I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 4, Episode 9 - Ricky's Contract - full transcript
Everyone's on pins and needles waiting for the results of Ricky's screen test.
Good morning, Lucy.
Hi. Hi.
I'll get the rent money.
How did you know what we wanted?
Listen, there's just one thing
that'll put a smile like that
on Fred's face.
Now, Fred, this is my big day.
I get to hold some
money for a few minutes.
Oh. That's long enough.
Any word?
Not yet.
I wonder why.
Who knows.
How's he?
Just awful.
No kidding.
Getting worse.
What are you talking, shorthand?
Pay attention.
I was asking her
if Ricky had heard
from Hollywood
about his screen test.
Oh, that's right. Any word?
Not yet. Wonder why.
Don't know.
Too bad.
Aah, you got me doing it now!
You know, that talent scout
made a big, fat mistake.
Mr. Benjamin? What did he do?
Oh, he told Ricky that
he'd hear from Hollywood
in a couple of weeks.
It's been more
than two weeks now
and Ricky's absolutely frantic.
Yeah, that wasn't so smart.
Ricky's got nothing
to worry about.
He's a cinch to
get that contract.
I wish he was as
sure of that as you are.
You'll see.
Oh, I got to go
and put this away.
See you later,
honey. Okay, dear.
Where do you think you're going?
Oh, I forgot.
What was that all about?
Oh, he's gone to put the money
in his secret hiding place.
Do you mean to tell me
he hides that money
someplace and doesn't tell you
where it is? That's right.
Why, I should think that
would drive you crazy.
It used to.
But confidentially
one day I took the
whole house apart
and finally found the
secret hiding place.
Good girl.
How long have you known?
24 years.
Ha, ha!
Gee, I'm sorry Ricky's so upset
about not hearing
from Hollywood.
Yeah, we were talking
about it last night.
He says this whole thin'
has him on pins and niddles.
Aw...
And you should see the way
he is about that telephone.
He even takes it
to bed with him.
No kidding.
Yeah.
Breakfast is ready, dear!
Lucy!
Yeah?
Oh.
I'm sorry, dear.
Hi, Ricky.
Good morning, dear.
Well, here's the morning paper.
Hello? Hello? Hello?
Honey...
The rest you'll
have to do yourself.
I'm not hungry.
Aw, come on now, you
have to eat something.
You didn't eat any
dinner last night.
I can't help... but I can't eat
until I find out
about this thin'.
Hello?
No, she's not here.
Who's not here?
You.
Who was that?!
Caroline Appleby.
No wonder I haven't
been getting any calls
for a couple of days.
Have you been telling
everybody I wasn't here?
I got to keep this line open.
How about that? I've
been cut off from the world.
Oh, hi, Ethel.
Ah, Rick, here's your mail.
Oh!
Nothing from Hollywood.
What's the matter?
Don't you trust me?
I trust you.
You'd think they'd let me know.
I've been waiting
over two weeks now.
What are you kicking about?
I've been waiting to hear
from Hollywood for 30 years!
Here's your mail, Lucy.
Oh, is there anything for...
No. He's in bad shape.
And getting worse all the time.
The poor thing's
about to explode.
Well, he just can't
go on like this.
We're gonna have to do
something to get his mind off it.
What?
Well, why don't we go in there
and just sort of
be gay, you know?
Tell him funny stories,
make him laugh.
It won't work.
It might. It's worth a try.
Come on.
All right.
Hi, Ricky.
Hi, Rick, ol' pal, what's new?
Hi, Ricky!
Uh, did I tell you
the funny thing
I heard on television
the other night?
No. What was it?
Well, this fellow was big
game hunting in Africa,
and he shot an
elephant in his pajamas
and this dumb girl said,
"Well, how in the world
did an elephant ever
get into your pajamas?"
That's kind of funny, Rick.
Please, not on an empty stomach.
Well, uh, I heard a
funny one last night, Rick.
Uh, uh... uh,
comic on television,
he was giving the weather report
and he said, uh,
"Tomorrow, muggy,
"followed by 'tueggy, ' 'weggy'
'thurggy, ' 'friggy'
and 'saggy.'"
"Saggy"!
Why, that's funny, Ricky.
You think it's out of order?
He didn't even hear you.
I heard him. "Muggy,
tueggy, saggy..."
Very funny.
Well, uh, how about this one?
Uh... there was
a fella, see, a...
a traveling salesman,
and, he, uh, he comes
up to this farmhouse...
Fred!
Well, it's the only
one I can think of.
Um... did you ever see
my imitation of a Pekinese?
A Pekinese?!
Yeah. Oh!
Want to see it? Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Isn't that funny, Rick?
You know what always
makes me feel good
when I'm down in the dumps?
What? No.
A community sing.
That's a Yeah. swell idea!
Good old community
sing, yeah. Shall we sing?
Yeah. Okay.
What do we sing?
Uh, how about "When
You're Smiling"?
Okay. Good.
♪ Oh, when you're smiling ♪
♪ When you're smiling ♪
♪ the whole world
smiles with you. ♪
Everybody sing!
♪ When you're happy ♪
♪ Oh, when you're happy ♪
♪ The sun keeps
shining through ♪
♪ And when you're crying ♪
♪ Da, da, da, da ♪
♪ And when you're smiling... ♪
Everybody sing!
♪ When you're smiling ♪
♪ Oh, when you're smiling ♪
♪ The whole world
smiles... with... you... ♪
Ricky... Ricky, why
don't you do something?
Why don't you go someplace?
Now, why don't you
go down to rehearsal?
Oh, I don't know. Yeah.
I don't want to...
Oh, look, I promise,
I'll call you the minute
I hear anything, huh?
Word of honor?
Word of honor.
Now, go on, go on, scat, scat.
Go on, Rick.
Now, be sure you call me.
Now, how can you call me
when you don't even
have the phone here?!
Are you going to
skip your number?
No, no, we'll do my number.
But it's such a bright
number and you feel so lousy.
Never mind the way I feel.
Just play the music,
I'll sing the song.
♪ Not so far from here, there's
a very lively atmosphere ♪
♪ Everybody's going
there this year ♪
♪ And there's a reason ♪
♪ The season
never closes there ♪
♪ Love and music
you'll find everywhere ♪
♪ People always having fun
down there, so come along. ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ I'm on my way to Cuba ♪
♪ That's where I'm going ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ Cuba, that's where I'll stay ♪
♪ Cuba, where wine is flowing ♪
♪ And where dark-eyed Stellas
light the fellow's panatelas ♪
♪ Cuba, where is all happy ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ Cuba, where all is gay ♪
♪ Why don't you
plan a wonderful trip ♪
♪ To Havana, hop on a ship ♪
♪ And I'll see you in C-u-b-a! ♪
♪ Why don't you
plan a wonderful trip ♪
♪ To Havana, hop on a ship ♪
♪ And I'll see you in C-u-b-a! ♪
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I'm just baby-sitting
until she gets back
from the beauty parlor.
Okay, I'll leave a
message that you called.
Good-bye.
Hello.
No, she's not home.
No, nothing's wrong, dear.
It's just that Ricky hasn't
let her use the phone
for a few days; he's
expecting an important call.
Lucy's quite a talker, you know,
especially when
she gets wound up
with one of her gabby
friends, like Caroline.
I'll leave a message
you called, Marge.
Oh, Caroline!
Oh, uh...
Well, I'll leave a message
that you called, Caroline, dear.
Ethel, aren't we ever
gonna have lunch?
It's just a little after 12:00.
But we always eat at 12:00,
and my stomach's growling.
Well, tell your stomach, lunch
is gonna be a little late today.
Did you hear that, Charlie?
Oh, now, Fred, I'm baby-sitting.
I can't leave till
Lucy gets back.
And brother, I hope it's soon.
I'm getting writer's cramp.
All those people
that Ricky hung up on
finally got through.
Look at the messages.
Isn't it a shame one of
these isn't from Hollywood?
Yeah...
Wait a minute.
Wait a ding-dong minute.
Give me that pad.
What are you gonna do?
Just watch the old mastermind.
What are you doing?
There.
"Hollywood called...
You got the job."
What do you think?
I think the old master
has lost his mind.
Don't you get it?
We'll leave it for
Lucy, she'll call Ricky,
tells him the good news,
he stops worrying,
and everything is rosy.
Especially your
nose after he hits you.
Oh...
He's gonna get the
job... He's a cinch...
And when the real news comes,
he'll thank us for saving
him all these hours of worry.
Well, supposing he
doesn't get the job?
But he will.
Well, supposing he doesn't?
Oh, well, anyway, he's
been a moving picture star
for two or three days
and that's something.
No, Fred.
Oh, Ethel...
Give me one good reason.
Well, first of all, it sounds
like one of Lucy's ideas,
and second...
Hold it. That's enough for me.
Look, why don't you go on over
and fix yourself a
couple of sandwiches.
That'll tide you
over till lunch.
You're the cook in our family.
I'm gonna wait for you.
Okay.
Hello.
Hi, Sue.
No, she isn't here.
Okay. What's your number?
Oh, just a minute.
Hi. What's that number?
Circle-seven-2099.
Wait a minute, here she is.
Oh, boy, am I glad you're back.
This phone's been
ringing off the hook.
You've got a thousand messages.
Who's this? Sue.
Oh, thanks.
I'll see you later.
I gotta go fix fatso some lunch.
Okay. Thanks, Ethel.
Hi, Sue.
Oh, yeah, I know.
Isn't it awful?
Ricky wouldn't let
me talk on the phone.
Well, he's at rehearsal now.
We got time for
a nice, long chat.
Oh, really? Tell
me all about it.
Uh-huh.
No kidding.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
Really?
Oh.
Uh-huh.
I don't believe it.
Yeah. Oh...
Oh, Sue!
Sue, you'll have
to call me back!
Ethel! Fred!
Oh, Ricky.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
Oh, how wonderful.
Oh... oh, this is wonderful.
Ricky, Hollywood called
and you got the job!
Oh, isn't it wonderful, honey?
I love you.
What, dear?
Well, who is this?
Oh. Well, well, Marco, Marco,
be sure and give him the
message as soon as he comes in.
It's very important.
Have him call me, huh?
Well, you remember
Mr. Benjamin, the talent scout?
Yeah, well, the
whole thing happened
when Mr. Benjamin
arrived here...
Honestly, of all the dumb ideas,
wanting to leave
a phony message.
All right, all right.
How about a little less
gab and a little more grub?
In the first place,
it's terribly cruel
and in the second place...
In the second place,
why don't you keep
quiet in the first place?
Okay.
Here you are.
Now, I don't trust you.
Give me that message.
I haven't got it.
Give me that message!
I want to tear it up before
someone sees it by mistake.
But I don't have
it; I gave it to you.
You didn't...
Oh, that's right...
and then I...
Oh, no!
Now, what, dear?
Oh, I must have left
it by the telephone!
Come on!
No, you go ahead.
I want to eat my lunch.
I want you to be with me.
In case she's already seen it,
then you can help me explain.
Come on.
Patience, Charlie, patience.
Yeah. Well, you be sure and
have him call me, huh, Marco?
It's very important. Bye.
Oh, boy, isn't that wonderful!
Oh! Lucy...
Oh, are you the
sly one, Ethel Mertz!
Uh...
Oh, what a sense of humor,
letting me find this
message all by myself!
Oh, honey, isn't that wonderful?
Uh... Hollywood! Hollywood!
Oh, we're gonna
have a great big house
and we're gonna
give great big parties
and we're gonna
invite lots of movie stars
and we're gonna have a
big, splashy swimming pool
and there I am, in
my mink bathing suit
up on top of the
high diving board...
Lucy, don't dive in!
Huh?
There's no water in the pool.
In fact, there's no pool.
What are you talking about?
Well... uh...
You tell her, Fred.
Ethel, what's the matter?
Uh... Fred wrote that note.
Oh, did Fred answer the phone?
No. Uh...
Lucy, there was no
call from Hollywood.
What?!
It was just an idea I had.
I thought if we
gave, uh, uh, Ricky
some kind of a phony message
that, uh, he'd stop worrying
and then when the
real message came...
Oh, no!
I told him it was a lousy idea.
I took the note and I
was gonna tear it up,
and by mistake, I left
it by the telephone.
Can you ever forgive us?
No!
Now, listen, it
could've been worse.
You might've called Ricky.
Yeah... Ricky!
Ricky!
No, you didn't!
Oh, I did. He wasn't in,
but I told Marco to
give him the message.
Oh, no.
Marco, remember what I told you
about Hollywood
a few minutes ago?
Well, listen. What?
Oh. Well, Mr. Green,
wh-where is everybody?
He did?
Oh.
Oh, no. Thanks. Thanks.
Yeah, yeah, we're
very happy about it.
Yeah, good-bye.
What happened?
Ricky's taken the whole band
over to Lindy's to celebrate.
Oh... Oh...
This is awful.
You bet it's awful!
And it's all your fault.
How could you do such a
stupid thing as write that?!
Now, don't try
to pin it onto me.
It was Ethel's fault.
She left it here.
It is not my fault.
No, Fred, it's your fault.
How could you do that?!
I didn't know what I was doing.
I was half-crazed with hunger.
Oh, Fred...
I told you it was your fault.
Oh, never mind, Ethel.
Doesn't matter
whose fault it is.
It's done.
Now, the important
thing is, which one of you
is gonna tell Ricky?
Come on, Fred, I'll fix
you some more lunch.
All right. Oh, no, you don't!
You're gonna stay right
here and face the music.
Not me.
Why not? You did it.
Okay. Tell him I did it.
First he'll have to find me.
Me, too.
Wait a minute.
How come I get
left holding the bag?
I didn't do anything.
Well, that's life.
Come on, Ethel.
All right, all right.
I'll tell him.
Really?
If you stay here and
give me moral support.
Okay.
Of course, when I tell him,
I'll be holding little Ricky.
He wouldn't hit a woman
with a baby in her arms.
Oh, that's a great idea.
I'll just say, "Ricky,
it's all a mistake, dear.
"You didn't really get
any call from Hollywood.
"Fred wrote the note and
Ethel accidentally left it here
and I innocently called you..."
Now, wait a minute. I'll
stay on one condition.
What's that?
When you come to
"Fred wrote the note",
you hand me the baby.
And then when
you get to the part,
"Ethel accidentally left it by
the phone" and you hand...
Never mind, never mind.
Just forget all about the baby.
Now, look, crazy
things like this happen.
Ricky's just gonna
have to accept it.
Now, the three of us
are gonna stay right here
and tell him exactly
what happened, okay?
All right, sit down. All right.
Now, look, there's
nothing to worry about.
We're just gonna
tell him the truth.
Just sit back and relax.
Sit back and relax!
Oh, I wonder what's keeping him.
Maybe he hopped a
plane to Hollywood?
No. Now, listen,
when he does come in,
try to act natural.
Don't, don't act as though
something terrible has happened.
Oh, no, we won't. We'll be...
Why is he ringing the bell?
Maybe it isn't Ricky.
Oh, you're right, you're right.
Hello, baby!
Well, we finally made it.
We're gonna take
Hollywood by storm.
Ha, ha, California, here I come!
How do you like it, huh?
Uh...
Isn't this the most, huh?
Yeah.
Um... Ricky?
Yes?
Uh, w-w-we three have
something to say to you.
Yes?
I, uh...
I really don't
know how to say it.
Well... I'll say it for you.
I know what you want
and the answer is yes.
You three want to
organize my first fan club.
The Ricky Ricardo
Fan Club Number One.
Yes, you may have the sharter.
How-how about that?
We got the sharter.
Well, I guess there's
only one thing to do.
What's that?
I'm gonna get my autograph book.
Oh, me, too!
Uh... uh, excuse me, star.
Where are you going?
To get my autograph book.
I left it in Indiana.
You can't leave now.
We have to tell him.
I can't tell him.
He looks just like Buddy Rogers.
Oh...
Now, listen, either we
all march in there together
and tell him the truth
or I'm gonna tell him
that you wrote the note
and that you left
it there purposely!
Now, do we march?
Forward, march!
Ricky...
Yes?
We three have some...
Excuse me.
Get back here.
Now we're going in there again
and this time you're
gonna march in front.
Now march!
Forward, march!
Pretty, eh?
Ah, this is just the beginning.
Wait till I get to Hollywood.
I'm gonna make that
Crosby look like a bum.
Ricky, I-I-I can't
stand anymore.
What-what's the matter, honey?
What can't you stand?
Uh, about that message
I left for you at the club...
Oh... yes, darling.
I-I should apologize for that.
I-I meant to call you, but...
well, I got carried away.
After I talked to Mr. Benjamin,
I took all the boys down
to Lindy's to celebrate.
Yeah, well, that's just it.
Mr. Benjamin?
You talked to Mr. Benjamin?!
Yeah. He wanted me
to ask you something.
He had only gotten the
wire 20 minutes before.
How did you know?
Well, uh...
Have you got a friend
at the telegraph office?
Good!
Yeah. Yeah!
Yeah, that's it.
I-I got a friend at
the telegraph office.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, we really did hear
from Hollywood today.
We heard from Hollywood!
We heard... Get up!
We heard from Hollywood!
We heard...
I Love Lucy is a
Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next
week at this same time.
Hi. Hi.
I'll get the rent money.
How did you know what we wanted?
Listen, there's just one thing
that'll put a smile like that
on Fred's face.
Now, Fred, this is my big day.
I get to hold some
money for a few minutes.
Oh. That's long enough.
Any word?
Not yet.
I wonder why.
Who knows.
How's he?
Just awful.
No kidding.
Getting worse.
What are you talking, shorthand?
Pay attention.
I was asking her
if Ricky had heard
from Hollywood
about his screen test.
Oh, that's right. Any word?
Not yet. Wonder why.
Don't know.
Too bad.
Aah, you got me doing it now!
You know, that talent scout
made a big, fat mistake.
Mr. Benjamin? What did he do?
Oh, he told Ricky that
he'd hear from Hollywood
in a couple of weeks.
It's been more
than two weeks now
and Ricky's absolutely frantic.
Yeah, that wasn't so smart.
Ricky's got nothing
to worry about.
He's a cinch to
get that contract.
I wish he was as
sure of that as you are.
You'll see.
Oh, I got to go
and put this away.
See you later,
honey. Okay, dear.
Where do you think you're going?
Oh, I forgot.
What was that all about?
Oh, he's gone to put the money
in his secret hiding place.
Do you mean to tell me
he hides that money
someplace and doesn't tell you
where it is? That's right.
Why, I should think that
would drive you crazy.
It used to.
But confidentially
one day I took the
whole house apart
and finally found the
secret hiding place.
Good girl.
How long have you known?
24 years.
Ha, ha!
Gee, I'm sorry Ricky's so upset
about not hearing
from Hollywood.
Yeah, we were talking
about it last night.
He says this whole thin'
has him on pins and niddles.
Aw...
And you should see the way
he is about that telephone.
He even takes it
to bed with him.
No kidding.
Yeah.
Breakfast is ready, dear!
Lucy!
Yeah?
Oh.
I'm sorry, dear.
Hi, Ricky.
Good morning, dear.
Well, here's the morning paper.
Hello? Hello? Hello?
Honey...
The rest you'll
have to do yourself.
I'm not hungry.
Aw, come on now, you
have to eat something.
You didn't eat any
dinner last night.
I can't help... but I can't eat
until I find out
about this thin'.
Hello?
No, she's not here.
Who's not here?
You.
Who was that?!
Caroline Appleby.
No wonder I haven't
been getting any calls
for a couple of days.
Have you been telling
everybody I wasn't here?
I got to keep this line open.
How about that? I've
been cut off from the world.
Oh, hi, Ethel.
Ah, Rick, here's your mail.
Oh!
Nothing from Hollywood.
What's the matter?
Don't you trust me?
I trust you.
You'd think they'd let me know.
I've been waiting
over two weeks now.
What are you kicking about?
I've been waiting to hear
from Hollywood for 30 years!
Here's your mail, Lucy.
Oh, is there anything for...
No. He's in bad shape.
And getting worse all the time.
The poor thing's
about to explode.
Well, he just can't
go on like this.
We're gonna have to do
something to get his mind off it.
What?
Well, why don't we go in there
and just sort of
be gay, you know?
Tell him funny stories,
make him laugh.
It won't work.
It might. It's worth a try.
Come on.
All right.
Hi, Ricky.
Hi, Rick, ol' pal, what's new?
Hi, Ricky!
Uh, did I tell you
the funny thing
I heard on television
the other night?
No. What was it?
Well, this fellow was big
game hunting in Africa,
and he shot an
elephant in his pajamas
and this dumb girl said,
"Well, how in the world
did an elephant ever
get into your pajamas?"
That's kind of funny, Rick.
Please, not on an empty stomach.
Well, uh, I heard a
funny one last night, Rick.
Uh, uh... uh,
comic on television,
he was giving the weather report
and he said, uh,
"Tomorrow, muggy,
"followed by 'tueggy, ' 'weggy'
'thurggy, ' 'friggy'
and 'saggy.'"
"Saggy"!
Why, that's funny, Ricky.
You think it's out of order?
He didn't even hear you.
I heard him. "Muggy,
tueggy, saggy..."
Very funny.
Well, uh, how about this one?
Uh... there was
a fella, see, a...
a traveling salesman,
and, he, uh, he comes
up to this farmhouse...
Fred!
Well, it's the only
one I can think of.
Um... did you ever see
my imitation of a Pekinese?
A Pekinese?!
Yeah. Oh!
Want to see it? Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Isn't that funny, Rick?
You know what always
makes me feel good
when I'm down in the dumps?
What? No.
A community sing.
That's a Yeah. swell idea!
Good old community
sing, yeah. Shall we sing?
Yeah. Okay.
What do we sing?
Uh, how about "When
You're Smiling"?
Okay. Good.
♪ Oh, when you're smiling ♪
♪ When you're smiling ♪
♪ the whole world
smiles with you. ♪
Everybody sing!
♪ When you're happy ♪
♪ Oh, when you're happy ♪
♪ The sun keeps
shining through ♪
♪ And when you're crying ♪
♪ Da, da, da, da ♪
♪ And when you're smiling... ♪
Everybody sing!
♪ When you're smiling ♪
♪ Oh, when you're smiling ♪
♪ The whole world
smiles... with... you... ♪
Ricky... Ricky, why
don't you do something?
Why don't you go someplace?
Now, why don't you
go down to rehearsal?
Oh, I don't know. Yeah.
I don't want to...
Oh, look, I promise,
I'll call you the minute
I hear anything, huh?
Word of honor?
Word of honor.
Now, go on, go on, scat, scat.
Go on, Rick.
Now, be sure you call me.
Now, how can you call me
when you don't even
have the phone here?!
Are you going to
skip your number?
No, no, we'll do my number.
But it's such a bright
number and you feel so lousy.
Never mind the way I feel.
Just play the music,
I'll sing the song.
♪ Not so far from here, there's
a very lively atmosphere ♪
♪ Everybody's going
there this year ♪
♪ And there's a reason ♪
♪ The season
never closes there ♪
♪ Love and music
you'll find everywhere ♪
♪ People always having fun
down there, so come along. ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ I'm on my way to Cuba ♪
♪ That's where I'm going ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ Cuba, that's where I'll stay ♪
♪ Cuba, where wine is flowing ♪
♪ And where dark-eyed Stellas
light the fellow's panatelas ♪
♪ Cuba, where is all happy ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ Cuba, where all is gay ♪
♪ Why don't you
plan a wonderful trip ♪
♪ To Havana, hop on a ship ♪
♪ And I'll see you in C-u-b-a! ♪
♪ Why don't you
plan a wonderful trip ♪
♪ To Havana, hop on a ship ♪
♪ And I'll see you in C-u-b-a! ♪
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I'm just baby-sitting
until she gets back
from the beauty parlor.
Okay, I'll leave a
message that you called.
Good-bye.
Hello.
No, she's not home.
No, nothing's wrong, dear.
It's just that Ricky hasn't
let her use the phone
for a few days; he's
expecting an important call.
Lucy's quite a talker, you know,
especially when
she gets wound up
with one of her gabby
friends, like Caroline.
I'll leave a message
you called, Marge.
Oh, Caroline!
Oh, uh...
Well, I'll leave a message
that you called, Caroline, dear.
Ethel, aren't we ever
gonna have lunch?
It's just a little after 12:00.
But we always eat at 12:00,
and my stomach's growling.
Well, tell your stomach, lunch
is gonna be a little late today.
Did you hear that, Charlie?
Oh, now, Fred, I'm baby-sitting.
I can't leave till
Lucy gets back.
And brother, I hope it's soon.
I'm getting writer's cramp.
All those people
that Ricky hung up on
finally got through.
Look at the messages.
Isn't it a shame one of
these isn't from Hollywood?
Yeah...
Wait a minute.
Wait a ding-dong minute.
Give me that pad.
What are you gonna do?
Just watch the old mastermind.
What are you doing?
There.
"Hollywood called...
You got the job."
What do you think?
I think the old master
has lost his mind.
Don't you get it?
We'll leave it for
Lucy, she'll call Ricky,
tells him the good news,
he stops worrying,
and everything is rosy.
Especially your
nose after he hits you.
Oh...
He's gonna get the
job... He's a cinch...
And when the real news comes,
he'll thank us for saving
him all these hours of worry.
Well, supposing he
doesn't get the job?
But he will.
Well, supposing he doesn't?
Oh, well, anyway, he's
been a moving picture star
for two or three days
and that's something.
No, Fred.
Oh, Ethel...
Give me one good reason.
Well, first of all, it sounds
like one of Lucy's ideas,
and second...
Hold it. That's enough for me.
Look, why don't you go on over
and fix yourself a
couple of sandwiches.
That'll tide you
over till lunch.
You're the cook in our family.
I'm gonna wait for you.
Okay.
Hello.
Hi, Sue.
No, she isn't here.
Okay. What's your number?
Oh, just a minute.
Hi. What's that number?
Circle-seven-2099.
Wait a minute, here she is.
Oh, boy, am I glad you're back.
This phone's been
ringing off the hook.
You've got a thousand messages.
Who's this? Sue.
Oh, thanks.
I'll see you later.
I gotta go fix fatso some lunch.
Okay. Thanks, Ethel.
Hi, Sue.
Oh, yeah, I know.
Isn't it awful?
Ricky wouldn't let
me talk on the phone.
Well, he's at rehearsal now.
We got time for
a nice, long chat.
Oh, really? Tell
me all about it.
Uh-huh.
No kidding.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
Really?
Oh.
Uh-huh.
I don't believe it.
Yeah. Oh...
Oh, Sue!
Sue, you'll have
to call me back!
Ethel! Fred!
Oh, Ricky.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
Oh, how wonderful.
Oh... oh, this is wonderful.
Ricky, Hollywood called
and you got the job!
Oh, isn't it wonderful, honey?
I love you.
What, dear?
Well, who is this?
Oh. Well, well, Marco, Marco,
be sure and give him the
message as soon as he comes in.
It's very important.
Have him call me, huh?
Well, you remember
Mr. Benjamin, the talent scout?
Yeah, well, the
whole thing happened
when Mr. Benjamin
arrived here...
Honestly, of all the dumb ideas,
wanting to leave
a phony message.
All right, all right.
How about a little less
gab and a little more grub?
In the first place,
it's terribly cruel
and in the second place...
In the second place,
why don't you keep
quiet in the first place?
Okay.
Here you are.
Now, I don't trust you.
Give me that message.
I haven't got it.
Give me that message!
I want to tear it up before
someone sees it by mistake.
But I don't have
it; I gave it to you.
You didn't...
Oh, that's right...
and then I...
Oh, no!
Now, what, dear?
Oh, I must have left
it by the telephone!
Come on!
No, you go ahead.
I want to eat my lunch.
I want you to be with me.
In case she's already seen it,
then you can help me explain.
Come on.
Patience, Charlie, patience.
Yeah. Well, you be sure and
have him call me, huh, Marco?
It's very important. Bye.
Oh, boy, isn't that wonderful!
Oh! Lucy...
Oh, are you the
sly one, Ethel Mertz!
Uh...
Oh, what a sense of humor,
letting me find this
message all by myself!
Oh, honey, isn't that wonderful?
Uh... Hollywood! Hollywood!
Oh, we're gonna
have a great big house
and we're gonna
give great big parties
and we're gonna
invite lots of movie stars
and we're gonna have a
big, splashy swimming pool
and there I am, in
my mink bathing suit
up on top of the
high diving board...
Lucy, don't dive in!
Huh?
There's no water in the pool.
In fact, there's no pool.
What are you talking about?
Well... uh...
You tell her, Fred.
Ethel, what's the matter?
Uh... Fred wrote that note.
Oh, did Fred answer the phone?
No. Uh...
Lucy, there was no
call from Hollywood.
What?!
It was just an idea I had.
I thought if we
gave, uh, uh, Ricky
some kind of a phony message
that, uh, he'd stop worrying
and then when the
real message came...
Oh, no!
I told him it was a lousy idea.
I took the note and I
was gonna tear it up,
and by mistake, I left
it by the telephone.
Can you ever forgive us?
No!
Now, listen, it
could've been worse.
You might've called Ricky.
Yeah... Ricky!
Ricky!
No, you didn't!
Oh, I did. He wasn't in,
but I told Marco to
give him the message.
Oh, no.
Marco, remember what I told you
about Hollywood
a few minutes ago?
Well, listen. What?
Oh. Well, Mr. Green,
wh-where is everybody?
He did?
Oh.
Oh, no. Thanks. Thanks.
Yeah, yeah, we're
very happy about it.
Yeah, good-bye.
What happened?
Ricky's taken the whole band
over to Lindy's to celebrate.
Oh... Oh...
This is awful.
You bet it's awful!
And it's all your fault.
How could you do such a
stupid thing as write that?!
Now, don't try
to pin it onto me.
It was Ethel's fault.
She left it here.
It is not my fault.
No, Fred, it's your fault.
How could you do that?!
I didn't know what I was doing.
I was half-crazed with hunger.
Oh, Fred...
I told you it was your fault.
Oh, never mind, Ethel.
Doesn't matter
whose fault it is.
It's done.
Now, the important
thing is, which one of you
is gonna tell Ricky?
Come on, Fred, I'll fix
you some more lunch.
All right. Oh, no, you don't!
You're gonna stay right
here and face the music.
Not me.
Why not? You did it.
Okay. Tell him I did it.
First he'll have to find me.
Me, too.
Wait a minute.
How come I get
left holding the bag?
I didn't do anything.
Well, that's life.
Come on, Ethel.
All right, all right.
I'll tell him.
Really?
If you stay here and
give me moral support.
Okay.
Of course, when I tell him,
I'll be holding little Ricky.
He wouldn't hit a woman
with a baby in her arms.
Oh, that's a great idea.
I'll just say, "Ricky,
it's all a mistake, dear.
"You didn't really get
any call from Hollywood.
"Fred wrote the note and
Ethel accidentally left it here
and I innocently called you..."
Now, wait a minute. I'll
stay on one condition.
What's that?
When you come to
"Fred wrote the note",
you hand me the baby.
And then when
you get to the part,
"Ethel accidentally left it by
the phone" and you hand...
Never mind, never mind.
Just forget all about the baby.
Now, look, crazy
things like this happen.
Ricky's just gonna
have to accept it.
Now, the three of us
are gonna stay right here
and tell him exactly
what happened, okay?
All right, sit down. All right.
Now, look, there's
nothing to worry about.
We're just gonna
tell him the truth.
Just sit back and relax.
Sit back and relax!
Oh, I wonder what's keeping him.
Maybe he hopped a
plane to Hollywood?
No. Now, listen,
when he does come in,
try to act natural.
Don't, don't act as though
something terrible has happened.
Oh, no, we won't. We'll be...
Why is he ringing the bell?
Maybe it isn't Ricky.
Oh, you're right, you're right.
Hello, baby!
Well, we finally made it.
We're gonna take
Hollywood by storm.
Ha, ha, California, here I come!
How do you like it, huh?
Uh...
Isn't this the most, huh?
Yeah.
Um... Ricky?
Yes?
Uh, w-w-we three have
something to say to you.
Yes?
I, uh...
I really don't
know how to say it.
Well... I'll say it for you.
I know what you want
and the answer is yes.
You three want to
organize my first fan club.
The Ricky Ricardo
Fan Club Number One.
Yes, you may have the sharter.
How-how about that?
We got the sharter.
Well, I guess there's
only one thing to do.
What's that?
I'm gonna get my autograph book.
Oh, me, too!
Uh... uh, excuse me, star.
Where are you going?
To get my autograph book.
I left it in Indiana.
You can't leave now.
We have to tell him.
I can't tell him.
He looks just like Buddy Rogers.
Oh...
Now, listen, either we
all march in there together
and tell him the truth
or I'm gonna tell him
that you wrote the note
and that you left
it there purposely!
Now, do we march?
Forward, march!
Ricky...
Yes?
We three have some...
Excuse me.
Get back here.
Now we're going in there again
and this time you're
gonna march in front.
Now march!
Forward, march!
Pretty, eh?
Ah, this is just the beginning.
Wait till I get to Hollywood.
I'm gonna make that
Crosby look like a bum.
Ricky, I-I-I can't
stand anymore.
What-what's the matter, honey?
What can't you stand?
Uh, about that message
I left for you at the club...
Oh... yes, darling.
I-I should apologize for that.
I-I meant to call you, but...
well, I got carried away.
After I talked to Mr. Benjamin,
I took all the boys down
to Lindy's to celebrate.
Yeah, well, that's just it.
Mr. Benjamin?
You talked to Mr. Benjamin?!
Yeah. He wanted me
to ask you something.
He had only gotten the
wire 20 minutes before.
How did you know?
Well, uh...
Have you got a friend
at the telegraph office?
Good!
Yeah. Yeah!
Yeah, that's it.
I-I got a friend at
the telegraph office.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, we really did hear
from Hollywood today.
We heard from Hollywood!
We heard... Get up!
We heard from Hollywood!
We heard...
I Love Lucy is a
Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next
week at this same time.