I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 2, Episode 6 - Vacation from Marriage - full transcript

Morning, Lucy.

Oh, hey!

I'll be right there, Ethel.

What did you lock the door for?

I almost broke my neck.

I just wanted to see
what would happen

if I did something
different for a change.

What are you talking about?

Life.

I've just been
thinking about life.

Ethel, Ricky and I
are in a terrible rut.



What do you mean?

Everything has become routine.

We do the same
dull thing every day.

We see the same dull people.

Thanks a lot.

I didn't mean you.

It's just that nothing
new ever happens.

Why, I can tell everything
Ricky's going to say and do

before he does it.

Ah, can you?

Wait till he wakes
up. You'll see.

He'll call, "Hey, Lucy, is
the coffee percolated yet?"

Then he'll come into
the kitchen half asleep

looking like a zombie...



stagger over to the stove...

say, "Oh, I could
have slept all day..."

scratch his leg while he
pours some coffee for himself...

kiss the air in my
general direction...

stagger off into the bedroom.

It isn't funny, Ethel.

It's tragic.

I know it is.

You know, I just realized

I can do exactly the
same thing with Fred.

I'll bet you can.

Right now

he's sitting down
with the morning paper

to do the crossword puzzle.

And just about this time

he's discovered he
can't find his glasses.

So he'll call to me...

Ethel!

He hasn't varied five
minutes in 22 years.

I'm up here, Fred!

He won't find his
glasses up here.

Oh, yes, he will.

They'll be on top of his head.

You're kidding.

And when I tell him, he'll say

"Hmm. If they'd been a snake,

they'd a bit me."

He hasn't been
saying the same thing

for 22 years?

22...

Hi.

Well, you're in a jolly
mood this morning.

Ethel, have you seen

my glasses?

Well, it must be hilarious

that I can't read
without my glasses.

Oh, it's not that, Fred.

It's just that...

What a sense of humor.

I'll go break my leg and
give you a real laugh.

Ah, wait a minute, Fred.

Your glasses are
on top of your head.

Huh? Well, how do you like that?

If they'd been a
snake, they'd a bit me.

Lucy!

Lucy, is the coffee
percolated yet?

I could have slept all day.

It's fantastic, Lucy.

Ricky and Fred are cut
out of the same mold.

Yeah, and they're
getting moldier all the time.

What are we going
to do about them?

Them? What about us?

We're just as bad as they are.

We've all let ourselves
become four big, dull clunks.

You know, I think you're right.

Sure, I'm right.

And tonight, instead
of playing canasta,

we're going to sit down

and figure out the quickest
way to de-clunk ourselves.

Do you all realize that
we're in a terrible rut?

In a rut?

What are you talking about?

The four of us have
allowed ourselves

to deteriorate.

Yeah.

We have become
stuffy, moldy, and musty.

We are knee-deep
in a pool of stagnation.

Now, what are we
going to do about it?

Well, I don't know
about the rest of you,

but I'm going to go
and take a shower.

Never mind being funny.

Now, sit down.

We're serious.

We certainly are.

Our lives have
become a stale routine.

We do the same
thing in the same way.

We know each other like a book.

Well, honey, that's only normal.

After you're
married for 11 years,

you're supposed to know
each other like a book.

It's the same after 25 years,

only the cover gets
more dog-eared.

Listen, the kind of routine
we're in is not normal.

Now, Ethel and I went down
to the library this afternoon

and we found a lot of books

on the subject.

And?

And the books all agree.

This one states
it as well as any.

"There are times
when married couples

let their lives fall
into set patterns."

That's exactly what's
happened to us.

Right.

"The only thing to
do in a case like this

"is for the marital partners

to spend some time
away from each other."

What?

Please.

"Change your
whole way of living.

"Take a week's
vacation from marriage

"and don't even see
your husband or wife.

"Vacation from marriage

will give you both a
whole new perspective."

So?

So Ethel and I are going
to spend a week away

from you and Fred.

You mean I won't see
you for a whole week?

That's right.

And you won't see me

for a whole week, Fred.

Well, I'll make the sacrifice.

Come on. Are you
crazy or something?

What are you going
to do, leave town?

No, not necessarily.

I'll go downstairs
and live with Ethel.

Fred can come up
here and live with you,

and we'll just
lead our own lives.

We just won't see
each other, that's all.

Isn't this going to be fun?

We can sleep as
late as we want to

go shopping, call
up our old girlfriends.

Yeah, we'll be just a
couple of bachelor girls.

I don't like the sound
of this whole thing.

Now, wait a minute, Rick.

You don't understand.

If they're going to
be bachelor girls,

we're bachelor boys.

Hey, that's right.

You might have
something at that in there.

Yeah.

Well, good-bye, Fred.

Good-bye, Ethel.

Good-bye, Ricky.

Good-bye. I'll be seeing you.

Well, Lucy, what
do we do tonight?

Oh, I don't care.

What do you want to do?

How about going to a movie?

Again? We've been to five
movies already this week.

Well, it's Saturday night

and I don't feel
like staying home.

Well, neither do I.

Maybe we can call somebody.

Who?

We called up all
our old girlfriends.

They're all married.

Yeah.

They'll all be with
their husbands

on Saturday night.

Yeah, they're all in that
awful rut we used to be in.

Yeah.

They don't know what fun it is

to be on their own like us.

Yippee.

Ethel...

Huh?

Well, nothing personal, but...

I'm sick of the
sight of your face.

Well, you should try it from
out here looking at yours.

If you think this
has been any...

All right, all right.

Let's not fight among ourselves.

We're all we've got.

How true.

Gee, I wonder what the
boys are doing tonight.

I wonder.

Ethel, let's swallow our pride

and go up and admit
that we miss the big dopes.

Oh, no, Lucy.

They'd never let
us hear the end of it.

No?

I know what we should do.

What?

We should get all dressed up

like we're going
out on a mad date,

and then we should
go up and I should say

that I want to get some
of my good perfume.

Yeah, then what?

Well, then when they
see us all dressed up

and they think we're going out,

they'll get insanely jealous

and they'll demand
that we go out with them.

Fred get insanely jealous?

Listen, if they're
as bored as we are,

we'll even look good to them.

Now, come on, let's get dressed.

Well, there's no new movies.

We've seen them all.

You know something, Fred?

I hate to admit this,

but I'd like to
see Lucy tonight.

I can top that.

I'd like to see Ethel.

You know, if there
was only some way

that we could ask them

without they thinking

that we really miss them.

What could that be?

Good evening.

Oh, hello.

I'm sorry to barge in like this,

but I wondered if I could get
some of my good perfume.

Why, sure. Come in. Won't you?

Come right in.

Gee, don't you look pretty.

Thank you.

You, too, Ethel.

Thank you, Frederick.

We were just talking about you.

You were?

You were?!

Um, I hope you boys
are going to have

as gay an evening as we are.

Oh, yes.

We've been invited
to 21 for dinner.

Oh, Ethel, 21 again?

That's what the boys said... 21.

Oh, dear.

Well, we mustn't be late.

I better get the perfume.

Pardon me, please.

You, uh...

you two really been
living it up, huh?

Oh, yes.

We've been to 21
four times this week.

That's 84.

Well, come on, Ethel.

So long, boys.

So long.

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Sorry we have to
rush off like this.

Ethel, promise me
something, will you?

Um, let's be sensible tonight.

Let's get in before 4:00 a.m.

Okay, I promise.

Okay.

Well, so long, boys.

So long, girls.

We could stay and chat

for just a little while.

No. We'll be late.

You understand how it is.

Yeah, we know how it is.

We have dates ourselves.

Don't we, Fred?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh.

Well, so long.

Well, how do you
like it here at 21?

Très gay.

Where do you
suppose the boys went?

I told you 50 times.

It's as plain as the
nose on your face.

They didn't have
any place to go.

They just said that

because they thought
we were going out.

Now, let's hear no
more about it, shall we?

Okay.

Okay.

You think I'm right, don't you?

I don't know.

I wish I could be sure.

I'd sleep a lot better

if I knew they
were safely up there

worrying about us.

Come on.

Where?

We're going sneak
up the back way

and peek in our apartment.

Once we know the boys are there,

I think we'll
sleep a lot better.

Hey, Rick, why don't
you come on to bed.

You go to sleep, Fred.

Don't worry about me.

I'm not.

The slap of the cards

keeps me awake.

Fred, you're just
as worried as I am,

aren't you?

You know something, Rick?

I bet they didn't go
out with anybody at all.

They're just faking.

Yeah, well, I tried

to talk myself
into that one too.

No, I mean it.

If they had had a date,

they wouldn't have come up here

and made such a
big to-do about it.

Yeah. Ethel did
kind of sort of want

to stick around
and chat, didn't she?

You know something,

I bet if we went
down there right now

and rang the bell,
they'd answer it.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

If we go down there
and ring the bell

they'd know that we
didn't have any dates.

Let's go ring the bell

and then hide around the corner.

Yeah, and if they answer,

we know it's them.

Right.

Let's go. Come on.

Oh, Ethel, I was wrong.

They're not in there.

I guess they did have dates.

Oh, where do you
suppose they are?

I don't know.

Go on. Let's go back downstairs.

Let's not go down the back way.

It's too cold.

Fine thing.

They're out someplace
having the time of their lives.

How did I know they
really had dates?

That's them. It's the boys.

They're coming upstairs.

Come on, down the back way.

Oh. It's locked.

Where do we go?

The roof.

The roof?

I just want to know
who they went out with.

Yeah, so do I.

Well, I'm going to find out too.

How?

Well, I'm going
to stay right here

and when I hear someone come in,

I'll look down and
see who Lucy's with.

I'm a little bit curious too.

Let's sit down here. Come on.

We'll wait right here.

Lucy, take another look.

Darn it, the watchdogs
are still there.

Oh, why don't they go on inside?

I'm getting cold.

Gee, me too.

It's pretty windy
up here, isn't it?

Oh, this is ridiculous.

I'm going downstairs.

Ethel, where's your pride?

I don't know, but
wherever it is, it's frozen.

Now, listen. Just stay in here.

It isn't so windy in here.

Now, let's just wait
a few more minutes.

Okay. That's long enough.

Lucy, it's stuck.

Let me try it.

Ethel, this isn't stuck.

It's locked from the inside.

Oh, fine. What do we do now?

Pound on it. Pound on the door.

Ricky?

Fred?

Ricky?

Fred? Open the door!

Oh, why don't they come
up and open the door?

You'll be glad to know

they finally gave
up and went inside.

Fine. What do we do now?

I don't know.

I'm getting cold.

So am I.

And I'm tired too.

Ethel?

Ethel, this isn't
getting us anyplace.

We got to... we got
to... we got to be brave.

Yeah. We've got to
get hold of ourselves.

Yeah. We got to
keep a stiff upper lip.

We got to find some way

to attract someone's
attention down on the street.

How?

I don't know.

I know.

What?

One of us could jump off

and... and then a
crowd would collect

and then she
could tell the people

that I was up here.

I hope you don't
think I'm a bum sport,

but let's think up another way.

Oh, look. There's a light

in that apartment
across the alley.

Oh, that's Mrs. Sanders.

I know her.

Mrs. Sanders!

Yoo-hoo!

Yoo-hoo! Mrs. Sanders!

Mrs. Sanders!

She can't hear us.

The windows are closed.

We got to attract her attention.

How?

Here.

That wasn't far enough.

That was far enough.

Too bad it wasn't
Mrs. Sanders' window.

Oh, darn it.

She turned off the light
and went in the other room.

Oh, boy. That was
a big waste of time.

No, it wasn't.

The exercise kind
of warmed me up.

Well, what do we do now?

Ethel!

What?

Our troubles are over.

Come here. Give me a hand.

Give you a hand?

Help me move this.

Move it where?

Look out, now.

Let it fall right there.

Then what?

Right there.

Push.

Push?

Push.

Push hard.

There.

There.

Put that box over here.

Put the other one on top of it.

There!

There what?

Yeah?

We walk across
there, and, and...

and go down the stairs
in the other building.

You mean walk across the board

five flights up?

Certainly.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

You do it.

Listen, Ethel.

I've already done
all the hard work.

I thought it up.

Now, all you have to do

is just tippy-toe
across the board.

Oh, no.

Listen, why don't
you think of this board

as a foot off the ground

instead of five flights up? Huh?

Then it will be a cinch.

If it's such a cinch, you do it.

All right.

Good girl!

Uh, come on.

Who me? Oh, no, Lucy.

I'm afraid to do it.

There's nothing to it.

Really. Come on.

Will you help me?

It's easy. Yeah.

Come on. It's safe.

Come on.

Come on.

Don't!

Don't look down!
Don't look down!

Don't look down.

Am I getting there, Lucy?

Yeah.

Am I almost there?

Yeah.

Wonder what time it is.

I wonder what year it is.

Oh! Ethel, it's raining.

Oh, fine.

Of all the things,
it has to rain too.

Oh, Lucy...

Look.

It isn't raining out there.

You see the pave..?

Ricky!

How did you get up there?

Same way you did.

How did you know
we were up here?

Mrs. Sanders across
the street phoned.

Well, what happened
to your dates?

What happened to your dates?

Never mind that.

This whole thing

was your idea.

Well, it was a lousy idea.

I don't like having a
vacation from marriage.

I want to be in a rut with you.

And I want to be
in a rut with you.