In Treatment (2008–2010): Season 1, Episode 25 - Paul and Gina: Week Five - full transcript

Previously on In Treatment...

Teachers marry students.
It's not a big deal.

I mean, is it really wrong?

Let's say I stopped Laura's therapy.

Surely in a year, 18 months,
when it's cooled off...

There's no cooling-off period.

That's some bullshit
some lawyer came up with.

No, it's not a law.
It's beyond a code of ethics.

It's something you carry inside you.

A lot of people
would disagree with this.

Then go to them.



It's really tough
when I'm alone with her, you know,

and she's asking me:

"Please, just be honest.
Please, tell me how you feel."

And I can't.

You need to say it.

I love her.

Season 1, episode 25

Subtitles: Anyone, Coffee, Tagne

Come in, come in.

- Hi, Gina.
- Kate, hello.

- It's good to see you.
- And you.

You've been here before, right?

It was years ago.

Actually,



it was the Argentineans, I think.

An institute conference.

Yes, that's right, that's right.

- You look great.
- Thank you. So do you.

- This room's lovely.
- Thank you.

I did some rearranging, but I'm not sure
how comfortable I am in it.

I told myself I would write
a few hours a day.

Did Paul tell you I retired?

No, Paul didn't tell me.

- Writing... That's fantastic.
- We'll see.

Yeah, I mean, I've often thought
that I might try my hand, but...

I wouldn't ever dare.

So...

It's a little unusual
to have ongoing sessions with Paul

and then to see the both of you.

I thought it might be helpful
if we all decided how to approach this.

I think I told you when I called

that this was Kate's suggestion.

You said that.

If I were you,
I wouldn't be so sure I'd agree to it.

Why not?

Well, we've blurred some lines here,
you and I.

That's true, we have.

But I think we'll be okay
if we set down some guidelines.

I was thinking
we could meet three times,

re-evaluate and then decide
where we want to go from there.

Now what made you decide
to come here?

Paul, you said
that it was Kate's suggestion,

but you're going along with it.

I think I told you
about Kate going to Rome...

And who she went with.

She got back and...

she said that it was over
with that guy.

I guess we both had the sense of:
"So, what do we do now?"

Kate did offer to talk about it
and I couldn't.

I was too...

angry.

I know in couples therapy

you try not to blame each other
and I'm always telling my patients that,

you know, like it's the simplest thing.
Now here I am and...

I can't stop blaming.

Intellectually, I get it,
that I'm half of the equation, but...

You said you couldn't talk to Kate,

so she hasn't heard any of this,
how you feel.

Well, I think she knows
that she hurt me.

Deeply...

And that...

That I hated her.

Could you go into that?

I hated you for thinking
you were entitled to this,

for implying
that I brought it on myself.

I couldn't shake it.

Every minute,
I'd get a wave of rage and loss.

Why? Why loss?

Because I really don't know
if I can forgive her.

I've seen couples
come back from this,

but right now, I'll be damned
if I know how they did it.

Anyway, she got back Tuesday
and I said: "Well, should I move out?"

She said that wasn't
what she wanted and...

You tell her.

I just asked him why he couldn't
talk to me about all of this,

about, you know,
everything we're going through.

Can you answer that, Paul?

I just said I couldn't.

I tell patients that having someone
is like mourning a death.

Who you were as a couple,
the image that you have of yourself...

It is like losing a loved one.

You keep telling us
what you tell patients,

but you're talking
about your mourning,

your rage, your loss.

You're sounding very controlled.

What, you want me to throw something?
Try to strangle her?

I can barely look at her.

I'm so...

I feel like I'm falling apart.

I should tell you this,
and Kate already knows...

I attacked a patient in therapy.

The pilot.

In the middle of therapy,
I jumped him. I lost it.

Suddenly, I was on top of him.
I grabbed him. I almost...

I almost hit him.

Scared the hell out of me.

Or both of us, I guess.

Anyway, my first thought afterwards
was that I was reacting...

to Kate.

She came home during the session,

she knocked at the door,
back from Rome.

I heard her outside the office
and then...

What is it?

I shouldn't discuss a patient
with Kate here.

You can't discuss a patient
who's spying on me?

He did all this...

research about Kate and about...

About my father.

He knew that Kate was in Italy with...

With another man and he...

- He threw it in my face.
- How did he know that?

He made calls.
People that had recommended me to him.

I don't know who they are.

Anyway, that's not the point.

Instead of handling it properly,
I jumped in and...

I lay in bed that night thinking:
"Do I take a month off?

"Do I take three months off?
Maybe I should take a year off.

"Maybe I'm...

"Maybe I'm... Maybe I'm all done."

- And that's my fault?
- What?

Your creepy patient,
he's my fault as well?

Actually, it made me think
how much I need you.

- Do you?
- Yeah, you, the kids, the house...

I need that.
I need that other place where I can...

What? Hang on.
That other place?

I'm pretty sure we're supposed
to be the place.

Sorry. How does this work?
Do we take turns?

- Is that how...
- Whatever you're comfortable with.

It's always been
very difficult for me,

trying to describe what I'm feeling.

When you're having a baby,

Yeah? You're lying there

in that hospital bed and...

And you don't need... you don't want

everything understood and shared

and analyzed and discussed.

All you want to know
is that you're not alone

and that your husband's hand
is right there.

But try describing to your husband

exactly what it feels like
to have a child, it's just impossible.

A friend of mine once said,

"Take an umbrella,
shove it up his ass, open it and pull.

"Then he'll know."

So someone sticking an umbrella
up your ass is...

What's the umbrella?

Please don't analyze me.

Well, it's quite an analogy.

I'm not your patient.

He doesn't get to interpret
everything I say in here, does he?

It's the same as when Paul's at home.
He's not a psychotherapist here.

He's a man
dealing with a crisis in his marriage.

He's not a therapist at home?

Can you go on, Kate?

When you told me
about attacking your patient

I felt like that was for my benefit,

that you just wanted to show me
what I'd done to you

by seeing Edward
and how I'd ruined your life and,

- well, your work.
- You haven't ruined my life.

You're the best thing in it.

I felt like you were putting on a show.

Christ.

You know, I believed you

when you told me that you wanted me
to stop seeing Edward. I did.

But when you sit here right now

and you tell me
that I'm the best thing in your life...

I don't believe that.

And that makes me so sad.

And the way you talk to me sometimes,

I mean I will ask you outright:
"Do you love me?"

And you've said to me...
You've looked at me and you've said,

"Yes... for now."

It's... It's a joke.

Well, what the hell kind of a joke
is that?

Someone asks you if you love them,

you don't think
that they're feeling vulnerable?

A little insecure, maybe?
They need some reassurance?

Everything we say has meaning.
That's your line.

But we don't mean
everything that we say.

Which is it? That's pretty convenient
for you, isn't it?

We don't mean what we say, fine,

'cause I don't believe
a lot of what you say.

I mean, Gina just pointed it out.
You said, "I'm hurt,"

but it sounded like you were reading
something out of a psychology book.

How do you need me? You don't need me.

I just don't believe that.

You know, when Paul and I
were first seeing each other...

I couldn't get over
how seriously he took me.

I'd never had that from anyone.

Up until then,
I'd always pretty much felt...

invisible.

And there was also... There was this...

This exciting new idea

that under everything people say
there's another intention

and that there's this hidden meaning,

which just meant
that everything had to be analyzed.

So, everything I said
took on this importance

because he was working so hard
to figure me out.

And he was really the first person

who tried to understand me. And I...

Thank you.

And I just remember feeling...

very grateful to him for that.

So it was quite a shock for me
to realize that

it wasn't about me. It had...

fuck all to do with me, really.

I mean, it was about him.

Because you don't actually
understand me.

Understanding me is not about subtext.
It's not about the subconscious.

It's not about reading
some kind of an X-ray.

It's just so clinical.

Actually, it's worse
because you use it against me.

You think you know what I mean
before I know what I mean,

and how am I supposed
to argue with that?

This is what I've gotten
out of our marriage.

I gotta think over things
10 different ways.

I can't take anything at face value.

Nothing is simple.
Nothing is ever simple.

I hate it.
I hate that that's what I've become.

Just the patient
married to the doctor.

For someone who is asking
how this whole thing works,

you're doing a blue-ribbon job.
I gotta give you that.

I didn't come here
for you to grade my performance.

Kate, can you explain to Paul
why you were seeing Edward?

I don't want to explain.

No, this is exactly what I'm saying.

Why does everything
have to be explained?

Sometimes I just don't know
and sometimes I don't want to know.

Fine. Initially, it was just

excitement and adrenaline.

And there was this possibility
when I woke up in the morning

that I may do something
that I hadn't planned

or that I didn't even know
I was capable of.

And that's who I was
before I met Paul.

And, somewhere along the way,
that part of me just...

died or... I don't know...
It was smothered.

The point I'm trying to make

is why can I not just trust myself

to be who I am
and to just get on with it?

Well, just because you don't look,

it doesn't mean
there's nothing underneath.

That's very profound, I'm sure.

- There's still a reason why you...
- Would you please stop it?

I do not want your intellectual
interpretation of everything I say.

I did it because I felt something.

What did you feel?

Wanted.

I mean, do you want me to say
that I want you?

I do. I want you. That's why I'm here,
so that you'll believe it.

Paul, do you feel that you need
a witness to verify your love for Kate?

Thank you.

Thank you. I'm sorry,
but I just keep getting this...

That image of Bill Clinton,
that footage of him,

standing in front
of all those cameras

and wagging his finger
so adamantly, you know.

"I did not have sexual relations
with that woman."

Jeez, that's some comparison.

You know, I can't assert anything
strongly enough, because

that would be a clear indication
of my...

insincerity but, on the other hand,
if I don't state my feelings,

- then that's something else.
- Fair enough.

Maybe there's nothing
you can say to me.

All I know is I have
to feel it in my gut to believe it.

- And you don't.
- No, I don't.

Do you remember?

Do you remember what it feels like
to be wanted?

To be truly desired and pursued?

It's not something you experience
as a debate.

It's not an argument you need
to be convinced of. It's just this...

This force that has to be...

That has to be reckoned with.

What is it? Did I...

What?

What did I say? What's going on?

Do you know what transference is?

When a patient has feelings
for their therapist which are,

in fact, drawn from their relationships
with their parents.

They project qualities onto
the therapist that don't really exist

or they can be just exaggerated.

And then when they find
the courage, the patient...

they reach a level of trust,

and they feel safe enough
to express their desire for the...

And...

And so for a time,

the patient may experience feelings
as if they're truly intended for the...

For the... therapist.

Did you fuck her?

What?

Is that what you're telling me?
I'm not sure.

Are you telling me
that you slept with a patient?

No, that's not what I'm...

You asked me if I felt someone's desire
for me. And I'm saying yes.

I have patients
who've indicated feelings for me,

only I'm not flying off to Rome
to fuck them.

It happens in therapy all the time.

Has this happened to you?

Yes, it has.

I've spoken to Gina about it.

It's really valuable for me to explore
my own feelings with another therapist,

so that they don't get in the way
so that I can work through my feelings

because then I don't let them
get the best of me and ruin my marriage.

That's...

All right,
so exactly what kind of feelings

has this woman provoked in you?

What has he said to you?

Kate, only Paul can answer that.

It's okay, he doesn't have to.

This is why he needed
to make some sort of a...

declaration of commitment to me.

This is his wagging finger,

his "I did not have sexual relations
with that woman."

- But I didn't.
- Doesn't matter. This is not nothing.

If this were nothing,
you wouldn't have brought it up here.

If this were just some patient
with a silly crush...

Are you telling me you've fallen in love
with some patient

that you're treating?

You have your insurance guy.

You don't get to play
the outraged wife here.

He's not an insurance guy
and you know it.

Thank you for another one
of your stupid, painful jokes.

And I don't get to play outraged?

Why don't you explain
the last few weeks to me,

while you've been running around
like a goddamn martyr, the whole time

you're chasing some patient.
Jesus Christ. Actually, let me guess.

What is she?
Some girl with no father figure?

He died?
Abandoned her when she was 12?

He loves that type. I'll tell you.

- How old is she?
- What type, Kate?

Girls with that particular brand
of dysfunction...

A tasty little daddy complex
so he can sweep them off their feet.

It's daydreaming, that's all.

Maybe it's a little more
than daydreaming.

Look, I wanted to come clean here.

Now you know.

The reason I'm telling you
is because I want it to stop.

You want to stop what?

You wanna stop wanting to fuck patients?
How do you stop that?

I don't know, but we might try
acting like a couple

who actually might want
to be together.

Maybe you can describe to Kate what
you're experiencing with this patient,

like Kate did with Edward.

Look, you can't...

You can't compare the...

She slept with somebody.
I allowed myself a fantasy. That's all.

I never admitted it to this woman.

- I certainly never acted on it.
- But you were dying to.

Yes, I was dying to, but I didn't.

Anyway, she quit therapy.

I forgot to tell you,
she quit therapy on Monday.

Well, good. Now you can fuck her
without worrying...

- Or losing your license.
- Or maybe now,

I can try to save our marriage
or what's left of it, which,

- apparently, isn't very much.
- Did you say Monday?

Monday?

Monday, yes.

That's why you wouldn't go with Max

on a Monday? Because you didn't want
to miss your session with this girl?

Are you serious?

Max...
He's having a lot of problems at school.

There was this conference
with his teachers

and Paul wanted
to reschedule because...

I knew something was wrong.
I knew it.

And all your speechifying,
all your fucking sanctimony,

walking around like the mortally wounded
and the whole time... Jesus.

Makes total sense now, doesn't it?
A million little things.

When did this start?

- How long has this been going on?
- How long has what been going on?

- I told you nothing happened.
- I'll tell you when this started.

It started a year ago, didn't it?
Am I right?

Jesus. What happened to us?

What happened to us?
What happened to you?

What happened to you, Paul?

Edward, he was nothing.

- Nothing?
- Can you say it's nothing?

Can you say it's nothing with this...

- What is her name?
- I can't tell you. I'm not allowed to.

I wanna know
and you'd better tell me, Paul.

I am not fucking around.

Why don't you tell me
it's nothing with Laura?

My God.

I made a mistake. I made a...

With someone I couldn't even be in...

- God damn you.
- What do you want?

Do you want me to say it's nothing?
Because it isn't nothing.

That's why we're here.
That's why I'm here.

Fuck you.

Paul, you can understand
how she's feeling.

She came here wanting
to leave her affair behind

and work on your marriage.

Then she finds out that
you have feelings for another woman.

It's not the same thing, Gina.

Still...

You've both been pulling away
from the relationship.

Now what's left is to fight over
who's been hurt the most.

Why?

Why is anyone cheating?

Looking to someone else
for a connection?

How did the marriage end up
feeling this empty?

Okay, this is a first step.

We'll keep looking at these reactions
and what they mean,

where they started.

As I said in the beginning,

we should meet a few times

and then decide to go on
with couples therapy or...

Or some other solution.

I'd like to pay you for my sessions
so far and for this one as well.

No, we don't have to do that now.

Five sessions. How much...

Paul, as you said in the beginning,
some lines have been blurred here.

So, I haven't even thought
about this.

Let me figure it out
and I'll send you a bill.

What exactly am I going home with?

What the hell am I supposed to do
with this before...

For our next installment?

Kate, you can call me anytime.

Paul, you know that.

And if you wanna meet
before next Friday, it's fine.

I'm here.

Thanks, Gina.

Take care.