I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 3, Episode 3 - Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress - full transcript
Lucy and Ethel unknowingly buy identical gowns for their appearance on a televised revue for their women's club. They both agree to return them to the store and buy different ones, but during their performance, each is wearing the original gown.
(I Love Lucy theme music plays)
(all cooing)
Bye-bye.
Say bye-bye.
Say bye-bye.
ALL: Bye.
He's going to take his nap.
Bye.
Bye-bye.
Isn't he just growing?
I tell you, he's the image of his
father.
He's my godson, you know.
Just darling...
(cooing continues)
Well, let's get on with the meeting.
We have to wait for Lucy?
Well, she's the president.
Well, I'm the co-president.
I'll take over even though it isn't
my turn.
Then we won't waste any time, huh?
Yeah.
All right.
(all talking)
Well, did I miss anything?
Next thing on the agenda is...
Uh, I'll take over now, Ethel.
It's my turn to be president.
ETHEL: Hey, that's doing pretty good,
isn't it?
That's great.
(Lucy taps gavel)
Girls, girls.
The meeting will come to order.
Now, I would like to talk about the
club's yearly show.
I think we should schedule it for
sometime next week.
Next week?
But it's so close to the bazaar.
But it's only three months
since we had our last yearly show.
Yes, I know.
Now, if you'll all be quiet
I'll have Caroline tell you
the wonderful reason-- Caroline?
Well, as you all know,
my husband is the manager of a
television station,
and last night we were talking, and
he just happened to mention
that there was one half hour of time
that they hadn't been able to sell.
So I said to him,
"Charlie, how about letting our
women's club put on a show
during that half hour?"
And he said... well, never mind what
he said.
Well, anyway, after I talked to him
for a while,
he finally agreed that our club can
have the time.
(all exclaiming excitedly)
(tapping gavel)
Girls, girls, girls, let's be
businesslike about this now.
What time did he agree to give us,
Caroline?
Uh, next Monday from 12:00 to 12:30.
Oh, that's fine time.
That's right in the middle of the day
when everybody's home.
Yeah, well, everybody's home, all
right,
but it's not the middle of the day.
It's 12:00 midnight.
Midnight!
Oh, well, now, look-- what difference
does it make?
We have a whole half hour on
television.
Now, the important thing is to select
the chairman,
someone to be in charge of the whole
program.
Now, it's very important that we
select someone
who has a lot of talent, who makes a
good appearance,
someone who is in show business or at
least close to it
by having a husband, or someone like
that, you know,
who is in it.
You all agree with me, don't you?
(all talking at once)
Well, then the chair will have
nominations
for that important post.
The chair recognizes Marian Strong.
You're absolutely right, Madam
Chairman.
That's just the kind of a person we
need.
Well, it's the only logical way.
Now, as you all know, there is only
one of us here
who is really close to the theater.
I spent a number of years as an
actress...
brilliantly climaxing my career
by being mistress of ceremonies at
the Senior Shenanigans
of the Rappahannock School For Girls.
Need I say more?
Well, you certainly need not.
I didn't know you were professional.
(all talking excitedly)
Madam Co-President,
uh, at this point, may I ask you to
take over?
Why?
Well, it's not fair for me
to be president at this moment.
For what I have to say, I'd rather be
a civilian.
Now, do I hear any more nominations
for chairman of our show?
Lucy Ricardo.
Well, uh, dramatic experience is
fine,
but will the general public know
who Marian Strong is?
Well, you can tell them
at the beginning of the program, you
know.
The program would be over before we
could say
"Senior Shenanigans of the
Rappahannock School For Girls."
It would not!
Oh, girls.
Oh, it certainly would.
Girls!
You can't say...
Girls!
..."school for girls"
without your tongue getting twisted.
Lucy... Lucy, you have the floor.
Thank you very much.
Therefore, I think
that I should be the chairman.
Who knows who you are?
Nobody, and you hit it right on the
head.
What we need is a star name, and if I
am chosen chairman
I will guarantee to get Ricky Ricardo
as master of ceremonies.
Oh, Lucy, are you sure you could get
Ricky?
Oh, well, girls, girls,
in that case,
I'm sure that Marian will be
the first to agree
that Lucy should be in charge.
Of course.
Now, all those in favor of making
Lucy Ricardo chairman
of our yearly show on television, say
"aye."
SEVERAL VOICES: Aye.
The "ayes" have it.
Meeting adjourned, let's eat.
Oh, that's wonderful.
Ethel, will you help me?
(all chatting)
Don't forget the punchbowl.
Oh, Lucy, imagine us being on
television.
Isn't it wonderful?
Oh, boy.
And with Ricky as master of
ceremonies.
Good night.
Hey, what made him change his mind?
I thought he said he never would be
in another women's club production.
He did.
Well, then, how come he agreed to be
in this one?
He didn't yet.
Oh, Lucy, you just said you could get
Ricky
so you'd get to be the chairman.
Oh, what a sneaky thing to do.
If I am the chairman
the best parts in the show
are certain to go to you and me.
Oh, yeah.
Doesn't seem so sneaky now, does it?
Well...
(knock)
Come in.
Hi.
Hi, Fred.
Hi.
Hi, Fred.
Is this week's meeting
of the claw and cackle club over?
Never mind that now, Fred.
We're going to be on television.
Who is?
Our women's club.
Well, That ought to bring back
movies.
No kidding, Fred.
Caroline Appleby's husband said
that we could have a whole half hour
on his TV station next Monday night.
Oh, do you need any good talent?
What kind of a show are you going to
put on?
Uh...
A cooking show.
A panel show.
Oh, I get it.
Well, if you don't want me on your
show, I won't be in it.
Okay.
Okay.
On the other hand,
you're entitled to a...
to a little peek at the kind of
talent you're turning down.
Now, listen, Fred, Ricky's going to
be the only man in it.
All the rest are members of our
women's club.
When the red, red robin comes a-bob
bob bobbin' along, along
We should know better than to tell
him.
There'll be no more sobbin'
When he starts robbin' his own sweet
song
Wake up, wake up, wake up, you sleepy
head
Okay, Fred.
All right, Fred.
Get up, come on, come on, get out of
bed
Cheer up, cheer up...
Okay, you can be in it.
Cheer up, the sun is red
Fred, she said you can be in it.
Live, love, laugh and be happy
What if I were blue
I'll be walking through a field of
flowers
The rain will glisten, and I will
listen
BOTH: For hours and hours.
Oh, I'm just a kid again, doing what
I did again
Singing a song
When the red, red robin...
FRED: When the red, red robin
Comes bob, bob, bobbin' along...
He's still at it.
Come on, Ethel.
Let's figure out the routine for the
show.
Okay.
What'll we start with?
Well, Luann Hall
will want to play the piano.
Yeah.
And Jane Sebastian will want to do
her birdcalls.
Yeah.
She's all right.
I suppose Caroline will want to do
her impersonation of Bette Davis.
That isn't Bette Davis she
impersonates.
It's Lionel Barrymore.
It is?
Say...
you don't think we could get along
without Caroline, do you?
Her husband manages the station.
Who follows Caroline?
Rosalyn McKee will want to recite
"Trees."
Oh, she does that so beautifully.
Yeah, she does, she really does.
Let's see now, Ricky can sing a
couple of numbers
and then I'll do
the big closing number
and that's it.
I don't think I've left out anyone,
have I?
Can you think of anyone el...?
Oh, dear.
Well, thank you.
Oh, well, come now, dear.
We'll find a spot for you someplace.
Let's see here, Luann, Jane,
Caroline.
Well, you can't do the closing
number.
Why?
'Cause I'm doing it.
Why?
Well, I'm the president.
Well, I'm the co-president.
Well, I'm the chairman.
Well, I'm the one who knows how you
got to be chairman.
Well!
Oh, come on, now, Lucy,
seeing as we're co-presidents,
why don't we do a duet?
A duet?
Yeah, something like, uh...
that Cole Porter song, "Friendship."
Isn't that a wonderful idea?
Well, no.
That way I don't get to sing alone.
That's what makes it a wonderful
idea.
Now, cut it out, Ethel.
"Friendship"?
Uh-huh.
"Friendship," let's see,
is that the one that goes...
(hums)
(off-key): If you're ever up a tree
Call on me.
That's it.
Is that it?
Yeah, that's a wonderful number.
Listen, let's get some sheet music
and rehearse it.
Okay.
Here, help me move this table.
Where are you gonna put it?
Play with your toys, honey.
ETHEL: Lucy?
Yeah, I'm here, Ethel.
Hi, honey.
Ricky isn't home yet, huh?
No, not yet.
Lucy, I've been worrying.
About what?
Well, what if you can't talk him into
emceeing the show?
Don't worry, I've got my strategy all
planned.
What are you going to do, wheedle
him?
No, I've done that so much
my wheedle is all worn out.
And I'm not going to be lovey dovey
or cry or pout either.
What's left?
I'm going to use my head.
What are you going to do, beat him
with it?
No, I'm going to make Ricky ask
to be in that show.
How? Hypnotize him?
No, when Ricky comes home,
you and I are going to be talking
about the show,
and we'll be discussing who we're
going to get to emcee.
You watch, Ricky won't be able to
stand it.
We won't even mention him.
Oh, I don't know.
Well, I do.
Listen, Ethel, next to sugar,
Cuba's biggest export is ham.
RICKY: Honey, I'm home.
There it is.
Okay, dear, I'll be right there.
Now, Ethel, you remember, you follow
my lead.
We won't even mention Ricky.
We'll consider everyone but him.
Okay.
Hi, dear.
Hi. Oh, hi, Ethel.
Hello, Ricky.
Hi, honey.
Hi, honey.
Guess what happened at the club
meeting today.
I know I shouldn't ask, but what?
Well, Caroline Appleby's husband
said that we could have one whole
half hour
on his TV station next Monday night.
We're going to put on a review.
Yes?
And we were waiting for you to come
home
because we wanted to ask you
a very important question.
Yes...?
Should we wear formals?
Should you wear formals?
Yeah, Ethel and I have got a number
to do together,
and we don't know whether to wear
costumes or formals.
Oh, let's wear formals.
It'll give me an excuse to buy a new
one.
Okay. Formals it is.
Thanks anyway, Ricky.
Didn't need you after all.
Come on, Ethel.
Oh, say, wait a minute: what about
the emcee?
Yeah, what about the emcee?
Yeah, what about the emcee?
Well, you see, we need a master of
ceremonies
and it'd be great if it was someone
really wonderful, you know.
Gee, I can't think of a soul.
Can you think of anybody, Ethel?
Well, it'll be a great opportunity
for someone to be seen on television.
Sure will.
He'll be in front of the cameras
most of the time.
That's right.
Should be someone who makes a good
appearance.
A dark, handsome type.
It'd be great if he could play
a musical instrument and sing a song.
Yeah.
Let's see now, a dark, handsome type,
plays a musical instrument and sings
a song.
Well, there's only one person to ask.
Dan Jenkins.
Dan Jenkins?
Yeah, what's the matter with him?
Well, it's none of my business,
but this fella doesn't even have a
voice.
Well, he plays a musical instrument.
Sure, tissue paper and comb.
Well, if that's what you want, it's
okay with me.
Oh, well, honey, it isn't what we
want.
We don't want Dan Jenkins.
But, uh, you know
we'd like to have somebody like,
uh...
Well, somebody great
but we don't know anybody like that,
so what are we going to do?
Well, uh...
you haven't asked me.
You? Why, you said you'd never be
in another one of our shows.
Oh, I don't know.
I might be available if I was
approached correctly.
Oh, honey, now don't kid us about
this.
This is serious.
You're being mean.
No, I'm not.
I'm not kidding.
I'm serious.
I'll do it.
Really? What made you change your
mind?
I don't know, I just feel like it.
And that should teach you a lesson.
What should?
Well, you know, I can always tell
when you're trying to make me do
something,
when you, you know, when you trick me
into it.
Oh?
And I'll never do it
when you're trying to make me do it.
No.
But this is different, as you know.
Here you were in a spot,
and, uh... you respected my wishes
about not being in the show.
You didn't even ask.
No.
So I'm going to be big about it and
I'll help you out.
Oh, honey, you're wonderful.
Oh, that's so sweet.
Now you see how much farther you get
by just being honest?
Yes, dear, I've learned my lesson.
That's a good girl.
Ricky, we've been rehearsing our
number
and we want to do it with a piano.
Will you play for us?
Sure.
Well, I've got to have a ringside
seat for this.
Honey, help me move this down there.
All right.
Push it up toward the couch.
Okay.
Now you stand over there
and we'll make an entrance like this.
Right there?
Yeah.
Ricky, give us a-one, a-two.
Are you ready?
Uh-huh.
All right.
One, two.
(Ricky begins playing piano)
If you're ever in a jam, here I am.
If you're ever in a mess, S.O.S.
If you ever get so happy, you land in
jail
I'm your bail.
BOTH: It's friendship, friendship,
just the perfect blendship.
When other friendships have been
forgot
Ours will still be hot.
A da-da-da-da da-da dig-dig-dig
A da-da-da-da da-da dig-dig-dig
Isn't that funny?
If you're ever up a tree
A-phone to me.
If you're ever down a well
Ring my bell.
Okay.
If you ever lose your dough
When you're out to dine, borrow mine.
BOTH: It's friendship, friendship,
just the perfect blendship.
When other friendships have been
forgate
Ours will still be great.
A la-da-la-da la-da chuck-chuck-chuck
A la-da-la-da la-da
chuck-chuck-chuck.
If they ever a-black your eye
A-put me wise.
If they ever cook your goose
Turn me loose.
If they ever put a bullet
Right through your brain, I'll
complain.
BOTH: It's friendship, friendship,
just the perfect blendship.
When other friendships have been
forgit
Ours will still be it
A la-da-la-da la-da hep-hep-hep
Two, three.
A da-da-da-da da-da hep-hep-hep
Two, three.
A da-da-da-da da-da hep-hep-hep!
Ooh.
Did you like it?
Well, it's a little bit on the corny
side,
but I think it'll go, yeah.
What'd you think, Fred?
Well, it may even be worth
all the money you spent on your new
dress.
Oh, Ethel, you didn't tell me.
When did you get it?
Yesterday afternoon.
I got mine today.
Go get yours and I'll show you mine.
Okay.
(laughs)
Oh, what a pair, eh?
La-la la-la la-la la-la
BOTH: Hep-hep-hep.
Oh, they're demons all right.
I want you to see this.
I think this is the most beautiful
dress...
I never thought I'd own a dress like
this in my whole life.
When I saw it there, I just couldn't
stand it.
And I had such a wonderful
opportunity to buy it and everything.
I can only hope I'm looking in a
mirror.
Well, I'm sorry to say you're not.
Where did you get yours?
At Macy's.
Where did you get yours?
Gimbel's.
Imagine us getting the same dress
at two different stores.
Yeah, it sure is a funny coincidence.
Sure is.
Well, it's very amusing,
but what are we going to do about it?
Oh, well, there's only one thing to
do.
One of us will have to take her dress
back.
Yeah, one of us will have to.
Why take either one of them back?
Yeah, I think it's kind of cute.
You know you can do like a sister
act.
Yeah.
Oh, for heaven's sake,
you don't think we're going to go out
there
and do that number in the same dress,
do you?
Good grief, no.
Well, I'll make the sacrifice, Ethel.
I'll take mine back and get something
else.
Oh, no, I'll take mine back.
No, it's all right, Ethel.
I'll take mine back.
Oh, I couldn't let you do that,
honey.
I'll take mine back.
Well, somebody take something back.
Look, if it's going to create some
hard feelings,
why don't you both take them back?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.
Okay, I'll go for that.
Yeah, we'll both take them back.
All right.
Yeah.
Honey, I'll meet you down at the
television studio.
LUCY: Oh, no, now, wait for me,
honey.
I'm going with you.
Now, you just wait.
Lucy, isn't that the...
Yes, it is.
I got to thinking it was silly
for both of us to take our dresses
back.
As long as Ethel was taking hers
back,
there was no reason for me to take
mine back.
Well, there isn't.
I didn't say a word.
I'll go and get Mrs. Trumbull
to stay with Little Ricky.
Ricky?
What?
Do you think Ethel will be mad at me?
I wouldn't be surprised
if she punched you right in the nose.
Why do you say that?
It's perfectly logical.
Well, if she was going to take her
dress back,
there's no reason why I have to take
mine back.
Oh, for pete's sake, Ethel, aren't
you ready yet?
ETHEL: I'm coming, I'm coming.
Why, Ethel Louise Mertz.
Well, there wasn't any sense
in both of us taking our dresses
back.
If she was going to take her dress
back,
I couldn't see any reason for me to
take my dress back.
Well, one of us should have it.
It's such a pretty dress.
Come on, they're going to meet us
down there.
I'm not going to let her see me till
we do the number.
All right, all right.
RICKY: Now if I may, I'd like to do a
little number for you.
It's become quite popular in the last
couple of months.
Se llego el momento ya de separarnos
En silencio el corazon dice y
suspira...
Vaya con dios, mi vida
Vaya con dios, mi amor.
Las campanas de la iglesia suenan
tristes
Y parece que al sonar tambien te
dicen
Vaya con dios, mi vida
Vaya con dios, mi amor.
Adonde vayas tu ire contigo
En sueno siempre junto a ti estare
Mi voz escucharas, dulce amor mio
Y como yo estaras tambien a de
volver.
La alborada al despertar feliz te
espera
Si en mi corazon yo voy adonde quiera
Vaya con dios, mi vida
Vaya con dios, mi amor.
(applause)
Thank you, thank you, ladies, thank
you, gentlemen.
Thank you very much.
And now for the highlight of our
show,
we are very happy and proud to bring
to you the co-presidents
of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts
League,
Mrs. Ethel Mertz, Mrs. Lucy Ricardo,
in Cole Porter's great number
"Friendship."
Maestro.
(band begins)
Thought you said you were going to
take yours back.
Thought you said you were going to
take yours back.
You big stinker.
If you're ever in a jam, here I am.
If you're ever in a mess, S.O.S.
If you ever get so happy you land in
jail
I'm your bail.
BOTH: It's friendship, friendship,
just the perfect blendship.
When other friendships have been
forgot
Ours will still be hot
La da-da-da-da da-da dig-dig-dig
A da-da-da-da da-da dig-dig-dig.
If you're ever up a tree
A-phone to me.
If you're ever down a well
Ring my bell.
If you ever lose your dough
When you're out to dine, borrow mine.
ALL: It's friendship, friendship,
just the perfect blendship...
(I Love Lucy theme music plays)
ANNOUNCER: The part of Caroline was
played by Doris Singleton.
Marian was Shirley Mitchell
and the other club woman was Ruth
Perrin.
I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same
time.
This is the CBS television network.
(all cooing)
Bye-bye.
Say bye-bye.
Say bye-bye.
ALL: Bye.
He's going to take his nap.
Bye.
Bye-bye.
Isn't he just growing?
I tell you, he's the image of his
father.
He's my godson, you know.
Just darling...
(cooing continues)
Well, let's get on with the meeting.
We have to wait for Lucy?
Well, she's the president.
Well, I'm the co-president.
I'll take over even though it isn't
my turn.
Then we won't waste any time, huh?
Yeah.
All right.
(all talking)
Well, did I miss anything?
Next thing on the agenda is...
Uh, I'll take over now, Ethel.
It's my turn to be president.
ETHEL: Hey, that's doing pretty good,
isn't it?
That's great.
(Lucy taps gavel)
Girls, girls.
The meeting will come to order.
Now, I would like to talk about the
club's yearly show.
I think we should schedule it for
sometime next week.
Next week?
But it's so close to the bazaar.
But it's only three months
since we had our last yearly show.
Yes, I know.
Now, if you'll all be quiet
I'll have Caroline tell you
the wonderful reason-- Caroline?
Well, as you all know,
my husband is the manager of a
television station,
and last night we were talking, and
he just happened to mention
that there was one half hour of time
that they hadn't been able to sell.
So I said to him,
"Charlie, how about letting our
women's club put on a show
during that half hour?"
And he said... well, never mind what
he said.
Well, anyway, after I talked to him
for a while,
he finally agreed that our club can
have the time.
(all exclaiming excitedly)
(tapping gavel)
Girls, girls, girls, let's be
businesslike about this now.
What time did he agree to give us,
Caroline?
Uh, next Monday from 12:00 to 12:30.
Oh, that's fine time.
That's right in the middle of the day
when everybody's home.
Yeah, well, everybody's home, all
right,
but it's not the middle of the day.
It's 12:00 midnight.
Midnight!
Oh, well, now, look-- what difference
does it make?
We have a whole half hour on
television.
Now, the important thing is to select
the chairman,
someone to be in charge of the whole
program.
Now, it's very important that we
select someone
who has a lot of talent, who makes a
good appearance,
someone who is in show business or at
least close to it
by having a husband, or someone like
that, you know,
who is in it.
You all agree with me, don't you?
(all talking at once)
Well, then the chair will have
nominations
for that important post.
The chair recognizes Marian Strong.
You're absolutely right, Madam
Chairman.
That's just the kind of a person we
need.
Well, it's the only logical way.
Now, as you all know, there is only
one of us here
who is really close to the theater.
I spent a number of years as an
actress...
brilliantly climaxing my career
by being mistress of ceremonies at
the Senior Shenanigans
of the Rappahannock School For Girls.
Need I say more?
Well, you certainly need not.
I didn't know you were professional.
(all talking excitedly)
Madam Co-President,
uh, at this point, may I ask you to
take over?
Why?
Well, it's not fair for me
to be president at this moment.
For what I have to say, I'd rather be
a civilian.
Now, do I hear any more nominations
for chairman of our show?
Lucy Ricardo.
Well, uh, dramatic experience is
fine,
but will the general public know
who Marian Strong is?
Well, you can tell them
at the beginning of the program, you
know.
The program would be over before we
could say
"Senior Shenanigans of the
Rappahannock School For Girls."
It would not!
Oh, girls.
Oh, it certainly would.
Girls!
You can't say...
Girls!
..."school for girls"
without your tongue getting twisted.
Lucy... Lucy, you have the floor.
Thank you very much.
Therefore, I think
that I should be the chairman.
Who knows who you are?
Nobody, and you hit it right on the
head.
What we need is a star name, and if I
am chosen chairman
I will guarantee to get Ricky Ricardo
as master of ceremonies.
Oh, Lucy, are you sure you could get
Ricky?
Oh, well, girls, girls,
in that case,
I'm sure that Marian will be
the first to agree
that Lucy should be in charge.
Of course.
Now, all those in favor of making
Lucy Ricardo chairman
of our yearly show on television, say
"aye."
SEVERAL VOICES: Aye.
The "ayes" have it.
Meeting adjourned, let's eat.
Oh, that's wonderful.
Ethel, will you help me?
(all chatting)
Don't forget the punchbowl.
Oh, Lucy, imagine us being on
television.
Isn't it wonderful?
Oh, boy.
And with Ricky as master of
ceremonies.
Good night.
Hey, what made him change his mind?
I thought he said he never would be
in another women's club production.
He did.
Well, then, how come he agreed to be
in this one?
He didn't yet.
Oh, Lucy, you just said you could get
Ricky
so you'd get to be the chairman.
Oh, what a sneaky thing to do.
If I am the chairman
the best parts in the show
are certain to go to you and me.
Oh, yeah.
Doesn't seem so sneaky now, does it?
Well...
(knock)
Come in.
Hi.
Hi, Fred.
Hi.
Hi, Fred.
Is this week's meeting
of the claw and cackle club over?
Never mind that now, Fred.
We're going to be on television.
Who is?
Our women's club.
Well, That ought to bring back
movies.
No kidding, Fred.
Caroline Appleby's husband said
that we could have a whole half hour
on his TV station next Monday night.
Oh, do you need any good talent?
What kind of a show are you going to
put on?
Uh...
A cooking show.
A panel show.
Oh, I get it.
Well, if you don't want me on your
show, I won't be in it.
Okay.
Okay.
On the other hand,
you're entitled to a...
to a little peek at the kind of
talent you're turning down.
Now, listen, Fred, Ricky's going to
be the only man in it.
All the rest are members of our
women's club.
When the red, red robin comes a-bob
bob bobbin' along, along
We should know better than to tell
him.
There'll be no more sobbin'
When he starts robbin' his own sweet
song
Wake up, wake up, wake up, you sleepy
head
Okay, Fred.
All right, Fred.
Get up, come on, come on, get out of
bed
Cheer up, cheer up...
Okay, you can be in it.
Cheer up, the sun is red
Fred, she said you can be in it.
Live, love, laugh and be happy
What if I were blue
I'll be walking through a field of
flowers
The rain will glisten, and I will
listen
BOTH: For hours and hours.
Oh, I'm just a kid again, doing what
I did again
Singing a song
When the red, red robin...
FRED: When the red, red robin
Comes bob, bob, bobbin' along...
He's still at it.
Come on, Ethel.
Let's figure out the routine for the
show.
Okay.
What'll we start with?
Well, Luann Hall
will want to play the piano.
Yeah.
And Jane Sebastian will want to do
her birdcalls.
Yeah.
She's all right.
I suppose Caroline will want to do
her impersonation of Bette Davis.
That isn't Bette Davis she
impersonates.
It's Lionel Barrymore.
It is?
Say...
you don't think we could get along
without Caroline, do you?
Her husband manages the station.
Who follows Caroline?
Rosalyn McKee will want to recite
"Trees."
Oh, she does that so beautifully.
Yeah, she does, she really does.
Let's see now, Ricky can sing a
couple of numbers
and then I'll do
the big closing number
and that's it.
I don't think I've left out anyone,
have I?
Can you think of anyone el...?
Oh, dear.
Well, thank you.
Oh, well, come now, dear.
We'll find a spot for you someplace.
Let's see here, Luann, Jane,
Caroline.
Well, you can't do the closing
number.
Why?
'Cause I'm doing it.
Why?
Well, I'm the president.
Well, I'm the co-president.
Well, I'm the chairman.
Well, I'm the one who knows how you
got to be chairman.
Well!
Oh, come on, now, Lucy,
seeing as we're co-presidents,
why don't we do a duet?
A duet?
Yeah, something like, uh...
that Cole Porter song, "Friendship."
Isn't that a wonderful idea?
Well, no.
That way I don't get to sing alone.
That's what makes it a wonderful
idea.
Now, cut it out, Ethel.
"Friendship"?
Uh-huh.
"Friendship," let's see,
is that the one that goes...
(hums)
(off-key): If you're ever up a tree
Call on me.
That's it.
Is that it?
Yeah, that's a wonderful number.
Listen, let's get some sheet music
and rehearse it.
Okay.
Here, help me move this table.
Where are you gonna put it?
Play with your toys, honey.
ETHEL: Lucy?
Yeah, I'm here, Ethel.
Hi, honey.
Ricky isn't home yet, huh?
No, not yet.
Lucy, I've been worrying.
About what?
Well, what if you can't talk him into
emceeing the show?
Don't worry, I've got my strategy all
planned.
What are you going to do, wheedle
him?
No, I've done that so much
my wheedle is all worn out.
And I'm not going to be lovey dovey
or cry or pout either.
What's left?
I'm going to use my head.
What are you going to do, beat him
with it?
No, I'm going to make Ricky ask
to be in that show.
How? Hypnotize him?
No, when Ricky comes home,
you and I are going to be talking
about the show,
and we'll be discussing who we're
going to get to emcee.
You watch, Ricky won't be able to
stand it.
We won't even mention him.
Oh, I don't know.
Well, I do.
Listen, Ethel, next to sugar,
Cuba's biggest export is ham.
RICKY: Honey, I'm home.
There it is.
Okay, dear, I'll be right there.
Now, Ethel, you remember, you follow
my lead.
We won't even mention Ricky.
We'll consider everyone but him.
Okay.
Hi, dear.
Hi. Oh, hi, Ethel.
Hello, Ricky.
Hi, honey.
Hi, honey.
Guess what happened at the club
meeting today.
I know I shouldn't ask, but what?
Well, Caroline Appleby's husband
said that we could have one whole
half hour
on his TV station next Monday night.
We're going to put on a review.
Yes?
And we were waiting for you to come
home
because we wanted to ask you
a very important question.
Yes...?
Should we wear formals?
Should you wear formals?
Yeah, Ethel and I have got a number
to do together,
and we don't know whether to wear
costumes or formals.
Oh, let's wear formals.
It'll give me an excuse to buy a new
one.
Okay. Formals it is.
Thanks anyway, Ricky.
Didn't need you after all.
Come on, Ethel.
Oh, say, wait a minute: what about
the emcee?
Yeah, what about the emcee?
Yeah, what about the emcee?
Well, you see, we need a master of
ceremonies
and it'd be great if it was someone
really wonderful, you know.
Gee, I can't think of a soul.
Can you think of anybody, Ethel?
Well, it'll be a great opportunity
for someone to be seen on television.
Sure will.
He'll be in front of the cameras
most of the time.
That's right.
Should be someone who makes a good
appearance.
A dark, handsome type.
It'd be great if he could play
a musical instrument and sing a song.
Yeah.
Let's see now, a dark, handsome type,
plays a musical instrument and sings
a song.
Well, there's only one person to ask.
Dan Jenkins.
Dan Jenkins?
Yeah, what's the matter with him?
Well, it's none of my business,
but this fella doesn't even have a
voice.
Well, he plays a musical instrument.
Sure, tissue paper and comb.
Well, if that's what you want, it's
okay with me.
Oh, well, honey, it isn't what we
want.
We don't want Dan Jenkins.
But, uh, you know
we'd like to have somebody like,
uh...
Well, somebody great
but we don't know anybody like that,
so what are we going to do?
Well, uh...
you haven't asked me.
You? Why, you said you'd never be
in another one of our shows.
Oh, I don't know.
I might be available if I was
approached correctly.
Oh, honey, now don't kid us about
this.
This is serious.
You're being mean.
No, I'm not.
I'm not kidding.
I'm serious.
I'll do it.
Really? What made you change your
mind?
I don't know, I just feel like it.
And that should teach you a lesson.
What should?
Well, you know, I can always tell
when you're trying to make me do
something,
when you, you know, when you trick me
into it.
Oh?
And I'll never do it
when you're trying to make me do it.
No.
But this is different, as you know.
Here you were in a spot,
and, uh... you respected my wishes
about not being in the show.
You didn't even ask.
No.
So I'm going to be big about it and
I'll help you out.
Oh, honey, you're wonderful.
Oh, that's so sweet.
Now you see how much farther you get
by just being honest?
Yes, dear, I've learned my lesson.
That's a good girl.
Ricky, we've been rehearsing our
number
and we want to do it with a piano.
Will you play for us?
Sure.
Well, I've got to have a ringside
seat for this.
Honey, help me move this down there.
All right.
Push it up toward the couch.
Okay.
Now you stand over there
and we'll make an entrance like this.
Right there?
Yeah.
Ricky, give us a-one, a-two.
Are you ready?
Uh-huh.
All right.
One, two.
(Ricky begins playing piano)
If you're ever in a jam, here I am.
If you're ever in a mess, S.O.S.
If you ever get so happy, you land in
jail
I'm your bail.
BOTH: It's friendship, friendship,
just the perfect blendship.
When other friendships have been
forgot
Ours will still be hot.
A da-da-da-da da-da dig-dig-dig
A da-da-da-da da-da dig-dig-dig
Isn't that funny?
If you're ever up a tree
A-phone to me.
If you're ever down a well
Ring my bell.
Okay.
If you ever lose your dough
When you're out to dine, borrow mine.
BOTH: It's friendship, friendship,
just the perfect blendship.
When other friendships have been
forgate
Ours will still be great.
A la-da-la-da la-da chuck-chuck-chuck
A la-da-la-da la-da
chuck-chuck-chuck.
If they ever a-black your eye
A-put me wise.
If they ever cook your goose
Turn me loose.
If they ever put a bullet
Right through your brain, I'll
complain.
BOTH: It's friendship, friendship,
just the perfect blendship.
When other friendships have been
forgit
Ours will still be it
A la-da-la-da la-da hep-hep-hep
Two, three.
A da-da-da-da da-da hep-hep-hep
Two, three.
A da-da-da-da da-da hep-hep-hep!
Ooh.
Did you like it?
Well, it's a little bit on the corny
side,
but I think it'll go, yeah.
What'd you think, Fred?
Well, it may even be worth
all the money you spent on your new
dress.
Oh, Ethel, you didn't tell me.
When did you get it?
Yesterday afternoon.
I got mine today.
Go get yours and I'll show you mine.
Okay.
(laughs)
Oh, what a pair, eh?
La-la la-la la-la la-la
BOTH: Hep-hep-hep.
Oh, they're demons all right.
I want you to see this.
I think this is the most beautiful
dress...
I never thought I'd own a dress like
this in my whole life.
When I saw it there, I just couldn't
stand it.
And I had such a wonderful
opportunity to buy it and everything.
I can only hope I'm looking in a
mirror.
Well, I'm sorry to say you're not.
Where did you get yours?
At Macy's.
Where did you get yours?
Gimbel's.
Imagine us getting the same dress
at two different stores.
Yeah, it sure is a funny coincidence.
Sure is.
Well, it's very amusing,
but what are we going to do about it?
Oh, well, there's only one thing to
do.
One of us will have to take her dress
back.
Yeah, one of us will have to.
Why take either one of them back?
Yeah, I think it's kind of cute.
You know you can do like a sister
act.
Yeah.
Oh, for heaven's sake,
you don't think we're going to go out
there
and do that number in the same dress,
do you?
Good grief, no.
Well, I'll make the sacrifice, Ethel.
I'll take mine back and get something
else.
Oh, no, I'll take mine back.
No, it's all right, Ethel.
I'll take mine back.
Oh, I couldn't let you do that,
honey.
I'll take mine back.
Well, somebody take something back.
Look, if it's going to create some
hard feelings,
why don't you both take them back?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.
Okay, I'll go for that.
Yeah, we'll both take them back.
All right.
Yeah.
Honey, I'll meet you down at the
television studio.
LUCY: Oh, no, now, wait for me,
honey.
I'm going with you.
Now, you just wait.
Lucy, isn't that the...
Yes, it is.
I got to thinking it was silly
for both of us to take our dresses
back.
As long as Ethel was taking hers
back,
there was no reason for me to take
mine back.
Well, there isn't.
I didn't say a word.
I'll go and get Mrs. Trumbull
to stay with Little Ricky.
Ricky?
What?
Do you think Ethel will be mad at me?
I wouldn't be surprised
if she punched you right in the nose.
Why do you say that?
It's perfectly logical.
Well, if she was going to take her
dress back,
there's no reason why I have to take
mine back.
Oh, for pete's sake, Ethel, aren't
you ready yet?
ETHEL: I'm coming, I'm coming.
Why, Ethel Louise Mertz.
Well, there wasn't any sense
in both of us taking our dresses
back.
If she was going to take her dress
back,
I couldn't see any reason for me to
take my dress back.
Well, one of us should have it.
It's such a pretty dress.
Come on, they're going to meet us
down there.
I'm not going to let her see me till
we do the number.
All right, all right.
RICKY: Now if I may, I'd like to do a
little number for you.
It's become quite popular in the last
couple of months.
Se llego el momento ya de separarnos
En silencio el corazon dice y
suspira...
Vaya con dios, mi vida
Vaya con dios, mi amor.
Las campanas de la iglesia suenan
tristes
Y parece que al sonar tambien te
dicen
Vaya con dios, mi vida
Vaya con dios, mi amor.
Adonde vayas tu ire contigo
En sueno siempre junto a ti estare
Mi voz escucharas, dulce amor mio
Y como yo estaras tambien a de
volver.
La alborada al despertar feliz te
espera
Si en mi corazon yo voy adonde quiera
Vaya con dios, mi vida
Vaya con dios, mi amor.
(applause)
Thank you, thank you, ladies, thank
you, gentlemen.
Thank you very much.
And now for the highlight of our
show,
we are very happy and proud to bring
to you the co-presidents
of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts
League,
Mrs. Ethel Mertz, Mrs. Lucy Ricardo,
in Cole Porter's great number
"Friendship."
Maestro.
(band begins)
Thought you said you were going to
take yours back.
Thought you said you were going to
take yours back.
You big stinker.
If you're ever in a jam, here I am.
If you're ever in a mess, S.O.S.
If you ever get so happy you land in
jail
I'm your bail.
BOTH: It's friendship, friendship,
just the perfect blendship.
When other friendships have been
forgot
Ours will still be hot
La da-da-da-da da-da dig-dig-dig
A da-da-da-da da-da dig-dig-dig.
If you're ever up a tree
A-phone to me.
If you're ever down a well
Ring my bell.
If you ever lose your dough
When you're out to dine, borrow mine.
ALL: It's friendship, friendship,
just the perfect blendship...
(I Love Lucy theme music plays)
ANNOUNCER: The part of Caroline was
played by Doris Singleton.
Marian was Shirley Mitchell
and the other club woman was Ruth
Perrin.
I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same
time.
This is the CBS television network.