Infinity Train (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - The Grid Car - full transcript

(3boodR)
[ Birds chirping ]

[ Railroad crossing tolling ]

[ Hydraulics hiss ]

What are you gonna do
when I'm at game design camp?

Die of boredom probably?

Ugh. Yes!

Way to abandon me
in my time of need.

Sorry, Mikayla,
but Oshkosh calls.

I'm the coding hero
Wisconsin needs.

[ Chuckles ] I don't think
they want their coding hero

to stink up the whole state
with her onion breath.



[ Chuckling ] Hey!
It's not my fault

I have
a sophisticated palette.

You have
a gross palette.

I think I'm gonna work on my
game some more before I leave.

I wanna code those other nerds
into the ground.

I thought your game was cool
when I played it.

And you know how I feel
about video games.

-You hate them.
-[ Imitating ] I hate them.

But I like yours.

¶¶

So...

When your dad picks you up
for visits,

does he come in
and talk to your mom?

[ Geese squawking ]
Uh, yeah, sometimes.



I guess it's weird
to see your parents

talking to each other now.

What do you mean weird?

[ Crow cawing ]
Well, 'cause, you know...

They're not married
anymore,

and everything
is different.

It's fine.

Lots of people's parents
are divorced.

Y'know...[exhales sharply]
I better hurry home and pack.

I-I-I'll see you on Monday.
-Oh, okay. Bye!

Text me
when you're at camp!

You'll do great!

[ Door closes ]
Tulip.

Tulip, it's your dad.
We need to talk to ya.

Nahhh,
she went upstairs.

I don't know, Andy,
what do you wanna do?

[ Sighs heavily ]

Okay, game, you're supposed
to be working but watch,

I'll press play
and you're just gonna die.

[ Game blips, groans ]

[ Jingling ]

[ Exhales sharply ]
See, that's not right!

[ Gasps ]

[ Keys clacking ]
[ Game groans ]

[ Gasps ]
Look at you!

You're moving around now!

Don't ever change.

Thanks, "Coding is Cool" guy!

[ Deep voice ]
"Why, thank you, Tulip.

For with your purchase
of my book,

I can finally afford
to have this ferret

removed from my face."

Megan: [ Distantly ] Tulip! Can
you come down here, please?

[ Groans loudly ]

Yeah?
[ Sighs deeply ]

Tulip, I'm so sorry, but
your dad can't take you to camp.

What?!
What do you mean?! You -- ugh.

You said if I brought my grade
up in English I could go!

You -- You -- You and Dad signed
a contract and everything.

I-I know, Bud.

But your dad
mixed up the dates

and planned a work trip
out of town.

Okay, well, then why
don't you take me?!

I have a 12-hour shift
at the hospital tonight

and then another shift
on Sunday.

I thought you'd be gone
the whole time.

What, so you're both too busy
to be my parents?
Hey!

You guys are the ones
whose divorce

keeps messing
everything up, not me!

This isn't fair!
No, it isn't fair!

But it was an accident.

And your dad and I are still
trying to figure this out.

I know, we're not very good
at it yet.

Good at what?
Good at being divorced?

Tulip, I just mean
scheduling.

What schedule?!
It's two of you and one kid!

It's not that hard!

Ngh. Fine.
Whatever.

I can't go.
Tulip, wait!

Let's talk about this!
No!

I'm going back
to my game.

[ Groans loudly ]

[ Strains ]

[ Exhaling sharply ]

[ Sniffling ]

¶¶

[ Cellphone buzzing ]
[ Exhales sharply ] Huh?

[ Buzzing continues ]

[ Cellphone beeps ]
Hmm.

¶¶

¶¶

[ Grunts ]

¶¶

¶¶

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Exhales deeply ]

300 miles is not
"a quick hop."

¶¶

[ Brakes hiss ]

Oh!
Well, that's lucky.

[ Music whomping ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Grunts ]

What the -- Ugh.

Did I just
hallucinate a train station?

Well, that's...boring.

"Tulip, we missed you
at game design camp!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't
quite make it

because I decided to fall asleep
in a field

and dream about outdated modes
of transportation!"

[ Groans ]

[ Both screaming ]

Glad-One: [ British accent ]
Are you my mum?
W-What?! What?
Am I what?

Are you my mum?
Nooo!

Sad-One: So you've come to bring
me the sweet release of death?

Also no?
Are you a toy?

You have really good speech
recognition.

Glad-One:
I'm looking for my mother.

I don't know what she looks
like, though.

She might be large...

Sad-One: Or small,
like a nurturing bagel.

Are you looking for
your bagel mother, too?

No.
Definitely not.

Not my dad, either.

[ Exhales sharply ]
Weird toy.

Glad-One:
So what are you looking for?

I'm not looking
for anything.

I'm going to Oshkosh.
-Is that your home?

It's where
game design camp is.

Sad-One:
So you're going alone?
Yes.

Glad-One:
Without your parents?

I don't need them
to get there!

Now go back
to being a snowman

or a -- whatever you are!

Sad-One:
Oh, my gosh. What am I?

Uuuuuugghhh--oooooh?

[ Scoffs ] North St. Paul kids
probably built this.

Glad-One: That door
is impossible to open.

Sad-One: The only way out
is through hypothermia.

Pfffft.

[ Grunts ]

This...is the train?

I'm on a big train!
Like a --

Like a really weird
big train?!

Glad-One:
You can reach doorknobs?!

How does this door
work? Are -- Are you
like a real robot?

Are there other people
on here? [ Gasps ]

Is this what trains
are like?
Yes!

Yes to what? Which?
I 'unno.

Wait.
What's in the next train car?

Sad-One: It'll probably
be disappointing...

Wooooooww!

Oh...hmm.
Well...

Called it.

I wonder what
this room's for.

[ Dings ]

Whoa-hoah!
Back to being impressed!

[ Binging up octave ]

Hop! Hip! Hoop! Hoop!

[ Sliding up the scale ]

[ Sliding down the scale ]

[ Random notes ]
Hop, hop, hipe, hoop, hop.

Sad-One:
Are you building a coffin?

I-It's a character
from my game.

I call it "Good Guys
Poppin' Bad Guys."

It's the best game
I've ever made.

Glad-One:
How many games have you made?
One.

[ Gasps ]
You're joking.

That's kind of a weird thing
to joke about.

That's my name!

I'm One!
-One...

And that's kind of
a weird name to have.

Unlike my name, which is Tulip
and is perfectly normal.

Oh, you know
I'm getting up there!

[ Grunts ]
[ Bings ]

Ha-ha!

[ Music jingles ]

Aah!
W-What's this?!

[ Gears screeching ]

[ Clatters ]

[ Air hisses ]

One-One?

Do you know
what Wisconsin looks like?

Glad-One: All right, hold on.
Lemme think.

I wanna say
it looks like...

this?
No.

This is not Wisconsin.

[ Ominous music plays ]

[ Thunder crashes ]

Okay.

¶¶

[ Shouts ]

[ Explosion ]

Wahhhh!

Ahhhh!
What happened to that guy?!

Sad-One: You're in kind of
a bad place right now.

I'm not -- Oh!

I don't want to be
on this train anymore!

Glad-One: Wait!
Are you my mum?

I forgot what you said
last time.

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Panting ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Swishing ]
Huh?

[ Grunting ]

¶¶

[ Straining ]

[ Hums Boots Randolph's
"Yakety Sax" ]

What are you singing?!
Sad-One: It's a wacky

getting-chased song.
-I made it up.

[ Panting ]

[ Strains ]
-[ Squeaking ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

[ Whirring ]

[ Straining ]

Ahh!

[ Panting, shouting ]

[ Discordant tones ]

[ Slides down scale ]

[ Random notes ]
No, no, no, no!

[ Breathing heavily ]

Ahhhh!

[ Shouting ]

Glad-One:
I can help, Ms. Tulip.
[ Pops ]

Ahh!
You can do that?

Ahhhh!
Ahh!

[ Panting ]

Gimme a wall!

[ Notes slide along scale ]

Alright, Good Guy,
pop that bad guy!

[ Whines ]

Uhhhhh, Bad Guy's turn!
[ Grunts ]

One-One, how's that wall?!

Glad-One: Well, it's more
of a house instead of a wall.

Sad-One:
Do you want me to start over?

I'll just start over.
-No!

Don't start over!
[ Panting, shouts ]

[ Shouting ]

Sad-One: I forgot
to make a roof.

Glad-One: Is that weird
for a house -- no roof?

[ Panting ]

This place has some stuff
that's okay about it,

and some stuff
that could be better.

[ Exhales deeply ]

There have to be a way
off this train

that won't kill me.

Okay, everything has rules.

E-E-Even crazy things
have their own logic.

It's a train, right?

Trains have conductors.

One-One, is there a conductor?

Please tell me you know
the answer.

Conductor? Hmm...

I think
we have one of those.

Sad-One: But he would most
likely be at the engine.

[ Ominous music plays ]

3boodR

I'm getting off this train.

3boodR