In Treatment (2008–2010): Season 3, Episode 8 - Adele: Week Two - full transcript

Hi, I'm Adele Brouse.

Paul Weston.

Please, come inside.

I didn't expect you
to be so... young.

Does my age bother you?

If you're able
to fill out a prescription,

then your age doesn't
bother me at all.

You said on the phone
you're in need of a refill.

I explained that my sleep
has been difficult.

I can't just dispense
medication without...

Fine. Go ahead.



You're afraid you
may have Parkinson's.

Do you think it has something to do
with the dream that you've been having?

I've actually been in treatment
for the last 20 years.

I really didn't come today
to continue that process.

My door is always open to you.

What did you just say?

I feel that
I'm growing intimate

With your outgoing message.

Anyway, Gina, it's Paul.

I'm not certain
if you got my last...

Well, why wouldn't you
have gotten

My last message?

In any event, I...

I've yet to hear back from you.



And let's just say

That you've made some
pretty interesting

Character choices in your novel

Which I...

I wanted to talk to you about.

So could you
call me back, please,

So that I...

I...

Thank you for seeing me.

Of course.

I know that I was a bit...

Difficult the last time.

A bit reluctant to engage in...

Anyway, my situation
has changed.

My son Max

Is living with me.

I arrived home from
our session last week

And he was sitting
on the doorstep.

He'd come up from Baltimore

On the train
by himself with his...

With his suitcase.

And he was saying

That he wanted to live with me.

He's 12.

That is quite a change.

Of course my ex-wife
is furious with me

For allowing him to stay

And for enrolling him
in the wrong school

And who knows how many
other transgressions.

How has it been for you

To have Max living
in your home?

You spoke last time

About feeling alienated
from your children.

Well, it's been two years
since I lived with them.

And when I did, I'd have to say

That Kate was more

Primary in their lives,

At least in the
day-to-day stuff, yeah.

So this is the first time
you'll be playing that part.

Mm, a critical age, 12.

They're just on the edge of...

Everything really.

Does that feel like
a lot of pressure?

I do...
I do feel pressure,

But not...

The other morning I was
passing the cereal to Max

And...

My hand started to shake.

He didn't notice, but...

As much as I want
to have Max with me,

At some int very soon

I'm gonna have to tell
him about my illness.

That I...

That I have Parkinson's.

I just owe it to him
to do it correctly,

To discuss it with somebody

And to do it...
to do it right.

That's why I'm here.

That's why I came back.

I'm glad you did.

You had said you were
seeing a neurologist.

I also have to admit

That you were right
about something last week.

Okay.

You asked me if I have
someone to talk to,

Who I confide in.

Well, I don't really.

Wendy's becoming
less and less that person.

And now that Max
is living with me,

I've had to ban her
from staying over.

Well, what I mean is ask.

I've had to ask her

Not to stay over
at my apartment.

Would she prefer
to stay with you?

She'd have her name
on the lease on Tuesday

If I'd agree to it.

And a fridge
full of soy products.

She keeps asking
to meet Max.

She... she says
she loves kids.

But I had to say no.

You know, I just think

That he's so disturbed

From living with Kate

And her fiancé

That I just don't think it's fair
to put him in that position.

Has Max talked to you
about being disturbed?

Oh, he's been
begging me for weeks

To come live with me, saying
how much he hates Steve.

That's the fiancé...
Steve?

Yes yes.
I'd actually expected

My daughter Rosie

To have a harder time
living with him and Kate,

But she hasn't.

Why did you expect Rosie
to have a harder time?

'cause we used to be

Close.

Well, certainly closer
than we are now, yeah.

Are you equally worried to talk
with her about your medical...?

You were also right about
something else last week.

Oh, what's that?

About Gina toll.

You questioned her professional
judgment last week.

I defended her.

Now that I've been
reading her new book,

I have to say
that you were right.

You're not enjoying the book?

She's revealed herself to be

Completely indiscreet,
utterly selfish.

In my opinion, she should
have her license revoked.

So you were right.

Is it easier for you
to justify coming here

If you think of Gina as
selfish and me as right?

Excuse me?

Last week you had
real doubts about me,

And this week you're telling me
I'm right about quite a lot.

Jesus Christ, some people

Really have a hard time
taking a compliment.

Look, you were right about her.

I don't know
how else to say it.

It took you 30 minutes to
discern something about Gina

That I apparently was blind to

For 25 years.

While I was chatting away
about my problems,

She was contriving the basis

Of one of the most
miserable characters

That I have ever
encountered in a novel.

Like the demon spawn
of Bartleby and Shylock...

This depressive,
groveling outcast.

It's just despicable.

She's despicable.

And now she's avoiding
my phone calls.

She won't return my messages.

You seem quite convinced...

And if you read the book,
it's perfectly obvious.

The guy is
an associate Professor

At an East coast college,

Repeatedly denied tenure by the
chairwoman of the department.

Gina toll famously
denied me the opportunity

To head up
the psychoanalytic institute.

In the novel
she describes this guy

As obsessed
with his students...

Their academic work,
with their personal lives.

So much so that he ignores
his real relationship...

The lovely wife
and the two kids.

In one bit she says
that this guy is

Self-sabotaging,
self-defeating,

That he's in a prison
of his own making.

She even calls the guy John,

As if she needed to be more overt
about who she's attacking.

John was my father's name.

- John?
- Yeah.

You're reading this
as a personal attack.

You don't believe me?

I don't know what Gina's
doing or not doing.

I am much more interested in
how certain you seem to be

That she's based one of her
main characters on you.

Do you think
I'm making this up?

Can you tell me which part of
what she wrote is most upsetting?

All of it.
The whole lot of it.

Everything.

There aren't specific passages
in it that stand out for you?

You mentioned
in particular the phrases

"self-defeating," "self sabotaging.
" can you tell me about...?

No, I can't.
Listen, let's just...

Let's just move on from that.

There's nothing to be done.

It's not a question of whether
there's something to be done or not.

Look, I just don't want to
talk about Gina toll anymore.

I'll finish reading the book.

And then if you like

We could get back to it
next week.

Can you explain one...?

Please, you know what?
I...

Is your hand bothering you?

No.

Earlier you said
you're concerned about

How best to tell Max
you have Parkinson's.

You mentioned last week
you're seeing a neurologist.

Yes.

Did you see a neurologist?

You seem reluctant to tell
me what the doctor said.

Oh, I mean, you go
to a top specialist,

Cornell's fancy new wing,

State-of-the-art...

You'd think he'd at least order

A c.A.T. Scan
or an m.R.I.

He didn't do that?

He asked me to touch my nose,

Walk down the hall,
hop on one foot.

And?
How was that?

I touched my nose.
I walked. I hopped.

Then he told me
that Parkinson's

Is a hard disease to diagnose.

That they misdiagnose
30% of the time.

He said the scans can't
really tell you anything

Until the later stages.

But for you at this point
he thought...?

He thought, after our
low-tech encounter,

That I'm not exhibiting
enough symptoms

For a positive diagnosis.

He said we'd have to
wait and see.

You don't seem
terribly relieved.

I was so fucking relieved
I actually called up Wendy

And asked her out for sushi.

She seemed shocked.

She kept remarking about
how up I seemed.

So we sat down to lunch

And I thought to myself,

"wow, here I am

Opposite this beautiful,
fun woman."

I found myself wondering
why I ever doubted her.

Sounds as if the doctor's visit
had a significant effect.

Yeah, it did
for about 20 minutes.

And then the food arrived.

If you're worried about
your hand shaking,

Don't hold a piece of fish

Between two 10" sticks of wood.

I have an appointment
in two weeks.

I'm gonna get a second opinion.

You're seeing
another neurologist?

Yes.

Well, I've had these
symptoms for four months

And they're not
getting any better.

It runs in my family.
I think I owe myself

A second opinion.

Don't tell me you disagree.

If it will make you more comfortable
to get a second opinion,

That's probably
something you should do.

You're genuinely frightened
about being sick.

How has your sleep been
this week?

Do you wake up
thinking about all this?

I take a pill and...

Are you still king up
after several hours?

Are you still having
the same dream?

Yes.

What, are you hoping
for another compliment?

I'm sorry?

Another compliment to reject?

I'm not sure I...

Are you hoping I'll tell you
that your theory was right?

That my dream contains images

Of entrapment and paralysis?

That's what you asked me
at the end of last week.

Does it?

Not that it was such a terribly
difficult guess to make,

But yeah.

So go ahead,

Make a note in your book...

"patient continues
to lionize therapist

To justify replacement
of long-term analyst."

I'll make a mental note.

Sounds good.

Will you tell me
what you've been dreaming?

I'm...

I'm running

Along the outside of this

Tall wrought-iron
fence.

I'm outside.
It's a field,

Daytime, really bright.

The fence starts to curve

And I can sense

This opening up ahead...

Gates.

And I have this tremendous
feeling of excitement.

My heart is thumping.
I have this anticipation.

And then

My legs just...

They get...
they get heavy

And I'm slowing down

As if I'm stuck in quicksand.

And I can't move.

I sense something behind me.

And I turn my head.

And...

It's my father.

He's walking towards me.

I'm paralyzed.
He's coming closer.

And he's lurching

Towards me.

And...

And then I wake up
with a start.

I just startle awake.

I've been having
that dream for months,

Since just after
the symptoms started.

I...

Think I'm becoming my father.

I'm being overtaken by him.

I've tried my best
to ignore it...

The symptoms of the disease,

The coming paralysis.

Then I have the dream again

And it's...
it's clear to me

What it's communicating.

I just can't...

I can't ignore it anymore.

I woke up the other night,
I went to check on Max.

I watched him sleep.

I just can't bear the thought

Of what I might be
passing on to him.

Besides the physical issues,

Are there personal traits

You worry about passing on
to your children?

What, Parkinson's isn't enough?

I asked you before,
but you didn't answer...

How has your relationship been
with Max since he arrived?

It's been a full week.

Honestly,

I've been worried about him.

He just has his head in his
sketchbook eight hours a day.

He's got this
leather-grade callus

On his fingers from
where he grips the pen.

What are his drawings like?

Gloomy, abstract,
vaguely violent.

My teenage patient Jesse

Happened to see him
in the hallway

Outside my apartment.

He said he seemed sad,

Headed for a world of pain.

It's hard to hear him
describe Max like at?

Yes, it was.

Jesse's been trying to get me

To ask his social worker
out on a date.

He says

She's sad just like me.

Is that how you see yourself?

As sad?
Why do you ask?

What, do you think of me
as chipper?

Could that be what you're worried
about passing on to Max?

Well, I hope that
he's happier than I am,

And healthier.

But, you see,
you have to understand,

That's a major part of it...
being sick...

The burden I'll be
placing on them.

Not so easy to be happy when you
got that dragging you down.

"dragging me down"...
that's very similar

To how you described
yourself in the dream.

You feel this weight
in your dream

Is connected
to the Parkinson's.

I'm being pursued by my father,

Overtaken by his illness.

That's one interpretation.

You described yourself

As running along
a wrought-iron fence

In a field.

Do you have any associations
with that place,

Where you might be?

The feeling you describe...

I'm just...
I'm just running.

I-I-I...

As I said, I feel excited.

There's this feeling of,

I don't know, possibility.

And my father stops me

Just like he did in life.

As he's doing now
with my genetic inheritance.

I'm struck by the fact that you

Become stuck, begin to slow

Before you turn and see
your father approaching.

What do you mean, before?

Well, that's what you said.

I'm wondering
if you have some agency

In stopping yourself
from moving forward.

I'm slowing down.
I'm dragged down.

Then I turn and I see

It's my father who's doing it.

It angers you when I ask you
about your role in this.

You were also disturbed
by what you take to be

Gina's account of you

As self-defeating
or self sabotaging.

Look, any shrink will tell you

That a patient is
the author of his own life.

Of course.
Of course that's true.

You may now proceed

To second-year
graduate studies

In human psychology.

But if you'll also recall

Some of your coursework
in medical school,

You'll remember that you
can't deny the fact

That certain diseases
are inherited.

I've inherited this illness
from my father.

It's been forced on me.
I didn't ask to have Parkinson's.

I didn't ask to be sick.

Do you think about
what your life might become

If you do have Parkinson's?

Of course I do.

Every day.

What do you envision?

What would your
day-to-day life like?

I don't know.
Probably something very similar

To what it held for my father.

I'd be less and less able
to leave the house,

Less and less able
to take care of myself.

Eventually I'd need care

In my own home.

Then, in the final stages,

I'd be lifted up

And carried off
to a nursing home

Still in my fucking chair,
given round-the-clock care

Like an infant
in diapers and a bib.

Is there anything that
feels comforting to you

In that fantasy?

Fantasy?
Is that a joke?

Does it seem significant to you

That you chose the image of
an infant being cared for

As your notion of what it
would be like to be sick?

No, but it clearly does
to you.

I am a grown man.

The idea of being swaddled
and wiped and burped

Doesn't fall under the most
attractive scenarios

For the majority of adult men.

We're not talking about the majority of adult men.
We're talking about you.

Precisely. Why the fuck would I
want to have Parkinson's disease?

Why on earth would I
find that comforting?

This is why I should
have been more diligent

In finding a therapist with
a bit of life experience.

You feel free to propose
these absurd theories

Because you really
don't have any idea

About what aging feels like...

Watching your body fall apart.

You have no idea

What that is.

And you have no idea that
just around the next corner

Might be complete disability,

Might be the beginning

Of a very short road to death.

You're 57 years old, not 80.

You were told this week
by a qualified neurologist

That you probably
don't have Parkinson's...

He said that we would
have to wait and see.

And yet you continue
to be invested

In this possibility
that you do.

I'm trying to understand why.

You've been to see two doctors
this week, including me.

You have plans to see a third.

Do you find it comforting

To be cared for,
protected in this way?

Can you tell me
what it is you feel

These doctors are
protecting you from?

I'm sick.
There are doctors out there

Who help you when you're sick.

I understand.

Who help you if it turns out
when you're ill,

I'll be here for you

As long as you want
to talk with me.

Okay.

I think

We're out of time.

Will you tell me something
before we finish?

In the beginning
of your dream...

You described it
quite vividly...

That excitement,

The feeling of openness,
possibility.

When was the last time
you felt that?

Can you remember?

Truthfully,

No idea.

Will you tell me something?

Sure.

When I was talking about
Gina's book earlier on,

You seemed to know
the reference I was making

When I said that

The character was
like bartleby.

Did you?

Why is it important
to you to know?

Because I like
to be understood.

I need to know that when...

When I'm talking to somebody,

That they understand me.

They understand
what I'm saying.

Do you know who I was
talking about?

The scrivener.

I gave Wendy this book

The first week that we met.

It's called
"the memory of running."

She hasn't read it yet,

But she still thinks
it's about running

It's not?

Have a good week.