I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 3, Episode 2 - The Girls Go Into Business - full transcript
With dreams of making a fortune, Lucy and Ethel buy their own dress shop.
(I Love Lucy theme music plays)
Did you have a nice time
shopping with Mama and Aunt Ethel?
You were such a good boy.
Now we're going to get our coat off
and we're going to have a big dinner
and you can sit here and play while
Mama changes her clothes.
Will you be a good boy?
There you are, tanny right up there.
That's a fella.
Tanny right up there, we take the
coat off.
Him was such a good boy.
You tired, baby?
Little baby tired?
Tanny up... tanny up, Ricky.
There we go.
Let go.
That's it.
Now, you play, play.
There you go, honey.
I'll be right back.
Give me mine.
Oh, wasn't that a wonderful break we
went by Hansen's
during their selling-out sale?
Uh-huh. I wonder why she's giving up
that dress shop.
Oh, I don't know, but I'm glad she
is.
Oh, did you ever see such a bargain?
Never.
And Ricky thinks I don't know how to
save money.
Why, I saved $10 on this dress alone.
I saved seven on mine.
That's $17 we saved today.
What'll we spend it on?
How about buying hats?
Oh, wonderful-- they actually won't
cost us a cent.
Gee, won't our husbands be proud of
us?
Yeah. Let's wear these dresses
tonight and show 'em, huh?
Oh, no, I won't get to wear mine
for a couple of months yet.
What do you mean you won't get to
wear yours
for a couple of months yet?
I have a system.
You know how mad Ricky gets at me
when I buy a new dress?
Yeah.
Well, I just hang this away in the
closet
for a couple of months
and then I take it out and wear it
and Ricky says, "Is that a new
dress?"
And I say, "No, it's been hanging
in the closet for months."
Oh, you're the sneaky one.
Yeah.
See you later.
Bye-bye.
Yes, sir, and do you know
how many steps he took yesterday?
Six?
No.
Seven?
No, two.
No kidding.
Oh, really?
Honestly-- I got so excited
that I called Ricky down at the club,
didn't I, dear?
Huh?
What's the matter with you?
Nothing.
There is, too.
Ever since you came home,
you've been sitting there in a Cuban
funk.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's this crazy business that I'm in
that's getting me down.
There's no sense to show business.
He gets like this every once in a
while.
What's the matter, dear?
Did you have a tough day?
Every day is a tough day.
Everybody wants more money,
everybody wants better billing.
You have to put up
with all these crazy, temperamental
people.
If there's one thing that I can't
stand,
it's temperamental people
yelling and screaming all the time!!
Why do they have to yell and scream?!
Why can't they do business
in a normal, sensible manner like I
do?!
Well, I don't know, dear.
Perhaps it's because they're not calm
and even-tempered like you are.
Yeah.
Well, the whole thing is not worth
it.
I mean, it's not worth it.
When you are through, you've got
nothing. Nothing.
You got nothing going for you.
What have I got going for me?
Nothing.
I got nothing going for me.
Oh, you have, too, Ricky.
You're a big, important star.
Sure.
Certainly.
Well, I mean, show business is not
like any other business.
You know, in another business, if you
get sick, let's say...
maybe you own a store, people working
for you.
It takes care of itself, you don't
have to worry.
You get sick, you stay home, you
enjoy being sick.
You're the smart one, Fred.
Fred?!
Fred?!
Me?!
Sure! You saved your money and you
bought this building.
Well, that's true.
Now all you got to do
is just sit back and watch the money
roll in.
(spluttering)
All right, so it's not a million
dollars,
but you got security.
That's what I ought to do.
I ought to get myself a little
business.
That's a wonderful idea, Ricky.
Hey, we've got a couple of bucks
saved up.
Maybe we could go in partners with
them.
Yeah!
Really?
What kind of business
did you have in mind?
Well, gee, I don't know...
I do-- Hansen's Dress Shop.
Yes! It's for sale.
You know that little store in the
middle of the next block?
LUCY: It's a gold mine right here in
our own neighborhood.
Now, now, wait a minute, Lucy.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Well, but Ricky, a dress shop is just
the thing for you.
Look, I already own a dress shop.
What do you mean you already own a
dress shop?
Have you looked in your closet
lately?
Oh, now don't be smart.
I don't have a lot of clothes.
Huh?
All right, so I do have a lot of
clothes,
but where did I buy them all?
From Hansen's.
Me, too. In fact, I bought a dress
there just this morning.
So did... lots of people.
Ethel, did you buy another dress?
Yes, at Hansen's.
That's where I've bought all my
dresses
ever since we've been married.
All three of them.
Ethel...
Now, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Let's not get off the subject.
The point is that that dress shop
would be a good investment for us.
Look, that might be fine and all of
that.
The dress shop might be great, but
it's out of the question.
Fred and I don't know anything about
running a dress shop.
You don't have to run it, Ethel and I
will.
Yes!
You and Ethel...
Yeah.
(Fred and Ricky laughing)
Oh, no!
Well, I don't see what's so funny.
Women have good business brains, too.
I saved $7 on that dress I bought
this morning.
And I saved $10.
What did you say?
Uh, never mind, just keep on laughing
at us.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
"Let's run a business!"
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ha ha?
Oh, honestly, Ethel, doesn't it make
you sick
that those husbands of ours
can't see an opportunity like this?
I don't even want to think about it.
Honest to goodness, such a darling
shop.
Hello, Mrs. Hansen.
Oh, Mrs. Ricardo and Mrs. Mertz, how
are you?
Hello.
Fine, but Ricky said
I had to bring this dress back.
Well, that's all right.
Well, seeing it was on sale and
everything,
won't it foul up your bookkeeping?
Oh, not at all, Mrs. Ricardo.
You see, I never charge up my sales
to you
until at least a week after.
Oh.
That's nice.
We're sure going to miss you
when you sell this store.
Yeah, we wanted to buy it ourselves,
but our husbands wouldn't let us.
No. Men have no business sense.
No. You know, I'd like to buy it
anyway just to prove
that they don't know what they're
talking about.
You know, that would be wonderful.
And it would practically pay for
itself in no time.
Oh, no, no, it's out of the question.
It's too much money.
You're probably asking thousands of
dollars for it.
Now, you'd be surprised how cheap it
is.
I have a tremendous stock and a long
lease
and all I'm asking is $3,000.
$3,000? Is that all?
That's all.
Uh, you'll excuse me just a moment.
Oh, Ethel, I can't stand it.
We can't let this opportunity go by.
Do you have an idea?
Yes, how much money have you got?
You always get that same idea.
Never mind, how much have you got?
It doesn't matter, $3,000 is out of
the question for us.
Now, listen, that's just her asking
price.
I'll bet I could get her down to
$1,500.
I'll bet you couldn't.
I'll bet I could.
Bet.
Now, where were we?
Oh, yes, I was telling you the price,
wasn't I?
Well, frankly, Mrs. Hansen
$3,000, that's just too much money.
Uh... I'm sure that was just your
asking price.
You'd go a little lower, wouldn't
you?
I'm sorry.
Just a little bit lower?
No.
Not a penny?
No.
Ha, ha, ha!
(laughing)
What's so funny?
I was going to offer you $1,500.
$1,500.
(all laughing)
I'll take it.
Uh, just a moment, please.
Some customers.
WOMAN: Good afternoon, Mrs. Hansen.
Good afternoon.
This is that marvelous shop
I was telling you about, Grace.
Just wait till you see the goodies.
Oh, I can hardly wait.
Oh, Mrs. Hansen, I'll take that
divine striped dress
you put away for me yesterday.
Fine.
Just imagine, Grace,
100% pure wool for only $39.50.
And look at this cute little sweater.
How much is it?
$49.50.
I'll take it.
How much is this sweater?
$20.
I'll take these two.
FIRST WOMAN: I'll take two myself.
May I try the dress on?
Why, of course, right this way.
Come on, Grace.
Ethel, do you realize, she just took
in $200?
I know.
Listen, we've just got to get this
place.
This is a gold mine.
Oh, but we don't even have the down
payment.
Now, look, Mrs. Hansen just made $200
in five minutes.
That's $2,400 an hour.
The store is open eight hours a
day...
Do you realize we'll be making
$19,000 a day?
Wow!
Mrs. Hansen!
Mrs. Hansen, we'll take the store.
Oh!
All right.
If only I had time
to hold out for a fair price.
Fair!
But I cannot stay here.
Mother needs me.
Your mother!
Yes... she's in the hospital
and that $1,500 will just about pay
for her operation.
Oh, well, Mrs. Hansen,
we don't want to take advantage of
you.
Oh, well, let's make it $1,750.
Oh, bless you.
The difference in the money
will just about pay the repairs on
the car.
The repairs on the car?
Yes, grandma had a wreck
when she was taking mother to the
hospital.
Oh, dear.
Oh, Lucy, let's make it 2,000.
No, let's make it 2,250.
Oh, thank you, thank you!
Now, you mustn't think any more about
money.
I'll get the house rebuilt somehow.
The house!
It's a shambles since the fire.
Oh, dear, well, look,
I-I-I can't have this hanging on my
conscience.
Now, look, Mrs. Hansen, you thought
$3,000 was a fair price
and that's what we'll pay you.
We'll get it back in no time at all.
Oh, you're the dearest, sweetest
girls in all the world,
and how do you want to handle the
down payment?
Uh, well, uh... what did you have in
mind?
Money.
I mean, I've heard that 10% is usual.
10%... 10%, three...
That's $300.
Uh, would you, uh, take a check
that's postdated a couple of days?
Well, I don't know...
Well, you see, I have to transfer
some of my...
assets in my other accounts.
Well, I guess that would be all
right.
Good, I'll bring you a check this
afternoon.
Partner?
Partner.
Saks Fifth Avenue, look out!
(bell tinkles)
I think I'll take this adorable belt,
too.
Never mind, they've gone.
Oh. Deal set?
All set.
You were just fine, and you can each
have a scarf
for helping me out.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, hi, I'm sorry I'm late.
I had to wait for Ricky to leave
before I could take the baby down to
Mrs. Trumbull.
How many sales did you make?
None.
None!
We've been open for an hour and a
half.
So?
So we've already lost $3,600.
Oh, Lucy, you can't expect
to make $200 every five minutes.
Sometimes it'll be more, sometimes
it'll be less.
Wait till the rush starts, then we'll
make it up.
Yeah, well, I guess you're right.
Hey, you know, we ought to call all
our friends
and tell them that we bought this
place.
Yeah. Say, we're not going
to keep on calling it Hansen's, are
we?
Oh, no, I guess not.
What do you want to call it?
Oh, you think of a name.
Doesn't make any difference to me.
No, it doesn't matter to me either.
Well, then, I think it ought to be a
combination
of both our names, like "Ethelu's."
"Ethelu's"?
Well, that doesn't sound very good.
Why not?
Well, it just doesn't have an easy
flow,
a nice, pleasing sound.
Well, what would you suggest?
Well, something that rolls right off
your tongue
like "Lucyeth's."
"Lucyeth's?"
Well, that rolls right off your
tongue, all right.
You couldn't keep it on your tongue
if you tried.
Well, maybe we shouldn't try to be
too cute.
Just use both our names and that's
all.
Okay.
Well, it's settled, then:
"Lucy and Ethel's Dress Shop."
"Lucy and Ethel's Dress Shop"?
Yeah.
Well, I think there ought to be a
slight change.
What kind of a change?
Well, like "Ethel and Lucy's Dress
Shop."
Why would you make a change like
that?
Well, just because I think "Ethel and
Lucy's Dress Shop"
sounds better to the ear.
Not to my ear it doesn't.
Well, you've got a tin ear.
Well, you're a big ham.
Who's a big ham?
You are, you've always got to have
your name first.
You're the one...
Ethel, Lucy, Ethel, Lucy,
(bell tinkles)
This is a pretty pickle.
We've been open two whole days
and haven't seen a customer.
We've made five sales.
Yes, to each other.
And I think we should have
investigated our credit
before we opened those charge
accounts.
Hey, there's Ricky and Fred.
Look.
Where? Oh!
RICKY: I just don't get it.
Oh, isn't that a really darling...
Oh, hi!
Oh, hi.
Don't worry, we didn't buy anything.
We're on our way home from the
drugstore.
Do you want to go home with us?
No, we got to do a little more
shopping.
All right, see you later.
Okay.
Bye, honey.
You know, I don't understand it.
How can a guy be flat on his back
three times
and still get up and win?
FRED: Maybe he had a sore back.
Where is everybody?
I don't know.
Maybe the whole town's been
evacuated,
and they forgot to tell us.
What time is it, anyway?
It's 3:00.
Here comes somebody-- pretend you're
a customer.
(bell tinkles)
LUCY: Now, this is a lovely dress.
Oh, that's just darling.
Does it come in any other colors?
Well, uh...
Oh, never mind, Ethel, it's Mrs.
Hansen.
Hello, Mrs. Hansen.
Mrs. Ricardo, your check bounced.
My check bounced!
Like a rubber ball.
Well! I'll call that bank
and give them a piece of my mind.
I've already called them.
Oh, you have?
Uh, look, Mrs. Hansen, now, you know
who my husband is.
Now, there's no question about that
check being good.
Then you won't mind if I call and ask
him.
Uh, no, go right ahead.
Oh, but you won't be able to use our
phone--
it's out of order, isn't it, Ethel?
Huh? Oh, yes, it's out of order.
Hello, hello?
Dead as a doornail.
I'll call him from the drugstore.
Oh, Lucy, what are you going to do?
Get my coat and purse.
(phone rings)
Hello?
Hello, Ricky?
Ricky, this is Lucy.
How are you, dear?
Fine. Where are you?
I'm downtown.
Uh... oh, listen, honey,
hang on a minute-- don't hang up.
Where are you going?
I'm going home.
Home?
Yeah, and don't hang up this phone
for five minutes.
Hi, dear.
What kept you so long?
Well, I got here as soon as I could.
Well, what do you want?
Well, hang up and I'll tell you.
Okay, good-bye.
What are you doing?
Uh... well, I was so close
I thought I might as well come on
home.
Oh... well, what do you want, honey?
Uh, well, I...
I was worrying
about Little Ricky-- how is he?
He's fine.
He's been fine all day.
(phone rings)
Uh, are you sure?
I think I hear him crying.
I don't hear anything.
Oh, you'd better go see, dear.
All right, I'll go see.
Hello, Ricardos' residence, this is
the maid speaking.
Mr. Ricardo? Yes, he's here, but he
doesn't speak any English.
You don't speak Spanish, do you?
Oh, you do.
Oh, well, just a moment.
He's fine, honey, he wasn't crying.
Is the call for me?
Uh... yeah.
Yeah, it's one of my girlfriends
and she's trying to help her daughter
with some Spanish for school,
and she thought maybe you could help
her out.
Sure, what does she want to know how
to say?
Uh...
"The check is good."
"The check is good"?
Uh-huh.
That's a funny thing for a kid to
know how to say.
Well, it's probably one of those
sentences
that they have to write out--
you know, like "Do you have an
umbrella?"
"Do you have a match?"
"The check is good."
Oh.
You know, like that.
"The check is good."
"El cheque esta bueno."
Thank you.
That's all you wanted to know, wasn't
it?
Thank you, good-bye.
Esta bueno cheque.
No, no, no, el cheque esta bueno.
Esta... esta check e beno, bueno.
El cheque esta bueno.
Esta bueno, esta bueno.
El cheque esta bueno...
Yeah, that's a very cute way of
saying it.
Oh, boy, I got out of that one.
Lucy, while you were gone
a man called up-- a Mr. Ralph S.
Boyer.
What did he want?
Did he want to buy something?
Yes.
What, a dress?
No, he's interested in buying the
store.
Buying the store!
Yes, he's on his way over here now.
Oh, wonderful.
We'll use the same gag on him that
Mrs. Hansen used on us.
You know, about her grandmother
that's been in a terrible accident.
Only this time we won't just talk
about the grandmother.
What do you mean?
You just stall him off.
I'll be back as soon as I can.
(humming loudly)
(humming frantically)
Here, wait a minute, Grandma,
let me help you.
I'm going that way.
I'm going down there.
Oh, you're going this way.
You must have had a...
you must have had a a terrible
accident.
Oh, it was awful.
Yes, it was a terrible thing.
I got all smashed up.
Somebody came at me from behind.
I'm going right here.
This is where I'm going.
Well, this shop is closed.
How's that?
This shop is closed.
Closed?
There's a note on the door here.
What does it say?
It says, "Lucy, I've gone to Mr.
Boyer's bank with him
to close the deal-- Ethel."
Oh, for heaven's sake, what's the
matter with her?
Is she crazy or something?
She doesn't know how to take care of
a deal.
Oh, I could kill her.
She can't add two and two.
What does she know about making
deals?
For heaven's sakes, oh...
Ethel!
Lucy!
Come here and help me get this off.
Help you get...
Oh, all right.
Now, where have you been?
Lucy, you've got to come down to the
bank
and sign the papers.
I'm not going anyplace till I find
out what this is all about.
He gave us $3,500.
I don't...
$3,500!
Yippee!
Oh, this is wonderful!
That's $500 for us.
Oh, and our husbands think
we don't know anything about
business.
Oh, be my guest, I'll drive you to
the bank.
Okay.
(Lucy singing gleefully)
And that's for you, and that's for
me.
That's 250 for you and 250 for me.
I'm just going to wave it at them
when they come in.
Oh, I can't wait to see their faces
when we show it to them.
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!
What a deal this could have been.
Yeah, two prize idiots.
Okay, Rick, you kick me
and then I'll kick you.
What are you talking about?
What's the matter?
Well, you know that dress shop that
you wanted us to buy?
Yeah?
Somebody just bought it in a deal.
How did you know about it?
RICKY: Right here in the papers.
In the papers? Really?
You know, it seems that they wanted
to build a skyscraper in that block,
and the only thing that was holding
the deal up
was the lease on that shop.
So a fellow by the name of Boyer
bought it
and sold it to the construction
company
for $50,000.
(I Love Lucy theme music plays)
ANNOUNCER: The part of Mrs. Hansen
was played by Mabel Paige.
The two women shoppers were Kay Wiley
and Barbara Pepper
and the policeman was Emory Parnell.
I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same
time.
This is the CBS television network.
Did you have a nice time
shopping with Mama and Aunt Ethel?
You were such a good boy.
Now we're going to get our coat off
and we're going to have a big dinner
and you can sit here and play while
Mama changes her clothes.
Will you be a good boy?
There you are, tanny right up there.
That's a fella.
Tanny right up there, we take the
coat off.
Him was such a good boy.
You tired, baby?
Little baby tired?
Tanny up... tanny up, Ricky.
There we go.
Let go.
That's it.
Now, you play, play.
There you go, honey.
I'll be right back.
Give me mine.
Oh, wasn't that a wonderful break we
went by Hansen's
during their selling-out sale?
Uh-huh. I wonder why she's giving up
that dress shop.
Oh, I don't know, but I'm glad she
is.
Oh, did you ever see such a bargain?
Never.
And Ricky thinks I don't know how to
save money.
Why, I saved $10 on this dress alone.
I saved seven on mine.
That's $17 we saved today.
What'll we spend it on?
How about buying hats?
Oh, wonderful-- they actually won't
cost us a cent.
Gee, won't our husbands be proud of
us?
Yeah. Let's wear these dresses
tonight and show 'em, huh?
Oh, no, I won't get to wear mine
for a couple of months yet.
What do you mean you won't get to
wear yours
for a couple of months yet?
I have a system.
You know how mad Ricky gets at me
when I buy a new dress?
Yeah.
Well, I just hang this away in the
closet
for a couple of months
and then I take it out and wear it
and Ricky says, "Is that a new
dress?"
And I say, "No, it's been hanging
in the closet for months."
Oh, you're the sneaky one.
Yeah.
See you later.
Bye-bye.
Yes, sir, and do you know
how many steps he took yesterday?
Six?
No.
Seven?
No, two.
No kidding.
Oh, really?
Honestly-- I got so excited
that I called Ricky down at the club,
didn't I, dear?
Huh?
What's the matter with you?
Nothing.
There is, too.
Ever since you came home,
you've been sitting there in a Cuban
funk.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's this crazy business that I'm in
that's getting me down.
There's no sense to show business.
He gets like this every once in a
while.
What's the matter, dear?
Did you have a tough day?
Every day is a tough day.
Everybody wants more money,
everybody wants better billing.
You have to put up
with all these crazy, temperamental
people.
If there's one thing that I can't
stand,
it's temperamental people
yelling and screaming all the time!!
Why do they have to yell and scream?!
Why can't they do business
in a normal, sensible manner like I
do?!
Well, I don't know, dear.
Perhaps it's because they're not calm
and even-tempered like you are.
Yeah.
Well, the whole thing is not worth
it.
I mean, it's not worth it.
When you are through, you've got
nothing. Nothing.
You got nothing going for you.
What have I got going for me?
Nothing.
I got nothing going for me.
Oh, you have, too, Ricky.
You're a big, important star.
Sure.
Certainly.
Well, I mean, show business is not
like any other business.
You know, in another business, if you
get sick, let's say...
maybe you own a store, people working
for you.
It takes care of itself, you don't
have to worry.
You get sick, you stay home, you
enjoy being sick.
You're the smart one, Fred.
Fred?!
Fred?!
Me?!
Sure! You saved your money and you
bought this building.
Well, that's true.
Now all you got to do
is just sit back and watch the money
roll in.
(spluttering)
All right, so it's not a million
dollars,
but you got security.
That's what I ought to do.
I ought to get myself a little
business.
That's a wonderful idea, Ricky.
Hey, we've got a couple of bucks
saved up.
Maybe we could go in partners with
them.
Yeah!
Really?
What kind of business
did you have in mind?
Well, gee, I don't know...
I do-- Hansen's Dress Shop.
Yes! It's for sale.
You know that little store in the
middle of the next block?
LUCY: It's a gold mine right here in
our own neighborhood.
Now, now, wait a minute, Lucy.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Well, but Ricky, a dress shop is just
the thing for you.
Look, I already own a dress shop.
What do you mean you already own a
dress shop?
Have you looked in your closet
lately?
Oh, now don't be smart.
I don't have a lot of clothes.
Huh?
All right, so I do have a lot of
clothes,
but where did I buy them all?
From Hansen's.
Me, too. In fact, I bought a dress
there just this morning.
So did... lots of people.
Ethel, did you buy another dress?
Yes, at Hansen's.
That's where I've bought all my
dresses
ever since we've been married.
All three of them.
Ethel...
Now, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Let's not get off the subject.
The point is that that dress shop
would be a good investment for us.
Look, that might be fine and all of
that.
The dress shop might be great, but
it's out of the question.
Fred and I don't know anything about
running a dress shop.
You don't have to run it, Ethel and I
will.
Yes!
You and Ethel...
Yeah.
(Fred and Ricky laughing)
Oh, no!
Well, I don't see what's so funny.
Women have good business brains, too.
I saved $7 on that dress I bought
this morning.
And I saved $10.
What did you say?
Uh, never mind, just keep on laughing
at us.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
"Let's run a business!"
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ha ha?
Oh, honestly, Ethel, doesn't it make
you sick
that those husbands of ours
can't see an opportunity like this?
I don't even want to think about it.
Honest to goodness, such a darling
shop.
Hello, Mrs. Hansen.
Oh, Mrs. Ricardo and Mrs. Mertz, how
are you?
Hello.
Fine, but Ricky said
I had to bring this dress back.
Well, that's all right.
Well, seeing it was on sale and
everything,
won't it foul up your bookkeeping?
Oh, not at all, Mrs. Ricardo.
You see, I never charge up my sales
to you
until at least a week after.
Oh.
That's nice.
We're sure going to miss you
when you sell this store.
Yeah, we wanted to buy it ourselves,
but our husbands wouldn't let us.
No. Men have no business sense.
No. You know, I'd like to buy it
anyway just to prove
that they don't know what they're
talking about.
You know, that would be wonderful.
And it would practically pay for
itself in no time.
Oh, no, no, it's out of the question.
It's too much money.
You're probably asking thousands of
dollars for it.
Now, you'd be surprised how cheap it
is.
I have a tremendous stock and a long
lease
and all I'm asking is $3,000.
$3,000? Is that all?
That's all.
Uh, you'll excuse me just a moment.
Oh, Ethel, I can't stand it.
We can't let this opportunity go by.
Do you have an idea?
Yes, how much money have you got?
You always get that same idea.
Never mind, how much have you got?
It doesn't matter, $3,000 is out of
the question for us.
Now, listen, that's just her asking
price.
I'll bet I could get her down to
$1,500.
I'll bet you couldn't.
I'll bet I could.
Bet.
Now, where were we?
Oh, yes, I was telling you the price,
wasn't I?
Well, frankly, Mrs. Hansen
$3,000, that's just too much money.
Uh... I'm sure that was just your
asking price.
You'd go a little lower, wouldn't
you?
I'm sorry.
Just a little bit lower?
No.
Not a penny?
No.
Ha, ha, ha!
(laughing)
What's so funny?
I was going to offer you $1,500.
$1,500.
(all laughing)
I'll take it.
Uh, just a moment, please.
Some customers.
WOMAN: Good afternoon, Mrs. Hansen.
Good afternoon.
This is that marvelous shop
I was telling you about, Grace.
Just wait till you see the goodies.
Oh, I can hardly wait.
Oh, Mrs. Hansen, I'll take that
divine striped dress
you put away for me yesterday.
Fine.
Just imagine, Grace,
100% pure wool for only $39.50.
And look at this cute little sweater.
How much is it?
$49.50.
I'll take it.
How much is this sweater?
$20.
I'll take these two.
FIRST WOMAN: I'll take two myself.
May I try the dress on?
Why, of course, right this way.
Come on, Grace.
Ethel, do you realize, she just took
in $200?
I know.
Listen, we've just got to get this
place.
This is a gold mine.
Oh, but we don't even have the down
payment.
Now, look, Mrs. Hansen just made $200
in five minutes.
That's $2,400 an hour.
The store is open eight hours a
day...
Do you realize we'll be making
$19,000 a day?
Wow!
Mrs. Hansen!
Mrs. Hansen, we'll take the store.
Oh!
All right.
If only I had time
to hold out for a fair price.
Fair!
But I cannot stay here.
Mother needs me.
Your mother!
Yes... she's in the hospital
and that $1,500 will just about pay
for her operation.
Oh, well, Mrs. Hansen,
we don't want to take advantage of
you.
Oh, well, let's make it $1,750.
Oh, bless you.
The difference in the money
will just about pay the repairs on
the car.
The repairs on the car?
Yes, grandma had a wreck
when she was taking mother to the
hospital.
Oh, dear.
Oh, Lucy, let's make it 2,000.
No, let's make it 2,250.
Oh, thank you, thank you!
Now, you mustn't think any more about
money.
I'll get the house rebuilt somehow.
The house!
It's a shambles since the fire.
Oh, dear, well, look,
I-I-I can't have this hanging on my
conscience.
Now, look, Mrs. Hansen, you thought
$3,000 was a fair price
and that's what we'll pay you.
We'll get it back in no time at all.
Oh, you're the dearest, sweetest
girls in all the world,
and how do you want to handle the
down payment?
Uh, well, uh... what did you have in
mind?
Money.
I mean, I've heard that 10% is usual.
10%... 10%, three...
That's $300.
Uh, would you, uh, take a check
that's postdated a couple of days?
Well, I don't know...
Well, you see, I have to transfer
some of my...
assets in my other accounts.
Well, I guess that would be all
right.
Good, I'll bring you a check this
afternoon.
Partner?
Partner.
Saks Fifth Avenue, look out!
(bell tinkles)
I think I'll take this adorable belt,
too.
Never mind, they've gone.
Oh. Deal set?
All set.
You were just fine, and you can each
have a scarf
for helping me out.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, hi, I'm sorry I'm late.
I had to wait for Ricky to leave
before I could take the baby down to
Mrs. Trumbull.
How many sales did you make?
None.
None!
We've been open for an hour and a
half.
So?
So we've already lost $3,600.
Oh, Lucy, you can't expect
to make $200 every five minutes.
Sometimes it'll be more, sometimes
it'll be less.
Wait till the rush starts, then we'll
make it up.
Yeah, well, I guess you're right.
Hey, you know, we ought to call all
our friends
and tell them that we bought this
place.
Yeah. Say, we're not going
to keep on calling it Hansen's, are
we?
Oh, no, I guess not.
What do you want to call it?
Oh, you think of a name.
Doesn't make any difference to me.
No, it doesn't matter to me either.
Well, then, I think it ought to be a
combination
of both our names, like "Ethelu's."
"Ethelu's"?
Well, that doesn't sound very good.
Why not?
Well, it just doesn't have an easy
flow,
a nice, pleasing sound.
Well, what would you suggest?
Well, something that rolls right off
your tongue
like "Lucyeth's."
"Lucyeth's?"
Well, that rolls right off your
tongue, all right.
You couldn't keep it on your tongue
if you tried.
Well, maybe we shouldn't try to be
too cute.
Just use both our names and that's
all.
Okay.
Well, it's settled, then:
"Lucy and Ethel's Dress Shop."
"Lucy and Ethel's Dress Shop"?
Yeah.
Well, I think there ought to be a
slight change.
What kind of a change?
Well, like "Ethel and Lucy's Dress
Shop."
Why would you make a change like
that?
Well, just because I think "Ethel and
Lucy's Dress Shop"
sounds better to the ear.
Not to my ear it doesn't.
Well, you've got a tin ear.
Well, you're a big ham.
Who's a big ham?
You are, you've always got to have
your name first.
You're the one...
Ethel, Lucy, Ethel, Lucy,
(bell tinkles)
This is a pretty pickle.
We've been open two whole days
and haven't seen a customer.
We've made five sales.
Yes, to each other.
And I think we should have
investigated our credit
before we opened those charge
accounts.
Hey, there's Ricky and Fred.
Look.
Where? Oh!
RICKY: I just don't get it.
Oh, isn't that a really darling...
Oh, hi!
Oh, hi.
Don't worry, we didn't buy anything.
We're on our way home from the
drugstore.
Do you want to go home with us?
No, we got to do a little more
shopping.
All right, see you later.
Okay.
Bye, honey.
You know, I don't understand it.
How can a guy be flat on his back
three times
and still get up and win?
FRED: Maybe he had a sore back.
Where is everybody?
I don't know.
Maybe the whole town's been
evacuated,
and they forgot to tell us.
What time is it, anyway?
It's 3:00.
Here comes somebody-- pretend you're
a customer.
(bell tinkles)
LUCY: Now, this is a lovely dress.
Oh, that's just darling.
Does it come in any other colors?
Well, uh...
Oh, never mind, Ethel, it's Mrs.
Hansen.
Hello, Mrs. Hansen.
Mrs. Ricardo, your check bounced.
My check bounced!
Like a rubber ball.
Well! I'll call that bank
and give them a piece of my mind.
I've already called them.
Oh, you have?
Uh, look, Mrs. Hansen, now, you know
who my husband is.
Now, there's no question about that
check being good.
Then you won't mind if I call and ask
him.
Uh, no, go right ahead.
Oh, but you won't be able to use our
phone--
it's out of order, isn't it, Ethel?
Huh? Oh, yes, it's out of order.
Hello, hello?
Dead as a doornail.
I'll call him from the drugstore.
Oh, Lucy, what are you going to do?
Get my coat and purse.
(phone rings)
Hello?
Hello, Ricky?
Ricky, this is Lucy.
How are you, dear?
Fine. Where are you?
I'm downtown.
Uh... oh, listen, honey,
hang on a minute-- don't hang up.
Where are you going?
I'm going home.
Home?
Yeah, and don't hang up this phone
for five minutes.
Hi, dear.
What kept you so long?
Well, I got here as soon as I could.
Well, what do you want?
Well, hang up and I'll tell you.
Okay, good-bye.
What are you doing?
Uh... well, I was so close
I thought I might as well come on
home.
Oh... well, what do you want, honey?
Uh, well, I...
I was worrying
about Little Ricky-- how is he?
He's fine.
He's been fine all day.
(phone rings)
Uh, are you sure?
I think I hear him crying.
I don't hear anything.
Oh, you'd better go see, dear.
All right, I'll go see.
Hello, Ricardos' residence, this is
the maid speaking.
Mr. Ricardo? Yes, he's here, but he
doesn't speak any English.
You don't speak Spanish, do you?
Oh, you do.
Oh, well, just a moment.
He's fine, honey, he wasn't crying.
Is the call for me?
Uh... yeah.
Yeah, it's one of my girlfriends
and she's trying to help her daughter
with some Spanish for school,
and she thought maybe you could help
her out.
Sure, what does she want to know how
to say?
Uh...
"The check is good."
"The check is good"?
Uh-huh.
That's a funny thing for a kid to
know how to say.
Well, it's probably one of those
sentences
that they have to write out--
you know, like "Do you have an
umbrella?"
"Do you have a match?"
"The check is good."
Oh.
You know, like that.
"The check is good."
"El cheque esta bueno."
Thank you.
That's all you wanted to know, wasn't
it?
Thank you, good-bye.
Esta bueno cheque.
No, no, no, el cheque esta bueno.
Esta... esta check e beno, bueno.
El cheque esta bueno.
Esta bueno, esta bueno.
El cheque esta bueno...
Yeah, that's a very cute way of
saying it.
Oh, boy, I got out of that one.
Lucy, while you were gone
a man called up-- a Mr. Ralph S.
Boyer.
What did he want?
Did he want to buy something?
Yes.
What, a dress?
No, he's interested in buying the
store.
Buying the store!
Yes, he's on his way over here now.
Oh, wonderful.
We'll use the same gag on him that
Mrs. Hansen used on us.
You know, about her grandmother
that's been in a terrible accident.
Only this time we won't just talk
about the grandmother.
What do you mean?
You just stall him off.
I'll be back as soon as I can.
(humming loudly)
(humming frantically)
Here, wait a minute, Grandma,
let me help you.
I'm going that way.
I'm going down there.
Oh, you're going this way.
You must have had a...
you must have had a a terrible
accident.
Oh, it was awful.
Yes, it was a terrible thing.
I got all smashed up.
Somebody came at me from behind.
I'm going right here.
This is where I'm going.
Well, this shop is closed.
How's that?
This shop is closed.
Closed?
There's a note on the door here.
What does it say?
It says, "Lucy, I've gone to Mr.
Boyer's bank with him
to close the deal-- Ethel."
Oh, for heaven's sake, what's the
matter with her?
Is she crazy or something?
She doesn't know how to take care of
a deal.
Oh, I could kill her.
She can't add two and two.
What does she know about making
deals?
For heaven's sakes, oh...
Ethel!
Lucy!
Come here and help me get this off.
Help you get...
Oh, all right.
Now, where have you been?
Lucy, you've got to come down to the
bank
and sign the papers.
I'm not going anyplace till I find
out what this is all about.
He gave us $3,500.
I don't...
$3,500!
Yippee!
Oh, this is wonderful!
That's $500 for us.
Oh, and our husbands think
we don't know anything about
business.
Oh, be my guest, I'll drive you to
the bank.
Okay.
(Lucy singing gleefully)
And that's for you, and that's for
me.
That's 250 for you and 250 for me.
I'm just going to wave it at them
when they come in.
Oh, I can't wait to see their faces
when we show it to them.
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!
What a deal this could have been.
Yeah, two prize idiots.
Okay, Rick, you kick me
and then I'll kick you.
What are you talking about?
What's the matter?
Well, you know that dress shop that
you wanted us to buy?
Yeah?
Somebody just bought it in a deal.
How did you know about it?
RICKY: Right here in the papers.
In the papers? Really?
You know, it seems that they wanted
to build a skyscraper in that block,
and the only thing that was holding
the deal up
was the lease on that shop.
So a fellow by the name of Boyer
bought it
and sold it to the construction
company
for $50,000.
(I Love Lucy theme music plays)
ANNOUNCER: The part of Mrs. Hansen
was played by Mabel Paige.
The two women shoppers were Kay Wiley
and Barbara Pepper
and the policeman was Emory Parnell.
I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
will be back next week at this same
time.
This is the CBS television network.