I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 6, Episode 7 - Deep Sea Fishing - full transcript

In Miami Beach, Lucy and Ethel make a bet with Ricky and Fred as to who can catch the biggest fish. To ensure winning, the day before the contest, each pair buys a 100 lb. tuna and stores it in ice in the hotel bathtub. Laughter ensues when the guys and the girls switch fish and bathtubs to hide them from one another. They all get caught when they decide to drop the charade and get rid of the fish. The next day they go out on the boat and Lucy's and Ricky's lines get tangled and Ricky goes overboard. Lucy hauls him in with her line.

It's the "I Love Lucy" show,

starring Lucille Ball

and Desi Arnaz.

And brought to
you by L... I... L... T.

New Lilt.

The only home permanent
with squeeze-bottle magic.

Boy, what lousy luck.

Everybody on the ocean
was catching fish but us.

Yeah, well, Fred,

it's not important how
many fish you catch.

It's the sport that counts.



You believe that?

Well, no...

but it helps to say it

when you haven't caught anything

in a couple of days. I see.

Hey, there's a note
here from Lucy.

"Ethel and I have gone
shopping for beach clothes."

What, again? Beach
clothes. Beach clothes.

That's all they think about.

You know something?
I think I got an idea

how to keep them
from going shopping.

How?

Well, the next
time we go fishing,

we'll take the girls with us.



Are you crazy?

The fish aren't biting as it is.

Why antagonize them further?

Take your choice.

You're either going to
take Ethel fishing with you,

or you're going to let
her run wild in the shops.

Well...

She might easily
spend over $100.

Welcome aboard, Ethel.

I thought you'd see it my way.

I'm going to get
out of these clothes.

And I'm going to
take a little nap.

Ricky?

It's all right, Ethel.

He's taking a shower. Come on.

Oh, Lucy...

when Fred sees all this
stuff I bought, he'll kill me.

Oh...

He may faint first,

but when he gets up off
of the floor, he'll kill me.

Oh, now, Ethel, pull
yourself together.

Come on. Hey, hide
your packages in here.

Can I, honey? Yeah.

Oh, thanks.

I don't know what came over me.

I walked in that store and I
saw all those beautiful things

and I just got drunk with power.

I know. I got a little
plastered myself.

I spent $68!

Let's see.

That's my clothing allowance
for the next eight weeks.

I spent $72!

How many weeks
allowance is that for you?

I should live so long!

How are we gonna tell the fellas

we bought all this stuff?

I don't know, but
we're gonna have

to break it to them gently.

Whoo!

Hey!

I think I'm getting an idea.

Well, encourage
it. I'm desperate!

How's this?

The next time the
boys go fishing,

we'll insist on going along.

Oh, Lucy, what are
you talking about?

They'll never take us with them.

Exactly. They'll refuse.

So...?

So, we'll say, "Well,
if we can't go fishing,

we'll go shopping."

And then when they come back,

we'll show them
all those packages,

and they won't be able
to say a word about it.

What do you think?

In spite of what I think,

let's do it. Okay.

When are you going to tell them

we're going fishing with them?

I think they're
going in the morning.

Let's tell them right
now. Go get Fred.

Okay.

Oh, hi, honey.

Hi. How was the
fishing? Any luck?

Terrible. Not a bite. Oh...

I think our boat is a yinx.

Oh, ho-ho! Of course
your boat isn't a "yinx."

Well, something is
wrong someplace.

Come on, come on.

Oh, man, can't even get
a chance to take a nap.

What are you dragging
me over here for?

I told you!

Lucy wants to talk to you.

Well, we were just thinking...

You know, uh, Ethel
and I aren't getting

the most out of this trip.

After all, how much of Florida

can you see from
the inside of a store?

So, we decided
that the next time

you go fishing,
we'd like to go along.

You want to go fishing with us?

Yeah. Unless, of course,
for some reason or other,

you don't want us to go along.

Then I suppose we could
spend some more time

in those stale shops.

Oh, no, no! We want you to.

Well, I think it's
a wonderful idea.

You do?

Yeah!

You don't think it's
a wonderful idea,

do you, Fred?

Honeybunch, I think it's swell.

Fred, you know me.

You know how I get on water.

I'll be hungry and
thirsty and cranky.

What's your excuse on dry land?

But what husband
wants his wife along

on a fishing trip?

We do!

And besides that, it was
you who suggested it.

Yeah!

Yeah.

Yeah, so I did.

And I think it's a
wonderful suggestion.

You might turn out to
be a great fishermen.

Yeah. You might
even catch something.

Yeah! I'll bet they-they
catch the biggest fish

on the whole trip.

Right!

I'll bet we could at that.

I'll bet you could, too, honey.

I mean a real bet.

The women against the men.

We'll bet you that we'll catch
a bigger fish than you two.

Well, you want to
make it interesting?

Yeah!

All right. How much
you want to bet?

Uh, 68 and, uh...

72, uh...

$140, plus tax.

Huh?

Well, make it 150 even.

That'll be, um, $75 apiece.

Lucy...

Uh, where are you gonna get
the money to pay if you lose?

Out of our clothing allowance.

Lucy, could I see you
in the hall for a minute?

Now, don't worry, Ethel.

Ricky, you were saying

that your boat was a jinx?

Well, now, just so Ethel
and I don't get jinxed, too,

what say we have
a boat of our own?

Okay with you, Fred?

Okay? It's perfect.

Well, I'll see that
the hotel gets

a different boat for
you two in the morning.

Oh, fine. Well,
then, it's all settled.

Yup. I'll go get dressed.

And I'll take another
crack at that nap.

Yes, sir.

Are you out of your mind?

We don't know a
thing about fishing!

We won't lose a thing, Ethel.

I have a plan.

Now, look... I'm
still recuperating

from your last plan.

Oh, now, Ethel.

Now here's what we're gonna do.

Right after lunch,
we're going out

and buy the biggest
fish we can find,

and we're gonna have
it here for insurance

in case we don't catch anything.

Have it here? Yeah.

Where will we keep it?

In the refrigerator here
in the hotel kitchen.

Well, couldn't we
get it in the morning?

You know how
early they go fishing.

There won't be time.

Now, listen. I
remember seeing a pier

not far from here...

Oh... careful.

Ooh... oh...

Oh!

You and your hot ideas.

Well, was it... is it my fault

if the chef didn't
have any more room

in the refrigerator?
Close the door.

Go ahead, close it.

Okay.

And was it my fault
there's a convention here

and he just made
2,000 ice-cream molds

in the shape of a
shriner's hat? Oh!

Well, let's put it somewhere.

Moby Dick is getting heavy.

Well, we can't put it anyplace.

We gotta hide it.

Now, we gotta hide
it before Little Ricky

comes home from the playground.

I'd hate to have to
explain this to him.

Why would you
have to explain it?

Isn't he used to having
tuna around the house?

Oh, be quiet.

Hold on a minute now.

I'll see if I can
get it in this closet.

All right.

Oh, I can't put it in
there with the clothes.

Oh, Lucy...

Even if you find
a place to hide it,

you can't just keep a
dead fish in your room

all night and all day tomorrow!

But we gotta hide it.

We can't let Ricky
and Fred see it now.

Oh, great. We got a
hot tuna on our hands.

Oh...

Come on.

I know. We'll put
it in the bathtub.

In the bathtub?

Yeah. Help me get
ahold of this thing.

All right.

We'll pack it in ice cubes.

All right.

Hey, won't Ricky
find it in there?

Well, I'll draw the shower
doors around the tub.

Okay.

Come on.

All right.

Got it?

Oh!

Lucy? What?

What if Ricky wants
to take a shower?

One thing at a time.

We'll worry about
that when it happens.

Here, let me have it.

Where are the fellas?

They're at the Seaquarium
taking publicity pictures.

They'll be gone for hours.

Oh, that's good.

Room service, please.

Room service, this
is Mrs. Ricardo in 919.

I'd like some ice cubes, please.

Oh... how many?

About 4,000.

No, I don't need any glasses.

Well, you see, they're...
they're for the bathtub.

The bathtub!

I think I'd better come
down and explain.

I'll be right down.

Come on, Ethel.

This explanation is
gonna take two of us.

Okay.

You and your great ideas.

Buying a hundred-pound tuna

in case we don't catch anything.

I didn't want to take any chance

on losing that 75 bucks.

And you said the
chef was gonna keep it

down in the refrigerator.

I still think

he was giving us
a song-and-dance.

Whoever heard of ice cream
in the shape of a shriner's hat?

Did you see the
wild look he gave us?

Yeah. You'd think
somebody came to him

with a hundred-pound
tuna every five minutes.

Where are we
gonna put this beast?

Well, can't we put
it in your bathtub?

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Oh, my God, watch out, Ricky.

Hey, wait a minute. What?

We can't put it in there.

Why not?

Lucy brings Little Ricky
back from the playground,

she gives him a bath,
she's sure to find it in there.

Oh, that's great.

Let's put it in your tub.

No, no, no, no, no.

Suppose that Ethel
wants to take a bath?

Listen, this was your idea.

You'll think of
something. Let's go.

Now, really!

You'd think the Eden Roc Hotel

would have 4,000
ice cubes on hand.

Oh, sure.

All the guests must
keep fish in their bathtubs.

I'm going to see how
our "guest" is doing.

How is he?

He's resting comfortably.

Never mind. Never mind.

I'll go take a hot bath.

Oh, hi.

Good-good-bye, good-bye, Rick.

Bye.

Hi, dear.

Oh, hi, honey, hi.

How was the Seaquarium?

Fine. Wonderful.

We have to take Little
Ricky there sometime.

Oh, yeah, that's good idea.

How was your day?

Fine... fine.

That's good.

Where are you going?

I'm going to take a bath, dear.

Take a bath? In Miami Beach?

Wow, with the whole Atlantic
Ocean at your doorstep?

Oh, take a dip.
Take a dip, honey.

It's much more refreshing.

No, I don't want to take
a dip. I want this bath.

Well, well, look, honey.

Let me draw the water for you.

A wife should do those things

for her husband
anyway, don't you think?

While I'm drawing
the water for you,

uh, why don't you go in there

and-and find Little Ricky's
red swimming trunks.

I promised to take them
down to him at the playground.

Would you do that for me?

All right.

Ethel? Ethel?

Yeah?

You got a visitor.

Honey, I can't find
those swimming...

What are you doing
here? Where's Lucy?

I didn't see her.

Wow! That was a close one.

What are you talking about?

The fish. Ethel had the
gall to want to take a bath,

and when she went
in the dressing room,

I sneaked the
fish out of our tub

and stuck him over
there in your tub.

Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.

What's the matter?

Ay...

Hi. Where'd you go to?

I had to talk to
Ethel for a minute.

Oh.

Uh... I couldn't
find the trunks.

Oh! He's wearing them.

Oh.

Ethel, I thought you
were gonna take a bath?

Well, I, uh, I...
changed my mind.

I thought you were
gonna take a bath, honey.

Yeah, well, uh... I
changed my mind.

Oh, well, if you're not
gonna bathe, I certainly am.

All right. Oh, wait, honey!

You don't want to take a bath

here in Miami Beach

with the whole Atlantic
Ocean at your doorstep.

Take a dip, dear. Take a dip.

I don't want to take a
dip. I want to take a bath.

You can't. Why not?

Uh... the, uh, the... the
hot-water faucet is broken.

So, I'll take a cold bath.

It will be a terrible shock.

You can say that again.

The-the cold water
makes you sick.

It does not make me sick.

Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah, I got
to think of your health, dear.

If you want to take a bath,
I insist that you take a bath

over at the Mertzes.

I can't.

Why not?

Yeah. Why not?

Okay, Ethel, let's go.

Honey, you can't
take a bath in our tub

with Tillie the tuna in there.

I know it, but I
gotta have a bath.

I gotta get this fish off me.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna take an
ice-cold shower in our tub.

Oh, fine. How are
you gonna explain

to the fellas that
our tub is occupied?

I'm not going to
explain to the fellas.

I'm going to get rid of them.

And how are you gonna do that?

I have a plan. I have a plan.

Well, I have!

919.

What are you
calling your room for?

Now, Ethel, just relax.

I know what I'm doing.

Mr. Ricardo, this is
the manager's office.

The manager would like
to have you and Mr. Mertz

come down to the
office right away.

Thank you very much.

What do you suppose
the manager wanted

to talk to us about?

Oh, probably stuff about
the band or something.

Oh, I see.

Just a minute.

What's the matter
with you? Just a minute.

Now, Ethel, everything's
working out very nicely.

Oh, just peachy.

You're gonna take
an ice-cold shower,

and I've got a
hundred-pound fish in my tub.

Now get this through
your head, Lucy.

I am not going to
keep that sea monster

in my bathtub overnight.

All right, all right.

We'll worry about
that after I bathe.

Now you go on back over
there and guard that bathroom.

Fred will be back any minute.

Uh...

Ethel?

What?

You sure that
fish is in your tub?

Sure I'm sure.

Hmm.

You don't suppose

he could've swum
through the pipes

from your tub back
to ours, do you?

What are you babbling about?

The fish is in our tub.

Oh, you poor little thing.

I knew if you kept
up this mad pace,

sooner or later you'd crack up.

Go see for yourself.

Lucy...

What?

Do you suppose
we've both cracked up?

I don't know, Ethel.

Now don't panic.
Don't panic. Don't panic.

Now we're gonna sit down

think this out
calmly and rationally.

Yeah. Now look.

Um, we brought the
fish up here, didn't we?

Yeah, that's right.

And then who took it over there?

You did.

I did. I took it over there...

Are you sure that was the
manager's office that called?

Sure I'm sure.

Oh, you must have misunderstood.

Look, Fred, I may
speak with an accent,

but I don't listen with one.

Yeah.

Where are the girls?

Lucy's probably
still in the tub.

Honey, I locked
myself out of our room.

You got the key?

That's funny.

Lucy?

Isn't Lucy in the tub?

No... but guess who is.

Ethel?

No... but you're getting warmer.

Quit playing games
with me. Who's in there?

Is the tuna by any
chance a flying fish?

No, no. What are
you talking about?

Go in there and look.

Go. Go in there and look.

Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.

Well?

Well, what?

If you put that fish in our tub,

how did it get
back into your tub?

Oh, I don't know,
but I'm sick and tired

of playing hide-and-seek
with that fish.

Well, that makes two of us.

What do you say we just forget

this whole crazy
scheme of yours, huh?

I'm with you.

But how are we gonna
get rid of our friend in there?

Well, we'll dump him someplace.

There's a big trash
can in that service room.

We'll just pick him up
and dump him in there.

That way, our
hands will be clean.

Smelly but clean.

Well, what are we gonna do now?

Ethel, what say

we get rid of the fish and
call the whole thing off?

Oh, now you're talking sense.

But what in the world
are we gonna do with it?

I don't know.
We'll get rid of it

if we have to get it a room.

Get it a room?!

All right, so we'll dump it
down the elevator shaft.

Sheesh!

What are you
doing with that fish?

Uh... what fish?

That fish.

Never mind this fish.

What are you
doing with that fish?

I asked you first.

Oh, yeah. So you did.

While I'm thinking of an answer,

you tell me what
you're doing with yours.

Well, uh... Fred?

What are we doing with this?

Well, I wa... I was...

Well, that's not the point.

Ethel, why did you get that?

Yeah!

Well...

I know what you were
gonna do with that fish.

You bought that fish

and you were going to pretend

that you caught it.

What a sneaky thing to do.

Well, you were gonna
do the same thing,

so you're just as
snicky as we are.

Oh, you started the whole thing.

That's right. I did not
start the whole thing.

Yes, you did. Yeah.

What do you I
started the whole...

All right, all right, all right.

All right, let's admit it.

We're all guilty,
but the bet's still on.

Tomorrow morning
we're going fishing,

but we'll all go
on the same boat

so there'll be no
funny business.

Understand?

Mrs. Ricardo...

what do you want me to do
with these 4,000 ice cubes?

Where do you want
me to put them?

Four hours and not a bite.

Oh, be patient, Ethel.

Just keep thinking about

all those new clothes
we're gonna get.

Hey, Rick, I'd
better check my bait.

Daddy, what if I
catch the biggest fish?

If you catch the biggest
fish, it counts for our side.

Oh, just a minute now.

He's as much my child
as he is yours, you know.

The bet was the men
against the women.

We get credit for
anything he catches.

That's right.

You couldn't have
had a girl child.

Oh, no, you had to
go and have a boy.

Hey!

I got a fish on mine.

Hey, how about that?

Take it off, Rick! Take it off!

Look at it, hey!

Oh, come now.

How about that?

Oh, you call that a fish?

Aah, your bait was
bigger than that.

Yeah, well, go ahead and laugh.

Yeah, that's the biggest
fish we've caught.

That's the biggest fish
that's been caught out here.

That's right. We're
going back in 20 minutes.

That's right. So far,
that fish wins the bet.

Oh, we still got
20 minutes. Yeah.

I'm going to use one of
those live sardines in there.

That's a good idea.

Oh, I got a fish!

Oh, you got one? I got a fish!

Put on your brake.

I got a fish! What?

Put on your brake.
Hang on to it.

Yeah, I got it.
Oh, it's a big one!

Hang on, Mommy.

Whose side are you on?

Oh! Hang on, honey.

Oh, that's a good one.

We're gonna win.

We're gonna to win, Lucy.

Oh, this has got to
be the biggest thing

that was ever in the ocean.

Come on. Come on. Yeah.

Yeah. Come on. Hurry up.

Ricky Ricardo!

What have you
done with my fish?!

Come on, help him up.

Come on, Rick. Lost my big fish.

Come on. Come on.

Give me your hand.

Oh... Oh...

Give me your hand.

Are you wet?

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, Rick!

Now, now, it's your fault

for getting all
tangled up in my line.

It's my fault for getting
tangled up with you

15 years ago.

What?!

Let's go back to shore.

Well, now, what about our bet?

We won our bet.

Oh... This little baby

just won papa 75 bucks. Yeah.

Thanks a lot, Lucy.

Well, we can't win 'em all.

What's the matter, Rick?

What's the matter with you?

What's the matter with you?!

Let me help...

What is...

How about that?

I caught a fish, too, Fred.

Hey! Hey!

Bigger than yours. Yeah.

That means that we won.

What are you talking about?

Because that fish was
on you, and I caught you!

We won!

"I Love Lucy", starring
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz

was brought to you by new Lilt,

the only home permanent
with squeeze-bottle magic.

The fastest, easiest
home permanent ever.

"I Love Lucy" is a
Desilu Production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz

will be back next
week at this same time.