In Treatment (2008–2010): Season 1, Episode 28 - Sophie: Week Six - full transcript

Previously on In Treatment.

I feel sorry for the books up there.

I'm going back to training
next week for the Olympics,

and if you try to stop me,
you will never see me again.

Right, you'll go to your father's.

Only he's in Miami
photographing supermodels,

no one can get a hold of him.
He doesn't know she was in the hospital.

- Shut up!
- He hasn't called her in over a month.

Why didn't you tell me that your father
didn't know you tried to kill yourself?

I have to go.

- What about our agreement?
- Let's talk about it next week.



We won't talk about it next week.
What about our agreement?

I won't try and kill myself
as long as I'm in therapy.

- Yes?
- Afternoon.

$12 please.

- For what?
- Pizza.

A pizza? I didn't order a pizza.

- There's another entrance to the house?
- I'm sure nobody ordered a pizza.

Okay, buddy. Just give me a second.

Candy? Can you check the street number
on the Robinson street order?

Yeah, it's... 848 Robinson.

Yeah, but the John
claims he didn't order a pie.

You know what? Let me take it.

I think I know who it's for.

- You know what? He's gonna take it.
- What? Suddenly he did order it?



- Ask him what's on it.
- You gotta tell me what's on it first.

I can't just hand over
another man's pizza.

It's...

- Cheese.
- And...?

And...

And it's deep-dish.

- Yeah, it's deep-dish, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.

- How much is that? - It's $12.

Thanks.

- And... here you go.
- Oh, thank you.

- For you.
- Thanks a lot. Take care. Bye.

Want some?

No, I'm okay, thanks.

I was on the bus and I realized
I haven't had anything to eat.

So I sent a text message to Google
from my phone,

they sent me back the number
of this place near you.

Google can do that?

Google can do anything.

You sure you don't want some?
I think this place is totally organic.

No. Honestly, I'm sure.

I had lunch already.

- How is it?
- It's all right.

Not the best, but I have to eat.

I need the calories.

How was your week?

Good, thanks.

So you're in a good mood?

I think so.

Do my moods worry you?

You were a little grumpy last week.

You sort of ate me alive.

There were a couple of points
that I really wanted to make clear.

And if I came across
as impatient or abrupt,

I apologize.

Apology accepted.
Were you having a bad week?

Yeah.

And...

Maybe some of that
spilled over into this room.

It happens sometimes. I wish it didn't.

Relax, I can take it.

Plus I like that side of you.

Which side?

The no-bullshit side.

What did you mean when you said
"I need the calories"?

I've lost some weight.

When you go back into training
with weights and stuff,

As you build up muscle,
you're supposed to gain weight

because muscle weighs more than fat.

I didn't know.

When I'm not here, do you just bury
your head under a rock or something?

So these pounds that I've put on,
they could be muscle, really.

Do you go to the gym?

Occasionally.

You have to do it consistently
if you wanna see results.

Every day. Weights and cardio.

No pain, no gain, guy.

- You're right.
- You can't see muscle

if it's buried under fat, so you have
to reduce your sugar and carb intake.

Okay, coach.

- Sorry.
- No, I appreciate the tip, thanks.

Anyway,

If you build muscle,
you'll gain weight,

Unless of course
you're a physiological freak like me.

Since I've started lifting weights
I've lost two pounds,

Which is like anatomically
impossible.

Now Cy won't let me lift
until I gain it back.

It's bullshit, really.

He was like, "you have to make sure
that you eat protein

"after every session, and you have
to make sure that your fat-carb ratio,"

blah blah blah...

He weighed me two days ago.

I don't know how,
but I lost another pound.

Can I eat here?

Sorry?

I never asked if it was okay for me
to eat here.

- Sure, of course it is.
- I know you've all these rules.

I wasn't sure
if there was one about food.

What are my rules?

Well...

We made a no-suicide rule last week.

I think that was more of a pact, but...

If it was a pact, we'd be drinking
poisoned Kool-Aid together.

And when I had the cast, you had
that rule about not undressing me.

I don't know that's so much a rule.

I felt that was inappropriate.

So there are no rules.

I can do whatever I want?

No, that's not what I said,

But you can definitely eat.

It makes me happy to see you eat,

with gusto.

A lot of gusto, actually.

- What happened?
- I'm done.

I don't want anymore.
It's a bit disgusting.

- I thought you said it was good.
- I said it was okay.

I'm not hungry anymore.

I had half a slice.
What do you want me to do?

Finish the whole thing?
Who could finish a whole slice of pizza?

Lots of people who could finish.

Fat people.

Do you know what gusto means?

Of course, it means...

It means it's how fat people eat.

With gusto.

Did you know
a fat person who ate with gusto?

Not exactly.

Why are you smiling?

My father had this girlfriend...

A model.

She hardly spoke English

and he didn't speak Italian.
It was ridiculous.

She used to turn up at his apartment
with bags of chocolate.

She kept trying to force-feed me.

When I wouldn't do it,
she told my dad I was anorexic.

She went around the house
pointing to me and saying,

"I am so worried for her.

"She has no gusto for eating."

Meanwhile she's stuffing her bony ass
like a pig and never gaining any weight.

She was a total Mia.
My dad never saw it.

What?

You can say it.

I've heard it
a thousand times before.

You think I have an eating disorder.

Why can't anybody understand?

This is just the way I'm built.

I don't get hungry.

I can go a whole day
and never get hungry.

It doesn't mean I'm anorexic.

I'm an Olympic hopeful,
for God's sakes.

I know what my body is
and isn't capable of.

I know my body better at 16

than regular people ever will.

Never saw her again.

She starved to death hopefully.

I don't know.

He never stayed
with any of them for very long.

And when she told him
that she thought

that you had an eating disorder,
did he take her seriously?

- I don't know.
- Did he try to get you to eat more?

He likes me for myself,

And he loves how I look.

He said if the whole gymnastics
thing doesn't work out,

He can get me a job as a model...

Like that.

So how do you feel about your weight?

I love it.

I like being light and thin.

I like feeling I could just slip away
through a crack in the door if I had to.

Can you think of a time
when you used your...

lightness, as you call it,
to slip away?

I'm describing a feeling.
Don't be so literal.

Okay. Fair enough.

Can you think of a time then
when you thought,

"I wish I could just slip away"?

How about right now?

That party where the boy
took you into the...

Into the bedroom.
Didn't you want to slip away then?

I was trashed.

- You don't get it.
- What don't I get?

The slipping away thing.

It's a girl thing,

The wanting to be liked.

To be there, but not to be there.
It's like...

- Can we talk about something else?
- Finish the thought.

I wanna talk about something else.

What would you like
to talk about then?

How's your daughter?

Rosie? She's...

She's fine, thank you.

Is she still
with that fucked-up guy?

Do you really want to talk
about my daughter

or are you just trying
to make me uncomfortable?

I don't wanna talk about her
if you don't.

Why wouldn't I?

You never mention her.

After you left last week,
I couldn't help thinking,

about how you didn't tell me
that your dad was in Miami.

We're back to that?

So he still doesn't know
about your attempted suicide?

I don't wanna talk about this.

Is it something you wanna
keep a secret from him?

It's not a fucking secret!

How can it be a secret
if that's all you and my mom

and everyone else can talk about?

What are you thinking about?

Nothing.

I've a test tomorrow
I have to study for and I missed

my dentist appointment today,
so I have to reschedule that.

I think you're running away.

What?

In your mind,
you're planning your schedule.

We get close to something

that feels dangerous to you,

And what do you do? You retreat.

I'm not retreating.

I'm stressed about the exam,
I think I have a cavity,

and I have a stomachache
from that fucking pizza.

What a mistake that was.

I have a theory about that pizza.

Surprise, surprise.

Would you like to hear it?

- Do I have a choice?
- Yeah. You always have a choice.

What's your theory?

I think that you were
enjoying that pizza.

Until I said something
that reminded you

of something your father's girlfriend
used to say to you.

I used the word gusto.

Are you saying
I'm fucked up about food

because of something
my father's girlfriend said?

Are you fucked up about food?

Isn't everybody?

What does food mean to you?

- What do you mean?
- Is it nutrition, is it enjoyment?

What?

It's the enemy.

It's just what happens to gymnasts.

Why didn't you tell me
your father was in Miami?

- Why was it a secret?
- It's not a fucking secret.

I just don't think I need to bother him
with every boring detail of my life.

Your attempted suicide
is a boring detail?

It's not a suicide attempt.
I was just testing. Remember?

Somebody around here
had that theory, I think.

Yeah, that rings a bell.

He'd put it together
and decide that it's all your fault.

He already thinks you're a quack,
remember?

It's better for you if he doesn't know.
He'll never let me come back here.

Better for you or for me?

Which of us would have to stay away
from therapy, do you think?

If he knew, he'd be devastated.

He is the most important person to me
in this whole world.

I don't ever wanna hurt him.

Why can't you just let it go?

Forget it.

This is such a waste of time.

You tried to kill yourself.

And you don't want to tell
the most important person in your world?

He has a life!

Somebody has to.

We can't all go around
like walking corpses.

It's not his fault
that I took those pills!

I'm not saying it is his fault,
I'm just trying to figure out

why you were so ready
to leave the planet and not tell him.

What's up your ass?

- Are you angry at him for something?
- I'm not angry at him.

- Are you hiding something from me?
- Get off my back!

Are we done?

We have a little time left.

What?

You've never wanted
to end a session early before.

In our first session
you mentioned those books up there.

I thought it was because you identified
with them. You said they were...

cold and lonely on the top shelf.

And then I looked at them
more closely and I realized that

one of them has...

some of your father's photographs
in it.

You said that your dad

loves the way that you look.

And that...

if you weren't a gymnast,
that you could be a model.

I guess models
are the people that he...

That he chooses
to surround himself with,

the people he likes.

They're the people he fucks.
I wouldn't say he likes them.

I know that in our culture
thin models...

are sexualized, but I've always
found that really strange,

because in classical art
and literature,

eating is often used
as a metaphor for sex.

They both conjure up

desire, hunger,

cravings inside us.

Where are you going, Sophie?

Sophie, try to stay here, please.

Try not to disappear.

Eat shit, Paul.

Why are you doing this?

I thought you were trying to help.

Why does the book provoke
such a strong reaction in you?

What you're doing is sick.

It's fucking sick! It's perverted.

- I'll never forgive you for this.
- Why?

Because I'm making you
uncomfortable?

I'm asking you to think about things
that you don't want to talk about.

If I wanted to talk
about my father's book,

I would have told you,
it was right there.

What about all that crap about a patient
deciding what we talk about?

That you take things at my speed,

that I control the wheels and all that?
You're so full of shit.

But you have been driving
what we talk about here.

You may not realize it,
but you have.

The very first thing that you wanted
to talk about were those books up there.

What are you saying? That you jerk off
to my father's photographs?

That you open up that book
and jerk off all over those sluts?

You keep suggesting somebody
is abusing me. You're abusing me!

That's what you people love
most of all, isn't it? A good mindfuck.

To take the one good thing
in somebody's life

and somehow fuck it up!

Just like my father said.

Shut the fuck up about him!

How could you?

How could you?
You're just like everybody else!

Like who, Sophie?

Please, don't go.

Why did you do that?

You mean
why did I take the book down?

Because I had to.

I had to put the book on the table.

And there was really
no graceful way of doing it.

I think this book
is connected to your wound.

And opening a wound, Sophie...

is frightening.

It's painful.

And it's ugly.

You implied
that I'd been sexually abused.

Is that what you heard?

I never said anything like that.

This book with the...

with the naked models.

You wanted me to see that.

You know what I think?

I think you're angry.

I think you've got great anger
towards your father.

You said earlier on
that you wished that

you could slip through
the cracks when you wanted to,

but you don't do that
when you're in trouble. Not really.

Your mind tries to, but your body,

your body stays here.

You let others do things to you,

because you've
convinced yourself that...

That you're not really there.

That it's not happening to you.

That it's not hurting you.

I'm sure this week
you'll exercise like a fiend.

And not because you're
an Olympic hopeful.

But because I know that
after this session, you're gonna want

to regain control.

But I want you
to remember something, Sophie.

When you go up onto that beam,

that's the place where you detach.

That's where you go to feel safe.

All I want you to know
is you don't have to go there.

There are other places
where you can feel safe.

In here, in this room.

It's one of those places.