I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 1, Episode 33 - Lucy's Schedule - full transcript
After Lucy causes them to be late for dinner with Ricky's new boss, he puts her on a tight schedule.
Lucy, for goodness'
sakes, aren't you ready yet?
I'll be ready in a minute, dear.
Hurry up, we're going to miss
the start of the movie.
I'll be ready in a minute, dear.
I wonder what time
that feature starts.
What did you do with the paper?
I'll be ready in a minute, dear.
"I'll be ready in
a minute, dear."
"I'll be ready in
a minute, dear."
Ay-ay-ay.
Oh, there it is.
High Noon, Gary Cooper...
8:23!
I'll be ready in a minute, dear.
Ay-ay-ay.
Lucy, you haven't even
got your dress on yet.
You were supposed
to be ready an hour ago.
Well, it's all your fault.
My fault?
Yes, I wasted an hour
telling you I'd be
ready in a minute.
Oh, now, come on,
what are you doing?
Now, honey, I'm almost ready
and you're not helping any.
If you want to make
yourself useful,
get a dress out
for me to put on.
All right, all right.
Which, which dress
you want to wear?
Well, which dress
you want to put on?
I'm thinking.
I can't make up my mind.
Put on any dress, honey.
The Mertzes will
be here in a minute.
What makes you think so?
I talked to Ethel
ten minutes ago.
She wasn't anywhere near ready.
She'll be here.
Fred told me that tonight
she's going to be here
ready to go, with her coat
on, at 8:00, no matter what.
Hah! If I know Ethel.
She's just about
getting out of the tub.
Well, look, just in case
they happen to be on time
would you please decide
which dress you want to put on?
Well, what dress would
you like me to wear?
How about this one, eh?
You like that dress?
Yeah, sure, I like
it; it's beautiful, fine.
No, Ethel's seen
me in that so much.
How about this one?
Oh, honey, everybody's
seen me in that.
Oh, I wouldn't
wear that to a movie.
Why not?
Don't tell me Gary
Cooper has seen you in it.
No, it's too tight.
Ay-ay-ay.
Hi, Rick, here we are!
You folks ready?
We'll be ready
in a minute, dear.
Now you got me doing it.
You see, he's got Ethel
up here, ready to go,
just like he said he would.
You go out and
talk to them, dear.
I'll be right out.
Okay.
Now, look, if you're not
ready in five minutes,
we're going to go without you.
Yes, dear.
All right.
Hiya, Fred. Hi, Ethel.
Hi, Rick.
You did better than I did.
Lucy's still dressing.
You're not firm enough.
Well, I'll be firm enough
tomorrow night, boy.
We're going to have
dinner with the new buss.
You're having dinner with a bus?
Mr. Littlefield... the fellow
that bought the nightclub...
I work for him
now; he's my buss.
Oh, I thought you meant bus,
like they have at
the boss station.
Oh.
Yeah.
Well, she'd better be
on time tomorrow night
or she'll really be known
as the late Mrs. Ricardo.
I heard that remark.
Hi, Fred. Hi, Lucy.
Hi, Ethel.
Oh, gee, do you look pretty!
Is that new?
What's the matter with you?
Oh, she's mad at me.
When I say 8:00,
ready or not, I mean it.
I don't get it.
Lucy, it's one minute to 7:00,
and we're supposed
to be there at 7:30.
I'll be ready in a minute, dear.
Lucy, I'm telling you,
I don't want anything
to go wrong tonight.
I'm talking to Mr. Littlefield
about making me the
manager of the club.
Now, I'm going to
give you 25 seconds...
20 seconds...
What were you saying, dear?
Lucy, you're all
dressed and ready to go.
Naturally.
Well, I apologize for
everything I ever said.
How did you do it?
I played a little
trick on myself.
What do you mean?
Well, knowing my own weakness
I wanted to make
sure that I'd be on time
so I turned the clock back
so I'd have an extra hour.
It's only 6:00, instead of 7:00.
Why, honey, that's wonderful.
I'm proud of you.
Thank you.
You know, I can
really get things done
if I just put my mind to it.
Oh, gee, I hope the Littlefields
have a good dinner.
I'm starved.
Me, too... I didn't
have any lunch.
You know, that clock
idea is real clever.
I should have thought
of that a long time ago.
Come on, honey.
Okay, dear.
Gee, look how dark
it is, and it's only 6:00.
Yeah, well, the days
are getting shorter.
No, they're not,
they're getting longer.
Lucy?
What?
Which way did
you turn this clock?
Forward or backwards?
Backwards, so I'd
get an extra hour.
Oh, no!
You should have
turned it forward.
Forward?
Sure, then when it said 7:00,
it would only be 6:00.
It's now 8:00.
Eww...
We'll be an hour
late for dinner.
Come on, will you?
Oh, no!
Alvin, what do you suppose
could have happened
to the Ricardos?
I can't imagine.
I told them dinner at 7:30.
It's nearly 8:30 now.
Really, when I realize
how you rushed me.
"Have it ready on time."
"Have it ready on time."
"Be sure it's ready on time."
Phoebe, you know I
consider tardiness a major sin.
I wish I could get
you to feel that way.
Oh, darling, why do you
persist in sneaking these in here?
They're so cheap-looking.
We can afford
real fruit, you know.
Alvin...
Mama gave us that wax fruit
for our wedding anniversary.
Now you put it right
back where it belongs.
I don't care, Phoebe...
Oh, there they are now.
Well, come in, come in, come in.
I don't believe you've
met Mrs. Littlefield.
Phoebe, may I present
Mrs. Ricardo, Mr. Ricardo.
How do you do?! How do you do?
Pleasure.
Oh, I'm so sorry
that we're late.
It's just disgraceful.
It's quite all...
Won't you sit down?
Mr. Ricardo,
you come and sit
here next to me.
Thank you, thank you.
Gee, I hope we haven't
ruined your dinner.
Oh, not at all.
Of course not.
Oh, that's good.
It was delicious.
You mean you finished dinner?
Oh, some time ago.
When I say 7:30, I mean 7:30.
Oh.
Of course, I could
fix you something
even though everything
has been put away
and the dishes are all washed.
Oh, well, I hate to bother you,
but, gee, I'm so darn hungry...
No, thank you, Mrs.
Littlefield, we've eaten.
But Ricky...
We've eaten.
See, when... when we saw that
we couldn't get a cab right away,
we-we had a little snack.
Oh, well, if you're quite sure.
- Yes.
Well, it's too bad you
couldn't make it for dinner.
Phoebe outdid herself.
It wasn't anything special.
Just pork chops.
Pork chops?
Oh, they're my favorite.
Oh, then you would
have loved these.
They were stuffed
and about that thick.
About that thick?
And the potatoes
were a masterpiece.
Now, Alvin!
Oh, but they were,
my dear, they were...
Baked, and with
big globs of cheese...
and butter.
Big globs of cheese and butter?
I must have gained five pounds,
what with all that
cheese and butter
and the hollandaise sauce.
Hollandaise sauce?
What was it on?
Asparagus tips...
Fresh, tender asparagus tips.
Are you... are you sure
you've both had dinner?
Oh, yes, we had plenty.
Didn't we, Lucy?
Hollandaise sauce, huh?
Perhaps you'd like
an after-dinner mint.
Oh, where are they?
Where are they?
Well, I-I think I have room
for just one teensy-
weensy mint.
I always say
there's nothing quite...
There's nothing
quite like a good
after-dinner mint, is there?
Oh!
I'll get some more.
I, uh, I must say, Mr. Ricardo,
I hope this being late
isn't a habit with you.
I like punctuality in the
people who work for me.
Oh, yes, I know.
This was just an accident, sir.
Well, I hope it was.
Mrs. Ricardo!
Lucy!
Lucy!
Honey, I don't know
what you're so upset about.
The Littlefields understood when
we explained the clock business.
Mrs. Littlefield cooked
dinner for us, didn't she?
It doesn't matter.
It was very embarrassing.
She wouldn't have had to
go through all that trouble
if you would have been on time.
Now, how long does it
take you in the bathtub?
To do what?
What are you writing there?
"Lucy's schedule"?
Lucy who?
Lucy you, that's who.
Let me see this.
I'm making out a schedule
so you can budget your time.
Budget my time?
You mean like I budget my money?
Heaven forbid.
Give me that.
Now, Ricky, listen...
You listen to me.
Now, I'm sick and tired
of you being late all the time.
It's obvious you
cannot budget your time,
so somebody
has to do it for you.
Well, I don't think
I'm going to like this.
How does it go?
Well, we'll write down everything
that you do during the day,
and we'll allow so much
time for each thing...
Ten minutes for this,
15 minutes for that...
Oh, I'm going to need more
than 15 minutes for that.
Never mind.
You're going to
go on this schedule
and you're starting tomorrow
morning, understand?
Good morning, dear.
Good morning.
How about a good-morning kiss?
Sorry, it's not on the schedule.
You know, as a matter of
fact, I want to congratulate you
on the way you've
been budgeting your time
in the last few days.
Well, as much as
I hate to admit it,
this thing does seem to work.
Good.
Is breakfast ready?
Yep, all set.
There's nothing on the stove.
Where is it?
Well, I knew I
wouldn't have time
to cook it this morning.
So, I had some time
left over last night,
so I cooked
breakfast last night.
You did what?
Don't worry about it spoiling.
It's all in the freezer.
Lucy, I can't eat this egg.
Why not?
It's too salty.
Well, I'd cook you another one,
but it would throw
me off my schedule.
Never mind, I have an
appointment with Mr. Littlefield.
Just give me some coffee, huh?
Yes, sir.
Thank you.
Lucy...
What's the matter?
You always like iced coffee.
More coffee, Ricky?
Oh, yes, thank you.
Another roll?
Don't mind if I do.
Don't you people
ever eat at your house?
Yes, sir.
It-it's just that I have
a very big appetite.
Oh. Oh, I see.
Well, let's get
down to business.
Um, I've been thinking
over your suggestion
about being the
manager of the club,
and I'd like to
talk to you about it.
Well, certainly.
I've been watching you,
and I like the way
you handle things.
Oh, thank you.
In fact, you have
all the qualifications
to be manager of the Tropicana.
Oh, well, then can
I... can I get the job?
No.
Oh.
I'd say yes, except
for one little thing...
That business about being
late for dinner the other night.
Oh, but that was
my wife's fault.
Oh, that's just it.
If a man can't run his own home,
I certainly can't give him
a nightclub to manage.
Uh, cigarette?
Yes, thank you.
You can appreciate
my position, of course.
Oh, yes, sir, I
do, of course I do.
Uh...
You see, Mr. Littlefield,
you don't understand.
That was before.
Things are all different now.
Oh?
Oh, yes, sir.
The other night when I got
home, I laid down the law.
I made out a schedule
and I'm making her stick to it.
And?
It's working fine.
She's really doing what you say?
Oh, sir, I got her
jumping around
like a trained seal.
A trained seal.
Oh, I sure would like
to see a thing like that.
Well, why don't you
come for dinner tonight,
and you can see how
the schedule works?
May I bring my wife?
Certainly.
Then she can see
that a house can
be run on schedule.
If it works the way
you say it does,
you can be the new manager.
Thank you very much.
Hi.
Oh, oh!
Hi, Ethel.
Uh... sit down.
I have three-and-a-half
minutes to spare.
Listen, Lucy, you're
going to have to cut out
this schedule business.
Why?
'Cause Fred thinks
it's a wonderful idea.
If it works out, he's
going to put me on one.
Well, truthfully, Ethel,
I find that I get
everything done,
and I have time left over.
Of course, I
cheated a little bit.
What do you mean,
you cheated a little bit?
I drew in an extra hour
at the bottom of the chart.
Where did you
get the extra hour?
From the next day.
From the next day?
Yeah. It'll work out fine
till the end of the year
and then I'll be
two weeks short.
Who can that be?
Oh, Mrs. Littlefield!
How do you do?
Come in, won't you?
Uh, this is my
neighbor, Ethel Mertz.
This is Mrs. Littlefield.
How do you do? How do you do?
Sit down, won't you?
Thank you.
Well, I... I didn't
expect you until tonight.
Mrs. Ricardo, what
are you trying to do
to the wives of America?
I beg your pardon?
Your husband told my husband
that you're running this
house on a time schedule.
That's right.
You Benedict Arnold.
What do you mean?
We wives have spent years
persuading our husbands
that we haven't
time to do our work.
Now, if you go
through with this,
you'll louse it
up for all of us.
You're darned right.
My husband wants to
put me on a schedule, too.
If my Alvin sees what he likes
here at dinner tonight
I start punching a
time clock tomorrow.
Well, I can't let Ricky down.
He's asked you here tonight
to show you how
proud he is of me.
Oh, yes?
Well, I overheard
him tell my husband
that he had you hopping around
like a trained seal.
Oh, he didn't mean it like that.
No, of course not.
Trained seal, huh?
It was probably
just an unfortunate
choice of words
when he invited us here tonight
to "watch you perform."
"Watch me perform"?
Well, I'm sorry, but
you're not going to see me
balance a ball on
my nose tonight.
Good girl!
Lucy, what are you going to do?
Will you and Fred
come to dinner tonight?
Sure. This is no
time for formality.
Phoebe, will you help me?
Lucy, I'll do anything.
Thank you.
Me, too.
Thank you.
Trained seals of
the world, unite!
Lucy?
Yes, dear?
Are you sure dinner
is going to be ready
when the Littlefields get here?
Now, don't worry, dear.
Everything will come
off right on schedule.
Good girl.
I got to hand it to you, Rick.
That schedule idea
was a real brainstorm.
I'm putting Ethel
on one tomorrow.
Attaboy!
You know, that little
idea is going to make me
a nightclub manager.
Good.
Here they are.
Come on in, come on in.
Hello, good evening,
Mr. Littlefield.
How are you?
Oh!
Sit right down
here, Mr. Littlefield.
Oh, I'd like you
to meet Mr. Mertz.
Mr. Littlefield.
How do you do? Sit right down.
Come in, Mrs. Littlefield.
Right over in here.
Lucy.
What?
What is this?
Well, can't waste time.
Got to keep on
schedule, you know.
Oh, oh.
Oh, Mr. Little...
the schedule, you know,
Mr. Littlefield, the schedule.
Oh. Oh, yeah, very interesting.
Well, let's talk.
How have you
been, Mr. Littlefield?
Oh, fine, fine.
I had a cold, but I
went to the doctor.
He gave me a shot.
It went right away.
Of course, there's been a
lot of colds going around...
Time's up!
How are you, Fred?
Not so good... I
got kind of a hitch...
Sorry. Mr. Littlefield
used up all your time.
How about a drink?
Yeah, that's a good idea.
I'd love one!
Yeah, so would
I; had a hard day.
A drink would just hit the spot.
Well, it's too bad we
don't have time for one.
Well, let's sit down and eat.
You sit right
here, Mr. Littlefield.
Fred, you're right
across from Mr. Littlefield.
Mrs. Littlefield, would
you help me in the kitchen?
I'd love to.
Lucy, Mrs.
Littlefield is a guest.
I don't mind.
She doesn't mind.
Well, I'm really hungry.
Me, too.
Well, that's good
because Lucy's a wonderful
little cook, you know.
Yes, sir!
Soup.
Soup!
Oh, and doesn't that look good.
Isn't that nice?
Well, dig in, everybody.
Lucy, where are you going?
It's all the time
we had for soup.
Got to stick to the
schedule, you know.
The schedule.
The schedule.
I didn't have time to taste it.
Too bad. It was delicious.
I wonder what kind it was.
Split pea, I think.
Split pea, yep.
Salad.
Salad!
Well, this is a nice salad.
Looks fine.
Doesn't that look good.
That is really...
Did you get any?
Me, either.
Look, look. There's a radish.
Ah!
Yeah.
Lucy!
What are you trying to do?
Just trying to stay on schedule.
I'll talk to you later.
Well, okay.
I think I have some
free time at 11:43 tonight.
What's the matter,
Mr. Littlefield?
There's a shirt button
in my water glass!
Lucy!
Yes, dear?
There's a shirt button in
Mr. Littlefield's water glass!
Oh, oh, well, I know
how that happened.
You see, I found
that I could save time
by washing the dishes
and the clothes together.
What is this?
Steak and peas.
They look frozen.
They are.
You see, there's no time on
the schedule for defrosting.
But don't worry.
We have some nice hot biscuits.
Ethel, let's have
those biscuits!
Here we go, girl!
Right smack through the middle!
There we go, yes, sir!
Pass them right along.
That a girl!
Come on, Ethel, that's it, kid!
Faster, faster. There we go.
Come on, a little
faster! That a girl.
Right straight
through the middle!
That a girl! Very good.
Just... Yeah, boy!
Just a minute!
Yeah, boy! I've
had enough of this.
I tell you...
Mr. Littlefield, please.
Please, Mr. Littlefield.
I think I can explain
this, Mr. Littlefield.
So can I!
You've got this
poor girl terrified.
She's scared to death of you.
She's afraid of losing a second.
Anyone can see that.
Yeah!
What a temper you must have.
Yeah.
It's one thing wearing
the trousers in the family,
but it's another
being a Simon Legree,
an ogre, a... a...
Monster.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, may-may-maybe I
have been cracking down
a little bit too hard.
- I - should say you have.
Now, first, we're going
to get rid of this nonsense!
Yes, sir.
Being a slave driver is
no way to run a home.
No, sir.
But... it's the only way
to run a nightclub, Mr. Manager.
Mr. Manager!
Mr. Manager!
Mr. Littlefield was
played by Gale Gordon,
and Mrs. Littlefield was
played by Edith Meiser.
"I Love Lucy" is a
Desilu production.
sakes, aren't you ready yet?
I'll be ready in a minute, dear.
Hurry up, we're going to miss
the start of the movie.
I'll be ready in a minute, dear.
I wonder what time
that feature starts.
What did you do with the paper?
I'll be ready in a minute, dear.
"I'll be ready in
a minute, dear."
"I'll be ready in
a minute, dear."
Ay-ay-ay.
Oh, there it is.
High Noon, Gary Cooper...
8:23!
I'll be ready in a minute, dear.
Ay-ay-ay.
Lucy, you haven't even
got your dress on yet.
You were supposed
to be ready an hour ago.
Well, it's all your fault.
My fault?
Yes, I wasted an hour
telling you I'd be
ready in a minute.
Oh, now, come on,
what are you doing?
Now, honey, I'm almost ready
and you're not helping any.
If you want to make
yourself useful,
get a dress out
for me to put on.
All right, all right.
Which, which dress
you want to wear?
Well, which dress
you want to put on?
I'm thinking.
I can't make up my mind.
Put on any dress, honey.
The Mertzes will
be here in a minute.
What makes you think so?
I talked to Ethel
ten minutes ago.
She wasn't anywhere near ready.
She'll be here.
Fred told me that tonight
she's going to be here
ready to go, with her coat
on, at 8:00, no matter what.
Hah! If I know Ethel.
She's just about
getting out of the tub.
Well, look, just in case
they happen to be on time
would you please decide
which dress you want to put on?
Well, what dress would
you like me to wear?
How about this one, eh?
You like that dress?
Yeah, sure, I like
it; it's beautiful, fine.
No, Ethel's seen
me in that so much.
How about this one?
Oh, honey, everybody's
seen me in that.
Oh, I wouldn't
wear that to a movie.
Why not?
Don't tell me Gary
Cooper has seen you in it.
No, it's too tight.
Ay-ay-ay.
Hi, Rick, here we are!
You folks ready?
We'll be ready
in a minute, dear.
Now you got me doing it.
You see, he's got Ethel
up here, ready to go,
just like he said he would.
You go out and
talk to them, dear.
I'll be right out.
Okay.
Now, look, if you're not
ready in five minutes,
we're going to go without you.
Yes, dear.
All right.
Hiya, Fred. Hi, Ethel.
Hi, Rick.
You did better than I did.
Lucy's still dressing.
You're not firm enough.
Well, I'll be firm enough
tomorrow night, boy.
We're going to have
dinner with the new buss.
You're having dinner with a bus?
Mr. Littlefield... the fellow
that bought the nightclub...
I work for him
now; he's my buss.
Oh, I thought you meant bus,
like they have at
the boss station.
Oh.
Yeah.
Well, she'd better be
on time tomorrow night
or she'll really be known
as the late Mrs. Ricardo.
I heard that remark.
Hi, Fred. Hi, Lucy.
Hi, Ethel.
Oh, gee, do you look pretty!
Is that new?
What's the matter with you?
Oh, she's mad at me.
When I say 8:00,
ready or not, I mean it.
I don't get it.
Lucy, it's one minute to 7:00,
and we're supposed
to be there at 7:30.
I'll be ready in a minute, dear.
Lucy, I'm telling you,
I don't want anything
to go wrong tonight.
I'm talking to Mr. Littlefield
about making me the
manager of the club.
Now, I'm going to
give you 25 seconds...
20 seconds...
What were you saying, dear?
Lucy, you're all
dressed and ready to go.
Naturally.
Well, I apologize for
everything I ever said.
How did you do it?
I played a little
trick on myself.
What do you mean?
Well, knowing my own weakness
I wanted to make
sure that I'd be on time
so I turned the clock back
so I'd have an extra hour.
It's only 6:00, instead of 7:00.
Why, honey, that's wonderful.
I'm proud of you.
Thank you.
You know, I can
really get things done
if I just put my mind to it.
Oh, gee, I hope the Littlefields
have a good dinner.
I'm starved.
Me, too... I didn't
have any lunch.
You know, that clock
idea is real clever.
I should have thought
of that a long time ago.
Come on, honey.
Okay, dear.
Gee, look how dark
it is, and it's only 6:00.
Yeah, well, the days
are getting shorter.
No, they're not,
they're getting longer.
Lucy?
What?
Which way did
you turn this clock?
Forward or backwards?
Backwards, so I'd
get an extra hour.
Oh, no!
You should have
turned it forward.
Forward?
Sure, then when it said 7:00,
it would only be 6:00.
It's now 8:00.
Eww...
We'll be an hour
late for dinner.
Come on, will you?
Oh, no!
Alvin, what do you suppose
could have happened
to the Ricardos?
I can't imagine.
I told them dinner at 7:30.
It's nearly 8:30 now.
Really, when I realize
how you rushed me.
"Have it ready on time."
"Have it ready on time."
"Be sure it's ready on time."
Phoebe, you know I
consider tardiness a major sin.
I wish I could get
you to feel that way.
Oh, darling, why do you
persist in sneaking these in here?
They're so cheap-looking.
We can afford
real fruit, you know.
Alvin...
Mama gave us that wax fruit
for our wedding anniversary.
Now you put it right
back where it belongs.
I don't care, Phoebe...
Oh, there they are now.
Well, come in, come in, come in.
I don't believe you've
met Mrs. Littlefield.
Phoebe, may I present
Mrs. Ricardo, Mr. Ricardo.
How do you do?! How do you do?
Pleasure.
Oh, I'm so sorry
that we're late.
It's just disgraceful.
It's quite all...
Won't you sit down?
Mr. Ricardo,
you come and sit
here next to me.
Thank you, thank you.
Gee, I hope we haven't
ruined your dinner.
Oh, not at all.
Of course not.
Oh, that's good.
It was delicious.
You mean you finished dinner?
Oh, some time ago.
When I say 7:30, I mean 7:30.
Oh.
Of course, I could
fix you something
even though everything
has been put away
and the dishes are all washed.
Oh, well, I hate to bother you,
but, gee, I'm so darn hungry...
No, thank you, Mrs.
Littlefield, we've eaten.
But Ricky...
We've eaten.
See, when... when we saw that
we couldn't get a cab right away,
we-we had a little snack.
Oh, well, if you're quite sure.
- Yes.
Well, it's too bad you
couldn't make it for dinner.
Phoebe outdid herself.
It wasn't anything special.
Just pork chops.
Pork chops?
Oh, they're my favorite.
Oh, then you would
have loved these.
They were stuffed
and about that thick.
About that thick?
And the potatoes
were a masterpiece.
Now, Alvin!
Oh, but they were,
my dear, they were...
Baked, and with
big globs of cheese...
and butter.
Big globs of cheese and butter?
I must have gained five pounds,
what with all that
cheese and butter
and the hollandaise sauce.
Hollandaise sauce?
What was it on?
Asparagus tips...
Fresh, tender asparagus tips.
Are you... are you sure
you've both had dinner?
Oh, yes, we had plenty.
Didn't we, Lucy?
Hollandaise sauce, huh?
Perhaps you'd like
an after-dinner mint.
Oh, where are they?
Where are they?
Well, I-I think I have room
for just one teensy-
weensy mint.
I always say
there's nothing quite...
There's nothing
quite like a good
after-dinner mint, is there?
Oh!
I'll get some more.
I, uh, I must say, Mr. Ricardo,
I hope this being late
isn't a habit with you.
I like punctuality in the
people who work for me.
Oh, yes, I know.
This was just an accident, sir.
Well, I hope it was.
Mrs. Ricardo!
Lucy!
Lucy!
Honey, I don't know
what you're so upset about.
The Littlefields understood when
we explained the clock business.
Mrs. Littlefield cooked
dinner for us, didn't she?
It doesn't matter.
It was very embarrassing.
She wouldn't have had to
go through all that trouble
if you would have been on time.
Now, how long does it
take you in the bathtub?
To do what?
What are you writing there?
"Lucy's schedule"?
Lucy who?
Lucy you, that's who.
Let me see this.
I'm making out a schedule
so you can budget your time.
Budget my time?
You mean like I budget my money?
Heaven forbid.
Give me that.
Now, Ricky, listen...
You listen to me.
Now, I'm sick and tired
of you being late all the time.
It's obvious you
cannot budget your time,
so somebody
has to do it for you.
Well, I don't think
I'm going to like this.
How does it go?
Well, we'll write down everything
that you do during the day,
and we'll allow so much
time for each thing...
Ten minutes for this,
15 minutes for that...
Oh, I'm going to need more
than 15 minutes for that.
Never mind.
You're going to
go on this schedule
and you're starting tomorrow
morning, understand?
Good morning, dear.
Good morning.
How about a good-morning kiss?
Sorry, it's not on the schedule.
You know, as a matter of
fact, I want to congratulate you
on the way you've
been budgeting your time
in the last few days.
Well, as much as
I hate to admit it,
this thing does seem to work.
Good.
Is breakfast ready?
Yep, all set.
There's nothing on the stove.
Where is it?
Well, I knew I
wouldn't have time
to cook it this morning.
So, I had some time
left over last night,
so I cooked
breakfast last night.
You did what?
Don't worry about it spoiling.
It's all in the freezer.
Lucy, I can't eat this egg.
Why not?
It's too salty.
Well, I'd cook you another one,
but it would throw
me off my schedule.
Never mind, I have an
appointment with Mr. Littlefield.
Just give me some coffee, huh?
Yes, sir.
Thank you.
Lucy...
What's the matter?
You always like iced coffee.
More coffee, Ricky?
Oh, yes, thank you.
Another roll?
Don't mind if I do.
Don't you people
ever eat at your house?
Yes, sir.
It-it's just that I have
a very big appetite.
Oh. Oh, I see.
Well, let's get
down to business.
Um, I've been thinking
over your suggestion
about being the
manager of the club,
and I'd like to
talk to you about it.
Well, certainly.
I've been watching you,
and I like the way
you handle things.
Oh, thank you.
In fact, you have
all the qualifications
to be manager of the Tropicana.
Oh, well, then can
I... can I get the job?
No.
Oh.
I'd say yes, except
for one little thing...
That business about being
late for dinner the other night.
Oh, but that was
my wife's fault.
Oh, that's just it.
If a man can't run his own home,
I certainly can't give him
a nightclub to manage.
Uh, cigarette?
Yes, thank you.
You can appreciate
my position, of course.
Oh, yes, sir, I
do, of course I do.
Uh...
You see, Mr. Littlefield,
you don't understand.
That was before.
Things are all different now.
Oh?
Oh, yes, sir.
The other night when I got
home, I laid down the law.
I made out a schedule
and I'm making her stick to it.
And?
It's working fine.
She's really doing what you say?
Oh, sir, I got her
jumping around
like a trained seal.
A trained seal.
Oh, I sure would like
to see a thing like that.
Well, why don't you
come for dinner tonight,
and you can see how
the schedule works?
May I bring my wife?
Certainly.
Then she can see
that a house can
be run on schedule.
If it works the way
you say it does,
you can be the new manager.
Thank you very much.
Hi.
Oh, oh!
Hi, Ethel.
Uh... sit down.
I have three-and-a-half
minutes to spare.
Listen, Lucy, you're
going to have to cut out
this schedule business.
Why?
'Cause Fred thinks
it's a wonderful idea.
If it works out, he's
going to put me on one.
Well, truthfully, Ethel,
I find that I get
everything done,
and I have time left over.
Of course, I
cheated a little bit.
What do you mean,
you cheated a little bit?
I drew in an extra hour
at the bottom of the chart.
Where did you
get the extra hour?
From the next day.
From the next day?
Yeah. It'll work out fine
till the end of the year
and then I'll be
two weeks short.
Who can that be?
Oh, Mrs. Littlefield!
How do you do?
Come in, won't you?
Uh, this is my
neighbor, Ethel Mertz.
This is Mrs. Littlefield.
How do you do? How do you do?
Sit down, won't you?
Thank you.
Well, I... I didn't
expect you until tonight.
Mrs. Ricardo, what
are you trying to do
to the wives of America?
I beg your pardon?
Your husband told my husband
that you're running this
house on a time schedule.
That's right.
You Benedict Arnold.
What do you mean?
We wives have spent years
persuading our husbands
that we haven't
time to do our work.
Now, if you go
through with this,
you'll louse it
up for all of us.
You're darned right.
My husband wants to
put me on a schedule, too.
If my Alvin sees what he likes
here at dinner tonight
I start punching a
time clock tomorrow.
Well, I can't let Ricky down.
He's asked you here tonight
to show you how
proud he is of me.
Oh, yes?
Well, I overheard
him tell my husband
that he had you hopping around
like a trained seal.
Oh, he didn't mean it like that.
No, of course not.
Trained seal, huh?
It was probably
just an unfortunate
choice of words
when he invited us here tonight
to "watch you perform."
"Watch me perform"?
Well, I'm sorry, but
you're not going to see me
balance a ball on
my nose tonight.
Good girl!
Lucy, what are you going to do?
Will you and Fred
come to dinner tonight?
Sure. This is no
time for formality.
Phoebe, will you help me?
Lucy, I'll do anything.
Thank you.
Me, too.
Thank you.
Trained seals of
the world, unite!
Lucy?
Yes, dear?
Are you sure dinner
is going to be ready
when the Littlefields get here?
Now, don't worry, dear.
Everything will come
off right on schedule.
Good girl.
I got to hand it to you, Rick.
That schedule idea
was a real brainstorm.
I'm putting Ethel
on one tomorrow.
Attaboy!
You know, that little
idea is going to make me
a nightclub manager.
Good.
Here they are.
Come on in, come on in.
Hello, good evening,
Mr. Littlefield.
How are you?
Oh!
Sit right down
here, Mr. Littlefield.
Oh, I'd like you
to meet Mr. Mertz.
Mr. Littlefield.
How do you do? Sit right down.
Come in, Mrs. Littlefield.
Right over in here.
Lucy.
What?
What is this?
Well, can't waste time.
Got to keep on
schedule, you know.
Oh, oh.
Oh, Mr. Little...
the schedule, you know,
Mr. Littlefield, the schedule.
Oh. Oh, yeah, very interesting.
Well, let's talk.
How have you
been, Mr. Littlefield?
Oh, fine, fine.
I had a cold, but I
went to the doctor.
He gave me a shot.
It went right away.
Of course, there's been a
lot of colds going around...
Time's up!
How are you, Fred?
Not so good... I
got kind of a hitch...
Sorry. Mr. Littlefield
used up all your time.
How about a drink?
Yeah, that's a good idea.
I'd love one!
Yeah, so would
I; had a hard day.
A drink would just hit the spot.
Well, it's too bad we
don't have time for one.
Well, let's sit down and eat.
You sit right
here, Mr. Littlefield.
Fred, you're right
across from Mr. Littlefield.
Mrs. Littlefield, would
you help me in the kitchen?
I'd love to.
Lucy, Mrs.
Littlefield is a guest.
I don't mind.
She doesn't mind.
Well, I'm really hungry.
Me, too.
Well, that's good
because Lucy's a wonderful
little cook, you know.
Yes, sir!
Soup.
Soup!
Oh, and doesn't that look good.
Isn't that nice?
Well, dig in, everybody.
Lucy, where are you going?
It's all the time
we had for soup.
Got to stick to the
schedule, you know.
The schedule.
The schedule.
I didn't have time to taste it.
Too bad. It was delicious.
I wonder what kind it was.
Split pea, I think.
Split pea, yep.
Salad.
Salad!
Well, this is a nice salad.
Looks fine.
Doesn't that look good.
That is really...
Did you get any?
Me, either.
Look, look. There's a radish.
Ah!
Yeah.
Lucy!
What are you trying to do?
Just trying to stay on schedule.
I'll talk to you later.
Well, okay.
I think I have some
free time at 11:43 tonight.
What's the matter,
Mr. Littlefield?
There's a shirt button
in my water glass!
Lucy!
Yes, dear?
There's a shirt button in
Mr. Littlefield's water glass!
Oh, oh, well, I know
how that happened.
You see, I found
that I could save time
by washing the dishes
and the clothes together.
What is this?
Steak and peas.
They look frozen.
They are.
You see, there's no time on
the schedule for defrosting.
But don't worry.
We have some nice hot biscuits.
Ethel, let's have
those biscuits!
Here we go, girl!
Right smack through the middle!
There we go, yes, sir!
Pass them right along.
That a girl!
Come on, Ethel, that's it, kid!
Faster, faster. There we go.
Come on, a little
faster! That a girl.
Right straight
through the middle!
That a girl! Very good.
Just... Yeah, boy!
Just a minute!
Yeah, boy! I've
had enough of this.
I tell you...
Mr. Littlefield, please.
Please, Mr. Littlefield.
I think I can explain
this, Mr. Littlefield.
So can I!
You've got this
poor girl terrified.
She's scared to death of you.
She's afraid of losing a second.
Anyone can see that.
Yeah!
What a temper you must have.
Yeah.
It's one thing wearing
the trousers in the family,
but it's another
being a Simon Legree,
an ogre, a... a...
Monster.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, may-may-maybe I
have been cracking down
a little bit too hard.
- I - should say you have.
Now, first, we're going
to get rid of this nonsense!
Yes, sir.
Being a slave driver is
no way to run a home.
No, sir.
But... it's the only way
to run a nightclub, Mr. Manager.
Mr. Manager!
Mr. Manager!
Mr. Littlefield was
played by Gale Gordon,
and Mrs. Littlefield was
played by Edith Meiser.
"I Love Lucy" is a
Desilu production.