I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 3, Episode 20 - Home Movies - full transcript
When an advertiser agrees to make a pilot for a potential music TV show starring Ricky only, Lucy, Ethel, and Fred make a movie of their own.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
Ethel, I thought we were going over
to the Ricardos' tonight.
ETHEL: We are. I'm ready.
All right.
Come on.
You'd better take your glasses with
you.
What for? I know what Lucy and Ricky
look like.
Suppose Ricky wants to show us his
home movies again.
He wouldn't dare.
He's been showing them to us every
night.
Well, after all, it's his first movie
camera
and the first pictures he's got of
the baby.
Well, count me out.
If I want to see old movies,
I can stay home and watch television.
Well, what can we do?
I'll tell you what we'll have to do.
Don't let the conversation lag.
Don't even give them a chance
to suggest showing the movies.
Hey, that's a good idea.
Now, just remember,
here's what you've got to do--
just keep talking and talking
and talking and talking.
You know, act normal.
No, no, no, I take that back.
I need you on my team tonight.
Now, get in there and fight and keep
those lips moving.
Lucy?
Yeah?
Aren't the Mertzes coming over
tonight?
Yeah. They said they were.
What do you think is holding them up?
Gee, I don't know.
They ought to be here any minute.
(doorbell buzzes)
There they are.
Oh, good.
I'm glad you came.
Hello.
I wanted to...
Wasn't this a wonderful day?
Hi. Oh, It sure was.
This is unusual weather for this time
of year,
but frankly, I like unusual weather,
particularly at this time of year.
Uh-huh.
What were you doing today, Rick?
Uh, I...
I was pretty busy
puttering around the apartment.
Then I went over to the drugstore
and got an ice cream soda.
An "all around strawberry" soda.
That's a soda with strawberry flavor
and strawberry ice cream.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Pretty good.
Yeah.
They sure are.
Uh, I had an idea...
How are you, Lucy?
Fine.
And what's new?
Nothing.
I had an idea that maybe...
Fred, Fred, there's something I've
been wanting to ask you.
Well, what is it, Ethel?
Uh... how are you, Fred?
Fine. How are you?
Oh, pretty good.
I don't think either one of you are
well.
I had an idea that maybe tonight...
Oh, look! Lucy's got some delicious
new candy.
Want a piece, Fred?
Yeah.
Okay, there you are.
I guess I'll have a piece, too.
(chuckles)
Ethel, those are just those same old
caramels
you gave us for Christmas.
I had an idea, like I was saying,
you know that what-what maybe you
would like to do tonight,
and I thought you'd like to see
the pictures of I took of the baby.
Oh, honey, Ethel and Fred
don't want to see those pictures
again.
What are you talking about?
They're pictures of their godson.
Oh, Ricky, we'd really love to see
them, but...
it hurts our eyes to look at them
on that old wrinkled sheet you use
for a screen.
Oh?
Outside of that, we'd be delighted to
see them.
Oh.
(chuckles)
(chuckling)
You see? You see?
Now, the reason I wanted you to see
them again
is because I wanted you to see them
in this new screen I bought today.
Wait till you see them in that!
Go get your glasses, Fred.
I'll watch without them.
You can't see without them.
I know what I'm doing.
I got it all set up
just in case you asked to see them
again.
Fred, uh, ge-ge-ge-get-get-get rid of
your head, will you?
What do you want me to do-- take it
off?
I mean, you know, move it over.
All right, all right.
Turn the lights off, honey.
Yeah.
Here we go!
(click)
(film projector whirring)
(No audio)
RICKY: This would have been a good
shot
if Lucy just didn't argue with me.
(chuckling)
Doesn't he look cute?
Look at that.
A pretty good close-up.
You know, this one was a great
idea...
but things moving that fast are
pretty tough.
Ah, how's that, huh?
How's that for a moving shot?
Right through the bedroom and into
the nursery.
Have you ever seen anything better
than that
in real movies?
Huh? Look at the way that focuses all
the way.
You can see them in the mirror in the
back.
See the mirror in the back there?
This would have been great
if I hadn't tripped over the baby's
wagon.
This is a great way to get killed--
just take a picture of your wife
when she wakes up in the morning.
Ooh!
(chuckling)
Now, the next ten minutes of film
is just as good as anyone has ever
taken.
I don't want to brag, but, uh,
(voice fading): I think that I
learned pretty fast.
(normal voice): And as Lucy holds up
little Ricky and waves good-bye,
we say a reluctant farewell
to the Ricardo apartment and its
charming inhabitants.
This is a Ricky Ricardo production!
(humming fanfare): Bum bum bum bum
bum bum...!
That's all.
You know, they're very good,
considering that those are the first
pictures
that I...
Lucy.
More! More!
Dear, those were really wonderful.
Don't you think so, Eth...?
Ethel? Fred?
Ew...
(screaming)
Oh!
Oh, you...
What's the matter with you two
scaring me to death?
We wanted to be sure the coast is
clear.
Is Ricky very mad?
I'll say. He wouldn't even talk to me
this morning.
We're the ones who sneaked out.
What's he mad at you for?
Yeah.
I fell asleep.
Oh, no.
Good morning.
Good morning!
Good-bye.
Now, Ricky, wait a minute.
We're sorry.
We really liked your movies.
We want to see them again!
Tonight!
Don't we, Fred?
Yeah! Yeah!
My, but you sound sincere.
Well, I mean it.
Oh, sure.
I do!
I'm just dying to see those lousy
movies again.
Fred, that's a terrible thing to say.
Ricky put a lot of time and effort
into those lousy movies-- those
movies.
Oh, now, Ricky, they didn't mean
that.
Look, you don't have to worry about
me.
You don't have to see any of the
movies that I take
ever again, including the TV pilot
film
that I'm just about to audition.
Oh, Fred, what's the matter with you?
That's a fine thing...
TV pilot film?
What were you saying about a TV pilot
film?
Nothing that concerns you.
I was going to make one using the
three of you as actors,
but I have changed my mind about the
supporting cast.
Adios, amigos.
Now, wait a minute, Ricky!
You have fixed the sheets and
blankets.
Now go take a nap.
(door slamming)
What did he mean by that?
Yeah.
He was trying to say
you have made your bed, now lie in
it.
Hi.
Hi.
Well, I hope you are satisfied.
Huh? Now what?
Remember that TV pilot film Ricky was
going to make?
Remember it?
We've all been nice to him for days,
so he'd use us in it.
Yeah, well, we can all go back
to being our normal, nasty selves.
He's already made it.
What?
And next week
the most important man in television,
Mr. Bennett Green is coming over to
look at it.
Well, we certainly muffed that one.
What do you mean, "we"?
You were the ones who tippy-toed out
in the middle of our home movies.
You should talk, sleepytime gal!
That's telling her, Ethel.
Now, don't you be smart, Fred.
You're the one who really clinched
the whole thing
with your diplomatic remark:
"Sure, I'm just dying to see those
lousy movies again."
Ah, just a minute.
Oh, really, Fred.
Oh, you two now,
stop squabbling.
The main thing is, what can we do
about it?
Nothing. We're not in it, so that's
that.
Yeah. As an old Cuban philosopher
once said,
"We have plugged in the electric
blanket.
Now let's take the snooze."
Well, it's too bad,
but it's just one of those things.
FRED: I guess so.
I'm not so sure.
Hey, just a minute.
We forgot Miss Never-say-die.
Lucy, what are you planning?
What are you thinking?
What's going on?
We'll make our own TV film.
Our own?
Our own?
Yeah, we'll make it just like Ricky
did.
We'll use his film, his camera, his
lights... his wife,
and if they play their cards right,
his wife's friends.
And then when Mr. Bennett Green comes
over,
he'll see a double feature.
What kind of a film will we make?
Um... a Western drama.
Hey.
That's a wonderful idea.
We'll get a name later.
Right now we have a lot to think
about.
We have to get costumes, scenery,
have to find out who shoots who...
Oh, boy!
Look at this, Fred.
Isn't this great?
This is fixed up great.
LUCY: Yeah? Hey, Lucy!
Here we are.
Hi, pard.
(laughing)
I can't get over
how cute you got the room fixed up.
Well, I worked pretty hard painting
those figures.
They look almost real, don't they?
Look at that one.
FRED: Well, I've had moments
when real people looked like that.
(guffawing)
Come on, we got to get started.
We got to get all this finished and
out of the way
before Ricky gets home.
Okay.
What's that thing?
That's a projector.
I know.
It's a new kind.
You put the sound right on the film,
like a tape recorder.
Oh.
Fred, now, for the first part, you
take the picture.
You look right through this little
red thing here,
and then you press this button right
here, see?
See that? Yeah.
Yeah.
You press that down.
What's this little dial here for?
It says "8, 16, 32, 64."
Gee, I don't know.
Well, take a little bit of each
number
and see what happens.
Okay.
Ready, Ethel?
Yep.
Stand back here.
Remember how we did it. Okay.
Roll 'em. Lights, camera, action,
quiet!!
What's that for?
I went to a studio in Hollywood once.
That's the way they make pictures.
Oh.
Fred, turn on the phonograph.
(honky-tonk music playing)
I'm an old cowhand
From the Rio Grande
And my legs ain't bowed
And my teeth ain't capped
I'm a cowboy who never saw a cow
Never roped a steer 'cause I don't
know how
And I sure ain't fixin' to find out
now
Yippee i-o-ki-ay
Yee-ha!
Yippee i-o-ki-ay
Yee-hee!
Yee-ha!
Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha
I'm an old cowhand
From the Rio Grande
And I learned to ride
'Fore I learned to stand
I'm a ridin' fool who is up-to-date
I know every road in the Lone Star
State
'Cause I rode the range in a Ford V-8
Yee-ha!
Yippee i-o-ki-ay
Yee-ha!
Yippee i-o-ki-ay
Yee-ha!
Yippee!
Yippee!
Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha
I know all the songs that the cowboys
know...
'Bout... that big...
corral...
Where... the doggies...
go...
(howling)
(gunshot)
'Cause I learned them all on the
radio
Yippee i-o-ki-ay
Yippee!
Yippee i-o-ki-ay
Yee-ha!
Yippee!
Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha
Yee-ha!
Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha
Whee!
Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha.
Yee-ha!
You know that looked pretty good?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now we do the big, dramatic part of
the show.
Now, Fred, don't forget,
you make an entrance from over there.
Well, who's going to run the camera
if I'm off the scene?
Oh, well, we set that on automatic,
see?
We-we push this button right here
and the camera takes a picture by
itself.
I got it.
Okay, now, Ethel,
don't forget where we stopped.
Oh, I got it.
All right, here we go.
Roll 'em, Fred!
(camera whirring)
How about a game of draw poker, Tex?
Don't mind if I do, Nevada.
Cigarette?
Yep.
Hold it!
I didn't cut them cards.
Are you accusin' me of cheatin'?
Yep, I'm accusin' you of cheatin'.
Smile when you say that.
Yep, I'm accusing you of cheatin'.
No man can say that to me.
Smile when you say that.
No man can say that to me.
Reach for the ceiling, both of ya!
Drop them guns!
You're under arrest!
We ain't got nothin' on us.
You're the ones that robbed the
stage, you mangy polecats.
How did you find out?
I got wind of it.
All right, I am taking you to the
clink.
Get goin'!
Pick it up there!
LUCY: Cut!
Oh, boy, that was good, wasn't it?
I say so.
I hope that camera didn't run out of
film.
Don't worry...
Film?
Lucy.
Well, that was a good dress
rehearsal.
Now I'll put in the film.
Lucy?
Oh, the film came!
Why didn't you wait for me?
Who's got time to wait for you?
I got to get this stuff spliced
together.
How's it look?
Look at this.
Oh, look at Fred in that outfit!
LUCY: Look at you in those chaps.
Hey, that mustache looks better on
film on you
than it did really, didn't it?
Yeah.
(guffawing)
Oh, boy.
Doesn't that look great?
Great.
Ricky!
Um... wh-what are you doing here?
I live here, remember?
Uh, I thought you weren't coming home
to dinner.
I didn't come home for dinner.
I just came over to pick up my
guitar.
What are these pictures?
Uh...
I asked, "What are these pictures?"
Would you believe it if I told you
they were taken by a sidewalk
photographer?
No.
No? Well, uh...
I might as well tell you the truth.
Um, a talent scout called us from
Hollywood
and-and he came over here with all of
his equipment
and-and he took pictures of all of us
while we were, uh...
because he...
Go on. Go on.
I can't. I don't even believe it
myself.
Well, all right, I'll tell you,
Ricky.
We got mad at you because you
wouldn't let us
be in your TV film, so we made one of
our own.
So, you show your film to Mr. Green
and we'll show ours.
Mr. Green is a very busy man.
He will only have time to see one
film.
Well, that's very sweet of you, dear,
but when will he see yours?
You know what I mean.
You won't show your film to anybody
tomorrow night.
Now, just a minute.
We put a lot of time and money into
this film.
What are we gonna do with it?
Well, just show it to each other
while I'm running my boring baby
pictures.
Hasta la vista.
(door slamming)
(sighs)
Well, that's that.
Oh, no, it isn't.
Our picture will be shown
and what's more, Ricky will be
showing it.
What are you gonna do, switch reels?
No. I'm gonna cut our picture into
Ricky's.
I'm gonna figure out a way to use the
best parts of both.
Give me Ricky's film in the closet
there.
Put this back on here now.
Where is it?
Up on the top shelf.
All those reels up there.
Lucy, Ricky and Mr. Green just got
out of the cab.
Yeah, well, everything's all ready.
I just finished. Here.
Fred, put this on the projection
machine right away.
Right.
Oh, I hope it's all right.
I did it in such a hurry.
Here, pick all this stuff up.
RICKY: Here you are, Mr. Green.
Oh, hi!
Hello.
Hello.
Mr. Green, this is my wife, Lucy.
How do you do, Mr. Green?
Very nice to know you.
This is our neighbors, Mr. and Mrs.
Mertz.
How do you do?
Hi, Mr. Green.
How are you?
Uh, Mr. Green is very busy,
so he just has time to see the film
and then he has to leave right away.
You know how demanding television is.
Oh, I certainly do, Mr. Green.
That's quite all right.
Well, I know that you're looking for
some unusual shows
and this film is liable to be
the biggest surprise of the year.
You can say that again.
Well, uh, won't you sit down, Mr.
Green?
Thank you.
Sit right over there, Mr. Green.
That's it right over there.
RICKY: I'll get everything settled
here.
Lucy, would you turn out the light,
please?
Yeah, I will.
RICKY: Check this back here.
Get set.
Okay, here we go!
(click)
(film projector whirring)
RICKY: The pastry chef at the club
made that for me.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
As a change in your television
entertainment,
tonight we bring you a program of
Latin American rhythms,
starting with the very popular "Vaya
Con Dios."
(playing romantic ballad intro)
Se llego el momento ya de separarnos
En silencia el corazon
Dice y suspira
Vaya con dios, mi vida
Vaya con dios, mi amor...
(honky-tonk music playing)
I'm an old cowhand
From the Rio Grande
And my legs ain't bowed
And my teeth ain't capped...
...mi amor
Las campanas de la iglesia ya suenan
triste
Reach for the ceiling, both of ya!
(howling)
(gunshot)
'Cause I learned them all
On the radio
Yippee i-o-ki-ay, yippee!
Vaya con dios, mi vida
Vaya con dios
Mi amor...
Hold it!
I didn't cut them cards.
Are you accusin' me of cheatin'?
ETHEL: Yep, I'm accusin' you of
cheatin'.
LUCY: Smile when you say that.
Vaya con dios
Mi vida
Vaya con dios...
(speaking backwards): There up it
pick!
Goin' get!
Clink the to you taking am I, right
all.
It of wind got I.
Out find you did how?
Polecats mangy you, stage the
robbed that ones the you're.
Us on nothin' got ain't we.
Arrest under you're!
Guns them drop!
Ya of both, ceiling the for reach!
Me to that say can man no.
ETHEL: That say you when smile.
LUCY: Me to that say can man no.
ETHEL: Cheatin' of me accusin' you
are?
Cards them cut didn't I.
It hold!
(singing "Vaya Con Dios" backwards)
(film running at high speed)
(singing rapidly with squeaky,
high-pitched voice)
I'm an old cowhand
From the Rio Grande
And I learned to ride
'Fore I learned to stand
I'm a ridin' fool who is up-to-date
I know every road in the Lone Star
State
'Cause I rode the range in a Ford V-8
Yee-ha!
Yippee i-o-ki-ay
Yee-ha!
Yippee i-o-ki-ay
Yee-ha!
Yippee!
Yippee!
Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha
RICKY: This is a Ricky Ricardo
production.
FRED: I got wind of it.
Well, well.
Mr. Green, I-I-I just don't know what
to say.
Don't say anything.
Just let me have it.
It's terrific.
What?
The funniest thing I've ever seen.
Such imagination.
Most people would make a straight
dull musical show,
but you added all those delightful
touches of comedy.
You liked it, huh?
Oh, Mrs. Ricardo, you were wonderful!
And the, and the Mertzes were just
great.
Oh, thank you, thank you!
Thank you very much.
Mrs. Ricardo, you're married to a
genius.
Oh. Yes, I know.
How did you ever think of it, dear?
I don't know.
Just came to me.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
ANNOUNCER: I Love Lucy is a Desilu
production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same
time.
Ethel, I thought we were going over
to the Ricardos' tonight.
ETHEL: We are. I'm ready.
All right.
Come on.
You'd better take your glasses with
you.
What for? I know what Lucy and Ricky
look like.
Suppose Ricky wants to show us his
home movies again.
He wouldn't dare.
He's been showing them to us every
night.
Well, after all, it's his first movie
camera
and the first pictures he's got of
the baby.
Well, count me out.
If I want to see old movies,
I can stay home and watch television.
Well, what can we do?
I'll tell you what we'll have to do.
Don't let the conversation lag.
Don't even give them a chance
to suggest showing the movies.
Hey, that's a good idea.
Now, just remember,
here's what you've got to do--
just keep talking and talking
and talking and talking.
You know, act normal.
No, no, no, I take that back.
I need you on my team tonight.
Now, get in there and fight and keep
those lips moving.
Lucy?
Yeah?
Aren't the Mertzes coming over
tonight?
Yeah. They said they were.
What do you think is holding them up?
Gee, I don't know.
They ought to be here any minute.
(doorbell buzzes)
There they are.
Oh, good.
I'm glad you came.
Hello.
I wanted to...
Wasn't this a wonderful day?
Hi. Oh, It sure was.
This is unusual weather for this time
of year,
but frankly, I like unusual weather,
particularly at this time of year.
Uh-huh.
What were you doing today, Rick?
Uh, I...
I was pretty busy
puttering around the apartment.
Then I went over to the drugstore
and got an ice cream soda.
An "all around strawberry" soda.
That's a soda with strawberry flavor
and strawberry ice cream.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Pretty good.
Yeah.
They sure are.
Uh, I had an idea...
How are you, Lucy?
Fine.
And what's new?
Nothing.
I had an idea that maybe...
Fred, Fred, there's something I've
been wanting to ask you.
Well, what is it, Ethel?
Uh... how are you, Fred?
Fine. How are you?
Oh, pretty good.
I don't think either one of you are
well.
I had an idea that maybe tonight...
Oh, look! Lucy's got some delicious
new candy.
Want a piece, Fred?
Yeah.
Okay, there you are.
I guess I'll have a piece, too.
(chuckles)
Ethel, those are just those same old
caramels
you gave us for Christmas.
I had an idea, like I was saying,
you know that what-what maybe you
would like to do tonight,
and I thought you'd like to see
the pictures of I took of the baby.
Oh, honey, Ethel and Fred
don't want to see those pictures
again.
What are you talking about?
They're pictures of their godson.
Oh, Ricky, we'd really love to see
them, but...
it hurts our eyes to look at them
on that old wrinkled sheet you use
for a screen.
Oh?
Outside of that, we'd be delighted to
see them.
Oh.
(chuckles)
(chuckling)
You see? You see?
Now, the reason I wanted you to see
them again
is because I wanted you to see them
in this new screen I bought today.
Wait till you see them in that!
Go get your glasses, Fred.
I'll watch without them.
You can't see without them.
I know what I'm doing.
I got it all set up
just in case you asked to see them
again.
Fred, uh, ge-ge-ge-get-get-get rid of
your head, will you?
What do you want me to do-- take it
off?
I mean, you know, move it over.
All right, all right.
Turn the lights off, honey.
Yeah.
Here we go!
(click)
(film projector whirring)
(No audio)
RICKY: This would have been a good
shot
if Lucy just didn't argue with me.
(chuckling)
Doesn't he look cute?
Look at that.
A pretty good close-up.
You know, this one was a great
idea...
but things moving that fast are
pretty tough.
Ah, how's that, huh?
How's that for a moving shot?
Right through the bedroom and into
the nursery.
Have you ever seen anything better
than that
in real movies?
Huh? Look at the way that focuses all
the way.
You can see them in the mirror in the
back.
See the mirror in the back there?
This would have been great
if I hadn't tripped over the baby's
wagon.
This is a great way to get killed--
just take a picture of your wife
when she wakes up in the morning.
Ooh!
(chuckling)
Now, the next ten minutes of film
is just as good as anyone has ever
taken.
I don't want to brag, but, uh,
(voice fading): I think that I
learned pretty fast.
(normal voice): And as Lucy holds up
little Ricky and waves good-bye,
we say a reluctant farewell
to the Ricardo apartment and its
charming inhabitants.
This is a Ricky Ricardo production!
(humming fanfare): Bum bum bum bum
bum bum...!
That's all.
You know, they're very good,
considering that those are the first
pictures
that I...
Lucy.
More! More!
Dear, those were really wonderful.
Don't you think so, Eth...?
Ethel? Fred?
Ew...
(screaming)
Oh!
Oh, you...
What's the matter with you two
scaring me to death?
We wanted to be sure the coast is
clear.
Is Ricky very mad?
I'll say. He wouldn't even talk to me
this morning.
We're the ones who sneaked out.
What's he mad at you for?
Yeah.
I fell asleep.
Oh, no.
Good morning.
Good morning!
Good-bye.
Now, Ricky, wait a minute.
We're sorry.
We really liked your movies.
We want to see them again!
Tonight!
Don't we, Fred?
Yeah! Yeah!
My, but you sound sincere.
Well, I mean it.
Oh, sure.
I do!
I'm just dying to see those lousy
movies again.
Fred, that's a terrible thing to say.
Ricky put a lot of time and effort
into those lousy movies-- those
movies.
Oh, now, Ricky, they didn't mean
that.
Look, you don't have to worry about
me.
You don't have to see any of the
movies that I take
ever again, including the TV pilot
film
that I'm just about to audition.
Oh, Fred, what's the matter with you?
That's a fine thing...
TV pilot film?
What were you saying about a TV pilot
film?
Nothing that concerns you.
I was going to make one using the
three of you as actors,
but I have changed my mind about the
supporting cast.
Adios, amigos.
Now, wait a minute, Ricky!
You have fixed the sheets and
blankets.
Now go take a nap.
(door slamming)
What did he mean by that?
Yeah.
He was trying to say
you have made your bed, now lie in
it.
Hi.
Hi.
Well, I hope you are satisfied.
Huh? Now what?
Remember that TV pilot film Ricky was
going to make?
Remember it?
We've all been nice to him for days,
so he'd use us in it.
Yeah, well, we can all go back
to being our normal, nasty selves.
He's already made it.
What?
And next week
the most important man in television,
Mr. Bennett Green is coming over to
look at it.
Well, we certainly muffed that one.
What do you mean, "we"?
You were the ones who tippy-toed out
in the middle of our home movies.
You should talk, sleepytime gal!
That's telling her, Ethel.
Now, don't you be smart, Fred.
You're the one who really clinched
the whole thing
with your diplomatic remark:
"Sure, I'm just dying to see those
lousy movies again."
Ah, just a minute.
Oh, really, Fred.
Oh, you two now,
stop squabbling.
The main thing is, what can we do
about it?
Nothing. We're not in it, so that's
that.
Yeah. As an old Cuban philosopher
once said,
"We have plugged in the electric
blanket.
Now let's take the snooze."
Well, it's too bad,
but it's just one of those things.
FRED: I guess so.
I'm not so sure.
Hey, just a minute.
We forgot Miss Never-say-die.
Lucy, what are you planning?
What are you thinking?
What's going on?
We'll make our own TV film.
Our own?
Our own?
Yeah, we'll make it just like Ricky
did.
We'll use his film, his camera, his
lights... his wife,
and if they play their cards right,
his wife's friends.
And then when Mr. Bennett Green comes
over,
he'll see a double feature.
What kind of a film will we make?
Um... a Western drama.
Hey.
That's a wonderful idea.
We'll get a name later.
Right now we have a lot to think
about.
We have to get costumes, scenery,
have to find out who shoots who...
Oh, boy!
Look at this, Fred.
Isn't this great?
This is fixed up great.
LUCY: Yeah? Hey, Lucy!
Here we are.
Hi, pard.
(laughing)
I can't get over
how cute you got the room fixed up.
Well, I worked pretty hard painting
those figures.
They look almost real, don't they?
Look at that one.
FRED: Well, I've had moments
when real people looked like that.
(guffawing)
Come on, we got to get started.
We got to get all this finished and
out of the way
before Ricky gets home.
Okay.
What's that thing?
That's a projector.
I know.
It's a new kind.
You put the sound right on the film,
like a tape recorder.
Oh.
Fred, now, for the first part, you
take the picture.
You look right through this little
red thing here,
and then you press this button right
here, see?
See that? Yeah.
Yeah.
You press that down.
What's this little dial here for?
It says "8, 16, 32, 64."
Gee, I don't know.
Well, take a little bit of each
number
and see what happens.
Okay.
Ready, Ethel?
Yep.
Stand back here.
Remember how we did it. Okay.
Roll 'em. Lights, camera, action,
quiet!!
What's that for?
I went to a studio in Hollywood once.
That's the way they make pictures.
Oh.
Fred, turn on the phonograph.
(honky-tonk music playing)
I'm an old cowhand
From the Rio Grande
And my legs ain't bowed
And my teeth ain't capped
I'm a cowboy who never saw a cow
Never roped a steer 'cause I don't
know how
And I sure ain't fixin' to find out
now
Yippee i-o-ki-ay
Yee-ha!
Yippee i-o-ki-ay
Yee-hee!
Yee-ha!
Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha
I'm an old cowhand
From the Rio Grande
And I learned to ride
'Fore I learned to stand
I'm a ridin' fool who is up-to-date
I know every road in the Lone Star
State
'Cause I rode the range in a Ford V-8
Yee-ha!
Yippee i-o-ki-ay
Yee-ha!
Yippee i-o-ki-ay
Yee-ha!
Yippee!
Yippee!
Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha
I know all the songs that the cowboys
know...
'Bout... that big...
corral...
Where... the doggies...
go...
(howling)
(gunshot)
'Cause I learned them all on the
radio
Yippee i-o-ki-ay
Yippee!
Yippee i-o-ki-ay
Yee-ha!
Yippee!
Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha
Yee-ha!
Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha
Whee!
Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha.
Yee-ha!
You know that looked pretty good?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now we do the big, dramatic part of
the show.
Now, Fred, don't forget,
you make an entrance from over there.
Well, who's going to run the camera
if I'm off the scene?
Oh, well, we set that on automatic,
see?
We-we push this button right here
and the camera takes a picture by
itself.
I got it.
Okay, now, Ethel,
don't forget where we stopped.
Oh, I got it.
All right, here we go.
Roll 'em, Fred!
(camera whirring)
How about a game of draw poker, Tex?
Don't mind if I do, Nevada.
Cigarette?
Yep.
Hold it!
I didn't cut them cards.
Are you accusin' me of cheatin'?
Yep, I'm accusin' you of cheatin'.
Smile when you say that.
Yep, I'm accusing you of cheatin'.
No man can say that to me.
Smile when you say that.
No man can say that to me.
Reach for the ceiling, both of ya!
Drop them guns!
You're under arrest!
We ain't got nothin' on us.
You're the ones that robbed the
stage, you mangy polecats.
How did you find out?
I got wind of it.
All right, I am taking you to the
clink.
Get goin'!
Pick it up there!
LUCY: Cut!
Oh, boy, that was good, wasn't it?
I say so.
I hope that camera didn't run out of
film.
Don't worry...
Film?
Lucy.
Well, that was a good dress
rehearsal.
Now I'll put in the film.
Lucy?
Oh, the film came!
Why didn't you wait for me?
Who's got time to wait for you?
I got to get this stuff spliced
together.
How's it look?
Look at this.
Oh, look at Fred in that outfit!
LUCY: Look at you in those chaps.
Hey, that mustache looks better on
film on you
than it did really, didn't it?
Yeah.
(guffawing)
Oh, boy.
Doesn't that look great?
Great.
Ricky!
Um... wh-what are you doing here?
I live here, remember?
Uh, I thought you weren't coming home
to dinner.
I didn't come home for dinner.
I just came over to pick up my
guitar.
What are these pictures?
Uh...
I asked, "What are these pictures?"
Would you believe it if I told you
they were taken by a sidewalk
photographer?
No.
No? Well, uh...
I might as well tell you the truth.
Um, a talent scout called us from
Hollywood
and-and he came over here with all of
his equipment
and-and he took pictures of all of us
while we were, uh...
because he...
Go on. Go on.
I can't. I don't even believe it
myself.
Well, all right, I'll tell you,
Ricky.
We got mad at you because you
wouldn't let us
be in your TV film, so we made one of
our own.
So, you show your film to Mr. Green
and we'll show ours.
Mr. Green is a very busy man.
He will only have time to see one
film.
Well, that's very sweet of you, dear,
but when will he see yours?
You know what I mean.
You won't show your film to anybody
tomorrow night.
Now, just a minute.
We put a lot of time and money into
this film.
What are we gonna do with it?
Well, just show it to each other
while I'm running my boring baby
pictures.
Hasta la vista.
(door slamming)
(sighs)
Well, that's that.
Oh, no, it isn't.
Our picture will be shown
and what's more, Ricky will be
showing it.
What are you gonna do, switch reels?
No. I'm gonna cut our picture into
Ricky's.
I'm gonna figure out a way to use the
best parts of both.
Give me Ricky's film in the closet
there.
Put this back on here now.
Where is it?
Up on the top shelf.
All those reels up there.
Lucy, Ricky and Mr. Green just got
out of the cab.
Yeah, well, everything's all ready.
I just finished. Here.
Fred, put this on the projection
machine right away.
Right.
Oh, I hope it's all right.
I did it in such a hurry.
Here, pick all this stuff up.
RICKY: Here you are, Mr. Green.
Oh, hi!
Hello.
Hello.
Mr. Green, this is my wife, Lucy.
How do you do, Mr. Green?
Very nice to know you.
This is our neighbors, Mr. and Mrs.
Mertz.
How do you do?
Hi, Mr. Green.
How are you?
Uh, Mr. Green is very busy,
so he just has time to see the film
and then he has to leave right away.
You know how demanding television is.
Oh, I certainly do, Mr. Green.
That's quite all right.
Well, I know that you're looking for
some unusual shows
and this film is liable to be
the biggest surprise of the year.
You can say that again.
Well, uh, won't you sit down, Mr.
Green?
Thank you.
Sit right over there, Mr. Green.
That's it right over there.
RICKY: I'll get everything settled
here.
Lucy, would you turn out the light,
please?
Yeah, I will.
RICKY: Check this back here.
Get set.
Okay, here we go!
(click)
(film projector whirring)
RICKY: The pastry chef at the club
made that for me.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
As a change in your television
entertainment,
tonight we bring you a program of
Latin American rhythms,
starting with the very popular "Vaya
Con Dios."
(playing romantic ballad intro)
Se llego el momento ya de separarnos
En silencia el corazon
Dice y suspira
Vaya con dios, mi vida
Vaya con dios, mi amor...
(honky-tonk music playing)
I'm an old cowhand
From the Rio Grande
And my legs ain't bowed
And my teeth ain't capped...
...mi amor
Las campanas de la iglesia ya suenan
triste
Reach for the ceiling, both of ya!
(howling)
(gunshot)
'Cause I learned them all
On the radio
Yippee i-o-ki-ay, yippee!
Vaya con dios, mi vida
Vaya con dios
Mi amor...
Hold it!
I didn't cut them cards.
Are you accusin' me of cheatin'?
ETHEL: Yep, I'm accusin' you of
cheatin'.
LUCY: Smile when you say that.
Vaya con dios
Mi vida
Vaya con dios...
(speaking backwards): There up it
pick!
Goin' get!
Clink the to you taking am I, right
all.
It of wind got I.
Out find you did how?
Polecats mangy you, stage the
robbed that ones the you're.
Us on nothin' got ain't we.
Arrest under you're!
Guns them drop!
Ya of both, ceiling the for reach!
Me to that say can man no.
ETHEL: That say you when smile.
LUCY: Me to that say can man no.
ETHEL: Cheatin' of me accusin' you
are?
Cards them cut didn't I.
It hold!
(singing "Vaya Con Dios" backwards)
(film running at high speed)
(singing rapidly with squeaky,
high-pitched voice)
I'm an old cowhand
From the Rio Grande
And I learned to ride
'Fore I learned to stand
I'm a ridin' fool who is up-to-date
I know every road in the Lone Star
State
'Cause I rode the range in a Ford V-8
Yee-ha!
Yippee i-o-ki-ay
Yee-ha!
Yippee i-o-ki-ay
Yee-ha!
Yippee!
Yippee!
Ya-ka-ta-ka-ha
RICKY: This is a Ricky Ricardo
production.
FRED: I got wind of it.
Well, well.
Mr. Green, I-I-I just don't know what
to say.
Don't say anything.
Just let me have it.
It's terrific.
What?
The funniest thing I've ever seen.
Such imagination.
Most people would make a straight
dull musical show,
but you added all those delightful
touches of comedy.
You liked it, huh?
Oh, Mrs. Ricardo, you were wonderful!
And the, and the Mertzes were just
great.
Oh, thank you, thank you!
Thank you very much.
Mrs. Ricardo, you're married to a
genius.
Oh. Yes, I know.
How did you ever think of it, dear?
I don't know.
Just came to me.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
ANNOUNCER: I Love Lucy is a Desilu
production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same
time.