I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 3, Episode 1 - Ricky's Life Story - full transcript

(I Love Lucy theme music plays)

Isn't that good?
Isn't that good?

That's a boy.

Ooh, what a face!

What a face, what a face.

You want to get down

and walk for Mama a little bit?

Let's see how much we can walk today,
huh?

Come on.

Oh, sweetie.

Let's see how much we can walk now.



Walk for Mama.
Come on, come on.

Come on, walk.

Aw, come on, now.

Give me a step or two.

Come on, try it.

Try it.
Come on, sweetheart.

Come on. Come on.

That's a fella.

That a boy.

That a fella.

Come on.

That a fella.

There he is.

Do you like this?



Such a good boy.

We take our nap now, huh?

Should we take our nap now?

(mouthing words)

Good morning, Lucy.

Oh, hi.

I brought up your mail.

Oh, thank you very much.

Oh! Oh, Ethel, look!

Life, the magazine--

the one with our pictures in it.

Is this the one with your pictures in
it?

Yeah, well, let me have it now.

Well, I'll find 'em for you.

Honey, I can find it.

It's my magazine and my pictures are
in it.

Okay.
Let's see now...

Oh, here it is.

"Life visits an orchestra leader at
home"-- page 43.

Oh, I'm so excited.

I wonder what my hair looks like.

Oh, you know, the beauty parlor did

a whole new makeup on me that day.

Yeah, I know.

All right, all right.

Oh, and I had on a new dress.

Oh! Oh, here it is.

Isn't that wonderful?

Oh, that's just great!

Look, Ricky practicing at the piano.

Oh, doesn't he look great?

Look at that expression.

Oh, here he is making arroz con pollo
in the kitchen.

I've seen him like that a dozen
times.

Doesn't that look natural?

Oh, look at the baby.

Oh, isn't he a little doll?

Yeah.

Oh, here's Ricky teaching Little
Ricky

to play the conga drum.

I didn't know they took one like
that.

Isn't that wonderful?
That's awful cute.

(gasps)

Look at that big picture of Ricky.

Isn't that wonderful?

Oh, yeah.

That's all?

I must have missed something.

No, that's all.

Gee, three whole pages of pictures!

Well, so what happened to me?

There are no pictures of me there.

Oh, yes, there are.
I saw them.

You did not.

I did, too.

You were in this, uh... Uh...

Yeah, there you are.

Where?

There-- holding the baby.

Oh, great.

That's a fine picture of my left arm.

Oh, come now.

And after all the trouble I went
through.

I told all my friends to look for
pictures of me.

Now, Lucy.

If they don't recognize my left arm,
I'm dead.

Oh, it isn't everybody

who gets her arm in Life magazine.

Oh, I don't want my arm in there.

I want my face in there.

For heaven's sake.

If I'd known what they were up to,

I'd have held the baby in my mouth.

Hey, 20 million people read this
magazine.

Why, your arm will be famous.

Thanks.

Oh, don't be so unhappy.

Think of how much good it'll do
Ricky's career.

Oh, sure, what about my career?

You don't have a career.

Exactly, and why?

Publicity like this.

Oh, now, Lucy.

It's a wonder I've got where I am.

Where are you?

Oh, shut up!

(door buzzer sounds)

Who's that?

Hi, honey!

We made it!

We made it!

Look! Look!

It's all over the place!

We're in Life magazine!

Yes, I saw us.

Oh, isn't that wonder...?
How about that?

Oh, it's just wonderful, Ricky.

We got more pages than the two-headed
alligator.

And the wonderful pictures of the
baby?

Yeah, wonderful.
Oh, boy.

Look at the picture of me at the
piano.

Isn't that good?

I got kind of a funny expression on
my face, though.

Oh, I don't know.

It isn't as funny as the expression
on my elbow.

Huh?

How did you like the pictures of me,
dear?

Oh, beautiful, honey.

I thought you never looked better.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, we ought to be

the happiest two people in the whole
world.

Well, the happiest one and a quarter
anyway.

What do you mean?

I hate to be the one to point this
out, Ricky,

but there's a certain loved one

whose picture does not appear in
there.

Who?

Me.

Oh, now, don't be silly, you're in
here.

I am?

Sure...

Oh, that's right, you're not.

(in mocking tone:)
Oh, that's right, you're not.

Well, gee, I'm sorry.

You don't have to get mad at me.

It's not my fault.

It is, too.

How can it be my fault?

They would have printed my picture,

but they didn't because I'm not
famous,

and the only reason I'm not famous

is because you've never given me an
opportunity

to display my talents.

Oh, no.

Now, Ricky, you listen to me...

Now, you listen to me.

If you don't mind,

I don't want to listen to either of
you.

Now, no low blows and watch your
kidney punches.

Go to your corners,

and when the door slams, come out
fighting.

And may the best man win.

(door slams)

Now, Ricky...
Now. listen...

I don't want to go into a long
discussion

of why you should be in show
business.

I will save you a lot of time and a
lot of breath.

I will give you an answer right now:
no.

But I want a career.

You have a career.

Being a mother is very important, you
know.

I know that, and it's only because of
Little Ricky

that I want to get my break in show
business.

Well, I know I'm going to be sorry I
asked this,

but how do you figure?

Well, you just think ahead a little
bit.

When Little Ricky goes to school

and some of his playmates asks

who his parents are...
Yeah?

just what is he going to have to say?

"My father is Ricky Ricardo,

"the internationally known
entertainer,

"and then there's my mother,

whose name escapes me for the
moment."

Oh, the poor, poor child.

Yeah, well.
(baby cries)

You see?
He heard me.

He's so humiliated he's crying
already.

Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.

Hiya, Fred.

Hey!

Aren't you the fella

that I saw in Life's magazine today?

Gosh!

Could I get your autograph?

Oh, shut up, Fred.

What's the matter, Rick?

Gosh, I thought you'd be feeling
great

after all that publicity.

Well, do you happen to notice that
they didn't put

one of Lucy's pictures in the
magazine?

So what? The spread was about you.

Well, that's what she's mad about.

She said if I hadn't kept her out of
show business,

the spread would have been about both
of us.

Oh, now, don't tell me:

So she wants to get the act again,
huh?

To put it mildly, yeah.

Well, it's all your own fault.

Not you, too.

Well, I've always felt

that you handled the thing wrong,
Rick.

Huh?

How much did Lucy pay you

to come in here and say that?

Oh, now, don't get me wrong.

She's like a million other people

that are trying to break into show
business.

All they see is the glamour and the
stardom.

So?

So, why don't you give her a job,

and let her see

how much good, hard work there is in
it?

Hey...

you might got something there.

Yeah.

That's a wonderful idea.

Sure.

Yes, sir.

I think that's a good idea.

I will give her a job in the show.

Sure, give her a job-- even if it's a
job in the chorus.

Please, Fred, how dare you say that?

I'll make her a star.

Then she'll really find out what hard
work is.

Mmm, Ricky, you can be a meanie when
you want to be.

Listen, I'll tell you what.

Yeah?

Go over to your apartment

and call me on the telephone, will
you?

Okay. Who am I supposed to be?

It doesn't matter.
Just ring and then I'll take it from
there.

All right.
Okay?

All right.
Thank you, Fred.

You're welcome.

(chuckles)

Hurry up.

I will.

(mouthing words)

(phone rings)

Hello?

What do you mean, I need one more
dancer?

Oh, I see.

Well, what do you want-- a blond or a
brunette?

Oh, a redhead.

I see.

A redhead.

Well, I don't know.

I think I'd rather have a brunette.

Well...

maybe you're right.

Maybe a redhead would be better.

Yeah.

Listen, how tall a dancer do you
want?

A small one?

Oh, a tall one, huh?

Well, look,

in comparison to my height,

where should she come to?

Here or here...?

I mean, I don't see exactly what you
mean.

Oh, right about here.

Uh-huh.

Well, if I can think of anybody,

I'll give you a ring.

All right, good-bye, Jerry.

Good-bye.

Look, Ricky-- medium height, red hair

and a dancing fool.

You couldn't possibly mean you

for the dancing part in the show?

Ricky, please?

Please, baby doll, please?

Oh, no, no, honey.

That's completely out of the
question.

Oh, but why?

Well... well, I must admit

that physically you are just right
for it.

Uh...

No, no.

But you just said I was just right.

Yeah, I know, but, honey, it's a big
part.

It's-It's a lot of dancing in it.

Very... a lot of hard work.

You couldn't take it.

Oh, yes, I could.

I'll work day and night.
I know I could.

I'm ready, coach.
Send me in.

Well...

Okay, you talked me into it.

Oh, Ricky!
You're wonderful!

Oh, thank you, honey.

(playing upbeat big-band number)

Okay, boys.

Lucy!

Are you ready to rehearse your
number?

LUCY: Yeah, I'm coming.

Ladies and gentlemen,

our new star!

(cheering)

("The Sidewalks of New York" plays)

Oh!

Oh, I got a little crick in my
muscle.

You know, I've been working awful
hard.

She sure has, Ricky.

We've been rehearsing six hours a day

for the last three days.

Well, good, good.

Oh, I liked it, though.

I liked every minute of it.

Well, that's fine, because I'd like

to rehearse your number right now.

Do you know, do you know the number?

Well, I learned all the steps,

but I haven't gone through the whole
routine.

I see. Well, it's what we call a
challenge routine.

What?

A challenge routine.

You see, I do a step,

and then when I finish, I go like
this

and that means you take it.

Then you do a step,

and when you finish, you go like
that,

and that means that I take it.

Uh-huh.
And so on.

Oh, I've seen them do that.

Well, there's nothing to it.

Uh, yeah.
Okay, are you ready?

Uh-huh.
Okay.

All right, boys, we start the
challenge routine off

from the very top.
Come over here.

The entrance, you stand behind me,
see,

and you start with the right foot.

Yeah, I know.
All right?

Boys, are you ready?

One, two!

(fast two-step plays)

(slow soft-shoe number plays)

(fast swing music plays)

(soft-shoe number continues)

(swing music continues)

(soft-shoe number continues)

(swing music continues)

(music stops)

Listen, how come I'm doing all the
dancing?

Well, honey, you are the star.

Oh, that's right.

(swing music continues)

(soft-shoe number continues)

(swing music continues)

What's the matter?

Nothing.

I'm fine.

Well, that's good, you know.

We've got to learn this number today.

We've got about two more hours of
rehearsal yet.

That's all right.
Go ahead, I'm ready.

All right.

Okay, on your feet now.
Let's go.

(moans)

Here, here, I'll help you, honey.

Up you go. Come on.
Up you go.

Oh... Up she goes.

Oh!

Oop!

Now, here we go now.

Let's get up.

You all right?

Yes, sir.

Okay.

Let's take it from the very top.

All right?

It's no use, boy, I can't do it.

I can't do it.

Here, honey, I'll help you up.

Up...
up you go now.

Up.

Now, you see, honey, I was afraid of
this.

You see, all you were thinking was

about the glamour and the stardom.

You never realized how much hard work

goes into show business.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

I'm sorry I let you down.

I'd just like to go home and rest,
thank you.

All right, honey.

Look, now, don't forget...

don't forget I gave you your big
chance.

Oh, yes, honey.
You were wonderful.

I'm pooped.

Now, honey...
Honey, I...

I wish there was something else

for you to do in the show,

but there isn't, you know.

Oh, that's all right.
I understand.

Hey, Ricky, you still need a girl

in that balcony during the Spanish
scene.

What girl?

What balcony?

Honey, honey, honey, look, look,
look...

What girl?

Honey, you wouldn't like it.

Look, all she does is just sit in the
balcony

and holds a rose in her teeth.

All she does is just sit there?

Yeah.

Can I do it, Ricky?

Oh, you wouldn't want to do that,
honey.

Oh, yes, I would, yes, I would.
Really.

I told everybody I was going to be in
the show,

and I promise if you let me do it
this time,

I'll never ask you again.

Look, I'm a real good sitter, see?

You really promise?

I promise.

Okay.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

Oh, hi, honey.

Hi. What are you two doing here?
Hi, Luce.

Where's Mrs. Trumbull?

She had to go visit her sister

so Fred and I are baby-sitting.

Oh, swell.
How is the baby?

He's fine.
He's still asleep.

Oh, that's good.

(sighs)

How's the rehearsal going?

Fine.

What's that for?

My part in the show.

See, I sit up on the balcony and hold
a rose in my teeth

and Ricky sings a number to me.

Is that all you do in the show?

Well, it's a very important part.

The whole number revolves around me.

I didn't think he'd have nerve enough
to go through with it.

Go through with what?

Well, he was going to pretend to star
you in a big dance number

and then rehearse you so hard you'd
get tired and quit.

What?

Well, don't get sore.
He didn't do it.

The heck he didn't!

And thanks for telling me.

Me and my big blabbermouth.

So, he let me do all that dancing

and he had no intention of putting me
in the show, huh?

But you said you were in the show.

Oh, sure, all I do is sit there and
hold a rose.

I might as well be a vase.

But you said you had a big important
part

and you said you were doing all
right.

What do you do, write down everything
I say?

I'll get even with him, the bum!

Oh, Lucy...

do me a favor, will you?

Don't tell Ricky I told you.

Fred, I'll do you a favor on one
condition:

What's that, I'm afraid?

You will help me get even with him.

Uh-oh.

Listen, I remember you told me

about a vaudeville act you used to
have.

Now, there's a certain part of that
act

that I think I can use...

if you will enlighten me on a few
facts.

(harp plays)

(playing "Lady of Spain")

RICKY: Night in Madrid, blue and
tender

Spanish moon made silver splendor

Music throbbing plaintive, sobbing
notes

Of a guitar

While ardent caballeros serenade.

Lady of Spain, I adore you

Right from the night I first saw you

My heart has been yearning for you

What else could any heart do?

(enthusiastic applause)

Lady of Spain, I'm appealing

Why should my lips be concealing

All that my eyes are revealing?

Lady of Spain, I love you.

(applause)

Paso doble, paso doble.

("Lady of Spain" plays faster)

Lady of Spain, I'm appealing

Why should my lips be concealing?

All that my eyes are revealing

Lady of Spain, I love you.

(enthusiastic applause)

Thank you.

"Loveliest Night of the Year."

When you are in love

It's the loveliest night of the year

Stars twinkle above

And you almost can touch them from
here

Words fall into rhyme

Every time you are holding me near

When you are in love

It's the loveliest night of the year

(music swells)

Waltzing along in the blue

Like a breeze drifting over the sand

Thrilled by the wonder of you

And the wonderful touch of your hand

And...

My heart starts to beat

Like a child when a birthday is near

So kiss me, my sweet

It's the loveliest night of the
year...

Don't you touch those wires!

Don't you touch those wires!

Let me down!

Ladies... don't you touch those
wires!

Ladies and gentlemen, my version of
"Babalu."

Ay-ay-ay-ay.

(screams)

Ricky!

Babalu...

(I Love Lucy theme music plays)

ANNOUNCER: I Love Lucy is a Desilu
production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz

will be back next week at this same
time.

This is the CBS television network.