In the Motherhood (2009): Season 1, Episode 4 - Practice What You Preach - full transcript

Emily and Jason are concerned with Bill's imaginary friend.

OKAY, GIRLS, I'M JUST
GONNA GRAB A FEW THINGS,

AND THEN WE'LL...

OH, RHODA, I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE WORKING THIS WEEKEND.

I GOT LONELY AT MY HOUSE.

OKAY.
WELL, HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND.

SO, LYLA,
I AM GOING TO DROP YOU OFF

ON THE WAY TO TAKING ANNIE
TO KARATE PRACTICE.

I DON'T WANT TO GO
TO KARATE PRACTICE.

I'M NOT EVEN GOOD AT IT.
LYLA THINKS I SHOULD QUIT.

KARATE'S LAME.

YOU'RE NOT QUITTING.
YOU BEGGED ME TO DO THIS.



YEAH, BUT THAT'S BEFORE
I KNEW HOW LAME IT WAS.

SO LAME.

LYLA, LIGHTEN UP.
WEAR SOME PINK.

YOU'RE GOING.
OUR FAMILY DOESN'T QUIT.

YOU DID.

YOU QUIT BEFORE THE FIRST
OFFICE KICKBALL PRACTICE.

YOU JUST SIGNED UP AND GRABBED A T-SHIRT. I MEANT
TO GO TO KICKBALL, BUT I'VE GOT THINGS TO DO.

I'VE GOT KIDS, MORE KIDS...

BRING YOUR KIDS.
EVERYONE BRINGS THEIR KIDS.

IT'S NOT FAIR.
IF YOU CAN QUIT, I CAN QUIT.

WHY DO I HAVE TO GO TO KARATE?
WHY DO I HAVE TO-- BECAUSE I SAID SO!

I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY SAID,
"BECAUSE I SAID SO!"

I SWORE I'D NEVER SAY THAT TO MY KIDS.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

"BECAUSE I SAID SO" --
THAT'S PARENTING GOLD.



IF KIDS EVER FIGURE OUT
A RESPONSE TO THAT ONE,

WE ARE SCREWED. YOU KNOW, I PREFER,
"BECAUSE IT IS IN THE BEST INTEREST

OF YOUR WELL-BEING." YOU KNOW WHAT?
ANNIE USED TO BE SO EASY TO TALK TO,

AND NOW SHE'S A PRETEEN. SHE'S
ALL, "YOU'RE LAME. THIS SUCKS."

I THINK SHE'S GETTING ONE BOOB. YOU KNOW,
I USED TO BE A BIT OF A REBEL AT THAT AGE.

ONCE--YOU MAY REMEMBER THIS--I
WORE WHITE SHOES BEFORE EASTER.

WHAT?

THAT'S CRAZY. ONE TIME I WORE
ONLY WHITE SHOES ON EASTER.

I DON'T WANT ANNIE TO MAKE
THE SAME MISTAKES I DID.

WHEN I WAS A KID,
I QUIT EVERYTHING--

PIANO, TENNIS, BALLET.

WHEN I GOT MY YEARBOOK, IT JUST
SAID, "JANE MORTON--SEÑOR."

PRETTY SURE
IT JUST SAID "SENIOR."

OH. I THOUGHT IT WAS
'CAUSE I WAS GOOD IN SPANISH.

OKAY. SO I DIDN'T EVEN GET THAT.
YOU KNOW, I HAD SO MANY ACTIVITIES,

THEY ACTUALLY BLED
INTO THE NEXT PAGE.

MINE SAID, "ROSEMARY--
ARTIST, HEALER, LOVER."

OH, WAIT,
THAT WAS JUNIOR HIGH.

I DON'T WANT ANNIE TO THINK
THAT SHE CAN JUST QUIT

WHEN SOMETHING GETS TOUGH.

I THINK I'M GONNA HAVE
TO GO BACK TO KICKBALL...

(groans)
AND LEAD BY EXAMPLE.

OH.

YOU KNOW, I AM JUST SO BLESSED
THAT MY KIDS REALLY LOVE

ALL THEIR ACTIVITIES. BILL--OH,
HE HAS SUCH A CREATIVE SPARK.

HE HAS THIS IMAGINARY FRIEND
RIGHT NOW NAMED BEE-BOP.

HOW CUTE IS THAT? THAT IS CUTE.
UNLESS, OF COURSE, HE'S SCHIZOPHRENIC.

WELL, TIME WILL TELL.

HONEY, PLEASE TAKE A BITE OF YOUR FOOD.
NO. NEVER!

HONEY, TAKE ONE BITE.
NO! NEVER!

UGH. THAT MOM NEEDS TO DO
SOMETHING ABOUT HER KID.

I'M GONNA GIVE HER THE LOOK.
JUST TAKE ONE BITE.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO...
I'M SO SORRY, LADIES. I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING.

I KNOW IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
I'M A TOTAL STRANGER,

BUT WOULD YOU MIND
IF MAYBE I TRIED SOMETHING?

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER,
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER... YEAH, SURE.

WHAT'S HIS NAME?
IT'S OWEN.

OWEN? HE'S ADORABLE. HEY, OWEN.
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER...

AND HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY?
(makes clicking sound) SHH!

GOT HIM.

OH, MY GOD.
WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?

OH, IT'S A LITTLE SOMETHING
I PICKED UP

FROM THE DOG WHISPERER. OKAY,
ROSEMARY, IT'S REALLY NOT APPROPRIATE--

SHH! ANYBODY ELSE?

♪♪

OKAY, HONEY, ON WEDNESDAY
IT LOOKS LIKE BILL HAS FENCING

AT THE SAME TIME AS
ESTHER'S IRISH DANCE CLASS.

SO I GUESS I'LL DO THE DANCE CLASS AND--
COME ON. YOU KNOW I LIKE IRISH DANCE--

HOW THEY MOVE THE LOWER HALF
OF THEIR BODY,

BUT THEY DON'T MOVE THE UPPER.
I KNOW. YOU GOT PUNK'D!

OH, LOOK AT YOU.
LEAVE ME ALONE!

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
GUYS, WHAT HAPPENED?

BILL CUT MY DOLL'S HAIR.

YOU DIDN'T DO THAT TO YOUR
SISTER'S DOLL, DID YOU, SWEETIE?

NO.

IT WAS BEE-BOP.

IS THERE ANY CHANCE
BEE-BOP IS REAL?

STOP IT.

ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

COME ON, SHEP!
WHOO, SHEPPY!

ALL RIGHT, WAY TO GO!
(clapping)

CAN WE GO? IT'S HOT.
THE SUN'S LAME.

GUESS WHAT? NO, IT'S NOT.

THE SUN IS THE SOURCE
OF ALL ENERGY AND LIGHT,

AND YOU'RE STAYING
'CAUSE I WANT YOU TO SEE

HOW GREAT IT IS TO BE
PART OF AN ACTIVITY

AND BOND WITH FRIENDS.

HEY, SPAZ!
YOU JOINING US OR NOT?

OOH, NICKNAMES!
YEAH, I'M PART OF A TEAM.

I'M GOOD!
ALL RIGHT, WE GOT THE BIG GAME

AGAINST CHAPMAN AND BENSEN
NEXT WEEK--

MORE LIKE CRAPMAN AND BENSEN.

ACTUALLY, BENSEN'S
A PRETTY GOOD GUY.

HEY, I'M REALLY GLAD YOU CAME.
IT'LL BE FUN.

YEAH.

WOW,
YOU'RE SWEATING A LOT.

AM I?

NO, NO, NO, NO. IT'S GOOD.
YOU'RE GLOWING.

YOU HAVE A NICE, SHINY COAT.
THANK YOU.

ADULTS IN SHORTS ARE LAME.

YOU KNOW, LYLA,
WITH THAT ATTITUDE,

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
ACCOMPLISH IN LIFE?

I'M GONNA WRITE A BOOK
ABOUT HOW LAME EVERYTHING IS,

SELL THE MOVIE RIGHTS
AND WIN A BUNCH OF OSCARS.

WOW, THAT'S A GREAT PLAN.

MAYBE ONE DAY I COULD BE
YOUR ASSISTANT.

NO. ALL RIGHT, GUYS, LET'S TAKE
IT IN FOR SOME BATTING PRACTICE.

GREAT, THANKS. BRING IT IN.

OKAY, RHODA, YOU'RE UP.

LET'S GO. EASY OUT.

EASY OUT.

WHATEVER.
OKAY, JANE, YOU'RE UP.

LET'S SEE WHAT
THOSE CANKLES CAN DO.

LET'S GO, JANE!

OH, EVERYBODY, STEP ASIDE!
BACK IT UP! (man) COME ON, JANE!

BIG KICKER. BACK IT UP.
(imitates truck beeping)

ALL RIGHT.

♪♪

(laughter)

YOU ARE NOT GOOD
AT THIS GAME AT ALL.

HOW COULD YOU MISS
A BALL THAT HUGE?

SCIENTIFICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

I'M SORRY.
I DON'T MEAN TO LAUGH.

I JUST-- I JUST LOVE WHEN PEOPLE FALL. OKAY,
GUYS, KNOCK IT OFF. MY KID'S WATCHING.

YEAH, NO, SHE'S NOT.

NO, ANNIE, IT'S OKAY!

THIS IS FUN!

ANNIE, COME BACK!

WOW. ROUGH PRACTICE, MOM,
BUT I LEARNED A LOT.

THANKS FOR SHOWING ME
WHEN IT'S TIME TO QUIT.

QUIT? NO.

I MAY HAVE TAKEN
A FEW FALLS OUT THERE,

BUT IT FELT GOOD
TO BE PART OF A TEAM.

THEN WHY DID YOU CRY
ON THE CAR RIDE HOME?

THOSE WERE HAPPY TEARS--

TEARS OF JOY
FOR NOT QUITTING!

EW. I DON'T WANT PEAS
FOR DINNER.

WELL, YOU'RE GETTIN' 'EM...

RIGHT AFTER I USE 'EM.

MOM!

KICKBALL IS SO LAME.

OH, HEY! HEY, HEY, HEY.
HEY, REMEMBER ME?

COME HERE. COME HERE.

(under breath) KILL ME.

(normal voice) HEY.

WHAT'S UP, SWEATER SET?

I WAS JUST TELLING MY FRIENDS
HOW YOU SAVED MY SON

FROM A MELTDOWN THE OTHER DAY.
IT WOULD HAVE TAKEN SIX SESSIONS

OF THERAPY FOR WHAT YOU DID IN A DAY.
I WOULD LOVE YOUR HELP WITH MY BABY.

WE'VE BEEN DOING
THE FERBER METHOD AT NIGHT,

BUT SHE KEEPS CRYING,
AND THEN I START CRYING...

(voice breaking) AND THEN
SHE CRIES MORE. NEW MOM?

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

'CAUSE YOU HAVE MORE BARF ON
YOUR SHIRT THAN BUTTONS. OH, GOD.

NEW MOMS ARE GROSS.

YOU KNOW, WE COULD REALLY USE
ADVICE FROM A MOTHER LIKE YOU.

I SAW HER SON IN HERE THE OTHER
DAY, AND HE WAS AMAZING.

HE WAS SO SMART
AND FUNNY AND HANDSOME.

TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH,
LETOURNEAU. HE'S ALSO 15.

I CAN'T GET MY DAUGHTER
TO GIVE UP HER PACIFIER.

WELL, I CAN HELP YOU
WITH THAT.

HI, DARLING. THANK YOU.
(whines softly)

LOOK AT THIS.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!

TRAIN GOING INTO THE STATION.
OH, NO, IT'S NOT.

WORKS WITH WHISKEY, TOO.
ANYTHING ELSE?

SO WE'RE JUST--WE'RE DRINKING BEFORE
DARK, BABE? HONEY, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THIS MUSIC RECITAL WAS AWFUL.

I SAW BILL THROW A TAMBOURINE
AT ANOTHER KID,

AND HE STILL BLAMED IT
ON BEE-BOP. I MEAN, GRANTED,

HE TIMED HIS THROW PERFECTLY
WITH THE MUSIC... YEAH.

BUT ALL THE OTHER MOMS SAW IT,
AND THEY GAVE ME THE LOOK.

WHAT LOOK?

NO!
YES.

THAT'S YOUR LOOK TO GIVE. I KNOW!
THAT'S WHY WE HAVE TO FIX THIS.

I MEAN, WHAT IF HE
TURNS OUT LIKE THOSE BOYS

I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH?
WHAT BOYS?

(lowers voice) THE ONES WHO WEREN'T IN A.P.
CLASSES. NO, DON'T YOU SAY THAT.

(normal voice) I'M SAYING IT.
DON'T SAY THAT, OKAY? YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE CAN HANDLE THIS.
LET'S GO GET THE FLASH CARDS.

WE'LL GET BILL.
COME HERE, BILL! BILL!

HEY, HEY, HAVE A SEAT, BUDDY.
HAVE A--HAVE A SEAT.

LISTEN, YOUR DAD AND I
WANT TO TALK TO YOU

ABOUT YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND
BEE-BOP.

BEE-BOP'S NOT IMAGINARY.
BEE-BOP'S REAL.

OKAY, I THINK WE'RE HAVING
A-A PROBLEM WITH THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN MAKE-BELIEVE
AND REAL.

OKAY, SO TO MAKE
THINGS MORE CLEAR,

DADDY, YOU'RE ON.
YES. YES.

OKAY.

UH, PRINCESS GISELLE
IS MAKE-BELIEVE.

OKAY. AWARD-NOMINATED ACTRESS
AMY ADAMS--

REAL... AND ADORABLE.

YEAH.
SHE'S VERY CUTE.

A HORSE--THAT'S REAL.

A UNICORN--MAKE-BELIEVE.

NOW THIS WAS A HARD PILL
FOR ME TO SWALLOW, TOO.

STILL BURNS A LITTLE.
MAYBE STILL OUT THERE.

NOPE, IT'S NOT. (lowers voice) THEY
DON'T KNOW. THEY DON'T KNOW THAT.

OUR HANDSOME SON BILL--
HE'S REAL.

BEE-BOP--MAKE-BELIEVE.

'CAUSE IF YOU CAN'T SEE IT,
IT DOESN'T EXIST.

(whispers) GOOD JOB.

THEN WHAT ABOUT GOD?
YOU CAN'T SEE GOD.

WHY DON'T WE JUST STICK TO THE--TO
THE FLASH CARDS? YEAH. YEP.

SO WHAT IF MILK HAS HORMONES?
YOUR DAUGHTER GETS BOOBS BY 10.

WHAT GIRL DOESN'T WANT THAT? NEXT. OH, I READ
RECENTLY IN ONE OF THE PARENTING BOOKS--

SCREW BOOKS.
BOOKS PUT YOU UP HERE.

I WANT YOU RIGHT DOWN HERE.

GOTTA PARENT
FROM THE GUT, LADIES.

LET'S GROW A PAIR. NEXT QUESTION. I CAN'T
GET MY SON TO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT.

OH, BOY. I REMEMBER THAT ONE.
MY SON USED TO WAKE ME UP

AT 10 A.M.!

YOU KNOW WHAT SOLVED IT?

BLACKOUT CURTAINS
IN THE NURSERY.

DONE AND DONE. MY DAUGHTER KEEPS TAKING
OFF HER CLOTHES AND RUNNING AROUND.

I DON'T SEE A PROBLEM
WITH THAT.

THIS IS GREAT. YOU'RE LIKE
SUZE ORMAN FOR MOMS.

COME ON, ANNIE.
YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE!

I DON'T KNOW TO GO TO KARATE.
HONEY, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.

YOU HAVE TO HONOR
YOUR COMMITMENTS,

EVEN THOUGH IT MIGHT
NOT ALWAYS BE FUN.

BUT LOOK,
LIFE IS 15% INSPIRATION

AND 90% PERSPIRATION.

OKAY, I MIGHT BE OFF
ON MY NUMBERS, BUT THE POINT IS,

YOU'RE GOING.
FINE. I'LL GO.

AND SO WILL I.

(voice vibrating) AH. THIS IS
SO MUCH BETTER THAN KICKBALL.

SUCH A BETTER USE OF MY FEET.

I WAS ON MY WAY TO THE FIELD,
AND I SAW

YOUR MANI/PEDI SPECIAL,
AND IT JUST SUCKED ME RIGHT IN.

(voice vibrating) OH, YEAH.

WHAT THE...

(normal voice) OH, NO WAY!

ANNIE! SKIPPING KARATE? YOU'RE
IN BIG TROUBLE, YOUNG LADY.

YOU KNOW I HATE IT. YEAH.
DIDN'T YOU SEE HER TWITTER FEEDS?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS.
ANNIE, YOU LIED TO ME.

YOU'RE GROUNDED.
QUIT TRYING TO CONTROL ME.

I'M NOT! NOW STAND UP
STRAIGHT AND BE QUIET.

DO NOT MOVE A MUSCLE.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

WAIT.

WHY AREN'T YOU AT KICKBALL?

BECAUSE I SAID SO!

OKAY, SO WE HAD
A LITTLE SETBACK,

BUT WE'RE GONNA REDEDICATE
OURSELVES TO OUR SPORTS.

WE'RE ALL GONNA PRACTICE TODAY.
SO WHY DON'T YOU GUYS

GET IN THERE AND SHOW
YOUR COUSIN SOME OF THOSE MOVES?

AND, ANNIE, YOU'RE GOING TO MY KICKBALL GAME
ON SATURDAY. NO! THAT'S LYLA'S POETRY SLAM.

WHY DO I GET PUNISHED

FOR SKIPPING PRACTICE,
AND YOU DON'T? GOAL!

BELIEVE ME,
THIS IS PUNISHMENT.

(glass shatters)
HEY, WHAT WAS THAT?

(Bill) BEE-BOP DID IT!
SO THIS BEE-BOP THING IS STILL HAPPENING?

(sighs) YES,
AND I HAVE READ EVERY BOOK,

GONE TO EVERY
MOMMY MESSAGE BOARD.

HEY, CAN I ASK YOU
SOME ADVICE?

YOU KNOW, MOM TO MOM?
YEAH, OF COURSE.

WHAT'S IT LIKE TO HAVE
A KID WITH A PROBLEM?

JUST THROW ME THE BALL.
WHAT? WHAT DID I DO?

OKAY. ALL RIGHT, YOU READY FOR THIS?
OKAY.

OKAY. AND...

OKAY, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

THE TIMING ON THAT
WAS REALLY WEIRD.

OH, GOD.
I'M SO SUCKY AT KICKBALL.

ARE YOU ABOUT TO HAVE NERD RAGE? I DON'T
KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! JUST SHUT UP!

GIVE IT TO ME AGAIN.

PUT SOME OF THE POWER
INTO THAT KICK.

I AM WIPED.

MM.

WHAT'S THE HIZZY,
MY BIZZLES?

HEY.
HEY, ROSEMARY.

WHAT IS UP WITH THE CLEAR LIQUID
THAT EVERYBODY IS DRINKING?

WATER.

OHH. LISTEN, J. JAMS,

GOT A FLAVOR TO ASK.
YEAH?

I WOULD LIKE TO BORROW
AN ARTICLE OF CLOTHING FROM YOU.

HOW DO I SAY IT? IT'S BOXY.
IT'S GOT A THING--

OPEN, A SLEEVE, A PANT.

A SUIT?

SUIT. SUIT.
SUCH A WEIRD WORD.

YEAH, THE MOMS
DOWN AT THE COFFEE SHOP

WANT ME TO HOST
A PARENTING SEMINAR,

AND I JUST WANTED TO BE SURE
TO WEAR SOMETHING

THAT'S VERY NONTHREATENING
AND ASEXUAL,

SO I KNEW YOU'D BE MY MAN.

Y-YOUARE RUNNING
A PARENTING SEMINAR?

THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
THAT'S SHOCKING, REALLY.

I KNOW.
IT'S ABOUT TIME, RIGHT?

I THINK THE WORLD IS FINALLY
READY FOR ROSE MOMMY.

ROSE MOMMY?

MY GURU NAME.
EMILY, SWING BY WITH BILL,

AND I WILL TAKE CARE OF THAT
IMAGINARY FRIEND PROBLEM

FOR YOU LICKETY-SPLIT. THANK YOU, BUT NO.
EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.

EVERYTHING IS NOT OKAY! BILL, YOU CAN'T
PUT YOUR MOM'S CLOTHES ON THE GRILL!

THOSE WERE MY FAVORITE PANTS.
BEE-BOP DOESN'T LIKE YOUR CLOTHES.

OH, YEAH? WELL, BEE-BOP DOESN'T READ
"IN STYLE" MAGAZINE. YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT'S LIKE THE LINEN
JUST KIND OF FANS THE FLAME.

BABE, HE'S OUT OF CONTROL.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

MAYBE LIKE A-- LIKE A TIME-OUT? YES, YES.
WE'LL TAKE A "T." WE'LL HUDDLE UP.

NO, NO, NO. GIVE HIM A TIME-OUT.
OR--OR WE GIVE BEE-BOP A TIME-OUT.

STOP TALKING ABOUT BEE-BOP!
I SWEAR TO GOD, IF I HEAR

THAT NAME ONE MORE TIME, I AM GONNA...
(screams) (laughs)

BEE-BOP THINKS THAT'S FUNNY.

BILL...

GET... IN... THE CAR.

(amplified voice) OKAY, LADIES,
WHAT DO WE SAY?

DON'T BE CRYBABIES!

(all) MOM UP!

LET'S HAVE A HAND FOR HORATIO
WHO'S PLAYING "CHILD" TONIGHT.

GREAT JOB.
I'VE TAKEN IMPROV CLASSES.

IT SHOWS. ONE OF YOU LOOKS RIDICULOUS.
ROSEMARY--

UH, ROSE MOMMY.

FINE. ROSE MOMMY.
I NEED YOUR HELP.

LOUDER?
NO.

IT TAKES A BRAVE PARENT
TO ASK FOR HELP.

OH, THANKS, GRETCHEN.

ARE YOU, UH, HAVING A PROBLEM
WITH YOUR KIDS, TOO?

OH, NO, NO. I'M JUST COVERING
THE EVENT FOR MY MOMMY BLOG.

BUT BIG UPS TO YOU, EM.

HEY, MR. JAZZ HANDS.
WHY DON'T YOU MOONWALK UP HERE?

I COULD USE YOU. HORATIO, YOU'RE DONE.
HE DOESN'T HAVE MY STAGE PRESENCE.

OKAY, IT'S JUST GETTING SAD.
PLEASE GO.

ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.
THE GURU'S GONNA WORK HER MAGIC.

I'M GONNA TEACH YOU GUYS
HOW TO GET RID OF...

(whispers)
AN IMAGINARY FRIEND...

(normal voice) ONCE AND FOR ALL.
BILL, MAY I

PLEASE TALK WITH YOUR VERY,
VERY GOOD FRIEND MR. BEE-BOP?

THANK YOU. HELLO, MR. BEE-BOP.
HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

HE'S A CHARMER.

NO, I HAVEN'T LOST WEIGHT,
BUT THAT'S SWEET OF YOU.

OKAY, GUESS WHAT?
I GOT YOU A PRESENT.

IT'S RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET.
GO ON WITH YOUR BAD SELF.

HURRY UP. HE'S ADORABLE.
GO ON.

GO ON, YOU CRAZY LITTLE DOODAD.
OH, HE'S FAST.

KEEP GOING. IT'S A BOX
OF PUPPIES, MR. BEE-BOP!

HURRY UP, DARLING!
JUST A LITTLE BIT FURTHER.

(bus rumbles past)
OH! AND HE GOT HIT BY A BUS.

MOMMY!
SHE KILLED MY BEST FRIEND.

OKAY, WHO WANTS A PUPPY?
IT'S A CORGI MIX.

I GOT HIM! BEE-BOP'S GONNA
BE OKAY. MOMMY KNOWS C.P.R.

HE'S FLATLINING!
HAND ME THE PADDLES.

(imitates electrical charge)
GO TO THE LIGHT, BEE-BOP.

THIS IS REALLY NOT HELPING.

THAT'S THE GRIEF TALKING.
I'LL PLAY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATOR.

BEE-BOP,
WE'RE DENYING YOUR INSURANCE.

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.

TOO SOON!

IT'S OKAY, MOMMY.

I KNOW BEE-BOP'S NOT REAL.

YOU DO?

WELL, HONEY,
WHY DID YOU MAKE HIM UP?

I WAS MAD. I NEVER HAVE TIME
TO PLAY WITH MY REAL FRIENDS.

I HAVE SO MUCH STUFF TO DO.

OH, FOR GOD SAKES.
SOMEBODY COVER HIM.

HE'S LOOKING RIGHT AT ME.

OH, SWEETIE,
I'M SORRY I OVERSCHEDULED YOU.

YOU'RE JUST SO GOOD
AT EVERYTHING...

LIKE YOUR MOTHER.

HEY, HOW ABOUT TOMORROW
WE BLOW OFF SQUASH,

AND YOU CAN JUST RELAX
AND READ A TEXTBOOK.

OKAY?

OH.

WELL, ROSE MOMMY RIDES AGAIN.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO, YOU GUYS.
LET'S GO. BRING IT IN. (cheering)

(growls) JANE,
GREAT JOB IN THE OUTFIELD.

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
I KNOW. IT WAS GREAT.

YEAH! THERE YOU GO.

HEY.

SHE'S SO BAD.

WHY IS SHE DOING THIS?

WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING?
(man) COME ON, JEROME!

SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DO THIS.
SHE'S OUT THERE PLAYING FOR YOU,

SO YOU DON'T QUIT KARATE.
NUH-UNH.

UH-HUH. LOOK AT HER.
(man) WHOA!

(cheering)

YEAH! WHOO!
JORGE!

SHE'S MISERABLE.

THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL LOVE,
LITTLE SENSEI.

SHE'S OUT THERE SWINGING

AND MISSING HER LITTLE
HEART OUT FOR YOU.

SHE'S LIKE A CRAZY,
FLOPPIN' DUMB CLOWN OUT THERE.

PSST. HEY, ANNIE.

WHAT YOU DOING? HOP ON MY PEGS.
YOU CAN STILL MAKE MY POETRY SLAM.

YOUR MOM'S UP.

YOU GOT IT. COME ON, JANE!

COME ON, JANE!
COME ON!

COME ON.

UM...

I'M SORRY, LYLA.
I-I'M GONNA STAY HERE. I CAN'T.

THAT'S LAME.

COME ON, MOMMY!
YOU CAN DO IT! WHOO!

OKAY, FEET, COME ON. WORK.

♪♪

WHOO!

WHOO! WHOO!

WHOO!

(grunting)

WHOO! I DID IT!

YOU DID IT, MOM! YOU MADE CONTACT
WITH THE BALL! I DID, DIDN'T I?

MOM, I'M GONNA STICK WITH KARATE.
OH, HONEY, THAT'S GREAT.

BLAIR! WHY DIDN'T YOU RUN?

FOUL BALL!
WHAT?

FOUL BALL, YOU BIG DUM-DUM!

OH, RIGHT!
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

THAT MEANS YOU HAVE
TO KICK AGAIN.

OH, NO.
GO, MOM. I'M WATCHING!

OH, NO.

SO WE ARE CANCELING
GYMNASTICS ON THURSDAY,

BUT BILL SAYS HE STILL
WANTS TO DO PIANO.

OKAY. OH, AND IF JANE ASKS, BILL
AND ESTHER ARE NOT QUITTING.

THEY'RE MERELY
OPENING TIME IN THE DAY

SO THERE IS ROOM
FOR GROWTH.

(doorbell rings)

HEY, EMS. HEY, JACE.
HEY, ROSEMARY.

EMILY,
I CAME OVER TO APOLOGIZE

FOR WHAT HAPPENED
AT THE SEMINAR.

I FEEL LIKE MAYBE I WENT A
LITTLE BIT TOO FAR. "MAYBE"?

OKAY, YOU'RE RIGHT, I DIDN'T.
BUT STILL, I GOT YOU THIS.

OH.
COME ON, OPEN IT.

WELL, THANK YOU.
THAT'S VERY SWEET. YEAH.

LOOK INSIDE. IT'S AN IMAGINARY
TEDDY BEAR FOR BILL.

HIS NAME'S THEODORE. LOOK,
HE LIKES TO SIT BY THE APPLES.

AND THEN LOOK AT THIS, JASON!

WHOO! OVEN MITTS!

OH, THANK YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

SHE IS... OKAY.

WE'LL BE CHILLIN'
AND GRILLIN' WITH THIS BABY.

THAT IS STURDY.
NEXT TO TEDDY.

AND THEN LOOK RIGHT
IN THERE, IN THE CORNER--

THE 30 BUCKS I BORROWED
FROM YOU LAST WEEK. GET OUT.

OKAY. I'M GONNA TAKE THE BOX. I WANT YOU
TO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. OUT! THANK YOU.