Insecure (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - Hella Shook - full transcript

[music playing]

- [horn honking]
- [woman vocalizing]

♪ All my life, I had
to grind and hustle ♪

- ♪ I had to work like Kobe... ♪
- [car beeping]

♪ Just to shine like Russell ♪

Aw, shit.

♪ They say, "Glad you
made it happen overnight" ♪

♪ They say, "Damn, you changed" ♪

♪ I'm like, "Show you right" ♪

♪ Nigga, I be in the crib,
tryin' to find the BPM ♪

♪ Rehearsing for the
next show in my kitchen ♪



♪ Fresh off a tour, but can't
tell you where I been... ♪

- Daniel: Yeah?
- Special delivery, sir.

Mmm, leave it on the stoop.

You have to sign for it.

It's a package

for your package.

Handle with care.

Or not. [giggles]

I got a gun.

It's Issa!

[chuckles]

[both chuckle]

Come here.

You was really gonna shoot me?



♪ This is just my every day,
this is just my every day ♪

So just follow up with Sharon.

She's our senior associate
who covers that area.

Wait, which one is Sharon again?

We just walked past her office.

She had on a tan suit.

Look like T-Boz.

The one that was reading
"Think Like a Man"?

- [laughs]
- There's really a lot of us here.

Look, I don't know how you do it.

I mean, the LA office remind
me of why I went to Howard.

It reminds me of why that Solange
album stays on repeat in my car.

So, um, did you tell them

that you know the white
boy make more than you?

You know I can't say anything.

Hey, look.

- You ever think about leaving?
- Leaving?

You know MJ&S is not the only good firm.

You need to just get out of LA

and move to a city with
a real football team.

Okay, calm down. The Bears suck, so.

Okay, you just got the Rams.

[both laugh]

Plus, I've already been
there for four years.

I'm not about to just
let that time go to waste.

Look, Molly, all I'm
saying is you have options.

You bring a lot to the table if
it's at MJ&S or somewhere else.

I really do appreciate you saying that.

Well, appreciate it by bringing me
some Roscoe's next time you come.

So I can be the black girl
on a plane with fried chicken?

Nope.

Come on, now. You ain't
gonna feed a brother?

I done gave you some advice.

I'm slim thick. You gotta feed me.

- [laughing]
- I got a pastor's body. Don't laugh.

Massa, why you let 'Nessa
shave you this morning?

Oh, Ninny...

she only trimmed the tree.

I'll let you tend the bush.

Ooh, 'Nessa about to get
got, messing with Ninny's man.

This show is so stupid.

- Oh, you leaving?
- Yeah, I was just about to head out.

[sighs]

- Mmm.
- Oh.

You got plans tomorrow night?

I don't know.

Do you?

Maybe.

Tsk, you ain't got no plans.

[both laugh]

[clears throat]

- Where you going?
- About to go to Brolly Hut.

So, you're just gonna get
pastrami tacos without me?

Niggas ain't shit.

[chuckles] We're not.

[laughs]

[panting]

Yo, so, nobody's heard from Gary?

Last thing I heard, he was yelling,

"Slow down, you fuckers!"

- You calling him?
- No.

I gotta check and see if I
have jury duty in the morning.

Man, jury duty's the fucking worst.

You got called, huh?

Aw, you're gonna miss Colin and
me pitching your app tomorrow.

Oh, sitting in a courtroom all day

or listening to Colin talk
for 10 minutes straight...

Not sure what's worse.

- [panting]
- Aparna: Oh, looky here.

- Fuck this fucking marathon.
- [all laughing]

- Brooke: Gar-bear!
- Aparna: Oh, Gary!

Cheese.

- Gary: Cheese.
- [camera clicks]

Girl, I found us a bomb-ass
hotel in Morocco to stay at.

Palais Faraj.

That's French for "palace," bitch.

Okay, well, I will be
staying at the Motel "See,"

and that's French for
"I'm broke as fuck," bitch.

Tsk, can you hand me the
birds of paradise, please?

I wanna add them to these roses.

- This is a big-ass bouquet.
- I know.

My dad has been so fucking
extra with this vow renewal.

Talking about some "I want it to
look like an ocean of flowers."

He lucky I don't drown these shits.

I love your parents. They're so cute.

- You sure you don't wanna come?
- No, girl.

I told you, I got this
fuck-ass work retreat.

[phone buzzes]

- Who's that?
- Huh? Oh, just Daniel.

Oh, y'all cool now?

Wait, what'd you call him?
The zit you had to pop?

Wait, or was it a rash
you had to put ointment on?

You know what? We're fine, okay?

Daniel and I have history
and we always bounce back.

Oh, so y'all can just be cool
without catching feelings?

- Yeah, we're friends who fuck.
- M'kay.

Daniel knows what it is.

Plus I told you, I'm not about
this feeling shit right now.

Listen, if you like it, I love it.

- Get yours.
- Oh, I sure the fuck will.

Because I am all about what?

Putting niggas in my "hotation."

Oh, oh, we got... We got a hotation?

- Listen, I got Daniel.
- Okay.

- I got neighbor bae.
- What?

And I'm about to add a new one tonight.

- He Latino?
- Sí, bitch!

[trilling, laughs]

That was really racist.

Narrator on TV: What's the
first thing you think of

when you hear the words "jury duty"?

- Is it finding an excuse not to serve?
- [phone buzzes]

It's time to take a fresh
look at jury service,

and see why there's no
justice without you.

It all starts with the selection process

where jurors are chosen.

Today I wanna talk to you about
the world's hottest pepper...

The Carolina Reaper.

[laughing, crunches]

Mmm... fuck!

- What is wrong with her?
- Kelli: Oh, God!

Would the following jurors
please report to courtroom 65?

Javier Alvarado, Francis Butler,

Rodrigo Fuentes, Edwin Gordon,

Karen James, Joseph Lin,

Rachel Simmons, Lawrence Walker,

and Thomas Williams.

Just a reminder, I am
still looking to name

a Director of Student
Outreach for We Got Y'all.

And don't forget tomorrow's retreat

will begin promptly at 9:00 a.m.

So, we're coming to work
on a Saturday... for free?

And also, we will be
partnering with Inner-City Arts

to give opportunities to students

who have an interest in the arts.

So, everyone, think about which
of your kids would be a good fit.

God, arts education is so
important for kids like these.

- Especially in this climate.
- Betsy DeVos.

Joanne: And with the state of
things in this country,

people seem to not
be hearing each other.

I bet you she's gonna
say "now more than ever."

...unity are vital to our
mission now more than ever.

[bubbling]

Hey, can we talk?

Honestly, I don't know what to say.

Well, clearly you're upset
about something, so...

you know you can just talk to me.

I still feel weird

about just going along with Gaines.

[scoffs] Still?

I was just trying to make
the best out of the situation.

It seemed like you were trying
to help yourself more than...

Do you know how many racist-ass
Gaines types there are out there?

And, truthfully,

black people can't really
be racist like that, so.

Yes, they can.

Racism is about having the power

to manipulate a
situation against someone.

Oh, so you're just gonna be literal?

- Yes.
- It must be nice to have the privilege

to choose to be upset over this.

So, you're saying I can never call out

when someone of color's
doing something wrong?

- Kinda.
- That's not fair.

- Well, that's the world we live in.
- Maybe it is.

I just expected more from you.

[bubbling continues]

I would leave, but I literally
just filled up the water.

Yo, yo.

What you doing here so early?

Came up last night to
hang with the parents.

Oh, okay. I see.

So, we just out here
wearing tight T-shirts now?

Okay, well, I mean, if people
out here noticing, then, yeah.

Man, your pops still
didn't fix that gate, huh?

[both laugh]

Used to wake up the whole
block when you missed curfew.

Man, my dad ain't fixing that gate.

- It's the only alarm we got.
- [both laugh]

Well, I wanted to catch
you before tomorrow,

make sure we all cool and...

Yeah, we good.

I know I dropped a lot on
you at Kiss-n-Grind, so.

It kind of was, but we
were both pretty drunk.

I wasn't that drunk.

You never thought about us like that?

I mean, yeah, when you had
your colored contacts in.

I was like, "Okay." But then you
took them out and I was like, "Nah."

Don't do that.

Yeah, I've thought about it.

I've been thinking about
you, but you're married.

So, open or not,

that's just not how I see my life.

Okay, yeah. No, I get it.

Look, well, just know
we will always be good.

- No matter what.
- Good.

Tomorrow should be fun.

So, get ready, 'cause I am
going to wear my tight suit.

Oh, okay.

Is it gonna be tighter than this shirt?

- Bam!
- Okay...

Your Honor, I have just a few
more questions for Juror 9.

Judge: Okay, proceed.

Juror 9, have you ever
testified in any court proceeding?

- No.
- Do you harbor any bias

towards the Los Angeles
Police Department?

Actually...

Not buying it.

Attorney: Your Honor, the defense
would like to dismiss Juror 3.

Judge: Juror 3, you're dismissed.

Juror 3.

While you're still young!

Y'all are really going
all out for this, huh?

Oh, please, I got
these champagne glasses

from the little Mexican dollar store.

They're probably full of lead.

Besides, I'm saving
for somebody's wedding.

[tsks, groans]

You know, Costco is selling atriums now.

Cee-Cee, Molly is too special

to settle for the first little ashy
boy who wants to put a ring on it.

Thank you, Daddy.

- Ooh.
- Okay.

Now, don't start
nothing you can't finish.

- Oh, yuck, please stop.
- [parents laughing]

- Hey.
- Oh, come on, now.

Red cups? What you
think this is, Freaknik?

[laughs] What's up, Mo?

- What's up, Big Head?
- Hey, Curtis. Hey, Ugly.

Hey, I thought you
said those were yours.

- Yeah, they are.
- You ain't never gave us one.

- Ah...
- Mmm.

You gonna drink it in front of my face?

- I can't stand you.
- Wait, it took two of you to pick that up?

- You know Jerome don't drive.
- Man, I don't need to. Michelle drive.

I don't even understand how
your scrub-ass self gets bitches.

Like this. [snaps fingers]

- Stupid, man...
- Mm-mm. I'm done.

♪ Baby, I want some of your love ♪

♪ Your love, your love, your love ♪

♪ Baby, can I have some of your ♪

♪ Your love, your love? ♪

Come through, Tinder. Come through.

Hi. Nico?

- Issa?
- Hi.

Uh...

So, uh, what are we drinking?

Well, this place is
known for their martinis.

I heard that they infuse
a lot of their gins.

Fuck gin. I want the horchata.

Easy on the chata, heavy on the whore.

- You pick.
- Don't worry, you're in good hands.

Are you good with your hands?

Or are you better with your dick?

Yeah, to be honest, I'm not
really much of a martini guy.

I was only trying to impress.

Well, I bought it, so I'm clearly easy.

To... to impress.

Well, now that we're throwing
the cards on the table,

I should tell you that I caught that
Spider-Man reference in your profile.

- Marvel, huh?
- All day.

See, the thing is I'm a DC guy.

- What?!
- Oh, come on.

Superman beats Spider-Man.

I mean, Superman's
dog beats Spider-Man.

You know what? I should go.

Actually, you should.

Okay, here, hold on.
Excuse me, drink, please?

[phone buzzes]

Nicely poured.

- For you.
- Thank you.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- [music playing]
- I love it.

[both laugh]

You guys doing okay, or...?

Uh, did you want anything else?

No, I'm good, thank you.

I think we're good. Thank you.

Oh.

If you're gonna go for it,
you've gotta commit to it.

- What? I did.
- Uh-huh.

Next time, don't stop
until I say, "I got it."

Noted.

- Well, thank you.
- You're very welcome.

Wow, it's almost midnight.

- Time just flew by.
- Yeah.

But I'm not tired.

So, if you want, we
could keep hanging out.

I wish. I have to get up super early.

I have a flight in the morning, so.

Oh, okay.

But, hey, this is an excuse
for us to do this again.

- Okay.
- [chuckles]

...only then can we
truly achieve empathy.

Let's practice how we listen

to students experiencing
personal challenges.

Those skills would be especially
important for whomever I name

as our new Director of Student Outreach.

Issa, Frieda, Kitty,
Ken, please come up.

- Why don't you go first?
- Okay.

"A student who was formerly engaged"

is now talking back
and missing assignments.

"What are some possible
underlying causes?"

Um, mm.

Okay, so, my first thought might be

has something in their
home life changed?

Okay, I'd wanna know
if any of their parents

are affiliated with any organizations.

I mean, we're all thinking drugs, right?

Are they old enough to get pregnant?

Because they're probably pregnant.

Maybe instead of assuming,

we should just ask them
what the hell is going on.

Sorry.

No, it's the retreat.

Honestly, sometimes
it's more than one thing.

And these are kids.

Even adults can have a hard time

being honest with
themselves about things.

I agree with Frieda.

We're mining a deep vein, here.

Let's keep digging.

Everyone, pair up, pick
a card from the bowl.

- Kitty: You wanna partner?
- Ken: Yeah.

Kitty: Okay, all right.

Uh, you wanna be my partner?

Oh, we're really doing this?

Yeah, we're doing it. Sit up. Up.

- Patricia: You can do it.
- Frieda: Thank you.

Hey, Sarah, do you wanna partner up?

[chatter]

- Sure.
- Frieda: Okay, you learn that a student

is scared of going for his dreams.

Well, that's stupid.

Dreams aren't meant to be achieved.

That's why they're called dreams.

Otherwise, they'd be called reality, so.

They might as well learn
that sooner rather than later.

- That's kind of dark, Patricia.
- It's true.

- These are beautiful, Mom.
- Thank you.

I got the champagne from the fridge.

See something, do something, right?

Thank you.

You're welcome.

- Your parents are kind of great.
- [chuckles]

Yeah, they are.

- Man: Molly!
- Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Peña.

- Ven. Mwah!
- Oh, mwah!

- So good.
- Thank you.

I was just asking my parents
if they ever thought about

renewing their wedding vows.

Mrs. Peña: On that note, we're
gonna go find your parents.

- Come on, Papi.
- Sí, sí.

- Sí, Mami.
- Hola.

Oh, uh, Dro, this is
Lionel. Lionel, Dro.

- Pleasure.
- How you doing, Dro?

- Good, good.
- Dro and I grew up together.

Yeah, my parents' house is
right across the street there.

- Okay.
- You two work together?

- Uh, no.
- No.

We met out.

Yeah, Lionel's a mortgage broker.

Marketing consultant.

- You are a...
- Both: Marketing consultant.

Yes. Yes.

Yeah.

So, where's Candice?

- Bachelorette party in Cabo.
- Jerome: Dro!

Little bruv.

- Hi!
- What's up?

That dude is tall.

Is he?

- [music playing]
- Nah, man, I didn't know.

So, Tiffany hasn't said
anything about Issa and Daniel?

After what happened with
the whole Tasha thing,

Tiff and I had to stop discussing y'all

because we'd always end up taking sides.

It'd get real, bro.

I just can't believe Issa is
still out here seeing this dude.

Yeah, man, I feel you.

Yo, and now I'm like was she playing me

the whole time we were together?

Women are slick about hiding their dirt.

- Iss, slick?
- Yeah.

You've seen her dance,
right? Or just, like, live?

That's exactly why
you wouldn't expect it.

'Cause they don't seem like the type.

I mean, how you know that
Tiffany isn't out there just...

- Come on.
- I'm just saying.

All right, I thought Issa
and I were in it together,

but she was out there doing whatever.

Honestly, this ain't all on Issa.

What?

I mean, you spent two years unemployed,

not doing shit, letting
your woman take care of you.

Kind of left the door open.

So, what? That gives her the
right to fuck some other dude?

No, but I can see why she'd be attracted

to a guy who's out there,
making things happen.

Hey, can we get two more?

I appreciate it.

[chatter]

- Curtis: So, is that you?
- Molly: Yeah.

We went out a couple weeks ago

and I decided to give him another shot.

Oh, so it's a pity date.

- He went to Penn.
- He went to Penn?

- He has a good job.
- Most niggas should.

He's ready to settle
down. You know what?

I figure if I'm ever gonna have what
Mom and Dad have, I might as well just...

Okay, look.

Just because you meet some good guy

don't mean it's gonna
end up like Mom and Dad.

Ain't no rule books to this shit.

You're just saying that
because you married a stripper.

No, I love Kim.

She trapped me, but I love her.

I'm just being real.

If you ain't feeling this
nigga, then why you with him?

Jerome: Yo, Curtis, Curtis.

I'm gonna kill your fucking brother.

- Curtis.
- What, nigga? Damn!

- Jerome: You gonna try to get a drink?
- Curtis: No, nigga, I'm not.

- Jerome: Try the berry one?
- Curtis: No!

[sighs]

[phone buzzing]

- Hey.
- Hey.

Remember when we were kids

and that white girl Amanda Johnson...

- Samantha Bronson.
- Her.

Remember how she swore up and down

that there was a sex scene
at the end of "Aladdin"

and I knew there wasn't
because I had fast-forwarded

to the end of the tape
and knew she was wrong?

Why are we talking about
"Aladdin" and little white girls?

Because I was right
then and I'm right now.

My self-righteous-ass coworker
is acting like I'm leaving out

all the Latino kids on purpose.

Why you leaving out all Latino kids?

- Didn't nobody say "all."
- You literally just said "all."

I know what I said,
and I didn't say "all."

You can never admit when you're wrong.

Never say never, nigga! How about that?

Stupid-ass.

[phone buzzes]

- [sighs]
- [phone buzzes]

Oh, yeah? How bored?

Send me a video, baby.

Oh, just screening for cancer.

Gross.

- [music playing]
- Molly, come here.

- I'll see you there. Yep.
- Yeah.

- Hey, Aunt Janice.
- That's your Great-Aunt Janice.

Don't act like we're the same age.

- Hey, Aunt Kiki, Cousin Mary.
- Hey, baby.

So, brought you a man this time.

- Dark and lovely.
- Oh.

Girl, if I was 20 years younger...

Not today. Today is
about David and Carol.

35 years.

- Amazing.
- Mm-hmm!

I didn't think they were gonna
make it to 5, let alone 35.

What he put my sister through?

Let's go. Kiki, come on.

- Kiki: What was that wench's name again?
- Janice: Kiki.

What?

♪ Now we in the same spot ♪

♪ Right there, wetter than a raindrop ♪

- [horn honks]
- Why you gotta beep?

[phone buzzes]

Oh!

What the...? Shit!

Fuck!

- ♪ Back, back, back, back... ♪
- [sighs]

♪ Yo neck and yo back,
back, back, back, unh... ♪

[laughter, chatter]

- So, is it true?
- [sighs] Molly.

- Dad cheated on Mom?
- They worked through it.

They worked through it? What
the fuck does that even...?

So, Mom knew, and she's cool with it?

- Molly, calm down.
- Fuck that!

Fuck this ceremony.

- Fuck all this fake-ass shit.
- Mom: Molly!

- Lower your voice, please.
- Molly, what...

How could you cheat on Mom?

Oh, Molly, listen.

It was a long time ago.

Why would you stay?

Molly, he made a mistake.

- Listen, honey...
- No, no. I can't.

- Honey...
- No.

[sighs]

Hey, you all right?

I got it, I got it.

- Cool, 'cause Aunt Kiki...
- Oh, fuck!

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

- Hey, are you okay?
- No!

Come here, come here.

Oh, damn, that's real bad.

Shit!

[sighs]

[music playing]

- [phone buzzing]
- [music turns off]

- Iss.
- Hey.

So, I'm not gonna make it tonight.

I got into a stupid car accident.

- Shit, you okay?
- My car is fucked.

- But you're not hurt, though, right?
- No, I'll be all right.

I just didn't want
you to think I ghosted.

All right, I'ma come pick you up.

No, you don't have to do all that.

I can just ride in the tow truck.

I think the driver has a Yaki ponytail,

so maybe I'm not his type.

- Come on, where you at?
- 60th and West.

All right, I'm on my way.

Okay.

[vocalizing]

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Stop tripping, girl, you know me ♪

♪ I'm your homie, don't cut it off ♪

♪ We done said it all
and we done it all ♪

♪ I want it all for myself ♪

♪ Sorry if I'm coming off insecure ♪

♪ Ooh, oh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Why you gotta be so insecure? ♪

♪ Yeah... ♪

I never would have
thought in a million years

that my dad could... [sucks teeth]

Sorry.

He wasn't supposed to
do something like that.

I'm sure he feels terrible, though.

Good. He should feel terrible.

Why are you even defending him?

I'm not. I'm on your side.

I'm just trying to...

Man, I just feel so fucking stupid.

Here I am, trying to
find a nigga like my dad,

thinking that my parents'
marriage is "the thing."

All the while, their whole
shit is fucked up, too.

That doesn't make you stupid.

- Tsk.
- It doesn't.

You're just trying to find
someone who loves you and...

makes you happy.

You should.

- Yo.
- Thank you so much.

- What happened?
- I was driving and then...

- Just...
- Come here.

It's all good.

You know I got you.

We're cool, right?

Yeah.

Why?

I'm just really glad we
reconnected, but I know...

I'm out there and you're out there,

and we're both seeing
other people, right?

Yeah.

Cool, 'cause,

like, last time, I wasn't
as up front about everything

and I do not want to
do that again this time.

No, I get it.

Thank you.

'Cause, you know, I just wanna be

on the same page from the beginning.

- Okay. Cool.
- Cool.

Okay.

- You got...? Okay.
- Yeah.

Sorry about before.

- I didn't mean to yell at you.
- No, I... I know.

How you gonna get home?

I'll call Lyft or whatever.

All right.

♪ I'll live inside of you ♪

♪ To find what you're looking for ♪

- ♪ Swallow me... ♪
- [panting]

[Molly moans]

♪ Tell me about it ♪

♪ Swallow me ♪

♪ Tell me about it ♪

[vocalizing]

- ♪ It all ♪
- ♪ Swallow me ♪

♪ Tell me about it ♪

♪ Swallow me ♪

♪ Tell me about it ♪

♪ Our love is supposed to be ♪

♪ Oh, tell me about it ♪

- ♪ Open up so slowly ♪
- ♪ Oh ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ Swallow me ♪

♪ Our love is supposed to be... ♪