I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 2, Episode 19 - The Club Election - full transcript
Lucy and Ethel run against each other for President of their women's club.
Hi, Ricky.
Oh, hi, Ethel.
Come in.
Aw... hi, sweetie.
Where's Lucy?
She went out shopping.
Do you know that
this little character
has already
outgrown his clothes?
No kidding?
Come on.
Oh, isn't he a little doll?
Hi.
Hey, Ricky, he keeps
looking at me with one eye.
Don't you wish he'd
just stay like this?
Yeah.
Anything special on your mind?
Yeah, I came up to tell Lucy
that the Wednesday
Afternoon Fine Arts League
is meeting on Friday this week.
The Wednesday
Afternoon Fine Arts League
is meeting on Friday. Yeah.
I thought you always
met on Thursday.
Oh, no, we never
met on Thursday.
We usually meet on Tuesday.
Well, look, this is probably
a very stupid question
but why couldn't the Wednesday
Afternoon Fine Arts League
meet on Wednesday?
Oh, we tried it, but
nobody could make it.
Wednesday afternoon isn't
a good day for club meetings.
That figures.
Why don't you forget about
the meetings altogether?
Oh, now, Ricky,
don't pick on our club.
It's really a very
worthwhile organization.
Nobody asked your opinion.
He's going to grow
up to be just like you.
Oh, I guess the
club is all right, Ethel,
but, you know, if Lucy
wouldn't get so involved in it.
Every time she gets
into it, I get into it, too.
Well, there's nothing
to get into this time.
We're just going
to nominate officers.
Oh, no.
You said it, kid.
What do you mean, you said it?
Don't you remember what
happened on the last nominations?
Oh, that.
Yes, that.
Hey, Lucy, what's going on?
Oh, my women's club
is meeting here today.
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.
Why do they have to
meet here all the time?
Oh, honey, they haven't
met here for three months.
We're taking turns until
we can afford a clubhouse.
Honey, you don't
need a clubhouse.
Why don't you meet
on the back fence
like other cats do?
Never mind now.
This is a very important
meeting, especially for me.
We're nominating candidates
for the club election.
I'll probably be
nominated for every office.
I've acceptance speeches
written for all of them.
Oh, you feel pretty
sure of yourself, huh?
Well, honey, I know how the
girls feel about me, that's all.
You think you're going to be
elected for some office, huh?
Yeah, I'll be elected
for something, surely.
Well, maybe I'll get a break
and they'll elect you nothing.
Now, don't start on me
about my women's club.
Okay, okay, I'll go spend
the afternoon with Fred.
That's a good idea.
Hi, Ricky. Hi, Ethel.
Hi, Ethel.
Oh, Lucy, that's a
beautiful sweater.
Is it new?
Yeah, you like it?
It's gorgeous.
Ooh, cashmere?
Yeah, isn't that yummy?
Mm-hmm.
And look.
A bag to match.
Oh! Isn't that the end?
Of course, I won't be
able to afford another thing
for three months, but who cares?
Oh, dear, this terrible pitcher
and these cheap glasses.
Say, listen, Ethel,
you are going to vote
to admit Ruth Knickerbocker
into the club, aren't you?
I don't know.
Well, she'd be a wonderful
addition to the club.
You think so?
She seems sort of a quiet
and mousey type to me.
Yeah, well, under
that mousey exterior
beats a cut glass
punch bowl and 20 cups.
Oh...
That's the kind of a
woman we need in our club.
That's the way I feel about it.
Oh, there they are,
the thundering herd.
Lucy!
Lillian! Hi!
Hi, how are you?
Ethel, how are you?
Lucy, that sweater,
it's stunning.
Oh, thank you.
Look.
Oh, no, look at
that bag to match.
Oh, what an outfit!
You know, I've been
just dying for one.
Well, I got it...
Don't tell me.
I know how expensive they
are, and I just can't afford it.
All right, I won't tell you.
Oh, say, listen, before
the others get here,
have you heard the
dirt about Marion?
Marion Strong?
Yes! What?
Oh, let me tell you.
You know how she's always
trying to pretend she's somebody?
Oh, do I.
Well, she finally got
her comeuppance.
What happened? She did?
Well, let me tell you.
I ran into her on the
street the other day,
and she had on the most...
Marion! Marion!
Oh, hi.
Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
Lucy, you have new furniture.
The whole thing is new.
Lucy, I got you a chair.
We're all ready to start.
Girls?
Ladies, ladies.
Shh.
Ladies.
The meeting will come to order.
Now, we'll skip the
minutes of the last meeting
and get right down to business.
Madam President.
Yes, Lillian.
I would like to submit the
name of Ruth Knickerbocker
for membership in our club.
I think that's a wonderful idea.
Very well. You all had a chance
to meet Ruth at
our last meeting,
so if there's no more
discussion, we'll vote.
All those in favor of
asking Ruth Knickerbocker
to join our club say aye.
Aye.
Noes?
No noes.
Ruth Knickerbocker...
Ruth Knickerbocker is
now a member of our club.
And now, the
election of officers.
The chair will
entertain nominations
for the office of Treasurer.
Yes. The chair
recognizes Pauline Lobos.
Well, Madam President, I would
like to nominate for Treasurer
one of our most
conscientious members.
Now this girl really
deserves an office in our club.
She's a wonderful
person and a fine character
and a real leader...
Grace Munson.
Me?
Are there any more nominations?
Oh, Grace, you'll make
a wonderful Treasurer.
Of course, I
wouldn't be Treasurer
if they handed it to
me on a silver platter.
You wouldn't?
Terrible job.
And now nominations are
open for the office of Secretary.
The chair recognizes
Marion Strong.
I nominate a member who...
well, she's just about the
most wonderful person.
She's the loyalest
person in the club
and she's always
ready to lend a hand
when you ask her to.
She's intelligent, pretty
and one of the nicest
persons you could ever meet
my very dear, dear friend,
Lillian Appleby.
Lillian!
Are there any more nominations?
Oh, Lillian, you'll make
a wonderful Secretary.
Secretary is really a very
thankless job, you know.
Oh, is it?
Very.
Now, let me hear nominations
for the office of Vice President.
Madam President.
Chair recognizes
Lillian Appleby.
For the office of
Vice President,
I would like to nominate a
girl who really deserves the job.
A girl who will
fight for our club.
You can tell that from
the color of her hair.
My very dearest, dearest friend,
Marion Strong.
Are there any more
nominations for Vice President?
Oh, Marion, you'll make a
wonderful Vice President.
Vice President's merely
a figurehead, you know.
Oh, really?
They work in name only. Oh.
And now we come
to the most
important office of all...
The presidency.
As far as I'm concerned
there's only one person
who should follow me
in the office of President.
She has administrative ability,
she's charming, makes
a good appearance.
In fact, she'll be a
wonderful President,
and I'm so sure that you're all
going to elect her unanimously
that I want to be the
first to shake the hand
of our next president.
Ethel Mertz!
Ethel Mertz?
Yes.
Oh, I don't...
Please let us come to order now.
Ladies. Ladies.
I'm sure there will be no
more nominations for President.
So I hereby declare
the nominations...
Uh, Madam President.
Yes, the chair
recognizes Mrs. Ricardo.
I think that there should be
some more nominations
for presidency.
Why, Lucy...
Oh, it isn't that I don't feel
that you'll make a
wonderful president, Ethel.
It's just that I feel that
the more democratic way
is to have more
than one nominee.
It doesn't matter who it
is, just so there are two.
You understand.
Well... yeah.
Well, do I hear
another nomination
for President?
Since there are no more
nominations for President,
I hereby declare the nomina...
Madam President.
Yes, Lucy?
I'd like time-out for a caucus.
A-A-A what?
A caucus.
Didn't you watch the
conventions on television?
Oh...
Well...
Well, very well,
all right... caucus.
Come on, Lillian, let's caucus.
You know, television
has changed the thinking
of the entire world.
She wouldn't have had
sense enough to caucus
this time last year.
You look it up in the bylaws.
Ethel, you ought to filibuster.
Really, you should filibuster.
Madam President.
Yes, Lillian.
I would like to nominate
Lucy Ricardo for President.
Oh!
Oh, well, I...
Well, you see, I feel
that if there are two,
it's the more American
way of doing...
It's democratic, it's, uh...
Well, how's the campaign
coming, Lucy, dear?
Just fine, Ethel, honey.
Just fine, sweetie.
That's good.
You know, running
for the same office
might bother some good friends,
but it doesn't bother me a bit.
Well, it doesn't
bother me either.
I just feel it's
all in the family.
Sure, all in the family.
That's the way I feel.
Hey, you should see
the cute campaign poster
that Lucy made.
Oh, honey, don't
bother to show them that.
No, let's see it.
Oh, don't be silly.
"Happy you will be with Lucy,
cast your vote and
wait till you see."
Oh!
Oh, that's darling, honey.
That's pretty good.
They're sort of fun
to make, you know.
Ethel wrote some good ones, too.
Uh, Fred...
Oh?
What were they?
Well, one of them said, uh...
"You can go farther with Ethel."
Oh!
Oh, that's just darling.
That's like that
gasoline ad. Yeah.
Hey, here's another one.
Oh, never mind,
Ricky, never mind.
That's enough, dear.
Oh, this is a beaut.
"Nertz to Mertz"?
It's a joke, dear.
Oh, a joke.
It's very amusing.
Oh, boy, and you were worried
about that one you
wrote about her.
Now, Fred...
Uh, Fred...
What was it?
"A vote for the redhead
is a vote for a deadhead."
And then she put underneath...
Uh, never mind, never mind.
Come on, let's play cards.
Oh, wait a minute.
Just a minute.
Uh, Fred, what was it
that was underneath?
Well, underneath
"deadhead" she wrote
"or should I say dyedhead."
Well, that's a
fine thing to say.
Well, "Nertz to Mertz" isn't
exactly a bouquet of roses.
Now, wait a minute,
hold it candidates.
Don't lose your tempers.
Nobody's losing her temper.
It's just good to know what
I'm running against, that's all.
Well, the same goes for me.
I might have known
you'd resort to mudslinging.
And I might have known you
would conduct a smear campaign.
Smear campaign?
Give me that thing.
I'll show you what a
real smear campaign is.
This isn't nearly strong enough.
Well, if that's the
way you want to play,
I've got some ideas of my own.
Come on, Fred.
Well, that's perfectly
all right with me.
You can play anyway that
you want, and see if I care.
Okay! I'm going to do that
poster I decided not to do.
You mean, "With our
club's welfare do not tinker.
Lucy Ricardo's a dirty..."
That's the one.
That's going to be tame
next to the ones
that I'm going to write!
I see. I see. Uh-huh.
Well, it was nice talking
with you, Marion. Mm-hmm.
No, no, no, I didn't
call for anything special.
Uh, by the way, who do you think
is going to be our
next club president?
Lucy or Ethel?
Oh.
Oh!
Oh...
Well, if that's the way it is,
then that's the
way it's got to be.
A divorce will be
the best thing for her.
Uh-huh.
Well, I'll see you next week
at the Wednesday
Afternoon Fine Arts Club.
Who did you say you
were going to vote for?
Oh, good choice,
good choice. Bye.
She's voting for Ethel.
Ethel?
What was all that "good
choice, good choice" for?
Well, that was to
throw her off the scent
so she wouldn't know
what we were doing.
Fine thing. Ethel
and I are tied.
Half the club's
voting for Ethel,
half the club's voting for me.
Oh. Well, we haven't heard
from Ruth Knickerbocker yet.
She wasn't home.
Oh, dear, how do you like that?
She's only been
in the club a week
and she's going to decide
who the next president is.
I think I'm going to have to put
a little friendly pressure on
Ruth Knickerbocker this week.
Well, Lucy, dear, I
really must be going now.
Well, it was
certainly nice of you
to come over this
afternoon, Lillian.
You know, Lucy,
I'm a little ashamed
at what I've done
for you this afternoon.
Oh... You know, I
really shouldn't have.
Well, I certainly appreciate it.
You know that, Lillian.
I sure do, dear.
Thanks very much.
Well, Lucy, really, I
do have to go now.
Yes?
Oh!
Bye, Lucy.
Good-bye.
Hi, Rick.
Hi, Fred.
Want to join me?
No, thanks.
That's the same
thing I had for dinner.
Where's Lucy?
Oh, I don't know.
Ever since this
club election started,
she's never home.
She's out campaigning.
Yeah, Ethel, too.
She's rushing that new
member right off her feet.
You mean Ruth Knickerbocker?
Yeah. Hers is the
deciding vote, you know?
Ethel's had her to tea,
then to dinner, and
a couple of movies.
That's funny.
Lucy had her out to lunch twice,
and last night she took her
to dinner and to the theater.
Mm-hmm. That kid's
being pulled apart
like the last girdle
at a bargain sale.
Well, I hope she
votes for Ethel.
Well, I don't.
Just think how
involved my life will be
if Ethel is president
of that club.
Listen, you just think
how involved my life is
with Lucy just being Lucy.
Yeah, you got a point there.
Yeah.
Boy, she's not
going to be elected
president of that
club if I can help it.
Well, there's nothing much
we can do about it, except pray.
Well, I don't know.
There must be
something that we can do.
If there was only some way
that I could sway the
Knickerbocker vote.
Then I could...
See you later, Lucy! Hey, Fred!
Good-bye, Fred. Adios.
Ethel will be home any minute.
Yeah, so long, Fred.
So long. Good-bye.
Good-bye
Knickerbocker,
Knickerbocker, Knickerbock...
Knickerbock..?
Hello, information?
I'd like to have
Ruth Knickerbocker's
phone number, please.
Knickerbocker.
Listen, if I knew
how to spell it
I wouldn't have
to call information.
Knickerbocker, I don't know.
N-i-k-e-r-b-o-k-e-r.
Yeah.
There's nobody by that name?
Look again, will you?
Yeah, yeah,
that's it. That's it.
With a "K"?
Well, give me the number.
Thank you.
With a "K"?
Wonder why they
put a "K" in front...
Hello, Miss K-nickerbocker?
This is Ricky Ricardo.
Lucy's husband, you know.
Yeah, well, you know, I have a
club, you know, the Tropicana,
and I sing and they have the
band down there and everything.
So I just thought that maybe
you'd like to come down tonight
and have some dinner
and see the show...
Oh?
Oh, you're busy tonight.
Oh, I see.
You have a date
with Freddie Mertz?
Oh, oh, all right.
Well, good-bye.
I didn't know he
could run that fast.
"Cuban Cabby."
♪ My horse and carriage
is for hire, señora ♪
♪ For just as long as
you desire, señorita ♪
♪ You want to ride ♪
♪ Forget the mañana ♪
♪ And come to Havana with me ♪
♪ I'm the Cuban cabby ♪
♪ I'm the Cuban cabby ♪
♪ The taxi drivers drive
you frantic, you know ♪
♪ Oh, but my rig is
more romantic, and so ♪
♪ You want to ride ♪
♪ A night full of splendor ♪
♪ And you can depend upon me ♪
♪ I'm the Cuban cabby ♪
♪ And I need dinero ♪
Money, that is.
Broke, huh?
Hey...
♪ The moon is peeping ♪
♪ The shadow's creeping ♪
♪ It's time for riding
through the park ♪
♪ A lovely night for lovers ♪
♪ The same as you two are ♪
♪ If you like music ♪
♪ I'll give you music ♪
♪ As we go riding in the dark ♪
♪ I'll sing a
Spanish love song ♪
♪ To the strains of my guitar ♪
♪ Ese lunar que
tienes, cielito lindo ♪
♪ Junto a la boca ♪
♪ No se lo des a
nadie, cielito lindo ♪
♪ Que ami me toca ♪
♪ Ay-ay-ay-ay ♪
♪ Canta y no llores ♪
♪ Porque cantando se alegran ♪
♪ Cielito lindo, los corazones ♪
♪ Ay-ay-ay-ay ♪
♪ Canta y no llores ♪
♪ Porque cantando se alegran ♪
♪ Cielito lindo,
los corazones. ♪
Ole!
♪ My horse and carriage
has been hired, señora ♪
♪ For just as long as
you desire, señorita ♪
♪ We're gonna ride ♪
♪ We're gonna ride ♪
♪ We're gonna ride. ♪
Miss Knickerbocker,
I've been wanting to...
Uh, just a minute, Ricky.
Fred, please, we're talking.
Please, don't bother us.
Hi, fellas.
We came down to the
club to celebrate. Celebrate?
Yeah, the club
elections were tonight.
Yeah, and we both
won... it was a tie.
We are co-presidents.
What, what, what?
How can it be a tie?
How about Ruth
Knickerbocker's vote?
Oh, she wasn't there.
She's home sick in
bed from all the rich food
that Ethel and I
fed her all week.
What do you mean
she's home sick in bed?
She's sitting right here.
Oh, hello, Mrs. Knickerbocker.
Oh, that isn't Ruth
Knickerbocker.
She isn't?
No.
You're not?
No.
That's Ruth's mother-in-law.
Why didn't you tell us?
I didn't want to spoil the fun.
At my age, you don't
get too many chances.
I Love Lucy is a
Desilu production.
This is the CBS
television network.
Oh, hi, Ethel.
Come in.
Aw... hi, sweetie.
Where's Lucy?
She went out shopping.
Do you know that
this little character
has already
outgrown his clothes?
No kidding?
Come on.
Oh, isn't he a little doll?
Hi.
Hey, Ricky, he keeps
looking at me with one eye.
Don't you wish he'd
just stay like this?
Yeah.
Anything special on your mind?
Yeah, I came up to tell Lucy
that the Wednesday
Afternoon Fine Arts League
is meeting on Friday this week.
The Wednesday
Afternoon Fine Arts League
is meeting on Friday. Yeah.
I thought you always
met on Thursday.
Oh, no, we never
met on Thursday.
We usually meet on Tuesday.
Well, look, this is probably
a very stupid question
but why couldn't the Wednesday
Afternoon Fine Arts League
meet on Wednesday?
Oh, we tried it, but
nobody could make it.
Wednesday afternoon isn't
a good day for club meetings.
That figures.
Why don't you forget about
the meetings altogether?
Oh, now, Ricky,
don't pick on our club.
It's really a very
worthwhile organization.
Nobody asked your opinion.
He's going to grow
up to be just like you.
Oh, I guess the
club is all right, Ethel,
but, you know, if Lucy
wouldn't get so involved in it.
Every time she gets
into it, I get into it, too.
Well, there's nothing
to get into this time.
We're just going
to nominate officers.
Oh, no.
You said it, kid.
What do you mean, you said it?
Don't you remember what
happened on the last nominations?
Oh, that.
Yes, that.
Hey, Lucy, what's going on?
Oh, my women's club
is meeting here today.
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.
Why do they have to
meet here all the time?
Oh, honey, they haven't
met here for three months.
We're taking turns until
we can afford a clubhouse.
Honey, you don't
need a clubhouse.
Why don't you meet
on the back fence
like other cats do?
Never mind now.
This is a very important
meeting, especially for me.
We're nominating candidates
for the club election.
I'll probably be
nominated for every office.
I've acceptance speeches
written for all of them.
Oh, you feel pretty
sure of yourself, huh?
Well, honey, I know how the
girls feel about me, that's all.
You think you're going to be
elected for some office, huh?
Yeah, I'll be elected
for something, surely.
Well, maybe I'll get a break
and they'll elect you nothing.
Now, don't start on me
about my women's club.
Okay, okay, I'll go spend
the afternoon with Fred.
That's a good idea.
Hi, Ricky. Hi, Ethel.
Hi, Ethel.
Oh, Lucy, that's a
beautiful sweater.
Is it new?
Yeah, you like it?
It's gorgeous.
Ooh, cashmere?
Yeah, isn't that yummy?
Mm-hmm.
And look.
A bag to match.
Oh! Isn't that the end?
Of course, I won't be
able to afford another thing
for three months, but who cares?
Oh, dear, this terrible pitcher
and these cheap glasses.
Say, listen, Ethel,
you are going to vote
to admit Ruth Knickerbocker
into the club, aren't you?
I don't know.
Well, she'd be a wonderful
addition to the club.
You think so?
She seems sort of a quiet
and mousey type to me.
Yeah, well, under
that mousey exterior
beats a cut glass
punch bowl and 20 cups.
Oh...
That's the kind of a
woman we need in our club.
That's the way I feel about it.
Oh, there they are,
the thundering herd.
Lucy!
Lillian! Hi!
Hi, how are you?
Ethel, how are you?
Lucy, that sweater,
it's stunning.
Oh, thank you.
Look.
Oh, no, look at
that bag to match.
Oh, what an outfit!
You know, I've been
just dying for one.
Well, I got it...
Don't tell me.
I know how expensive they
are, and I just can't afford it.
All right, I won't tell you.
Oh, say, listen, before
the others get here,
have you heard the
dirt about Marion?
Marion Strong?
Yes! What?
Oh, let me tell you.
You know how she's always
trying to pretend she's somebody?
Oh, do I.
Well, she finally got
her comeuppance.
What happened? She did?
Well, let me tell you.
I ran into her on the
street the other day,
and she had on the most...
Marion! Marion!
Oh, hi.
Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
Lucy, you have new furniture.
The whole thing is new.
Lucy, I got you a chair.
We're all ready to start.
Girls?
Ladies, ladies.
Shh.
Ladies.
The meeting will come to order.
Now, we'll skip the
minutes of the last meeting
and get right down to business.
Madam President.
Yes, Lillian.
I would like to submit the
name of Ruth Knickerbocker
for membership in our club.
I think that's a wonderful idea.
Very well. You all had a chance
to meet Ruth at
our last meeting,
so if there's no more
discussion, we'll vote.
All those in favor of
asking Ruth Knickerbocker
to join our club say aye.
Aye.
Noes?
No noes.
Ruth Knickerbocker...
Ruth Knickerbocker is
now a member of our club.
And now, the
election of officers.
The chair will
entertain nominations
for the office of Treasurer.
Yes. The chair
recognizes Pauline Lobos.
Well, Madam President, I would
like to nominate for Treasurer
one of our most
conscientious members.
Now this girl really
deserves an office in our club.
She's a wonderful
person and a fine character
and a real leader...
Grace Munson.
Me?
Are there any more nominations?
Oh, Grace, you'll make
a wonderful Treasurer.
Of course, I
wouldn't be Treasurer
if they handed it to
me on a silver platter.
You wouldn't?
Terrible job.
And now nominations are
open for the office of Secretary.
The chair recognizes
Marion Strong.
I nominate a member who...
well, she's just about the
most wonderful person.
She's the loyalest
person in the club
and she's always
ready to lend a hand
when you ask her to.
She's intelligent, pretty
and one of the nicest
persons you could ever meet
my very dear, dear friend,
Lillian Appleby.
Lillian!
Are there any more nominations?
Oh, Lillian, you'll make
a wonderful Secretary.
Secretary is really a very
thankless job, you know.
Oh, is it?
Very.
Now, let me hear nominations
for the office of Vice President.
Madam President.
Chair recognizes
Lillian Appleby.
For the office of
Vice President,
I would like to nominate a
girl who really deserves the job.
A girl who will
fight for our club.
You can tell that from
the color of her hair.
My very dearest, dearest friend,
Marion Strong.
Are there any more
nominations for Vice President?
Oh, Marion, you'll make a
wonderful Vice President.
Vice President's merely
a figurehead, you know.
Oh, really?
They work in name only. Oh.
And now we come
to the most
important office of all...
The presidency.
As far as I'm concerned
there's only one person
who should follow me
in the office of President.
She has administrative ability,
she's charming, makes
a good appearance.
In fact, she'll be a
wonderful President,
and I'm so sure that you're all
going to elect her unanimously
that I want to be the
first to shake the hand
of our next president.
Ethel Mertz!
Ethel Mertz?
Yes.
Oh, I don't...
Please let us come to order now.
Ladies. Ladies.
I'm sure there will be no
more nominations for President.
So I hereby declare
the nominations...
Uh, Madam President.
Yes, the chair
recognizes Mrs. Ricardo.
I think that there should be
some more nominations
for presidency.
Why, Lucy...
Oh, it isn't that I don't feel
that you'll make a
wonderful president, Ethel.
It's just that I feel that
the more democratic way
is to have more
than one nominee.
It doesn't matter who it
is, just so there are two.
You understand.
Well... yeah.
Well, do I hear
another nomination
for President?
Since there are no more
nominations for President,
I hereby declare the nomina...
Madam President.
Yes, Lucy?
I'd like time-out for a caucus.
A-A-A what?
A caucus.
Didn't you watch the
conventions on television?
Oh...
Well...
Well, very well,
all right... caucus.
Come on, Lillian, let's caucus.
You know, television
has changed the thinking
of the entire world.
She wouldn't have had
sense enough to caucus
this time last year.
You look it up in the bylaws.
Ethel, you ought to filibuster.
Really, you should filibuster.
Madam President.
Yes, Lillian.
I would like to nominate
Lucy Ricardo for President.
Oh!
Oh, well, I...
Well, you see, I feel
that if there are two,
it's the more American
way of doing...
It's democratic, it's, uh...
Well, how's the campaign
coming, Lucy, dear?
Just fine, Ethel, honey.
Just fine, sweetie.
That's good.
You know, running
for the same office
might bother some good friends,
but it doesn't bother me a bit.
Well, it doesn't
bother me either.
I just feel it's
all in the family.
Sure, all in the family.
That's the way I feel.
Hey, you should see
the cute campaign poster
that Lucy made.
Oh, honey, don't
bother to show them that.
No, let's see it.
Oh, don't be silly.
"Happy you will be with Lucy,
cast your vote and
wait till you see."
Oh!
Oh, that's darling, honey.
That's pretty good.
They're sort of fun
to make, you know.
Ethel wrote some good ones, too.
Uh, Fred...
Oh?
What were they?
Well, one of them said, uh...
"You can go farther with Ethel."
Oh!
Oh, that's just darling.
That's like that
gasoline ad. Yeah.
Hey, here's another one.
Oh, never mind,
Ricky, never mind.
That's enough, dear.
Oh, this is a beaut.
"Nertz to Mertz"?
It's a joke, dear.
Oh, a joke.
It's very amusing.
Oh, boy, and you were worried
about that one you
wrote about her.
Now, Fred...
Uh, Fred...
What was it?
"A vote for the redhead
is a vote for a deadhead."
And then she put underneath...
Uh, never mind, never mind.
Come on, let's play cards.
Oh, wait a minute.
Just a minute.
Uh, Fred, what was it
that was underneath?
Well, underneath
"deadhead" she wrote
"or should I say dyedhead."
Well, that's a
fine thing to say.
Well, "Nertz to Mertz" isn't
exactly a bouquet of roses.
Now, wait a minute,
hold it candidates.
Don't lose your tempers.
Nobody's losing her temper.
It's just good to know what
I'm running against, that's all.
Well, the same goes for me.
I might have known
you'd resort to mudslinging.
And I might have known you
would conduct a smear campaign.
Smear campaign?
Give me that thing.
I'll show you what a
real smear campaign is.
This isn't nearly strong enough.
Well, if that's the
way you want to play,
I've got some ideas of my own.
Come on, Fred.
Well, that's perfectly
all right with me.
You can play anyway that
you want, and see if I care.
Okay! I'm going to do that
poster I decided not to do.
You mean, "With our
club's welfare do not tinker.
Lucy Ricardo's a dirty..."
That's the one.
That's going to be tame
next to the ones
that I'm going to write!
I see. I see. Uh-huh.
Well, it was nice talking
with you, Marion. Mm-hmm.
No, no, no, I didn't
call for anything special.
Uh, by the way, who do you think
is going to be our
next club president?
Lucy or Ethel?
Oh.
Oh!
Oh...
Well, if that's the way it is,
then that's the
way it's got to be.
A divorce will be
the best thing for her.
Uh-huh.
Well, I'll see you next week
at the Wednesday
Afternoon Fine Arts Club.
Who did you say you
were going to vote for?
Oh, good choice,
good choice. Bye.
She's voting for Ethel.
Ethel?
What was all that "good
choice, good choice" for?
Well, that was to
throw her off the scent
so she wouldn't know
what we were doing.
Fine thing. Ethel
and I are tied.
Half the club's
voting for Ethel,
half the club's voting for me.
Oh. Well, we haven't heard
from Ruth Knickerbocker yet.
She wasn't home.
Oh, dear, how do you like that?
She's only been
in the club a week
and she's going to decide
who the next president is.
I think I'm going to have to put
a little friendly pressure on
Ruth Knickerbocker this week.
Well, Lucy, dear, I
really must be going now.
Well, it was
certainly nice of you
to come over this
afternoon, Lillian.
You know, Lucy,
I'm a little ashamed
at what I've done
for you this afternoon.
Oh... You know, I
really shouldn't have.
Well, I certainly appreciate it.
You know that, Lillian.
I sure do, dear.
Thanks very much.
Well, Lucy, really, I
do have to go now.
Yes?
Oh!
Bye, Lucy.
Good-bye.
Hi, Rick.
Hi, Fred.
Want to join me?
No, thanks.
That's the same
thing I had for dinner.
Where's Lucy?
Oh, I don't know.
Ever since this
club election started,
she's never home.
She's out campaigning.
Yeah, Ethel, too.
She's rushing that new
member right off her feet.
You mean Ruth Knickerbocker?
Yeah. Hers is the
deciding vote, you know?
Ethel's had her to tea,
then to dinner, and
a couple of movies.
That's funny.
Lucy had her out to lunch twice,
and last night she took her
to dinner and to the theater.
Mm-hmm. That kid's
being pulled apart
like the last girdle
at a bargain sale.
Well, I hope she
votes for Ethel.
Well, I don't.
Just think how
involved my life will be
if Ethel is president
of that club.
Listen, you just think
how involved my life is
with Lucy just being Lucy.
Yeah, you got a point there.
Yeah.
Boy, she's not
going to be elected
president of that
club if I can help it.
Well, there's nothing much
we can do about it, except pray.
Well, I don't know.
There must be
something that we can do.
If there was only some way
that I could sway the
Knickerbocker vote.
Then I could...
See you later, Lucy! Hey, Fred!
Good-bye, Fred. Adios.
Ethel will be home any minute.
Yeah, so long, Fred.
So long. Good-bye.
Good-bye
Knickerbocker,
Knickerbocker, Knickerbock...
Knickerbock..?
Hello, information?
I'd like to have
Ruth Knickerbocker's
phone number, please.
Knickerbocker.
Listen, if I knew
how to spell it
I wouldn't have
to call information.
Knickerbocker, I don't know.
N-i-k-e-r-b-o-k-e-r.
Yeah.
There's nobody by that name?
Look again, will you?
Yeah, yeah,
that's it. That's it.
With a "K"?
Well, give me the number.
Thank you.
With a "K"?
Wonder why they
put a "K" in front...
Hello, Miss K-nickerbocker?
This is Ricky Ricardo.
Lucy's husband, you know.
Yeah, well, you know, I have a
club, you know, the Tropicana,
and I sing and they have the
band down there and everything.
So I just thought that maybe
you'd like to come down tonight
and have some dinner
and see the show...
Oh?
Oh, you're busy tonight.
Oh, I see.
You have a date
with Freddie Mertz?
Oh, oh, all right.
Well, good-bye.
I didn't know he
could run that fast.
"Cuban Cabby."
♪ My horse and carriage
is for hire, señora ♪
♪ For just as long as
you desire, señorita ♪
♪ You want to ride ♪
♪ Forget the mañana ♪
♪ And come to Havana with me ♪
♪ I'm the Cuban cabby ♪
♪ I'm the Cuban cabby ♪
♪ The taxi drivers drive
you frantic, you know ♪
♪ Oh, but my rig is
more romantic, and so ♪
♪ You want to ride ♪
♪ A night full of splendor ♪
♪ And you can depend upon me ♪
♪ I'm the Cuban cabby ♪
♪ And I need dinero ♪
Money, that is.
Broke, huh?
Hey...
♪ The moon is peeping ♪
♪ The shadow's creeping ♪
♪ It's time for riding
through the park ♪
♪ A lovely night for lovers ♪
♪ The same as you two are ♪
♪ If you like music ♪
♪ I'll give you music ♪
♪ As we go riding in the dark ♪
♪ I'll sing a
Spanish love song ♪
♪ To the strains of my guitar ♪
♪ Ese lunar que
tienes, cielito lindo ♪
♪ Junto a la boca ♪
♪ No se lo des a
nadie, cielito lindo ♪
♪ Que ami me toca ♪
♪ Ay-ay-ay-ay ♪
♪ Canta y no llores ♪
♪ Porque cantando se alegran ♪
♪ Cielito lindo, los corazones ♪
♪ Ay-ay-ay-ay ♪
♪ Canta y no llores ♪
♪ Porque cantando se alegran ♪
♪ Cielito lindo,
los corazones. ♪
Ole!
♪ My horse and carriage
has been hired, señora ♪
♪ For just as long as
you desire, señorita ♪
♪ We're gonna ride ♪
♪ We're gonna ride ♪
♪ We're gonna ride. ♪
Miss Knickerbocker,
I've been wanting to...
Uh, just a minute, Ricky.
Fred, please, we're talking.
Please, don't bother us.
Hi, fellas.
We came down to the
club to celebrate. Celebrate?
Yeah, the club
elections were tonight.
Yeah, and we both
won... it was a tie.
We are co-presidents.
What, what, what?
How can it be a tie?
How about Ruth
Knickerbocker's vote?
Oh, she wasn't there.
She's home sick in
bed from all the rich food
that Ethel and I
fed her all week.
What do you mean
she's home sick in bed?
She's sitting right here.
Oh, hello, Mrs. Knickerbocker.
Oh, that isn't Ruth
Knickerbocker.
She isn't?
No.
You're not?
No.
That's Ruth's mother-in-law.
Why didn't you tell us?
I didn't want to spoil the fun.
At my age, you don't
get too many chances.
I Love Lucy is a
Desilu production.
This is the CBS
television network.