I Love Lucy (1951–1957): Season 1, Episode 26 - The Marriage License - full transcript
When Lucy finds a misspelling on her marriage license, she believes her marriage to Ricky isn't legal.
Hi, Lucy. I'm going
down to the store.
Do you want...
What are you doing?
Cleaning out the desk.
Hasn't been done in a
year. Boy, what a mess.
They sure fill up with
junk, don't they? I'll say.
Is this the stuff
you're throwing away?
No, that's the
stuff I'm keeping.
What I'm throwing away
is in the wastebasket.
You're sure
getting rid of a lot.
Now, here's something
no home should be without.
What is it?
I don't know.
Why don't you throw it away?
Well, I can't till I
find out what it is.
Might be something I need.
I give up.
Don't you ever
throw anything away?
Not very often, no.
Everything brings back
some sort of a memory.
For instance, these are mementos
from all our wedding
anniversaries.
I keep something from each one.
Oh, Lucy, you're an
incurable sentimentalist.
Yeah, I'm sticky over Ricky.
Here's our marriage license.
Aw.
This is the little
piece of paper
that changed my
name to "Ricardo."
"On this day, Lucille
Esmerelda McGillicuddy
"was married to Ricky...
Bicardi"?
Bicardi?
Yeah, B-I-C-A-R-D-I.
I never noticed that before...
Must be a mistake in typing.
Well, it doesn't
make any difference.
Well, I don't know.
You know how funny the laws are.
Gee.
Ethel, you don't suppose
this license isn't
legal, do you?
Oh, of course it's legal.
Don't be ridiculous, Lucy.
Hey, I never saw this picture
of you two in a canoe before.
When was it taken?
Last summer, when
Mr. Bicardi and I were at the lake.
Now, Lucy, you're not going
to worry about that, are you?
No.
You are, too, aren't you?
Yes.
Well, it's just a
simple clerical error.
Well, what if it matters?
Maybe for ten years,
Ricky and I would
have been null and void.
Oh...
Hi, honey, hi, Ethel.
Hi.
How's my little wife?
What's the matter with her?
She's off on another one.
Well, good luck, Mr. Bicardi.
What?
What's she talking about?
What happened, honey?
I was cleaning out the desk
and I found this.
That's our marriage license.
Yeah.
Well, what's the matter?
Don't tell me it's expired.
Read it.
"On this day, Lucille
Esmerelda McGillicuddy
was married to Ricky Ricardo."
To Ricky who?
"Ricky Ric..."
Bicardi?
Oh, that's what she
was talking about.
Well, honey, it's
just a mistake.
I'll say it is!
We've never been married.
Never been married?
No.
Oh, now, sweetheart,
you're making a big
thing out of nothing.
Nothing?
Suppose there
is a Ricky Bicardi.
For all I know,
I might be married
to a rum factory.
Now, honey, you're being
completely ridiculous about this.
Well, I want you
to call your lawyer
and ask him if
we're legally married.
Well, honey, my
lawyer is out of town,
and besides, I'd feel silly...
I'm going to call the City Hall.
I'm going to get a hold
of the License Bureau,
and I'm going to find out.
Give me the City Hall, please.
Well, this is an emergency.
Thank you.
Hello, City Hall?
There's a mistake on my license
and I want to talk
to someone about it.
What do you mean,
"Call the tail waggers"?
It's... it's not a dog license,
it's a marriage license.
Oh.
Hello, Marriage Bureau?
There's a mistake on my license
and I want to know if it
makes any difference.
Oh. All right, I'll
be right down.
They say they have to see it.
Oh, honey, you're
not going to go
all the way down to
the City Hall, are you?
Now, honey, I just can't rest
until I find out.
I'll be back as soon as I can.
Ay, esta mujer esta
completamente loca.
Casada por diez
anos y todos los anos
se pone peor y peor y peor
de la cabeza, esa muchacha.
Hi, Rick.
Oh, hi, Fred.
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know
you were having a nap.
That's all right.
I got to get dressed anyway.
Ethel just told me
about the mistake in
your marriage license.
Isn't that silly?
Yeah, I just got ours out
and took a look at it.
Some darn fool
spelled my name right.
Well, it wouldn't make any
difference anyway, Fred.
I know. I thought I could
worm out on a technicality.
Lucy was so worried
that she went all the way
down to the License Bureau
to find out how we stand.
Well, I wish I'd
have known that.
I got a good friend down there.
I'd have called him for her.
They won't tell her
on the phone anyway.
Oh.
I wonder what'd happen
if this guy tells her
that the license is no good.
Oh, no.
Hey, how well do
you know this guy?
Well, he's a pretty good
friend of mine. Why?
He is, eh?
Yeah.
I was just thinking,
suppose you call
this guy down there
just for a gag, you
know, and tell him
that when Lucy gets down there
to tell her that the
license is no good
and that we're
not married at all.
Do you think he'll do it?
Oh, I know he'll do it.
Any word from Lucy yet?
No.
It's 9:00.
The License Bureau
closed at 5:30.
Where can she possibly be?
I don't know.
Oh, it's all my fault.
Oh, there she is now.
Honey, I've been so
worried about you...
Don't.
What's the matter?
I'm no longer yours to touch.
Well, now, Lucy,
now, look, hon...
Did you see the man
at the License Bureau?
Yes.
We've been revoked.
No!
I didn't know what to do,
so I've just been walking.
You've been
walking all this time?
Well, the last hour,
I was on a train coming home.
On a train?
Where did you walk to?
East Orange, New Jersey.
How I ever got through the
Holland Tunnel, I don't know.
Hey, you really took
that news seriously.
Well, how do you
think you'd feel
if you suddenly found out
you weren't married to Ethel?
Yeah!
Now, look, honey, look, sweetie,
I got something
to tell you, honey.
Oh, I know what you're
going to say, dear.
No, honey, you don't,
and this is very important,
so don't stop me. Now, look...
I know what you're
going to say, baby...
That you still love me
and that it doesn't make
any difference to you
whether we're
legally married or not.
Oh, Ricky, it's so
wonderful of you.
That's what you were
going to say, wasn't it, dear?
Yeah. Yeah, honey, yeah.
Well, I thought it all over
and there's only
one thing for us to do.
What's that, honey?
Get married again right away.
Married again?
Of course!
Oh, isn't this exciting!
And I don't want anything
to spoil my memories
of our first marriage...
The one that didn't take.
So we're going to do
the whole thing over again
exactly as we did before,
starting with the proposal.
You mean we got to go all
the way up to Connecticut?
You mean you don't want to?
Oh, yeah, honey,
sure, I want to.
Yeah, baby, I'd
like to do it. Okay.
Okay, we'll start the
first thing in the morning.
We'll find that
same little bench
and you'll propose
in the same way
and we'll be married by
the same justice of the peace
and we'll stay overnight at
the Byrum River Beagle Club
and-and we'll do everything
just the way we did before.
Honey, it's 125 miles
to the Bigger Vital River Club
and I got a rehearsal
the next morning.
Well, we'll get back
in plenty of time.
Come on, Ethel.
Good night, Ricky.
Lucy, where are you going?
Pardon me.
My dear Mr. Ricardo,
surely you don't
expect me to stay here.
You're a bachelor, remember?
Lucy, now wait a minute.
Lucy!
You got to have a friend
down at the License Bureau.
Well, I know it's around
in here someplace, Ricky.
It's got to be,
because I know...
Oh, here it is! Here it
is, the same little bench.
I told you it was in here.
Come on, Ricky!
Coming, coming.
Well, the least you could
do is help me with this stuff.
Why do you make
me carry everything?
Before we were married,
you insisted on carrying
everything, remember?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, honey!
Gee, I don't remember this
seat being so small, do you?
I guess the trees grew
in a little from each side.
Let's face it.
We've grown out a
little from each side.
Gee, doesn't just being here
make you feel romantic, Ricky?
Yeah.
Let's eat, huh?
The last time you were here,
you said, "Who needs food?
I want to feast on your beauty."
Oh. Who needs food?
I want to feast on your beauty.
You bring any mustard?
Somehow, it sounds
different than it did then.
Honey, what you
want to start with...
Chicken salad or peanut butter?
I want to start with a proposal.
Before we eat?
Now, Ricky, down on your knee.
Oh, honey, the
ground is all wet.
Down on your knee.
Now, I want everything
just the way it was before.
All right, honey, all right.
Okay.
Down on my knees.
You know, I... I
even took your wallet
out of your pocket
and left it home.
My wallet? Why? What
did you do that for?
Don't you remember?
That day you left
your wallet at home
and I had to pay
for the license.
Oh, yeah.
Well, go ahead
with the proposal.
Uh...
You took my hand...
Oh.
Uh...
um...
Lucy, I love you madly.
Lucy, I love you madly.
Lucy, I can't live without you.
Lucy, I can't live without you.
Why did you take my wallet?
Now I don't have
my driver's license!
I know... I know I don't deserve
a wonderful girl like you.
I know I don't deserve...
Take my hand.
Oh. I know I don't deserve
a wonderful girl like you.
Lucy, will you marry me?
Lucy, will you marry me?
What's the matter?
Well, this is a pretty
important step in my life.
I don't want to be
rushed into anything.
What?!
It's a good thing to
know where I stand.
Honey, I was just kidding you.
Come on, sit down.
No! Come on, sit down,
I'll propose, honey.
Come on. Never mind.
Oh, come on, honey.
Let me do it right.
Sit down, I'll propose. No.
It's a pretty big
step for me, too
and I don't want to be
rushed into anything.
Well, honey, can't you... ooh!
Can't you take a joke?
What's funny about your
not wanting to marry me?
Oh, honey, I do want to
marry you. I do really...
You do not. You do not.
The real truth slips out.
Oh, now, Lucy, baby.
Don't "Lucy baby" me!
From now on, I'm Miss
McGillicuddy to you.
And for your information,
I wouldn't marry you if
you were... Xavier Cugat!
Lucy!
Honey, look!
Xavier Cugat?!
Lucy! Honey!
Aah!
"The Eagle Hotel."
I don't know why you couldn't
remember to put gas in the car.
Even if I had remembered,
I couldn't have paid for it.
You took my wallet.
That's no excuse. No excuse.
Isn't there anybody
alive in this town?
What town?
Fire! Fire!
Start the engines pumping!
Where's the ladder?
Get the hose!
Where's the fire?
There is no fire.
Well, I heard the bell.
I saw the flames.
Oh... must have been your hair.
Well, sir...
what can I do for you?
I'm Bert Willoughby, Fire
Chief of this here fair city.
Well, look, Mr. Willoughby,
you know that gasoline
station across the street?
There's nobody there.
You know who runs it?
Oh, you're looking
for the man that
runs the gas station.
Yes, sir.
Fill 'er up?
Oh, you run the
gas station, too, eh?
Well, we're out of gas.
Too bad, so am I.
What? What?
Yep, won't get any
till 6:00 tomorrow morning.
Oh... well, I guess
we'll just have to
spend the night here.
Yep.
Sign the register.
"Mister and Missus...
"Ricky...
"Ri... Ri...
Ricardo."
Pardon me, please.
"Miss... Lucille McGillicuddy."
Good girl.
You cad!
That'll be two rooms...
102, 312.
Oh, what's the difference?
Two floors... That's
the difference.
I'll send a boy out
for your luggage.
Oh, well, this is all the
luggage that we have.
Oh, well, in that case,
it'll be $4.00 in advance.
Each, that is.
You took my wallet.
I don't have any money.
That's too bad.
Would you show me
to my room, please?
What do you mean,
"That's too bad"?
Give the man the
money, will you?
Why should I pay for your room?
We're not married.
Yeah, why should she?
Now, look, honey,
let me explain.
Let me explain the whole
thing to you, will you, please?
The whole thing is a gag, honey.
Now I'll tell you what
happened. Look...
You know, Fred
Mertz had a friend.
He had a friend down at
the License Bureau, see?
So I asked him to
tell his friend to tell you
when you got down there
that the license was no good
and that we were
not married at all.
That's what I told him
and he did it, you know?
Isn't that funny?
That's the phoniest
story I've ever heard.
That's the phoniest
story I have ever heard
and I've heard them all.
Now, Lucy, for goodness' sake...
Uh-uh.
Please, stop annoying
our paying guest.
I'll have a bell boy take you
right up to your
room, young lady.
Thank you.
Front!
Oh, are you the bell boy, too?
Why, sure.
Call for Philip...
Gosh, I've heard
that a thousand times,
but I just can't remember
what that fellow's last name is.
Follow me.
What? What happened? What?
Good morning.
Good morning.
Well, she's all filled with
gasoline and raring to go.
Good. Let's get out of here.
Gee, we're just in
time to go to New York,
in time for rehearsal. Let's go.
Just a minute.
That gasoline came to $3.25.
Well?
Well?
Well, give him the money.
You certainly don't expect me
to pay for the gas, do you?
Well, you'd better
give the man the money
or neither one of us is
going to get back in town.
Well, it doesn't matter to me.
I have no pressing engagements.
But, honey, I have...
I'm the sheriff.
I just had a call
from the gas station.
Which one of you
is the deadbeat?
He's your man, Officer.
All righty.
Well, I guess
you're going to jail.
Jail?!
Yep.
Wait a minute.
Un momento, caballero.
Me deje explicar.
Estamos casado hace diez anos.
Ella esta completamente loca.
Me quiere poner en la carcel.
Aha! A spy!
A spy?!
Just a minute.
Just a minute, Mr. Willoughby.
Uh, he isn't a spy.
Well, you don't kid me.
I know Russian when I hear it.
Well, that wasn't
Russian, that was Spanish.
Spanish? Well, we
licked them in '98,
and by golly, we
can do 'er again.
Come on.
Look, you'd better give
this character his money
or he's going to have me shot.
Why should I care
what happens to you
when you don't care enough
about me to marry me?
Yeah.
Say, why don't you
marry that little lady?
Well, I would marry her,
but she wouldn't marry me.
No? No.
Anyway, I don't even have money
to pay the justice of the peace.
Well, maybe if you
talk right nice like,
the justice of the peace
might do it for nothing.
Yeah? Well, you know
where I can find him?
Where's the happy couple?
You know, the real money
in this town is selling hats.
Look, Mr. Willoughby,
can we rush this thing?
I'm in a terrible hurry
to get back into town.
Young man, this
is serious business.
You just can't rush
into marriage, you know.
Now, let's see...
we need a witness.
Mother!
Yes?
That's Mrs. Willoughby.
I call her "Mother." Oh.
Look, can we get
started now, please?
I'm in a terrible rush.
Look, I'm not going to marry you
until you propose.
In front of Mr. Willoughby?
Oh, go on, please.
Go ahead, Ricky.
All right.
Lucy...
Down on your knee.
Lucy, will you...
Oh, wait! Wait just a minute.
I want Mother to see this.
Mother!
Hurry up, please.
Goodness! Come on!
Well, don't hurry me.
I want you to hear this.
What is it that you want me...
This young gentleman here
is just about to pop
the question to the lady.
Oh...
All right, Ricky, start popping.
Lucy...
Lucy, I...
Lucy, I think you're
the most wonderful
girl in the world.
I can't live without you.
Lucy, will you marry me?
Yes, I will.
How sweet!
All right.
Now, can we get
going now, please?
All righty.
Now, Mother, take your place.
Now, you two just get right...
No, you're on the other side.
Mother, please!
Well, I don't know where...
For all the times
you've done this...
For goodness' sake,
now, stand still, will you?
All right.
Oh, I just had a
terrible thought.
We can't get married.
We don't have a license.
Oh, don't worry about that.
I know.
You're the head of
the License Bureau.
Oh, no, I'm not, smarty.
I am.
Mrs. Willoughby,
would you make the
license out right away?
And I'll be right back.
Lucy, where are you going?
You'll see.
I want everything to be
just the way it was before.
Come on, honey,
aren't you ready yet?
Come on, Lucy.
Lucy, you look so beautiful.
Will you marry me?
Yes.
Well, I guess we're all set.
You're on the wrong side.
Oh.
We have a beautiful
ceremony, we do.
We start with a song.
Hit it, Mother.
♪ I... I love you
truly, truly, dear ♪
♪ Life with its sorrows,
life with its tear ♪
♪ Fades into dreams
when I feel you are near ♪
♪ For I love you
truly, truly, dear ♪
Thank you, Mrs. Willoughby.
Very nice, very nice.
That was very nice.
♪ Ah, love, 'tis something
to feel your kind hand ♪
♪ Ah, yes, 'tis something... ♪
Mother.
♪ Beside you to stand... ♪
Mother.
♪ Gone are the dreams... ♪
Mother!
That's all, Mother.
Don't I even get to
sing the second verse?
No.
Oh, nuts!
There's your certificate.
Now you're all legally married.
Thank you, Mrs. Willoughby.
Thank you very much.
Thank you. Good-bye.
Wait, wait, wait! I
forgot something.
Whee!
Oh!
Oh, thank you, thank you.
Thank you very...
Not so fast.
Do you own that car
parked out there at the curb?
You know I do... You
just filled it up with gas
a couple of hours ago.
Do you realize that
you've parked 12 hours
in a one-hour zone?
Oh...
Ten dollars or ten days.
But we just gave you
all the money we had
to pay for the gas.
Ten dollars or ten days.
Just a minute, Bert.
You young folks
just run right along
and forget what he said.
Mother, please!
Are you forgetting you're
talking to the sheriff?
Father, you're
forgetting I'm the mayor.
Mr. Willoughby was
played by Irving Bacon.
Mrs. Willoughby was played
by Miss Elizabeth Patterson.
I Love Lucy is a
Desilu Production.
down to the store.
Do you want...
What are you doing?
Cleaning out the desk.
Hasn't been done in a
year. Boy, what a mess.
They sure fill up with
junk, don't they? I'll say.
Is this the stuff
you're throwing away?
No, that's the
stuff I'm keeping.
What I'm throwing away
is in the wastebasket.
You're sure
getting rid of a lot.
Now, here's something
no home should be without.
What is it?
I don't know.
Why don't you throw it away?
Well, I can't till I
find out what it is.
Might be something I need.
I give up.
Don't you ever
throw anything away?
Not very often, no.
Everything brings back
some sort of a memory.
For instance, these are mementos
from all our wedding
anniversaries.
I keep something from each one.
Oh, Lucy, you're an
incurable sentimentalist.
Yeah, I'm sticky over Ricky.
Here's our marriage license.
Aw.
This is the little
piece of paper
that changed my
name to "Ricardo."
"On this day, Lucille
Esmerelda McGillicuddy
"was married to Ricky...
Bicardi"?
Bicardi?
Yeah, B-I-C-A-R-D-I.
I never noticed that before...
Must be a mistake in typing.
Well, it doesn't
make any difference.
Well, I don't know.
You know how funny the laws are.
Gee.
Ethel, you don't suppose
this license isn't
legal, do you?
Oh, of course it's legal.
Don't be ridiculous, Lucy.
Hey, I never saw this picture
of you two in a canoe before.
When was it taken?
Last summer, when
Mr. Bicardi and I were at the lake.
Now, Lucy, you're not going
to worry about that, are you?
No.
You are, too, aren't you?
Yes.
Well, it's just a
simple clerical error.
Well, what if it matters?
Maybe for ten years,
Ricky and I would
have been null and void.
Oh...
Hi, honey, hi, Ethel.
Hi.
How's my little wife?
What's the matter with her?
She's off on another one.
Well, good luck, Mr. Bicardi.
What?
What's she talking about?
What happened, honey?
I was cleaning out the desk
and I found this.
That's our marriage license.
Yeah.
Well, what's the matter?
Don't tell me it's expired.
Read it.
"On this day, Lucille
Esmerelda McGillicuddy
was married to Ricky Ricardo."
To Ricky who?
"Ricky Ric..."
Bicardi?
Oh, that's what she
was talking about.
Well, honey, it's
just a mistake.
I'll say it is!
We've never been married.
Never been married?
No.
Oh, now, sweetheart,
you're making a big
thing out of nothing.
Nothing?
Suppose there
is a Ricky Bicardi.
For all I know,
I might be married
to a rum factory.
Now, honey, you're being
completely ridiculous about this.
Well, I want you
to call your lawyer
and ask him if
we're legally married.
Well, honey, my
lawyer is out of town,
and besides, I'd feel silly...
I'm going to call the City Hall.
I'm going to get a hold
of the License Bureau,
and I'm going to find out.
Give me the City Hall, please.
Well, this is an emergency.
Thank you.
Hello, City Hall?
There's a mistake on my license
and I want to talk
to someone about it.
What do you mean,
"Call the tail waggers"?
It's... it's not a dog license,
it's a marriage license.
Oh.
Hello, Marriage Bureau?
There's a mistake on my license
and I want to know if it
makes any difference.
Oh. All right, I'll
be right down.
They say they have to see it.
Oh, honey, you're
not going to go
all the way down to
the City Hall, are you?
Now, honey, I just can't rest
until I find out.
I'll be back as soon as I can.
Ay, esta mujer esta
completamente loca.
Casada por diez
anos y todos los anos
se pone peor y peor y peor
de la cabeza, esa muchacha.
Hi, Rick.
Oh, hi, Fred.
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know
you were having a nap.
That's all right.
I got to get dressed anyway.
Ethel just told me
about the mistake in
your marriage license.
Isn't that silly?
Yeah, I just got ours out
and took a look at it.
Some darn fool
spelled my name right.
Well, it wouldn't make any
difference anyway, Fred.
I know. I thought I could
worm out on a technicality.
Lucy was so worried
that she went all the way
down to the License Bureau
to find out how we stand.
Well, I wish I'd
have known that.
I got a good friend down there.
I'd have called him for her.
They won't tell her
on the phone anyway.
Oh.
I wonder what'd happen
if this guy tells her
that the license is no good.
Oh, no.
Hey, how well do
you know this guy?
Well, he's a pretty good
friend of mine. Why?
He is, eh?
Yeah.
I was just thinking,
suppose you call
this guy down there
just for a gag, you
know, and tell him
that when Lucy gets down there
to tell her that the
license is no good
and that we're
not married at all.
Do you think he'll do it?
Oh, I know he'll do it.
Any word from Lucy yet?
No.
It's 9:00.
The License Bureau
closed at 5:30.
Where can she possibly be?
I don't know.
Oh, it's all my fault.
Oh, there she is now.
Honey, I've been so
worried about you...
Don't.
What's the matter?
I'm no longer yours to touch.
Well, now, Lucy,
now, look, hon...
Did you see the man
at the License Bureau?
Yes.
We've been revoked.
No!
I didn't know what to do,
so I've just been walking.
You've been
walking all this time?
Well, the last hour,
I was on a train coming home.
On a train?
Where did you walk to?
East Orange, New Jersey.
How I ever got through the
Holland Tunnel, I don't know.
Hey, you really took
that news seriously.
Well, how do you
think you'd feel
if you suddenly found out
you weren't married to Ethel?
Yeah!
Now, look, honey, look, sweetie,
I got something
to tell you, honey.
Oh, I know what you're
going to say, dear.
No, honey, you don't,
and this is very important,
so don't stop me. Now, look...
I know what you're
going to say, baby...
That you still love me
and that it doesn't make
any difference to you
whether we're
legally married or not.
Oh, Ricky, it's so
wonderful of you.
That's what you were
going to say, wasn't it, dear?
Yeah. Yeah, honey, yeah.
Well, I thought it all over
and there's only
one thing for us to do.
What's that, honey?
Get married again right away.
Married again?
Of course!
Oh, isn't this exciting!
And I don't want anything
to spoil my memories
of our first marriage...
The one that didn't take.
So we're going to do
the whole thing over again
exactly as we did before,
starting with the proposal.
You mean we got to go all
the way up to Connecticut?
You mean you don't want to?
Oh, yeah, honey,
sure, I want to.
Yeah, baby, I'd
like to do it. Okay.
Okay, we'll start the
first thing in the morning.
We'll find that
same little bench
and you'll propose
in the same way
and we'll be married by
the same justice of the peace
and we'll stay overnight at
the Byrum River Beagle Club
and-and we'll do everything
just the way we did before.
Honey, it's 125 miles
to the Bigger Vital River Club
and I got a rehearsal
the next morning.
Well, we'll get back
in plenty of time.
Come on, Ethel.
Good night, Ricky.
Lucy, where are you going?
Pardon me.
My dear Mr. Ricardo,
surely you don't
expect me to stay here.
You're a bachelor, remember?
Lucy, now wait a minute.
Lucy!
You got to have a friend
down at the License Bureau.
Well, I know it's around
in here someplace, Ricky.
It's got to be,
because I know...
Oh, here it is! Here it
is, the same little bench.
I told you it was in here.
Come on, Ricky!
Coming, coming.
Well, the least you could
do is help me with this stuff.
Why do you make
me carry everything?
Before we were married,
you insisted on carrying
everything, remember?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, honey!
Gee, I don't remember this
seat being so small, do you?
I guess the trees grew
in a little from each side.
Let's face it.
We've grown out a
little from each side.
Gee, doesn't just being here
make you feel romantic, Ricky?
Yeah.
Let's eat, huh?
The last time you were here,
you said, "Who needs food?
I want to feast on your beauty."
Oh. Who needs food?
I want to feast on your beauty.
You bring any mustard?
Somehow, it sounds
different than it did then.
Honey, what you
want to start with...
Chicken salad or peanut butter?
I want to start with a proposal.
Before we eat?
Now, Ricky, down on your knee.
Oh, honey, the
ground is all wet.
Down on your knee.
Now, I want everything
just the way it was before.
All right, honey, all right.
Okay.
Down on my knees.
You know, I... I
even took your wallet
out of your pocket
and left it home.
My wallet? Why? What
did you do that for?
Don't you remember?
That day you left
your wallet at home
and I had to pay
for the license.
Oh, yeah.
Well, go ahead
with the proposal.
Uh...
You took my hand...
Oh.
Uh...
um...
Lucy, I love you madly.
Lucy, I love you madly.
Lucy, I can't live without you.
Lucy, I can't live without you.
Why did you take my wallet?
Now I don't have
my driver's license!
I know... I know I don't deserve
a wonderful girl like you.
I know I don't deserve...
Take my hand.
Oh. I know I don't deserve
a wonderful girl like you.
Lucy, will you marry me?
Lucy, will you marry me?
What's the matter?
Well, this is a pretty
important step in my life.
I don't want to be
rushed into anything.
What?!
It's a good thing to
know where I stand.
Honey, I was just kidding you.
Come on, sit down.
No! Come on, sit down,
I'll propose, honey.
Come on. Never mind.
Oh, come on, honey.
Let me do it right.
Sit down, I'll propose. No.
It's a pretty big
step for me, too
and I don't want to be
rushed into anything.
Well, honey, can't you... ooh!
Can't you take a joke?
What's funny about your
not wanting to marry me?
Oh, honey, I do want to
marry you. I do really...
You do not. You do not.
The real truth slips out.
Oh, now, Lucy, baby.
Don't "Lucy baby" me!
From now on, I'm Miss
McGillicuddy to you.
And for your information,
I wouldn't marry you if
you were... Xavier Cugat!
Lucy!
Honey, look!
Xavier Cugat?!
Lucy! Honey!
Aah!
"The Eagle Hotel."
I don't know why you couldn't
remember to put gas in the car.
Even if I had remembered,
I couldn't have paid for it.
You took my wallet.
That's no excuse. No excuse.
Isn't there anybody
alive in this town?
What town?
Fire! Fire!
Start the engines pumping!
Where's the ladder?
Get the hose!
Where's the fire?
There is no fire.
Well, I heard the bell.
I saw the flames.
Oh... must have been your hair.
Well, sir...
what can I do for you?
I'm Bert Willoughby, Fire
Chief of this here fair city.
Well, look, Mr. Willoughby,
you know that gasoline
station across the street?
There's nobody there.
You know who runs it?
Oh, you're looking
for the man that
runs the gas station.
Yes, sir.
Fill 'er up?
Oh, you run the
gas station, too, eh?
Well, we're out of gas.
Too bad, so am I.
What? What?
Yep, won't get any
till 6:00 tomorrow morning.
Oh... well, I guess
we'll just have to
spend the night here.
Yep.
Sign the register.
"Mister and Missus...
"Ricky...
"Ri... Ri...
Ricardo."
Pardon me, please.
"Miss... Lucille McGillicuddy."
Good girl.
You cad!
That'll be two rooms...
102, 312.
Oh, what's the difference?
Two floors... That's
the difference.
I'll send a boy out
for your luggage.
Oh, well, this is all the
luggage that we have.
Oh, well, in that case,
it'll be $4.00 in advance.
Each, that is.
You took my wallet.
I don't have any money.
That's too bad.
Would you show me
to my room, please?
What do you mean,
"That's too bad"?
Give the man the
money, will you?
Why should I pay for your room?
We're not married.
Yeah, why should she?
Now, look, honey,
let me explain.
Let me explain the whole
thing to you, will you, please?
The whole thing is a gag, honey.
Now I'll tell you what
happened. Look...
You know, Fred
Mertz had a friend.
He had a friend down at
the License Bureau, see?
So I asked him to
tell his friend to tell you
when you got down there
that the license was no good
and that we were
not married at all.
That's what I told him
and he did it, you know?
Isn't that funny?
That's the phoniest
story I've ever heard.
That's the phoniest
story I have ever heard
and I've heard them all.
Now, Lucy, for goodness' sake...
Uh-uh.
Please, stop annoying
our paying guest.
I'll have a bell boy take you
right up to your
room, young lady.
Thank you.
Front!
Oh, are you the bell boy, too?
Why, sure.
Call for Philip...
Gosh, I've heard
that a thousand times,
but I just can't remember
what that fellow's last name is.
Follow me.
What? What happened? What?
Good morning.
Good morning.
Well, she's all filled with
gasoline and raring to go.
Good. Let's get out of here.
Gee, we're just in
time to go to New York,
in time for rehearsal. Let's go.
Just a minute.
That gasoline came to $3.25.
Well?
Well?
Well, give him the money.
You certainly don't expect me
to pay for the gas, do you?
Well, you'd better
give the man the money
or neither one of us is
going to get back in town.
Well, it doesn't matter to me.
I have no pressing engagements.
But, honey, I have...
I'm the sheriff.
I just had a call
from the gas station.
Which one of you
is the deadbeat?
He's your man, Officer.
All righty.
Well, I guess
you're going to jail.
Jail?!
Yep.
Wait a minute.
Un momento, caballero.
Me deje explicar.
Estamos casado hace diez anos.
Ella esta completamente loca.
Me quiere poner en la carcel.
Aha! A spy!
A spy?!
Just a minute.
Just a minute, Mr. Willoughby.
Uh, he isn't a spy.
Well, you don't kid me.
I know Russian when I hear it.
Well, that wasn't
Russian, that was Spanish.
Spanish? Well, we
licked them in '98,
and by golly, we
can do 'er again.
Come on.
Look, you'd better give
this character his money
or he's going to have me shot.
Why should I care
what happens to you
when you don't care enough
about me to marry me?
Yeah.
Say, why don't you
marry that little lady?
Well, I would marry her,
but she wouldn't marry me.
No? No.
Anyway, I don't even have money
to pay the justice of the peace.
Well, maybe if you
talk right nice like,
the justice of the peace
might do it for nothing.
Yeah? Well, you know
where I can find him?
Where's the happy couple?
You know, the real money
in this town is selling hats.
Look, Mr. Willoughby,
can we rush this thing?
I'm in a terrible hurry
to get back into town.
Young man, this
is serious business.
You just can't rush
into marriage, you know.
Now, let's see...
we need a witness.
Mother!
Yes?
That's Mrs. Willoughby.
I call her "Mother." Oh.
Look, can we get
started now, please?
I'm in a terrible rush.
Look, I'm not going to marry you
until you propose.
In front of Mr. Willoughby?
Oh, go on, please.
Go ahead, Ricky.
All right.
Lucy...
Down on your knee.
Lucy, will you...
Oh, wait! Wait just a minute.
I want Mother to see this.
Mother!
Hurry up, please.
Goodness! Come on!
Well, don't hurry me.
I want you to hear this.
What is it that you want me...
This young gentleman here
is just about to pop
the question to the lady.
Oh...
All right, Ricky, start popping.
Lucy...
Lucy, I...
Lucy, I think you're
the most wonderful
girl in the world.
I can't live without you.
Lucy, will you marry me?
Yes, I will.
How sweet!
All right.
Now, can we get
going now, please?
All righty.
Now, Mother, take your place.
Now, you two just get right...
No, you're on the other side.
Mother, please!
Well, I don't know where...
For all the times
you've done this...
For goodness' sake,
now, stand still, will you?
All right.
Oh, I just had a
terrible thought.
We can't get married.
We don't have a license.
Oh, don't worry about that.
I know.
You're the head of
the License Bureau.
Oh, no, I'm not, smarty.
I am.
Mrs. Willoughby,
would you make the
license out right away?
And I'll be right back.
Lucy, where are you going?
You'll see.
I want everything to be
just the way it was before.
Come on, honey,
aren't you ready yet?
Come on, Lucy.
Lucy, you look so beautiful.
Will you marry me?
Yes.
Well, I guess we're all set.
You're on the wrong side.
Oh.
We have a beautiful
ceremony, we do.
We start with a song.
Hit it, Mother.
♪ I... I love you
truly, truly, dear ♪
♪ Life with its sorrows,
life with its tear ♪
♪ Fades into dreams
when I feel you are near ♪
♪ For I love you
truly, truly, dear ♪
Thank you, Mrs. Willoughby.
Very nice, very nice.
That was very nice.
♪ Ah, love, 'tis something
to feel your kind hand ♪
♪ Ah, yes, 'tis something... ♪
Mother.
♪ Beside you to stand... ♪
Mother.
♪ Gone are the dreams... ♪
Mother!
That's all, Mother.
Don't I even get to
sing the second verse?
No.
Oh, nuts!
There's your certificate.
Now you're all legally married.
Thank you, Mrs. Willoughby.
Thank you very much.
Thank you. Good-bye.
Wait, wait, wait! I
forgot something.
Whee!
Oh!
Oh, thank you, thank you.
Thank you very...
Not so fast.
Do you own that car
parked out there at the curb?
You know I do... You
just filled it up with gas
a couple of hours ago.
Do you realize that
you've parked 12 hours
in a one-hour zone?
Oh...
Ten dollars or ten days.
But we just gave you
all the money we had
to pay for the gas.
Ten dollars or ten days.
Just a minute, Bert.
You young folks
just run right along
and forget what he said.
Mother, please!
Are you forgetting you're
talking to the sheriff?
Father, you're
forgetting I'm the mayor.
Mr. Willoughby was
played by Irving Bacon.
Mrs. Willoughby was played
by Miss Elizabeth Patterson.
I Love Lucy is a
Desilu Production.