I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 2, Episode 28 - Lucy Wants New Furniture - full transcript

Ricky insists that Lucy use her allowance to pay for new furniture she bought without his approval.

Shh!

Shh... there we go.

Honey, isn't it wonderful

that little Ricky
has his own room

and we got all this space here?

Yeah, wonderful, dear.

I'm sure glad you
talked me into moving.

So am I.

Look at this beautiful place.

Oh, everything is just great.

Ugh!



What's the matter?

That ratty old couch

and that nasty-looking
coffee table...

They just don't belong
in this beautiful room.

Lucy, what's on your mind?

Nothing... nothing.

Now that you mention it,
though, I did see an ad today

for the most beautiful couch
and coffee table you've ever seen.

The couch was a three-piece...

No new couch, no
new coffee table.

Finish, closed.

Aw, gee, Ricky,

you should look at this ad.

It's the most beautiful couch



and coffee table
you've ever seen.

It's only $299, and...

Just forget it.

So, what are you doing that for?

I may have to
live with that couch

but I don't have to look at it.

I think any normal
person feels the way I do.

I'll bet Ethel Mertz thinks

that those two
pieces are just awful.

Have you been coaching
Ethel on what to say?

Certainly not, I haven't
even mentioned it.

I'd be ashamed to.

Hi, folks.

Hiya, Fred.

Hi, Lucy.

Hi, Ethel.

Ugh!

Oh, that ratty old couch

and that nasty
old coffee table...

They just don't
belong in this...

Hold it, hold
it, hold it, Ethel.

The performance
has been canceled.

No new furniture.

Why not?

Ask Mr. Ricardo.

Or as he is more commonly
known, Señor Tightwad.

All right, I'll tell
you what I'll do.

I'll leave it up to an
impartial observer.

Fred, what do you think

of this couch and
this coffee table?

What are you looking for?

The price tag... it's
brand-new, isn't it?

Isn't it sickening the
way men stick together?

Come on, Ethel, I don't like

the atmosphere around here.

"Brand-new, is it?
Where's the price tag?"

"Brand-new."

Well, it was a good
fight, Lucy, but you lost.

Gee, Ethel, this is terrible.

What am I going to do?

What do you mean,
what are you going to do?

He isn't going to buy
you any new furniture

so you'll just have
to live with the old.

You don't understand.

I went down to the
furniture store this afternoon

and, well, there was
a big sale on and...

You didn't.

Yes, I did.

They're delivering
it in the morning.

Oh, Lucy!

Do you suppose they
accept mothers with children

in the Foreign Legion?

Ethel, where have you been?

I've been trying
to find you all day.

I had some shopping to do...

Oh, Lucy!

Oh, it's just beautiful!

No, Ethel!

What's the matter?

Don't sit on it!

Well, that's what
it's for, isn't it?

Well, I know, but it's
much too pretty to sit on.

Well, all right,
but gently, huh?

Ha-ha! It's comfy, too.

Isn't that wonderful?

You should see the close
call I had this morning.

Ricky no sooner closed that door

than they delivered
the furniture.

They must have passed
each other in the hall.

Oh, what are you going to
do when he comes home?

Pray.

Well, good-bye, Lucy,

it's been nice knowing you.

Now...

The only plan I have
is to hide the furniture.

Hide it?

Yeah, that way, if he doesn't
see it the minute he walks in,

I may have a chance to
soften him up, you know.

Where are you going
to hide all this stuff?

Well, the bedroom is no good.

The bathroom... no.

Won't fit in that closet.

Let's put it in the kitchen.

He doesn't go in
there very often.

In the kitchen?

Yeah, it's the only place.

Come on, help me, will you?

Okay.

Get a hold of the other end.

That's right, now, all together:

one, two, three, four!

Oh! Oh!

Oh, I forgot, it's in sections.

Just help me with this piece.

All right.

There.

Ready?

Yeah.

Oh, come on, push, Ethel!

I am pushing.

Well, push harder.

There must be
something in the way.

Yeah, my fingers.

Well, I don't understand.

We got the other two
sections out here all right.

What's the matter?

I'm coming around to your
side and help you push.

Maybe that'll do it.

Where are you going?

I'm going through
your apartment.

Okay, now, let's
both have at it.

All right, now level off.

There it goes... oh.

Go that way.

It's stuck again.

Yeah, it's stuck on
the edge of the sink.

Oh...

Look, I can get the door closed;

that'll at least hide it.

Let's get your old
furniture and put it back

so Ricky won't suspect anything.

All right.

I'll help you push it out here.

Watch out for your hands.

Okay.

There.

There we are.

Now, where's the
rest of your furniture?

Lucy?

Where's your old
couch and coffee table?

They took it in the down
payment for the new stuff.

You just going to leave

this great big hole in the room?

Well, it's better than having
a great big hole in my head.

That's what would
happen if Ricky came home

and saw all that new furniture.

Can I stick around and watch?

No.

Why don't you sell tickets?

This is going to
be the best fight

since Dempsey fought Willard.

I know what I'll do...

I'll serve dinner out here.

That'll hide the fact

that some of the
furniture is missing.

How you going to get
in and out of the kitchen?

Oh...

I won't... I'll have
everything we need

right out on the
table before we start.

Oh, I haven't got much time.

Will you get the card
table out of the closet?

And the tablecloth, too.

Oh!

Hi, honey!

Oh, hi, dear.

Did you have a nice day?

Yeah, wonderful, honey.

That's good.

Well!

Oh, I thought we'd eat

in the living room
tonight, dear.

You know, it's nice
and cozy and comfy.

Sure, that's a wonderful idea.

What happened?
Something's missing.

It is?

The couch and the
coffee table are gone!

Oh, so they are.

Well, where are they?

Gee, I don't know, they
were here a minute ago.

I wonder where they went.

Here, couch, here, coffee table!

Here, coffee table!

Here, coffee table,
here, coffee table!

Lucy...

What have you done with
the couch and the coffee table?

I sold them.

I'd rather have nothing

than look at that junk.

Uh-huh... I can see
through your little scheme.

I know what you've done.

You do?

You figured that if
you sold the old stuff,

I'm going to buy you
some new furniture.

Well, now that you mention it,

that was my little scheme.

It won't work.

Well, I'm glad I didn't spend

too much time on it, then.

Well, let's talk about
it after dinner, huh?

After dinner.

Yeah.

All right.

Oh.

You see, it's kind
of nice having dinner

in the living room for a change,

don't you think?

I think so... looks good, too.

Where's the butter?

Butter?

Yeah, butter.

What do you want to do with it?

I thought I'd put
some on my bread.

Butter on bread?

Yeah.

I'll never get used to your
strange Cuban dishes.

Okay, I'll get it myself.

Mmm!

Never mind, I'll get it.

Where are you going?

Uh... uh, I'm all out of butter.

I'll have to borrow
some from Ethel.

Butter.

Thanks a lot, Ethel.

Good old Ethel... I don't
know what I'd do without her.

Well, thank you, honey.

That's all right.

Steak sure looks good.

Yeah.

Honey, these are the
wrong kind of knives.

Can I have a steak knife?

Steak knife?

Yes.

Oh, here, I'll cut it for you.

No, thank you, Mother,

just get me a steak knife, huh?

Oh, you don't
need a steak knife.

Just pick it up in
your fingers like this.

It's good for your teeth.

Nice and strong.

No?

I'll get a steak knife.

Now where are you going?

Well, we... we... we, uh...

Our steak knives are very dull.

I'll have to get Ethel's.

Steak knife.

Oh, thank you.

Salt cellar is empty.

Ooh!

Will you get me some, please?

Well, uh... I, uh...

I loaned Ethel our salt.

I'll have to go get some.

I wish you'd told me sooner.

Now, Ricky...

Okay...

Let's have it.

I don't mean that.

You deliberately went out
and bought that furniture

after I told you not to.

No, I didn't.

I bought it before
you told me not to.

And who did you think
was going to pay for it?

Well, I was hoping that a
certain handsome, generous,

kind, generous, wonderful,
generous husband

whom we all know and love...

Lucy...

You going to
take that stuff back

to the furniture store
tomorrow morning,

do you understand?

Well, yes, sir, I understand,

but I don't know
that the store will.

I got it on sale.

Oh... you got it on sale.

Yes, sir.

All right... do you know
what I'm going to do?

Yes... Do you mind
if I close my eyes?

I can't stand the
sight of blood.

Never mind that.

As long as we have
to keep that furniture,

you are going to pay for
it out of your allowance.

Oh, Ricky, that's wonderful!

Just a minute.

I'll pay the store for it.

And I'll pay you.

Right.

But I'm taking it to the club

and putting it in my office.

When you save enough money,

you can buy it back from me.

Oh, Ricky, that's $299.

I'll be an old lady before
I save that much money.

Well, at least you know

that you're going to have

a nice sectional couch

to rest on in your old age.

Well, that's true.

You can save it; you
can save the money.

All you got to do is to
learn how to economize.

You waste a lot of money

out of your allowance
every month.

You've got to learn the
value of a dollar, Lucy.

You'll be surprised how soon
you can save that much money.

But I want the furniture now.

The place looks
awful without it.

Well, I can stand it;
it doesn't bother me.

You'll get the furniture
when I get my money.

All right, Ricky, I'll
buy it back from you.

I'll economize...
You wait and see.

Good.

Salt?

Thank you.

Morning, honey.

Oh, good morning, dear.

Breakfast is all ready.

Good, I'm starved.

What is this?

That's your orange juice.

We're economizing, dear.

We're cutting
down on everything.

Oh, but don't worry, we have
eggs and sausage coming up.

Well, they were
in here someplace.

Oh, there you are!

See this?

This makes it seem
like more... see, dear?

Lucy, now, you listen...

Oh, I forgot the toast.

Want some butter on it?

Lucy, I am not amused.

No?

No... when I told
you to economize,

I didn't mean by
starving me to death.

You leave me the way I am.

Cut down on some
of your "stravagances."

What kind of "stravagances"?

You know what kind...

Like going to the beauty parlor

and buying too many clothes.

And cleaning.

Yeah, cleaning...

The dry cleaning bills in
this place are ridiculous.

Well, you don't have to worry,
dear; I thought about that.

I'm cleaning all of your
dirty suits here at home.

My suits!

Yeah, I've already started...

There's one in the sink.

Oh, no, you didn't.

You didn't put one of
my good... in the sink...

Yeah.

Oh, no, Lucy, it's ruined!

Look at this!

Don't worry, dear,
I was practicing

on one of your old suits.

Okay.

Just for being so smart,

that is going to cost
you another $100.

You now owe me $399.

Would you care
to shoot for $400?

You can't charge me
$100 for a stale old suit.

Can't I?

Aw, Ricky, please

I'll be serious, I'll economize.

I won't buy any more clothes

and I'll stop going
to the beauty parlor...

After Saturday night.

What do you mean,
after Saturday night?

Well, the Carrolls are
giving that big party

at the club... you know.

I have to have a new dress

and I'll get my
farewell permanent.

No.

No?

Well, if I make my dress
myself, can I get the permanent?

No.

No?

Well, if I give
myself a permanent,

can I buy the dress?

No.

Well, if I give myself
the permanent

and make the dress myself,
will you go back to $299?

Yeah, that I'll do.

If you do that, that means
that you mean business.

I only hope that you're serious.

Oh, I am, I am,
Ricky, I'm serious.

Can't you tell by
the way I look?

Hi, honey.

Hi.

How you doing?

Oh, fine, I've got my
dress almost all cut out.

What are you cutting with?

A razor blade.

A razor blade!

Why don't you use scissors?

Well, I tried to,

but they wouldn't cut.

Manicuring scissors.

Well, that's all I had.

Gee, I sure am impressed.

I never made a dress in my life.

Oh, there's nothing to it.

How's your home
permanent coming?

Okay, I guess.

Oh, boy!

Hey, how about that?

I rented that sewing machine.

Isn't that a dilly?

You know how to run it?

Oh, sure, it's simple.

The booklet says even
a child could operate it.

Let's see.

"First thread the bobbin."

Do you have any idea
what a bobbin looks like?

I'd better turn it on...
Maybe I can tell that way.

Oh... that must be it...
It's bobbin' up and down.

Hey, Lucy, look at this chart.

That's not the bobbin at all.

Ethel, will you go home?

Why?

I want to make this
dress all by myself

And I want to surprise you.

Oh, okay, I'll see you later.

Okay, come back
in a couple of hours.

All right.

Lucy?

Just a minute, Mrs. Mertz!

I'm trying on my new dress!

Hurry up, I can
hardly wait to see it.

What do you think?

I give up, what is it?

Pretty bad, isn't it?

I was hoping it
would look different

when I tried it on.

Well, it's different, all right.

Well, you don't have
to get nasty about it.

After all, I made it
with my own two hands.

It looks like you made
it with your own two feet.

If it weren't so true,
I'd get mad at that.

How are you, Fred?

All right, thanks.

Hi!

Hi, Lucy.

Hi.

What's the matter with you?

Honey, what are you doing?

She's got on the dress she made.

Oh, come on, let us see it.

Yeah, come on out

and let's see the new creation.

No.

Oh, come on, Lucy,
you might as well.

Oh...

Oh, honey... come
on, sweetheart.

Don't cry, honey.

It's tough making a dress,

and this is your first try.

Well, I wanted it to be so
nice so I could save money.

You saved money by giving
yourself a home permanent.

Well, I don't...

My permanent!

I forgot all about it!

Oh, my goodness!

It's only supposed
to be on 20 minutes.

How long has it been on?

Five hours!

That's the funniest dress

I ever saw in my life.

Oh, now, you guys shouldn't
have made fun of her.

She worked awful
hard cutting that out.

Wasn't that something?

It looked like a
sack of potatoes

tied in the middle.

Oh, Fred, she tried real hard.

Oh, I can't...

Oh, we got to
stop, it'd be awful...

No, no, now

she can't come back out

and find us all laughing.

Now, quiet down.

All right.

Oh, honey...

Well, Little Orphan Annie.

Oh, honey, what a shame.

It's all right, I've
always wanted

to look like a chrysanthemum.

Don't cry, sweetheart

Don't cry.

There must be
something you can do.

She can enter her
head in the flower show.

Now, honey...

Lucy, you can go to the
beauty parlor tomorrow

and maybe they can fix it up.

I can't go to the beauty
parlor... I can't afford it.

Yes, you can, honey.

I can?

Yes... you can go
to the beauty parlor,

and you can buy
yourself a new dress.

Oh, Ricky, really?

As a matter of
fact, you look so sad

I'll bring the couch and
the coffee table back home.

Oh, honey, Oh, thank you!

Do you forgive
me for everything?

Yes, sweetheart, everything.

Oh, the furniture and the dress

and the suit and the rug?

Oh, that's wonderful.

Wait a minute... the rug?

Yeah... remember you said

you forgave me for everything.

I know, I forgive
you for everything,

that's all right,

but what is this about the rug?

Well, when I cut out my dress,

I guess I cut

a little too deep.

Oh!

I Love Lucy is a
Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi
Arnaz will be back next week

at this same time.

This is the CBS
television network.