I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 1, Episode 8 - Men Are Messy - full transcript
Annoyed at Ricky's messiness, Lucy divides the apartment into two halves: one for each of them to live in.
Hello.
Oh, hi, Ethel.
Oh, just straightening up.
You know I can't stand
it if the house isn't neat.
A place for everything
and everything in its place.
That's the way I like it.
Well, Ricky ought to
be home any minute.
No, I had dinner.
Ricky ate downtown at the club.
Gee, I don't know
what we're doing tonight.
I'll call you back
after Ricky gets home.
Okay, dear.
Ah...
Ay!
Hello, Ricky baby, I...
Hi.
Well!
What's the matter?
How could a cyclone hit in here
and not hit in the kitchen?
What are you talking
about, a cyclone?
Well, something hit this room.
Where? I don't
see anything wrong.
Oh, you don't?
Would you mind
telling me, please,
what all these clothes are
doing here in the living room?
Oh, that's where
I took them off.
Would you put them
away for me, dear?
Look, honey, there's a new
invention you'll just love...
It's a hole in the wall,
has a long pole in it,
little metal things
hanging on it
and it's called a coat closet.
Well, what won't
they think of next?
Oh, honestly, Ricky.
How can you men
be so sloppy and dirty?
You're nothing but a
bunch of mess cats.
There's nothing sloppy
and dirty about this room.
It just looks, uh, lived in.
Well, that's a good answer
if you happen to be a pig.
Honey, just drop
the subject, will you?
I'd be glad to drop it
if there's any more
room on the floor.
You can't expect me
to live in a museum.
A man's home is his
castle, and this is my castle.
Oh, all right, Your Majesty.
I bow to Ricardo the first...
king of the slobs.
Thank you, my faithful subject.
Don't expect this slave
to pick up after you.
If you want the house
to look like this, okay,
you can just sit
and wallow in it.
Ay, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy.
Well, here's a whole spread
on Tommy Dorsey at home,
and you know something?
What?
He has his shoes
on and a tie, too.
Yeah? What-what
magazine is that?
Your musician's
magazine, The Half Beat.
It is?
Let me see that.
Well, how do you like that?
My press agent told me
I was going to get
the next spread.
It was going to be
"Ricky Ricardo At Home."
What magazine
was it going to be in,
Better Homes and Garbage?
No, smarty, in that magazine.
That's a very important magazine
in the music business.
Wait till I hear from Kenny.
Some press agent he is.
Hello.
Hi, Ethel.
Hi, dear.
No, I don't think
we're doing anything.
Why don't you and
Fred come on up.
Okay.
Ethel and Fred are
coming up, honey.
Put your shoes on and
pick up those papers.
What for?
Because company is coming.
It isn't company,
it's Fred and Ethel.
Well, put your shoes on.
They know I have feet.
Ricky, are you going to help me
clean up this
place or aren't you?
No, this is my home
and I want to be
comfortable in it.
Your home?
What does that make
me, a visiting relative?
Oh, honey, I didn't
mean it that way.
You know, I was
under the impression
that half of everything
in this house was mine.
All right, all right,
you go ahead and clean
your half of everything
and leave my half
just the way it is.
All right, we'll divide
the room in half.
I'll keep my half
the way I want to,
you keep your half
any way you please.
Are you kidding?
No, I'm very serious.
Huh.
We'll make a line
right about here.
Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.
Esta mujer esta
absolutamente loca.
Never mind that.
Now, honey, wait just a minute.
Just stay right over there.
That's your line.
You can't come over
here without a passport.
Oh, for goodness' sakes.
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
That's on the line.
I just want a cigarette!
Well, half of what's
in this pack is mine.
You mean that's the only
cigarette we have in the house?
Yep. You get Philip
and I get Morris.
Stay off my side.
Oh, I forgot about the Mertzes.
What are these
things doing over here
on my side?
Come in.
Hi, Lucy.
Hi, folks. Hi.
What's this?
Before you settle down, whose
side do you want to sit on?
Huh?
Over there in the
neat side of the house,
or over here with us mess cats?
What's going on here?
Well, Ricky and I
had an argument
about his being so messy,
so I divided the
apartment in two.
This is my side,
that's Ricky's side.
I wondered what
happened over there.
What's the matter with it?
It looks okay to me.
Okay?
Sure, there's nothing wrong.
Just looks lived in.
Attaboy, Fred.
Would you like to join me
in the comfortable
part of the house?
Delighted.
Well, pull up some
debris and sit down, Fred.
Don't touch anything
on your way over here.
Everything over
there is sterilized.
Lucy, do you mind
if I sit on this side?
No, I think you might find it
rather pleasant over here...
until the wind changes.
Why don't you take
your shoes off, Fred?
Oh, can I do that?
Yeah.
Oh, gee, thanks.
Ah, what a relief.
Take your coat off.
Well, thanks.
Thank you.
Here, I'll hang it up for you.
Ah.
Go ahead.
Would you like some fruit?
Yeah, I love fruit.
All right.
Here, Fred, have a banana.
Thanks.
Good-looking banana.
Uh-uh-uh.
It's on the line.
We have to answer it.
We're going to.
Hello?
Well, go ahead, listen to
your half and see who it is.
Oh, it's Kenny, my press agent.
Tell him I'm plenty mad at him.
Hello, Kenny, Ricky says to
tell you he's plenty mad at you.
Why am I mad at you?
Why am I mad at you?
Huh! Because you've
been promising me
a spread in Half
Beat Note magazine
since last February.
'Splain that if you can.
Because you've been promising me
a spread in Half Beat magazine
since last February.
'Splain that if you can.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
I see.
I see.
They're gonna do
the next one on me.
Okay. Well, so
long, kid, take it easy.
Well, so long,
kid, take a-t-easy.
If I hadn't seen it, I
wouldn't believe it.
Well, I saw it, and I
still don't believe it.
Come on, Fred, you
want some cold beer?
Yeah, I'd love it.
I think I got some cold chicken
in the icebox, too. Come on.
Uh-uh-uh, kitchen's
on my side, remember.
You mean I can never
go into the kitchen?
And stand back a little;
you're over the line.
What am I supposed
to do, starve to death?
Oh, I'll toss you a crust
of bread now and then.
Hungry, Ethel?
Are you kidding?
Come on, we'll have
some beer and cold chicken,
and we'll toss the
bottles and bones
on Ricky's side.
Oh, say, remind me...
I want to show you
some bath salts that I got.
They were on sale.
Oh, show them to me now. Okay.
Uh-uh-uh, may I
see your passport?
I just want to show Ethel
my new bath salts.
Well, I'm terribly sorry,
but the bathroom is on my side.
Do you mean that I can never go
into the bathroom?
That's right.
No more taking a shower,
no more washing your face,
no more doing whatever
it is you do to your hair.
Well, no more food for you.
Okay, we'll see who
holds out the longest.
Come back in a
couple of weeks, Ethel.
We'll still be here...
A starving Cuban
and a dirty brunette.
♪ Whenever old man
trouble makes trouble arise ♪
♪ Just put a big straw
hat over your eyes ♪
♪ You'll never see the
circumstance making you... ♪
Sure is this a new number?
It is, Maggie.
Oh, glory be, I've
got to see this.
Now, don't do, don't
do it till I get seated.
Okay.
You know, you're my best critic.
Are you ready? I am.
♪ Whenever old man trouble ♪
♪ Makes trouble arise ♪
♪ Just put a big straw
hat over your eyes ♪
♪ You'll never see the
circumstance making you frown ♪
♪ If you just push your
eyes under the crown. ♪
♪ Life can be a simple thing ♪
♪ A simple thing
to laugh and sing ♪
♪ Get yourself a hat
of straw and put it on ♪
♪ Don't take it off ♪
♪ And when the landlord
tells you the rent's in arrears ♪
♪ A big straw hat
over your ears ♪
♪ You'll never hear the
dialogue tragically grim ♪
♪ If you just push your
ear, mm! Under the brim. ♪
¡Agua!
¡Arriba!
Yeah!
¡Agua! ¡Agua!
Very good, Maggie.
Hey!
Hey!
Very good!
Yeah!
♪ Oh... life can
be a simple thing ♪
♪ A simple thing ♪
♪ To laugh and sing ♪
♪ Get yourself a hat of straw ♪
♪ Put it on... ♪
♪ Don't take it off... ♪
No.
♪ And... pretty soon ♪
♪ Your troubles will
come to an end ♪
♪ Because you will not see ♪
♪ Or hear it, my friend ♪
♪ To visualize permanent
sun in the skies ♪
♪ A big... straw... ♪
♪ Hat... down... ♪
♪ A big straw hat
down over your eyes. ♪
Yeah!
Well?
Oh, that's wonderful.
Oh, thank you, Maggie,
thank you very much.
I'm sure the
pleasure was all mine.
Oh, that's it.
All right, fellas.
All right, take ten.
Take ten.
And I mean ten,
not half an hour.
Hi, Rick.
Hi, Kenny.
How is this for fast action?
I promised you last night
you were going to get
the next magazine spread.
Meet the photographer who's
going to shoot it, Jim White.
Hello, Jim.
Hello, Ricky.
I'd like to shoot
those pictures tonight.
All right, I think tonight
will be wonderful.
You should get very
good stuff here tonight.
Yeah, and I'll tell
you something else
I'd like to do, Ricky...
Some pictures of your home life.
Oh, sure.
What kind of a
place have you got?
Well, I have a little apartment
in a reconverted brownstone.
Say, I'd better call the wife
and tell her you're coming.
Give her a little warning, eh?
Well, to tell you
the truth, James,
she doesn't need any
warning, you know.
She's the best little
housekeeper you ever saw.
Everything is always
as neat as a pin.
Well, we got to go.
Jim will meet you
here after rehearsal,
and you can take
him out to the house.
Okay, I'll see you then.
Fine. Bye.
Oh, you don't say,
Marge, is that so?
Really?
Well, it's certainly good
to get the other side of
the story for a change.
Hey, do you know we've
been gabbing for 45 minutes?
Yeah, well, let's get
together next week
and have a real talk.
Okay, dear, bye.
Hi.
Oh, hi, Ethel.
Welcome to tobacco road.
How did Ricky get out
of the house this morning
without crossing the line?
Through the bedroom window?
No, he used the back door.
We made a deal: I swapped
him kitchen privileges
for bathroom rights.
Lucy, how long can this go on?
Oh, it's over now.
I'm going to clean up
the whole house this afternoon.
Well, thank goodness.
Oh, I forgot what I came up for.
Ricky just called me.
Your line was busy.
What'd he want?
He said to tell
you he's bringing
a magazine photographer home
tonight to take some pictures,
and he wants you to clean
up the house perfectly... all of it.
Oh, he won't keep
it clean for me,
but when it's important for him,
he wants the whole house
cleaned up perfectly... all of it.
Let's face it, he's a man.
Serve him right if I left it
just the way it is.
Yeah.
Hey, I'll do it.
Oh, Lucy, you wouldn't.
Yes, I would.
What about that photographer?
Oh, that doesn't matter.
It's just for that silly
musician's magazine.
Nobody ever reads it anyway.
And as soon as I make my point,
I'll tell him it's a gag.
And as long as it's a gag, I
might as well go whole hog.
Ethel, will you help me?
Sure, what do you want me to do?
Well, listen, when Ricky comes
home with that photographer,
we'll have the whole place...
Well, here we are, Jim...
What's all this?
Is this your apartment?
Well, it sure doesn't
look anything like the...
Well, what do you know, Jim?
We got into the wrong
apartment after all.
Let's get out of here.
Hi, Ricky honey.
Say...
Say!
What gives here?
Do you know who this is?
I don't even know what it is.
Get me a stick and I'll kill it.
Aren't you going to introduce
your bitty, bitty bride?
Lucy, I swear...
Is this your wife?
Why, sure!
Yes, Jim.
This is my wife.
Lucy, meet Jim White.
Pleased to meet ya.
Whoa! I got an itch.
Ah...
Lucy...
Lucy, whatever
you're up to, cut it out.
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
Look at the way
this place looks!
Yeah, it looks
pretty good, don't it?
You should have seen
it 'fore I cleaned it up.
It's a regular pigpen!
Oh, it ain't a regular
one, but it'll do.
You know we don't
keep pigs in here...
Just chickens!
Jim, Jim, please, please.
Please, Jim, now,
look, believe me,
this place has never looked
like this before in my whole life
and... and there isn't a chicken
within ten miles of here!
Boy, she's flying
high tonight, ain't she!
Oh, Lucy, Lucy...
Lucy, please, Lucy,
come on, let's clean it up.
Here, chick, chick, chick,
chick, chick, chick, chick...
Honey...
honey, do you realize
that this man is a very
important photographer?
Oh, boy! Take my picture,
will ya, sonny?
I'd be glad to.
Oh, wait a minute, I
got to comb my hair.
There we are.
Ha-ha!
Yeah, boy.
Oh, no.
Ay!
Ah...
Oh, my God.
Ha, it's messy, ain't it?
I got to see if my
clothes are dry.
Grandma!
You been hangin' there all day?
Yep.
Must have been quite a trip
coming through the
washing machine.
I didn't mind the
washing machine,
but I durn near passed out
comin' through the wringer.
Well, come on, grandma,
we're goin' huntin'.
Gotta bag our supper.
Huntin'? Huntin'!
♪ Get ready, get
ready, get ready ♪
♪ A-huntin' we will go ♪
♪ A-huntin' we will go ♪
♪ Hi-ho dee-da-dee-die ♪
♪ A-huntin' we will go. ♪
♪ A-huntin' we will go ♪
♪ A-huntin' we will go... ♪
Jim, please believe me...
I don't know what's
going on here.
I-I've seen her do
strange things before
but this time I think she
really snapped her cap.
She-she says
she's going hunting.
Hunting. Hunting in the bedroom.
How do you like that.
That's the most
ridiculous thing...
What is that?!
What happened?
♪ A-huntin' we will go,
a-huntin' we will go ♪
♪ And a-huntin' we will go. ♪
Whew!
Well, well.
This ought to give your
musician fellas a laugh, huh?
What do you mean,
musician fellas?
Well, who else reads your durn
magazine but musician fellas?
Yeah.
Lucy...
Huh?
This man is not from...
from Half Beat magazine.
He ain't?
No, I'm from Look magazine.
Ewwwww...
Hi, Lucy.
Honey, what's the matter?
Look magazine came out today.
Oh, did they do
the spread on me?
How did it look?
Oh, it was wonderful for you.
They showed the
nightclub and the band
and the shots of you singing.
Well, honey, what
are you crying about?
Jim White promised
me he wouldn't use
single picture of
you in the article.
No, I wasn't in the article.
I made the cover.
Oh, hi, Ethel.
Oh, just straightening up.
You know I can't stand
it if the house isn't neat.
A place for everything
and everything in its place.
That's the way I like it.
Well, Ricky ought to
be home any minute.
No, I had dinner.
Ricky ate downtown at the club.
Gee, I don't know
what we're doing tonight.
I'll call you back
after Ricky gets home.
Okay, dear.
Ah...
Ay!
Hello, Ricky baby, I...
Hi.
Well!
What's the matter?
How could a cyclone hit in here
and not hit in the kitchen?
What are you talking
about, a cyclone?
Well, something hit this room.
Where? I don't
see anything wrong.
Oh, you don't?
Would you mind
telling me, please,
what all these clothes are
doing here in the living room?
Oh, that's where
I took them off.
Would you put them
away for me, dear?
Look, honey, there's a new
invention you'll just love...
It's a hole in the wall,
has a long pole in it,
little metal things
hanging on it
and it's called a coat closet.
Well, what won't
they think of next?
Oh, honestly, Ricky.
How can you men
be so sloppy and dirty?
You're nothing but a
bunch of mess cats.
There's nothing sloppy
and dirty about this room.
It just looks, uh, lived in.
Well, that's a good answer
if you happen to be a pig.
Honey, just drop
the subject, will you?
I'd be glad to drop it
if there's any more
room on the floor.
You can't expect me
to live in a museum.
A man's home is his
castle, and this is my castle.
Oh, all right, Your Majesty.
I bow to Ricardo the first...
king of the slobs.
Thank you, my faithful subject.
Don't expect this slave
to pick up after you.
If you want the house
to look like this, okay,
you can just sit
and wallow in it.
Ay, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy.
Well, here's a whole spread
on Tommy Dorsey at home,
and you know something?
What?
He has his shoes
on and a tie, too.
Yeah? What-what
magazine is that?
Your musician's
magazine, The Half Beat.
It is?
Let me see that.
Well, how do you like that?
My press agent told me
I was going to get
the next spread.
It was going to be
"Ricky Ricardo At Home."
What magazine
was it going to be in,
Better Homes and Garbage?
No, smarty, in that magazine.
That's a very important magazine
in the music business.
Wait till I hear from Kenny.
Some press agent he is.
Hello.
Hi, Ethel.
Hi, dear.
No, I don't think
we're doing anything.
Why don't you and
Fred come on up.
Okay.
Ethel and Fred are
coming up, honey.
Put your shoes on and
pick up those papers.
What for?
Because company is coming.
It isn't company,
it's Fred and Ethel.
Well, put your shoes on.
They know I have feet.
Ricky, are you going to help me
clean up this
place or aren't you?
No, this is my home
and I want to be
comfortable in it.
Your home?
What does that make
me, a visiting relative?
Oh, honey, I didn't
mean it that way.
You know, I was
under the impression
that half of everything
in this house was mine.
All right, all right,
you go ahead and clean
your half of everything
and leave my half
just the way it is.
All right, we'll divide
the room in half.
I'll keep my half
the way I want to,
you keep your half
any way you please.
Are you kidding?
No, I'm very serious.
Huh.
We'll make a line
right about here.
Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.
Esta mujer esta
absolutamente loca.
Never mind that.
Now, honey, wait just a minute.
Just stay right over there.
That's your line.
You can't come over
here without a passport.
Oh, for goodness' sakes.
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
That's on the line.
I just want a cigarette!
Well, half of what's
in this pack is mine.
You mean that's the only
cigarette we have in the house?
Yep. You get Philip
and I get Morris.
Stay off my side.
Oh, I forgot about the Mertzes.
What are these
things doing over here
on my side?
Come in.
Hi, Lucy.
Hi, folks. Hi.
What's this?
Before you settle down, whose
side do you want to sit on?
Huh?
Over there in the
neat side of the house,
or over here with us mess cats?
What's going on here?
Well, Ricky and I
had an argument
about his being so messy,
so I divided the
apartment in two.
This is my side,
that's Ricky's side.
I wondered what
happened over there.
What's the matter with it?
It looks okay to me.
Okay?
Sure, there's nothing wrong.
Just looks lived in.
Attaboy, Fred.
Would you like to join me
in the comfortable
part of the house?
Delighted.
Well, pull up some
debris and sit down, Fred.
Don't touch anything
on your way over here.
Everything over
there is sterilized.
Lucy, do you mind
if I sit on this side?
No, I think you might find it
rather pleasant over here...
until the wind changes.
Why don't you take
your shoes off, Fred?
Oh, can I do that?
Yeah.
Oh, gee, thanks.
Ah, what a relief.
Take your coat off.
Well, thanks.
Thank you.
Here, I'll hang it up for you.
Ah.
Go ahead.
Would you like some fruit?
Yeah, I love fruit.
All right.
Here, Fred, have a banana.
Thanks.
Good-looking banana.
Uh-uh-uh.
It's on the line.
We have to answer it.
We're going to.
Hello?
Well, go ahead, listen to
your half and see who it is.
Oh, it's Kenny, my press agent.
Tell him I'm plenty mad at him.
Hello, Kenny, Ricky says to
tell you he's plenty mad at you.
Why am I mad at you?
Why am I mad at you?
Huh! Because you've
been promising me
a spread in Half
Beat Note magazine
since last February.
'Splain that if you can.
Because you've been promising me
a spread in Half Beat magazine
since last February.
'Splain that if you can.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
I see.
I see.
They're gonna do
the next one on me.
Okay. Well, so
long, kid, take it easy.
Well, so long,
kid, take a-t-easy.
If I hadn't seen it, I
wouldn't believe it.
Well, I saw it, and I
still don't believe it.
Come on, Fred, you
want some cold beer?
Yeah, I'd love it.
I think I got some cold chicken
in the icebox, too. Come on.
Uh-uh-uh, kitchen's
on my side, remember.
You mean I can never
go into the kitchen?
And stand back a little;
you're over the line.
What am I supposed
to do, starve to death?
Oh, I'll toss you a crust
of bread now and then.
Hungry, Ethel?
Are you kidding?
Come on, we'll have
some beer and cold chicken,
and we'll toss the
bottles and bones
on Ricky's side.
Oh, say, remind me...
I want to show you
some bath salts that I got.
They were on sale.
Oh, show them to me now. Okay.
Uh-uh-uh, may I
see your passport?
I just want to show Ethel
my new bath salts.
Well, I'm terribly sorry,
but the bathroom is on my side.
Do you mean that I can never go
into the bathroom?
That's right.
No more taking a shower,
no more washing your face,
no more doing whatever
it is you do to your hair.
Well, no more food for you.
Okay, we'll see who
holds out the longest.
Come back in a
couple of weeks, Ethel.
We'll still be here...
A starving Cuban
and a dirty brunette.
♪ Whenever old man
trouble makes trouble arise ♪
♪ Just put a big straw
hat over your eyes ♪
♪ You'll never see the
circumstance making you... ♪
Sure is this a new number?
It is, Maggie.
Oh, glory be, I've
got to see this.
Now, don't do, don't
do it till I get seated.
Okay.
You know, you're my best critic.
Are you ready? I am.
♪ Whenever old man trouble ♪
♪ Makes trouble arise ♪
♪ Just put a big straw
hat over your eyes ♪
♪ You'll never see the
circumstance making you frown ♪
♪ If you just push your
eyes under the crown. ♪
♪ Life can be a simple thing ♪
♪ A simple thing
to laugh and sing ♪
♪ Get yourself a hat
of straw and put it on ♪
♪ Don't take it off ♪
♪ And when the landlord
tells you the rent's in arrears ♪
♪ A big straw hat
over your ears ♪
♪ You'll never hear the
dialogue tragically grim ♪
♪ If you just push your
ear, mm! Under the brim. ♪
¡Agua!
¡Arriba!
Yeah!
¡Agua! ¡Agua!
Very good, Maggie.
Hey!
Hey!
Very good!
Yeah!
♪ Oh... life can
be a simple thing ♪
♪ A simple thing ♪
♪ To laugh and sing ♪
♪ Get yourself a hat of straw ♪
♪ Put it on... ♪
♪ Don't take it off... ♪
No.
♪ And... pretty soon ♪
♪ Your troubles will
come to an end ♪
♪ Because you will not see ♪
♪ Or hear it, my friend ♪
♪ To visualize permanent
sun in the skies ♪
♪ A big... straw... ♪
♪ Hat... down... ♪
♪ A big straw hat
down over your eyes. ♪
Yeah!
Well?
Oh, that's wonderful.
Oh, thank you, Maggie,
thank you very much.
I'm sure the
pleasure was all mine.
Oh, that's it.
All right, fellas.
All right, take ten.
Take ten.
And I mean ten,
not half an hour.
Hi, Rick.
Hi, Kenny.
How is this for fast action?
I promised you last night
you were going to get
the next magazine spread.
Meet the photographer who's
going to shoot it, Jim White.
Hello, Jim.
Hello, Ricky.
I'd like to shoot
those pictures tonight.
All right, I think tonight
will be wonderful.
You should get very
good stuff here tonight.
Yeah, and I'll tell
you something else
I'd like to do, Ricky...
Some pictures of your home life.
Oh, sure.
What kind of a
place have you got?
Well, I have a little apartment
in a reconverted brownstone.
Say, I'd better call the wife
and tell her you're coming.
Give her a little warning, eh?
Well, to tell you
the truth, James,
she doesn't need any
warning, you know.
She's the best little
housekeeper you ever saw.
Everything is always
as neat as a pin.
Well, we got to go.
Jim will meet you
here after rehearsal,
and you can take
him out to the house.
Okay, I'll see you then.
Fine. Bye.
Oh, you don't say,
Marge, is that so?
Really?
Well, it's certainly good
to get the other side of
the story for a change.
Hey, do you know we've
been gabbing for 45 minutes?
Yeah, well, let's get
together next week
and have a real talk.
Okay, dear, bye.
Hi.
Oh, hi, Ethel.
Welcome to tobacco road.
How did Ricky get out
of the house this morning
without crossing the line?
Through the bedroom window?
No, he used the back door.
We made a deal: I swapped
him kitchen privileges
for bathroom rights.
Lucy, how long can this go on?
Oh, it's over now.
I'm going to clean up
the whole house this afternoon.
Well, thank goodness.
Oh, I forgot what I came up for.
Ricky just called me.
Your line was busy.
What'd he want?
He said to tell
you he's bringing
a magazine photographer home
tonight to take some pictures,
and he wants you to clean
up the house perfectly... all of it.
Oh, he won't keep
it clean for me,
but when it's important for him,
he wants the whole house
cleaned up perfectly... all of it.
Let's face it, he's a man.
Serve him right if I left it
just the way it is.
Yeah.
Hey, I'll do it.
Oh, Lucy, you wouldn't.
Yes, I would.
What about that photographer?
Oh, that doesn't matter.
It's just for that silly
musician's magazine.
Nobody ever reads it anyway.
And as soon as I make my point,
I'll tell him it's a gag.
And as long as it's a gag, I
might as well go whole hog.
Ethel, will you help me?
Sure, what do you want me to do?
Well, listen, when Ricky comes
home with that photographer,
we'll have the whole place...
Well, here we are, Jim...
What's all this?
Is this your apartment?
Well, it sure doesn't
look anything like the...
Well, what do you know, Jim?
We got into the wrong
apartment after all.
Let's get out of here.
Hi, Ricky honey.
Say...
Say!
What gives here?
Do you know who this is?
I don't even know what it is.
Get me a stick and I'll kill it.
Aren't you going to introduce
your bitty, bitty bride?
Lucy, I swear...
Is this your wife?
Why, sure!
Yes, Jim.
This is my wife.
Lucy, meet Jim White.
Pleased to meet ya.
Whoa! I got an itch.
Ah...
Lucy...
Lucy, whatever
you're up to, cut it out.
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
Look at the way
this place looks!
Yeah, it looks
pretty good, don't it?
You should have seen
it 'fore I cleaned it up.
It's a regular pigpen!
Oh, it ain't a regular
one, but it'll do.
You know we don't
keep pigs in here...
Just chickens!
Jim, Jim, please, please.
Please, Jim, now,
look, believe me,
this place has never looked
like this before in my whole life
and... and there isn't a chicken
within ten miles of here!
Boy, she's flying
high tonight, ain't she!
Oh, Lucy, Lucy...
Lucy, please, Lucy,
come on, let's clean it up.
Here, chick, chick, chick,
chick, chick, chick, chick...
Honey...
honey, do you realize
that this man is a very
important photographer?
Oh, boy! Take my picture,
will ya, sonny?
I'd be glad to.
Oh, wait a minute, I
got to comb my hair.
There we are.
Ha-ha!
Yeah, boy.
Oh, no.
Ay!
Ah...
Oh, my God.
Ha, it's messy, ain't it?
I got to see if my
clothes are dry.
Grandma!
You been hangin' there all day?
Yep.
Must have been quite a trip
coming through the
washing machine.
I didn't mind the
washing machine,
but I durn near passed out
comin' through the wringer.
Well, come on, grandma,
we're goin' huntin'.
Gotta bag our supper.
Huntin'? Huntin'!
♪ Get ready, get
ready, get ready ♪
♪ A-huntin' we will go ♪
♪ A-huntin' we will go ♪
♪ Hi-ho dee-da-dee-die ♪
♪ A-huntin' we will go. ♪
♪ A-huntin' we will go ♪
♪ A-huntin' we will go... ♪
Jim, please believe me...
I don't know what's
going on here.
I-I've seen her do
strange things before
but this time I think she
really snapped her cap.
She-she says
she's going hunting.
Hunting. Hunting in the bedroom.
How do you like that.
That's the most
ridiculous thing...
What is that?!
What happened?
♪ A-huntin' we will go,
a-huntin' we will go ♪
♪ And a-huntin' we will go. ♪
Whew!
Well, well.
This ought to give your
musician fellas a laugh, huh?
What do you mean,
musician fellas?
Well, who else reads your durn
magazine but musician fellas?
Yeah.
Lucy...
Huh?
This man is not from...
from Half Beat magazine.
He ain't?
No, I'm from Look magazine.
Ewwwww...
Hi, Lucy.
Honey, what's the matter?
Look magazine came out today.
Oh, did they do
the spread on me?
How did it look?
Oh, it was wonderful for you.
They showed the
nightclub and the band
and the shots of you singing.
Well, honey, what
are you crying about?
Jim White promised
me he wouldn't use
single picture of
you in the article.
No, I wasn't in the article.
I made the cover.