I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 4, Episode 26 - In Palm Springs - full transcript
After having a fight with Ricky and Fred, Lucy and Ethel go to Palm Springs. They meet Rock Hudson there, who helps get everyone back together.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
You want coffee, don't you, Fred?
Okay.
Yes?
Good. You can take care of us, huh?
Oh, that's wonderful.
Thank you very much. Good-bye.
Is it all set, honey?
Yes, sir, by Wednesday,
we'll be lolling in the Palm Springs
sun.
Oh, great.
Oh!
Palm Springs.
Oh, that'll be great.
Play golf and everything, huh, Fred?
Yes, sir.
Hey, Lucy, are there
Huh?
any of those cakes left
that we bought at the Farmers Market?
Oh, gee, I don't know, Ethel.
I'll see if...
Ethel, we've just had dinner.
Are you gonna feed your face again?
Well, I just want a little extra
something.
From where I'm sitting,
you've already got that little extra
something.
Here they are.
RICKY: What are we gonna do tonight?
I'd like to go to a movie.
Well, let's see.
Look up something good now, Lucy.
Rock Hudson!
In what?
In Palm Springs.
Are you looking up a movie?
No, I'm reading Hedda Hopper.
She says Rock Hudson has returned
from a personal appearance tour
with his exciting new picture,
Captain Lightfoot,
and he's resting in Palm Springs.
That's right. He told me at lunch the
other day
he was going down there.
Do you know him?
Here he is hobnobbing with big
celebrities every day.
It just doesn't mean a thing to him.
Honey, they're just like anybody
else.
"They're just like anybody else."
Oh...
Oh...
See if you can find a neighborhood
movie.
(chuckling)
All right.
What's so funny?
RICK: What's so funny?!
Well, it seems they arrested a woman
last night
for hitting her husband.
I fail to see anything comical about
that.
Well... it was the way it happened.
They were married for 20 years.
He had this irritating habit of
cracking his knuckles.
Finally she couldn't stand it and she
said,
"Don't crack your knuckles anymore,
dear. Let me do it."
And she cracked them with a baseball
bat!
(both laughing hysterically)
Well, they...
(laughing uncontrollably)
I've often...
Well, they've finally crossed that
thin dividing line.
I don't see why you have to get so
hysterical about it.
I don't know, but the idea of someone
finally letting go
and doing exactly as they've wanted
to do for 20 years
just kills me.
(guffawing)
I know just how she felt.
Yeah, imagine...
with a baseball bat.
Pow!
(laughing harder)
ETHEL: A baseball bat.
Well, she couldn't have loved her
husband very much,
my goodness, if a little knuckle
cracking
is all she had to put up with.
What do you mean by that, Lucy?
What?
"If a little knuckle cracking is all
she had to put up with."
Oh, I didn't mean anything, dear.
Everybody has little habits that
annoy somebody else.
Are you insinuating
that I have habits that drive you
crazy?
Honey, I didn't say that you had any
annoying habits
that drive me crazy.
What do you mean by that?
Oh, honey, now, you're only human.
All right, go ahead.
Mention one annoying habit that I
have.
Go on. Mention one.
Well, if you insist.
That tapping.
What tapping?
That tapping.
Oh, well. Huh.
I never did that before.
Never did it bef...
Oh, honey!
You've been tapping those nervous
little fingers
for 15 years.
Well, I beg your pardon.
Oh, honey, now, don't let it upset
you.
Nowadays it doesn't bother me much,
but I will admit it used to set my
teeth on edge.
Muchas gracias.
Well, are we going to a movie or
aren't we?
Yeah, see what's playing around here,
Ethel.
Look in the paper, will you?
Okay.
At the Pantages is, uh...
May I say that you're not the only
one
that has the tith on edge.
(clinking)
Oh?
Go on.
What is it about me that sets your
"tith" on edge?
No, no, go ahead, tell me what little
habit I have
that drives you crazy.
Ha, you know what it is.
No, I don't.
You're doing it right now.
I'm not doing anything now.
Is your coffee too hot?
No.
Then why are you stirring it?
Every morning for hours and hours and
hours.
Tickily tink, tickily tink, tickily
tink.
Tickily tink, tickily tink.
Well, that's the most ridiculous
thing I ever heard.
I'm just stirring it enough to get
the cream mixed in.
(laughing): "Get the cream mixed in."
You stir it long enough to make
butter.
Why, breakfast wouldn't be breakfast
without you
pounding out "the anvil chorus" on
your coffee cup.
Well, I'm very sorry that I set your
tith on edge.
And that's another thing.
You're always mucking the way I talk.
That's because there's so much there
to "muck."
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Well...
Now wait a minute.
Wait a minute, will you?
(keys jingling)
Take it easy.
You're acting like that couple in the
paper.
Are we going to a picture or not?
Not.
Oh, now, you're just acting childish.
Married people are only human.
(wry chuckle)
You just have to learn to overlook
these little things.
Sure.
Imagine if I let Ethel's irritating
habits
get on my nerves.
What irritating habits are you
referring to, Frederick?
It's nothing.
You just said we'd have to overlook
these things.
What things?
Oh, now, let's not be specific,
honeybunch.
You'd only get sore.
No, I wouldn't, dear.
Go on, tell me.
Well, here's a little thing.
You enjoy your food so much,
you eat it with a lot of...
Gusto?
Relish?
Enthusiasm?
Well, frankly the word I had in mind
was...
(smacking)
Noise!
Noise?!
You, you, you asked me and I told
you.
(keys jingling)
Speaking of noise, I have a
compliment for you.
For me?
Well, what is it?
(keys jingling)
You going to tell me?
Yes, just as soon as you finish that
chorus of "Jingle Bells."
"Jingle bells"?
What are you talking about?
(chuckling): "Jingle bells."
(mirthless chuckle)
(jingling)
So I jingle my keys a little.
A little! For 25 years,
I felt like I was married to the Good
Humor Man!
Well, it certainly is very
interesting to find out
that we've been driving each other
crazy all these years.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(tapping, clinking, smacking,
jingling)
Yes? Something bothering you?
You are deliberately not stirring
your coffee.
I am not.
Yes, you are.
I am not deliberately
not stirring my coffee.
No me digas lo que estas haciendo.
Look, let me tell you something.
If you expect to argue with me,
will you please argue in English?
How can I answer anything?
Hey, hey, hey.
I just came from the preliminaries.
I'm glad I'm in time for the main
event.
Oh, you, too, huh?
Yeah, but, uh, our bout was a little
bit dull--
all in English.
No international flavor, like yours.
Well, I don't blame Ethel, Fred.
That was terrible, your telling her
she chewed like a cow.
Why, if you ever said a thing like
that...
Oh, now, lay off, will you, Lucy?
I just went ten rounds with Old
Bossy.
Aah.
Oh, there you are.
I want the key to the trunk
unless you need it to play a tune.
How'd you like to hear
a couple of choruses of "Cow Cow
Boogie"?
Fred, you take that back!
All right, I'll take that back.
What's the matter with all of us?
We're snapping at each other like
four cats in a sack.
We are, aren't we?
Yes, we are, and I know
why we're getting on each other's
nerves.
Why?
Because we've been together too much
on this trip.
Any four people that have spent this
much time together
are bound to get sick of each other.
Lucy, I think you've hit it.
Yeah. So the four of us
are gonna go to Palm Springs and
share a bungalow.
Oh, dear.
Well, there's just one thing to do:
One couple go to Palm Springs, the
other couple stay here.
Oh, that doesn't seem fair.
Well, it's the only way, Ethel.
We'll tell you all about it when we
get back.
Wait a minute.
How come you're the couple that's
going?
Yeah.
Oh, I don't know.
I just picked a couple at random and
it was us.
No, no, I'll tell you what we'll do.
We'll flip a coin.
Heads, the Mertzes will go; tails, we
go. Okay?
LUCY: Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
We're going at this thing all wrong.
We're planning to spend the weekend
with the person who annoys us the
most.
Oh, yeah.
We're paired off wrong.
Now she tells me.
All right, so who's gonna go to Palm
Springs?
Either Ethel and I, or Fred and you.
Okay.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Shall I flip the coin?
All right, heads, we go; tails, you
stay.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
You won't catch me with that again.
That's how I happened to get married.
Oh...
So I made a mistake.
Uh, heads, we go; tails, you go.
That's better.
All right? Okay.
Two out of three.
Lucy...
Three out of five.
Four out of seven.
All right, all right.
You and Ethel go to Palm Springs.
Have a good time.
You mean it?
It's either that or 223 out of 349.
(sighs)
It says here
this is the first time it's rained in
Palm Springs
during this month in 20 years.
No kidding.
Well, leave it to us to pick this
time.
Any break in the clouds?
Huh?
Any break in the clouds?
Oh, I wasn't looking at that.
I thought maybe a movie star would
float by.
You know, the waiter told me this
morning
that Rock Hudson's staying in that
bungalow next door.
"Palm Springs--
where the sunshine spends the
winter."
Where's the sun?
Maybe it couldn't get a room.
Well, I'm going in
and take a nap with the baby.
Okay, Mother.
I wonder what the boys are doing in
Hollywood.
Oh, they're probably down at the pool
swimming and sunning.
And jingling and tapping.
Jelly.
Do you want some more coffee?
Nope.
Oh! Cherry.
Mmm...
Mmm...
(Noisy smacking)
Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
(smacking)
(smacking)
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Ethel, will you stop it?!
I can't stand it another minute!
Stand what?
What was I doing?
What's the matter with you?
Can't you eat quietly?
You sound like a cow pulling its foot
out of the mud.
I am getting a little tired of being
called a cow.
Well, do you have to make so much
noise?
Yes. Yes, I do.
I have to do something
to drown out the sound of your
clinking.
I'm going stir-crazy.
Well, I beg your pardon.
Oh, I'm sorry, Ethel.
I guess my nerves are on edge.
I wish we hadn't come on this trip at
all.
I miss Ricky.
I can top that. I miss Fred.
I wish they were down here right now,
taps, clinks and all.
So do I.
Well, let's call them up
and tell them to come down right
away, huh?
Okay!
Oh, wait a minute.
You can't do that.
Why not?
Well, if you call them up,
it'll be just admitting that we were
wrong
and that we miss them.
Well, we were wrong, and we do miss
them.
You can't tell a husband a thing like
that!
You'll set wives back 2,000 years.
Oh, don't be silly.
I'm ready to forgive and forget.
You forgive and they'll never let you
forget.
Well, how else are we gonna get them
down here?
Oh, there must be another way.
We can think of something.
Is it ever gonna stop raining?
Aw, what's the difference?
The ball game's called off.
Nuts!
Just when I had a chance to see the
Hollywood stars.
Well, we can't play golf and we can't
go swimming.
What are we gonna do?
Well, if this rain keeps coming down,
we might as well start building an
ark.
Well, we got to do something besides
just sit in this room.
Well, we can always go and sit in my
room.
Very clever remark.
Heh, heh, heh, heh.
I liked it.
(keys jingling)
(keys jingling)
Do you have to jingle those keys?!
Will you stop that tapping?!
You know, the way we're snapping at
each other,
you'd think we were married.
Yeah.
You know what I think it is?
What?
Well, this might sound crazy to you,
but I think we miss our wives.
Oh, come now.
No, really. I miss Lucy.
You don't suppose I miss Ethel?
Why else would you be acting so
cranky and irritable?
Well, my liver could be out of whack.
Come on! Let's go join them.
Let's get out of this miserable rain
and into that wonderful Palm Springs
sunshine.
We gotta have a story.
We just can't run down there there
and say we miss 'em.
Well...
(phone ringing)
Get that.
Hello.
Palm Springs.
Maybe the girls.
Hello?
Uh-uh.
Yes, this is Ricky Ricardo.
Oh, yes.
Yes...
Oh, ye... sure.
I could come...
I could leave right away.
Okay. Thank you.
That would be wonderful.
This is perfect.
That was Dore Schary's secretary.
She wants me to come to Palm Springs
and meet with Dore for a picture.
Gee, what a break!
Isn't that great?
Great.
Go pack your bags.
Oh, boy! What a recipe for chocolate
cake.
Oh, Ethel,
you're always thinking about
something to eat.
MRS. McGILLICUDDY: Come on, baby.
On to Mom, darling.
Here we are!
Hi!
Hi, sweetie!
Ah, we had a nice long walk.
Now we're going to go in and get a
cookie.
All right, honey.
But don't let him eat too much.
I don't want him to spoil his dinner.
All right.
Come on, now.
Come on, we walk back.
There we go.
Bye, lovey.
Say bye-bye to Mom.
Oh, isn't this wonderful?
Oh, thank goodness that sun came out.
Why are you all covered up?
You know I don't want to get sunburn.
I don't get it. What was all that
talk
about "Where's the sun?"
Well, it's the principle of the
thing.
I paid for the sun.
It's my business whether I use it or
not.
Lucy!
(hoarse whisper): Rock Hudson!
Pardon me.
Aren't you Mrs. Ricky Ricardo?
Y-Yes.
I mean, yes.
Well, I'm Rock Hudson.
(laughing): Oh, ye... well, I know
that.
How do you do?
How do you do?
Uh, uh, this is Mrs...
Mrs., um, uh...
Mertz.
Mertz?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Uh, Mrs. Mertz.
How do you do?
How do you do?
Did Ricky come with you?
Uh, no, no.
He couldn't get away.
Oh, that's too bad.
You mind if I join you?
Oh, why, certainly we don't mind.
Oh, no!
Uh, um, uh...
Would you like a piece of rock, Mr.
Candy?
Oh... I know, of course.
No, thank you.
I, uh, just got some bad news about
somebody Ricky knows.
Oh?
Script girl at the studio,
and I wanted to tell him about it.
Oh, well, uh...
w-w-wouldn't you like to tell me?
I'll tell him.
Well, I would like to talk to
somebody about it.
if you wouldn't mind.
Oh, no. Go right ahead.
Well, this script girl, Adele
Sliff...
Adele Sliff?
Mm-hmm.
Wonderful girl.
She's been married for 20 years.
Hmm.
About three weeks ago, she and her
husband
had their first fight.
Oh.
What did they fight about?
A habit he had.
A habit?
A silly little habit.
Hmm.
What was it?
He whistled all the time.
He whistled?
Absentmindedly, like this:
(whistles monotone)
Like that?
Just the one note, all the time.
(continues whistling monotone)
(whistling)
(whistling)
Well! That would drive anyone crazy.
Yeah!
Sam would (whistles) all day
and (whistles) all night
and finally Adele couldn't stand it
any longer
and she said, "Sam, just one more
(whistles)
and I'll leave you."
And?
And he (whistles), and she did.
She did? She left him?
She left him.
Just because he went (whistles)?
Oh, well, they'll probably go back
together.
Yeah. If you really love someone,
you shouldn't let a little (whistles)
come between you.
That's the sad part of it.
Yesterday, Adele got a wire.
And it said...
Well, it said...
What, Mr. Hudson?
Well, you see, Sam was on his way
home
to try to make up with her, and he
had an accident.
(gasps)
Adele flew to the hospital and went
into his room
and there was Sam, wrapped in
bandages from head to foot.
Adele said, Oh...
"Sam, speak to me.
Just one little (whistles)."
All she wanted to hear
was just one little (whistles)?
Did he?
No. It was all over.
No (whistles)?
No (whistles).
Sam will never (whistles) again.
Oh!
Quite a sad story.
LUCY: It certainly is.
ETHEL: Wasn't that awful?
LUCY: It shows you how one little
mistake
can mess up your whole life.
ETHEL: Yeah. Oh, dear.
Well, Fred!
Look who's here!
Hi!
Oh, Fred!
Hey, Ricky!
(laughing and clamoring)
Oh, honey, I missed you so!
Well, we missed you, too, honey.
Oh, baby.
(laughing)
(laughing)
(laughing uncontrollably)
Wait a minute.
Oh, you were great, man.
What's so funny?
You should win an award for that
performance!
What are you talking about?
I got to tell them.
It's so great that I got to tell
them.
What?
You see, we didn't know how you would
feel about us,
so we asked Rock to come over here
and kind of soften you up.
Oh, really!
Well, Ethel, what's the difference?
The important thing is, we're all
together.
You're not angry, are you?
Oh, I should say not.
You can soften me up any time.
(all laughing)
Well, Ricky, I got to go.
I'll see you later.
Okay, Rock. Oh, listen.
You know what bungalow Dore Schary's
staying in?
Dore Schary?
Yeah.
He's not here.
He's not?
No.
I can't understand that.
His secretary called me on the
phone...
"Would you mind coming down to Palm
Springs?
"Mr. Schary would like to discuss
a picture property with you."
Was that you on the phone!?
Oh, you...
(laughing)
I'll bet you think we're crazy, huh?
Well... yes.
Yeah, well, we are.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
ANNOUNCER: Mrs. McGillicuddy was
played by Kathryn Card.
Rock Hudson portrayed himself.
and his latest picture is Universal's
Captain Lightfoot.
I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same
time.
You want coffee, don't you, Fred?
Okay.
Yes?
Good. You can take care of us, huh?
Oh, that's wonderful.
Thank you very much. Good-bye.
Is it all set, honey?
Yes, sir, by Wednesday,
we'll be lolling in the Palm Springs
sun.
Oh, great.
Oh!
Palm Springs.
Oh, that'll be great.
Play golf and everything, huh, Fred?
Yes, sir.
Hey, Lucy, are there
Huh?
any of those cakes left
that we bought at the Farmers Market?
Oh, gee, I don't know, Ethel.
I'll see if...
Ethel, we've just had dinner.
Are you gonna feed your face again?
Well, I just want a little extra
something.
From where I'm sitting,
you've already got that little extra
something.
Here they are.
RICKY: What are we gonna do tonight?
I'd like to go to a movie.
Well, let's see.
Look up something good now, Lucy.
Rock Hudson!
In what?
In Palm Springs.
Are you looking up a movie?
No, I'm reading Hedda Hopper.
She says Rock Hudson has returned
from a personal appearance tour
with his exciting new picture,
Captain Lightfoot,
and he's resting in Palm Springs.
That's right. He told me at lunch the
other day
he was going down there.
Do you know him?
Here he is hobnobbing with big
celebrities every day.
It just doesn't mean a thing to him.
Honey, they're just like anybody
else.
"They're just like anybody else."
Oh...
Oh...
See if you can find a neighborhood
movie.
(chuckling)
All right.
What's so funny?
RICK: What's so funny?!
Well, it seems they arrested a woman
last night
for hitting her husband.
I fail to see anything comical about
that.
Well... it was the way it happened.
They were married for 20 years.
He had this irritating habit of
cracking his knuckles.
Finally she couldn't stand it and she
said,
"Don't crack your knuckles anymore,
dear. Let me do it."
And she cracked them with a baseball
bat!
(both laughing hysterically)
Well, they...
(laughing uncontrollably)
I've often...
Well, they've finally crossed that
thin dividing line.
I don't see why you have to get so
hysterical about it.
I don't know, but the idea of someone
finally letting go
and doing exactly as they've wanted
to do for 20 years
just kills me.
(guffawing)
I know just how she felt.
Yeah, imagine...
with a baseball bat.
Pow!
(laughing harder)
ETHEL: A baseball bat.
Well, she couldn't have loved her
husband very much,
my goodness, if a little knuckle
cracking
is all she had to put up with.
What do you mean by that, Lucy?
What?
"If a little knuckle cracking is all
she had to put up with."
Oh, I didn't mean anything, dear.
Everybody has little habits that
annoy somebody else.
Are you insinuating
that I have habits that drive you
crazy?
Honey, I didn't say that you had any
annoying habits
that drive me crazy.
What do you mean by that?
Oh, honey, now, you're only human.
All right, go ahead.
Mention one annoying habit that I
have.
Go on. Mention one.
Well, if you insist.
That tapping.
What tapping?
That tapping.
Oh, well. Huh.
I never did that before.
Never did it bef...
Oh, honey!
You've been tapping those nervous
little fingers
for 15 years.
Well, I beg your pardon.
Oh, honey, now, don't let it upset
you.
Nowadays it doesn't bother me much,
but I will admit it used to set my
teeth on edge.
Muchas gracias.
Well, are we going to a movie or
aren't we?
Yeah, see what's playing around here,
Ethel.
Look in the paper, will you?
Okay.
At the Pantages is, uh...
May I say that you're not the only
one
that has the tith on edge.
(clinking)
Oh?
Go on.
What is it about me that sets your
"tith" on edge?
No, no, go ahead, tell me what little
habit I have
that drives you crazy.
Ha, you know what it is.
No, I don't.
You're doing it right now.
I'm not doing anything now.
Is your coffee too hot?
No.
Then why are you stirring it?
Every morning for hours and hours and
hours.
Tickily tink, tickily tink, tickily
tink.
Tickily tink, tickily tink.
Well, that's the most ridiculous
thing I ever heard.
I'm just stirring it enough to get
the cream mixed in.
(laughing): "Get the cream mixed in."
You stir it long enough to make
butter.
Why, breakfast wouldn't be breakfast
without you
pounding out "the anvil chorus" on
your coffee cup.
Well, I'm very sorry that I set your
tith on edge.
And that's another thing.
You're always mucking the way I talk.
That's because there's so much there
to "muck."
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Well...
Now wait a minute.
Wait a minute, will you?
(keys jingling)
Take it easy.
You're acting like that couple in the
paper.
Are we going to a picture or not?
Not.
Oh, now, you're just acting childish.
Married people are only human.
(wry chuckle)
You just have to learn to overlook
these little things.
Sure.
Imagine if I let Ethel's irritating
habits
get on my nerves.
What irritating habits are you
referring to, Frederick?
It's nothing.
You just said we'd have to overlook
these things.
What things?
Oh, now, let's not be specific,
honeybunch.
You'd only get sore.
No, I wouldn't, dear.
Go on, tell me.
Well, here's a little thing.
You enjoy your food so much,
you eat it with a lot of...
Gusto?
Relish?
Enthusiasm?
Well, frankly the word I had in mind
was...
(smacking)
Noise!
Noise?!
You, you, you asked me and I told
you.
(keys jingling)
Speaking of noise, I have a
compliment for you.
For me?
Well, what is it?
(keys jingling)
You going to tell me?
Yes, just as soon as you finish that
chorus of "Jingle Bells."
"Jingle bells"?
What are you talking about?
(chuckling): "Jingle bells."
(mirthless chuckle)
(jingling)
So I jingle my keys a little.
A little! For 25 years,
I felt like I was married to the Good
Humor Man!
Well, it certainly is very
interesting to find out
that we've been driving each other
crazy all these years.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(tapping, clinking, smacking,
jingling)
Yes? Something bothering you?
You are deliberately not stirring
your coffee.
I am not.
Yes, you are.
I am not deliberately
not stirring my coffee.
No me digas lo que estas haciendo.
Look, let me tell you something.
If you expect to argue with me,
will you please argue in English?
How can I answer anything?
Hey, hey, hey.
I just came from the preliminaries.
I'm glad I'm in time for the main
event.
Oh, you, too, huh?
Yeah, but, uh, our bout was a little
bit dull--
all in English.
No international flavor, like yours.
Well, I don't blame Ethel, Fred.
That was terrible, your telling her
she chewed like a cow.
Why, if you ever said a thing like
that...
Oh, now, lay off, will you, Lucy?
I just went ten rounds with Old
Bossy.
Aah.
Oh, there you are.
I want the key to the trunk
unless you need it to play a tune.
How'd you like to hear
a couple of choruses of "Cow Cow
Boogie"?
Fred, you take that back!
All right, I'll take that back.
What's the matter with all of us?
We're snapping at each other like
four cats in a sack.
We are, aren't we?
Yes, we are, and I know
why we're getting on each other's
nerves.
Why?
Because we've been together too much
on this trip.
Any four people that have spent this
much time together
are bound to get sick of each other.
Lucy, I think you've hit it.
Yeah. So the four of us
are gonna go to Palm Springs and
share a bungalow.
Oh, dear.
Well, there's just one thing to do:
One couple go to Palm Springs, the
other couple stay here.
Oh, that doesn't seem fair.
Well, it's the only way, Ethel.
We'll tell you all about it when we
get back.
Wait a minute.
How come you're the couple that's
going?
Yeah.
Oh, I don't know.
I just picked a couple at random and
it was us.
No, no, I'll tell you what we'll do.
We'll flip a coin.
Heads, the Mertzes will go; tails, we
go. Okay?
LUCY: Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
We're going at this thing all wrong.
We're planning to spend the weekend
with the person who annoys us the
most.
Oh, yeah.
We're paired off wrong.
Now she tells me.
All right, so who's gonna go to Palm
Springs?
Either Ethel and I, or Fred and you.
Okay.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Shall I flip the coin?
All right, heads, we go; tails, you
stay.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
You won't catch me with that again.
That's how I happened to get married.
Oh...
So I made a mistake.
Uh, heads, we go; tails, you go.
That's better.
All right? Okay.
Two out of three.
Lucy...
Three out of five.
Four out of seven.
All right, all right.
You and Ethel go to Palm Springs.
Have a good time.
You mean it?
It's either that or 223 out of 349.
(sighs)
It says here
this is the first time it's rained in
Palm Springs
during this month in 20 years.
No kidding.
Well, leave it to us to pick this
time.
Any break in the clouds?
Huh?
Any break in the clouds?
Oh, I wasn't looking at that.
I thought maybe a movie star would
float by.
You know, the waiter told me this
morning
that Rock Hudson's staying in that
bungalow next door.
"Palm Springs--
where the sunshine spends the
winter."
Where's the sun?
Maybe it couldn't get a room.
Well, I'm going in
and take a nap with the baby.
Okay, Mother.
I wonder what the boys are doing in
Hollywood.
Oh, they're probably down at the pool
swimming and sunning.
And jingling and tapping.
Jelly.
Do you want some more coffee?
Nope.
Oh! Cherry.
Mmm...
Mmm...
(Noisy smacking)
Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
(smacking)
(smacking)
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Ethel, will you stop it?!
I can't stand it another minute!
Stand what?
What was I doing?
What's the matter with you?
Can't you eat quietly?
You sound like a cow pulling its foot
out of the mud.
I am getting a little tired of being
called a cow.
Well, do you have to make so much
noise?
Yes. Yes, I do.
I have to do something
to drown out the sound of your
clinking.
I'm going stir-crazy.
Well, I beg your pardon.
Oh, I'm sorry, Ethel.
I guess my nerves are on edge.
I wish we hadn't come on this trip at
all.
I miss Ricky.
I can top that. I miss Fred.
I wish they were down here right now,
taps, clinks and all.
So do I.
Well, let's call them up
and tell them to come down right
away, huh?
Okay!
Oh, wait a minute.
You can't do that.
Why not?
Well, if you call them up,
it'll be just admitting that we were
wrong
and that we miss them.
Well, we were wrong, and we do miss
them.
You can't tell a husband a thing like
that!
You'll set wives back 2,000 years.
Oh, don't be silly.
I'm ready to forgive and forget.
You forgive and they'll never let you
forget.
Well, how else are we gonna get them
down here?
Oh, there must be another way.
We can think of something.
Is it ever gonna stop raining?
Aw, what's the difference?
The ball game's called off.
Nuts!
Just when I had a chance to see the
Hollywood stars.
Well, we can't play golf and we can't
go swimming.
What are we gonna do?
Well, if this rain keeps coming down,
we might as well start building an
ark.
Well, we got to do something besides
just sit in this room.
Well, we can always go and sit in my
room.
Very clever remark.
Heh, heh, heh, heh.
I liked it.
(keys jingling)
(keys jingling)
Do you have to jingle those keys?!
Will you stop that tapping?!
You know, the way we're snapping at
each other,
you'd think we were married.
Yeah.
You know what I think it is?
What?
Well, this might sound crazy to you,
but I think we miss our wives.
Oh, come now.
No, really. I miss Lucy.
You don't suppose I miss Ethel?
Why else would you be acting so
cranky and irritable?
Well, my liver could be out of whack.
Come on! Let's go join them.
Let's get out of this miserable rain
and into that wonderful Palm Springs
sunshine.
We gotta have a story.
We just can't run down there there
and say we miss 'em.
Well...
(phone ringing)
Get that.
Hello.
Palm Springs.
Maybe the girls.
Hello?
Uh-uh.
Yes, this is Ricky Ricardo.
Oh, yes.
Yes...
Oh, ye... sure.
I could come...
I could leave right away.
Okay. Thank you.
That would be wonderful.
This is perfect.
That was Dore Schary's secretary.
She wants me to come to Palm Springs
and meet with Dore for a picture.
Gee, what a break!
Isn't that great?
Great.
Go pack your bags.
Oh, boy! What a recipe for chocolate
cake.
Oh, Ethel,
you're always thinking about
something to eat.
MRS. McGILLICUDDY: Come on, baby.
On to Mom, darling.
Here we are!
Hi!
Hi, sweetie!
Ah, we had a nice long walk.
Now we're going to go in and get a
cookie.
All right, honey.
But don't let him eat too much.
I don't want him to spoil his dinner.
All right.
Come on, now.
Come on, we walk back.
There we go.
Bye, lovey.
Say bye-bye to Mom.
Oh, isn't this wonderful?
Oh, thank goodness that sun came out.
Why are you all covered up?
You know I don't want to get sunburn.
I don't get it. What was all that
talk
about "Where's the sun?"
Well, it's the principle of the
thing.
I paid for the sun.
It's my business whether I use it or
not.
Lucy!
(hoarse whisper): Rock Hudson!
Pardon me.
Aren't you Mrs. Ricky Ricardo?
Y-Yes.
I mean, yes.
Well, I'm Rock Hudson.
(laughing): Oh, ye... well, I know
that.
How do you do?
How do you do?
Uh, uh, this is Mrs...
Mrs., um, uh...
Mertz.
Mertz?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Uh, Mrs. Mertz.
How do you do?
How do you do?
Did Ricky come with you?
Uh, no, no.
He couldn't get away.
Oh, that's too bad.
You mind if I join you?
Oh, why, certainly we don't mind.
Oh, no!
Uh, um, uh...
Would you like a piece of rock, Mr.
Candy?
Oh... I know, of course.
No, thank you.
I, uh, just got some bad news about
somebody Ricky knows.
Oh?
Script girl at the studio,
and I wanted to tell him about it.
Oh, well, uh...
w-w-wouldn't you like to tell me?
I'll tell him.
Well, I would like to talk to
somebody about it.
if you wouldn't mind.
Oh, no. Go right ahead.
Well, this script girl, Adele
Sliff...
Adele Sliff?
Mm-hmm.
Wonderful girl.
She's been married for 20 years.
Hmm.
About three weeks ago, she and her
husband
had their first fight.
Oh.
What did they fight about?
A habit he had.
A habit?
A silly little habit.
Hmm.
What was it?
He whistled all the time.
He whistled?
Absentmindedly, like this:
(whistles monotone)
Like that?
Just the one note, all the time.
(continues whistling monotone)
(whistling)
(whistling)
Well! That would drive anyone crazy.
Yeah!
Sam would (whistles) all day
and (whistles) all night
and finally Adele couldn't stand it
any longer
and she said, "Sam, just one more
(whistles)
and I'll leave you."
And?
And he (whistles), and she did.
She did? She left him?
She left him.
Just because he went (whistles)?
Oh, well, they'll probably go back
together.
Yeah. If you really love someone,
you shouldn't let a little (whistles)
come between you.
That's the sad part of it.
Yesterday, Adele got a wire.
And it said...
Well, it said...
What, Mr. Hudson?
Well, you see, Sam was on his way
home
to try to make up with her, and he
had an accident.
(gasps)
Adele flew to the hospital and went
into his room
and there was Sam, wrapped in
bandages from head to foot.
Adele said, Oh...
"Sam, speak to me.
Just one little (whistles)."
All she wanted to hear
was just one little (whistles)?
Did he?
No. It was all over.
No (whistles)?
No (whistles).
Sam will never (whistles) again.
Oh!
Quite a sad story.
LUCY: It certainly is.
ETHEL: Wasn't that awful?
LUCY: It shows you how one little
mistake
can mess up your whole life.
ETHEL: Yeah. Oh, dear.
Well, Fred!
Look who's here!
Hi!
Oh, Fred!
Hey, Ricky!
(laughing and clamoring)
Oh, honey, I missed you so!
Well, we missed you, too, honey.
Oh, baby.
(laughing)
(laughing)
(laughing uncontrollably)
Wait a minute.
Oh, you were great, man.
What's so funny?
You should win an award for that
performance!
What are you talking about?
I got to tell them.
It's so great that I got to tell
them.
What?
You see, we didn't know how you would
feel about us,
so we asked Rock to come over here
and kind of soften you up.
Oh, really!
Well, Ethel, what's the difference?
The important thing is, we're all
together.
You're not angry, are you?
Oh, I should say not.
You can soften me up any time.
(all laughing)
Well, Ricky, I got to go.
I'll see you later.
Okay, Rock. Oh, listen.
You know what bungalow Dore Schary's
staying in?
Dore Schary?
Yeah.
He's not here.
He's not?
No.
I can't understand that.
His secretary called me on the
phone...
"Would you mind coming down to Palm
Springs?
"Mr. Schary would like to discuss
a picture property with you."
Was that you on the phone!?
Oh, you...
(laughing)
I'll bet you think we're crazy, huh?
Well... yes.
Yeah, well, we are.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
ANNOUNCER: Mrs. McGillicuddy was
played by Kathryn Card.
Rock Hudson portrayed himself.
and his latest picture is Universal's
Captain Lightfoot.
I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same
time.