.
So can I get
you guys anything else?
Oh, yes, tell me where
did you get that shirt?
It's sublime.
All right, so, Isaac,
you wanna fold it like this,
and then like that,
so it looks like a fan.
Got it?
You think you want to try one?
- Yeah.
- I see you're getting your practice in.
How long you gonna make me wait?
Mom, chill.
Well, is there someone
in the picture, at least?
There is. I mean,
we've just been hanging out.
Does he have money?
Don't need you buying lunch
like you used to
with that one boy.
Mom, that was high school
and he wasn't my boyfriend.
- He was my bully.
- What y'all used to do
ain't none of my business.
What's your new man look like?
Okay. Here.
Oh!
- Is he Korean?
- Mom, stop.
- I can't ask questions?
- What y'all doing?
- Checking out Molly's new guy. Look.
- Oh, I want to see it.
Ah, let me see it.
Oh, this is you?
Is he crazy and rich? Oh!
This is why I didn't
wanna say nothing.
You should have brought him.
We would have been
on our best behavior.
You don't think that would
have been too much?
Issa said that might
scare him away.
You know, 'cause it's only
been a couple of months.
Don't you worry about a thing.
If he's right for you,
he won't think you're too much.
Don't overthink it.
Plus, look at your brothers.
They don't overthink nothin'.
Oh, you mad?
Ooh.
- Mm, let me figure this out.
- All right.
Kelli: Back in black,
damn it, y'all!
It's lit up in this house.
Look, look, look.
Okay, that's my auntie Tina
right there.
Okay, that's Kelli Sr.,
she ain't fuckin' around, look.
She ain't fuckin' around.
- We eating, bitch.
- Yeah!
The wait is an hour, though.
You still going to Molly's?
Yeah, I'll just text her
I'm gonna be late.
Okay, I'm going to the bar.
Time for that?
No.
Aw, cute.
No, don't, don't do it.
Don't say it, don't say it.
Okay, say it again.
Beret.
Pascal: What is so funny?
Nikki, you need some water?
You need some water?
- Drunk Nikki?
- Drunk Nikki.
Hey, so, uh,
when is the wedding?
Well, the goal is next year,
but we haven't even
found a venue yet.
Have you looked
in the art galleries?
They're easy to dress and then you
can make them whatever you want.
No, but that's a great idea.
Condola, do you just
wanna plan our wedding?
I'm not interested in planning
a wedding ever again.
Keep me far away
from that aisle.
Actually, just put me
in the overflow section.
Yeah, you know, I get it. I uh,
I never want an s-curl again.
Yo, because I burnt
the shit out of my scalp.
Lawrence, no you didn't!
You burned your scalp?
Coco, you have to plan a funeral now,
'cause I'm fucking dead!
Can't put a beret on that.
Uh, you know what?
Your glass is empty.
Uh, can I get anybody
else some wine?
Nikki: Yes, please!
I'ma follow you so I can look
at the back of your scalp.
Excuse me, croissant.
Ha, ha, whoo!
You know, I'm also wasted.
I just present it differently.
I'm so very drunk right now.
I'm so drunk.
Oh, my god, you are so fun.
Oh, thanks. Yeah, you fun too.
Ah, good for Condola.
You're everything she needed.
- Oh, for real?
- Mmm.
Yeah, how so?
After Mark left her
and they got divorced,
she needed to let loose
and have fun
and get over him.
Keep it casual.
Well, I mean, that's,
that's good to know.
Anyway, I'm glad
she's finally doin' it.
Oh, my gosh, who brings
quiche to Thanksgiving?
Pascal, was that you?
Hey, raspberry beret.
Oh, shit, shit.
Shit.
- Yes!
- Whoo, yes.
Thank you.
Ooh, it's hot. Okay, shit.
What a crazy Thanksgiving.
Not as crazy as the Thanksgiving
where Dad threw the turkey
in the pool.
Talking 'bout he tripped.
Why are things always
falling around Mom?
He did not fall.
He tossed that shit.
Why else would he be outside
with a whole-ass cooked turkey?
- 'Cause Mom was wild back then.
- They both were.
I don't fuck with Stanley,
but Mom and Dad were not happy.
The holidays always sucked.
At least you got to be yourself.
Remember that year I brought
my "roommate," Jordan?
I don't know why
they acted like that.
That long-ass,
pointed-ass prayer.
"Lord, thank you for
your flawless pairings...
Sun and moon, turkey and gravy,
man and woman."
- Magnets, too.
- "I'm talking about everyone, Lord."
No one specific."
Meanwhile, Aunt Ruby
brought a full married man
to Thanksgiving dinner.
Ain't nobody say shit.
Whatever happened to Jordan,
by the way? I liked him.
Jordan was trash.
After him, and even Cody,
I'm just done changing
myself for people.
I'm just gonna be me.
Some nigga's gonna have
to deal with this shit.
I saw Lawrence and his new
girlfriend the other day.
What? What'd you do?
I said hello, uh,
got my shit to-go,
and kept it pushin'.
He looked really happy.
So, you good?
'Cause that would have
activated me. I'm petty.
I mean...
I'd be lying if I said it
didn't bother me a little bit.
We were together for five years.
Yeah, you ain't been
broken up that long.
I know.
But the person he is now is
not the person he was with me.
- What do you mean?
- Like, they were out to lunch,
and I'm pretty sure
he was gonna pay.
Okay, I never got that.
That's true.
Niggas don't be payin'.
Yes!
I don't know, I got
the nigga with potential.
You know, I got
the work-in-progress.
And it took a lot of support
and patience and...
I just...
I feel like...
she's reaping all the benefits
of his time with me.
Damn.
Let me shut up 'cause I know I
don't have a right to feel like that.
No, you have a right to feel
however you wanna feel.
Seriously.
Fuck that nigga.
What? Did you do this?
- No, did you do this?
- Yo, this is kind of tight.
This is fire.
Why is there a Mexican
Thanksgiving song?
I don't know,
but I'm feelin' it!
Okay, let's go, because why?
- Call the family.
- Mm-hmm.
Jerome, you're a mama's boy
so you gonna be on Mom's team.
Which mom? Ha, ha, ha!
I'm just playin'.
That was funny, baby.
And Stupid, as always,
you're on Dad's team.
Oh, you know, we have
an odd number this year.
I should probably
just keep score.
Oh, man, I thought
I was gonna do that.
Oh, you are,
baby. Auntie Molly's just making jokes.
Hey, Molly, can you help me in the
kitchen real quick? I'll be right back.
You know what this sound
means, right?
Misery is what it means.
How long you gonna
drag this out?
- Drag what out?
- You've been weird to Dad
for months now.
It's pretty obvious.
Okay, well, finding out
all that shit about him
really messed me up,
like, a lot.
I mean, you and Mom can pretend
like it didn't happen, but I can't.
What do you mean Mom can
pretend? It happened to her.
I get that, but I just
saw that differently.
You're focusing on the negative.
You keep ignoring the part
where that nigga stayed
and made things right
afterwards.
- Don't call Dad a nigga.
- Dads are niggas too.
Just all grown up.
I'm just sayin',
he a regular-ass dude
who fucked up, he owned it,
and he made it right.
I guess.
Man, can we get
this Taboo going?
I've been trying to play
this shit all fuckin' night.
Is that... I love fucking Taboo.
You know I do. Come on.
Gwen: Are you sure you don't
need any help cleaning up?
Condola: I think we got it.
Thank you for coming.
- Later, y'all.
- You, too.
My friends loved you.
They thought you were hilarious.
Thank you for being
such a great co-host.
Yeah, they're cool.
Thanks for, uh, inviting me.
What?
I mean, you know, technically,
I didn't invite you.
- What?
- I mean, you kind of invited yourself,
but I'm really glad you came.
It was way better with you here.
Wait, you weren't
gonna invite me?
I just didn't wanna pressure
you or feel pressure.
So Drunk Nikki was right.
Oh, God, what did she say?
Well, she basically said
I was your fuck buddy.
- What? She said that?
- Yeah.
Lawrence, I am so sorry.
She is a mess.
Why would she say that?
I don't know. She was drunk.
- But is that how you feel?
- No, of course not.
Okay, it's just...
Look...
I don't know, I just,
I feel like, uh...
like I'm learning
a lot of new shit here.
- Like...?
- Like...
I didn't know you didn't
want a family.
- I never said that.
- Yeah, well, you said
you never wanted
to get married again.
I mean, I don't.
Lawrence,
I just got divorced a year and a half ago.
You know what, I get it.
It's just...
I'm just gonna come out and ask.
Are you still
getting over your ex?
How did this become about him?
That is over.
Okay.
I mean, if anybody should
be worried about an ex,
it should probably be me.
- Come on.
- What?
You and Issa have little jokes
and you have the same friends.
How do you think
that makes me feel?
It's not like that between us.
Like, I broke up with her.
- Because she cheated.
- I still left.
- But if she hadn't.
- She hadn't what? Cheated?
- Okay, she did.
- But if she hadn't.
Would you still be together?
- Thanks for the ride.
- Yeah, for sure.
Gotta go to Molly's
to go get this pie.
Y'all good?
Yeah, we just
gotta have this talk.
Never mind, we good.
Just regular friend shit.
Mom said, oh,
it's about Stanley.
"It's a small fracture but
he's okay. Keep him in prayer.
"And thanks for spending time
with the family today.
It means a lot."
Hm.
We should have stayed, huh?
Fuck the twins.
You ain't gotta do something
just 'cause they say
you supposed to.
- You right.
- I know.
It's what my therapist say.
Well, this was
a much better Thanksgiving.
It was.
- I hate you.
- Hate you, too.
You are a bad loser.
So you ready
to get smacked again?
Ah, you want to play again?
I don't really feel like
winning again tonight.
- Wow!
- What?
Your eyebrows went
in there extra strong.
Oh, they're extra strong.
Officer: I want to assure
the good people of Los Angeles
that we are doing
everything in our power
to ensure the safe return
of this lost Toyota.
Sir, again, this is
the case about
the missing African-American
girl, LaToya Thompson.
Not a missing vehicle.
No further comment at this time.
Sir. Sir!
Chad:
Another beautiful Thanksgiving
with my beautiful
baby at the bar.
Say hey, Leah.
She wanna act mad.
That was my cousin's sister,
baby, don't be crass.
Anyways, happy Thanksgiving,
niggas. Be blessed.
We got yams... oh, shit.
I wonder who that is.
Who comin' to Thanksgiving?
Get your ass in here
with your Crown Royal.
Trina in the house. Hey, hey.
Derek:
Look at this little cutie here.
Don't mind if I do.
Happy Turkey Day, fam.
Gobble the dick,
gobble the dick.
Oh, shit!
- I'm going.
- Okay.
I'ma just circle around
the block one more time.
Has Molly said something to you?
- About what?
- She's been on my neck lately.
You'd tell me
if she was ugly, right?
Girl, of course not.
When I am struggling,
my man gets it.
I get that you have a lot
of work, but...
I'm just trying to figure out
where I fit in.
That's my little angel
right here.
- You want to hold her?
- Uh...
I just dropped a burrito
earlier today...
Then hell no.