I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 4, Episode 28 - Lucy and Harpo Marx - full transcript
The gang meets Harpo Marx and Lucy does the famous 'mirror' routine with him.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know all about
it,
but there is nothing that I can do.
Oh, Ricky, you don't understand what
this means to me.
I understand perfectly.
You do not or you couldn't just stand
there
and see me suffer like this.
If Caroline Appleby comes here this
afternoon
and I don't have some movie stars
here to meet her, my name is mud.
Well, it's all your fault.
You wrote her all those letters,
telling here that you were hobnobbing
with movie stars.
Now she's in town and you can't
produce them.
So why did you have to write all
those bragging letters?
It was perfectly legitimate.
It made my letters more interesting,
more readable.
The awful thing is, Caroline sneaking
into town like this.
Sneaking into town?
She's on her way to Hawaii.
Yeah, well, she planned this whole
trip just to show me up.
Well, I'm sorry.
You're always telling people stories
that are not true.
I'm going to the pool.
Just a minute.
Yes?
Ricky, I'm not asking for much.
All I want is a half a dozen movie
stars
for a couple of hours.
Now, if you can't do this simple
little thing for me, I'll...
I'll kill myself.
Kill yourself?
Yes.
Well, you got a lovely day for it.
Oh!
Hi. I just saw Ricky leave.
Any luck?
No.
How would Harpo Marx be?
Wonderful! Get him!
Wait a minute. I didn't say I could
get him.
Oh, fine.
Now, he's appearing at a luncheon
here today
at the hotel, and maybe we could get
him to drop by.
Oh, sure, maybe we could get Princess
Margaret
to fly over for tea.
You never know unless you ask.
Well, all right.
You run and ask Harpo, I'll call
Princess Margaret.
Okay.
Oh...
It just doesn't make sense, Ethel.
Why should he want to do us a favor?
He doesn't even know us.
I guess you're right.
Well, all we can hope is that
Caroline loses her glasses again
and can't find the hotel.
Hey, wait a minute!
What?
Caroline can't see a foot in front of
her face
without her glasses, can she?
No.
What if we could get her glasses away
from her?
And?
What are you doing?
I was just trying to see if I was
real nearsighted,
if maybe you couldn't pass for
Marilyn Monroe.
Yeah?
Yeah. Pull your hair down over one
eye.
Now walk like Marilyn.
Oh, no, nobody's that nearsighted.
Thanks a lot.
Hey, that magic shop up on the
boulevard
sells masks that look like movie
stars.
Maybe if you wore a mask...
I am not wearing any hot rubber mask
all afternoon.
All right, then I will.
Oh, you can't get away with wearing a
mask.
I could if I got her glasses off her.
And how are you gonna do that?
Well, let's see, uh...
When Caroline comes in, uh...
(chuckling): Oh, hi, Caroline.
Oh... I'm terribly sorry.
Or, uh...
Oh, Lucy, why don't you just shoot
her
when she walks through the door?
Then you won't have to bother about
getting the masks.
Well, come on, we'll go get the masks
right away.
We can figure out how to get her
glasses off later, huh?
Oh...
Hi. Caroline isn't here yet, huh?
No.
Listen, you didn't lock your door,
did you?
No. I got the door all open
and I got your mother to take the
baby
to the zoo for the afternoon
and I got your costumes all laid out
on the bed
just waiting for you to get in 'em.
Okay. Now, the important thing for
you to remember
is that you have to keep Caroline
real busy
while I'm changing from one outfit to
the other.
I know.
Now, let's see.
When I got the Harpo Marx outfit on,
I don't have to talk,
so I don't have to worry about that.
Now, when I've got the other...
(doorbell buzzing)
There she is.
Well...
Hi, Lucy, how are ya?
Hi, Ethel!
Any stars here yet?
Oh, no, not yet, dear.
Oh, I can just hardly wait.
Who do you suppose will come by?
Well, like I told you--
Clark, Bing and Gary will be here
and, uh, Ronnie and Bonita will...
Oh, no. No, Ronnie and Bonita were
here last week.
They probably won't drop in again
this week.
Oh.
Uh, but Harpo Marx is staying in the
hotel.
He said he might come up.
Oh, he's one of my favorite funny
men.
Well, good, and you never can tell
who else might drop in.
Caroline, your glasses are all
smudged.
I want you to be able to see the
movie stars real good.
You'd better let me clean them for
you. What's that?
Isn't that a wonderful idea?
I bought it when I lost my glasses.
That will never happen to me again.
No, these are clear.
I can see real good.
Oh, chocolates, mmm.
Caroline, dear...
Yeah.
Uh, just how bad are your eyes
without your glasses?
(chuckling): Oh, are you kidding,
Lucy?
I can't see a thing.
Oh, come now.
No, really, I can't.
Oh, I don't believe that.
Well...
Well, take them off.
Let me test you.
Well, all right, but you'll see.
I just can't see a thing.
Oh, I don't believe it.
What does that say?
Uh...
oh, I can't see that.
Yeah, well, try.
Come on, try.
Uh... well...
No, I can't make that out.
Oh, my...
Oh, you're really blind, girl.
I told you, oh, it's awful.
Why, that I don't believe, for
heaven's sake.
You know, I heard people say
that they couldn't see without their
glasses...
...letters this high, you know.
What's the matter, dear, lose
something?
Well, my glasses-- th-they're gone.
Why, they couldn't be.
They're hanging right around your...
Well, for heaven's sake, they are
gone.
Oh...
Now, they couldn't have just
disappeared.
ETHEL: Oh, they must be here
someplace.
Ah, you kids look for the glasses.
I got a lot to do before the gang
gets here.
I got to go next door and borrow some
sugar.
Borrow sugar?
In a hotel?
Oh, well, we're just all one big
happy family here.
Oh.
I just don't understand it.
They, they couldn't have simply
disappeared into thin air.
Oh, I'm so sorry, honey.
(sighing)
(doorbell buzzing)
(gasping): Ethel, you suppose that's
a movie star?
I have a feeling it might be.
Come in.
Why, Gary.
Who is it? Who is it?
It's Gary Cooper.
Oh!
ETHEL: Hi, Gary.
Howdy.
I want you to meet a friend of mine,
Caroline Appleby.
Oh, how do you do?
Howdy, ma'am.
Uh, can you stay awhile?
Nope.
You have to go?
Yep.
Right away?
Yep.
Oh, well, it was just awfully nice
meeting you, Mr. Cooper.
Yep.
Thanks for dropping by, Gary.
Yep.
Thanks a lot.
Yep.
Come again.
Yep.
Oh!
Oh, Coop's a doll.
Too bad he couldn't stay.
You'd have loved him.
Gee, he looked so handsome, too.
From what I could see.
Gee, Gary Cooper.
Oh, Ethel, where are those glasses?
We met a lot of stars since we came
to Hollywood.
You did?
(doorbell buzzing)
Here's another one.
Come in.
Why, Clark!
Who? Who?
It's Clark Gable.
Oh!
ETHEL: Uh, Clark, can you stay for a
little while?
Aw, you got a cold?
Got a little laryngitis, baby.
That's too bad.
But I want you to meet a friend of
mine, Caroline Appleby.
How do you do?
Uh, bup-bup.
You'll catch his cold.
Well, who cares?
Imagine me being able to tell the
girls back home
that I caught a cold from Clark
Gable!
Honey, I'm not going to let you catch
a cold...
Now, Ethel, I want to meet...
Now look what you did, you scared
him.
Well, I'm sorry.
I... I guess I was awfully rude,
but I just couldn't help myself.
Weren't you excited?
Yeah.
Clark Gable...
Hi. Ha, ha!
Lucy, where have you been?
Do you know that Clark Gable and Gary
Cooper have been here?
Yeah, I saw them down the hall,
and they both thought you were
terribly attractive.
Ha, ha!
Oh, really?
Yeah. Clark said he'd never forgive
himself
for having that terrible cold.
Oh!
He thought you were a doll.
(laughing giddily)
I'll be back.
Hi, Rick. Swell day, huh?
Oh, hi, Fred.
You know, Fred, I'm beginning to feel
like a heel.
What about?
Well, you know, the way I acted with
Lucy today.
I could have got a couple of actors
to come over there and visit.
Caroline would have been happy,
Lucy would have been happy,
and everything would have been all
right.
I know she exaggerates,
and she shouldn't tell all those
stories,
but, uh... she has a good side to
her.
Don't you think so, Fred?
Huh?
Come on, you haven't listened to a
word I said.
I was telling you the way that I felt
about Lucy...
(women screaming)
(Harpo whistling)
Harpo!
Harpo Marx!
Yeah, Babalu, Ricky, yeah.
(laughing)
Babalu, yeah.
Oh, this is Fred Mertz, Harpo.
Couple of cute chicks you were
chasing.
(wolf whistle)
(slow wolf whistle)
Say, what are you doing in costume?
(whistles)
A woman? Hit?
Oh, wom-wom-wom...
a lot of women?
Lots of women, yeah.
Women, women, women.
Struck 'em? Women?
Hit? Strike?
(whistling)
Club!
Club.
(whistles)
Women's club.
(whistling)
Oh.
(whistling)
Wh-Wh-What about, what about a
women's club?
(whistling)
You broke into the women's club?
Oh, ben-ben- ben-bend, bend.
Bend.
(whistles)
Joint?
(shrill whistle)
(whistling)
Uh, bend?
Knee.
Knee!
Knee, knee, knee, yeah, yeah.
(whistling)
Dogs?
(whistling)
Feet, feet, feet!
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, fit.
(muffled): Ben, knee, fit.
Oh, benefit!
Benefit! Oh, yeah!
(whistling)
The women's club benefit.
You're playing at the women's club
benefit.
Oh. What time are you going to play?
(whistles)
Turn, over.
Oh, it's over.
You already played there.
Oh, geez, isn't that too bad?
The girls love it.
The girls would have loved to see it.
Hey, would you do me a favor? Huh?
(laughing): No.
No, I don't need any money.
No.
Let me tell you what it is.
Lucy has a girlfriend of hers
here from New York, see?
And this girl is just dying to meet a
big movie star.
Big star like you.
Yeah! That's right.
So, listen, Harpo.
Would you do me a favor and-and go up
to Room 315
and pay them a visit?
(shrill whistle)
Thank you!
Oh, Ethel... Ethel, this has been the
most thrilling day.
Imagine meeting Bing Crosby, and
Walter Pidgeon
and Clark Gable and Gary Cooper all
in the same day!
Do you think anyone else will drop
by?
Oh, I have a feeling someone will.
(doorbell buzzing)
There's one now.
Come in.
Hiya, folks.
Jimmy Durante!
In person.
Jimmy, I want you to meet a friend of
mine and Lucy's,
Caroline Appleby.
Oh, how do you do?
Pleased to meet you.
Excuse me for staring, but I lost my
glasses.
What a "catastrastrope"!
Oh, Jimmy! Will you stay and have a
cup of tea?
No, thanks, I got an appointment.
Oh, that's too bad.
Well, toodle-oo.
And to you, too.
Oh, it's just been a pleasure meeting
you, Mr. Durante.
Good night, Mrs. Appleby,
whoever you are.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, thanks a lot!
Come back again.
Oh, Ethel, Ethel, this has been such
fun.
I wouldn't have missed this for the
world.
Well, it is kind of fun meeting the
movie stars
and palling around with celebrities.
(doorbell buzzing)
(gasps)
That must be another one.
Oh, uh...
I doubt it, so soon.
Why?
Uh, why?
Uh, well, uh, uh, movie stars usually
space themselves
farther apart than this.
But I'll see.
That was fast.
Uh, Harpo, I want you to meet my
friend, Caroline Appleby.
Harpo Marx, how do you do?
Oh!
(laughing)
Don't overdo it.
(laughing)
You know, Harpo, I've seen you chase
girls in movies,
but you don't really do that, do you?
(screaming and laughing)
(whistling)
(laughing uncontrollably)
Did you bring your harp?
No, he didn't.
(whistling)
You did?
(whistling)
You brought your harp?
(whistling)
That man is just a scream.
I laughed so hard, I cried.
Oh, I've got to fix my mascara.
I'll fix my face before he gets back.
Yeah, fix your face.
(doorbell buzzing)
Where's your harp?
Huh? Where's Caroline?
She's in there.
Lucy?
What?
Weren't you just here as Harpo?
No.
You weren't?
No.
Then that Harpo really was Harpo!
What are you talking about?
The real Harpo Marx was just here.
What would he be doing up here?
I don't know, but he said he was
going to go get his harp.
(doorbell buzzing)
There he is!
Go hide.
Not in there.
Caroline's in there.
Hide in the kitchen.
In the kitchen.
(whistling)
What?
(whistling)
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
Well, this is a real treat.
Sit down. He's gonna really play the
harp for us.
What are you gonna play?
(whistles "Take Me Out To The Ball
Game")
"Take Me Out To The Ball Game." Oh!
(playing ornate, highly stylized
version of "Take Me Out To The Ball
Game")
(ornate, highly stylized version of
"Take Me Out To The Ball Game"
continuing)
(ornate, highly stylized version of
"Take Me Out To The Ball Game"
continuing)
(ornate, highly stylized version of
"Take Me Out To The Ball Game"
continuing)
Oh, Harpo!
Oh, my, that was wonderful.
Oh!
(murmuring)
Oh!
Oh, I can't believe I was...
CAROLINE: Oh, wonderful!
ETHEL: That was such a thrill, Harpo.
Oh!
Oh, Harpo, thank you so much.
Oh, thank you, thank you, tha...
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, my goodness.
It's getting late.
I've got a plane to catch.
Oh, yeah.
Well, it was awfully nice seeing you,
Harpo.
And thanks so much, Ethel, for
every...
Oh!
I'll see you to the elevator.
Yes, and be sure and thank Lucy
for...
It was just wonderful.
Good-bye.
Oh, Ethel!
Oh, Caroline, here are your glasses.
My glasses, oh!
They were there on the floor all the
time.
Oh, thank you! Aloha!
Can I help you?
Oh, yeah, good-bye!
Bye!
Oh, no!
(whistling)
(whistling)
Oh, no!
(horns honk four times in unison)
Harpo!
Oh!
Oh, Harpo, who told you to come up
here?
Babalu. Ricky! Oh!
And Fred.
Oh.
ETHEL: Really?
(Lucy laughing)
(whistling)
You characters are too late.
What do you mean? What's the matter?
What happened?
Caroline's already gone.
Oh.
Which one of you two is Harpo?
(Ricky guffawing)
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
ANNOUNCER: Caroline Appleby was
played by Doris Singleton
and Harpo Marx portrayed himself.
I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same
time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know all about
it,
but there is nothing that I can do.
Oh, Ricky, you don't understand what
this means to me.
I understand perfectly.
You do not or you couldn't just stand
there
and see me suffer like this.
If Caroline Appleby comes here this
afternoon
and I don't have some movie stars
here to meet her, my name is mud.
Well, it's all your fault.
You wrote her all those letters,
telling here that you were hobnobbing
with movie stars.
Now she's in town and you can't
produce them.
So why did you have to write all
those bragging letters?
It was perfectly legitimate.
It made my letters more interesting,
more readable.
The awful thing is, Caroline sneaking
into town like this.
Sneaking into town?
She's on her way to Hawaii.
Yeah, well, she planned this whole
trip just to show me up.
Well, I'm sorry.
You're always telling people stories
that are not true.
I'm going to the pool.
Just a minute.
Yes?
Ricky, I'm not asking for much.
All I want is a half a dozen movie
stars
for a couple of hours.
Now, if you can't do this simple
little thing for me, I'll...
I'll kill myself.
Kill yourself?
Yes.
Well, you got a lovely day for it.
Oh!
Hi. I just saw Ricky leave.
Any luck?
No.
How would Harpo Marx be?
Wonderful! Get him!
Wait a minute. I didn't say I could
get him.
Oh, fine.
Now, he's appearing at a luncheon
here today
at the hotel, and maybe we could get
him to drop by.
Oh, sure, maybe we could get Princess
Margaret
to fly over for tea.
You never know unless you ask.
Well, all right.
You run and ask Harpo, I'll call
Princess Margaret.
Okay.
Oh...
It just doesn't make sense, Ethel.
Why should he want to do us a favor?
He doesn't even know us.
I guess you're right.
Well, all we can hope is that
Caroline loses her glasses again
and can't find the hotel.
Hey, wait a minute!
What?
Caroline can't see a foot in front of
her face
without her glasses, can she?
No.
What if we could get her glasses away
from her?
And?
What are you doing?
I was just trying to see if I was
real nearsighted,
if maybe you couldn't pass for
Marilyn Monroe.
Yeah?
Yeah. Pull your hair down over one
eye.
Now walk like Marilyn.
Oh, no, nobody's that nearsighted.
Thanks a lot.
Hey, that magic shop up on the
boulevard
sells masks that look like movie
stars.
Maybe if you wore a mask...
I am not wearing any hot rubber mask
all afternoon.
All right, then I will.
Oh, you can't get away with wearing a
mask.
I could if I got her glasses off her.
And how are you gonna do that?
Well, let's see, uh...
When Caroline comes in, uh...
(chuckling): Oh, hi, Caroline.
Oh... I'm terribly sorry.
Or, uh...
Oh, Lucy, why don't you just shoot
her
when she walks through the door?
Then you won't have to bother about
getting the masks.
Well, come on, we'll go get the masks
right away.
We can figure out how to get her
glasses off later, huh?
Oh...
Hi. Caroline isn't here yet, huh?
No.
Listen, you didn't lock your door,
did you?
No. I got the door all open
and I got your mother to take the
baby
to the zoo for the afternoon
and I got your costumes all laid out
on the bed
just waiting for you to get in 'em.
Okay. Now, the important thing for
you to remember
is that you have to keep Caroline
real busy
while I'm changing from one outfit to
the other.
I know.
Now, let's see.
When I got the Harpo Marx outfit on,
I don't have to talk,
so I don't have to worry about that.
Now, when I've got the other...
(doorbell buzzing)
There she is.
Well...
Hi, Lucy, how are ya?
Hi, Ethel!
Any stars here yet?
Oh, no, not yet, dear.
Oh, I can just hardly wait.
Who do you suppose will come by?
Well, like I told you--
Clark, Bing and Gary will be here
and, uh, Ronnie and Bonita will...
Oh, no. No, Ronnie and Bonita were
here last week.
They probably won't drop in again
this week.
Oh.
Uh, but Harpo Marx is staying in the
hotel.
He said he might come up.
Oh, he's one of my favorite funny
men.
Well, good, and you never can tell
who else might drop in.
Caroline, your glasses are all
smudged.
I want you to be able to see the
movie stars real good.
You'd better let me clean them for
you. What's that?
Isn't that a wonderful idea?
I bought it when I lost my glasses.
That will never happen to me again.
No, these are clear.
I can see real good.
Oh, chocolates, mmm.
Caroline, dear...
Yeah.
Uh, just how bad are your eyes
without your glasses?
(chuckling): Oh, are you kidding,
Lucy?
I can't see a thing.
Oh, come now.
No, really, I can't.
Oh, I don't believe that.
Well...
Well, take them off.
Let me test you.
Well, all right, but you'll see.
I just can't see a thing.
Oh, I don't believe it.
What does that say?
Uh...
oh, I can't see that.
Yeah, well, try.
Come on, try.
Uh... well...
No, I can't make that out.
Oh, my...
Oh, you're really blind, girl.
I told you, oh, it's awful.
Why, that I don't believe, for
heaven's sake.
You know, I heard people say
that they couldn't see without their
glasses...
...letters this high, you know.
What's the matter, dear, lose
something?
Well, my glasses-- th-they're gone.
Why, they couldn't be.
They're hanging right around your...
Well, for heaven's sake, they are
gone.
Oh...
Now, they couldn't have just
disappeared.
ETHEL: Oh, they must be here
someplace.
Ah, you kids look for the glasses.
I got a lot to do before the gang
gets here.
I got to go next door and borrow some
sugar.
Borrow sugar?
In a hotel?
Oh, well, we're just all one big
happy family here.
Oh.
I just don't understand it.
They, they couldn't have simply
disappeared into thin air.
Oh, I'm so sorry, honey.
(sighing)
(doorbell buzzing)
(gasping): Ethel, you suppose that's
a movie star?
I have a feeling it might be.
Come in.
Why, Gary.
Who is it? Who is it?
It's Gary Cooper.
Oh!
ETHEL: Hi, Gary.
Howdy.
I want you to meet a friend of mine,
Caroline Appleby.
Oh, how do you do?
Howdy, ma'am.
Uh, can you stay awhile?
Nope.
You have to go?
Yep.
Right away?
Yep.
Oh, well, it was just awfully nice
meeting you, Mr. Cooper.
Yep.
Thanks for dropping by, Gary.
Yep.
Thanks a lot.
Yep.
Come again.
Yep.
Oh!
Oh, Coop's a doll.
Too bad he couldn't stay.
You'd have loved him.
Gee, he looked so handsome, too.
From what I could see.
Gee, Gary Cooper.
Oh, Ethel, where are those glasses?
We met a lot of stars since we came
to Hollywood.
You did?
(doorbell buzzing)
Here's another one.
Come in.
Why, Clark!
Who? Who?
It's Clark Gable.
Oh!
ETHEL: Uh, Clark, can you stay for a
little while?
Aw, you got a cold?
Got a little laryngitis, baby.
That's too bad.
But I want you to meet a friend of
mine, Caroline Appleby.
How do you do?
Uh, bup-bup.
You'll catch his cold.
Well, who cares?
Imagine me being able to tell the
girls back home
that I caught a cold from Clark
Gable!
Honey, I'm not going to let you catch
a cold...
Now, Ethel, I want to meet...
Now look what you did, you scared
him.
Well, I'm sorry.
I... I guess I was awfully rude,
but I just couldn't help myself.
Weren't you excited?
Yeah.
Clark Gable...
Hi. Ha, ha!
Lucy, where have you been?
Do you know that Clark Gable and Gary
Cooper have been here?
Yeah, I saw them down the hall,
and they both thought you were
terribly attractive.
Ha, ha!
Oh, really?
Yeah. Clark said he'd never forgive
himself
for having that terrible cold.
Oh!
He thought you were a doll.
(laughing giddily)
I'll be back.
Hi, Rick. Swell day, huh?
Oh, hi, Fred.
You know, Fred, I'm beginning to feel
like a heel.
What about?
Well, you know, the way I acted with
Lucy today.
I could have got a couple of actors
to come over there and visit.
Caroline would have been happy,
Lucy would have been happy,
and everything would have been all
right.
I know she exaggerates,
and she shouldn't tell all those
stories,
but, uh... she has a good side to
her.
Don't you think so, Fred?
Huh?
Come on, you haven't listened to a
word I said.
I was telling you the way that I felt
about Lucy...
(women screaming)
(Harpo whistling)
Harpo!
Harpo Marx!
Yeah, Babalu, Ricky, yeah.
(laughing)
Babalu, yeah.
Oh, this is Fred Mertz, Harpo.
Couple of cute chicks you were
chasing.
(wolf whistle)
(slow wolf whistle)
Say, what are you doing in costume?
(whistles)
A woman? Hit?
Oh, wom-wom-wom...
a lot of women?
Lots of women, yeah.
Women, women, women.
Struck 'em? Women?
Hit? Strike?
(whistling)
Club!
Club.
(whistles)
Women's club.
(whistling)
Oh.
(whistling)
Wh-Wh-What about, what about a
women's club?
(whistling)
You broke into the women's club?
Oh, ben-ben- ben-bend, bend.
Bend.
(whistles)
Joint?
(shrill whistle)
(whistling)
Uh, bend?
Knee.
Knee!
Knee, knee, knee, yeah, yeah.
(whistling)
Dogs?
(whistling)
Feet, feet, feet!
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, feet.
Bend, knee, fit.
(muffled): Ben, knee, fit.
Oh, benefit!
Benefit! Oh, yeah!
(whistling)
The women's club benefit.
You're playing at the women's club
benefit.
Oh. What time are you going to play?
(whistles)
Turn, over.
Oh, it's over.
You already played there.
Oh, geez, isn't that too bad?
The girls love it.
The girls would have loved to see it.
Hey, would you do me a favor? Huh?
(laughing): No.
No, I don't need any money.
No.
Let me tell you what it is.
Lucy has a girlfriend of hers
here from New York, see?
And this girl is just dying to meet a
big movie star.
Big star like you.
Yeah! That's right.
So, listen, Harpo.
Would you do me a favor and-and go up
to Room 315
and pay them a visit?
(shrill whistle)
Thank you!
Oh, Ethel... Ethel, this has been the
most thrilling day.
Imagine meeting Bing Crosby, and
Walter Pidgeon
and Clark Gable and Gary Cooper all
in the same day!
Do you think anyone else will drop
by?
Oh, I have a feeling someone will.
(doorbell buzzing)
There's one now.
Come in.
Hiya, folks.
Jimmy Durante!
In person.
Jimmy, I want you to meet a friend of
mine and Lucy's,
Caroline Appleby.
Oh, how do you do?
Pleased to meet you.
Excuse me for staring, but I lost my
glasses.
What a "catastrastrope"!
Oh, Jimmy! Will you stay and have a
cup of tea?
No, thanks, I got an appointment.
Oh, that's too bad.
Well, toodle-oo.
And to you, too.
Oh, it's just been a pleasure meeting
you, Mr. Durante.
Good night, Mrs. Appleby,
whoever you are.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, thanks a lot!
Come back again.
Oh, Ethel, Ethel, this has been such
fun.
I wouldn't have missed this for the
world.
Well, it is kind of fun meeting the
movie stars
and palling around with celebrities.
(doorbell buzzing)
(gasps)
That must be another one.
Oh, uh...
I doubt it, so soon.
Why?
Uh, why?
Uh, well, uh, uh, movie stars usually
space themselves
farther apart than this.
But I'll see.
That was fast.
Uh, Harpo, I want you to meet my
friend, Caroline Appleby.
Harpo Marx, how do you do?
Oh!
(laughing)
Don't overdo it.
(laughing)
You know, Harpo, I've seen you chase
girls in movies,
but you don't really do that, do you?
(screaming and laughing)
(whistling)
(laughing uncontrollably)
Did you bring your harp?
No, he didn't.
(whistling)
You did?
(whistling)
You brought your harp?
(whistling)
That man is just a scream.
I laughed so hard, I cried.
Oh, I've got to fix my mascara.
I'll fix my face before he gets back.
Yeah, fix your face.
(doorbell buzzing)
Where's your harp?
Huh? Where's Caroline?
She's in there.
Lucy?
What?
Weren't you just here as Harpo?
No.
You weren't?
No.
Then that Harpo really was Harpo!
What are you talking about?
The real Harpo Marx was just here.
What would he be doing up here?
I don't know, but he said he was
going to go get his harp.
(doorbell buzzing)
There he is!
Go hide.
Not in there.
Caroline's in there.
Hide in the kitchen.
In the kitchen.
(whistling)
What?
(whistling)
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
Well, this is a real treat.
Sit down. He's gonna really play the
harp for us.
What are you gonna play?
(whistles "Take Me Out To The Ball
Game")
"Take Me Out To The Ball Game." Oh!
(playing ornate, highly stylized
version of "Take Me Out To The Ball
Game")
(ornate, highly stylized version of
"Take Me Out To The Ball Game"
continuing)
(ornate, highly stylized version of
"Take Me Out To The Ball Game"
continuing)
(ornate, highly stylized version of
"Take Me Out To The Ball Game"
continuing)
Oh, Harpo!
Oh, my, that was wonderful.
Oh!
(murmuring)
Oh!
Oh, I can't believe I was...
CAROLINE: Oh, wonderful!
ETHEL: That was such a thrill, Harpo.
Oh!
Oh, Harpo, thank you so much.
Oh, thank you, thank you, tha...
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, my goodness.
It's getting late.
I've got a plane to catch.
Oh, yeah.
Well, it was awfully nice seeing you,
Harpo.
And thanks so much, Ethel, for
every...
Oh!
I'll see you to the elevator.
Yes, and be sure and thank Lucy
for...
It was just wonderful.
Good-bye.
Oh, Ethel!
Oh, Caroline, here are your glasses.
My glasses, oh!
They were there on the floor all the
time.
Oh, thank you! Aloha!
Can I help you?
Oh, yeah, good-bye!
Bye!
Oh, no!
(whistling)
(whistling)
Oh, no!
(horns honk four times in unison)
Harpo!
Oh!
Oh, Harpo, who told you to come up
here?
Babalu. Ricky! Oh!
And Fred.
Oh.
ETHEL: Really?
(Lucy laughing)
(whistling)
You characters are too late.
What do you mean? What's the matter?
What happened?
Caroline's already gone.
Oh.
Which one of you two is Harpo?
(Ricky guffawing)
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
ANNOUNCER: Caroline Appleby was
played by Doris Singleton
and Harpo Marx portrayed himself.
I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same
time.