In Treatment (2008–2010): Season 3, Episode 5 - Sunil: Week Two - full transcript

Sunil opens up to Paul about his arranged marriage in India--and his frustrations living with Arun's family in New York.

I do not want to come across

as the disgruntled
daughter-in-law.

But I don't think that
what we are experiencing

is the usual disruption.

We are truly concerned
for Sunil's well-being.

We brought him
over from Calcutta

shortly after my mother passed.

Julia mentioned that she felt

that your grandchildren
were afraid of you.

Do you think there's any
truth in that assertion?

What did he say?



He said she's
afraid of herself.

I would like to help you
in any way that I can.

Perhaps you could
write me a prescription

that would allow me
to return to India,

where my wife would be alive.

That's what I did, Kate.

It's not...

It's not a bloody penitentiary.

I happen to be lucky enough

To live near
a half-decent school.

No, not just half-decent...

Sought-after.

Mm-hmm, but, Kate,

He doesn't want to go
to private school.



I'll tell you why.
Because I'm his father.

Okay, Kate I've got to go.

I've got a patient
waiting for me...

A patient, okay?

I'll call you back.
I don't know.

Mr. Sanyal.

I thought patients
belonged in the hospital.

You heard me?

I could not help.

- Was I that loud?
- Perhaps a little.

Well, technically
you are my patient,

But I'll try to refrain
from that particular term

If it makes you feel
more comfortable.

Shall we?

Yes. Oh.

Did this happen on the train?

I have to travel
only three stops,

But I guess this is
what happens in America.

You're okay?

I'll survive,
Dr. Weston.

It is only mountain dew.

And did these kids...
did they...

Did they apologize to you?

I do not think they noticed.

That's a lot of soda
not to notice.

Did you say anything to them?

What good that would do?

Besides, they cannot
hear anyway.

They are all wearing
little headphones.

You're very forgiving.

I'm sorry
about your train ride.

Well, I'm glad
that you're here.

Can I ask you how...

How things are at home?

They begged me
to take a shower.

Your son and
your daughter-in-law?

All four of them knocked
on my door this morning.

They made Naya ask me.

She says, "grandpa,
please take a shower."

So how did that
make you feel...

Being asked to bathe
by your granddaughter?

I must admit I was starting
to smell like a goat.

So they got
your notebook as well?

Yeah, I was using it
on the train, so...

It's not so wet.

- Is that kamala... your wife?
- Yeah.

May I?

She's beautiful.

Is... was this
on your wedding day?

Just after the ceremony.

Are you...

Are you okay,
Mr. Sanyal?

I am only tired.

Recently I have not been
sleeping so well.

I wake with...

With... with an ache.

What kind of ache?

I suppose it is this ailment

That my son hopes
you will relieve me of.

You and I will speak
and my pain will heal

Like a fractured bone.

I wish it was
that simple.

If it's any comfort to you,

I agree with what you said
at our last session.

I don't think that
grief has any schedule.

And I have no desire

To speed up
your grieving process.

You are not married?

What makes you ask that?

Last time when I asked,
you said,

"no, I don't have
a wife."

That's true.
Yes, I did.

Are we playing a logic game?

You are also a widower then?

Forgive me.

You know, where I'm from,

When we want to talk,

We meet a friend for tea.

And then one person speaks
and then the other.

It is very strange
to be expected

To do all the talking
continuously, you know.

I understand, but...
but this is...

This is what therapy is.

It's... it's... it's...

Well, it's not exactly the same

As meeting a friend for tea.

You said last week we could
simply have a conversation.

That's true.
I did say that.

And during the conversation

You scarcely said a word.

I am expected to disclose
the details of my life,

To speak about my wife,

About my pain, about...

Or share her photograph
or, you know...

I did have a wife.

But...

We're divorced now.

How long
21 years. Were you married?

Do you miss her?

Sometimes I...

Yes, I do.

In Hinduism, when...

When the wife dies
before the husband,

Before she is cremated,

She is dressed in her
red bridal clothes.

And now when I see
her wedding photo

I think of her funeral.

She used to tease me

That in our wedding photo
I look like

I'm entering into a pool

Containing a giant octopus.

We were both still very young.

And like most
brahmin marriages,

It was arranged.

I'd just graduated
from the university.

She and her family
came over to our home.

There was
a short interview

Which lasted perhaps two hours.

And our parents decided

That we were to be married
shortly after that.

This was going to be my future.

And when your future
walks into the room

And sits beside you
on the carpet,

It could be, you know,

Quite disconcerting.

These things work
differently in America.

Yes, they are different, yes.

But whether they work
is another question.

In some ways

An arranged marriage seems
like it might be simpler.

I would say for us it was fine.

Only... only fine?

Fine... fine is good.

Yeah, perhaps...

Perhaps she was
my closest friend.

How often do you find yourself

Thinking about kamala?

Many many times each day.

I often think of her
when I see Julia.

So...

So when you see Julia,

You're reminded of...
of your wife?

Of the differences
between them.

It's...
it's impossible not to.

Look, kamala would not
have approved

Of the way Julia is
raising our grandchildren.

What do you mean?
Why wouldn't she approve?

She might think
that they're spoiled,

That there's too little
discipline.

She might think the minute
they don't get what they want

They scream,
they throw tantrums.

And do you think that's true?

Our son was raised
differently.

Kamala taught him

Good manners, humility,

Because it was
important to her.

And it sounds like
it's important to you.

Would you say that's true?

Can I ask you

What else is in your notebook?

Many things.

Sometimes

I write to kamala too.

- In your notebook?
- Yeah, very simple things.

- Yes, like what?
- Like...

Like "hello,

Good morning, good night,"

Or "the sun is very hot today,"

Or "the birds are
too loud for sleeping."

- Yes.
- Things like this.

Have you ever written to her
about your grandchildren?

I tell her that she would be

Quite fond of them.

Do you share your concerns
with kamala

About how Julia

Is raising your grandchildren?

So can I smoke?

Yeah, sure.
You can smoke, yes.

Dr. Weston,
please call me Sunil.

Okay.

And you must call me Paul.

Mm-hmm, Paul.

You know what happened
this morning?

A plumber came
to fix my shower,

So I had to use
Arun and Julia's bathroom.

As I was coming out
of the shower...

Julia came in.

I had the towel wrapped
around my waist.

She entered
just as I was putting

A small piece of soap in a dish

On top of the toilet tank...

A little purple soap goose

That smelled of lavender.

She was preparing
to take the shower too.

So she was also in her towel?

She very quickly covered
herself with her towel, yes.

She froze.

She obviously forgot
about the plumber.

And what happened?

I said, "excuse me"

And then went up to my room
to get dressed.

10 minutes later
she knocked on my door.

What did she say?

She became very angry.

She spoke to me
as if I'm a child...

Because of soap.

Well, she'd just been
confronted by the fact

That you're not a child at all.

She may have been covering
for other feelings

That she had from
seeing you in this way.

What feelings?

My daughter-in-law
is not

A modest woman, I assure you.

She still showers with Sam
even though he's nearly six.

For her it's perfectly
appropriate.

But not to you.

You are the expert.
Please tell me.

Where was your son
when all of this happened?

He had already left for work.

Sunil, when Julia
was here last week,

She mentioned feeling

Uncomfortable at times

Because of the way
that you look at her.

Would you say
that this encounter

In the bathroom

Might have been
one of those moments?

We were both
in our towels, Paul.

And I said,
"excuse me."

And I went out.

Yes, I understand that.
What I'm asking is...

Can you say a bit more
about how you felt

When your daughter-in-law
surprised you?

I would say I felt surprised.

Yes, but what else?

I said to myself,

"see, here's your
daughter-in-law,

And she is wearing
a towel."

I don't understand
the rules of this house.

My son and Julia are
very different people.

I used to believe

That these differences were
what drew him to her,

Beyond her yellow shining hair.

And you don't think
that anymore?

Now the differences are
less and less.

He has become more like her,

As if under a spell.

I wonder how he feels not being

The master of his own house.

That's how you see...
you see Arun?

He prepares her cappuccino
for her every morning,

And precisely
as she wishes too...

With just the right amount
of steamed skim milk

And one cube
of organic brown sugar.

He puts the dishes away
in the cupboard,

Gives the children
their evening bath

So that she can read
in her study.

Maybe your son enjoys
these activities...

That he makes Julia her
cappuccino in the morning

And puts the dishes away
because...

Because he wants to.

I'm not...

I'm not for a moment
dismissing your concerns.

I think you have very
legitimate concerns.

But I do think
it's possible

They may be yours
more than his.

You're dealing with
very real frustrations,

Yet most of your complaints

Your son must be unhappy;

Your grandchildren's upbringing
would disappoint kamala;

Kamala would disapprove
of Julia.

I guess I'm beginning to wonder

If you have trouble voicing

Grievances of your own.

The fact of the matter is
that you're the one

Who feels stuck
in your son's house,

Who's been cloistered away
upstairs with the kids.

They knocked on your door
this morning

To make a collective request
about your hygiene.

Julia polices the way you handle
the objects in her bathroom.

You don't have the power to
smoke where or when you want.

You have a right to be angry.

And it's becoming clear to me

That on some level you are.

So I'm just thinking
it might be helpful

To everybody,
but mostly for you

If you could begin
to express that anger

More directly,
try to put it into...

Try to put it into words.

I'm beginning to regret

That I requested you
to speak more.

This is not
quite what I'd meant

By balanced conversation.

I know. You'd rather
meet a friend for tea.

Tea is terrible in New York.

- You disagree?
- Oh no, I don't.

You're Irish.
You must enjoy tea.

Yes, I do.

So maybe you can tell me what
is wrong with Americans.

In India we drink hot tea.

Here it is often
no warmer than dishwater.

That's true.

See?

There, I was expressing
my frustration.

How did I do?

It's a good start.

See, there was one occasion

When I spoke openly to Arun,

When I presented
my displeasure.

And when was that?

Many years ago, when he and
Julia were first engaged.

We had never met Julia.

So they came to Calcutta
to tell us the good news.

You didn't see it that way?

At first I did.
Arun seemed so happy,

Like a small child
handed a special dessert,

Barely able to breathe.

I must admit I was pleased

For arun to receive
so much attention,

Much more than
we were used to seeing...

Like holding hands,
sitting very close.

She... she even curled his
hair behind his ear, eh?

In our presence.

I thought kamala
was going to faint.

And how did things go
between kamala and Julia?

- Very bad.
- Mm-hmm.

Toward the end of dinner Julia
expressed her disappointment

That we would not allow
her to stay at our home.

So where was she staying?

In a hotel.

And where was arun?

He stayed with us,
in his old room.

You must understand

It's not acceptable

For a couple to sleep

In the House of the parents
before they are married.

So during dinner it was clear

She wanted arun to discuss
these matters with us.

So when arun could not
bring himself to do it,

She proceeded to do so herself.

She said they had traveled
such a far distance

And they are very tired

And they wished
not to be separated.

Arun was so embarrassed,

He could not even look
at his mother and me.

How did you and your wife
respond to that?

After arun left to escort
Julia back to her hotel,

Kamala was so angry,

She could not speak
for more than one hour.

Then she pleaded with me
to speak to arun.

So the next night, I sat
in the kitchen with arun

And asked him whether he...

Whether he was sure about
his decision to marry.

What did he say?

He lashed out at me.

He said we did not
approve of Julia

Because... because
she's not Bengali.

And he said I could not
relate to his life

And I married a woman
I did not love

And I... I chose duty
over passion

And... and...

And I'm jealous.

So they cut their visit
short by three days

And left to America
the following morning.

So do you think there was any
truth in what arun said?

That I do not know passion?

He also said
that you were jealous.

Perhaps I did not marry

For the same reasons as my son,

But I came to love my wife.

Did you ever wish for
something more in life?

Do you wish for something more?

After that,

Things were different
with arun.

When Samuel was born
we came to New York,

And again after Naya.

But it was never the same.

Did arun ever come back
to Calcutta to visit?

Only once,

When his mother was
in serious decline,

Just two days
before she passed.

That must have been
another difficult visit.

What were you just thinking?

On this same visit my son
made his promise to kamala.

That he would bring you
back to New York.

Yes, she told him that I was not
capable of living on my own

And he must take care
of me always.

These were the last words
she spoke.

And so here you are.

Here I am.

Do you wish you had stayed
in Calcutta?

See, it is the way
we do things, Paul...

The children care
for their parents.

Do you think about going back?

It's not possible.

Why not?

I have no money, Paul.

Although I should have,
but I do not.

Can I ask you why not?

See, much of my earnings
went toward paying

For Arun's American education.

And what was left was spent

On kamala's medical bills.

So...

There is nothing to be done.

You seem resigned.

Have you and your son
ever discussed

The fight that you had
on that first visit?

We have never spoken of it...

Never.

I'm...

I'm afraid
our time is up, sunil.

Oh, I'm supposed to leave?

I have another patient,

But we can pick up here
the next week.

Okay okay.

If I'm going to walk,

How do I get to prospect park?

Prospect park?
That's easy.

You go out, you turn left,

Pass the coffee shop
on the corner,

Across the main drag.
Once you...

I'll find it.
I'll find it.

No problem.

Okay.

No problem.

Uh, you're not going to
take the train?

No train.

Sunil, those kids...

You know, they're not
on every train.

I know.

Well, the exercise
will be good for me.

So you know where you're going?
Just turn left on Atlantic and...

I'm fine.
I'm fine.