In Plain Sight (2008–2012): Season 4, Episode 5 - Second Crime Around - full transcript

I'm telling you,
it's a fantastic product.

I'd have my own granddad
invested...

If he was still alive,
poor guy.

He's in a better place.

There is no better place to be

than our high yield
development loans.

The best part is,

you're not investing
in some mall.

You are helping the people
of Nickerson, Kansas

build themselves a church.

Tell him, John.



No! We're decided.

With these bonds,
I can lock you in

at 10% a year.

In this Market, the big man
himself can't beat that.

But don't thank him for
a lower capital gains rate.

That's the work of my man
right there.

Well, like I said,
we're decided.

Here you go, son.

20 years of savings
right there.

That's great.

The best part is, with cash,

I can get you invested today.

Folks...

You won't be sorry.



Ronnie.

Hey.

Whoa.

Here's the Richmonds'
30 grand for the boys.

Plus five for you
and five for me.

- They know.
- Know what?

The boys know
we've been skimming.

Christ, what are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do?

These people are mobsters.

They will kill us.

I gotta go.

FBI, put your hands up!

FBI! Turn around
and put your hands on the car!

Any of you guys got AAA?

Coffee sour?

You're making that face.

it's this clown.

Ronnie Dalembert.

Ah, the affinity scammer.

Sells good samaritans
on phony bonds

to build imaginary churches.

I don't even like church,
I hate this guy.

Con men are the worst.

They're great on the stand.

Blend in anywhere.
They play ball.

That's what they
want you to think.

Maintaining such a dim
view of humanity-

isn't it exhausting?

That's why they make
energy drinks.

Look, Marshall, we hide
murderers, smugglers,

every crayon in
the wise guy wannabe box.

But... con men.

They don't just
take your money,

they rob you of your dignity.

They leave you poor,
wide-eyed,

and stupid
on the side of the road.

And if you think there's
a chance in hell

this son of a bitch can
up and whistle a different tune,

I got a seaside condo in Beirut
I'd like to tell you about.

Maybe lay off
the energy drinks.

Hey, you love this guy
so much, he's all yours.

And, in advance, I told you so.

I'm sure you have
1,000 questions.

No, no, no.
I'm all good.

You've read the document
in full?

Don't need to.

Because if you're at all hazy

on any of the details
of this agreement,

and you go off the reservation,

you'll be out like
madras pants.

I'm all good.

I mean, new name,
no medical records.

No credit. Yeah.

I've done that before.

Didn't even need
the faking my death

two-day head start
this time.

Just gotta get a job.

Get that cash flowin' again.

But that's no sweat, 'cause
I got a killer work ethic.

Ask around.

We'd check your references,

but a majority of them
are deceased.

Look, I'm testifying
against a bunch of guys

who have stolen
a hell of a lot more than me.

Guys who will kill me.

You think I wanna
screw this up?

But yeah,
so I stole some dough.

But I am not in their class.

And I'm working
with you guys now.

You know, the good guys.

A notable exception being

that you prey
on charitable christians.

How you guys sleep at night,
I'll never get it.

I've always been
a great sleeper.

Just sign the thing.

Evolution is a funny thing,

developing defense mechanisms

that work solely
on the element of surprise.

Case study: When I was seven,

Scott Halley and I caught
a lizard in his backyard.

Hey, Stan.

- Where are you?
- Burger kKng.

Well, grab me a Whopper Jr.,
no pickles.

Don't forget your mitt.

"A," get your own whopper.
"B," I don't own a mitt.

Which follows since, see,
I don't play softball.

Mary, it's Marshals
versus APD

I'm not a team player, Stan.

And that's a direct quote

from last year's performance
appraisal.

Besides, my Saturdays
are sacred.

- Since when?
- It's a recent development.

Look, team sports with coworkers
isn't fun, it's work.

And I don't work on my one
special, blessed day.

Good-bye, Stan.

The lizard was so shocked,

it shed its tail
in Scott's hand,

at which point
Scott started bawling.

His dad said the tail
would grow back.

But before we could witness
the reptilian resurrection,

his parents split up

and his mom
moved him to Sarasota.

Point is, to survive
is to let go...

Of old habits, new friends,

and to shed your tail
every now and again.

It leaves scars,
and it isn't pretty,

but if you look close enough,
what is?

Brandi, I'm late.

I've got a surprise.

Yeah, and you know
how much I love those.

- It's Mark.
- What's Mark?

Mark-he's in town,
and he wants to see you.

Mark...
That Mark?

Yes, your ex-husband Mark.

Don't say ex-husband.

We were married
for less than a week,

20 years ago.

Okay, well, unlike you,

I am still Facebook friends
with people back in Jersey.

And I was chatting
Tina Pasquale.

Tina Pasquale heard
about the Internet?

Tina says Mark's
really evolved.

Yeah, so's the Taliban.

Look, Tina, by the way-

Married the P.E. teacher,
I know, I know.

His status updates
are hilarious.

See, this is why
I'm not on Facebook.

And by the way,
just because he's in town

doesn't mean I need to lay
eyes on my-

and I'm only saying it
because you did-

ex-husband.

Mark.

Hey.

Since 1970,

the Federal
Witness Protection program

has relocated
thousands of witnesses,

some criminal, some not,

to neighborhoods
all across the country.

Every one of those individuals
shares a unique attribute

distinguishing them
from the rest

of the general population.

And that is,
somebody wants them dead.

Wow.

Blazer and a BlackBerry.

What, are you
playing dress-up?

Heh, well, I knew
I was gonna see you.

BlackBerry's fake.

He owns his own business.

Let me guess-
ticket scalping.

Silent partner in an OTB.

Actually, it's something
a lot more exciting.

I'm in the heating
and ventilation game.

Really?

So if you have any problems
with your pipes,

I can go get my tool belt.

What, you're not buying?

Buy the tool part.

So, what are you
doing here anyway?

Uh, he's in town
for the H-Vac Convention.

This year's all about
chilled beam... technology.

- Really?
- Bad-ass, right?

- Yeah.
- Listen, if you want,

I can, you know,
pull some strings,

see if I can get you
some tickets.

Just say the word.

Yeah.

So this seems kind of, um...

Stalkery.

No! Your sister set it up.

Blame social networking.

I'd love to,

but I'd really just
rather blame my sister.

You haven't aged at all.

You haven't aged a day.

All right, maybe
a couple months.

- Uh-huh.
- Maybe.

Seriously, you look
unbelievable.

Right. Well,
we both look unbelievable.

Social conventions.

Listen, I've got
this thing across town, so...

Yeah, right.
Brandi said you were a marshal?

She's pretty important.

Too important
to have dinner with me?

For old times' sake.

Yeah, I wouldn't
sell old times.

Mary, play nice.

Okay, listen,
what's gonna get you

out of my house the fastest?

You saying yes to dinner?

- Fine, dinner. Yes.
- Yes!

I make it a point never
to sell past the sale.

This is me leaving.

- Right.
- Bye.

Bye.

Seriously?

Oh, my God.

How sweet is he?
Oh, my God.

I mean, 20 years later,
he's still totally on fire.

Brandi, I think it's great

you're getting
your life together.

Your bra is completely
showing, by the way.

But I don't need your charity.

Okay, don't fix me up.

Not with the most recent guy
you just suckered

into buying a convertible.

Not with some club foot
divorcee

from Peter's synagogue.

He has a shoe that fixes it.

And certainly not
with my ex-husband. Copy?

Oh, now he's
your ex-husband.

Yeah, okay.

Are you going to work?

It's Saturday!

Good morning.

Mmm, very good morning.

You Southern Methodists

must do something
about your P.R.

People have got the wrong idea.

Where are you going?

I thought we could take
a couple showers,

tandem-style.

Oh, and while it pains me
to decline

your generous offer,

it's the last day
of the Rare Book Show,

and I've had a first edition
of Elmer Gantry

on reserve for 36 hours.

Ohh! If I wasn't
turned on before.

Also, I've got to get home
to change.

Things are going good for us.

Isn't it time you started
keeping some of your stuff here?

Oh, boy.

Even, and I hope this
isn't too forward,

but...

I got you a lock box.

It's fitted out for a Glock 23.

There's room
for your Tac light too.

It's... beautiful.

Here's the thing.

There's a thing?

Many guys
are commitment-phobic.

I, on the other hand,
have been accused

of virulent
commitment-philia.

And the lock box is a sign

that I'm
a commitment-phile too.

Today, it's a lock box.

Tomorrow, we're fighting
over paint chips

and planning
our Christmas card.

It's April.

I've been known
to April Christmas shop.

Look, I don't wanna ruin this.

We need to take things slowly.

Just till we know it's real.

Can you do slow?

I can try.

Can you?

I'm actually not sure.

Whoa.

Mary.

Long time, no see.

Six months, three weeks,
two days.

But who's counting?

You are looking so...
centered.

Christ.

Can we talk?

Privately.

Yeah.

Um, Pete, I'm gonna
catch up with an old friend.

I'll be in the back
if you need me.

Gosh. Mary Shepherd.

Follow me.

Welcome.

Wow.

This is all yours, huh?

- Yeah.
- Hate to admit it, Ronnie,

but looks like you
might have actually

turned into a decent guy.

I think my girl
Danica would agree.

Hm. You know,
I just wish

all your other witnesses

could channel
the amazing energy out here.

It's the negative ions.

They increase the flow of oxygen
to your brain.

It's...

Ions. Right.

Well, the shop sure looks busy.

I'm killing it.

Had to hire two new
part-timers last month.

Wow. Good for you.

So... anything else
I need to know?

What is knowable?
Really?

Are we?

Is all this knowable?

So true.

All right, then,
this officially concludes

our surprise WITSEC inspection.

See you soon.

Broseph!

Great to see you.

Ha!
Hey, love that tie.

Oh, it's an 80%-20%
silk-cashmere blend.

So dope!

So... have you, uh,

given any thought
to our discussion?

I did, um, a number
of analysts said

you can't get
1% a month right now.

Doin' the research, huh?

Love it.

It's all about leveraging
the carry trade.

We buy government-backed
mortgage securities

yielding 6%.

Thanks to Allied Reliant's
unique relationship

with the Bank of Japan,

we pledge those bonds
as collateral to borrow at 0%.

Easy-peasy.

I think I'm ready to invest.

Great.

'Cause, with cash,

I can get you invested today.

You won't be sorry.

Sorry is the last thing
I'll be.

You know...
I been pickin' up

a lot of negative ions in here.

Or are those positive ions?

- He's-
- Yes, he is.

You mind taking a walk?

Wait, I was
under investigation?

Sure looks that way.

- Does Marshall know about this?
- Not yet.

I'd ask you for the details,

but you'll only
have to repeat them

for the SEC-
that'll be fun.

Nice work, noob.

Best Saturday
I've had in years.

Come on, let's go...
chop chop.

Freeze! FBI!
Don't move!

Don't move!
Get your hands up!

I'm a U.S. Marshal,
you idiots!

Someone should have
called ahead.

Heh.

- On a Saturday, Mary?
- I thought I'd surprise him.

Certainly surprised
the FBI,

not to mention your partner,

whose witness this is.
How's it goin'?

Ladies, how about
a couple back slaps,

a little "nice work"?

The scumbag is scamming again.

I mean, the fact that the FBI
Was onto him too

is beside the point.

In fact, no, actually,
it is the point.

What point?
You have no point.

I have a point.
I was right!

All right, all right.
That's enough.

I am operating an office
with many masters, Mary.

It's hard, okay?
It's hard. I got a hard job!

And I authorize you
to investigate a witness-

- My witness.
- I gave clear guidelines, okay?

If you got some kind of hang-up
about con men-

- Which she does.
- Stan, I was doing my job.

Your job is
to make my job easier.

You had dirt on Ronnie,
you should have told me.

Chief McQueen.

Dana Taylor from Financial
Crimes is on the phone.

Wants a sit-down
at her office.

Ronnie Mcintire
is a protected witness.

You tell her our witness,
our turf.

I'll tell her myself.

Man... it was gonna be
such a good day.

Bust a bad guy,
watch some crappy TV.

Curl up in bed
with a box of wine.

Now... this is all
screwed up,

and I got a date with
my ex-husband.

Your what?

Oh, yeah.

I was married for five days
when I was 17.

- You were what?
- It was no big deal.

We were young and stupid.

Well, we were young
and he was stupid.

Anyway, he's in town for
an air conditioning convention.

Wow, there is no way
to make that sound sexy.

Whatever, we'll probably
just go to Zinc,

drink too much,
and get in a fight, you know,

for old times' sake.

How has this never come up?

You have an ex-husband.

You know me.
I don't like to brag.

Unbelievable.

So you just blew up
a six-month operation.

Thousands of man hours gone

with no actionable
intelligence to show for it.

FBI Should be used
to a lack of intelligence.

And for the record, you got
in the way of my investigation.

Ronnie Mcintire isn't Ronnie Mcintire,
he's my witness.

Actually, he's
my partner's witness,

but just so we're
on the same page here,

we're his WITSEC inspectors.

I'm actually with fugitive
investigations.

Shut it, Eberhardt.

It's a silent "t,"
"Eberhard."

So that's why Ronnie
doesn't exist...

Before 2009.

What do you think
was going on here, Dana?

Con men.
False identity.

We see it all the time.

The ironic twist here is-

I think I'm using
the word correctly-

is you guys
helped him create it.

Yeah, because you guys
in the windbreakers

already busted him in Nevada,

and he testified
in a trial last year.

It's called-gosh, I hope
I'm using the term correctly-

Witness Protection.

So your little sting-

what was that supposed
to accomplish?

I was gonna bounce him
out of the program,

turn him over to the SEC.

You mean the SEC,

CFTC, and IRS?

This fund he hooked into
is huge.

Way bigger than your guy.

We should have
coordinated, Stan.

Witness Protection's
a classified program.

And your investigation
was a secret.

Just paint me a picture of how
that would have gone down.

All right, all right.

Look, what happened, happened.

Bottom line is U.S. Attorney's
hip-deep in this case.

So let's just bury the hatchet
and grab a mop.

You realize you're not
just out of the program, right?

You're on a bullet train
to making

a whole lot
of new friends in prison

for what sounds like
a hilariously long time.

I don't see that happening.

As usual, you guys
got this all bunched up.

Look, forget
the carry trade fund.

You're missing the big picture.

Marshall, carry trade,
50 words or less.

It's all based on Libor.

The London Interbank
Offering Rate.

I'll send you some websites.
I shouldn't have asked.

- That's my fault.
- Big picture, gang.

You let me cooperate,

I deliver you
you Julian Conran.

Please.
No way Julian Conran's

involved in some
two-bit scam.

Right. Except
this two-bit scam

is not what it appears to be.

And I know where
the money's going.

It's guns.

This isn't about
robbing people.

It's about funding
Julian Conran's arms business.

The fund buys guns.

That money needs to be cleaned.

And it all flows through
Allied Reliant.

Look, I am gonna build
you guys a case so airtight,

it would make Noah jealous.

Noah, he built an ark.

Yeah. Course,
that means you need to drop

all charges against me.

I love it.

If you testify against
Julian Conran

and Allied Reliant-

- Yeah.
- No.

No! No! No!

We're not giving this weasel
another bite at the apple.

Do we even do that?

For Conran?

Stan, I'm gonna steal a desk,

loop in the Attorney General's
office.

You gotta be kidding me.
You gotta be kidding me.

This guy, this parasite,
goes right back

to running another scam,
gets caught by us,

and now we're gonna what?

Think of it less
as parasitic than symbiotic.

- It's a win-win.
- Win-win.

That's how you're
gonna sell this?

We clear this with
the Attorney General's office.

Odds are, you'll maintain
your status

in the program,

and you'll be relocated
once again.

About that...
Look...

We bring these guys down,

I am gonna be the most
valuable witness

the Marshal Service
has ever seen.

And I'm not waking up
in Albuquerque.

More platinum plus relocation.

Now, we're gonna
need to get creative.

Oceanfront steez.

You realize
that this is a scam, right?

- This is, right now!
- We'll know more tomorrow.

For now, if you can just go grab
his W.C. File, please.

Sure, no problem.
Anything else?

- Want a cocktail?
- Yeah.

The sooner you get on board,

the sooner we get him
out of our hair.

I miss you already.

Seriously, take it down
a notch.

Give yourself a blemish.

I'm only one man.
You look unbelievable.

What is that?
Your one line?

I'm pacing myself.

I'm on a one-adjective-
a-week plan.

I see.

Whoa!

You like it here?

I thought you said
it was too... something.

You must be Mark.
I'm Marhsall, Mary's partner.

- This is Abigail.
- I'm the girlfriend.

Hey, Mark, Mary.

Uh-huh.

Hey, fun idea.

Let me see if they
have a table for four.

That is fun.
I'll supervise.

Is this 'cause I put
your cell phone in jell-o?

This is because,
once upon a time,

you got to grill my dad
on my youthful indiscretions.

And you know what they say
about payback.

Hi. Do you have
a table for four?

It was only
a carton of cigarettes!

You didn't know
they were stolen?

She figured it out.

Yeah, when the police kicked
the motel door in.

It was a hotel.

When the only amenity
is an out-of-order ice machine,

I'm pretty sure that's a motel.

Anyway, it turns out

stealing a carton of smokes

really puts a crimp
in the old honeymoon.

Yeah, also,
he banged the cleaning girl.

What?

She was the receptionist.

Receptionist.
Cut a guy some slack.

I do, actually.
Actually, I do.

Like he was 17,
and what do 17-year-old guys do?

They steal stuff
and bang cleaning girls.

You are very forgiving.

17-year-olds shouldn't
be getting married.

It was a long time ago.
We were kids.

Actually got divorced
on our honeymoon.

- How romantic.
- Yes.

She was, back then.

- In a tough sort of way.
- Hmm.

A sandpaper romantic.

So do you guys live together?

No. No, no,
no, no, no.

No, actually,
that's a good question.

We do not live together.

We are taking things
good and slow.

Are you now?

Tell us all about that.

Um... well...

Abigail and I recently
discovered

we're both commitment junkies.

Without proper monitoring,
there's the potential

for implosion.

And the torch has been passed.

You are officially
more dysfunctional than I am.

- How is that dysfunctional?
- You kidding?

Yeah, I don't know you guys,
but, believe me,

I've made very mistake
in the book.

Books, plural.

But taking it slow?
What is that?

You're just lying
to yourselves.

Slow is for suckers.

Jump to the truth.

Bedroom or couch?
I'm good either way,

but full disclosure-
I'm not 17 anymore.

I got this back thing.

Less talk, more couch.

Mm, more couch, good.

Wait, hold on-there's
something I need to tell you.

- What, what?
- I still have a dancer's body.

You're welcome.

What if your mom
busts in again?

You have no idea
how possible that is.

Mark.

Mark!

Oh, my God.
This is fun.

Mark... wake up.

I gotta go to work.

It's Sunday.

I'll sneak
into confession after.

Come on, this isn't a B&B.

If you're doing that
to turn me on,

it's working.

It was fun.

We went, like, almost six hours

without a screaming match.

I was tired.

Not that tired.

Am I gonna see you again?

You gotta leave
to find out, right?

Come on, let's go.

Will you excuse me
for a second?

Hi.

- How are you?
- Hi, stranger.

I'm good, thanks.

Did you have a good time
with Mary?

Yeah, she's still
got that, uh...

Judgmental streak?

I was gonna say spark.

Okay, good.

Hey, is, uh, Peter around?

There's something
I wanted to run by him.

Kind of a business thing.

Okay, the Attorney General
approved the operation.

Congratulations, you're still
a protected witness.

Gosh, you know
what would be awesome?

If the FBI
Could just do its job

and gather enough evidence
to raid Conrad's place

without using this tool.

But Julian never gets
his hands dirty,

and you'll never get a warrant.

That said,
the guy's got problems.

What kind of problems?

The kind where his arms route
to Mexico stalls out.

It stalled because we just

shut down two tunnels
under El Paso.

I got an idea.

Ooh, this is gonna work.
Trust me.

"Trust me."
What is that, a reflex?

Julian throws these parties

for high net worth invfstors

at his place in Scottsdale.

You guys get me in there,
you will nail that bastard

on fraud and arms dealing.

Just gotta give him
what he wants,

and reopen those tunnels.

Is that doable?

Sure, just need to liaise

with our colleagues
on the ground.

You'll consent
to wearing a wire?

Oh, I'll wear anything.
Except Jean shorts.

I'll get our team
up and running.

No, Dana... the thing is-

A witness going undercover
is a nonstarter

unless his inspectors
are there to secure his safety.

And when was the last time
you worked undercover?

We're always undercover.

That's the job.

Seriously, in my real life,
I'm a total bitch.

We need to get Conran
making the deal.

Not some flunky who
may or may not flip.

Conran.

Good news is-
oh, and this is perfect-

Julian's got
a thing for blondes

with big tits.

That is good news.

If lacking in originality.

A little bit.

Here's a game.

I vouch for the Texas hookup.

Marshall's there as your what?

Financial advisor.

And Mary, you're my new lover.

Say "lover" again.
I dare ya.

This is the best Sunday
I've had in years.

So we're clear.

We sit tight here
in the Catering van.

Marshall, you get
the financial pitch.

Mary gets Conran's gun sale
on tape.

- She's wired.
- How?

Her earrings.

We've got agents
in with the caterers

in the backyard.

The key is getting Julian
to the bedroom.

There's a camera planted
next to his bed

in the alarm clock.

We get one shot at this,

so... do what
you have to do.

All right,
Mary's waiting for you.

You good to go?

Good enough.

Oh, those look good.
What are they?

Roasted chanterelles
on a pecorino tuille.

Great, that clears it up.

Hmm. No, thank you.

Can I get you a drink, Donna?

I'd love a tonic
with this much gin.

Maybe hold the tonic.

I'll just take two.
They're small.

Bad guys always
have the best food.

Ah, you know what
this reminds me of?

Three Days of the Condor?

I used to run the Marshal's
Special Operations group.

Is this the part where I ask

if you've ever shot anyone?

Not this year, but...

It's still early.

How you doin'?
You holdin' up?

Okay, thanks to
some double-sided tape.

Hmm.

That Conrad?

Sucking up to colonel Sanders?

Yep. Ooh,
I got that dude in.

That guy too?

He's flush.

Yeah, well, not for long.

Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen.

Please gather round.

If I may have your attention
for one second.

First of all,
thank you all for coming.

I hope you've had a drink...

Or three.

Um, I am so pleased
to be offering

a new round of investment
in our carry trade fund.

But, you know what?

I am not the guy to explain

this very complicated fund
to you.

For that, I have
the magnificent Sam.

Sam, get up here.
Do your thing.

Thank y'all for coming.
Talk to you soon.

Welcome, welcome, everyone.

Thank you so much for joining us
on this beautiful day.

So we're all here
for one reason.

And we're up.

- Julian.
- Hey.

This is, uh, my, uh, friend.

Right, Mrs. Frechette.

Miss.

Julian, I hope you don't mind.

I brought my money guy.

My favorite kind of guy.

Shall we?

Please.

You'll have to excuse me.

I'm a tad security minded.

Oh, who isn't these days?

How can I put you at ease?

Well, a little frisking
never hurt anybody.

Guys, do your thing.

Wouldn't want to sully the mood

with a gun or a wire.

No.

Can I ask you something?

Sure.

Would you object
to a little pat down?

Never.

Here, let me help.

So you boys don't miss
anything along the way.

- Hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

My compliments.

Ronnie, would you please
take Mr. money and go mingle?

If we're talking business,
I'd prefer to be present.

I'd prefer to conduct
my business in private.

I hope that's not a problem.

It's okay, Pete.

Go on.

I'm sure you'll be welcome back

when it's time to dot the I's.

Well, I'm a world-class
mingler.

Ronnie.

- So...
- So...

You and Ronnie...

You're, uh, what, exactly?

We try not to label it.

Anyway, when he looks at me

all he sees are dollar signs.

Then he's not as sharp
as I thought.

That's my wife.

She's in Utah.

With my best friend.

Some friend.

We make it work.

So I understand you have
a supply problem.

Down in Tay-has.

Such a crime, this pipeline
right into Mexico.

And who, exactly,
would be on the other side?

My business partner.

You're gonna have
to do better than that.

Or what?

I mean, you're the one
who's out of luck down there.

I'm the one with the money.

Or am I missing something?

No, it's just that I don't
deal with intermediaries.

Funny, me neither.

- Ms. Frechette-
- Donna.

Donna.

I don't know you...
Donna...

And I need to feel comfortable.

I flew the small plane here,
Mr. Conrad.

I hate the small plane.

Now, you're the one
with the problem

down in Tay-has.

You wanna know the name
of my business partner?

Someday, maybe.

But right now,

all you need to know
is that I'm the one

who's gonna get your tunnels
opened up.

Is that a fact?

Mm-hmm.

Give me a second.

I need to make a phone call.

So let's talk
about tax implications...

As in how to avoid paying them.

That should be me up there.

Guy's a total amateur.

Quiet, I'm begging you.

I'm impressed.

The tunnels are open.

It seems
I've underestimated you.

You're all smiles.

I'm just replaying our
little security check.

So...

What's a girl gotta do

to get a grand tour
around here, hmm?

She's gotta follow me.

'Cause the grand tour
starts in the bedroom.

Mind reader.

There we go.

Gosh, I bet all the kids

love hangin' out
at your house, huh?

Indeed they do.

Look at all these toys.

So I think...

This is what you're after.

Lightweight, compact,

and with a slightly
longer barrel,

you have an effective range
of 50 meters.

Hmm.

How many can I get?

How many can you get?

Well, that would depend
on the price, now, wouldn't it?

And I've been thinking...

Not good.
Not good.

I need to ask you a question.

What's that?

Why are you really here?

Hmm, getting all...
existential?

You need... what I have.

Say it.

I need what you have.

Ah, here we go.

See? I told you
it would be fine.

So, should we, um...

Run through this real quick?

Compact automatic hand guns.

What's say we start
at 500 pieces.

Price?

Mil and a half.

- 1.3.
- 1.4.

Done. Half upfront?

Half on the back end.

Speaking of which.

Right, but...

Till we're good and square,
it's...

Still about being comfortable,
isn't it?

Well, that's a pity.

Charles, we have a deal.

Good!

So then we'll take delivery
in Brownsville.

Is tomorrow night too soon?

Too soon?
No such thing.

700, that'd be half.

Now...

Shall we get back to business?

Absolutely.

Just gotta run through
some fine print,

and then I have every intention
of picking up

where I left off.

- Excellent.
- Ah, Charles.

The fine print.

Ronnie here vouched for you,
but, see, you're new.

So I'm going
to hang on to Ronnie

until the sale clears.

That's called insurance.

Don't you wanna keep somebody
I actually care about?

Keep my financial advisor.

Hell, keep me.

Well, as enticing
as that sounds,

my wife gets back tomorrow.

It could be awkward.

And if Ronnie's
not important to you,

why do you care
if we hang on to him?

We're not leaving
a protected witness behind.

We got him; We'll get Ronnie
on the other side of the buy.

Bad news, guys.
We're going in. Let's go.

I came with him
I plan on leaving with him.

Then your plans need
to be amended.

Julian, if I can
jump in here for a second-

Ronnie, dear,
the grown-ups are talking.

Who the hell are you?

I'm a U.S. Marshall,
and whatever you're thinking

about doing, you probably
wanna think again.

Ronnie,
get in the bathroom, now!

Uhh!

Uhh!

Hyuh!
Uhh!

Phone!

You could have asked for help!

Why? I had it
under control.

Can I come out now?

No!

You have one new message.

Hey, it's Brandi.

I wanted to talk to you
about Mark.

Peter said he's not
hiring right now.

Uh, I was thinking
maybe you could tell him.

Anyway, hope you had fun
wherever you were.

Gift.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

So, uh, what do you like?

Sushi, Mexican?

Um... listen, I'm not...

I'm not really hungry.

Um...

Brandi- Brandi left me
a weird message.

She said that you
asked Peter for a job.

I can explain that.

Just hear me out, okay?

I got downsized-

Look, I don't really-
save the sales pitch.

So I get this idea
for my own business,

my own thing.

I pay my way out here
for this convention-

- Mark, stop.
- I didn't lie to you.

I could have made up a story.

You didn't have to.
You're the same guy I knew.

These are the same moves.
That's not fair.

- It's not true.
- Honestly, I really don't care.

- You don't care?
- No!

It's 20 years later.

What'd you think
was gonna happen?

Before I came here,
I don't know.

But then I saw you.
We still have a good time.

You gonna tell me you didn't
have a good time on our date?

- It was hardly a date.
- We had dinner.

It wasn't a date.
We never dated.

You know, not for nothin',

but I'm a good salesman.

And I could earn
for your brother-in-law.

Except he's not
my brother-in-law yet.

He's just some rich guy, right?

Look, let's not-
let's...

Look, a half a lifetime ago,

we were really good
at one thing.

Turns out, half a lifetime
later, we still are, so...

Mm-hmm.

You were always
an unbelievable kisser.

You too.
Unbelievable.

Good night.

Yeah.

See, this one is a compound.

This one says estate.

Just pick a house.

As tempting as it may be
to brag,

resist the urge.

We can't know.

You'll fly through Miami,

where you'll be officially
handed over

to your new inspector.

I think I speak for
the entire department

when I say, "we can't wait."

You know, I never saw myself
in a French colonial,

but these views, uhh, come on.

Okay, I'm done.

Do you believe we're just
rolling out the red carpet

for this douche bag?

That's what we do.
We keep douche bags honest,

and occasionally remunerate them
even when they aren't.

Oh, disappearing.

It's not a bad deal.

No baggage, no...
exes tracking you down.

So you and Mark are...

I just couldn't buy a ticket
for a movie I'd already seen.

So...

How are things with Abigail?

Good.

Good.

I averted my eyes.

Excuse me?

When you did that, you know,

with your dress.
I averted my eyes.

It might not
have looked like it,

- but I didn't see-
- Oh, oh! Oh, my God.

- What?
- Well, I don't know.

I was hoping some sort
of alarm or earthquake

or something would
save us from you

- talking about my-
- Guys...

I figured it out.

I can't tell you
where I'm going.

But don't worry,
it is crazy nice.

Two words...

Infinity pool.

Toothbrush.

Changes of underwear-
two.

Body wash.

I've got body wash.

Addendum. Non-hibiscus-scented
body wash.

And finally...

I'm ready to put my gun
in your lock box.

I should have practiced
that speech

on the way over.

You don't have to practice
anything for me.

♪ ♪

- Firearm!
- Oh!

Clear!

♪ ♪

Forward progress is impeded

ws:

Inertia, friction,
fear of the unknown,

and the impeccably bad timing
of half-charming ex-husbands.

♪ ♪

But somehow,
improbable as it may be,

we find ourselves
not quite free of the past,

but lurching toward the future,

inch by bittersweet inch.