I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 5, Episode 20 - Lucy Gets a Paris Gown - full transcript
Lucy is determined to get a new designer dress while in Paris.
(theme song ending)
ANNOUNCER: And now, "I Love Lucy."
(applause)
(knock at door)
Come in.
Band manager Mertz reporting, sir.
Hi, Fred.
Hi.
And here's your mail.
Oh, thank you very much.
You're welcome.
Hey, this'll make Lucy happy.
What is it?
An invitation
to the most famous spring fashion
show in Paris--
Jacques Marcel's.
Jacques Marcel, the big dress
designer?
Yeah. Oh, this was hard to get.
I had to pull a few strings.
I'd like to pull a string around your
neck.
Why? What's the matter?
What do you let me in for?
Do you know what that guy charges for
his clothes?
Oh-ho-ho, Fred, they just want to go
there
so they can say that they've been
there.
They don't want to buy anything; they
want to look.
"Look"? turning our wives loose in
that place
is like taking two mice on a tour
through a cheese factory.
No, Fred, I-I don't think...
Oh, now, listen.
I met a guy yesterday from St.
Petersburg, Florida,
down at the American Express office.
Yeah?
His wife went to one of those
showings.
He ended up shelling out 500 clams
for one dress!
500?!
That's just the start.
Where they finish, nobody knows.
Well, well...
Well?
I do want to make Lucy happy.
Well?
And if she goes to this place,
and she's not able to buy a dress,
Yeah?
...she will feel miserable.
Uh-huh.
So, if I don't show her this
invitation,
I will actually be sparing her all of
that misery.
Uh-huh.
I'll be doing her a favor.
You know, it's wonderful
the way you're always thinking of
Lucy.
Thank you.
Welcome back to the Husbands Union.
Thank you, Fred.
I lost my head there for a minute,
old man.
Yes, you did.
(Lucy and Ethel chattering)
Cheese it, the mice.
RICKY AND FRED: Hi, girls.
Hi, fellas.
Well, where have you been all day?
Shopping on the Champs-Elysees.
RICKY: Well, isn't that nice?
Fred, look at the bag I bought.
It only cost a thousand francs.
A thousand francs?!
Relax. That's $2.85.
Oh, I keep forgetting.
Honey, what did you buy?
Oh, a toy for Little Ricky
and perfume for Mrs. Trumbull.
That bottle must be leaking.
I smell perfume.
Oh, no, dear, that's on me.
The sales lady says that after one
good whiff of this perfume,
you'd burst into flame.
Take a whiff.
Pow-wow!
Mmm-mm.
Uh, I'm wearing some of that
potent perfume, too, Freddie.
(sniffing)
Well?
Nice try.
Oh, I could have done better
with a book of wet matches.
Oh, darn it, it isn't here.
It should have been here by now.
Wh-What's that, dear?
Our invitation to Jacques Marcel's
fashion show.
Oh, oh, the invitation.
Yeah, well, uh, you know, I forgot to
tell you
I tried to get one, but they're very
hard to get.
Only the, um... you know,
the fashion designers and the buyers,
that's all that get them.
Oh, darn it!
Oh, I really wanted to go to that.
(phone rings)
That's probably our last chance to
see a big show, too.
Maybe some other time.
Hello.
Yes, this is Mrs. Ricardo.
Oh?
Jacques Marcel's secretary?
Yes.
Oh, no, we didn't.
Well, of course, we'll be there.
Tomorrow at 2:00.
Thank you. Good-bye.
We're invited to the fashion show.
Gee, I wonder why we didn't get our
invitation.
I have a feeling we did.
Ricky, where is the invitation?
The...
the invitation?
The invitation to the fashion show,
where is it?
Honey, I don't...
By George, it did come in the mail!
How do you like that?
You lied to me.
You said this didn't come.
No, I did not.
I said they were hard to get.
It's my own fault.
He's beginning to think like me.
Promise me, you're only going there
to look.
I'm disappointed in you.
You don't trust me.
I told you,
I was only going to go there to look.
Ethel, need I say that the same goes
for you?
You need not, Diamond Jim Mertz.
What are you going to wear, honey?
My brown jacket.
I think I'll wear my gray. The one...
ETHEL: Oh!
LUCY: Did you ever see such clothes
in your life?
Oh, Lucy, weren't they dreamy?
That blue satin suit
was the most beautiful thing I've
ever seen.
Wouldn't I like to have something
like that just once.
How about that wedding dress...
Bonjour, madame.
Entrez, s'il vous plait.
Oh, thank you.
Merci.
Oh, merci.
That's hand-embroidery on that
wedding dress.
Oh, wasn't that beautiful?
Thousands and thousands of little...
There'll be four or us.
Oh, my, what dresses!
What dresses!
Gee, I can hardly wait for the fellas
to get here.
(sighing): What are you gonna have?
A Jacques Marcel dress.
Oh, Lucy.
I've just got to have one.
I'm going to get one if it's the last
thing I do.
Well, it will be.
(sighing)
Oh, here come the fellas.
LUCY: Hi.
ETHEL: Hi there.
RICKY: Did you have a good time?
Yeah, wonderful.
Ricky, it was the most beautiful
thing.
Just magnificent clothes.
The most gorgeous clothes
I've ever seen in my whole life.
Well, I'm glad you went and got a
good look
and got it out of your system.
Ricky?
No.
No what?
I'm not gonna buy you a Jacques
Marcel dress.
That is not what I was going to ask.
Honey, I know you pretty well.
You know me well enough to know
that I'm gonna pester you for that
dress
till the end of my days?
And do you know me well enough to
know
that if you do, the end might come
sooner than you expect?
You never buy me anything.
What do you mean I never buy you
anything?
How about that Don Lauper original
I bought you in Hollywood?
That Don Lauper original.
That old thing?
When I bought you that dress,
you promised me that you will never
ask me
for another expensive dress as long
as you live.
Oh, I couldn't have said a thing like
that.
You must be thinking of one of your
other wives.
Ethel, I'll leave it up to you.
Did that sound like something I'd
say?
I pass.
You see... What do you mean, you
pass?
I'd like to read something to you.
(sighs)
"February 28, 1955.
"If Ricky buys me a Don Lauper
original,
"I will never ask him for another
expensive dress
"as long as I live.
Signed, Lucy Ricardo."
Let me see that.
Obviously, a forgery.
It won't help you; I had it
photostated.
Oh...
Now, honey, why don't you be a good
girl?
You don't hear Ethel
asking Fred to buy her a new dress.
I'll be lucky if he buys me my lunch.
(Ethel shrieks)
Look, Lucy, there's one of the models
from the show.
LUCY: Oh, yes.
ETHEL: Oh!
What was that?
That's one of the outfits she wore in
the show.
She's too late for Halloween.
Yeah, and she's too early for April
Fool.
Oh, Fred, honestly.
Now, that was really a beautiful
outfit.
You just...
(shrieks)
ETHEL: Here comes another one.
Oh, isn't that hat really something?
Oh...
Did you ever see anything like that
in your life?
It was absolutely out of this world.
That explains it-- they're from Mars.
Oh, Fred, honestly.
You just don't appreciate high
fashion.
High fashion?
That looks like it was made out of a
potato sack.
ETHEL: Oh, Ricky.
Just ignore them.
Just ignore them.
(Ethel shrieks)
LUCY: Oh, this is the one I like.
I really love this one.
Ethel, did you leave our hotel room
unlocked?
No. Why?
She's got on my old flannel bathrobe.
Oh, Fred, honestly.
You two make me sick.
You just make me ill, that's all.
Oh, forget about the fashion show.
Let's have some lunch.
Yeah.
What do you want?
Nothing.
What do you mean, nothing?
I am going on a hunger strike.
Oh, no.
Until you buy me a Jacques Marcel
dress,
no food will pass my lips.
Oh, Lucy, don't you think that's
carrying...
If that's what she wants to do, it's
all right with me.
Yeah, that hungers strike's a good
idea.
Ethel, why don't you...?
Oh, shut up.
It won't last very long anyway.
You just wait and see.
Until you put a Jacques Marcel dress
on my back,
I will put not a bite in my stomach.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay!
Here we are, Rick.
What did you want?
Oh, listen, I got a plan.
I think I know how to break Lucy's
hunger strike.
Oh, good. What are you gonna do?
Well, I ordered some lunch sent up
here, see,
and we'll all gonna eat it right in
front of her.
Oh, that's a wonderful idea.
What did you order?
Ethel, we just ate.
How can you eat again?
There is no sacrifice I wouldn't make
for my friend Lucy.
What did you order?
Well, all kinds of tasty-looking
stuff, you know.
I'll bet this will weaken her.
You know, she's been on this strike
for three whole days.
I don't know how she can stand it.
Maybe she's sneaking food in on you.
No, no, no. The clerk told me that
she hasn't left the room
or had anything sent up.
Holy cats!
If this doesn't work, I don't know
what else I can do.
I do.
No.
I'm not going to buy her a Jacques
Marcel dress.
By now, it's the principle of the
thing.
And $500 is a lot of principle.
Now, will you help me?
Sure.
Okay.
Lucy!
Come out here, honey.
The Mertzes are here.
Come on, sweetheart.
Honey, I ordered some lunch for all
of us.
Not for me.
I'm staying on my hunger strike.
Ethel: Oh...
Now, honey, you got to eat something.
You can't go on like this.
No, no, I'm fine.
Oh, Lucy, no dress is worth all of
this.
Don't worry about me.
Somehow, food doesn't mean a thing to
me anymore.
Oh, food!
ETHEL: Oh, honey...
(knock at door)
Here's the lunch.
Come on, everybody, let's eat.
Sit down, Ethel.
Okay.
I had a beautiful lunch sent up.
Oh, fine.
Come right in.
Look at that.
Oh, Ricky!
RICKY: Isn't that gorgeous?
ETHEL: Isn't that wonderful?
Oh!
Oh, boy, look at that food.
Everybody, dig right in there!
RICKY: Dig right in.
Huh?
ALL: Mmm!
ETHEL: Mmm, boy!
Mmm, delicious.
Mmm-mm. Boy, that's good.
RICKY: Mm, huh, huh, huh?
Honey, look. Mmm.
Steak...
french-fried potatoes...
broccoli and hollandaise sauce.
Isn't that gorgeous, hmm?
Look at this, honey... bread.
And look at that butter--
lots of butter with the bread.
Isn't that nice?
Look, baby.
Look at this wonderful shrimp salad.
You ever seen anything so beautiful
in your life?
Hmm? Huh?
Look, look, honey, look.
Look at the French pastry.
Huh? Isn't that gorgeous?
Isn't that pretty, huh?
Doesn't it all taste and smell good?
FRED: Come on, Lucy, sit down and dig
into this.
Come on, baby. Here.
Look, look, nice piece of meat.
Look at that.
No! No!
Now, honey, you got to eat something.
No.
If you don't, I'll force it.
You can't force me.
We'll wait and see. Hmm.
Make a nice sandwich.
Look at this beautiful sandwich,
here. Here.
No.
Lucy.
(muffled grunt)
Lucy!
(muffled grunts)
Open your mouth.
(muffled grunt)
Open your mouth!
I'll make you open your mouth.
You gotta breathe some time.
You gotta open your mouth.
You're going to 'splode.
Open your mouth.
Come on, come on.
Lucy.
There.
Lucy.
Well, I don't know what else I can
do.
You can buy me that dress.
I will not!
All right, then, I'll starve.
Okay, then starve!
Come on, Fred, I got a rehearsal.
Okay.
The coast is clear.
Good! I thought they'd never leave.
Oh, so that's where you've been
keeping it. Ha-ha!
Aah-dee-dah
23... bologna
And 85... Jacques cheese.
Dee-dee-dee-dah.
Say, Ethel, we're getting a little
low on lettuce.
You'd better put it down on your
shopping list.
Okay.
Let's see now, uh... mustard.
Mustard?
Mustard, mustard
Have to have mustard on a sandwich
like this.
Doo-whoo-doo-doo.
Ha-ha!
Oh, boy. Hurry up, take a bite.
(chomping noisily)
Good, huh?
Mmm, wonderful.
Oh, Lucy, that was a regular
Academy-Award performance
you gave in front of Ricky and Fred.
You even had me believing you were
starving.
Thank you.
Now then, what do you want me
to bring you for dinner tonight?
Oh, I don't know, I'm kind of sick of
sandwiches.
I'll bet. How about a nice roast
chicken?
Hey, that sounds good.
All righty.
I'll see you later.
Okay.
Anything else?
No. I got to cut down.
If I stay on this hunger strike much
longer,
I'll be as fat as a pig.
Are you ready for your dinner?
Yes, ma'am.
I got you a nice roast chicken.
Oh, wonderful.
I would've gotten you a great big
one,
but it wouldn't fit in my camera bag.
Oh, Ethel, oh, this is a beauty!
RICKY: Come on in, Fred.
Oh, Lucy, oh! Oh!
I don't know what's gonna happen to
you
if you don't eat... Hi.
Hi.
Honey...
(weak grunt)
You win.
I couldn't stand to see you suffer
anymore,
so I bought you a Jacques Marcel
dress.
Oh, honey, how...
Oh, darling...
you've made me the happiest starving
woman in France.
Well, honey,
I think it's a great tribute to your
willpower.
Oh, thank you.
Here, you're too weak.
I'll help you out.
Oh, no, that's all right.
I'll open it.
I feel my strength coming back
already.
I can hardly wait to try it on.
Well, listen, let's go and eat
something
and then you can try it on.
Oh, no, I want to try it on first and
then we'll eat.
You do, you want to try it on first?
Yeah.
Well, all right.
Try it on. Oh, I'll take a picture of
you.
Oh, no! I'll, I'll...
On second thought, let's go eat.
Before I try it on, we'll go...
What kind of a camera is this?
It's a... It's a-a...
Well...
It looks like a roast chicken.
It's a 3D picture of a roast chicken.
See, the depth...
Looks almost real, doesn't it?
Lucy...
Hmm?
you've been sneaking food in here all
this time!
FRED: Yeah.
And I know who was mother's little
big fat helper.
Oh...
Okay, that dress is going right back.
Oh, no, it is not!
Yes, it is!
Throw it, Lucy!
I got it!
Oh, no, catch it!
Ethel!
I got it!
Oh! I got it! I got it!
Oh, no! Oh!
Open up, Fred!
No!
You... you Indian giver!
Oh, you!
Oh, that was real nice of Marcel, you
know.
He didn't really have to give me my
money back.
Well, listen, at those prices,
I could afford to be a good egg, too.
Yeah, but usually you buy something
and then you're stuck.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
MAITRE D': Bonjour, monsieur.
Comment ca va ?
Fine. Comment ca va?
Two coffees, please.
Two coffees.
Well, I can't get over that Lucy.
I'd sure like to get even with her.
Well, you just did.
That's not enough.
Oh, come, come, come now, come.
Don't be bitter.
Now, that one had to be made out of a
potato sack.
Yeah, and some of the potatoes are
still in it.
Hey, you know, Fred, that gives me an
idea.
Oh, what is it?
What do you mean?
I think I know a way how to get even
with Lucy,
and at the same time show her how
silly
this high fashion stuff is.
Well, let's hear it.
You know that-that little tailor
across the hotel?
You mean where we had the band
uniforms cleaned?
Right.
Yeah.
Now, suppose I make a deal with this
guy
to make me a...
a completely crazy dress
out of a real potato sack
and then I get a Jacques Marcel label
and put it on it.
You think that Lucy would...?
Of course she would.
Only make it two potato sacks.
For a couple of extra bucks,
I'd like to have Ethel well-dressed,
too.
Oh, wait a minute, we need hats.
Hats.
Yeah. What about hats?
What can we do with that?
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, will you?
(with falsetto): How do I look?
Simply stunning.
Thank you.
There's another one down there right
like it.
Fred, please.
Lucy wouldn't be caught dead wearing
the same bucket.
Well, I should have known. Yeah.
Hey, look.
Where?
That would make a wonderful hat.
Right across the street.
All I see over there is a horse.
That's right.
If he doesn't mind giving up his feed
bag.
Oh, honey, so you have to go home
without a Jacques Marcel dress.
You've been moping about it for two
days.
I haven't even started to mope.
I intend to mope all the way across
Europe.
I will be the mopiest, mopiest...
What's that?
Well, honey...
the other day when you called me an
Indian giver,
it got me right here.
So, I bought you a whole new outfit.
Oh, honey!
And here, Ethel, I'm no piker.
Here's an outfit for you, too.
For me?
Yeah.
From Jacques Marcel!
Fred, are you all right?
I'm fine.
Are you getting a fever?
No-no fever.
Oh, Fred!
Oh, my, I'm so glad you went on a
hunger....
Oh, Fred, I can't...
Oh, I can't...
Oh, isn't it... lovely?
I didn't see anything like this in
the show.
I didn't either.
Of course not.
These are later than the show.
These are next year's fashions.
Well, you're the only two women in
the world
who have these.
LUCY: No kidding?
We are?
RICKY: That's right, yeah.
Oh, boy!
Gee, that's unusual fabric.
Well, leave it to Jacques.
What an inspired use of burlap.
Isn't that clever of him?
Yeah.
Oh, come on, Ethel, let's try them
on.
Don't forget your hat.
Hat?! Hat?!
Are they originals?
Of course they are.
I'll meet you back here.
We'll take you for a walk afterwards.
Oh, thank you, Frederick.
You're welcome.
How do I look?
Ethel, you never looked better in
your life.
My, we're certainly attracting
attention.
Do you think maybe these outfits are
a little too extreme?
No, honey.
On you, it looks great.
Okay.
I never wore burlap before.
Honeybunch, you were made for it.
Oh, thank you, Fred.
Oh, Ethel, look, there's Jacques
Marcel.
He's staring at us.
Yes.
LUCY: I hope he thinks
we're doing the clothes justice.
(laughing)
Oh, that hat on you.
You like it?
Yes.
Oh, they really look lovely, don't
they?
You know, I think I'll go after him
and thank him for letting us scoop
the fashion world.
I think we should.
Well, duh, duh, duh,
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Why not? I think it's a very nice
gesture.
Oh, I think we should.
Yeah, I know, but...
We'll just say thank you
for letting us be a few months ahead.
I love the...
I wouldn't do it if I were you.
(Fred and Ricky laughing)
What are you laughing at?
(laughing harder)
What are you laughing at?
I don't see anything funny.
Oh, you fell for this
just like I fell for that hunger
strike.
(taunting laugh)
What? What?!
I had a little tailor made those
dresses
out of real potato sacks.
You mean, you mean, you mean, Jacques
Marcel didn't make this?
No, a little tailor made the potato
sacks.
Jacques Marcel didn't make these.
You think that's funny?
We have to leave. We have to go. I
don't think I
I borrowed that from a horse-- the
feed bag.
Oh.
RICKY: That's a big bucket.
Honestly.
They look lovely.
I think you look very cute.
(both grumbling)
I don't think that's very funny.
(laughing)
I see. Not till after 2:00.
All right, thank you very much.
They're having a private showing.
Nobody can get in there till after
2:00.
Well, don't you think you're getting
away with a thing.
We're going to the restaurant next
door,
and on the stroke of 2:00,
you are going up to Jacques Marcel's
and buy me the dress I want no matter
what it costs.
All right, all right.
All right.
And don't try to get out of your
bargain.
I won't.
And Ricky, you got to pay
for half of Ethel's dress for getting
me into this.
I told you we shouldn't have taken
these girls over there...
All right already!
I said I'd do it. Come on
I wish I never heard of Jacques
Marcel.
Well, it serves you right for
humiliating us
that way in a public place.
I never heard of anybody
doing anything quite like that in my
life.
Come on, let's go.
Sometimes I wish I never left Cuba.
FRED: Yeah.
Trente mille francs.
Oh, that was good coffee, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Lucy, look.
What?
There's Jacques Marcel and his
models.
Well, I'll be.
How do you like that?
That crook stole our stuff.
Well, girls, now we don't have to buy
you any dresses.
You have the originals.
(chortling)
What's the matter?
We burned them.
Oh, no!
(orchestra playing closing flourish)
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
ANNOUNCER: The waiter was John
Bleifer.
"I Love Lucy" is a Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same
time.
ANNOUNCER: And now, "I Love Lucy."
(applause)
(knock at door)
Come in.
Band manager Mertz reporting, sir.
Hi, Fred.
Hi.
And here's your mail.
Oh, thank you very much.
You're welcome.
Hey, this'll make Lucy happy.
What is it?
An invitation
to the most famous spring fashion
show in Paris--
Jacques Marcel's.
Jacques Marcel, the big dress
designer?
Yeah. Oh, this was hard to get.
I had to pull a few strings.
I'd like to pull a string around your
neck.
Why? What's the matter?
What do you let me in for?
Do you know what that guy charges for
his clothes?
Oh-ho-ho, Fred, they just want to go
there
so they can say that they've been
there.
They don't want to buy anything; they
want to look.
"Look"? turning our wives loose in
that place
is like taking two mice on a tour
through a cheese factory.
No, Fred, I-I don't think...
Oh, now, listen.
I met a guy yesterday from St.
Petersburg, Florida,
down at the American Express office.
Yeah?
His wife went to one of those
showings.
He ended up shelling out 500 clams
for one dress!
500?!
That's just the start.
Where they finish, nobody knows.
Well, well...
Well?
I do want to make Lucy happy.
Well?
And if she goes to this place,
and she's not able to buy a dress,
Yeah?
...she will feel miserable.
Uh-huh.
So, if I don't show her this
invitation,
I will actually be sparing her all of
that misery.
Uh-huh.
I'll be doing her a favor.
You know, it's wonderful
the way you're always thinking of
Lucy.
Thank you.
Welcome back to the Husbands Union.
Thank you, Fred.
I lost my head there for a minute,
old man.
Yes, you did.
(Lucy and Ethel chattering)
Cheese it, the mice.
RICKY AND FRED: Hi, girls.
Hi, fellas.
Well, where have you been all day?
Shopping on the Champs-Elysees.
RICKY: Well, isn't that nice?
Fred, look at the bag I bought.
It only cost a thousand francs.
A thousand francs?!
Relax. That's $2.85.
Oh, I keep forgetting.
Honey, what did you buy?
Oh, a toy for Little Ricky
and perfume for Mrs. Trumbull.
That bottle must be leaking.
I smell perfume.
Oh, no, dear, that's on me.
The sales lady says that after one
good whiff of this perfume,
you'd burst into flame.
Take a whiff.
Pow-wow!
Mmm-mm.
Uh, I'm wearing some of that
potent perfume, too, Freddie.
(sniffing)
Well?
Nice try.
Oh, I could have done better
with a book of wet matches.
Oh, darn it, it isn't here.
It should have been here by now.
Wh-What's that, dear?
Our invitation to Jacques Marcel's
fashion show.
Oh, oh, the invitation.
Yeah, well, uh, you know, I forgot to
tell you
I tried to get one, but they're very
hard to get.
Only the, um... you know,
the fashion designers and the buyers,
that's all that get them.
Oh, darn it!
Oh, I really wanted to go to that.
(phone rings)
That's probably our last chance to
see a big show, too.
Maybe some other time.
Hello.
Yes, this is Mrs. Ricardo.
Oh?
Jacques Marcel's secretary?
Yes.
Oh, no, we didn't.
Well, of course, we'll be there.
Tomorrow at 2:00.
Thank you. Good-bye.
We're invited to the fashion show.
Gee, I wonder why we didn't get our
invitation.
I have a feeling we did.
Ricky, where is the invitation?
The...
the invitation?
The invitation to the fashion show,
where is it?
Honey, I don't...
By George, it did come in the mail!
How do you like that?
You lied to me.
You said this didn't come.
No, I did not.
I said they were hard to get.
It's my own fault.
He's beginning to think like me.
Promise me, you're only going there
to look.
I'm disappointed in you.
You don't trust me.
I told you,
I was only going to go there to look.
Ethel, need I say that the same goes
for you?
You need not, Diamond Jim Mertz.
What are you going to wear, honey?
My brown jacket.
I think I'll wear my gray. The one...
ETHEL: Oh!
LUCY: Did you ever see such clothes
in your life?
Oh, Lucy, weren't they dreamy?
That blue satin suit
was the most beautiful thing I've
ever seen.
Wouldn't I like to have something
like that just once.
How about that wedding dress...
Bonjour, madame.
Entrez, s'il vous plait.
Oh, thank you.
Merci.
Oh, merci.
That's hand-embroidery on that
wedding dress.
Oh, wasn't that beautiful?
Thousands and thousands of little...
There'll be four or us.
Oh, my, what dresses!
What dresses!
Gee, I can hardly wait for the fellas
to get here.
(sighing): What are you gonna have?
A Jacques Marcel dress.
Oh, Lucy.
I've just got to have one.
I'm going to get one if it's the last
thing I do.
Well, it will be.
(sighing)
Oh, here come the fellas.
LUCY: Hi.
ETHEL: Hi there.
RICKY: Did you have a good time?
Yeah, wonderful.
Ricky, it was the most beautiful
thing.
Just magnificent clothes.
The most gorgeous clothes
I've ever seen in my whole life.
Well, I'm glad you went and got a
good look
and got it out of your system.
Ricky?
No.
No what?
I'm not gonna buy you a Jacques
Marcel dress.
That is not what I was going to ask.
Honey, I know you pretty well.
You know me well enough to know
that I'm gonna pester you for that
dress
till the end of my days?
And do you know me well enough to
know
that if you do, the end might come
sooner than you expect?
You never buy me anything.
What do you mean I never buy you
anything?
How about that Don Lauper original
I bought you in Hollywood?
That Don Lauper original.
That old thing?
When I bought you that dress,
you promised me that you will never
ask me
for another expensive dress as long
as you live.
Oh, I couldn't have said a thing like
that.
You must be thinking of one of your
other wives.
Ethel, I'll leave it up to you.
Did that sound like something I'd
say?
I pass.
You see... What do you mean, you
pass?
I'd like to read something to you.
(sighs)
"February 28, 1955.
"If Ricky buys me a Don Lauper
original,
"I will never ask him for another
expensive dress
"as long as I live.
Signed, Lucy Ricardo."
Let me see that.
Obviously, a forgery.
It won't help you; I had it
photostated.
Oh...
Now, honey, why don't you be a good
girl?
You don't hear Ethel
asking Fred to buy her a new dress.
I'll be lucky if he buys me my lunch.
(Ethel shrieks)
Look, Lucy, there's one of the models
from the show.
LUCY: Oh, yes.
ETHEL: Oh!
What was that?
That's one of the outfits she wore in
the show.
She's too late for Halloween.
Yeah, and she's too early for April
Fool.
Oh, Fred, honestly.
Now, that was really a beautiful
outfit.
You just...
(shrieks)
ETHEL: Here comes another one.
Oh, isn't that hat really something?
Oh...
Did you ever see anything like that
in your life?
It was absolutely out of this world.
That explains it-- they're from Mars.
Oh, Fred, honestly.
You just don't appreciate high
fashion.
High fashion?
That looks like it was made out of a
potato sack.
ETHEL: Oh, Ricky.
Just ignore them.
Just ignore them.
(Ethel shrieks)
LUCY: Oh, this is the one I like.
I really love this one.
Ethel, did you leave our hotel room
unlocked?
No. Why?
She's got on my old flannel bathrobe.
Oh, Fred, honestly.
You two make me sick.
You just make me ill, that's all.
Oh, forget about the fashion show.
Let's have some lunch.
Yeah.
What do you want?
Nothing.
What do you mean, nothing?
I am going on a hunger strike.
Oh, no.
Until you buy me a Jacques Marcel
dress,
no food will pass my lips.
Oh, Lucy, don't you think that's
carrying...
If that's what she wants to do, it's
all right with me.
Yeah, that hungers strike's a good
idea.
Ethel, why don't you...?
Oh, shut up.
It won't last very long anyway.
You just wait and see.
Until you put a Jacques Marcel dress
on my back,
I will put not a bite in my stomach.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay!
Here we are, Rick.
What did you want?
Oh, listen, I got a plan.
I think I know how to break Lucy's
hunger strike.
Oh, good. What are you gonna do?
Well, I ordered some lunch sent up
here, see,
and we'll all gonna eat it right in
front of her.
Oh, that's a wonderful idea.
What did you order?
Ethel, we just ate.
How can you eat again?
There is no sacrifice I wouldn't make
for my friend Lucy.
What did you order?
Well, all kinds of tasty-looking
stuff, you know.
I'll bet this will weaken her.
You know, she's been on this strike
for three whole days.
I don't know how she can stand it.
Maybe she's sneaking food in on you.
No, no, no. The clerk told me that
she hasn't left the room
or had anything sent up.
Holy cats!
If this doesn't work, I don't know
what else I can do.
I do.
No.
I'm not going to buy her a Jacques
Marcel dress.
By now, it's the principle of the
thing.
And $500 is a lot of principle.
Now, will you help me?
Sure.
Okay.
Lucy!
Come out here, honey.
The Mertzes are here.
Come on, sweetheart.
Honey, I ordered some lunch for all
of us.
Not for me.
I'm staying on my hunger strike.
Ethel: Oh...
Now, honey, you got to eat something.
You can't go on like this.
No, no, I'm fine.
Oh, Lucy, no dress is worth all of
this.
Don't worry about me.
Somehow, food doesn't mean a thing to
me anymore.
Oh, food!
ETHEL: Oh, honey...
(knock at door)
Here's the lunch.
Come on, everybody, let's eat.
Sit down, Ethel.
Okay.
I had a beautiful lunch sent up.
Oh, fine.
Come right in.
Look at that.
Oh, Ricky!
RICKY: Isn't that gorgeous?
ETHEL: Isn't that wonderful?
Oh!
Oh, boy, look at that food.
Everybody, dig right in there!
RICKY: Dig right in.
Huh?
ALL: Mmm!
ETHEL: Mmm, boy!
Mmm, delicious.
Mmm-mm. Boy, that's good.
RICKY: Mm, huh, huh, huh?
Honey, look. Mmm.
Steak...
french-fried potatoes...
broccoli and hollandaise sauce.
Isn't that gorgeous, hmm?
Look at this, honey... bread.
And look at that butter--
lots of butter with the bread.
Isn't that nice?
Look, baby.
Look at this wonderful shrimp salad.
You ever seen anything so beautiful
in your life?
Hmm? Huh?
Look, look, honey, look.
Look at the French pastry.
Huh? Isn't that gorgeous?
Isn't that pretty, huh?
Doesn't it all taste and smell good?
FRED: Come on, Lucy, sit down and dig
into this.
Come on, baby. Here.
Look, look, nice piece of meat.
Look at that.
No! No!
Now, honey, you got to eat something.
No.
If you don't, I'll force it.
You can't force me.
We'll wait and see. Hmm.
Make a nice sandwich.
Look at this beautiful sandwich,
here. Here.
No.
Lucy.
(muffled grunt)
Lucy!
(muffled grunts)
Open your mouth.
(muffled grunt)
Open your mouth!
I'll make you open your mouth.
You gotta breathe some time.
You gotta open your mouth.
You're going to 'splode.
Open your mouth.
Come on, come on.
Lucy.
There.
Lucy.
Well, I don't know what else I can
do.
You can buy me that dress.
I will not!
All right, then, I'll starve.
Okay, then starve!
Come on, Fred, I got a rehearsal.
Okay.
The coast is clear.
Good! I thought they'd never leave.
Oh, so that's where you've been
keeping it. Ha-ha!
Aah-dee-dah
23... bologna
And 85... Jacques cheese.
Dee-dee-dee-dah.
Say, Ethel, we're getting a little
low on lettuce.
You'd better put it down on your
shopping list.
Okay.
Let's see now, uh... mustard.
Mustard?
Mustard, mustard
Have to have mustard on a sandwich
like this.
Doo-whoo-doo-doo.
Ha-ha!
Oh, boy. Hurry up, take a bite.
(chomping noisily)
Good, huh?
Mmm, wonderful.
Oh, Lucy, that was a regular
Academy-Award performance
you gave in front of Ricky and Fred.
You even had me believing you were
starving.
Thank you.
Now then, what do you want me
to bring you for dinner tonight?
Oh, I don't know, I'm kind of sick of
sandwiches.
I'll bet. How about a nice roast
chicken?
Hey, that sounds good.
All righty.
I'll see you later.
Okay.
Anything else?
No. I got to cut down.
If I stay on this hunger strike much
longer,
I'll be as fat as a pig.
Are you ready for your dinner?
Yes, ma'am.
I got you a nice roast chicken.
Oh, wonderful.
I would've gotten you a great big
one,
but it wouldn't fit in my camera bag.
Oh, Ethel, oh, this is a beauty!
RICKY: Come on in, Fred.
Oh, Lucy, oh! Oh!
I don't know what's gonna happen to
you
if you don't eat... Hi.
Hi.
Honey...
(weak grunt)
You win.
I couldn't stand to see you suffer
anymore,
so I bought you a Jacques Marcel
dress.
Oh, honey, how...
Oh, darling...
you've made me the happiest starving
woman in France.
Well, honey,
I think it's a great tribute to your
willpower.
Oh, thank you.
Here, you're too weak.
I'll help you out.
Oh, no, that's all right.
I'll open it.
I feel my strength coming back
already.
I can hardly wait to try it on.
Well, listen, let's go and eat
something
and then you can try it on.
Oh, no, I want to try it on first and
then we'll eat.
You do, you want to try it on first?
Yeah.
Well, all right.
Try it on. Oh, I'll take a picture of
you.
Oh, no! I'll, I'll...
On second thought, let's go eat.
Before I try it on, we'll go...
What kind of a camera is this?
It's a... It's a-a...
Well...
It looks like a roast chicken.
It's a 3D picture of a roast chicken.
See, the depth...
Looks almost real, doesn't it?
Lucy...
Hmm?
you've been sneaking food in here all
this time!
FRED: Yeah.
And I know who was mother's little
big fat helper.
Oh...
Okay, that dress is going right back.
Oh, no, it is not!
Yes, it is!
Throw it, Lucy!
I got it!
Oh, no, catch it!
Ethel!
I got it!
Oh! I got it! I got it!
Oh, no! Oh!
Open up, Fred!
No!
You... you Indian giver!
Oh, you!
Oh, that was real nice of Marcel, you
know.
He didn't really have to give me my
money back.
Well, listen, at those prices,
I could afford to be a good egg, too.
Yeah, but usually you buy something
and then you're stuck.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
MAITRE D': Bonjour, monsieur.
Comment ca va ?
Fine. Comment ca va?
Two coffees, please.
Two coffees.
Well, I can't get over that Lucy.
I'd sure like to get even with her.
Well, you just did.
That's not enough.
Oh, come, come, come now, come.
Don't be bitter.
Now, that one had to be made out of a
potato sack.
Yeah, and some of the potatoes are
still in it.
Hey, you know, Fred, that gives me an
idea.
Oh, what is it?
What do you mean?
I think I know a way how to get even
with Lucy,
and at the same time show her how
silly
this high fashion stuff is.
Well, let's hear it.
You know that-that little tailor
across the hotel?
You mean where we had the band
uniforms cleaned?
Right.
Yeah.
Now, suppose I make a deal with this
guy
to make me a...
a completely crazy dress
out of a real potato sack
and then I get a Jacques Marcel label
and put it on it.
You think that Lucy would...?
Of course she would.
Only make it two potato sacks.
For a couple of extra bucks,
I'd like to have Ethel well-dressed,
too.
Oh, wait a minute, we need hats.
Hats.
Yeah. What about hats?
What can we do with that?
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, will you?
(with falsetto): How do I look?
Simply stunning.
Thank you.
There's another one down there right
like it.
Fred, please.
Lucy wouldn't be caught dead wearing
the same bucket.
Well, I should have known. Yeah.
Hey, look.
Where?
That would make a wonderful hat.
Right across the street.
All I see over there is a horse.
That's right.
If he doesn't mind giving up his feed
bag.
Oh, honey, so you have to go home
without a Jacques Marcel dress.
You've been moping about it for two
days.
I haven't even started to mope.
I intend to mope all the way across
Europe.
I will be the mopiest, mopiest...
What's that?
Well, honey...
the other day when you called me an
Indian giver,
it got me right here.
So, I bought you a whole new outfit.
Oh, honey!
And here, Ethel, I'm no piker.
Here's an outfit for you, too.
For me?
Yeah.
From Jacques Marcel!
Fred, are you all right?
I'm fine.
Are you getting a fever?
No-no fever.
Oh, Fred!
Oh, my, I'm so glad you went on a
hunger....
Oh, Fred, I can't...
Oh, I can't...
Oh, isn't it... lovely?
I didn't see anything like this in
the show.
I didn't either.
Of course not.
These are later than the show.
These are next year's fashions.
Well, you're the only two women in
the world
who have these.
LUCY: No kidding?
We are?
RICKY: That's right, yeah.
Oh, boy!
Gee, that's unusual fabric.
Well, leave it to Jacques.
What an inspired use of burlap.
Isn't that clever of him?
Yeah.
Oh, come on, Ethel, let's try them
on.
Don't forget your hat.
Hat?! Hat?!
Are they originals?
Of course they are.
I'll meet you back here.
We'll take you for a walk afterwards.
Oh, thank you, Frederick.
You're welcome.
How do I look?
Ethel, you never looked better in
your life.
My, we're certainly attracting
attention.
Do you think maybe these outfits are
a little too extreme?
No, honey.
On you, it looks great.
Okay.
I never wore burlap before.
Honeybunch, you were made for it.
Oh, thank you, Fred.
Oh, Ethel, look, there's Jacques
Marcel.
He's staring at us.
Yes.
LUCY: I hope he thinks
we're doing the clothes justice.
(laughing)
Oh, that hat on you.
You like it?
Yes.
Oh, they really look lovely, don't
they?
You know, I think I'll go after him
and thank him for letting us scoop
the fashion world.
I think we should.
Well, duh, duh, duh,
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Why not? I think it's a very nice
gesture.
Oh, I think we should.
Yeah, I know, but...
We'll just say thank you
for letting us be a few months ahead.
I love the...
I wouldn't do it if I were you.
(Fred and Ricky laughing)
What are you laughing at?
(laughing harder)
What are you laughing at?
I don't see anything funny.
Oh, you fell for this
just like I fell for that hunger
strike.
(taunting laugh)
What? What?!
I had a little tailor made those
dresses
out of real potato sacks.
You mean, you mean, you mean, Jacques
Marcel didn't make this?
No, a little tailor made the potato
sacks.
Jacques Marcel didn't make these.
You think that's funny?
We have to leave. We have to go. I
don't think I
I borrowed that from a horse-- the
feed bag.
Oh.
RICKY: That's a big bucket.
Honestly.
They look lovely.
I think you look very cute.
(both grumbling)
I don't think that's very funny.
(laughing)
I see. Not till after 2:00.
All right, thank you very much.
They're having a private showing.
Nobody can get in there till after
2:00.
Well, don't you think you're getting
away with a thing.
We're going to the restaurant next
door,
and on the stroke of 2:00,
you are going up to Jacques Marcel's
and buy me the dress I want no matter
what it costs.
All right, all right.
All right.
And don't try to get out of your
bargain.
I won't.
And Ricky, you got to pay
for half of Ethel's dress for getting
me into this.
I told you we shouldn't have taken
these girls over there...
All right already!
I said I'd do it. Come on
I wish I never heard of Jacques
Marcel.
Well, it serves you right for
humiliating us
that way in a public place.
I never heard of anybody
doing anything quite like that in my
life.
Come on, let's go.
Sometimes I wish I never left Cuba.
FRED: Yeah.
Trente mille francs.
Oh, that was good coffee, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Lucy, look.
What?
There's Jacques Marcel and his
models.
Well, I'll be.
How do you like that?
That crook stole our stuff.
Well, girls, now we don't have to buy
you any dresses.
You have the originals.
(chortling)
What's the matter?
We burned them.
Oh, no!
(orchestra playing closing flourish)
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
ANNOUNCER: The waiter was John
Bleifer.
"I Love Lucy" is a Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same
time.