I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 3, Episode 29 - Tennessee Ernie Hangs On - full transcript
Lucy pretends she and Ricky have gone broke to get Tennessee Ernie Ford to leave.
Lucy!
Yeah?
Oh, no.
Did you miss it?
I certainly did.
The baby left it
over at my house.
Well, thanks, honey.
Well, where's Cousin
Ernie, your star boarder?
Oh, he went to the zoo again.
He likes to look at those
animals, doesn't he?
Well, I think it's about 50-50.
Gee, I wish he had enough
money to go back to Tennessee.
Why don't you buy him a ticket?
Oh, we offered to, but
he wouldn't accept it.
Won't accept charity, you know.
If he keeps on eating
the way he does,
we're going to need charity.
Hi.
Oh, hi. Hi.
Hi, Ethel. Hi.
I got to go do my dishes.
Okay. Good luck.
Okay.
Good luck about what?
Getting rid of our star
boarder, Cousin Ernie.
Well, honey, your
worries are over.
By tomorrow afternoon,
somebody's going
to be on the way
to Bent Fork, Tennessee.
How come?
Well, just, uh...
get a load of this.
What is it?
This is a bus
ticket to Bent Fork.
He won't take it.
I know he won't, but I
have a plan that will work.
Oh, I get it.
We'll leave him here;
we'll go to Bent Fork.
No, no. He won't take it
because of his pride, right?
Right.
All right, so we
won't give it to him.
Suppose he finds it.
Oh...
Ah...
Now, where can I put this
so he'll be sure to find it?
In the refrigerator.
No, no.
Now, suppose that
somebody lost this ticket
in the hallway someplace,
you know, just, uh... like so.
Okay? Yeah.
And then we ask Ernie
to go over to the Mertzes
and get something for us.
So, he goes down the hall...
Ah!
A ticket.
To Bent Fork!
He can't miss it.
Pretty clever, huh?
Well, it finally happened.
What has?
After 13 years of marriage,
you're beginning
to think like me.
Please.
Hi, Cousin Ricky.
Hi.
Hi, Cousin Lucy.
Hi. Hi.
Did you have fun at the zoo?
Yeah, I sure did.
You know, while I was down
there, I seen a friend of mine.
Oh? Which cage was he in?
Cousin Lucy, you are
a caution to the jaybirds.
And, you know, this fella's
name was Lester Byck,
and I run over there
to try to talk to him
and he just disappeared
into the crowd somewhere.
Say, Ernie, Ernie... Yeah.
Would you do me a favor
and go over to Fred Mertz
and ask him if he would
lend me the sports section?
Why, sure, sure.
What's the spore session?
Uh, that is the sports
section in the newspaper.
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. All right.
Wait a minute.
I seen that around here
somewhere this morning.
Wait a minute.
It's right over here...
Here it is right here.
There you are.
There.
Thank you.
Uh, Ernie, would you ask Ethel
if I could borrow her,
uh, potato masher?
No sooner said than did.
Thank you, Ernie. Okay.
All righty.
Thanks.
Well, I'll be
jump-jumpin' ding dang!
He found it.
Where did he go?
I don't know.
That's funny.
He's not there.
Where could he have gone?
You don't suppose
he got so excited,
he ran down and
jumped on the bus?
Not without asking me
to pack him a lunch first.
Hey, I hear him coming.
Cock your pistol
'cause you ain't gonna
to believe this nohow.
What happened,
Ernie? What happened?
I's going down the hall,
and right there on the carpet,
ju-just as plain as
the nose on your face,
was a bus ticket,
and do you know whar it was to?
Whar?
Bent Fork!
All the way thar?
Yes, sirree, Bob.
Ain't that a coinkidinky?
Well, imagine, a bus
ticket to Bent Fork!
Imagine that. I bet it made
you happy finding it, huh?
Yeah, it did at first, but...
I got to thinking of the
poor critter that lost it.
I said to myself,
somewhere, somebody
ain't a-goin' to Bent Fork.
Ernie, where is the ticket?
Yeah, where's the ticket, Ernie?
Well, that's the
best part of it.
I run down on the street,
and the very first fella I seen
was the fella
that lost the ticket.
You mean you...?
Yup. There he was in
a old, poor, raggedy suit
and he looked so poorly
and I could tell he could
ill afford such a loss.
My, the tears of joy
run down his face
when I give him his ticket.
Ain't it wonderful how a
story like that turns out?
Why, looky there.
Cousin Ricky's got tears of joy
running down his face now.
Yes, well, would it be
possible for you to pick it up
and fix it and get it back
before my husband
gets home tonight?
Well, I'd certainly
appreciate it.
Thank you very much.
Lucy, did you hear that
explosion a few minutes ago?
Indeed I did. It came
from our living room.
It did?! What happened?
Well, cock your pistol, Ethel.
You're not gonna believe this.
Did you ever watch
Millikan's Chicken-Mash
Hour on television?
No.
Well, there's a man
named Lester Byck
who is master of ceremonies
on Millikan's Chicken-Mash Hour
and he also comes from
Bent Fork, Tennessee.
Yeah, well, go on.
What happened?
Well, Ernie was
watching television,
Lester Byck came on
and Ernie jumped
up and hollered,
"Well, I'll be ding-danged
if it ain't Cousin Lester!
Hiya, Cousin Lester!"
And he ran over and
clapped him on the back...
On the tube, I should say.
No.
Yes, and the whole set exploded.
Oh, my goodness.
You are just in time
to help me clean up.
Come, girl.
Oh, Lucy!
Oh, my goodness.
Well, how's Cousin
Ernie? Is he hurt?
Don't be silly.
He's on his way down
to the television station
to tell Cousin Lester he's
sorry he hit him so hard.
Now, that boy has got to go.
There must be some
way to get rid of him.
Oh, if he just
wasn't so darn nice...
As much as I want
to get rid of him,
I-I just couldn't hurt him.
Oh...
Why don't you get him a job?
Oh, we thought of that, but
there's only one thing he can do
and there's not much demand
for a professional eater.
By the time I get
that set paid for,
I'm not going to be able
to keep him in groceries.
The food that that boy
can put away, honestly...
Hey, that ought to do it!
What?
I have a notion
that when the food
goes, so will Cousin Ernie.
Of course!
I'll tell him we're broke. Yeah.
I'll, I'll tell him that
Ricky lost his job.
Yeah!
Will you help me? Sure!
Listen, here's what I
want Fred and you to do.
♪ From the great Atlantic
Ocean to the wide Pacific shore ♪
♪ To the green old
flowin' mountains ♪
♪ To the south
bell by the moor ♪
♪ She's mighty tall
and handsome ♪
♪ She's known
quite well by all ♪
♪ She's a combination called
the Wabash Cannonball ♪
♪ Listen to the jingle, the
rumble and the roar... ♪
Cousin Lucy!
Yup!
Is breakfast about ready?
Cousin Lucy, them
clothes you're a-wearin'...
Oh, you noticed them.
I couldn't help it.
That sweater...
You remind me of my grandma.
Oh.
Uh, Ernie, about breakfast...
Is it ready?
Um... look, Ernie,
you know you're welcome to
anything we've got, but, uh...
Come in the kitchen.
Somebody around here
has been acting a hog.
No, it's worse than
that, Ernie. Sit down.
There's your
breakfast and lunch.
Breakfast and lunch?
Chew it slowly.
It'll last longer.
Go ahead. It ain't bad.
Will you see who's
at the door, Ernie?
Uh-huh.
Hello, Ernie. Is Lucy home?
Yeah, yeah.
Cousin Lucy!
Hello.
Company's dropped in!
Hello, Ethel.
You poor little thing.
We brought you some food.
Oh! Thank you.
Thank you!
It's all right.
Bread. Flour. Milk.
You saved my baby's life.
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
And I brought you an
old dress of mine, darling.
Oh, you're so good to me.
Oh, it's beautiful!
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
Well, it's the
least we could do,
considering we got to kick
you out of your apartment.
We hate to do it,
but you're six months
behind on the rent
and since we I know,
heard that... please, please,
Let's not talk in
front of company.
Cousin Ernie doesn't know
that Ricky lost his j-o-b.
Now, darling, you know
you can count on us for help.
I know.
You're real, true friends.
Thank you.
Come, Fred.
Yeah.
Bye. Bye.
Ah... Cousin Lucy...
Yes, Cousin Ernie?
I don't want to be
a nosey Parker,
and, uh, I don't
understand this j-o-b,
but I think there's something
wrong around here.
Whatever makes you think that?
You've got to get up
pretty early in the morning
to fool old Ernie.
I think there's a
polecat in the henhouse.
Well, I guess we can't
keep it from you any longer.
You're right, Ernie.
Something is wrong.
Mighty wrong.
Mighty wrong.
We're broke.
Ricky's lost his job.
We're penniless.
Now, now, now, Cousin Lucy,
don't you go and
take on like that.
Now, now, now, now, now.
Oh, I don't mind for myself.
I don't mind not
having anything to eat,
not having anyplace to live,
but the bitterest pill of all
is not being able to afford
you with us anymore.
Oh, what the hen feathers.
That's nothing to cry about.
Look, I'll just hightail it
right on back to Bent Fork.
Well, maybe that
would be best, Ernie.
Well, I'll go pack
my other shirt.
Mama always said I had
a lot of get-up-and-go,
so I'll just get up and go.
Lucy?
Yeah?
Hi.
Hasn't he gone yet?
Sure. He left an hour ago
with his suitcase in his hand,
his hat on his head
and a lump in his throat.
Why are you still
in those clothes?
Oh, I just wanted
Ricky to see how I look.
Oh.
Well, then you won't need
our rollaway bed anymore.
No, I won't, Fred.
Thank you very much.
Let's get it out
of her way. Yeah.
I'd appreciate it. It's
a might handy thing
to have around,
though, I can tell you that.
Here we go.
Okay.
Ernie!
Yep, it's me. Cousin
Fred, you might as well
put that runaway bed
back where you got it.
I'm a-stayin'.
But, Ernie, I told
you, we're broke.
They're wiped out.
I know it. That's
why I'm a-stayin'.
Cousin Lucy, I ain't a-leavin'
you in your time of need.
I got as fer as the corner
and I stopped dead in my tracks.
It hit me like a Hickory Ball.
I said to myself "You're a
rat a-leavin' a sinking ship."
Oh, now, Ernie, you
shouldn't feel like that.
You just go on
home. We'll manage.
Sure. We'll help 'em.
You can keep the
apartment for another month.
You can go ahead home.
Yeah.
Now you all hush up.
I stayed with you while you
was eatin' high on the hog
and I'm gonna stick to you
while you're down
around the hocks.
Oh, Ernie, really, if I could...
Hi. BOTH: Hi, Rick.
Hi, Cousin!
Hi, amigo.
What's the matter with you?
Uh, I-I-I was just telling
Ernie how we were broke
and we couldn't afford to
keep him here any longer
and-and the reason
that we were...
What do you mean, "broke"?
Now, don't you
go puttin' on none
for me there, Cousin Ricky.
Cousin Lucy told me
all about you losing your j-o-b.
What?!
That's right.
And-and now's when
you need a real friend,
and I ain't the only
friend you've got neither.
What do you mean, Ernie?
Well, so on the
way back up here,
I stopped down at
the grocery store,
and the fella there
was that amazed
when I told him you'd
been picked cleaner
than a hound's tooth.
You told the grocery
man that we were broke?
Yep, and look what he give me.
Oh, scoot over there.
This is just gonna
tickle you to death.
Oh, I'll tell you,
he's the nicest fella.
Here, now, there's
some day-old bread.
Here's some of the canned goods
that, uh, that lost the
labels off them, you know.
Uh... Ernie, the
Ricardos don't, uh...
They don't want anybody
to know they're broke.
Aah! I never took no stock
in foolish pride.
Now, down home, when
folks got into trouble,
the neighbors all
pitched in and helped,
and I'm happy to report
that your neighbors
here in New York
are just as friendly as
they are in Tennessee.
Why do you say that, Ernie?
I took up a collection
of all your neighbors
here in this apartment.
Oh, no.
Oh, yeah.
And look-it here.
We didn't do bad, neither.
Look-it there.
Isn't that wonderful?
You know, when
folks get hard up,
it's just wonderful
how people...
Hi.
Hi. How'd everything go?
All right. How's the baby?
Haven't heard a peep out of him.
Ricky come back yet?
No.
I have never seen him so mad.
Neither have I.
He just started to shake
and walked out of the door.
He didn't say a word
to you, I wonder why.
He was afraid.
Afraid of what?
Afraid he might kill me.
Where's Ernie?
I don't know. He just said,
"I got an idea," and left.
Well, everybody
took their money back
and I got 42 cents left over.
Ah!
I'll bet that belonged to Ernie.
That's all the money
he had left in the world.
Aw...
Oh, dear.
If I wasn't so sick and
tired of him, I-I'd like him.
Well, how are you
gonna get rid of him now?
I'm not even gonna try.
I give up.
Oh, Lucy, he'll
stay here forever.
Well, we'll get used to
him through the years.
Who knows? Someday
we may even adopt him.
Oh...
I got to go put my roast on.
If you need any help
when Ricky comes, just yell.
All right, dear.
Here comes Ricky.
Hi.
Hi, Ethel.
Is that a smile?
Yeah.
Oh.
Well, you know, I got
to thinking about it, and...
I just can't get
mad at that guy.
That's right, honey.
Sure.
He is so sweet and so nice.
Yeah. Yeah.
Imagine him taking
up a collection for us.
How about that?
Well, honey, I guess
we'll just have to figure out
a way to get rid of him
without hurting his feelings.
That's right, honey.
I just can't do it.
No.
Cousin Lucy! Cousin Lucy!
Here comes my oldest boy.
Cousin Lucy, your
troubles is all over.
We'uns is a-going on
Millikan's Chicken-Mash Hour.
Who is "we'uns"?
Well, me and you
and Cousin Ricky
and Cousin Ethel
and Cousin Fred.
Now, wait. Just, just count
me'uns out of you all's we'uns.
Well, now, don't say
the preserves is spoilt
till you've took
the lid off the jar.
What's he mean by that?
I don't know, but
keep the lid on that jar.
But can't you see that
this fixes everything?
They'll pay $200
for one appearance
of Ernest Ford and his
four hot chicken pickers.
"Hot chicken pickers"?
Yeah. Oh, no, no, no.
Look, Ernie, Ernie.
Really, we don't need the
money. Really, we don't.
Now, as the whale said
when he seen Jonah
standing on the bank,
"I ain't a-swallerin' that."
Look, Ernie, that's...
It's, it's, it's
very nice of you,
but we-we ain't the, uh,
hot chicken pickin' type.
Then I guess I'll never
get back to Bent Fork.
Why not?
Well, you see, with that $200,
that'll pay my bus
fare back to Bent Fork.
Then I'll have about 175 left
and that ought to do you all
about, oh, six months or so.
But... if you don't
cotton to the idea,
I reckon I'll just have
to set around here
till I think of
something better.
Ernie...
Hmm?
You mean if we, if we go on
this television show with you,
you... you'll be able to
go back to Bent Fork?
Right after the last
twang of the guitar,
I'll be a-headin' home
quicker than a bobcat
with a burr under his tail.
Ricky, what do you say?
Bring on the hot chickens
and let's start pickin'.
And now, friends and neighbors,
Millikan's Chicken-Mash
Hour is proud to present
for the first time
on television,
a group that come clean
from Bent Fork, Tennessee,
Ernie Ford and his
four hot chicken pickers!
There they are!
A-one, a-two, three, four.
♪ When you live in the country ♪
♪ Everybody is your neighbor ♪
♪ On this one
thing you can rely ♪
Slap my thigh!
♪ They all come to see you ♪
♪ And they never leave you ♪
♪ Saying, "Y'all come
to see us by and by" ♪
♪ By and by ♪
♪ By and by ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Oh, you all come and
see us when you can ♪
It's for free!
♪ Y'all come ♪
Bring the pig!
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Ah-ha ♪
♪ Oh, you'll all come
and see us now and then ♪
♪ Openhanded,
headed down south ♪
♪ Get a little moonshine
in your mouth ♪
♪ Chicken in a bread
pan peckin' out dough ♪
♪ Come on, boy, don't be slow ♪
♪ Grab your partner,
pat her on the head ♪
♪ If she don't like biscuits,
feed her cornbread ♪
♪ Hook to her belly there and
hook through her bracelet ♪
♪ Come on boy,
we're goin' places ♪
♪ Ah-ha ♪
♪ Ah-ha ♪
A-one, a-two, three, four.
♪ Kinfolks are a-comin' ♪
♪ They're comin' by the dozen ♪
♪ Eating everything
from soup to hay ♪
Hi, Cousin! Hi!
♪ Hang out after dinner there,
and you don't get any thinner ♪
♪ And here's what
you hear them say ♪
♪ Hear them say ♪
♪ Hear them say ♪
♪ Hear them say ♪
♪ Hear them say ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
Bring the kids!
♪ Y'all come ♪
Land o' Goshen!
♪ Oh, you all come and
see us when you can ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
Bring the pig!
♪ Y'all come ♪
Here, kitty, kitty!
♪ Oh, you all come to
see us now and then ♪
♪ Jim and June and Uncle Andy ♪
♪ Cousin Pete and Aunt Mirandy ♪
♪ All the cows and
chickens miss you, too ♪
♪ Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum ♪
♪ Jim and June
can sip some cider ♪
♪ Ma and Pa can
ride the glider ♪
♪ Cousin Rick can
yodel "babaloo" ♪
♪ Babaloo ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Babaloo ♪
♪ Oh, you all come and
see us when you can ♪
♪ Oh, babaloo ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Oh, you all come and
see us now and then ♪
♪ You all come and
see us now and then ♪
♪ Ah-ha ♪
♪ Ah-ha ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
Lester Byck was
played by Dick Reeves
and Ernie was
played by Ernie Ford.
I Love Lucy is a
Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next
week at this same time.
Yeah?
Oh, no.
Did you miss it?
I certainly did.
The baby left it
over at my house.
Well, thanks, honey.
Well, where's Cousin
Ernie, your star boarder?
Oh, he went to the zoo again.
He likes to look at those
animals, doesn't he?
Well, I think it's about 50-50.
Gee, I wish he had enough
money to go back to Tennessee.
Why don't you buy him a ticket?
Oh, we offered to, but
he wouldn't accept it.
Won't accept charity, you know.
If he keeps on eating
the way he does,
we're going to need charity.
Hi.
Oh, hi. Hi.
Hi, Ethel. Hi.
I got to go do my dishes.
Okay. Good luck.
Okay.
Good luck about what?
Getting rid of our star
boarder, Cousin Ernie.
Well, honey, your
worries are over.
By tomorrow afternoon,
somebody's going
to be on the way
to Bent Fork, Tennessee.
How come?
Well, just, uh...
get a load of this.
What is it?
This is a bus
ticket to Bent Fork.
He won't take it.
I know he won't, but I
have a plan that will work.
Oh, I get it.
We'll leave him here;
we'll go to Bent Fork.
No, no. He won't take it
because of his pride, right?
Right.
All right, so we
won't give it to him.
Suppose he finds it.
Oh...
Ah...
Now, where can I put this
so he'll be sure to find it?
In the refrigerator.
No, no.
Now, suppose that
somebody lost this ticket
in the hallway someplace,
you know, just, uh... like so.
Okay? Yeah.
And then we ask Ernie
to go over to the Mertzes
and get something for us.
So, he goes down the hall...
Ah!
A ticket.
To Bent Fork!
He can't miss it.
Pretty clever, huh?
Well, it finally happened.
What has?
After 13 years of marriage,
you're beginning
to think like me.
Please.
Hi, Cousin Ricky.
Hi.
Hi, Cousin Lucy.
Hi. Hi.
Did you have fun at the zoo?
Yeah, I sure did.
You know, while I was down
there, I seen a friend of mine.
Oh? Which cage was he in?
Cousin Lucy, you are
a caution to the jaybirds.
And, you know, this fella's
name was Lester Byck,
and I run over there
to try to talk to him
and he just disappeared
into the crowd somewhere.
Say, Ernie, Ernie... Yeah.
Would you do me a favor
and go over to Fred Mertz
and ask him if he would
lend me the sports section?
Why, sure, sure.
What's the spore session?
Uh, that is the sports
section in the newspaper.
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. All right.
Wait a minute.
I seen that around here
somewhere this morning.
Wait a minute.
It's right over here...
Here it is right here.
There you are.
There.
Thank you.
Uh, Ernie, would you ask Ethel
if I could borrow her,
uh, potato masher?
No sooner said than did.
Thank you, Ernie. Okay.
All righty.
Thanks.
Well, I'll be
jump-jumpin' ding dang!
He found it.
Where did he go?
I don't know.
That's funny.
He's not there.
Where could he have gone?
You don't suppose
he got so excited,
he ran down and
jumped on the bus?
Not without asking me
to pack him a lunch first.
Hey, I hear him coming.
Cock your pistol
'cause you ain't gonna
to believe this nohow.
What happened,
Ernie? What happened?
I's going down the hall,
and right there on the carpet,
ju-just as plain as
the nose on your face,
was a bus ticket,
and do you know whar it was to?
Whar?
Bent Fork!
All the way thar?
Yes, sirree, Bob.
Ain't that a coinkidinky?
Well, imagine, a bus
ticket to Bent Fork!
Imagine that. I bet it made
you happy finding it, huh?
Yeah, it did at first, but...
I got to thinking of the
poor critter that lost it.
I said to myself,
somewhere, somebody
ain't a-goin' to Bent Fork.
Ernie, where is the ticket?
Yeah, where's the ticket, Ernie?
Well, that's the
best part of it.
I run down on the street,
and the very first fella I seen
was the fella
that lost the ticket.
You mean you...?
Yup. There he was in
a old, poor, raggedy suit
and he looked so poorly
and I could tell he could
ill afford such a loss.
My, the tears of joy
run down his face
when I give him his ticket.
Ain't it wonderful how a
story like that turns out?
Why, looky there.
Cousin Ricky's got tears of joy
running down his face now.
Yes, well, would it be
possible for you to pick it up
and fix it and get it back
before my husband
gets home tonight?
Well, I'd certainly
appreciate it.
Thank you very much.
Lucy, did you hear that
explosion a few minutes ago?
Indeed I did. It came
from our living room.
It did?! What happened?
Well, cock your pistol, Ethel.
You're not gonna believe this.
Did you ever watch
Millikan's Chicken-Mash
Hour on television?
No.
Well, there's a man
named Lester Byck
who is master of ceremonies
on Millikan's Chicken-Mash Hour
and he also comes from
Bent Fork, Tennessee.
Yeah, well, go on.
What happened?
Well, Ernie was
watching television,
Lester Byck came on
and Ernie jumped
up and hollered,
"Well, I'll be ding-danged
if it ain't Cousin Lester!
Hiya, Cousin Lester!"
And he ran over and
clapped him on the back...
On the tube, I should say.
No.
Yes, and the whole set exploded.
Oh, my goodness.
You are just in time
to help me clean up.
Come, girl.
Oh, Lucy!
Oh, my goodness.
Well, how's Cousin
Ernie? Is he hurt?
Don't be silly.
He's on his way down
to the television station
to tell Cousin Lester he's
sorry he hit him so hard.
Now, that boy has got to go.
There must be some
way to get rid of him.
Oh, if he just
wasn't so darn nice...
As much as I want
to get rid of him,
I-I just couldn't hurt him.
Oh...
Why don't you get him a job?
Oh, we thought of that, but
there's only one thing he can do
and there's not much demand
for a professional eater.
By the time I get
that set paid for,
I'm not going to be able
to keep him in groceries.
The food that that boy
can put away, honestly...
Hey, that ought to do it!
What?
I have a notion
that when the food
goes, so will Cousin Ernie.
Of course!
I'll tell him we're broke. Yeah.
I'll, I'll tell him that
Ricky lost his job.
Yeah!
Will you help me? Sure!
Listen, here's what I
want Fred and you to do.
♪ From the great Atlantic
Ocean to the wide Pacific shore ♪
♪ To the green old
flowin' mountains ♪
♪ To the south
bell by the moor ♪
♪ She's mighty tall
and handsome ♪
♪ She's known
quite well by all ♪
♪ She's a combination called
the Wabash Cannonball ♪
♪ Listen to the jingle, the
rumble and the roar... ♪
Cousin Lucy!
Yup!
Is breakfast about ready?
Cousin Lucy, them
clothes you're a-wearin'...
Oh, you noticed them.
I couldn't help it.
That sweater...
You remind me of my grandma.
Oh.
Uh, Ernie, about breakfast...
Is it ready?
Um... look, Ernie,
you know you're welcome to
anything we've got, but, uh...
Come in the kitchen.
Somebody around here
has been acting a hog.
No, it's worse than
that, Ernie. Sit down.
There's your
breakfast and lunch.
Breakfast and lunch?
Chew it slowly.
It'll last longer.
Go ahead. It ain't bad.
Will you see who's
at the door, Ernie?
Uh-huh.
Hello, Ernie. Is Lucy home?
Yeah, yeah.
Cousin Lucy!
Hello.
Company's dropped in!
Hello, Ethel.
You poor little thing.
We brought you some food.
Oh! Thank you.
Thank you!
It's all right.
Bread. Flour. Milk.
You saved my baby's life.
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
And I brought you an
old dress of mine, darling.
Oh, you're so good to me.
Oh, it's beautiful!
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
Well, it's the
least we could do,
considering we got to kick
you out of your apartment.
We hate to do it,
but you're six months
behind on the rent
and since we I know,
heard that... please, please,
Let's not talk in
front of company.
Cousin Ernie doesn't know
that Ricky lost his j-o-b.
Now, darling, you know
you can count on us for help.
I know.
You're real, true friends.
Thank you.
Come, Fred.
Yeah.
Bye. Bye.
Ah... Cousin Lucy...
Yes, Cousin Ernie?
I don't want to be
a nosey Parker,
and, uh, I don't
understand this j-o-b,
but I think there's something
wrong around here.
Whatever makes you think that?
You've got to get up
pretty early in the morning
to fool old Ernie.
I think there's a
polecat in the henhouse.
Well, I guess we can't
keep it from you any longer.
You're right, Ernie.
Something is wrong.
Mighty wrong.
Mighty wrong.
We're broke.
Ricky's lost his job.
We're penniless.
Now, now, now, Cousin Lucy,
don't you go and
take on like that.
Now, now, now, now, now.
Oh, I don't mind for myself.
I don't mind not
having anything to eat,
not having anyplace to live,
but the bitterest pill of all
is not being able to afford
you with us anymore.
Oh, what the hen feathers.
That's nothing to cry about.
Look, I'll just hightail it
right on back to Bent Fork.
Well, maybe that
would be best, Ernie.
Well, I'll go pack
my other shirt.
Mama always said I had
a lot of get-up-and-go,
so I'll just get up and go.
Lucy?
Yeah?
Hi.
Hasn't he gone yet?
Sure. He left an hour ago
with his suitcase in his hand,
his hat on his head
and a lump in his throat.
Why are you still
in those clothes?
Oh, I just wanted
Ricky to see how I look.
Oh.
Well, then you won't need
our rollaway bed anymore.
No, I won't, Fred.
Thank you very much.
Let's get it out
of her way. Yeah.
I'd appreciate it. It's
a might handy thing
to have around,
though, I can tell you that.
Here we go.
Okay.
Ernie!
Yep, it's me. Cousin
Fred, you might as well
put that runaway bed
back where you got it.
I'm a-stayin'.
But, Ernie, I told
you, we're broke.
They're wiped out.
I know it. That's
why I'm a-stayin'.
Cousin Lucy, I ain't a-leavin'
you in your time of need.
I got as fer as the corner
and I stopped dead in my tracks.
It hit me like a Hickory Ball.
I said to myself "You're a
rat a-leavin' a sinking ship."
Oh, now, Ernie, you
shouldn't feel like that.
You just go on
home. We'll manage.
Sure. We'll help 'em.
You can keep the
apartment for another month.
You can go ahead home.
Yeah.
Now you all hush up.
I stayed with you while you
was eatin' high on the hog
and I'm gonna stick to you
while you're down
around the hocks.
Oh, Ernie, really, if I could...
Hi. BOTH: Hi, Rick.
Hi, Cousin!
Hi, amigo.
What's the matter with you?
Uh, I-I-I was just telling
Ernie how we were broke
and we couldn't afford to
keep him here any longer
and-and the reason
that we were...
What do you mean, "broke"?
Now, don't you
go puttin' on none
for me there, Cousin Ricky.
Cousin Lucy told me
all about you losing your j-o-b.
What?!
That's right.
And-and now's when
you need a real friend,
and I ain't the only
friend you've got neither.
What do you mean, Ernie?
Well, so on the
way back up here,
I stopped down at
the grocery store,
and the fella there
was that amazed
when I told him you'd
been picked cleaner
than a hound's tooth.
You told the grocery
man that we were broke?
Yep, and look what he give me.
Oh, scoot over there.
This is just gonna
tickle you to death.
Oh, I'll tell you,
he's the nicest fella.
Here, now, there's
some day-old bread.
Here's some of the canned goods
that, uh, that lost the
labels off them, you know.
Uh... Ernie, the
Ricardos don't, uh...
They don't want anybody
to know they're broke.
Aah! I never took no stock
in foolish pride.
Now, down home, when
folks got into trouble,
the neighbors all
pitched in and helped,
and I'm happy to report
that your neighbors
here in New York
are just as friendly as
they are in Tennessee.
Why do you say that, Ernie?
I took up a collection
of all your neighbors
here in this apartment.
Oh, no.
Oh, yeah.
And look-it here.
We didn't do bad, neither.
Look-it there.
Isn't that wonderful?
You know, when
folks get hard up,
it's just wonderful
how people...
Hi.
Hi. How'd everything go?
All right. How's the baby?
Haven't heard a peep out of him.
Ricky come back yet?
No.
I have never seen him so mad.
Neither have I.
He just started to shake
and walked out of the door.
He didn't say a word
to you, I wonder why.
He was afraid.
Afraid of what?
Afraid he might kill me.
Where's Ernie?
I don't know. He just said,
"I got an idea," and left.
Well, everybody
took their money back
and I got 42 cents left over.
Ah!
I'll bet that belonged to Ernie.
That's all the money
he had left in the world.
Aw...
Oh, dear.
If I wasn't so sick and
tired of him, I-I'd like him.
Well, how are you
gonna get rid of him now?
I'm not even gonna try.
I give up.
Oh, Lucy, he'll
stay here forever.
Well, we'll get used to
him through the years.
Who knows? Someday
we may even adopt him.
Oh...
I got to go put my roast on.
If you need any help
when Ricky comes, just yell.
All right, dear.
Here comes Ricky.
Hi.
Hi, Ethel.
Is that a smile?
Yeah.
Oh.
Well, you know, I got
to thinking about it, and...
I just can't get
mad at that guy.
That's right, honey.
Sure.
He is so sweet and so nice.
Yeah. Yeah.
Imagine him taking
up a collection for us.
How about that?
Well, honey, I guess
we'll just have to figure out
a way to get rid of him
without hurting his feelings.
That's right, honey.
I just can't do it.
No.
Cousin Lucy! Cousin Lucy!
Here comes my oldest boy.
Cousin Lucy, your
troubles is all over.
We'uns is a-going on
Millikan's Chicken-Mash Hour.
Who is "we'uns"?
Well, me and you
and Cousin Ricky
and Cousin Ethel
and Cousin Fred.
Now, wait. Just, just count
me'uns out of you all's we'uns.
Well, now, don't say
the preserves is spoilt
till you've took
the lid off the jar.
What's he mean by that?
I don't know, but
keep the lid on that jar.
But can't you see that
this fixes everything?
They'll pay $200
for one appearance
of Ernest Ford and his
four hot chicken pickers.
"Hot chicken pickers"?
Yeah. Oh, no, no, no.
Look, Ernie, Ernie.
Really, we don't need the
money. Really, we don't.
Now, as the whale said
when he seen Jonah
standing on the bank,
"I ain't a-swallerin' that."
Look, Ernie, that's...
It's, it's, it's
very nice of you,
but we-we ain't the, uh,
hot chicken pickin' type.
Then I guess I'll never
get back to Bent Fork.
Why not?
Well, you see, with that $200,
that'll pay my bus
fare back to Bent Fork.
Then I'll have about 175 left
and that ought to do you all
about, oh, six months or so.
But... if you don't
cotton to the idea,
I reckon I'll just have
to set around here
till I think of
something better.
Ernie...
Hmm?
You mean if we, if we go on
this television show with you,
you... you'll be able to
go back to Bent Fork?
Right after the last
twang of the guitar,
I'll be a-headin' home
quicker than a bobcat
with a burr under his tail.
Ricky, what do you say?
Bring on the hot chickens
and let's start pickin'.
And now, friends and neighbors,
Millikan's Chicken-Mash
Hour is proud to present
for the first time
on television,
a group that come clean
from Bent Fork, Tennessee,
Ernie Ford and his
four hot chicken pickers!
There they are!
A-one, a-two, three, four.
♪ When you live in the country ♪
♪ Everybody is your neighbor ♪
♪ On this one
thing you can rely ♪
Slap my thigh!
♪ They all come to see you ♪
♪ And they never leave you ♪
♪ Saying, "Y'all come
to see us by and by" ♪
♪ By and by ♪
♪ By and by ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Oh, you all come and
see us when you can ♪
It's for free!
♪ Y'all come ♪
Bring the pig!
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Ah-ha ♪
♪ Oh, you'll all come
and see us now and then ♪
♪ Openhanded,
headed down south ♪
♪ Get a little moonshine
in your mouth ♪
♪ Chicken in a bread
pan peckin' out dough ♪
♪ Come on, boy, don't be slow ♪
♪ Grab your partner,
pat her on the head ♪
♪ If she don't like biscuits,
feed her cornbread ♪
♪ Hook to her belly there and
hook through her bracelet ♪
♪ Come on boy,
we're goin' places ♪
♪ Ah-ha ♪
♪ Ah-ha ♪
A-one, a-two, three, four.
♪ Kinfolks are a-comin' ♪
♪ They're comin' by the dozen ♪
♪ Eating everything
from soup to hay ♪
Hi, Cousin! Hi!
♪ Hang out after dinner there,
and you don't get any thinner ♪
♪ And here's what
you hear them say ♪
♪ Hear them say ♪
♪ Hear them say ♪
♪ Hear them say ♪
♪ Hear them say ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
Bring the kids!
♪ Y'all come ♪
Land o' Goshen!
♪ Oh, you all come and
see us when you can ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
Bring the pig!
♪ Y'all come ♪
Here, kitty, kitty!
♪ Oh, you all come to
see us now and then ♪
♪ Jim and June and Uncle Andy ♪
♪ Cousin Pete and Aunt Mirandy ♪
♪ All the cows and
chickens miss you, too ♪
♪ Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum ♪
♪ Jim and June
can sip some cider ♪
♪ Ma and Pa can
ride the glider ♪
♪ Cousin Rick can
yodel "babaloo" ♪
♪ Babaloo ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Babaloo ♪
♪ Oh, you all come and
see us when you can ♪
♪ Oh, babaloo ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Y'all come ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Oh, you all come and
see us now and then ♪
♪ You all come and
see us now and then ♪
♪ Ah-ha ♪
♪ Ah-ha ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
Lester Byck was
played by Dick Reeves
and Ernie was
played by Ernie Ford.
I Love Lucy is a
Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next
week at this same time.