I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 6, Episode 12 - Lucy and the Loving Cup - full transcript

After Ricky makes fun of Lucy's new hat, she puts on a trophy that Ricky is supposed to present at a ceremony. She finds out it goes on a lot easier than it comes off.

Instant Sanka.

The hearty coffee you can
drink as strong as you like.

It still can't upset
your nerves.

Brings you the Lucille Ball,
Desi Arnaz Show: "I Love Lucy."

Now, ladies and
gentlemen, as a tribute

to Johnny Longden wonderful
riding accomplishments,

the National Turf Association
wishes to present him

with this beautiful trophy.

Applause, applause, applause,

applause, applause,
applause, applause...

The inscription read



"Presented by National
Turf Association

"to Johnny Longden,

"the winningest
jockey of all time...

4,961 victories."

There you are, Johnny.

Thank you, Ricky.

My pleasure, Johnny.

And I wish to add
my congratulations

and the congratulations

of everybody here
at the Club Babalu.

Applause, applause,
applause, applause...

Oh. Hi.

Oh, Ricky, that's a
wonderful speech.

That's the one you're gonna make



at the big affair tonight, huh?

Yeah. Sound all right?

Yeah, it sounded great.

Oh, good.

I'm so proud they asked me
to be the emcee, you know.

You should be. Yeah.

Where's Lucy?

She went shopping.

I told her to go buy a new hat

and a new dress for the banquet.

Would you say that again?

I told her to buy a new
hat and a new dress.

In the 25 years
I've been married,

I have never heard
that phrase before.

Oh, now, Ethel,

I know that Fred
is a little tight,

but I know that if an
important occasion

came around, he would loosen up.

He wouldn't tell me
to go buy a new dress

if he was inaugurated
President of the United States.

Hi!

Oh, hi, Fred.

Well, Rick, I see you
picked up the trophy.

Yeah. Isn't that a beauty?

Listen to this, Fred.

Yeah.

"4,961 victories."

Isn't that great?

Great? It's terrible.

What do you mean?

I didn't have a buck

on any one of them. Oh, Fred...

I didn't.

Well, hi.

Hi. Hi, honey.

What'd you get? What'd you get?

Oh, wait till you see, Ethel.

Wait till you see...

Oh, honey, you got the cup.

Isn't that a beauty?

Oh, it's beautiful. Huh?

Oh, he's gonna
be thrilled with that.

Yeah. The engraver
did a beautiful job.

Uh-huh!

Come on, honey, open up.

Let's see what you bought.

Okay. Oh, listen, dear.

I have a lot of
business to do uptown

before I go to the banquet,

and I don't want to lug
that cup around with me,

so will you bring it down?

Sure, honey. Now, look.

The banquet starts at
7:00, so don't be late.

No, I won't be
late, dear. All right.

Come on, let me
see your new dress!

All right, calm down.

You're acting like you never
saw a new dress before.

Who's acting?

How do you like it?

Oh, it's gorgeous!

Honey, how do you like it?

Oh, it's beautiful.

Looks like a million dollars.

That's probably what it cost.

It was only 49.95.

To him, that's
a million dollars.

Honeybunch, can I help it

if I think of you as
my dungaree doll?

Ethel, wait till you
see my new hat.

Let me see. It's the
smartest thing you ever saw.

Come on, let me
see it. Let me see it.

Well, you really have to
see it on to appreciate it,

so close your eyes, everybody.

All right.

Open your eyes, everybody.

Close your eyes, everybody.

Oh, Fred, shut up.

Honey, it's adorable.

How do you like it, dear?

Well, it's uh... uh...

What are you laughing at?

Oh, honey,

that's the funniest
thing I ever seen.

I'll say it is.

Looks like you're
wearing a fuzzy fishbowl.

Now, honey,

don't you pay any
attention to them.

It's divine.

Yeah, who cares what they think?

They don't know what's smart.

Well, I may not
know what's smart,

but I know what's funny.

And that's funny.

I don't care what you think.

It may interest you two hyenas

to know that this is the
latest style from Paris.

Oh, no.

I think it's the
end, the very end.

The end of what?

I don't care what you think,

I'm gonna wear it
to the dinner tonight.

Oh-ho, no, you're not.

My wife is not
gonna look ridiculous

in front of all those people.

I do not look ridiculous.

You do, too.

You'll be better off wearing...

wearing that
trophy on your head.

You wouldn't look half as funny.

Well, honey, all the
new hats look like this.

Well, then, wear
one of your old hats.

Wear an old hat to the banquet

in front of Johnny Longden
and his wife and everybody?

Look, Lucy, I don't
care what you wear,

but don't wear that. Mommy.

I gotta go. What dear?

I need a bigger
box for my turtle.

A bigger box?

Oh, wait just a minute.
I'll get you one, honey.

Now, Ricky, I'm giving
you one last chance.

Can I wear this hat?

I'm giving you one
last answer... no.

Hey, this is a swell
new house for my turtle.

Hey, stop him!

He can't put his turtle

in that thin'.

Oh, Ricky, Ricky,
honey, come here, dear.

You can't put your
turtle in that thin'.

Isn't that funny, Fred?

Women will buy
anything if it's in fashion.

They certainly will.

How would you know?

You haven't bought me anything
since bloomers were in style.

Oh, good grief.

Ethel, if you're gonna
play that same old tune

on your player
piano, I'm going home.

Well, twenty-three skidoo.

I'll see you later, Fred.

All right.

Honey, I'll see you

down at the banquet! I gotta go.

Wait a minute, dear.

I want you to see the
hat that I decided to wear.

Okay, honey.

Now, what do you
think you're doing?

You said I might as well
wear this, and I think I will.

Very, very funny.

Now, take that
thing off your head

and bring it down
to the club in time.

Oh... Good-bye.

Hey, you're cold.

That was a nice try, girl.

Yeah. I'll see you later.

I got a lot to do.

Ethel...

Ethel, help me get out of this,

will you? It's a little tight.

Oh... Ooh! Ooh!

Oh, Ethel, I think it's stuck.

Oh, this could
only happen to you.

What did you say?

This could only happen to you.

Speak up. I can't
hear in this thing.

This could only hap...

Oh, don't shout.
It echoes in here.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

Here. Come here, honey.

Now, now, just bend over.

I'll, I'll get some...

Okay. Ready?

Ethel!

Oh, Lucy, it won't come off!

What am I gonna do?

Well, we could always
butter your head.

Now, let's not be funny.

I gotta get this
thing off. Now, think.

Okay.

Oh, gosh.

Of all the things.

Are you thinking, Ethel?

Yeah, I'm thinking.

What are you laughing at?

Oh, you don't know how
funny you look in that thing.

Well, this is no laughing
matter. Now, think.

Oh, all right.

Lucy, does heat make
metal contract or expand?

I think it makes it expand. Why?

Then that's it. We'll stick
your head in the oven.

In the oven?!

Yeah. The trophy
will get bigger,

and then your head will be free.

Oh, great. Why don't you
put an apple in my mouth

and barbecue me?

I guess it wouldn't work, huh?

No, I guess it wouldn't work.

Hey, I got another idea.

It'd better be better
than your last one.

Wait a minute now.

Just a second.

Ah! Oh! What are
you doing, Ethel?!

I'm trying to loosen
it like the lid on a jar.

Oh, cut it out, Ethel!

You're giving me a headache.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey. Oh!

Boy, this is a tough one.

Ethel, are you gonna
stay over here all winter?

Oh, Fred, come here
and see if you can help us.

Wait till I tell the
boys in my old outfit

that the Kaiser is still alive.

This is no time for
your corny jokes.

We can't get that
thing off of Lucy's head.

You gotta be kidding.

I am not kidding.

Now, honey, honey, don't cry.

It'll only make things worse.

Yeah, it might get
the trophy rusty.

Fred, what are we gonna do?

Well, we could get a silversmith

and cut it off with a blowtorch.

A blowtorch?!

Or whatever they use.

Then you can weld it
back together again.

Oh, dear. Can't you
think of an easier way?

You'd better think fast,

or you'll wind up
wearing it to the banquet.

He's right, honey. You
haven't got much time.

Oh, no... What
time is it, Ethel?

It's 5:30.

Oh, I'd better call
the silversmith,

tell him to come
over right away.

I'll do it, I'll do it
for you, honey.

A silversmith, a silversmith...

I'm not even gonna ask
you how this happened.

Thank you.

What are you doing?

What are you doing, Fred?

You can't give Johnny
Longden a trophy

all full of fingerprints.

Oh, sit down now.

Hello. Is this the silversmith?

Can you get a loving cup
off of a woman's head?

Huh?

Oh, well, she bought a new
hat, and I thought it was...

Oh, never mind how
she got it on there.

Can you come up
here and get it off?

Oh, well, now, just a minute.

Lucy, he's gonna close
his shop in a half an hour,

and he says if you
want him to take it off,

you'll have to come down there.

Go down there?

How am I gonna get there?

I'll take you.

Oh, all right.

All right. She'll be right down.

Mrs. Ricky Ricardo.

Huh?

Oh, you won't have any
trouble recognizing her.

Lucy, his shop's way
down on Bleecker Street,

so you'll have to
go right from there

to the banquet.

Oh, oh, Fred, Fred...

Yeah? Oh, ooh, Fred,

run down and hail a
taxi for us right away.

All right.

Just a minute.

Honey, a taxi will
take too much time.

The subway will be faster.

I can't go on a
subway like this.

Do you want to get to
that banquet or don't you?

Oh, all right, all right.

Fred... Is Fred gone?

Answer her!

Oh, I'm here!

Fred, Fred, would you
stay with Little Ricky.

You can finish reading
Cinderella to him.

Yeah, I'll go and get my specs.

I can hardly wait to see who
that glass slipper belongs to.

Honey, I'd better go
change my clothes, too.

I can't go on a subway
dressed like this.

Well, if I can go like this,

you certainly can go like that.

In my blue jeans?

Ethel, with a loving
cup on my head,

I hardly think anybody will
be looking at your blue jeans.

Lucy, I have never ridden
on a subway in my blue jeans,

and I'm not gonna start now.

Okay.

Oh, boy, I look terrible.

What on earth are
you trying to do now?

If I have to go from the
silversmith's to the banquet,

I want to wear my new dress.

Oh, well, let me try
to help you, honey.

Uh, get over here.

Over here, Lucy.

I'll get up on the couch

so I can... I can pull
it better from there.

Here, honey. Right here.

Turn around.

Ready, set... go!

Ahh!

Oh, Ethel!

Oh, Lucy, we can't get
it up over that loving cup.

I want to wear my new dress.

Okay, honey, we'll
take your dress along

and you can change down there.

Oh, okay.

Say... we'd better get
a big hat or something

to cover that thing
in the subway.

A big hat?

Yeah. You got one?

There might be one
in the box in the closet.

Okay, I'll look.

Right there. Stay right there.

Ethel, are people staring at me?

No, they're not paying
much attention to you.

What'd you say?

I said they're
not staring at you.

You'll have to speak up, honey.

With this hat and the cup
and the veil and everything,

I can't hear you.

I said they're
not staring at you!

Ethel, are you still there?

Yeah, I'm still here. Why?

Well, I have a feeling
you're trying to pretend

you're not with me.

I'm right here beside you.

Okay.

What are you staring at?

Haven't you ever
seen a beekeeper

on a subway before?

Smart aleck. Who was it?

Just some smart aleck.

What did he say?
He's going away.

He's going away. Did he go away?

This is Bleecker Street, honey.

Here's where we get off.

Come on.

Ethel, are we on or off?

Ethel?

Ethel!

Ooh, pardon me.

Pardon me, sir.

Very sorry, sir.

Oh, excuse...

Pardon me. Can you tell me

where the stairs are?

Well, you'd better
get off the train first.

I am off.

You're telling me.

Oh, pardon me.

Can you tell me where I am?

Yeah. You're on Earth.

Pardon me.

Where am I?

Where are you?

What are you?

What's the matter
with everybody?

Haven't you ever seen anybody

with a loving cup
on their head before.

No, I haven't,

and I've lived in
Brooklyn for 56 years.

Brooklyn? Am I in Brooklyn?

Yes, you are.

Flatbush Avenue.

Oh, dear.

Would you do a favor for me?

Would you, would you
make a telephone call for me?

There's something I
have to tell my husband.

Yes, dearie, anything you say.

Oh, thank you.

If you would call Plaza 3-2099

and ask for Ricky
Ricardo... He's my husband...

And tell him that
I have the cup,

but I put my foot in it again.

I mean, I put my head in it.

J-J-Just tell him I have
the cup and I'm on my way

and tell Johnny Longden
to hold his horses.

Hold his horses.

Oh, boy, that's funny, isn't it?

That's hilarious.

Now, maybe it's a little
hard for you to understand,

but my husband will understand.

Now, if you'll just
call Plaza 3-2099,

ask for Ricky Ricardo

and tell him Lucy's on
the way with the cup.

Oh, dear, I can't find a dime.

Just take what you need.

Thanks, lady.

Who's that?

Where's that lady
I was talking to?

Where'd everybody go?

Maybe it's a
sorority initiation.

Either that, or
she played tennis

with a sore loser.

Would a policeman
be of any help?

Oh, good grief, no.

Don't get a policeman.

You know how nosy they are.

Always asking those
foolish questions

and then instead of helping
after you've gone all...

explaining for a half an hour,

all they do is just
mess things up.

Don't get a policeman.

Thank you very...

Listen, if you could
direct me to a...

If...

Uh, yeah. Would,
would, would you get me

one of those wonderful,
kindhearted policemen?

One of those

guardians of the law

in this great city?

One of those
grand chaps that I...

Just what do, what do
you think you're doing?

Well, Officer, sir...

You see, sir...

Officer, sir...

Uh... uh...

Now, you're not
gonna believe this...

but a very funny
thing happened to me

on the way to a banquet tonight.

Now, ladies and gentlemen,

before we start our
official presentation,

I'd like you to say hello
to our guest of honor.

Of course you all know

the man that has won more races

than any other jockey
in the entire world...

Johnny Longden.

And his very lovely
and charming wife,

Mrs. Hazel Longden.

And now, as a tribute to
Johnny's great accomplishment

in the racing world,

the National Turf Association

is very proud to
present to him...

We're about to present to him...

uh...

a very lovely trophy.

Oh, wait till you see it.

It's really beautiful.

And we do have a
trophy, you know.

I saw it. I had it
in my hands once.

Well, the trophy
should be here shortly

and, uh, while we're
waiting for the trophy, uh...

I-I'll tell you a story.

I've got a wonderful
story about a turtle.

And, uh...

Oh, pardon me. Are
you Ricky Ricardo?

Yes?

Well, I got a, uh...

Well, there's a woman out there.

Claims she's your wife.

My wife?

Yeah. She's got a loving
cup stuck on her head.

That's my wife.

You have my deepest sympathy.

Thank you.

Seems to be in a little mishap.

Oh, no.

I tried to get it off.

Yes, that's all right, dear.

There, this is the trophy,
ladies and gentlemen,

right along with my wife, Lucy.

Very funny.

And now for the presentation,
ladies and gentlemen.

This is the trophy, and
I'd like you to read the...

I'd to read the
inscription to you, Johnny.

The inscription...

Uh, would you mind, dear,

if you'd just put
your head down?

Thank you very much.

Back up again.

Again.

"Presented by National
Turf Association

"to Johnny Longden,
the winningest jockey

of all time... 4,961 victories."

There you are, John.

Well, Ricky, that's,
that's a great honor,

and that's a nice cup.

I'm sure it will look good
in my... trophy... collection,

but what am I gonna
do with your wife?

Well, Johnny, that's
been my problem

for 15 years. Now it's yours.

Oh, Ricky.

Down, girl.

Can I get a shot of you
two with that trophy?

Why, sure. Hold the cup

over there, Johnny. That's it.

All right, now, a
great big smile.

All right.

Not you. Down.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you, Johnny.

"I Love Lucy"

starring Lucille Ball

and Desi Arnaz

has been presented
for your pleasure

by Instant Sanka,

the hearty coffee you can
drink as strong as you like,

it still can't upset
your nerves.

"I Love Lucy" is a
Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz

will be back next
week at this same time.

Stay tuned for December
Bride starring Spring Byington,

which follows immediately
over most of these same stations.