In Treatment (2008–2010): Season 3, Episode 28 - Adele: Week Seven - full transcript

Deported?

That's right.

- But...
- There are no buts.

It's the I.N.S.

He's got brown skin.

He's been accused of a violent crime.
He's going.

Do you know why he was arrested,
what he was charged...?

He was arrested because you
insisted I call Julia.

So I called Julia,
and she called the police.

This ought to teach you

to stay out of the business
of second-hand diagnosis.



Let qualified people
do the work instead.

When you talk about qualified
people doing this work,

are you including
yourself in that?

Are you suggesting
that I'm to blame?

I'm not suggesting anything.

Because I wouldn't
have called if I...

I understand that.
I'm not accusing you of anything.

You've been talking for weeks

about a loss of perspective,

questioning the efficacy
of your practice,

doubting certain decisions.

I was right about this one.

Based on what you
told me, I felt

there was a risk that
needed to be addressed.



I'm still not clear

why you're so certain
the risk wasn't real.

Sunil just told me flat out he
never intended to hurt Julia.

So the police came
as he planned.

He refused to show his
papers, also as planned.

I mean, what part of that
do you not understand?

You've been told by Sunil

that much of what he shared
was fiction. Correct?

Mm-hmm.

Yet when he claims that he
never intended to hurt Julia...

I'm just not sure
how you're deciding

which of these stories
to believe.

- You've never met him.
- That's true.

And you've never
had the experience

of sitting down
and speaking with him.

See, I'm talking about
an instinct that I had

that you refuse
to trust.

I know Sunil is not
a dangerous person.

Okay, let's take
everything at face value.

Everything he said
to you this week...

we'll believe it's true.

This is what he wanted... to
be sent home to Calcutta.

That's right.

Then why are you so upset?

( Theme music playing )

We've discussed for some time

your strong identification
with Sunil,

that you've come to care
about him, relate to him.

Would you say that's true?

Even to think of him as perhaps
something of a friend?

Does it make you angry
to consider

that you may have been betrayed
by a friend in this way?

May I offer another possible
source for your anger?

Sure.

Do you think any part of you
might be envious of Sunil?

Why would I be envious of a
man who's being deported?

Because he's found a way
to change his life

and you haven't.

I could understand your
being envious of that.

You know, all week I've been...

I've just been going
over and over

Sunil's treatment
in my head, you know...

what was really happening,
what was fantasy.

Even when I'm
with other patients,

I'm thinking about him,
tuning them out completely.

And when I force
myself to focus

and actually listen
to what they're saying,

I just...

I just find myself
questioning the whole thing.

How do I really know

that what I'm being told
isn't bullshit?

What am I blind to this time?

That's quite a hopeless
feeling you're describing.

I got a phone message
the other day

from a prospective patient

who asked me if I had any free
appointments in my schedule.

I haven't been able to get
back to that person yet.

Why not?

What would you tell them
if you did?

I don't know.

What would you want
to tell them?

Well, whenever I think
of making the call,

I can only imagine saying

that I'm not taking
any new patients.

What does it mean to you
to hear yourself say that?

Does it mean you're thinking of
cutting back on your practice?

Are you thinking of closing it?

You look more pregnant.

I...

yes, I guess I am.

Do you know
what you're gonna do

when the baby is born?

Do you plan
to keep on working?

I do.

I'll take a few months
at home, but then

yes, I'll keep working.

I want to.

And you?

You still haven't
answered my question.

Are you thinking
of closing your practice?

I don't know.
It came into my head

when I was sitting across
from Jesse this week.

He told me he was
quitting therapy.

Why?

Why? Because
he was convinced

that he has to choose
between his father and me.

And he's chosen his father.

What did you say to him?

I don't think he heard
anything I said really.

There was a time...
a time I used to believe

that you could say
something clearly

and the other person would
hear it, digest it, respond.

I don't think
I believe that anymore.

Maybe any serious
communication

between two people
is useless.

Even without outright lying,

people only hear what
they really want to hear

or what they're
capable of hearing,

which...
( Chuckles )

Which often has
very little resemblance

to what was actually said.

At this moment
each of these setbacks

feels like a terrible blow.

Can we talk about why these
losses feel so devastating?

Why don't you tell me?

I think it has something to do

with what you've
done repeatedly.

You've blurred boundaries
with your patients,

treated them as friends
or children or...

again and again you have
allowed your own feelings

to interfere.

Why do you think Sunil was
able to fool you so easily?

Why do you think that deception

affects you so deeply?

Two weeks ago you saw
Jesse late at night.

Now you're terribly hurt

that Jesse's turned
to his father.

It's all connected, Paul.

It's a pattern.
It's one you could break if...

I need to stop.

You... you need
to stop?

I need to stop seeing patients.

That's what you're telling me.

And you're right.

I'm not telling you
to do anything.

I'm only trying to get you
to examine what might be...

fine, it's what I've been
telling you then,

what I've really known myself

for a very long time.

Is that really
what you want?

There are many many ways
to make changes, Paul.

I know that.

Okay.

Do you know... if this is
a real possibility,

have you thought about
what might be next?

Do I have to have a plan?

Of course not.

Just...

what?

I don't know.
I just found myself

wondering what my life
would have been

if I hadn't gone down
this path, you know,

if I hadn't become a therapist.

All I know is

that I can't spend the next
10 or 20 years like this,

locked in a room, listening.

It's striking to hear you talk

about the next 10 or 20 years.

I mean, up until now
you've been convinced

you only had a fraction
of that time left.

Well, maybe I've been taking

what the doctors have told
me about the Parkinson's

a bit more objectively.

I'm willing to wait and see.

And maybe during that time
I'll finally figure out

what it is that I want
from my life.

Is there anything
that comes to mind?

Not specifically, no.

Nothing at all?

I broke up with Wendy.

It was at the breakfast
table yesterday.

I hadn't planned
to do it.

It just sort of
came out.

You seem surprised.

Do I?

I guess I just wanted
to free myself.

- Free yourself?
- Yes.

Free yourself for what?

I was never in love with Wendy.

I know that.

And honestly,

I've even started to wonder

if I was ever really
in love with Kate

and whether love is something

I'm really capable of.

Wendy said she wanted to talk

about our relationship.

And she started to cry.

She couldn't
stop crying.

And inside I...

I just didn't feel anything.

Yeah, I knew I should
have been feeling sad

or at the very least guilty.

But...

I kept saying to myself,
"she's in pain.

She's in pain.
You can help her."

But I couldn't move.

I couldn't even take her hand.

I just wanted her
to leave.

To free yourself.

I think
up until this point

you've sought out
relationships that are safe,

where the risk
to yourself emotionally

is a small one.

Outside the office
you keep your distance.

Inside, you do the opposite...

you overinvest.
You seek out intimacy.

But whether it's Wendy,

Kate, your patients...

they're all
substitutes of a kind,

allowing you to avoid actually
engaging in the world,

experiencing life
in any real way.

I think what
you're telling me

is that you're ready
to stop doing this.

Ending things with Wendy

sounds like a step
in the right direction.

Ending your practice...

I'm not sure that's
precisely the right answer.

But it does feel right to me

to hear you talk about
freeing yourself.

I think that's
a good description

of the work that lies ahead...

for you, for us together.

I'm not coming back.

I'm sorry.

You just took me to task

on my unhealthy relationships.

Do you not see this
as one of them?

I... I don't think...

I think it's
entirely different.

Why is that?

Because you're my therapist?

Because whatever's been going on
between us is completely routine,

a standard critical part
of the therapeutic process?

I think you're aware of how these
sorts of feelings function.

Transference,
countertransference...

just go with it,
grow from it...

- Explore it as illuminating.
- I can't do that.

I'm sorry.
I just can't do it.

It's too...

it's too confusing for me.

Why do you find it
so confusing?

Because I can't tell
what's real.

How can I go on seeing you,

looking at you,
keep coming here,

when you epitomize
the conflict?

Do you not see that?

I'm not sure that I do.

You're talking about
ending therapy

just as you're contemplating
an enormous life decision.

I think it's important
that we're clear...

you're having a baby.

I am.

And I know that the likelihood

is that you're having
this child

with somebody else...
its father,

husband, boyfriend... having
girlfriend for all I know.

But...

I just have this feeling

that may not be
the case.

I don't know
what your story is...

whether you're
with somebody or not.

I could be wrong.
I could be making a fool of myself.

I could be offending you.

I could be wildly deluded.

But something tells me
that you're alone.

Last week you imagined

I had a happy, growing family.

You thought I hid
that fact from you,

and that made you very angry.

An now you're suggesting...

That I can't tell
what the truth is.

This is your opportunity
to tell me if you want to.

Why do you think it's so important
for you to know my situation?

Because we could go on
like this for years.

It...

what?

It's too painful.

I don't think the solution is

to run away from what's
happening in this room, Paul,

to protect yourself once again

from the risk
of a relationship...

the confusion, yes, pain

that can sometimes
go along with one.

The way to change that

is to face those feelings
in a therapeutic setting.

You just said
"relationship."

But the point is

that it isn't one.

It's been created in this room

by the artifice of therapy.

And I don't know that I believe
in that artifice anymore.

I can't distinguish it
from reality.

You're sitting across from me,

and you're pregnant,

and I still think that you
are meant to be with me.

Isn't that exactly
what I need to stop doing,

what you've been
telling me to change?

Isn't it time that I go outside
and experience reality,

step beyond the office doors

and see the difference
for myself?

You can experience the world

and still come back
here each week,

talk about that experience.

I worry that if you don't,

you'll repeat the same patterns
you're trying to free yourself from.

Well, maybe that's true.

And maybe it's not.

You've been through so much in
such a short amount of time, Paul:

The death of your father, the
fear of inheriting his illness,

the fundamental questioning

of your life's work.

I'm 57 years old

and I've lost my way.

I want to help you
find your way again.

Do you ever think
about us being together?

Do you?

I'm not in treatment
with you any longer.

You can answer the question.

Wow.

You are a good therapist.

Paul, will you think
about coming next week?

I can't.
I need to stop.

I just...

I have to.

Good luck to you.

My door wilt always be
open to you.

Well, it's okay.

You can close it behind me.

( Theme music playing )