I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 2, Episode 15 - Lucy Becomes a Sculptress - full transcript
Lucy decides to explore her artistic side and takes up sculpting.
Hi, honey.
Hi.
Say, what are you
doing up so late?
Oh, I'm just looking
at the pictures
in this family album.
Gee, they're wonderful.
How do you happen
to start looking at those?
Well, I guess I was wondering
what our baby might look like.
Look. This is me,
eight months old.
Gee, what are you laughing at?
Look at this.
What did they call
you, "fancy pants"?
Everything's at half-mast.
Oh, now, of course at two
I was very sophisticated.
Get that hair ribbon.
I think it's cute.
Oh, no!
Well, that was
just about the time
I joined the navy.
Oh-ho...
Gee, that's cute.
I think you were handsome.
I hope our baby
looks the way you did.
Oh, you're sweet.
Hey, who's that character?
Oh.
That's my great grandfather.
He was an artist.
He'd better be, in that outfit.
Well, no cracks now.
He was very good.
Gee, Ricky, isn't
it wonderful...
All the musical
and artistic talent
that our baby will
be surrounded with?
Yeah.
Oh, dear. Surrounded
with music and art.
He wants to be a
musician, you can teach him.
He wants to be an artist...
Hey, who are we going to
get to teach him about art?
Well, honey, I
wouldn't worry about it.
It'll take care of
itself somehow.
Well, now, it's not that easy.
Our child's artistic and
cultural future is at stake.
Well, there's just
one thing for me to do.
I know I shouldn't
ask this, but what is it?
I'll have to become an artist.
Now, Lucy, don't be ridiculous.
I'm not being ridiculous.
I undoubtedly inherited
a world of talent
from my great grandfather.
Well... where is it?
It's been sleeping
for three generations.
I just have to wake it up.
Look, will you do me a favor?
Pull down the
blinds and let it sleep.
Oh, now I'm not doing
this for me, Ricky.
I'm doing it for the
future of our child.
Well, I guess it
won't hurt anything
if you dabble in some
watercolors for a while,
but don't get too involved.
You haven't got much time
before the baby gets here.
Hey, you're right.
I have to become a
fine artist in three weeks.
How do you do?
Oh, uh, how do you do?
May I help you?
Yes, I'd like some
art supplies, please.
Which of the media
do you employ?
I beg your pardon?
Well, we have a complete
stock of all the media.
Media?
Uh, what you like to work in.
Oh...
just an old smock.
Oh, I see.
Well, tell me
what do you like to use?
We have equipment
for any kind of artwork...
Uh, watercolors, oils,
pastel, finger painting.
Oh, finger painting...
That sounds good.
I won't have to buy anything.
I already have fingers.
Are these the kind you need?
Stop.
Just a minute.
Do it again.
Do what?
Hold up your hand just
the way you did it before.
Those hands.
What expression.
What symmetry.
Those long, expressive fingers.
Oh, those are the
hands of a sculptor.
They are?
They certainly are.
Oh, you must be very talented.
Well, I don't know.
I've never...
I've never sculpt...
uh... sculpteded before.
Well, I just couldn't be wrong.
No?
No.
Here.
Create something for me.
Oh, I couldn't.
I don't know how.
Try. Your talent
will tell you how.
Oh, go ahead.
Don't be inhibited.
Dig right in with both hands.
Well...
Stop! Ah!
Wait.
Did I do something wrong?
Wrong?
Was Michelangelo wrong?
I don't know.
Just a moment ago
this was a shapeless
mass of clay,
and look at it now.
Just look at it...
Such form, such rhythm...
such movement.
Oh, it's just something
I squeezed together.
Yes, yes,
but it's the way
you squeezed it.
The world is waiting
for a squeezer like yours.
Oh, you're just saying that.
D-Do you really
think that that...?
Please, please,
don't take my word for it.
You've certainly
heard of our owner,
Mr. William Abbott...
The famous art connoisseur.
Oh, uh, uh, oh, yeah.
Just a moment.
Uh... Mr. Abbott!
Mr. Abbott.
I won't say a word.
You do all the talking.
Okay.
Mr. Abbott, this is Mrs., uh...
Ricardo. Ricardo.
How do you do? How do you do?
Uh, Mr. Abbott, I
was wondering if...
This figure.
This-this-this-this...
this masterpiece.
Where did you get it?
Did it just come in?
That's what I wanted to
talk to you about, Mr. Abbott.
You see...
Oh, I'm sorry, madame.
This is not for sale.
I'm putting this in
my own collection.
Oh, well, y... you don't
understand, Mr. Abbott.
No, no, you don't understand,
Mr. Abbott.
Mrs. Ricardo just made it
before my own eyes
with her own hands.
With these.
It's breathtaking.
Really?
Well, you know,
now that I look at it,
it isn't bad at all, is it?
It's the first
thing I ever tried.
Oh!
She's considering
taking up sculpturing.
Oh, you must.
You owe it to cultural society.
The world is calling.
Me?
Well, then, I'd better answer.
Uh, h-how much clay
will I need to start?
Uh, ten pounds?
Make it 25.
Make it 50.
50?
You have a big talent.
Oh.
Well, y-you just send anything
that I need to this address.
And, uh...
thank you.
I feel a great discovery
has been made here today.
I will personally
handle your first exhibit.
Well...
Uh, put that in my
private collection.
Now, what are you doing,
and what is that crazy
getup you got on?
This is an artist
smock and a tam.
A smock and a tam?
Sure. It's what all us
sculptressesses wear.
All us what-essesses?
Never mind now.
Don't bother me, I'm
busy. I'm sculpting.
How did you get mixed
up in all this mud pie stuff?
Well, I tried it at the
art store this morning,
and both the
salesman and the owner
said that I had
exceptional talent.
There.
How do you like it?
You made that, huh?
Yeah.
All by yourself?
Yeah. Do you like it?
Like it? Why, honey, it's, uh...
I mean, I've never seen
anything quite like this.
It's the most, uh...
And you made
that all by yourself?
Oh, I'll bet you don't
even know what it is.
Oh, honey, now
how can you say that?
Anyone can tell what it is.
Well, what is it?
Let me look at it
from the back, eh?
Okay.
Well?
That's the back
of it, all right.
Oh, now, Ricky, come on.
Tell me what it is.
A boy and his dog?
No.
A girl and her dog?
No, and I don't think
you're being very funny.
Okay, I give up.
What is it?
It's a child at its
mother's knee.
Oh, why, sure.
I can see it now, yeah.
Sure.
Oh, look at that cute expression
on the child's face.
Kootchie, kootchie,
kootchie, kootchie...
That's the knee.
That's the knee?
Yes.
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.
Hi, Ricky.
Hi, Ethel.
Hi, Lucy. How you doing?
Hi, Ethel. I'm glad you're here.
At least you have taste
and appreciation for art.
I do?
Well, you certainly
have more taste
than some people
I know around here.
Now go ahead, tell
Ricky what this is.
Hmm.
Hmm...
Well, go ahead,
tell him what it is.
It's as plain as the
nose on your face.
Oh, yeah.
Well?
Is it the nose on
somebody's face?
No, it isn't!
No, Ethel.
It's a mother with
her nose in her knee.
The two of you
think you're so smart.
I think this is pretty good,
considering I did
it from imagination.
I didn't have a model, you know.
Well, maybe a model would help.
Well, of course a
model would help.
All great artists have models.
I wish I knew someplace
where I could get...
Good-bye. I got
to go to the club.
I got to go, Lucy, I
hear Fred calling.
Ethel, you come right back here.
You do not hear
Fred calling you.
Yes, I do.
I'll be right there, Fred!
Ethel, I'm very disappointed
you won't model for me
because you have
such classic beauty.
What did you say I had?
Classic beauty.
I do?
Sure.
Look at that head, that profile.
It's like the head
on a Greek coin.
You really think so, Lucy?
Yeah.
I always thought
my head was kind...
Oh, no, you don't.
I'm not going to model for you.
Now, Ethel...
No.
Well, who will I get?
I don't know,
but it's not going to be me.
Oh...
Lucy, did I tell you
about Jane Sebastian?
Ethel, will you please
hold your head still?
Well, her baby
was due last week,
and it didn't arrive,
and it didn't arrive.
And when they finally
rushed her to the hospital,
what did she do but have twins.
Ethel, how can I
do anything right
if you keep moving your head?
Well, I got a crick in my neck.
Let me see what I look like.
Boy, I'm not a bit well.
Well, it's not supposed to be
an exact copy of you.
I know that.
Where's my face?
Right there.
What's this supposed to be?
That's your ear.
What's it doing over my mouth?
Well, you moved so much,
I couldn't tell where it was.
What's this?
That's your nose.
On top of my head?
Well, I know it isn't
where it's supposed to be,
but isn't it a nice nose?
It's lovely.
You know, Ethel, I think that
I should do a full-length
figure of you in action.
Okay, you can do a statue of me
running down the back stairs.
Good-bye.
Oh, Ethel Mertz,
you come back here!
Oh, darn it.
Hi, Lucy.
Hi.
I thought I'd find
Ethel up here.
Well, she was,
but she had to
leave for a minute.
I know you're busy,
so I won't bother you.
Fred, turn sideways.
What for?
That profile.
Huh?
You know, I never
noticed it before,
but you have real
classic features.
I do?
Yeah.
Your head is like the
head on a Greek coin.
Hey, Lucy, how long do
I have to stay like this?
I'm getting kind of tired.
Just a few more minutes,
Fred, then you can rest.
I hope so.
What's so funny?
Yes, I fail to see
what's so hilarious.
Oh, no, that getup
that you got on.
And you should see what
she's doing to you over here.
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.
Well, then maybe
I'd better take a look.
Come on, Fred, take a look.
I'll be glad to have you see it.
I think it's coming
along very nicely.
Well, straighten up, Fred.
Take a rest for a while.
I'd be glad to straighten up
except for one thing.
What?
I can't.
Oh, no.
Easy, Rick, easy.
What's the matter?
You better wait.
I'd better go down
and have Ethel put
some liniment on it.
Ah, gee, Fred, I'm sorry.
Ah, it's okay.
As long as I'm in this
position, I think I'll go bowling.
Watch it now, Fred.
Watch it going downstairs.
Take it easy now, Fred.
Take it easy.
Oh, no...
Lucy, look what you did
to poor Hercules Mertz.
I wonder if Michelangelo had
this trouble with his models.
Oh, honey, you can't expect Fred
to pose like a
professional model.
Hey, that's what I need.
What?
A professional model.
Now wait a minute.
They cost a lot of money...
Eight or ten dollars an hour.
Don't you want your child
surrounded by art and culture?
Not at ten bucks
a throw I don't.
Well, if you're
going to be crass...
I am not being crass.
And what does that mean?
It means you care more for
money than you do our child.
I do not, honey.
We just haven't got that
kind of money to spend.
Oh!
Look, honey, we've already
spent a fortune on the baby...
Nursery things,
furniture, layette.
As it is, I'm going to have
to pay for them on time.
It's not that bad.
It is, too. If they
deliver the baby C.O.D.,
I'm going to have
to send him back.
You don't love me or the baby.
Oh, now, honey, you know I do.
You do not.
Now, look, sweetheart.
If I thought that you had
any kind of talent at this,
money would be no object.
Really?
Well, you just ask
Mr. William Abbott...
He's the owner of the art store,
and he's a famous connoisseur,
and he said I was brilliant.
He also wanted to
sell you some clay.
Oh, you have such a
sneaky, suspicious mind.
All right, I'll tell
you what I'll do.
I'll make a deal with you.
I'll get one of the art critics
from one of the papers
to come up to the house
and look at your work.
If he says that you
have any kind of talent,
you can have anything you want.
Really, Ricky?
Yeah, but wait a minute now.
If he says no, that you
don't have any talent,
then you forget
this whole business.
It's a deal. Okay.
Good morning, Lucy.
Hi.
I came to get some more liniment
for Fred's arm.
I'm sorry. I gave
you all we had.
How is his arm?
Is it any better?
It's pretty good.
We got it down to here now.
Well, that's good.
Say, Ethel, would
you do me a favor?
No!
Oh, Ethel, come back here.
I don't want you
to model for me.
I have a model...
Someone who appreciates my work
and who'll pose for me
as long as I want. Who?
Me.
You?
Yes. I'm going to
make a bust of myself.
I thought you'd
already done that.
Ricky's bringing
home an art critic
to look at my work.
And I think that if I make a
perfect replica of my head,
it will really impress him.
Well, I hope your head turns out
better than Fred's arm.
It will.
This book tells
how to make a mold
of anything that
you want to copy.
You mean, you're going
to make a mold of your..?
Yeah. I'm going to
make an impression
of my head and face.
I'm going to put clay in
it, take the mold away,
and I'll have a perfect
replica of my head.
Hey, Lucy, that's
a wonderful idea.
Yeah, and it's so easy, too.
I got the plaster all mixed.
Now listen, "Cover
the object to be copied
"with plaster of paris
and let it remain this way
"until the plaster hardens.
Then crack away..." Lucy!
What?
You mean, you're
going to bury your head
in plaster of paris?
Sure.
But you won't be
able to breathe.
Oh. I never thought of that.
Well, what am I going to do?
It has to be a perfect
likeness to get by that art critic.
Maybe the book tells
some other way to do it.
Let's see.
What's the matter?
Ethel! I can't get my arm out!
You're stuck?
Oh, hey, look, pull, pull hard.
I can't get it out!
Well, let me try...
Oh, Lucy...
Right this way, Mr. Harvey.
You'll see what I mean.
Hi, Ricky.
Oh, hi, Ethel.
Uh, this is, uh, Mr. Harvey,
the art critic of the Times.
Mrs. Mertz, Mr. Harvey.
How do you do?
How do you do?
Uh, where's Lucy?
Oh, she had to go
down to the store.
Well, that's funny.
She knew I was bringing
Mr. Harvey home.
Oh, she'll be right back.
Would you like me
to show you her work?
Oh, no, I th... I think
we better, uh, wait
till Lucy gets here.
Uh, if you don't
mind, Mr. Ricardo,
I always prefer
to look at these
amateur attempts
uh, without the
artist being present.
Oh, all right.
What did she sculpt this time?
She made a head of herself.
She did, huh?
Oh, you should have seen her.
She put up seven
mirrors all around
so she'd cover every angle.
Oh, no.
Oh, this is really pretty good.
Are you ready?
Oh, I can hardly wait.
All right.
There.
Hey, you know something?
It kind of looks like her.
I told you it was good.
This is excellent,
Ricardo, excellent!
It is, huh?
Oh, my boy, believe
me, if this is a sample
of your wife's first
attempt at sculpturing,
you're married to a genius.
Well, what do you know?
Oh, Lucy will be so
happy when she hears this.
Oh, this is fine, fine.
Say, look, do me a favor.
Sure. What?
I-It's always a
tremendous thrill
for me to be in at the launching
of a great artistic career.
Let me buy this.
He wants to buy it.
Buy it?
Yes.
I-I'd like to add it
to my private collection.
Oh, oh, Mr. Harvey,
you can't have that for
your private collection.
I don't... I don't think
Lucy'd want to sell it.
Oh, what are you talking about?
I would think she'd
be delighted to sell it.
Oh, you don't know how
hard she worked on this.
She put a lot of
herself into this statue.
Well, I guess she's right.
I guess it'll have
to be up to Lucy.
Well, I don't have time to wait.
I'm-I'm due at an
art critic's meeting.
Uh, let me know if
she'll sell it, will you?
All right. Thank you for
coming out, Mr. Harvey.
Oh, Mr. Ricardo.
I'd love to have this at
that meeting with me.
Won't you let me buy it?
Well, uh...
no, I-I'm afraid I couldn't
take the responsibility.
I'll pay $500.
Oh, no!
I'll take the responsibility.
Mr. Harvey, you mustn't do that.
This statue isn't worth $500.
Well, I believe
I know what a statue
is worth, Mrs. Mertz.
I'll write you a check.
Thank you.
Um...
uh...
um...
Mr. Harvey,
don't you think you ought
to take another look at this?
It really isn't worth
that much money.
It isn't quite right.
Now look at that mouth.
You know the-the side
of it should be up higher.
Like that.
Ethel!
And this-this side
of it should be lower.
Like that.
Oh, Mrs. Mertz.
And, you know, the
whole thing's too long.
Don't you think it
should be like that?
Ethel, now look what you done!
You ruined it!
Oh, no, she hasn't ruined it.
I haven't?
No.
Uh, do you know something
that when Mrs. Ricardo
is a famous sculptress,
this will be a-a
collector's item. Here.
Thank you. Oh, wait!
I'll deliver it anyplace
you want me to.
Oh, no.
I wouldn't trust this
to any other hands
but my own.
Oh, give me that check!
What kind of a ridiculous...?!
I didn't have anything
to do with this, Mr. Harvey!
Lucy!
The clerk was played
by Leon Belasco,
the store owner was Shep Menken
and the art critic, Paul Harvey.
I Love Lucy is a
Desilu production.
This is the CBS
television network.
Hi.
Say, what are you
doing up so late?
Oh, I'm just looking
at the pictures
in this family album.
Gee, they're wonderful.
How do you happen
to start looking at those?
Well, I guess I was wondering
what our baby might look like.
Look. This is me,
eight months old.
Gee, what are you laughing at?
Look at this.
What did they call
you, "fancy pants"?
Everything's at half-mast.
Oh, now, of course at two
I was very sophisticated.
Get that hair ribbon.
I think it's cute.
Oh, no!
Well, that was
just about the time
I joined the navy.
Oh-ho...
Gee, that's cute.
I think you were handsome.
I hope our baby
looks the way you did.
Oh, you're sweet.
Hey, who's that character?
Oh.
That's my great grandfather.
He was an artist.
He'd better be, in that outfit.
Well, no cracks now.
He was very good.
Gee, Ricky, isn't
it wonderful...
All the musical
and artistic talent
that our baby will
be surrounded with?
Yeah.
Oh, dear. Surrounded
with music and art.
He wants to be a
musician, you can teach him.
He wants to be an artist...
Hey, who are we going to
get to teach him about art?
Well, honey, I
wouldn't worry about it.
It'll take care of
itself somehow.
Well, now, it's not that easy.
Our child's artistic and
cultural future is at stake.
Well, there's just
one thing for me to do.
I know I shouldn't
ask this, but what is it?
I'll have to become an artist.
Now, Lucy, don't be ridiculous.
I'm not being ridiculous.
I undoubtedly inherited
a world of talent
from my great grandfather.
Well... where is it?
It's been sleeping
for three generations.
I just have to wake it up.
Look, will you do me a favor?
Pull down the
blinds and let it sleep.
Oh, now I'm not doing
this for me, Ricky.
I'm doing it for the
future of our child.
Well, I guess it
won't hurt anything
if you dabble in some
watercolors for a while,
but don't get too involved.
You haven't got much time
before the baby gets here.
Hey, you're right.
I have to become a
fine artist in three weeks.
How do you do?
Oh, uh, how do you do?
May I help you?
Yes, I'd like some
art supplies, please.
Which of the media
do you employ?
I beg your pardon?
Well, we have a complete
stock of all the media.
Media?
Uh, what you like to work in.
Oh...
just an old smock.
Oh, I see.
Well, tell me
what do you like to use?
We have equipment
for any kind of artwork...
Uh, watercolors, oils,
pastel, finger painting.
Oh, finger painting...
That sounds good.
I won't have to buy anything.
I already have fingers.
Are these the kind you need?
Stop.
Just a minute.
Do it again.
Do what?
Hold up your hand just
the way you did it before.
Those hands.
What expression.
What symmetry.
Those long, expressive fingers.
Oh, those are the
hands of a sculptor.
They are?
They certainly are.
Oh, you must be very talented.
Well, I don't know.
I've never...
I've never sculpt...
uh... sculpteded before.
Well, I just couldn't be wrong.
No?
No.
Here.
Create something for me.
Oh, I couldn't.
I don't know how.
Try. Your talent
will tell you how.
Oh, go ahead.
Don't be inhibited.
Dig right in with both hands.
Well...
Stop! Ah!
Wait.
Did I do something wrong?
Wrong?
Was Michelangelo wrong?
I don't know.
Just a moment ago
this was a shapeless
mass of clay,
and look at it now.
Just look at it...
Such form, such rhythm...
such movement.
Oh, it's just something
I squeezed together.
Yes, yes,
but it's the way
you squeezed it.
The world is waiting
for a squeezer like yours.
Oh, you're just saying that.
D-Do you really
think that that...?
Please, please,
don't take my word for it.
You've certainly
heard of our owner,
Mr. William Abbott...
The famous art connoisseur.
Oh, uh, uh, oh, yeah.
Just a moment.
Uh... Mr. Abbott!
Mr. Abbott.
I won't say a word.
You do all the talking.
Okay.
Mr. Abbott, this is Mrs., uh...
Ricardo. Ricardo.
How do you do? How do you do?
Uh, Mr. Abbott, I
was wondering if...
This figure.
This-this-this-this...
this masterpiece.
Where did you get it?
Did it just come in?
That's what I wanted to
talk to you about, Mr. Abbott.
You see...
Oh, I'm sorry, madame.
This is not for sale.
I'm putting this in
my own collection.
Oh, well, y... you don't
understand, Mr. Abbott.
No, no, you don't understand,
Mr. Abbott.
Mrs. Ricardo just made it
before my own eyes
with her own hands.
With these.
It's breathtaking.
Really?
Well, you know,
now that I look at it,
it isn't bad at all, is it?
It's the first
thing I ever tried.
Oh!
She's considering
taking up sculpturing.
Oh, you must.
You owe it to cultural society.
The world is calling.
Me?
Well, then, I'd better answer.
Uh, h-how much clay
will I need to start?
Uh, ten pounds?
Make it 25.
Make it 50.
50?
You have a big talent.
Oh.
Well, y-you just send anything
that I need to this address.
And, uh...
thank you.
I feel a great discovery
has been made here today.
I will personally
handle your first exhibit.
Well...
Uh, put that in my
private collection.
Now, what are you doing,
and what is that crazy
getup you got on?
This is an artist
smock and a tam.
A smock and a tam?
Sure. It's what all us
sculptressesses wear.
All us what-essesses?
Never mind now.
Don't bother me, I'm
busy. I'm sculpting.
How did you get mixed
up in all this mud pie stuff?
Well, I tried it at the
art store this morning,
and both the
salesman and the owner
said that I had
exceptional talent.
There.
How do you like it?
You made that, huh?
Yeah.
All by yourself?
Yeah. Do you like it?
Like it? Why, honey, it's, uh...
I mean, I've never seen
anything quite like this.
It's the most, uh...
And you made
that all by yourself?
Oh, I'll bet you don't
even know what it is.
Oh, honey, now
how can you say that?
Anyone can tell what it is.
Well, what is it?
Let me look at it
from the back, eh?
Okay.
Well?
That's the back
of it, all right.
Oh, now, Ricky, come on.
Tell me what it is.
A boy and his dog?
No.
A girl and her dog?
No, and I don't think
you're being very funny.
Okay, I give up.
What is it?
It's a child at its
mother's knee.
Oh, why, sure.
I can see it now, yeah.
Sure.
Oh, look at that cute expression
on the child's face.
Kootchie, kootchie,
kootchie, kootchie...
That's the knee.
That's the knee?
Yes.
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.
Hi, Ricky.
Hi, Ethel.
Hi, Lucy. How you doing?
Hi, Ethel. I'm glad you're here.
At least you have taste
and appreciation for art.
I do?
Well, you certainly
have more taste
than some people
I know around here.
Now go ahead, tell
Ricky what this is.
Hmm.
Hmm...
Well, go ahead,
tell him what it is.
It's as plain as the
nose on your face.
Oh, yeah.
Well?
Is it the nose on
somebody's face?
No, it isn't!
No, Ethel.
It's a mother with
her nose in her knee.
The two of you
think you're so smart.
I think this is pretty good,
considering I did
it from imagination.
I didn't have a model, you know.
Well, maybe a model would help.
Well, of course a
model would help.
All great artists have models.
I wish I knew someplace
where I could get...
Good-bye. I got
to go to the club.
I got to go, Lucy, I
hear Fred calling.
Ethel, you come right back here.
You do not hear
Fred calling you.
Yes, I do.
I'll be right there, Fred!
Ethel, I'm very disappointed
you won't model for me
because you have
such classic beauty.
What did you say I had?
Classic beauty.
I do?
Sure.
Look at that head, that profile.
It's like the head
on a Greek coin.
You really think so, Lucy?
Yeah.
I always thought
my head was kind...
Oh, no, you don't.
I'm not going to model for you.
Now, Ethel...
No.
Well, who will I get?
I don't know,
but it's not going to be me.
Oh...
Lucy, did I tell you
about Jane Sebastian?
Ethel, will you please
hold your head still?
Well, her baby
was due last week,
and it didn't arrive,
and it didn't arrive.
And when they finally
rushed her to the hospital,
what did she do but have twins.
Ethel, how can I
do anything right
if you keep moving your head?
Well, I got a crick in my neck.
Let me see what I look like.
Boy, I'm not a bit well.
Well, it's not supposed to be
an exact copy of you.
I know that.
Where's my face?
Right there.
What's this supposed to be?
That's your ear.
What's it doing over my mouth?
Well, you moved so much,
I couldn't tell where it was.
What's this?
That's your nose.
On top of my head?
Well, I know it isn't
where it's supposed to be,
but isn't it a nice nose?
It's lovely.
You know, Ethel, I think that
I should do a full-length
figure of you in action.
Okay, you can do a statue of me
running down the back stairs.
Good-bye.
Oh, Ethel Mertz,
you come back here!
Oh, darn it.
Hi, Lucy.
Hi.
I thought I'd find
Ethel up here.
Well, she was,
but she had to
leave for a minute.
I know you're busy,
so I won't bother you.
Fred, turn sideways.
What for?
That profile.
Huh?
You know, I never
noticed it before,
but you have real
classic features.
I do?
Yeah.
Your head is like the
head on a Greek coin.
Hey, Lucy, how long do
I have to stay like this?
I'm getting kind of tired.
Just a few more minutes,
Fred, then you can rest.
I hope so.
What's so funny?
Yes, I fail to see
what's so hilarious.
Oh, no, that getup
that you got on.
And you should see what
she's doing to you over here.
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.
Well, then maybe
I'd better take a look.
Come on, Fred, take a look.
I'll be glad to have you see it.
I think it's coming
along very nicely.
Well, straighten up, Fred.
Take a rest for a while.
I'd be glad to straighten up
except for one thing.
What?
I can't.
Oh, no.
Easy, Rick, easy.
What's the matter?
You better wait.
I'd better go down
and have Ethel put
some liniment on it.
Ah, gee, Fred, I'm sorry.
Ah, it's okay.
As long as I'm in this
position, I think I'll go bowling.
Watch it now, Fred.
Watch it going downstairs.
Take it easy now, Fred.
Take it easy.
Oh, no...
Lucy, look what you did
to poor Hercules Mertz.
I wonder if Michelangelo had
this trouble with his models.
Oh, honey, you can't expect Fred
to pose like a
professional model.
Hey, that's what I need.
What?
A professional model.
Now wait a minute.
They cost a lot of money...
Eight or ten dollars an hour.
Don't you want your child
surrounded by art and culture?
Not at ten bucks
a throw I don't.
Well, if you're
going to be crass...
I am not being crass.
And what does that mean?
It means you care more for
money than you do our child.
I do not, honey.
We just haven't got that
kind of money to spend.
Oh!
Look, honey, we've already
spent a fortune on the baby...
Nursery things,
furniture, layette.
As it is, I'm going to have
to pay for them on time.
It's not that bad.
It is, too. If they
deliver the baby C.O.D.,
I'm going to have
to send him back.
You don't love me or the baby.
Oh, now, honey, you know I do.
You do not.
Now, look, sweetheart.
If I thought that you had
any kind of talent at this,
money would be no object.
Really?
Well, you just ask
Mr. William Abbott...
He's the owner of the art store,
and he's a famous connoisseur,
and he said I was brilliant.
He also wanted to
sell you some clay.
Oh, you have such a
sneaky, suspicious mind.
All right, I'll tell
you what I'll do.
I'll make a deal with you.
I'll get one of the art critics
from one of the papers
to come up to the house
and look at your work.
If he says that you
have any kind of talent,
you can have anything you want.
Really, Ricky?
Yeah, but wait a minute now.
If he says no, that you
don't have any talent,
then you forget
this whole business.
It's a deal. Okay.
Good morning, Lucy.
Hi.
I came to get some more liniment
for Fred's arm.
I'm sorry. I gave
you all we had.
How is his arm?
Is it any better?
It's pretty good.
We got it down to here now.
Well, that's good.
Say, Ethel, would
you do me a favor?
No!
Oh, Ethel, come back here.
I don't want you
to model for me.
I have a model...
Someone who appreciates my work
and who'll pose for me
as long as I want. Who?
Me.
You?
Yes. I'm going to
make a bust of myself.
I thought you'd
already done that.
Ricky's bringing
home an art critic
to look at my work.
And I think that if I make a
perfect replica of my head,
it will really impress him.
Well, I hope your head turns out
better than Fred's arm.
It will.
This book tells
how to make a mold
of anything that
you want to copy.
You mean, you're going
to make a mold of your..?
Yeah. I'm going to
make an impression
of my head and face.
I'm going to put clay in
it, take the mold away,
and I'll have a perfect
replica of my head.
Hey, Lucy, that's
a wonderful idea.
Yeah, and it's so easy, too.
I got the plaster all mixed.
Now listen, "Cover
the object to be copied
"with plaster of paris
and let it remain this way
"until the plaster hardens.
Then crack away..." Lucy!
What?
You mean, you're
going to bury your head
in plaster of paris?
Sure.
But you won't be
able to breathe.
Oh. I never thought of that.
Well, what am I going to do?
It has to be a perfect
likeness to get by that art critic.
Maybe the book tells
some other way to do it.
Let's see.
What's the matter?
Ethel! I can't get my arm out!
You're stuck?
Oh, hey, look, pull, pull hard.
I can't get it out!
Well, let me try...
Oh, Lucy...
Right this way, Mr. Harvey.
You'll see what I mean.
Hi, Ricky.
Oh, hi, Ethel.
Uh, this is, uh, Mr. Harvey,
the art critic of the Times.
Mrs. Mertz, Mr. Harvey.
How do you do?
How do you do?
Uh, where's Lucy?
Oh, she had to go
down to the store.
Well, that's funny.
She knew I was bringing
Mr. Harvey home.
Oh, she'll be right back.
Would you like me
to show you her work?
Oh, no, I th... I think
we better, uh, wait
till Lucy gets here.
Uh, if you don't
mind, Mr. Ricardo,
I always prefer
to look at these
amateur attempts
uh, without the
artist being present.
Oh, all right.
What did she sculpt this time?
She made a head of herself.
She did, huh?
Oh, you should have seen her.
She put up seven
mirrors all around
so she'd cover every angle.
Oh, no.
Oh, this is really pretty good.
Are you ready?
Oh, I can hardly wait.
All right.
There.
Hey, you know something?
It kind of looks like her.
I told you it was good.
This is excellent,
Ricardo, excellent!
It is, huh?
Oh, my boy, believe
me, if this is a sample
of your wife's first
attempt at sculpturing,
you're married to a genius.
Well, what do you know?
Oh, Lucy will be so
happy when she hears this.
Oh, this is fine, fine.
Say, look, do me a favor.
Sure. What?
I-It's always a
tremendous thrill
for me to be in at the launching
of a great artistic career.
Let me buy this.
He wants to buy it.
Buy it?
Yes.
I-I'd like to add it
to my private collection.
Oh, oh, Mr. Harvey,
you can't have that for
your private collection.
I don't... I don't think
Lucy'd want to sell it.
Oh, what are you talking about?
I would think she'd
be delighted to sell it.
Oh, you don't know how
hard she worked on this.
She put a lot of
herself into this statue.
Well, I guess she's right.
I guess it'll have
to be up to Lucy.
Well, I don't have time to wait.
I'm-I'm due at an
art critic's meeting.
Uh, let me know if
she'll sell it, will you?
All right. Thank you for
coming out, Mr. Harvey.
Oh, Mr. Ricardo.
I'd love to have this at
that meeting with me.
Won't you let me buy it?
Well, uh...
no, I-I'm afraid I couldn't
take the responsibility.
I'll pay $500.
Oh, no!
I'll take the responsibility.
Mr. Harvey, you mustn't do that.
This statue isn't worth $500.
Well, I believe
I know what a statue
is worth, Mrs. Mertz.
I'll write you a check.
Thank you.
Um...
uh...
um...
Mr. Harvey,
don't you think you ought
to take another look at this?
It really isn't worth
that much money.
It isn't quite right.
Now look at that mouth.
You know the-the side
of it should be up higher.
Like that.
Ethel!
And this-this side
of it should be lower.
Like that.
Oh, Mrs. Mertz.
And, you know, the
whole thing's too long.
Don't you think it
should be like that?
Ethel, now look what you done!
You ruined it!
Oh, no, she hasn't ruined it.
I haven't?
No.
Uh, do you know something
that when Mrs. Ricardo
is a famous sculptress,
this will be a-a
collector's item. Here.
Thank you. Oh, wait!
I'll deliver it anyplace
you want me to.
Oh, no.
I wouldn't trust this
to any other hands
but my own.
Oh, give me that check!
What kind of a ridiculous...?!
I didn't have anything
to do with this, Mr. Harvey!
Lucy!
The clerk was played
by Leon Belasco,
the store owner was Shep Menken
and the art critic, Paul Harvey.
I Love Lucy is a
Desilu production.
This is the CBS
television network.