In Plain Sight (2008–2012): Season 4, Episode 4 - Meet the Shannons - full transcript

Excuse me.

Killer night.

I could move another 100 tabs

if you have another bag.

We got bigger problems.

Where the hell is Ryan?

Tell him to get his ass here.

♪ ♪

Ryan, where are you?

Things are going bad here.

That's not what we agreed on.



- Oh, my God.
- English, asshole.

Ryan, I got to go.

Go, go, go, go.
D.E.A.

- Help!
- D.E.A. Hands up.

Get her out of here now.

Am I gonna see you tonight?

Not unless you're picked up
on a B&E.

I own a crowbar.

Keep Saturday night open.
A certain someone

managed to finagle reservations
at the Andaluz Spa.

That's...

Next to impossible
and I'm amazing?

Well, both of those, yes.

The thing is,
I'm not a big massage guy.



Who doesn't like a massage?

Me.
I just... don't.

Don't make me break out my
pliers and interrogation lamp.

Okay, four years ago,

I was scarred by a masseuse.

Ooh, nasty breakup?

No, not emotionally scarred.

Literally, physically.

You see this?

Umm, no.

From my first time
on the table.

And my last. There was
cortisone cream involved.

I can't even talk about it.

Four years ago.
No, it's awful,

but four years
is an awful long time ago too.

Also I have to work
this weekend, so...

- Hi, Mary.
- Hmm.

Well, if I can't change your mind

and nix your bizarre
massage phobia,

I guess I'll nix
the reservation.

And so it begins.

And so what begins?

er:
The Marshall Mann edition.

She zeroed in on what
needs fixing, I'm telling you.

Don't get me wrong,
I like Abigail, I do.

You hide it well.

But you know the type.

She's a fixer.

Trust me,

aside from late-night cramming

for her sats,
that girl will not rest

till she's
completely changed you.

Sharon Harris. Huh.

When's the last time
she called?

She never calls.
Too busy baking.

You thinking snickerdoodles?

- I'm thinking.
- Unbelievable.

Gardner transforms Sharon
into a witness

worthy of the WITSEC
hall of fame,

drops a PTA president

in your lap
on the way out the door.

- Talk about a layup.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Eight years
of Mary Shannon later,

the woman is still
on the straight and narrow

and baking.

You're welcome, America.

I give you that.
17 years in,

not a whiff of trouble.

"Urgent."

Way to jinx it, numbnuts.

Everybody fakes it...

Pretending they like
the friend's spouse,

feigning interest in the ozone
or Christmas carols at the door.

Just it seems somehow
smarter or nicer.

Kinder... funnier.

As if we ought to be
Canadians or something.

Hey.
Thanks for coming so quickly.

You texted "URGENT," all caps.

Also the five exclamation points
tipped me off.

- What's up?
- Beth.

Now it is my distinct pleasure
to reward a girl

who can always be relied on

for last-minute
dress emergencies,

a shoulder to cry on,

and heartfelt words
of encouragement.

Miss Congeniality,

Beth Harris.

Urgent.

See?
It says so right there.

Come on.

Beth has been--
her whole life--

sunshine personified.

Three days ago,

storm clouds.

Teenage girl seems moody.

I'll call CNN.

No, Mary.

It's not that.
I know my daughter.

Look, Sharon,
if this is drugs or whatever,

it's pretty standard
for the age.

I mean, I don't have
to tell you.

- Where is it?
- Look, that's less

of a WITSEC issue,
more of a you issue.

Something tells me

you'll consider this
a WITSEC issue.

Oh, Jesus, Sharon.

I never said a word.

I swear.

Since 1970, the federal
Witness Protection Program

has relocated
thousands of witnesses,

some criminal, some not,

to neighborhoods
all across the country.

Every one of those individuals
shares a unique attribute,

distinguishing them from the rest
of the general population.

And that is,
somebody wants them dead.

From the day
I entered this program,

I have lied about who I am

to coworkers, friends,
to my family, Mary.

- I know.
- 17 years.

And for the last 16,

since Beth was born,

I have dreaded this day

that I knew was gonna come,
and here it is.

So what do I do?

You calm down.
Okay?

We're gonna deal with this.

Look, she probably got this
off the Internet, right?

I don't know.
I guess.

Would she talk to anybody
about that, do you think?

I don't know.
She's 16 years old.

She's been carting this around
in her backpack!

Okay. Hey.
Look, right now,

all I care about
is your physical safety.

- That's my only concern.
- This isn't--

it's not about
the goddamn Yakuza.

- It's about my daughter!
- Sharon.

She's never gonna forgive me.

Hey, mom?
Erin and Tiff are gonna...

- Is that--
- Sweetheart.

Oh, my God.

- Wait, so--
- Sweetheart.

Wait, so that stuff
on the Internet,

that's--that's you?

That was my life
a long time ago.

But I made the choice
to get out,

and so I testified,
and I started over.

You were a drug dealer?

And, what, are you on the run
from the Japanese mob?

Or--I mean, or the cops?

Beth, please trust me.

We're fine.

No! - - We are fine now.
Not--

This is not fine, mom.

I don't even know
where to begin.

Mary.

What-- what--
what the hell

does Mary have to do
with this, huh?

Beth,
I'm a U.S. Marshal.

Okay, your mother is in
the Witness Protection program,

and she has been
for the last 17 years.

And so have you
for the past 16.

But I can promise you,
you are safe.

And so's your family.

Wait, what, so you're
not family friends?

Beth, are you in there?

Beth?
Beth, your father and I,

we love you so much.

Oh, my God.
Dad?

You lied to him too?

I'm so sorry.

This is not how I wanted you
to find out.

What's going on in there?
Hello.

Right.
We'll be right out!

This is big and delicate,

and this cannot continue here.

Well, I'm not going anywhere--

You want to bet?

Let's go.

Hey.

- I got the stuff.
- Thank God.

I was this close to making
Sharon bake at gunpoint.

What's the plan?

First we find out
what happened,

how the hell
Beth got that photo.

I want to talk to dad.

I know.
I've already called him,

and he's driving back
from Santa Fe.

He'll be here soon.

Right.
'Cause I believe you?

'Cause you haven't
been lying to me

for my entire life?

Kids.

Don't see the upside.

Go away.

Look, Beth, you have no idea

how much I wish
the world worked like that.

Is that it?

Your bedside manner sucks.

Doctors have bedside manner.

I've got a gun and a badge.
And this muffin.

Witness Protection?

It's like we're in some
lame-ass movie of the week.

- Seriously?
- Listen, everyone wishes

their parents
were something else--

cooler, nicer, just less them.

Disappointment comes
with the territory.

Beth, I need to know.

How'd you find that photo
of your mom?

It wasn't hard.

There's this show.

It's - il:
Humanity's Worst Criminals.

- You've seen it?
- Sure.

It's a classic.

Well, the promo
this week was all

about the Yakuza,
some Japanese mob,

and the floating rave
in San Francisco.

Site's bookmarked.

They were kids caught up

in the '90s San Francisco
rave scene,

selling ecstasy,
living the dream,

until a drug deal
with the deadly Yakuza went bad.

And the Japanese mob turned
their dream into a nightmare.

A life snuffed out.

- Innocence lost.
- Wow.

You must really want to talk
to your friends

- about this, huh?
- Yeah.

That can never happen.
Do you hear me?

Ever.

The people
who are after your mom,

they have really long memories.

What do you think,
one of my friends

is gonna, like,
call the Yakuza hotline?

It only takes one person.

One person making
an innocent comment

in public or on Facebook.

"Look, I'll tell you this,
but you have to promise

you won't tell anybody."
That's what it will sound like.

A series of telephone tag
leading right to your doorstep.

Give it a week.

And the men they'll send,

they won't care
that you're a kid.

They'll be glad.

You'll be
your mother's kryptonite.

They will kill you.

All of you.
Painfully.

You're scaring me.

Good.

Sharon!

- Dad.
- Beth.

Dad!

- It's gonna be okay.
- It's not okay, dad.

Yes, it's gonna be okay.

She was a drug dealer.

Her friends killed some guy.

Sweetheart, I'm so sorry.

She made up the accident

that killed grandma and grandpa.
I mean, who does that?

Someone who understands
the importance

of keeping questions
to a minimum.

Exactly.

Beth, this is hard, okay?

And this is hopefully
the hardest thing

you'll ever have to go through.

But this is something
to get through.

Listen to me, sweetheart,

'cause you need to hear this.

Sweetie,
your mother loving you,

that is the opposite of a lie.

- Are you defending her?
- No.

Yes.

- Sweetie, this is complicated.
- Oh, my God.

You knew.
You knew.

You knew what?

The whole time?

She could tell him, but not me?

We'd prefer she told no one.

I just-- I-I couldn't lie
to him anymore.

But you could lie to me?

Awesome.

Oh, God.

Who are you people?

Beth, your mother's
the same person

she's always been.
Y- es, exactly.

Sweetheart, she is the same

wonderful, flawed,
loving person.

The fact
that she made some mistakes

before you were even born,

it doesn't change that.

Dad.

Are you even my dad?

Hey, don't.

Come on, sweetheart.

Of course, I am.

I met your mother after
she already got relocated.

We met at the Home Depot.

Remember?

On Twin Palms.

And I met him
in the paint aisle.

And he helped me pick out
that color.

Remember Sunset Sonora?
Are you seriously

going down Memory Lane now?

Oh.

Hey, um, is Beth here?

Yeah, but now's
not a good time.

Oh, my God,
I'm so happy to see you guys.

You have no idea.

Sweetheart, I don't think
now is the best time.

Mom, we could really use
something to celebrate.

We'll be in my room.

Come on, you guys.

Four squealing teenagers
running up to the room

of a fifth
with a lot on her mind.

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

I'm on it.
Wait, Beth.

I'll meet you guys upstairs
in a sec.

Just so we're clear,

if you tell any of them
anything,

I will move you
and your family so fast

it'll make your tiara spin.

If you ever want to watch Glee
with them again,

you hold your tongue.
Got it?

Have fun.

I'd like to dance but
*** not so much.

That's it.
I'm revoking key privileges.

What are you guys doing here?

We need to go over
the wedding plan with you

before we talk it over
with the Alperts.

At the lunch that you promised
to attend.

Right.
Yes.

The formal meeting
of the families

where they deliver yaks
in exchange for your hand.

And where we all play
minesweeper?

What--what is that?

It's the seating chart.

- Oh, my God.
- We can put the tables here,

and the buffet line will
be perfect on this far side.

And I think I can squeeze in
a small dance floor

right over there.
Yeah.

- Wow.
- Unless, umm, how do you feel

about that olive tree?
My friend Hector

could cut it down
for next to nothing.

- The olive tree?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

The olive tree in my backyard?

Mary, I can't exactly afford

the ballroom at the Biltmore.

No.
No Hector.

And hands off my tree.
Anyway, this is crazy.

Peter's got more money
than God,

and his parents make more
than both of them combined.

Seriously?

This is, like, quarters

in the cushions to these people.

Which is exactly
why we have to do this.

That's Brandi logic, right?

It'll be small,
but it'll be ours.

- Yeah.
- And classy.

Ah, "ours" and "classy."
And they said it'd never work.

Mary, you know, technically,
it is mom's responsibility.

Says Emily Post,
who, by the way,

wrote that book
when women couldn't vote.

Mary.
I'm taking care of this.

And I don't want any pushback
from you.

Fine. You know
what I'm gonna take care of?

A glass, some salt,
and this much Tequila.

Adios.

Okay, let's get started.

A life snuffed out.

Innocence lost.

Two dead, one banished,

all lost in the web of...
"Pure Evil".

So on the docket today,

a little fugitive-recognition
exercise.

It's pretty simple really.

Now one of these women

is featured on the clip
you just watched.

Question is,

based on a 17-year-old image,

who do you collar?

Serious?

I once made a perp I glimpsed

for all of two seconds,
and that was after he had

had plastic surgery.

That's very impressive, Delia.

If you would please just write
down your answer.

I'm gonna go with "D",
mole girl.

Mm-hmm.

You know, you don't have
to check on me 24/7.

What are you talking about?
I'm not checking on you.

I always hang out
in the smokers' section

with the cool kids.

This is
where the cheerleaders sit.

Ah, that explains the hives.

Listen, Beth,

I know you think
all I care about

is your physical safety,

but I wanted to tell you

I know how hard this must be.

You know?

Keeping all this stuff inside.

And there's people
you can talk to.

It's just all of it
is mind-blowing, you know?

They were always
just Sharon and Karl.

Just kind of sweet and artsy

and crazy over-protective.

Mary, they were
the dorky parents

that my friends made fun of,

and, all of a sudden,

I find out
that my mom is a drug dealer.

My mom?

And if she did that,
what did my dad do?

I mean, who are they?

I get it.
I do.

I mean, coming
to that realization gradually

over years is hard enough.

But going from "A" to "Z"
in five minutes--

I just want to go back.

This is going to be hard
to hear, Beth,

but, for you, there is no back.

There's only here but different.

Hey.

Hey.

Look, I'm gonna give you
my cell.

Okay? Call me.

Any time.

Just, if it's early,

don't expect miss congeniality.

Hey, how'd you meet Abigail?

Good morning.

Just go with me here.

At the Joint Task Force
briefing.

Exactly.
See?

You just gave me the headline,

not every single detail

like Karl and Sharon did
last night.

You saying it was rehearsed?

I'm saying it's hinky.

You hate hinky.

All right.
Let's huddle up.

I'll just come to you, I guess.

I was just with Delia
and the others.

And across the board, they match
Sharon the drug dealer

with Sharon the PTA mom.

That little beauty mark
is killing us.

We got to stop
that documentary from airing.

I was thinking
the exact same thing,

but not to worry,
'cause I got this.

Cool.
John Wayne mode.

Love John Wayne mode.

What? I know a guy.

Even better.
Godfather mode.

- I wear many hats, Mary.
- You wear many hats?

Don't tee up
the bald jokes for us, Stan.

It takes the fun out of it.

Huh.

Uh-oh.

What?

What's uh-oh?

Known associates of Moon Munn

before she turned
into PTA mother of the year.

Is that...

- Karl?
- A.K.A. Ryan Marsh--

Sharon's boyfriend,
the gun-running one

that got away.

God, I hate hinky.

Governor Richardson,
look at that.

Came in for a Q&A,
stuck around for pictures.

- Huh.
- Hell of a guy.

So how's life?

Stanny, you're as lousy
a bluffer at the poker table

as you are away from it.

- This ain't a social visit.
- Oh, you got me.

You got me. Actually, no,
I need a favor, Kev.

And it's a big one.

Uhh...

I need you to pull
this week's Pure Evil,

the Yakuza episode.

- This is a joke, right?
- I wish it was.

Why?

I'm not at liberty
to discuss that.

Yeah, well, I'm not at liberty

to violate the first amendment.

I respect that, I do,

but--
you know what, you're right.

I shouldn't have imposed.

I know you got a job to do.
I crossed the line.

- You get where I'm coming from?
- Absolutely.

I got a station to run.

Hey, no explanation necessary.

It's just--

it's a little too important.

I had to give it a shot.

Okay?

I mean, you know,
you'd never reach out to me

if you needed help
with anything, so...

Anyway, okay.

- Actually, Stan.
- Mm-hmm?

There is something.

Those speed traps
are a bitch, huh?

How did you--

Hey, you can relax.
I got this.

- Okay?
- Really?

I know a guy.

So APD, FBI,
the local chapter of AAA,

no one has a single shred
of anything

on Karl
before he married Sharon.

He works construction jobs,

paid strictly under the table,
so...

So there goes the paper trail.

And here comes the photo trail.

This puts Karl right in there
with the dead Yakuza.

But even if Karl is Ryan,

Ryan didn't pull the trigger.

- He wasn't even there.
- What, are you kidding me?

He was an active part
of the organization.

He supplied the guns.
It's felony murder.

You're right,
but we can't say for sure

that the guy Sharon married
is the guy

- in the picture.
- You're right.

And I can't say for sure
that this morning's headache

is a direct result
of last night's triple Tequila.

- Got a hunch, though.
- All right. All right.

Let's just sit tight till
we authenticate the photo.

All right, it could be any guy
in Haight-Ashbury.

We're not going off half-cocked
on an innocent man.

Fine. How do you feel
about quarter-cocked?

Hey, Mar.

What's up?
Everything okay?

Yeah.

Yeah.
I screwed up, Karl.

I'm sorry.

I should have done this
yesterday.

What?

Well, we have to--
we have to tap your phones.

And I forgot to have you
sign off on it.

My boss'll be pissed if--
anyway, it's just a precaution.

It's temporary.

We have to make sure
Beth doesn't break protocol.

Teenagers.
You know.

- Oh, ah.
- Cool.

You had me worried there
for a second.

You know, I remember,
I don't know,

She--she couldn't have been
more than 10,

and I had just started
making furniture.

I had a few private clients.

But back then,

I could only work
on the weekends.

So Saturday morning, Sharon,
you know, would be up at dawn

out volunteering,
and it was up to Beth

to make Saturday breakfast.

So I'd be banging away,

buzz saw screaming,

and she would walk in,
holding this plate

over her little head.

She had made what she called
sunshine toast.

You know,
you take out the middle--

- fry an egg in it.
- Yeah.

You've had this?
Hangover food.

Exactly.

She was...

Beth.

That kid is the best thing
we ever did.

Maybe the only...

Look, Karl,
building a new life,

it's hard.

And when you're building
on top of a lie...

Yup.

Yeah.

Kids are tougher
than you think, though.

Give her a little time
to adjust.

The new normal.
All that.

Anyway, thanks for this.

Happy to help.

Psst.

Ooh, let me guess.

We got a guy in holding
who's a friend of yours.

Oh, I hope not.

Actually I'm just here
about some speeding tickets.

Oh, Stan.

You know I'd love to help,

but moving violations?

I am in the big leagues now,

or did you not catch the gleam
of my Detective's badge?

Well, I'm sure
you know someone.

- Chocolate croissant.
- Get thee behind me, Satan.

Carbs are the last thing
I need.

- Oh.
- Having said that,

am I to understand

Marshall is on assignment
this weekend?

Well, am I to understand

you'd rather he not be?

Just looking
to put something right.

What a coincidence.
So am I.

- Coffee?
- I'd love to.

Hey, what's the deal
with Karl's prints?

We're still waiting
for that to come in.

Seriously?

How do we not have
that information yet?

On 24, Chloe would have it
for Jack in two seconds flat.

Well, this isn't CTU,

I'm not Chloe,

and you sure as hell
aren't Jack.

What's that supposed to mean?

I could totally be Jack.

We can only find information

that actually exists.

To this point, Karl's prints
didn't ding anything

- in the database.
- Worst Chloe ever.

I'm sorry. We have
a strict no jeans policy.

Really?
How's your badge policy?

Do you have a no badge policy?

Tess yates from the FBI
ordered a hand-search

of all the non-scanned
print records.

And how long's that gonna take?

Precisely as long as it does.

Damn it.

Wish I were Jack Bauer.

Where are the Alperts?

Hi.
Sorry I'm late.

Hi.
Mary Shannon,

- sister of the bride.
- So glad you could make it.

Not to mention shocked.

Couldn't miss the show.

Ooh, little shrimps.

Hal, Dora,

while we're waiting
for the entrees,

I would love to show you

where we are
with the wedding plan.

Oh.

How clever.
Look, Hal.

It lays everything out.

As you can see,

Mary has so graciously

offered her backyard

for her sister's wedding.

I'm sorry, Jinx,

this is all extremely delicate.

And we wouldn't want
to step on any toes.

Then don't.

What Hal is trying to say

is that we're not sure

that Mary's backyard will fit

the reception we had in mind.

Umm, between extended family

and business associates,

we were thinking a guest list
more in the 200 to 300 range.

And it would be wrong for us

to impose our guest list
on you.

But if you'll indulge me,

I think I have a solution.

We'll throw the wedding
at the Country Club.

Three, two, one.

Hal, oh,
that is so kind of you.

But this is my responsibility.

Which is why we would love

to use your lovely plan

to host the rehearsal dinner.

Really, it would be just like
a matter of swapping duties.

I'm sorry.

But someone's got to stand up
for my mother.

She's worked so hard
to plan this wedding.

And she's been looking forward
to this

since the day I was born.

I mean,
look at her little board.

Shh.

What's most important

is that our kids have
the wedding of their dreams.

And if swapping duties
will accomplish that,

then I am more than happy
to step aside.

Ohh!
So happy.

That is wonderful.

Okay, okay, okay,
but I want to make

one thing perfectly clear.

You are gonna have the little
shrimps at the wedding, right?

You got it.

Yes, yes, yes.
Yes, yes.

I'll fish for them myself.

- You're all very... yeah.
- Thank you.

Mom, you didn't have to do that,
you know.

I mean, it's my wedding.

Who cares about their third
cousin's precious feelings?

Brandi, keep up.

- Huh?
- Well-played, mom.

- Genius.
- Thanks.

Your dutiful daughter routine
really brought it home.

- Thank you.
- What are you--what?

Wait, you guys just conned
my in-laws?

Just taking care of my girls.

Oh, my God.

Mom!
Thank you.

- That's actually really sweet.
- Hello.

Yates came through.
We got the match on Karl.

- You were right.
- Hey, I'll catch up.

Okay.

He's Sharon's
former accomplice Ryan Marsh.

So Sharon's been hiding him
in WITSEC this whole time.

Unreal.

Fugitive Task Force

is gearing up
to make the arrest.

Buy us one more day?

I want to prep Beth
for another blindside.

Oh, boy.

Hey, there, sunshine.

I thought I was taking the bus.

Yeah, well,
I cut out early today.

Come on.
Hop in.

Look...

I know that this
has all been a lot.

And you have every right

to feel exactly like you do.

Your mother and I have made
some mistakes, sweetie,

but we're gonna love you
a lot longer

than you're gonna hate us.

Yeah.

I guess.
Come on.

Everything's gonna be
back to normal

before you know it, I promise.

In fact, look, we're already

back on track.

I'm picking you up from school.

You're ignoring me.

Stop.

Hey.

Beth, I'm at your house.
Where are you?

I'm just in the car
with my dad.

Okay.
I don't have time to explain,

but I want you to listen
to me very carefully.

Do not let your dad know it's me.

Do you understand?

Um, okay.

There's a 7-11 on the corner
at University and Central.

Tell him you want a slurpee,
and wait for me there.

What's going on?

Just wait for me.

Who was that?

Oh, that--that was
just Erin,

actually.

Oh.

Dad.
No, dad.

What did she want?

Beth.

What did Mary want?

Nothing.

Dad, I don't know.

Yeah, absolutely.

Hey, can you just hang out
for just one second?

Hey, Karl, I'm with a client.

Hey, babe.

We're stopping by the DQ
before heading home.

Cool?

Umm,

yeah.

Bring me a vanilla cone, okay?

And I'll be done here soon.

Vanilla cone.

Got it.

Dad, what's going on?

- A little family trip.
- No.

I'm not going anywhere
with you.

I'm in trouble.

Okay?

Your mom too.

Beth.

If we stay,

your mom and I will go
to prison.

We got a hit on the ATM card.

They took out $600
just off of 25 North.

Fugitive Task Force
is setting up checkpoints.

Your witness is on the run
with her daughter

and fugitive husband.

You really felt
this was the best time

- to grab a slurpee?
- I was waiting

for Beth for 20 minutes
at a 7-11.

What am I, a robot?

Robots are more sensitive.

They had 16 years
to plan their escape,

and they use an ATM?

You think it's a head-fake?

I know it's a head-fake.

You didn't just put shadowing
software on Beth's laptop.

You added a tracker.

I figured it couldn't hurt.

Of course, at the time,
I was worried

about her taking off,
not getting abducted

by her own parents.

Paranoia pays.

Beth and her laptop

are headed for Mexico.

Come on, grandma.
I thought this thing

had a little get-up-and-go.

It does and not just a little.

Well, what, are you saving it

for a special occasion?
Come on. Come on.

Turn off the engine!

Turn off the engine!

Turn off the engine.
Put your hands

where we can see 'em.

- Where's Beth?
- She's safe.

And you have her laptop.

Excellent.

I'm not gonna help you
find them.

You can shoot me.

Uh-huh. Good.
Thanks.

Task Force has sewn up
the southbound checkpoints too.

They haven't crossed
a State line.

I found Sharon's
disposable cell phone,

but the call log is empty.

No way of getting Karl's number.

So you think
you're doing her a favor?

Protecting her dad?
Keeping him out of jail?

I mean, a drug deal went bad.

It's not Karl's fault
people died, right?

People always say
wrong place, wrong time.

Karl wasn't even
in the wrong place.

Mm.

You know where he was
the night of the bust?

I have a feeling

I'm about to find out.

Holed up in our apartment

chained to a radiator.

We'd started
the hard stuff by then.

Karl knew we had to get
off that track.

I was so in love with the idea

of us as Courtney Love
and Kurt Cobain.

And he saw we were heading
straight for Sid and Nancy.

- Karl did.
- Poor Beth.

So many role models,
so little time.

Who do you think
straightened me out, Mary?

You think I just came
into the program

scared straight?

He turned my life around

right after
he turned around his.

And now he's doing the same
to Beth's.

Not working out so well
this time, though, huh?

Beth was our chance
to do what our parents didn't.

We tried to get it right,
you know?

I knew this little girl.

Her dad was a fugitive.

Took off when she was little,

left the whole family behind.

And she would fantasize

about, you know,

if he'd taken her with him.

Just the two of them.
Life on the road.

Step ahead of the law.

But that's all it was.

A fantasy.

Dragging a kid along
for the ride,

for that ride,

I mean, what kind of life
is Beth gonna have?

What kind of friends?

And what's the point
if she has to bolt

at the drop of a hat?

School, career,

a family of her own?

Come on.
You think she withdrew before?

Just wait.

Hello?

I think that we should cross
the border together.

Yeah.
Meet me at that place

outside of Las Cruces.

Okay.

See you there.

I love you.

I love you too.

Hands. Hands.

Let me see your hands.
Hands in the air.

- Where's Sharon?
- Hands in the air.

- What's happening?
- Where is she?

- It's okay, baby.
- Dad!

- It's okay.
- Don't worry, sweetie.

- No, don't take him.
- It's okay.

Don't take him!

He didn't do anything.

- Listen to me.
- I'm gonna be okay.

- Dad!
- I'm so sorry.

Don't leave me, dad.

Please.

- You'll see me soon.
- Okay.

- Mary, he didn't do anything.
- Look.

Look at me.
Look at me.

Do you trust me?
Do you trust me?

- No!
- Hey!

You're gonna look back on this,

maybe years from now,

and you're gonna realize

living like that is not living.

I promise.

I promise.

I promise.

Come here.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Showed up to work today,

and Stan told me to come here.

Any idea why?

Look, lord knows
I have been guilty

of this in the past,
but I refuse

to play any psycho girlfriend
games with you,

so I am just going to say it.

I was hurt when you didn't want
to go to the Spa with me.

I mean, who works that hard

to get out of a massage?

I figured you wanted
to break up with me.

That's the last thing I want.

Except a massage.

Kinda.
Look, odds are,

as soon as I get
on that massage table,

it'll send me
right back to 'nam.

I'll be hearing the choppers,

feeling the trip wires.

I think I have a compromise.

- No 'nam?
- No 'nam.

I will see to it personally.

Oh.

That could work.

So I'm officially entering
the Witness Protection Program.

Do I have to change my name?

No. No, you were born
into WITSEC.

Congratulations, you're my
first witness who won't have to.

And so my dad,

- he's, like, going away forever?
- No.

Not forever.

D.A. in San Francisco

opted not to pursue
the worst of the charges.

He has been a law-abiding
citizen for 17 years.

If he continues
the good behavior,

he'll be out in five to seven.

He'll serve his time in
California under his real name,

and when he's done,
he'll be Karl again.

Back in Albuquerque.

Thank you.

Oh, there's one more thing.

I'm not calling you Moonbeam.

I need you to take Beth
somewhere.

I wouldn't ask you,
but house arrest.

Lindsay Lohan all of a sudden.

Oh. yeah, no,

it's fine.

Just let me know
when to pick her up.

Okay.

Hey, Beth.

Do you have a sec?

Listen, I know
it's gonna be hard

giving them another shot,

but, my two cents,
I think you should.

'Cause if you don't,
it just ends up--

just take it from me.

Sometimes the change is real.

Sometimes they surprise you.

Whatever.

But thanks.

♪ Mm ♪

♪ I don't believe
in anything but myself ♪

♪ I don't believe in anything
but myself ♪

♪ ♪

And now it is
my profound honor to present

our finalists.

There comes a time when every kid
peeks behind the curtain.

and sees she's not the only one
who's putting on a show.

Fathers, mothers,

cops and robbers,

every member of the PTA.

All playing dress-up,
all in their masks.

A constant Halloween.

And Beth Harris.
♪ And so it goes ♪

♪ this soldier knows ♪

♪ the battle with the heart ♪

You know, now that
she's starting to place,

maybe Beth could really use
some help

losing those pesky
last few lbs.

- Oh.
- You know what helped Sarah?

- It was baby food.
- Oh.

Amazing for portion control.

You're everything
that's wrong with the world.

And our second
runner-up is...

Beth Harris.

That first peek behind the curtain,

the lifting of the mask,
it's a disorienting moment.

The solid ground beneath you
sweeps away the quicksand,

along with all
you thought you knew.

♪ but how do I know ♪

♪ if I'll make it through ♪

But you realize,
as day and nights go by,

that there's a kind
of truth in the lie.

That the mask
is often more revealing

than the face
that lies beneath.

Because the person
you pretended to be...

the mother, the father,
the sister, the cop...

became, somehow,

the person that you are.