I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 5, Episode 6 - The Homecoming - full transcript
The Ricardos arrive home in New York where Ricky enjoys fame and adulation.
("I love Lucy" theme song playing)
ANNOUNCER: And now, I Love Lucy.
(applause)
(clamoring)
(cheering)
Look. Look...
Oh, hi!
Hi! Hi!
(clamoring)
Quiet, quiet, quiet, everybody.
On behalf of the entire neighborhood,
welcome home.
Where's your mother?
Oh, she's on her way home to
Jamestown.
Oh. Look at the baby.
He's almost as big as I am.
Well, that's the California climate,
you know.
Everything grows big around there.
(laughter)
Yeah. Look at Ethel.
Oh...
Ricky, Ricky, how does it feel to be
a big movie star?
Oh, what do you mean, a big movie
star?
Tell us all about it.
Well...
Oh, now, now, Mr. Ricardo is tired,
but I'm sure he'll tell us all about
the trip
at the party tonight.
The party?
What party?
Yes, yes, we all chipped in together
and we're going to have a...
a Ricky Ricardo block party.
Well! A block party!
Okay, we'll see you later, then, huh.
That's wonderful.
I'll see you later.
Thanks a lot, huh.
See you later.
Thanks for coming out to say hello.
See you later, huh.
Good-bye.
Well, did you have any trouble
managing the building?
Not a bit.
Collect all the rent?
Every penny.
Uh... Yeah?
We had a cold day a couple weeks ago
and I turned the furnace on.
Aw, that's all right.
An-and I-I couldn't remember how you
told me to turn it off.
You mean that furnace was on for two
weeks?
Gangway! Get out of the way!
Well, gee, isn't that nice of them
giving us a party tonight?
Yeah, it is.
A block party, imagine that.
Hey, you know, I think I'll dazzle
the whole neighborhood
and wear my Don Loper original.
What are you gonna wear?
My Gimbel's basement original.
Oh!
ETHEL: Hi. Oh, hi.
Mercy, mercy.
I haven't seen so much excitement
around here
since Lindbergh came home in '27.
(laughing)
I want to thank you very much
for cleaning our apartment, Mrs.
Trumbull.
Well, it was Oh, shucks. very nice of
you.
Glad to do it. Okay.
Here's your paper.
Oh, you started our paper again.
Thank you.
No, it wasn't ever stopped.
Oh, no.
Mother forgot.
Well, it's a good thing, too, because
I saved them all.
Now you can find out what happened in
New York
while you were gone.
Oh! Well, thanks very much.
They have papers in Hollywood, too,
you know.
Not the New York Times.
Oh, that's true, that's true.
He fell asleep while I was changing
his clothes.
Aw, poor little guy.
He was so tired.
I know.
Oh...
What's all this?
(stammering): Uh, uh, m-m-m-uh....
Mrs. Trumbull saved all the papers
for us, dear.
Wasn't that nice?
Wasn't your mother supposed to...
Yes, she was, but she didn't and Mrs.
Trumbull saved them.
Wasn't that nice, dear?
Oh... oh, yeah, yeah, very... very
nice.
Very nice, Mrs. Trumbull.
ETHEL: Well, Mrs. Trumbull, did
anything exciting happen
in the apartment house while we were
gone?
Mm...
ETHEL: Mrs. Trumbull?
Anything wrong, Mrs. Trumbull?
Oh, no, no.
You sure?
No. It's just that I've never been
this close
to a movie star before.
(chuckling): Well...
You see, I used to be a Rudolph
Valentino fan.
Now I'm a Ricky Ricardo fan.
Well, now, Mrs. Trumbull,
I am the same guy that I was before I
went to Hollywood.
Say, doesn't he have
those big shoe-button eyes, though?
Oh, he sure does.
(chuckling)
Boy, you could bake bread in here!
Well, I... I'll see you tonight at
the block party, Rudolph.
Oh, I mean, oh...
Oh, well.
ETHEL (chuckling): Isn't she cute?
LUCY: "Rudolph."
What happened to her?
The heat got her.
Two weeks in a hot building will do
it every time.
Why did she call you Rudolph?
'Cause he looks like a red-nosed
reindeer.
RICKY: No, no.
No. She thinks he's another Rudolph
Valentino.
Hey, Ethel, let's call our of friends
and have them come to the party
tonight.
I don't want them to miss this.
ETHEL: Okay.
(clamoring)
(clamoring continues)
I live here!
Sorry. Sorry.
Oh! I thought they were gonna tear
Ricky to pieces.
I didn't know he was that important.
Neither did I.
Where is he?
We must have left him out in the
hall.
(crowd clamoring)
Oh!
Oh, you poor thing!
Honey, are you all right?
What's the matter with those people?
Are they crazy or something?
No, no, they just wanted to touch you
because you're a movie star.
Yeah.
Where's your coat, honey?
Some woman just ripped it right off
my back.
(gasps)
I think Fred finally got it back from
her.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
I'll go clean up.
Here, dear.
Yeah. That's mine, honey. Thank you.
See you later, Ricky.
(crowd murmuring good-bye)
FRED: Let me in, will you?
This is Fred.
Fred can't get in.
Let me in!
Come on.
(crowd clamoring)
Anybody want a souvenir?
What's that?
Well, it's what's left of Ricky's
sport coat.
You mean they pulled it right out of
your hands?
Well, not exactly.
When I saw which way the wind was
blowing,
I capitalized on it.
What do you mean?
Well, I mean, I grabbed it and tore
it into pieces
and sold them for four bits a pop!
Why, Fred, you're kidding.
When it comes to money, he never
kids.
Yeah.
See?
Lucy, have you got any old coats
or-or stockings or shirts
or BVDs of Ricky's?
I-I can handle all the merchandise
you can give me.
No, no!
What am I talking about?
I got an old shirt of Ricky's
that I've been using for a paint rag.
Oh, Fred, honestly.
Hey, this thing could be bigger than
uranium!
(clamoring)
Oh... (sighing)
Well, isn't it wonderful
having our own little group together
again?
It's so good to have you home, Lucy.
Well, it's wonderful to see all of
you,
and I'll bet you're just dying to
hear about our trip.
(excited murmur)
Well, it was just fabulous.
Did Ricky really hobnob with the
stars?
Oh, yes, we all hobnobbed.
We hobbed with every nob that was
worth hobbing with.
It was just fabulous.
Right after we checked into our
palatial suite
at the Beverly Palms Hotel,
we all decided to go out to lunch.
So, we all trooped over to the Derby.
Oh, you probably know it as the Brown
Derby,
but us show folk who eat there all
the time,
we just call it the Derby.
So as I was saying, we wanted some
lunch,
so we went over to the Derby
and we sat in a booth.
Uh, let's see now,
you were on the outside, Fred was in
the middle,
I was on this side, and we had...
Wasn't Ricky with you?
How's that?
Wasn't Ricky with you?
No, no. As I was saying,
we'd only been there about five
minutes when who...
Where was Ricky?
Wh-What was that, dear?
Where was Ricky?
Oh, I don't know.
He was at MGM, I guess.
Oh, MGM!
(all shouting excitedly)
Meanwhile...
Meanwhile!
Meanwhile, in another part of town,
we were having lunch at the Derby
and, as I was saying,
we'd only been there about five
minutes and who...
RICKY: Hi, everybody.
Ah, here's Ricky!
(all clamoring)
How was your trip, Ricky?
RICKY: Oh, it was wonderful.
Thank you.
Is Hollywood as fabulous as they say
it is?
Oh, it's just great.
It's a wonderful place.
Ricky when does your new picture
open?
February.
That's right, February.
It's at the Radio City Music Hall
on 49th That's right. Street.
A musical, yeah.
Did you have... did you have a lot of
big love scenes in it?
Yes, he did. I'll tell you all about
it, Mrs. Trumbull.
I'll tell you all about all the love
scenes.
The funniest thing that happened is,
uh...
when I met Bill Holden, you know.
(all oohing and aahing)
Oh, I... I...
I know Bill Holden!
I know Bill Holden.
I know, I know...
(chattering)
Roy, Roy, I knew Bill Holden. I
know...
Roy, Roy, I know...
I knew Bill Holden.
(chattering)
...dropped this thing on me.
And all of a sudden, I looked around,
I said,
"Who do you think the waiter was?"
Bill Holden!
(all shouting excitedly)
We were there, too.
We have stories to tell.
Yeah, yeah.
Ricky?
ETHEL: Yeah? Ricky?
Tell them about Richard Widmark.
RICKY: Richard Widmark.
Yeah. Nobody tells it like Ricky
does.
Tell them, tell them.
No, Richard Widmark is my story.
RICKY: We had lunch Ferino's one day,
you know, and, uh...
Here, this is a Richard Widmark
grapefruit.
I got this grapefruit myself...
After that, we went over to the
house...
...out of his backyard.
RICKY: He has all these wonderful
heads and things.
It says Richard Widmark right here.
RICKY: Of course, it's all very
beautiful.
Beautiful big dogs right there.
He's really a wonderful guy, you
know.
(chattering)
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Is he awake yet?
Who?
Ricky.
We were gonna vacuum the hall, but we
don't want to bother him.
Oh, go ahead, vacuum.
No, no, no, no, we don't want to wake
him up.
Oh, we wouldn't do anything that
would disturb him.
What's the matter with you two?
I can understand those people last
night,
but why are you treating Ricky
like he was made of cake or
something?
Oh, Lucy, he doesn't belong to us
anymore.
He belongs to the world.
He's not an ordinary person.
He's a great big movie star.
Oh, movie star, phooey!
Lucy, you go wash your mouth out with
soap.
Oh, Ethel.
What's the matter with you two...?
Hi.
Good morning, Ricky.
ETHEL: Good morning, Ricky.
Allow me.
Thank you, Fred.
You're welcome.
ETHEL: Cigarette.
What's the matter with you two?
Nothing. Oh... nothing.
I got to go downtown, honey.
Good-bye, dear.
Check on some uniforms.
See you later.
Okay.
Good-bye, Ricky.
Good-bye, Fred.
I'm going to be right back, Fred.
I hope so.
Well, I'm disappointed in you.
Why? What do you mean?
Letting him walk.
Aren't you afraid he'll get the soles
of his shoes dirty?
I'm surprised you didn't pick him up
and carry him all the way downtown.
(phone ringing)
Really!
Well, it's...
Well...
It's different now.
Oh...
Yeah. different.
Hello?
Oh. Well, I'm sorry.
If you want an interview with Mr.
Ricardo,
you have to call him at the Tropi...
Oh!
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, you want to do a story about me.
Well...
Well, that's...
that's wonderful.
Well, I'd be delighted, of course.
Yes, that's, that's wonderful.
That's, that's quite all right, yes.
Thank you. Good-bye.
Well, what do you know.
Nancy Graham's coming here this
afternoon
to do a column just about me.
She's gonna call it "The Lucy Ricardo
Story."
Oh, that's great.
Yeah, it's about time somebody
realized
that I'm important, too.
(doorbell buzzing)
Mrs. Ricardo?
Yes. Won't you come in, please?
Thank you.
I'm Nancy Graham.
Oh, I know.
Won't you sit down?
Thank you.
Care for some tea?
No, thank you.
I have another interview this
afternoon,
so if you don't mind, we'll get right
down to business.
Fine. I was born Lucille McGillicuddy
in the thriving metropolis of
Jamestown, New York,
in 19...
Oh... uh...
I had a very happy childhood.
Uh, I graduated from Jamestown High
School in...
Let's say I just graduated four years
after I started.
After I left high school,
I went to New York City, and...
Don't you take notes?
Oh. Yes, I do.
Now, tell me, when did you first meet
Ricky Ricardo?
Oh, that was years later.
After I left high school,
I went to New York City...
Mrs., Mrs. Ricardo...
Mrs. Ricardo...
Yes?
When did you first meet... him?
Himmmm?
Well, I thought this was the Lucy
Ricardo story.
Oh, it is-- uh, from the time you met
him.
Well, I had a very exciting life
before I met him.
I'm sure you did, my dear, but you
are only interesting
to my readers as you reflect him.
Well, I thought you wanted to know
something about her.
Mrs. Ricardo, my dear, you obviously
don't know
what your husband really means
to every one of the 160 million
people
in the United States.
80 million of them are women,
and they would all love to be in your
shoes.
Well, I-I don't understand.
Ricky went to Hollywood and made one
picture,
came back here, and suddenly the
whole world is all...
80 million of them are women?
Yes.
And they, and they'd all like to be
in my shoes?
That's right.
And... I am one of them.
Mrs. Ricardo, my dear.
What?
You have been chosen for a very
important task in life.
I have?
Why, certainly.
It's up to you and you alone
to make Ricky Ricardo happy.
You must see that his every wish is
fulfilled,
that his every waking hour is filled
with happiness
due to your love and devotion.
Why, Ricky Ricardo is no ordinary
man.
He's something special.
Give him the attention he deserves.
Make him happy!
I will! I will!
Yours is a sacred trust.
Don't worry, I won't goof.
Now I must be going.
Well, what about your story?
I have my story, and to think that
it happened right here before my very
eyes--
the regeneration of a woman's
character.
80 million heartsick women will rest
easier
on their tear-stained pillows
when they have read my article
"Now I Am His Slave By Lucy Ricardo."
(sighing)
Good-bye.
Good-bye.
Hi.
A big crowd out in front, so Fred
snuck me through the back.
Paper here, honey?
Paper? Yes, I'll get it.
Oh, you sit down, dear.
You sit down.
Lucy, is something wrong?
Are you sure?
Everything's wonderful.
Hi!
Oh, good morning, Fred.
You got any more Ricky souvenirs for
me?
No. You picked me clean yesterday.
What smells so good?
Are you roasting another pig?
Yep. Ricky's favorite food,
and that's what Ricky's gonna get.
Mmm-hmm, that's... what you ought to
give him.
(rattling)
What are you doing, shining his
shoes?
I certainly am.
He likes to be able
to see his face in them, and so I
shine them myself.
Oh.
(whistling)
Good morning.
Oh, hi, Rick, old pal.
Morning, darling.
Good morning.
There you are, sweetheart,
and there's your orange juice.
No seeds.
All gone.
All... gone.
That's it.
Here we are.
Want to close that, Fred, please?
Sure.
Here we are, darling.
I want you to eat.
Here we are.
Here we are, sweetheart.
You gonna watch the football game on
television today?
Well, I... I'd love to, Fred,
but I have to go to Tropicana and get
some music.
Oh, now, darling, you stay right here
and watch that football game.
I'll go down and get your music for
you.
Oh, honey, Tropicana's way downtown.
Now, there's nothing I'd rather do.
Now, Lucy...
Now, not another word.
I'll go right now, darling.
I don't mind at all.
Is there anything else I can get you
while I'm downtown, dear?
No, no, nothing at all, honey.
Nothing? All right, sweetheart.
Well, I don't get it.
I don't get it at all.
Why is everybody treating me
like I was a perfect stranger-- even
you.
Have I changed?
Nope.
Then why is everybody treating me
like I was something special?
Well, I don't know about the rest of
them,
but I got a pretty good gimmick going
for me here,
and I... I don't want to louse it up.
Well, I should have known you had
some kind of an angle.
But what about her?
She shines my shoes, she answers my
fan mail,
sh-sh-she runs all my errands.
She follows me around like a, like a
little puppy.
She thinks I'm a...
She's treating me as if I was a big
movie star.
I want to be treated like a husband.
What an awful thing to say.
Now, look, Fred, I got to snap her
out of it.
You got any ideas?
Nope. Getting Ethel to stop being
nice to me
is a problem I've never had to face.
Well, you wouldn't like it any more
than I do.
Well, maybe Lucy will get tired of
it.
I hope so.
Hey, wait a minute.
Maybe I can help her get tired of it.
What do you mean?
Well, she wants to do things for me,
right?
Yeah.
I'll give her things to do.
Mm-hmm.
She thinks I'm a big movie star,
right?
Mm-hmm.
Well, I am going to become the
biggest
and most revolting movie star she has
ever seen.
Ricky, I got your music, honey!
Where are you?
Coming!
Lucy, where have you been?
I have been dying for a cigarette.
Oh, uh... I'm sorry, dear.
I... I'm sorry I took so long.
There you are.
Traffic was terrible.
Really-- an hour and a half.
Well, I'm sorry, dear.
My shoes shined?
What?
Are my shoes shined?
Oh, yes.... yes.
I'll get them, dear.
Here they are.
See?
There they are, Mm-hmm.
sweetheart.
I can't be bothered with this music
and lyrics
all mixed up together.
Type up the lyrics all by themselves,
please.
Yes, sir-- I mean, certainly, dear.
Thank you.
Right now, please.
(typing)
Lucy?
Yes, dear?
You didn't shine these shoes, did
you?
Oh, yes, I did, dear.
Why? Is something wrong?
Well, I can't see my face in it.
You can't?
Well, I saw mine.
Yeah, there I am.
See?
Is it too much to ask
that one's shoes be shined properly?
No, dear.
No.
Gladly.
Thank you.
The lyrics. Don't forget the lyrics,
please.
No.
Right now?
Yes, please, immediately.
How about the shoes, Lucy?
I'm waiting for the shoes.
Well, honey, I'm typing.
Well, you have two hands, haven't
you?
Well, yeah, that's true.
(phone ringing)
(ringing continues)
Well?
Oh.
Hello?
(talking in rhythm with typing)
Yes, this is the Ricky Ricardo
residence.
Yes, I'll hang on.
Uh, Lucy?
Yes, dear?
My cigarette ashes are about to fall
off.
Well, honey, there's a...
there's an ashtray right there.
(typing)
I don't seem to be able to reach it.
Well, neither can I.
Well, uh, what do you want me to do
with them?
I don't care what
you do with them!
And I don't care
whether your shoes are shined or not!
And I don't care about your typing!
And you can take care of your own
music!
Is that so?!
Yes, that's so! What do you think of
that?!
And I'm not gonna lift a little
finger to help you anymore!
You can answer your own phone
shine your own shoes, type your own
lyrics,
light your own cigarettes and knock
off your own ashes!
And if you want another roast pig,
you can crawl in the oven yourself,
you big ham!
Oh, yeah?
Yeah! What do you think of that?!
I think it's just great!
I don't care what you think.
You think it's just great?
Yeah! You think
I want to be treated like a star,
"dun't" you?
Well, "dun't" you?
No, I don't.
Well, then, what are you doing all
that stuff for?
I just wanted to make you mad enough
so you'd start fighting back.
(crying): Well... oh... Ricky!
That... that Nancy Graham said
that I should fulfill your every
wish.
Well, you been fulfilling my every
wish
for 15 years, sweetheart.
Oh, honey.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
ANNOUNCER: Mrs. Trumbull was played
by Elizabeth Patterson,
Nancy Graham was played by Elvia
Allman,
Marge was played by Charlotte
Lawrence,
and others in the cast were Bennett
Green,
Eva June Mayer, Barbara Pepper and
Roy Schallert.
I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same
time.
ANNOUNCER: And now, I Love Lucy.
(applause)
(clamoring)
(cheering)
Look. Look...
Oh, hi!
Hi! Hi!
(clamoring)
Quiet, quiet, quiet, everybody.
On behalf of the entire neighborhood,
welcome home.
Where's your mother?
Oh, she's on her way home to
Jamestown.
Oh. Look at the baby.
He's almost as big as I am.
Well, that's the California climate,
you know.
Everything grows big around there.
(laughter)
Yeah. Look at Ethel.
Oh...
Ricky, Ricky, how does it feel to be
a big movie star?
Oh, what do you mean, a big movie
star?
Tell us all about it.
Well...
Oh, now, now, Mr. Ricardo is tired,
but I'm sure he'll tell us all about
the trip
at the party tonight.
The party?
What party?
Yes, yes, we all chipped in together
and we're going to have a...
a Ricky Ricardo block party.
Well! A block party!
Okay, we'll see you later, then, huh.
That's wonderful.
I'll see you later.
Thanks a lot, huh.
See you later.
Thanks for coming out to say hello.
See you later, huh.
Good-bye.
Well, did you have any trouble
managing the building?
Not a bit.
Collect all the rent?
Every penny.
Uh... Yeah?
We had a cold day a couple weeks ago
and I turned the furnace on.
Aw, that's all right.
An-and I-I couldn't remember how you
told me to turn it off.
You mean that furnace was on for two
weeks?
Gangway! Get out of the way!
Well, gee, isn't that nice of them
giving us a party tonight?
Yeah, it is.
A block party, imagine that.
Hey, you know, I think I'll dazzle
the whole neighborhood
and wear my Don Loper original.
What are you gonna wear?
My Gimbel's basement original.
Oh!
ETHEL: Hi. Oh, hi.
Mercy, mercy.
I haven't seen so much excitement
around here
since Lindbergh came home in '27.
(laughing)
I want to thank you very much
for cleaning our apartment, Mrs.
Trumbull.
Well, it was Oh, shucks. very nice of
you.
Glad to do it. Okay.
Here's your paper.
Oh, you started our paper again.
Thank you.
No, it wasn't ever stopped.
Oh, no.
Mother forgot.
Well, it's a good thing, too, because
I saved them all.
Now you can find out what happened in
New York
while you were gone.
Oh! Well, thanks very much.
They have papers in Hollywood, too,
you know.
Not the New York Times.
Oh, that's true, that's true.
He fell asleep while I was changing
his clothes.
Aw, poor little guy.
He was so tired.
I know.
Oh...
What's all this?
(stammering): Uh, uh, m-m-m-uh....
Mrs. Trumbull saved all the papers
for us, dear.
Wasn't that nice?
Wasn't your mother supposed to...
Yes, she was, but she didn't and Mrs.
Trumbull saved them.
Wasn't that nice, dear?
Oh... oh, yeah, yeah, very... very
nice.
Very nice, Mrs. Trumbull.
ETHEL: Well, Mrs. Trumbull, did
anything exciting happen
in the apartment house while we were
gone?
Mm...
ETHEL: Mrs. Trumbull?
Anything wrong, Mrs. Trumbull?
Oh, no, no.
You sure?
No. It's just that I've never been
this close
to a movie star before.
(chuckling): Well...
You see, I used to be a Rudolph
Valentino fan.
Now I'm a Ricky Ricardo fan.
Well, now, Mrs. Trumbull,
I am the same guy that I was before I
went to Hollywood.
Say, doesn't he have
those big shoe-button eyes, though?
Oh, he sure does.
(chuckling)
Boy, you could bake bread in here!
Well, I... I'll see you tonight at
the block party, Rudolph.
Oh, I mean, oh...
Oh, well.
ETHEL (chuckling): Isn't she cute?
LUCY: "Rudolph."
What happened to her?
The heat got her.
Two weeks in a hot building will do
it every time.
Why did she call you Rudolph?
'Cause he looks like a red-nosed
reindeer.
RICKY: No, no.
No. She thinks he's another Rudolph
Valentino.
Hey, Ethel, let's call our of friends
and have them come to the party
tonight.
I don't want them to miss this.
ETHEL: Okay.
(clamoring)
(clamoring continues)
I live here!
Sorry. Sorry.
Oh! I thought they were gonna tear
Ricky to pieces.
I didn't know he was that important.
Neither did I.
Where is he?
We must have left him out in the
hall.
(crowd clamoring)
Oh!
Oh, you poor thing!
Honey, are you all right?
What's the matter with those people?
Are they crazy or something?
No, no, they just wanted to touch you
because you're a movie star.
Yeah.
Where's your coat, honey?
Some woman just ripped it right off
my back.
(gasps)
I think Fred finally got it back from
her.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
I'll go clean up.
Here, dear.
Yeah. That's mine, honey. Thank you.
See you later, Ricky.
(crowd murmuring good-bye)
FRED: Let me in, will you?
This is Fred.
Fred can't get in.
Let me in!
Come on.
(crowd clamoring)
Anybody want a souvenir?
What's that?
Well, it's what's left of Ricky's
sport coat.
You mean they pulled it right out of
your hands?
Well, not exactly.
When I saw which way the wind was
blowing,
I capitalized on it.
What do you mean?
Well, I mean, I grabbed it and tore
it into pieces
and sold them for four bits a pop!
Why, Fred, you're kidding.
When it comes to money, he never
kids.
Yeah.
See?
Lucy, have you got any old coats
or-or stockings or shirts
or BVDs of Ricky's?
I-I can handle all the merchandise
you can give me.
No, no!
What am I talking about?
I got an old shirt of Ricky's
that I've been using for a paint rag.
Oh, Fred, honestly.
Hey, this thing could be bigger than
uranium!
(clamoring)
Oh... (sighing)
Well, isn't it wonderful
having our own little group together
again?
It's so good to have you home, Lucy.
Well, it's wonderful to see all of
you,
and I'll bet you're just dying to
hear about our trip.
(excited murmur)
Well, it was just fabulous.
Did Ricky really hobnob with the
stars?
Oh, yes, we all hobnobbed.
We hobbed with every nob that was
worth hobbing with.
It was just fabulous.
Right after we checked into our
palatial suite
at the Beverly Palms Hotel,
we all decided to go out to lunch.
So, we all trooped over to the Derby.
Oh, you probably know it as the Brown
Derby,
but us show folk who eat there all
the time,
we just call it the Derby.
So as I was saying, we wanted some
lunch,
so we went over to the Derby
and we sat in a booth.
Uh, let's see now,
you were on the outside, Fred was in
the middle,
I was on this side, and we had...
Wasn't Ricky with you?
How's that?
Wasn't Ricky with you?
No, no. As I was saying,
we'd only been there about five
minutes when who...
Where was Ricky?
Wh-What was that, dear?
Where was Ricky?
Oh, I don't know.
He was at MGM, I guess.
Oh, MGM!
(all shouting excitedly)
Meanwhile...
Meanwhile!
Meanwhile, in another part of town,
we were having lunch at the Derby
and, as I was saying,
we'd only been there about five
minutes and who...
RICKY: Hi, everybody.
Ah, here's Ricky!
(all clamoring)
How was your trip, Ricky?
RICKY: Oh, it was wonderful.
Thank you.
Is Hollywood as fabulous as they say
it is?
Oh, it's just great.
It's a wonderful place.
Ricky when does your new picture
open?
February.
That's right, February.
It's at the Radio City Music Hall
on 49th That's right. Street.
A musical, yeah.
Did you have... did you have a lot of
big love scenes in it?
Yes, he did. I'll tell you all about
it, Mrs. Trumbull.
I'll tell you all about all the love
scenes.
The funniest thing that happened is,
uh...
when I met Bill Holden, you know.
(all oohing and aahing)
Oh, I... I...
I know Bill Holden!
I know Bill Holden.
I know, I know...
(chattering)
Roy, Roy, I knew Bill Holden. I
know...
Roy, Roy, I know...
I knew Bill Holden.
(chattering)
...dropped this thing on me.
And all of a sudden, I looked around,
I said,
"Who do you think the waiter was?"
Bill Holden!
(all shouting excitedly)
We were there, too.
We have stories to tell.
Yeah, yeah.
Ricky?
ETHEL: Yeah? Ricky?
Tell them about Richard Widmark.
RICKY: Richard Widmark.
Yeah. Nobody tells it like Ricky
does.
Tell them, tell them.
No, Richard Widmark is my story.
RICKY: We had lunch Ferino's one day,
you know, and, uh...
Here, this is a Richard Widmark
grapefruit.
I got this grapefruit myself...
After that, we went over to the
house...
...out of his backyard.
RICKY: He has all these wonderful
heads and things.
It says Richard Widmark right here.
RICKY: Of course, it's all very
beautiful.
Beautiful big dogs right there.
He's really a wonderful guy, you
know.
(chattering)
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Is he awake yet?
Who?
Ricky.
We were gonna vacuum the hall, but we
don't want to bother him.
Oh, go ahead, vacuum.
No, no, no, no, we don't want to wake
him up.
Oh, we wouldn't do anything that
would disturb him.
What's the matter with you two?
I can understand those people last
night,
but why are you treating Ricky
like he was made of cake or
something?
Oh, Lucy, he doesn't belong to us
anymore.
He belongs to the world.
He's not an ordinary person.
He's a great big movie star.
Oh, movie star, phooey!
Lucy, you go wash your mouth out with
soap.
Oh, Ethel.
What's the matter with you two...?
Hi.
Good morning, Ricky.
ETHEL: Good morning, Ricky.
Allow me.
Thank you, Fred.
You're welcome.
ETHEL: Cigarette.
What's the matter with you two?
Nothing. Oh... nothing.
I got to go downtown, honey.
Good-bye, dear.
Check on some uniforms.
See you later.
Okay.
Good-bye, Ricky.
Good-bye, Fred.
I'm going to be right back, Fred.
I hope so.
Well, I'm disappointed in you.
Why? What do you mean?
Letting him walk.
Aren't you afraid he'll get the soles
of his shoes dirty?
I'm surprised you didn't pick him up
and carry him all the way downtown.
(phone ringing)
Really!
Well, it's...
Well...
It's different now.
Oh...
Yeah. different.
Hello?
Oh. Well, I'm sorry.
If you want an interview with Mr.
Ricardo,
you have to call him at the Tropi...
Oh!
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, you want to do a story about me.
Well...
Well, that's...
that's wonderful.
Well, I'd be delighted, of course.
Yes, that's, that's wonderful.
That's, that's quite all right, yes.
Thank you. Good-bye.
Well, what do you know.
Nancy Graham's coming here this
afternoon
to do a column just about me.
She's gonna call it "The Lucy Ricardo
Story."
Oh, that's great.
Yeah, it's about time somebody
realized
that I'm important, too.
(doorbell buzzing)
Mrs. Ricardo?
Yes. Won't you come in, please?
Thank you.
I'm Nancy Graham.
Oh, I know.
Won't you sit down?
Thank you.
Care for some tea?
No, thank you.
I have another interview this
afternoon,
so if you don't mind, we'll get right
down to business.
Fine. I was born Lucille McGillicuddy
in the thriving metropolis of
Jamestown, New York,
in 19...
Oh... uh...
I had a very happy childhood.
Uh, I graduated from Jamestown High
School in...
Let's say I just graduated four years
after I started.
After I left high school,
I went to New York City, and...
Don't you take notes?
Oh. Yes, I do.
Now, tell me, when did you first meet
Ricky Ricardo?
Oh, that was years later.
After I left high school,
I went to New York City...
Mrs., Mrs. Ricardo...
Mrs. Ricardo...
Yes?
When did you first meet... him?
Himmmm?
Well, I thought this was the Lucy
Ricardo story.
Oh, it is-- uh, from the time you met
him.
Well, I had a very exciting life
before I met him.
I'm sure you did, my dear, but you
are only interesting
to my readers as you reflect him.
Well, I thought you wanted to know
something about her.
Mrs. Ricardo, my dear, you obviously
don't know
what your husband really means
to every one of the 160 million
people
in the United States.
80 million of them are women,
and they would all love to be in your
shoes.
Well, I-I don't understand.
Ricky went to Hollywood and made one
picture,
came back here, and suddenly the
whole world is all...
80 million of them are women?
Yes.
And they, and they'd all like to be
in my shoes?
That's right.
And... I am one of them.
Mrs. Ricardo, my dear.
What?
You have been chosen for a very
important task in life.
I have?
Why, certainly.
It's up to you and you alone
to make Ricky Ricardo happy.
You must see that his every wish is
fulfilled,
that his every waking hour is filled
with happiness
due to your love and devotion.
Why, Ricky Ricardo is no ordinary
man.
He's something special.
Give him the attention he deserves.
Make him happy!
I will! I will!
Yours is a sacred trust.
Don't worry, I won't goof.
Now I must be going.
Well, what about your story?
I have my story, and to think that
it happened right here before my very
eyes--
the regeneration of a woman's
character.
80 million heartsick women will rest
easier
on their tear-stained pillows
when they have read my article
"Now I Am His Slave By Lucy Ricardo."
(sighing)
Good-bye.
Good-bye.
Hi.
A big crowd out in front, so Fred
snuck me through the back.
Paper here, honey?
Paper? Yes, I'll get it.
Oh, you sit down, dear.
You sit down.
Lucy, is something wrong?
Are you sure?
Everything's wonderful.
Hi!
Oh, good morning, Fred.
You got any more Ricky souvenirs for
me?
No. You picked me clean yesterday.
What smells so good?
Are you roasting another pig?
Yep. Ricky's favorite food,
and that's what Ricky's gonna get.
Mmm-hmm, that's... what you ought to
give him.
(rattling)
What are you doing, shining his
shoes?
I certainly am.
He likes to be able
to see his face in them, and so I
shine them myself.
Oh.
(whistling)
Good morning.
Oh, hi, Rick, old pal.
Morning, darling.
Good morning.
There you are, sweetheart,
and there's your orange juice.
No seeds.
All gone.
All... gone.
That's it.
Here we are.
Want to close that, Fred, please?
Sure.
Here we are, darling.
I want you to eat.
Here we are.
Here we are, sweetheart.
You gonna watch the football game on
television today?
Well, I... I'd love to, Fred,
but I have to go to Tropicana and get
some music.
Oh, now, darling, you stay right here
and watch that football game.
I'll go down and get your music for
you.
Oh, honey, Tropicana's way downtown.
Now, there's nothing I'd rather do.
Now, Lucy...
Now, not another word.
I'll go right now, darling.
I don't mind at all.
Is there anything else I can get you
while I'm downtown, dear?
No, no, nothing at all, honey.
Nothing? All right, sweetheart.
Well, I don't get it.
I don't get it at all.
Why is everybody treating me
like I was a perfect stranger-- even
you.
Have I changed?
Nope.
Then why is everybody treating me
like I was something special?
Well, I don't know about the rest of
them,
but I got a pretty good gimmick going
for me here,
and I... I don't want to louse it up.
Well, I should have known you had
some kind of an angle.
But what about her?
She shines my shoes, she answers my
fan mail,
sh-sh-she runs all my errands.
She follows me around like a, like a
little puppy.
She thinks I'm a...
She's treating me as if I was a big
movie star.
I want to be treated like a husband.
What an awful thing to say.
Now, look, Fred, I got to snap her
out of it.
You got any ideas?
Nope. Getting Ethel to stop being
nice to me
is a problem I've never had to face.
Well, you wouldn't like it any more
than I do.
Well, maybe Lucy will get tired of
it.
I hope so.
Hey, wait a minute.
Maybe I can help her get tired of it.
What do you mean?
Well, she wants to do things for me,
right?
Yeah.
I'll give her things to do.
Mm-hmm.
She thinks I'm a big movie star,
right?
Mm-hmm.
Well, I am going to become the
biggest
and most revolting movie star she has
ever seen.
Ricky, I got your music, honey!
Where are you?
Coming!
Lucy, where have you been?
I have been dying for a cigarette.
Oh, uh... I'm sorry, dear.
I... I'm sorry I took so long.
There you are.
Traffic was terrible.
Really-- an hour and a half.
Well, I'm sorry, dear.
My shoes shined?
What?
Are my shoes shined?
Oh, yes.... yes.
I'll get them, dear.
Here they are.
See?
There they are, Mm-hmm.
sweetheart.
I can't be bothered with this music
and lyrics
all mixed up together.
Type up the lyrics all by themselves,
please.
Yes, sir-- I mean, certainly, dear.
Thank you.
Right now, please.
(typing)
Lucy?
Yes, dear?
You didn't shine these shoes, did
you?
Oh, yes, I did, dear.
Why? Is something wrong?
Well, I can't see my face in it.
You can't?
Well, I saw mine.
Yeah, there I am.
See?
Is it too much to ask
that one's shoes be shined properly?
No, dear.
No.
Gladly.
Thank you.
The lyrics. Don't forget the lyrics,
please.
No.
Right now?
Yes, please, immediately.
How about the shoes, Lucy?
I'm waiting for the shoes.
Well, honey, I'm typing.
Well, you have two hands, haven't
you?
Well, yeah, that's true.
(phone ringing)
(ringing continues)
Well?
Oh.
Hello?
(talking in rhythm with typing)
Yes, this is the Ricky Ricardo
residence.
Yes, I'll hang on.
Uh, Lucy?
Yes, dear?
My cigarette ashes are about to fall
off.
Well, honey, there's a...
there's an ashtray right there.
(typing)
I don't seem to be able to reach it.
Well, neither can I.
Well, uh, what do you want me to do
with them?
I don't care what
you do with them!
And I don't care
whether your shoes are shined or not!
And I don't care about your typing!
And you can take care of your own
music!
Is that so?!
Yes, that's so! What do you think of
that?!
And I'm not gonna lift a little
finger to help you anymore!
You can answer your own phone
shine your own shoes, type your own
lyrics,
light your own cigarettes and knock
off your own ashes!
And if you want another roast pig,
you can crawl in the oven yourself,
you big ham!
Oh, yeah?
Yeah! What do you think of that?!
I think it's just great!
I don't care what you think.
You think it's just great?
Yeah! You think
I want to be treated like a star,
"dun't" you?
Well, "dun't" you?
No, I don't.
Well, then, what are you doing all
that stuff for?
I just wanted to make you mad enough
so you'd start fighting back.
(crying): Well... oh... Ricky!
That... that Nancy Graham said
that I should fulfill your every
wish.
Well, you been fulfilling my every
wish
for 15 years, sweetheart.
Oh, honey.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
ANNOUNCER: Mrs. Trumbull was played
by Elizabeth Patterson,
Nancy Graham was played by Elvia
Allman,
Marge was played by Charlotte
Lawrence,
and others in the cast were Bennett
Green,
Eva June Mayer, Barbara Pepper and
Roy Schallert.
I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same
time.