I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 2, Episode 14 - Ricky has Labor Pains - full transcript

Ricky develops psychosomatic labor pains.

Hi, Fred.

Listen, did you
call Jim and Morey?

Well, as soon as they get
there, bring them up, huh?

Yeah, I'll have the
television getting warm

and the beer getting cold.

Yeah, we'll watch the
game from up here.

What do you mean
we'll upset Lucy?

Of course not.

Listen, Fred, there is
nothing wrong with Lucy.

She's just having a baby.

Why does everybody treat her



like she's falling
apart or something?

Okay, I'll see you

in a few minutes. Bye.

Honey!

Why did you take
that chair away?

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

I didn't know that
was your chair.

What's the big idea? I
want to watch the ball game.

Oh, honey, you can't watch
television up here today.

What do you mean I can't?

Fred is coming up with
a couple of the guys.

Well, I'm sorry. The
girls are coming over.

They're giving me a baby shower.

Oh, now, honey.



Now, dear, think of the baby.

Think of all the
nice things she'll get.

Well, think of me.

I finally get an afternoon off,

and I can't even
sit in my own home

and watch my own television set.

Now, I am thinking of you.

If it wasn't for
the baby shower,

you'd have to pay for all
that loot I'm going to get.

Well, it might be worth it.

Ricky Ricardo, you're
jealous of the baby.

Oh, now, honey, don't be silly.

Well, then you go to
Fred's and look at the game.

Isn't it nice the girls are
giving me a surprise shower?

Surprise?!

Yeah.

Well, if it's a surprise,
how do you know about it?

Well, how do you think?

Every girl in the club
called up and told me.

Every girl in the club
called up and told you

it was going to be a surprise?

Yeah, yeah.

They knew I'd hate it if they
came over here to surprise me

and the house was a mess,
and I had my hair up in curlers.

I want them to surprise me

but I don't want
them to surprise me.

Yeah, uh-huh.

What are you doing?

Oh...

Trying to pick up this dead
petunia and I got stuck.

Help me, will you?

Oh, honey, come on.

Up you go.

My center of gravity
has shifted a little.

Well, honey, after six
months, you should've learned

there are a few things
that you can't do.

Yeah, that's right.

Here, I'll take them
out for you, honey.

Oh, thank you.

You sit down and rest; go on.

No, honey, I'm all right.

Come on, I want you to
sit down and rest; sit down.

Uh, well, all right,
but in that chair, dear.

Well, honey, that's the
most comfortable chair

in the whole house.

Yeah, I know it's comfortable,

but once I get into
it, I can't get out of it.

Well, honey, I'm
here to help you.

Sit down, be comfortable.

Well...

Go ahead. Come on.

All right.

There you are.

Oh, honey, would you take out

that wastepaper basket too?

Sure.

Whew...

There's a few
bottles under the sink

that ought to go out, too, dear.

Hello?

No, no, thank you.

We already subscribe to all
the magazines we can use.

Thank you.

Hey, what are you doing up?

I thought you couldn't
get up out of that chair.

Oh, well, I was wrong, dear.

It was a cinch.

You better run along now.

The girls will be
here any minute.

Okay.

Say, uh, what am I
supposed to do for lunch?

Oh, honey,

I just haven't got time
to fix lunch for you.

Gee, I forgot all about you.

Yeah, that's been
happening a lot lately.

Aw, gosh, honey, I'm s...

Oh, that's all
right, that's all right.

I guess I can get Fred
to rustle up something.

Well, that would be a lot...

That must be the girls.
Honey, go out the back way.

Go on, go out that way.

Uh... come on in,
the door is open.

Surprise! Surprise!

Surprise! Surprise!

Oh!

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, I never thought...

A surprise for me?

Oh, that's wonderful!

Did you ever see

anything like that in your life?

Oh, I love 'em!
Aren't they adorable?

They're so little!

Look at this that goes with it.

Isn't that cute!

Did you notice these
little shirts, Lucy?

Weren't the girls
generous, Ethel?

Oh, I'll say they were.

Oh, hi, Ricky.

Look at all the wonderful
things the baby and I got.

Oh, gee, that's swell.

Aren't they adorable?

Oh, yeah...

Listen, honey, is dinner ready?

Oh, honey, I've been so busy.

I forgot.

Well, honey, you know what
time I have to get to work.

Oh, yeah, well, I'll fix
something right away.

Look at this. Isn't that cute?

That's cute.

Look at this, honey.
Can't you just...?

Ooh, isn't that darling?

I'll be right back.

Hey, Rick, did you
see today's paper?

No.

You made Winchell's column.

I did? Yeah!

Ricky, Winchell! How wonderful!

No kidding!

Yeah, there's a whole
item here about you.

Oh, imagine me in
Winchell's column.

Yeah. There it is.

"Carrot-topped Lucy Ricardo,
formerly Lucy McGillicuddy

"and currently one of show
business's most beautiful wives

is 'infanticipating.'"

Oh! Isn't that wonderful?

How about that?

It's a nice article
about me, yeah.

You're in there.

You haven't finished
it. Here, read that.

Oh. Oh.

Her husband is the bandleader.

Oh, that's wonderful, dear.

Let me see. Look, Ethel.

Uh... "Lucy Ricardo...

"beautiful..."

"infanticipating."

Aw! We'll have to cut
that out and save it.

It's the first time

the baby's been
mentioned in print.

Hey, you ought to
start a scrapbook.

How 'bout dinner, eh?

That's a wonderful
idea! A baby scrapbook.

How 'bout dinner?

I would love that.

I love keeping scrapbooks.

It'll have to be a great big one

"Would you like dinner, Ricky?

If it's already made
Winchell's column.

"Yeah, I'd love some dinner."

"What would you like?"

"I would like a nice,
big, thick steak; juicy."

"Would you like
some potatoes with it?"

"Yes, please, and put
plenty of butter in the potato."

"How about some onions, Ricky?"

"Oh! I would like to
have some onions."

All right, all right, all right,
I'll fix you something to eat.

Would a nice piece of rare
roast beef make you feel better?

And how.

Okay, coming right up.

Okay.

Aw, gee, it was a
wonderful shower.

Too bad you fellows
couldn't be here.

Well, Ethel, I'd have come,

but I didn't have
a thing to wear.

Oh, you, come on downstairs
and I'll fix your supper.

Bye, Ricky.

Good-bye.

Would this be rare enough?

Oh, Lucy.

Well, I bought it.

I just forgot to
cook it, that's all.

Don't you have anything else?

Uh, yeah, how would
you like a nice, thick,

juicy, delicious...
fried egg sandwich.

No?

Well, the surprise shower
threw me off schedule.

I had a lot of things
to do today, Ricky.

You should see the
list of things I had.

Here, look, look at this.

"Buy roast beef."

Well, congratulations.

Thank you.

"Pick up Ricky's laundry."

Ew...

Now, you're not going to tell me

that I don't have
any clean shirts.

I'm not?

Well, couldn't you
stop by the laundry

on your way to the club?

"Pick up Ricky's
tux at cleaners."

Well, it's only a
couple more blocks

to the cleaners.

I better get going.

I got a lot of things to do.

Uh, you don't mind if I
borrow your list, do you?

No.

Thanks.

Well, honey, you have to eat.

Let me fix you something.

Oh, don't worry
about me. I'll get by.

I'll-I'll-I'll eat.

I'll get something,
somehow, somewhere.

It's the doctor, dear.

Good morning, Ricky.

Hiya, Doc.

Now, what seems
to be the trouble?

You just tell me all about it.

Uh, well, he was very
nauseated this morning.

Oh? And, uh...

Nauseated? Yes,
and he has dizzy spells

and he has pains in his stomach.

Pains in his stomach.

Uh-huh. Hmm.

Every few minutes.

It must be something
I ate last night.

I see.

Yeah, well, I
suppose it's my fault.

I should've gotten
you dinner, dear,

instead of having
that silly shower.

Hmm... Yeah.

Hmm, no temperature.

Mrs. Ricardo, do you mind

if I talk to your husband
alone for a moment?

Oh, not at all.

Is it, is it serious, Doctor?

Is it fatal?

Come on, tell me.

I can take it. Go ahead.

Tell me, Ricky, have you
been feeling neglected lately,

since your wife is
going to have a baby?

Neglected?!

No. Why?

Well...

Think of all your symptoms.

You say you have
morning sickness, right?

Yeah.

Pains in the stomach?

Yeah. Dizziness?

Yeah.

Don't you see, Ricky?

They're exactly
like the symptoms

your wife has
been having lately.

Oh, now, come on, what
are you going to tell me,

that I'm going to have a baby?

No, I can definitely assure you

you are not going
to have a baby.

No kidding.

Now, for this I got to
pay you for a house call?

Now, come on,
stop joking, will you?

I'm not neglected, I'm sick.

I'm surprised you
don't feel neglected.

Why, your wife even said

she couldn't fix
dinner for you last night

because of the baby shower.

So? That didn't bother me.

Listen, if I wanted
to get upset,

I got a hundred things
to get upset about.

She didn't pick up my laundry.

My suits weren't cleaned.

I come home on an afternoon off,

I can't even sit and
watch the ball game.

Now, what are you trying to say,

that I'm sick because I'm
feeling sorry for myself?

Well, not...

Aw, come on, will you?

That's the craziest thing

I ever heard of
in my whole life.

I'm sick because
I ate something.

It didn't land in
the right place.

It gave me a pain.
It made me dizzy.

That's what made me sick.

That's the craziest double-talk
I ever heard in my life.

Well, on second thought,

maybe I better have
another look at you.

Oh...

Ah...

Yes, you definitely
have ptomaine.

Well, that's more like it.

Hi, Lucy.

Oh, hi.

Did you find out

what's the matter
with Ricky yet?

No, the doctor's still in there.

Oh, Doctor, what's
the matter with him?

Oh, it's nothing serious.

You know, Mrs. Ricardo,

sometimes, when
a wife is expecting,

the, uh, husband develops
the same symptoms.

Really? Well, that
seems strange.

Oh, no, no.

It's not unusual.

At a time like this, when
everybody's interest

centers around
the expected child,

the husband feels
left out, neglected.

Oh, I don't think
Ricky feels neglected.

Still, there was that
baby shower yesterday.

Yeah, and you forgot
to fix dinner for him.

Yeah, and I forgot to pick up
his cleaning and his laundry

and he did act kind of
funny about that, didn't he?

Exactly as I thought. You know,

if there was some way
that you could figure out

to make your husband
the center of attention,

I'm sure your
troubles would be over.

Oh. Well, I'll call you later on

to see how you're getting on.

Well, thank you, Dr. Rabwin.

Not at all.

Good day, ladies. Bye.

Oh, my bag.

Now, how am I
going to make Ricky

the center of attention?

I don't know.

Why don't you give
him a baby shower.

Don't try to be
funny. Try to help me.

Hey, you know, that's not
such a bad idea, at that:

A daddy shower.

Yeah! We can have the men come

and give Ricky
presents for the baby.

Who could give it for him?

Fred, who else?

Do you think he would?

He'd love it.

Come on, let's go tell him.

Okay.

What happened?

What'd he say?
Did he like the idea?

He's crazy about it.

You should have seen
him perk up when I told him.

He's practically well already.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Here's the list of fellas
he wants me to invite.

Oh, Fred, I love you.

Mm! Thank you!

Wow!

I love you too, Fred.

Well...

I hate to leave
this little love nest

but I'll see you later.

Okay. Where are you going?

Down to the recreation club.

I've got to make
arrangements for our stag party.

Oh. G'bye.

So long. Bye. Okay. Bye-bye.

Oh, gee, won't they have fun?

Yeah.

Stag party?

What happened to
the baby shower?

Oh, I guess Fred
would feel kind of funny

asking men to a baby shower,

so he's going to
call it a stag party.

Oh.

Stag party, huh?

Well, it's still a baby shower.

It is?

Oh, now, Lucy, don't be silly.

You want Ricky to
get well, don't you?

Sure I want him to get well.

But I'd like to know what
kind of medicine he's using.

When they call a party "stag,"

it means only men are allowed.

It does?

Yeah.

Doesn't it?

Well, there's one
good way to find out.

How?

What if a couple of
uninvited stags showed up?

Uninvited sta...?

You mean...?

Yeah.

Oh, Lucy!

We could disguise ourselves.

What are you going to
go as, an expectant father?

Even if we could
disguise ourselves,

they know everybody
who's going to be there.

Well, now, just leave it to me.

I'll think of something.

Sure. Yes, sir.

Well, we'll be
happy to have you.

Yeah, well, come right over.

Okay, thank you. Bye.

Hey, Fred?

Yeah?

This is getting to
be quite an affair.

Why?

Well, you know who
that was on the phone?

No. It's a reporter.

Yeah. He wants to
bring a photographer over

and they want to cover
the first daddy shower.

Well, that sounds interesting.

What paper was it?

He didn't say.

Wouldn't it be wonderful

if we made the society page?

Oh, boy.

I can see it now.

"Fred Mertz poured last night

"for Ricky Ricardo

and some of his
most intimate slobs."

Well, here's the gang.

Hi! Congratulations.

Break it up, now,
boys. Break it up.

Now, remember, this is a shower,

and let's do it right.

Now, first, everybody
put their presents

on that table.

All right...

right over here.

Oh, fellas!

Oh, gee whiz.

Oh, isn't that...?

Look... "From Jerry."

Oh, yeah.

Oh, Jerry, you
didn't have to do it.

Oh, well, it was nothing, Rick.

Just what I always wanted.

Oh, just a little something
I thought you could use.

Oh, that's nice.

Well, let's start opening
the presents, huh?

Yes?

Is this the Ricardo party?

Yes, I'm Ricky Ricardo.

How do you do?

I'm from the paper. Press.

Uh, press. Yeah, press.

I see, yeah, well, what
paper are you from?

The New York Times.
The Herald Tribune.

The Herald Tribune.
The New York Times.

Well, actually, it
isn't generally known,

but, uh, it's the New York
Herald Times Tribune.

Isn't that right, Sam?

Yeah, that's right, Pete.

Uh, uh...

uh, listen, uh, you-you
make yourself at home.

Will you, uh, will you
pardon me for a minute?

Sure, go ahead,
take your shower.

I mean, have your shower.

What are you
saving kings for, fella?

Listen, I want you to meet
a couple of great guys here.

Jerry, this is Pete.

How are you, Pete?

Sam, this is Fred. Fred Mertz.

Pete, how are you?

Fred Mertz? Glad to
know you, Fred Mertz.

Uh, this, uh,

the boys are from
the newspapers.

They're coming over to
write about our daddy shower.

Isn't that nice?

Oh, is that right? Yeah.

Well, uh, what do
you like to know?

Well, now, whose idea
was this here shower?

Uh, that was mine.

Oh, is that so, Mr. Mertz?

Yes. I said to my
old battle ax, I said...

"Why should the mother...

"why should the mothers
get all the breaks?

Why don't we do something
about the fathers?"

Oh, you said that, huh?

That's what I said, yeah.

You're looking for
a story, are you?

I sure am.

Well, I've got a great
story for you, Pete.

Oh, well, go ahead.

Yeah! Of course,
you'd never be able

to print this in a
newspaper, you know.

Tell it, Jerry. Go on!

All right. All right.

Well, you see,
there was this fella...

He was a bachelor, a
sort of a man about town,

and he goes into
this nightclub in Paris.

Ah...!

You say this whole thing
was your idea, huh, Mr. Mertz?

Just a minute, Pete.

Just a minute, will you?

Just let the young
man tell his...

Yeah, let him tell
the story, will you?

Come back here,
please? Let the fella tell it.

Now, one night, he goes
into this nightclub, see?

Uh-huh, yeah.

And this beautiful
girl, a cancan dancer,

Yeah, yeah?

She's doing her act. Uh-huh.

She's dancing, see?

And this fella walks
right up on the stage.

Uh-huh! She what I mean?

She's dancing,
and he's right there

in the middle of the stage.

Now, do you get the picture?

Uh, picture. Yeah, yeah.

Oh... Oh...!

Where'd he go?

Where'd everybody go?

Hey, hey, this
way, this way, Pete.

That you, Sam?

Yeah, that's me.

Come on, right this way.

I'm sorry we have to
break this up, fellas,

but I guess we'll
have to go now.

Well, so long, fellas.

Yeah, well, good-bye, Sam.

Good-bye. Good-bye, Pete.

So long.

Bye-bye.

Good-bye, Lucy.

Good-bye, Ethel.

Ricky Ricardo!

I'm over here, honey. Over
here, over here, over here.

Oh.

How did you know?

Well, for one thing,

you're wearing my best tie

and for another thing,

you're the only man that I know

that keep his mustache
on with Scotch tape.

Fred, how did you see
through my disguise?

What disguise?

Well, we just wanted to see
what went on at a stag party.

Are you mad?

No, sweetheart, I'm not mad.

Oh, that tickles.

Ooh, it's cold outside.

Hi. Did you get everything?

Yeah, I got everything.

But if you don't stop
having these silly cravings

at 4:00 in the morning,
I'm gonna freeze to death.

Here.

Is this pistachio?

Yeah, that's pistachio.

Here's your spoon.

Which is that?

Hot fudge.

Pour it on top.

That's right.

Ooh. Now, pour that
right on top of this.

But, honey, these are sardines.

I know.

Right on top.

Oh, boy.

Honey, how can
you possibly eat that?

Wonderful. Mmm!

You know, I'm surprised

that you didn't
get any cravings.

Me? When?

When you were sick the other day

'cause you weren't
getting enough attention.

I was sick because
I ate something

that made me sick.

Yes, dear.

Well, I was!

Yeah. All right.

You were.

Funny how you
snapped out of it, though,

after the doctor told
us what we should do.

What do you mean?

Uh... nothing, dear.

Did the doctor tell you

to give me that daddy shower

just so I get some attention?

No.

No, he just said that if
we, you know, kind of

made you feel that, well...

What's the matter?

I don't know.

I feel kind of funny.

Again?!

Hey, that looks pretty good.

Give me some, will you?

Are you crazy?
No, I'm not crazy.

Now don't be silly.

That looks good. I
got to have some.

Now, come on,
give me some of that.

Ricky! Ricky, now stop!

Jerry was played
by Jerry Hausner

and the doctor by Lou Merrill.

I Love Lucy is a
Desilu production.

This is the CBS
Television Network.